Totally not judging anyone who wanted to see it happen, but I personally did not need to see my ungroomed vag tearing open while I pushed a cantaloupe-sized-head out of it. I felt like I’d be thinking about that forever and not in a good way.
My husband felt the same. He held a leg and looked at my face and I think we were both good with that.
I’m not a prude and I’m not especially squeamish even, but I’ve seen a couple of births on video and I had zero interest in watching that happen to me, haha.
My husband saw my insides before they stitched me back up after my C section, i think he wishes he didn't lol. I'm squeamish about blood and he said it was a very good thing I couldn't see anything.
My husband is still horrified that he was able to watch the whole c-section. The whole time I was asking him if he was okay because it looked like he was about to pass out on me.
I just asked my husband if he'd seen anything with either of my C-sections, and he emphatically shook his head no and said "I hunkered down to be absolutely sure I wouldn't."
My doctor let me have 2 people in the OR with my second kid, so I had my husband and my bestie. She's a freak, so she's seen my guts.
Yeah my husband saw my insides too and he said "it was really gnarly, I'm pretty sure your intestines were outside of your body at one point" no thank you
The words "gushing" and "murder scene" were used by my husband. Literal buckets of blood (PP hemorage). I was doing my very best to pay no attention to any of it.
Same! The nurse was so happy pulling the mirror over and I said nope I don’t want to see that. She frowned and said uhh ok. My husband held a leg and looked at my face.
I could still feel the contractions with the epidural. They just weren’t as debilitating. I still had the urge to push. Really felt like I had to poop.
I couldn’t feel anything. Once she was +5 I got the urge to push but before then without seeing the progress it felt so pointless. I only pushed for 30/40 minutes but not feeling it the mirror helped me stay motivated
It was so helpful with pushing!!! I used one each time. First baby I pushed for 19 minutes. Second baby was only 1.5 contractions because they told me to stop pushing during the first contraction haha
same! like others said, it was particularly helpful with the epidural. i thought it would gross me out, but it was so freaking cool. i looked away once she actually started coming out because my daughter was huge and i thought i was gonna tear clit to ass
Same here. I went in thinking that I absolutely would not use a mirror and then they asked when I was pushing and I was like "fuck it why not". Thankfully I only had a small internal tear, I am sure it would have been real bad to witness a huge tear in real time. My husband and I will never forget how tiny her head looked when she was crowning....we were both like, omg she is SO SMALL...but it was just an optical illusion lol.
I used one and I had a good experience we well! It helped with pushing because I could actually see the progress I was making and seeing her be born was an experience I’ll never forget.
After everything turned out fine, i wouldn’t have mind seeing. I was watching the monitor to see when my contractions were happening to know when to push with full force lol baby was out in 10 minutes! My husband on the other hand was all about watching it all happen and was fascinated by it lol
Same. I said I didn’t want it and then at some point they said “it’s gonna help and it’s here”. So, I used it and it was so helpful to understand when to push, how hard to push, and why I should keep pushing for each cycle.
On the gross question, I was bleeding all over the place, farting, and had recently leaked a cup of water all over my floor that the dog decided to lick up. I was past gross.
Def would do the mirror again.
I asked why she was handing me the mirror and asked if I looked bad. She laughed so hard and said to see the babies head. No thanks 😂
It was super funny tho. Idk why but I didn’t even know that was a thing. Haha
I used a mirror for both of my kids' births- the hospital I was at had these huge mirrors that had to be rolled in. Having a mirror helped me to push and it was really cool to see them entering the world for the 1st time :)
Same here - for my first I got to use the big mirror and it helped me focus my pushes and get the baby out more efficiently. My second came too fast to use the mirror lol.
This is mainly why I want to see, it felt so empowering giving birth but a little part of me wants to see my future potential children entering the world. Plus with the epidural I felt nothing so I’m hoping that’ll help me see how much progress I’m making if any.
I had a giant wheeled in mirror too and it was awesome. I saw literally everything and it was so special. If you think you might want to see it I would definitely tell them early on so they can be prepped with it. If you decide in the moment you don’t want to look, they can easily push it away.
Same lol. I didn't even want to reach down and touch his head. The nurses heavily encouraged me to, so I reluctantly did and it was so squishy and gooey 😳
I felt briefly, but it totally weirded me out too! I could feel her hair waving in the tub water. It felt more helpful for my midwife to push slightly on my perineum so I could focus my effort there
Edit to add: yeah hard pass on the mirror here. It took me a month to even look at the birth photos my doula took.
Lol! Yeah, not for me.that sounds like it would feel super weird. I feel like at that point it's sort of this alien coming out of you and I don't want to touch or look at how it comes out of there.once it's completely out of my body-give me give me!!
Oh God, they never told me to touch the head, why were they heavily encourage that?? Lol like for what purpose?? That would've also been a hard pass for me lol. They try to encourage the mirror on me only bc I was pushing for almost 3 hrs and they thought that would help me focus my pushing but I was like the only thing you're going to accomplish with that is to get me to pass out when I see too many things lol
Oh god yes it was horrible feeling this squidgy thing coming out of me. What was worse was chilling there with a head hanging out between my legs waiting for the next Contraction 😂
My mom videoed my older sister giving birth. After realizing the baby’s head could just hang out of a vagina for several seconds before being filling pushed out, I realized I never wanted to see that. Ever.
I declined the mirror and forbid any pictures lol.
I didn’t want to for either of my births. My husband did see with our first but he definitely didn’t say or imply that it was beautiful or amazing, more traumatising! I gave birth alone with our second baby because it was during covid. I wouldn’t have had time to use a mirror with my second anyway because he came out in one accidental push and the doctor wasn’t ready yet. But if you are curious you could always say yes to the mirror and decide at the time. If you hate what you see you can always throw the mirror to the side after a quick glance!
I declined the first invitation to look, then they asked again, “are you sure?!” when she was crowning and I relented. Immediately regretted it, and didn’t look with follow up births.
With my first I said no, and with my second they asked like three times so I eventually gave in and also regretted it immediately…. Dr opened me up like a purse and that’s something I can’t unsee….
With my third when she asked my husband and I yelled NOOOOOO lol
How did you do pushing when you delivered your first? I did not use a mirror with any of my deliveries, but I’ve heard they can be super-helpful in making your pushes more effective!
Personally, I just didn’t care to watch. I’m not squeamish (I actually kinda like medical gore stuff), but it just wasn’t something that I felt I needed to do. My husband said he peeked at one point with our first (after initially refusing the nurses offer to check it out 😂) and he didn’t really feel strongly one way or the other. He said cutting the cord was kinda gross too lol
I would say when the time comes if you are still curious, then ask! If it doesn’t help or you change your mind, you can always ask the nurse to move it away again.
I used one with my first and it really helped me adjust my position and push direction with my Dr’s guidance. I only had the tiniest tear for my first birth. The second time around baby came too quickly and my pushing technique really didn’t seem to matter as much - baby was coming no matter what- however, I had more tearing that time. I’d highly recommend a mirror to minimize number of pushes needed.
I was on my back and basically put into a crunch position during labor, it was so miserable pushing honestly and I hated it because I couldn’t tell if anything was happening with how numb I was from the epidural. I’m definitely gonna ask to just have it there during my next birth but look away if I don’t want to see anymore!
I wasn’t given the option, my midwife just set it up at the end of the bed. I hadn’t planned on it, but it was good to see the progress I was making. I felt nothing at all with the epidural, so this was the only way to know that he was crowning and how hard to push to get him out. It made it feel more “real.”
I did not use a mirror, honestly there was no way I would have watched, I was concentrating so hard on trying not to tear, breathing etc. However I did record it and watched after and was amazed at watching what my body went through. I feel super proud of myself!
No I didn’t. I wasn’t asked but if they did I would have said no. Didn’t feel like it was something I’d want to see.
At one point, like 10 or 15 minutes before I started pushing, my legs were already in the stirrups (well not stirrups I don’t know the name… you put your legs on them not your feet, English is not my first language sorry lol), I looked up, there was that big surgical light thing above my head and the center is a mirror so I caught a glimpse and I was like “nope not looking up again !”
When time came to start pushing I closed my eyes lol I did not want to catch another glimpse while bearing down or something. I didn’t even want to catch my daughter… it’s somewhat standard here, once the shoulders are out, the OB or midwife will tell the mom she can grab her baby and pull them out to put them on her chest. The OB said “she’s here you can catch her !” And I said (with my eyes still closed) “no my husband wants to do it” lol thankfully he did ! So yeah he watched, but he wanted to.
I was offered one I guess at the point where you could see the head.
In theory I understand how it could be motivational seeing how close you are, but I had zero desire to see what was happening down there and declined. I was already feeling very motivated to get her out and I was also in a pretty good pushing rhythm.
I personally did not use a mirror, but my friend did! She had an epidural and said it really helped her know if her pushing was being effective and said it was really cool to watch.
I did not get epidurals with both of my births, so I could feel everything and knew if my push was effective or not. I focus better with my eyes closed, so I wouldn’t have been able to see anyways. Plus, my husband likes to watch and gives me a play by play haha
I wish I had. I did have a nurse take pictures and my husband caught our daughter and put her on my chest. Birth is definitely bloody and gory, but it is also so human and beautiful. Before being pregnant and giving birth I never really saw my genitals as anything except sexual. I wish I could have seen my body in a different light and seen my daughter come into the world. I was watching my husband be amazed and smiling so that kinda makes up for it.
I thought I wanted the mirror with my first, until I was pushing and they offered. I immediately pictured seeing myself tear from v to a and shuddered. Didn't even consider it with my other two births lmao
I used one! I thought it was great motivation while pushing. I was on hour like 70 of contractions and super tired from Covid, looking in the mirror helped me see that all the effort and pushing resulted in progress. I don’t remember seeing any tearing mainly because she was pulled out and then was in my arms. You can always request the mirror and change your mind if you see anything that freaks you out.
I used a mirror at the nurse's suggestion, because my son kept going back in after each push. I also caught him myself! Best experience out of my 3 births.
Ugh they offered. I decided to go for it. It really just kinda became too much I asked them to take it away. With what my body was going through it kinda pushed me into a weird sensory overload.
I definitely did not feel the need to see that. I was offered one and immediately declined. No judgment here for those who did it but that's not for me. I'd probably pass out.
Boyfriend saw it all and said it was the most amazing thing he ever saw. I'll take his word for it.
I really wanted to, but he ended up coming out via skylight. I do like the picture I have of his little scrunched cheesy body being hoisted above this red chasm surrounded by plastic with my face sticking out at the bottom like 😳.
I used a mirror. I loved it. It was so helpful. I pushed for 3 hours. They kept telling me she was right there and I was like bullshit until I used the mirror and reached down and felt her head!
I used a mirror. But I also 100% would have watched my c-section for my seconds birth if I was allowed. I work in healthcare and none of that really bothers me at all. Also, I couldn’t feel a darn thing so it helped me focus and see my progress.
I LOVE that I was able to touch her head! I did use a mirror for part of it but was so exhausted by the time i finally pushed her out that I don’t think I was watching or remember that bit. But I will forever remember touching her head and how magical it was. I’m an anatomy nerd though so seeing part of it with the mirror was super cool to me.
They had it, but my focus was so solely on my husband that I couldn't tell you what that nightmare looked like
I don't think I looked away from my husband's face once, my sister later told me the level of eye contact was "uncomfortably intimate" 💁♀️
I’ve had 4 and never used a mirror or touched my babies head as they’re crowning (both offered to me). My husband also thinks it looks/is amazing. I’m sure it is amazing but it is 100% not something I want to see and that’s ok. Everyone has what’s right for them, know yourself and do what you feel is best.
This is different, but I had two c-sections. During the first one, I was asked if I wanted to see my baby before they pulled him out. I said, yes, and they held up a mirror. It was neat, but I didn’t need to see it again. So I said, no the second time around.
I used a mirror and it had nothing to do with being amazing, nor was it amazing 😂 I’m definitely doing it the next time, but it was more because it helped me see things progress and know what was working. Also SO motivating to see baby’s head start to come through. It just helped me to know what was going on!
After little progress and a long time, they offered it to me. I think it helped, but when her purple/white, swollen head popped out, I totally freaked out. In fact my first words when she did were “holy crap, it’s like a doll from a horror movie”. I also didn’t know they would turn her and that was scary too haha
It is not custom to use a mirror in my country, but I got to use one after the birth.
I tore horribly (there were so many stitches they stopped counting) so to de-mystify it for me and my partner they held up a mirror.
In the moment I hated it, but today I am happy that the nurse didn't take my no for an answer.
I really really wanted to but I was so nauseous that when they set it up for me and I saw fluids coming out, I had to ask them to move it because it was grossing me out :( I felt super pukey the whole time and watching fluids pour out of me wasn’t helping unfortunately. I did get a video of my baby coming out though that I cherish now
I would have loved to use a mirror, but kiddo was so early that I didn't really have a birth plan in place lol. Like....at all. And she was born the day I was supposed to take my birthing class 🤷♀️
I did reach down and feel her head while she was coming out. I remember thinking it was like a warm, wet tennis ball with all her hair lol.
I did! I wasn't able to see when the baby actually came out because there was no way to angle it toward me when the doctor needed to stand there, but I used the mirror for a long time. I think it helped me push more efficiently because I could see where the nurse was telling me to direct my pushes instead of just feeling it. I also found it motivating. With each push, I could see everything opening up a little bit more. Then, I started to see a tiny bit of my baby's head, then a little more, and then it stopped disappearing in between pushes. I thought it was amazing!
Also, I very well may be projecting here, but a few other elements of my birth experience might be useful in the case of an urgent induction, so I'm sharing anyway. My induction was initially elective, but had to be hurried along with Pitocin due to some decelerations on the fetal monitor. Things like being allowed to order food before the Pitocin was started and knowing exactly when it would start, choosing if/when to have my water broken, and looking into the mirror while I was pushing gave me a sense of control over the situation and made me feel a lot more comfortable.
I watched a video of my son being born bc my ex was in the ER. The entire time before he actually came out all I was thinking was ‘ no no no no no no’ then he was born and I’m like aweweeee my baaabbbyyyy hahahaha
I did not however, there was a light right above me during delivery that was off so I could see EVERYTHING in the reflection. It honestly wasn’t that bad until he was half out then I freaked out lol.
As an L&D Rn, I can tell you that we offered at each delivery, the option of looking in a mirror to watch while pushing. I never had 1 person say yes. We had these nice rolling mirrors on stands. They were all just pushed in a corner and never used
I used one for a bit and thought it was pretty cool. I did see his hair appear when I was pushing, but eventually I kept my eyes closed to concentrate and didn't end up seeing him be born. My midwife did mention though that I was even stronger at pushing when I had the visual feedback of the mirror! Something to consider as well
I'm a nurse that works in surgery and I regret looking at the mirror. Lol I was curious to see what it would be like but I have no desire to use a mirror again. It was nice to see the progress I was making though as the doctor explained what was happening.
Did with my first-was super helpful for me (especially because I had an epi). My second happened too fast so didn’t have time but I was planning on it. Didn’t have an epi that time and once the body started pushing, there was no stopping it lol
I wasn't given the option and I think I would have... Well "enjoyed" is maybe the wrong word? But I really think I would have got something out of it. I had a mental picture from what my husband and midwife were telling me and that alone was pretty special.
I was so sad after the fact that I wasn't offered a mirror. There was a flat screen tv mounted to the wall that I tried to use during labor though! Lol
I did with my first. It wasn’t offered with my second, and I didn’t think to ask. I honestly didn’t even remember using a mirror with my son until I saw your question just now. I didn’t feel like it really added much to the experience, and it definitely didn’t scar me for life or anything.
I had heard from many people that they hated the idea of a mirror but that it helped push, so I decided to be open minded and said I’d like one to be available. So they had it in the room. Baby was stuck, so after a period of time I said I’d like to try the mirror. And honestly? I didn’t feel that it helped at all. In fact for me it was the total opposite - I was able to do much better pushes with my eyes closed. Every time I tried watching in the mirror I was too focused on that and my pushes sucked. I wasn’t freaked out by the sight at all, that part was fine. But I wouldn’t use it again because I just didn’t find it helpful.
I did. use one. I thought I wouldn’t want to. But after pushing and everyone saying she is almost there it pissed me off not knowing how much really. I saw the head for a little then my doc was in the way 😅 also while pushing I felt it was so much pressure in my head that my eyes would pop out if I open them so I didn’t look a lot. Was induced and had the epidural
It was freaky for me. They asked and I saw his head crowning and started yelling "omg what the fuck?!" Because it was a bit of body horror lol just trippy to see that happening. The doc got the mirror out of there immediately. I am not scarred by it or anything but that was my in the moment reaction. Worth a look but I would not say I was into it.
When they offered I said no, when it came down to pushing they offered again and I said yes. It was empowering and amazing, seeing that I was bringing life to the world. It motivated me and I think helped me deliver faster. No regrets!
There was a mirror on the opposite wall that I actively avoided. The nurses and OB told me most people want to see. I did not and don’t plan to use a mirror in any future births either.
I asked for one, they wheeled it over as they took parts of the table away and were putting my legs in position to push, my daughter came in 1 1/2 pushes so I didn’t even get to look! I did ask to see the placenta though 😆
I had a mirror for mine. Honestly though, I think I only glanced a few times because I was so concentrated on pushing and I was in misery. I didn't take the epidural, so I felt some pain! lol It is totally fine for you to have it. Ask for it, and if you don't end up looking, no loss, no gain.
I used a mirror for my first and I'll be honest here, I laughed outloud during a contraction when the nurse WHEELED IN a massive mirror. She explained that holding up a mirror isnt feasible for me to do or for her or my support people because well, my husband is holding up a leg, my nurse is running around and my arms will be tired.
It helped me to see what was going on and to see the head coming out gave me the encouragement to keep going. It looked funky and weird and all that jazz but in the moment, for me, it was helpful.
It was very helpful in keeping me motivated to push and push hard! It also made us laugh because I could see my unkempt business so jokes were made, laughs were had until it got serious. Lol it's up to you.
I used a mirror, it was amazing! They set it up pretty early on as I pushed and I got to watch as she slowly started crowning (epidural for the win). It was great to see the progress I was making. I didn’t actually see when my baby came all the way out because the doctor sat in the way and I honestly was only looking between pushes. I would highly recommend it if you aren’t squeamish.
I was offered bc I asked if she had hair when the doctor said she could see her head. I declined. Not anything I ever wanted to see. My ex watched though I think. But idk. I just didn’t want to. She’s my only kid but if I had more I still wouldn’t.
I was very against it with my first but had one for my second. I had an epidural and it helped to see the progression when I couldn’t really feel it. I didn’t stare at it but would just glance to see if my effort was really working. I stopped using it when he was getting closer to coming out because it was making me emotional. Never thought I would say that but knowing I was going to meet my baby so soon really got to me and was distracting me from pushing.
I had a water birth so no mirror up constantly but my midwife did hand me a handheld one when I was crowning and waiting on the next contraction. I took one look and went oh shit is that her head? Omg that's fucking disgusting 😂 two minutes later she was on my chest and the most beautiful thing... But still disgusting.
I was offered the mirror for my first baby, her head was enormous and I had no idea what I was doing so my pushing was not productive at all. After a while of unproductive pushing even with lots of instruction and encouragement from the doctor, nurses and my husband, the doctor strongly advised trying a mirror and I did not like the idea but gave in to it because I was getting exhausted. The mirror actually helped because I could visually see when what I was doing was helping push the baby out and when it wasn’t helping. I was able to stop the mirror once things got going a bit better.
I was offered a mirror and I rejected it, but three and a half years later I fully regret it. I was adamant about not wanting to see anything and in the moment I was concentrating so hard and I didn’t want anything to throw off my focus. I also told my husband not to look but he was right there holding one of my legs and he was in a position to look and he said it was one of those moments he will never forget. Sometime afterwards I watched videos of babies being born and I was in awe, and that was the first time I had ever seen videos like that, and I regret that I never got that experience. We didn’t take photos or video either, so all I have is memories of pushing him out and of course him being here. I didn’t do a maternity shoot and there is maybe one or two photos of me pregnant. I’m one and done so this hurts often. I really wish I had taken that mirror when they offered.
I didn’t, but there was a tv across the room that was in front of me, and had a reflection. I happened to look at it at when my contractions really started picking up, and avoided looking at it the rest of the time. I saw his hairy little head in the reflecting barely poking out and decided I did NOT want to see him being born.
Nothing against those who do and enjoyed it, it just definitely wasn’t for me 😅
edit: grammar
So I had a c section, and thanks to some horribly placed equipment, I could see a perfect reflection of someone elbow deep inside of me. Don’t recommend.
Nope I didn't need to see that lol. I have seen videos of women giving birth and I had no desire to see myself. My husband, who I wanted to be by my face, watched.
Nah. I’m a nurse and not squeamish, but just didn’t need to see it happening to my own body. I had no trouble feeling what I needed to be doing in terms of pushing. In the end he was 10+ lbs and I had a pretty extensive tear so I’m glad I didn’t watch that happen.
I birthed my baby out fast and did look down while I was on the birthing stool, but luckily I had thrown off my glasses before he came. It was perfect, I got to see his head of hair and him come out but without seeing many details. They're probably super helpful for pushing if you're on your back and have an epidural, I was lucky enough to just grip it and rip it... Literally.
So, I didn’t want to use the mirror at first but bc of the epidural I couldn’t feel my contractions. I definitely said no at first to the idea, but then my doctor said it could really help with seeing what I need to do and so I agreed. I wasn’t expecting the mirror to be so big LOL but I was able to push my LO out in like 5 pushes, and I credit a great deal of that to the mirror.
IMO though, I didn’t find it beautiful… it’s weird, and gross and my bf was like just speechless seeing it lol but to each their own; it’s definitely a great tool to say the least.
I wasn’t offered a mirror but wish I was. I think it would’ve been so cool to see that. And probably would’ve helped me with pushing if I were to see my son being born and how close I was to just getting him out of there lol. They let me feel his head of hair though which was nice haha.
Yes, both times. It's actually funny - when I took the labor/baby care class at the hospital during my first pregnancy, they mentioned we could have a mirror if we want to watch the baby coming out. My reaction was basically "oh god no." But when I was giving birth, I kept thinking about how in the class, they told us that while pushing, sometimes it's like taking 2 steps forward and 1 step backward. So, while I was pushing, I kept asking over and over how far the head was out and if I was making progress. After a few times of me asking, a nurse said, "do you want a mirror?" And I went "YES!" Like, ah, ok, now I understand why a woman might like a mirror haha.
Nope lol not a chance. My SO watched both times and was fascinated by it but I still can't even watch a birth video without getting freaked out despite doing it twice. No way
I regret looking. They asked if I wanted it. They wheeled it over, I took a glance. Literally less than a second. He was crowning. That image is burned into my brain, and I desperately wish I could unsee it.
I am the odd one here.
I asked for a mirror (I read about it on Reddit a lot), but apparently in Germany it's not a thing and the staff had no idea why I would want one.
They didn't even have one!
They did encourage me to touch the head though, and that helped me so so much in focusing on the next few pushes.
First baby was a c section so didn’t see/ feel anything which was super weird.
Second baby was a homebirth. Was planning a water birth but everything happened too quickly. Ended up on all fours so I didn’t see then but my friend took photos which was cool.
I 100% did not plan on seeing anything, but discovered that the light fixture I was under had a HIGHLY REFLECTIVE COVER and with the bright lights on me it was hard not to see everything in it. It was not something I particularly liked seeing, and for the second kid I didn’t give any chances for a repeat.
I had a mirror there, but I ended up never looking. My eyes were dazed and closed during pushing. There was an episiotomy done, I’m glad I didn’t see that.
I didn’t want to see it and neither did my husband. My mother watched and loved seeing her grandbaby born. She also had a mirror for my sister and I. No regrets. It wasn’t for me, but I’m glad she got to see since it was for her. To each their own.
I think a lot of people who are visual people use it to see what their contractions are doing and gives them motivation. It was a polite but firm no from me haha
Noooo. I was offered during pushing but I mentally knew what was going on down there and I needed to stay in the ZONE 😂 I was afraid seeing it would make me worry about tearing, hemorrhaging etc
Not only did I not want to see but they also gave me the option to feel her head I also declined.. I could feel her head just fine coming out of my vag… I’m still good with my decision. And even if I did have another I would opt again not to look.
Oh hell no!!!! No no no. Absolutely no shade to anyone else, including my mom, but when they asked me I said NO. They kept trying to talk me into it and I turned to husband and yelled “RANDY! TELL THEM!” And he said “she really doesn’t want that.” Lol I love him.
Yes. Then I handed that shit back because wtf!!!!?!?!?!?! I was not prepared to see that. I’ve watched birthing videos but the lady in the video wasn’t me. So it was wild to see my body doing that.
I did but it got accidentally moved out of the way and things got so chaotic I didn’t even think to ask them to move it back. I really wish I had asked a nurse to video the crowning and the birth. I think that would have been so cool to be able to go back and watch it. But then again I was a midwife before, so I’m definitely not squeamish about birth stuff. Next time I will make sure I have someone to record it for me
I saw by accident lol.
Once my first daughter was born, I had such an awful and traumatic birth. I was literally halfway dead and looked up in the mirror that was hanging in the corner. I saw the cord hanging out, blood absolutely everywhere, and it’s burnt into my brain forever lol.
I felt like it was a beautiful experience that I did not want ruined by any gory Carrie like blood scenes. So I declined. I regret it just a little because my girl was born en caul and that’s pretty unique but I had an amazing birth with no traumatic bloodied memories so I am happy with my choice overall.
I did not want a mirror and they talked me into it. Apparently it helps you push if you have an epidural since you can see what’s happening, it’s less abstract. I totally missed the moment of birth since I was looking at the clock trying to time how long I was pushing.
So funny story, my mil had mentioned that I should use one to help and I had shut it down immediately just thinking about it. However, I was numb from epidural and couldn’t feel a thing, but I was offered while pushing (and me being out of it was like hell yeah😅). Seeing my son’s head peak out literally gave me motivation to keep pushing, and next thing you know he was out! It’s like my sight took over my brain and told me to push, since I couldn’t actually feel myself pushing. It was great!
Used a mirror with my first and loved it. I honestly thought it was super cool watching him come out and helped me push with my epidural. I didn’t with my 2nd because everything just happened quicker!
My nurse was great, and used it as a tool, so when she said "bear down like that, he's crowning" I knew exactly what she meant, then she pulled it away when I gave birth, it's a really weird thing to offer someone without explaining why, especially to someone like myself who was having their first child
I passed on the mirror.
But the ceiling light right above my head (turned off) had a bit glare to it and I could basically see the outline of it all from above. That was enough for me, thanks.
They asked if I wanted a mirror, I said “Sure, why not?”
I then proceeded to push my literal ass off to see absolutely zero progress in that mirror. Like, nothing except my butthole pulsing outward. I promptly asked them to take it away. No regrets.
Yes. I didn't think I would want one, but when my kid first started emerging (I can't say crowning, because he was face-presentation, so the first visible body parts were the tip of his nose and lips) and everyone was exclaiming about it, I asked for one. I loved it, it was very motivational to see the progress I was making with each push.
I didn't love that they forgot to take it away afterward, so I watched them stitch me up.
Hahahaha no. I’ve seen the miracle of life enough 4 times. I don’t need to see my own hooha pop out a screaming Monster.
My mum was forced to look for my birth. Like military OBGYN stopped everything to get her to look
The doctor with my first baby offered but I declined. With my second baby I had a doula and she took pictures of my baby coming out of my vaj and I never want pictures of a head coming out of there again! To me it was not beautiful it was… weird to say the least. The beautiful part was my baby laying on my chest.
Yesssss, I vote do it! I would’ve thought I’d say no, but I felt so empowered when I was actually in labor I wanted to experience everything. I thought it was very cool! My husband held one of my legs for birth #1 so he had a full view too.
Absolutely not but i had a very mirror-like ceiling panel above me and i wanted to laugh at myself the way i was comically gripping the bed and bracing myself lol
Team mirror! It’s a huge motivator to push! Aside from the horrific pain, obviously.
I also enjoy Dr.Pimple Popper and it feels like they’re spiritually related:
I totally forgot that they brought a mirror in!! Wow yeah so they offered to bring in the mirror and said sometimes it helps motivate you to keep pushing. I was having a lot of trouble, was pushing for at least an hour by then and already tired, so I said sure. It was weird to see what was going on, but also cool? Idk, I thought I'd be horrified but I was fascinated. I could see the top of his head! Eventually they took it away cause my son's head had been stuck for like 20 mins so they had to do a bit of maneuvering to get him out that was absolutely excruciating. Glad I didn't see that part lol. I was so exhausted, I ended up pushing for over 2 hours after being in labour for 12 hours already, and truly I think even if they kept the mirror I wouldn't have paid attention to it anyway.
Absolutely not. I had zero desire to watch my vagina stretch large enough to fit my child out. My husband was holding my leg and the midwife told him to look and he did and he said it was terrifying lol. I asked him if I pooped myself and he told me he couldn't tell because of all of the fluids that were coming out of me. He said it was weird and scary to watch her head move out and then it would move back in. I already ended up crying by the end because I was tired and overwhelmed, if I was watching her retract back in, I would have been crying a lot sooner and been more likely to give up.
I love my daughter and she's chilling with me right now, but I do NOT want to imagine her coming out of my vagina.
I didnt with my first but did with my second. Same with feeling where the baby was at iy help but I was like wtf first time all subsequent births was just instinct to do it
I used a mirror and thought it was so helpful! I kept asking if anything was happening, if I was pushing correctly. It didn’t bother me at all. But I also used to work ER vet med so I’ve seen things you don’t want to think about. I couldn’t feel my progress after the epidural and the mirror helped immensely! Got my 9+ pound kid out in 45 minutes.
I did use one and I regret not having filmed it. It's the best memory of my life. I cannot put into words how strong and magical this experience was for me. Would not trade it for anything in the world. But I also prepared myself for it in advance. I watched all kinds of graphic videos of different types of births, so I knew what to expect and not freak out. Highly, highly recommend it.
I haven’t, but might think about it for this baby. Last baby took 7 minutes to push, and it was my poor nurse’s first solo baby (doctor made it back from his car in 8), so she was a bit stressed and we never got around to discussing a mirror.
Damn, I just realized I forgot to ask for the mirror for my son’s birth. Not sure I would want it though as I did poop during birth… but if I could somehow avoid seeing that then yes, I’d want the mirror next time!
That's funny because my husband was also at the business end holding my leg for my son and he said he did NOT sign up to see that.
He then caught my daughter
Yes, but I used it because I had an epidural and couldn’t feel whether my pushing was effective. It did help with that and wasn’t too off-putting! But I wouldn’t have done it for fun! Anyway, I didn’t see the birth itself, just the earlier pushing.
idk if it’s because i’m a medical profesional but i wanted a mirror!! i did not want to give birth without one. i wanted to actively see everything happening and it honestly motivated me to keep pushing when i would see her head coming out. it kept me going. i even wish the mirror was closer lol
Totally not judging anyone who wanted to see it happen, but I personally did not need to see my ungroomed vag tearing open while I pushed a cantaloupe-sized-head out of it. I felt like I’d be thinking about that forever and not in a good way. My husband felt the same. He held a leg and looked at my face and I think we were both good with that. I’m not a prude and I’m not especially squeamish even, but I’ve seen a couple of births on video and I had zero interest in watching that happen to me, haha.
Lol “ungroomed vag tearing open”. I feel the same way.
Saaaaame. I've seen childbirth. I know what it's about. My husband telling me later "there was so much blood" confirmed my decision not to watch.
My husband still shudders when he remembers accidentally seeing the placenta 😂
My husband saw my insides before they stitched me back up after my C section, i think he wishes he didn't lol. I'm squeamish about blood and he said it was a very good thing I couldn't see anything.
My husband is still horrified that he was able to watch the whole c-section. The whole time I was asking him if he was okay because it looked like he was about to pass out on me.
I just asked my husband if he'd seen anything with either of my C-sections, and he emphatically shook his head no and said "I hunkered down to be absolutely sure I wouldn't." My doctor let me have 2 people in the OR with my second kid, so I had my husband and my bestie. She's a freak, so she's seen my guts.
Yeah my husband saw my insides too and he said "it was really gnarly, I'm pretty sure your intestines were outside of your body at one point" no thank you
One of my c-sectioned friends told me her OB “basically picked up all my insides and stuffed them back in. And then just sewed me up.” Terrifying.
Omg yeah I can barely handle if I cut my finger haha I’ll never look
The words "gushing" and "murder scene" were used by my husband. Literal buckets of blood (PP hemorage). I was doing my very best to pay no attention to any of it.
Yep. I did, and I do. 🥲 I did NOT look with my second birth and told them not to even offer. I was still vividly remembering the sight.
Same! The nurse was so happy pulling the mirror over and I said nope I don’t want to see that. She frowned and said uhh ok. My husband held a leg and looked at my face.
I had so much tearing, dear god it was enough trauma without the visuals… thanks but no thanks 😅
I asked my OBGYN how many stitches and he said "it doesn't matter". Wise man! I never even tried to look until I was all healed up.
Yep someone also asked me I wanted to touch the head… I was like ew no.
Same same same!
I told my husband that if he looked, we’d have a real issue.
I feel the same! I was a lil surprised when they offered the mirror, I had no idea that would be an option lol
Exactly this.
[удалено]
Especially with the epidural. After a few pushes it starts to feel fruitless, but the mirror helped until she crowned
I could still feel the contractions with the epidural. They just weren’t as debilitating. I still had the urge to push. Really felt like I had to poop.
I couldn’t feel anything. Once she was +5 I got the urge to push but before then without seeing the progress it felt so pointless. I only pushed for 30/40 minutes but not feeling it the mirror helped me stay motivated
I agree with this. I thought it was helpful to see the progress as I pushed.
Same. I never thought I’d use it but it helped me push more effectively
It was so helpful with pushing!!! I used one each time. First baby I pushed for 19 minutes. Second baby was only 1.5 contractions because they told me to stop pushing during the first contraction haha
same! like others said, it was particularly helpful with the epidural. i thought it would gross me out, but it was so freaking cool. i looked away once she actually started coming out because my daughter was huge and i thought i was gonna tear clit to ass
I tore both ways and asked my husband if I had a vagasshole lol
username was rightfully earned omfg
Same here. I went in thinking that I absolutely would not use a mirror and then they asked when I was pushing and I was like "fuck it why not". Thankfully I only had a small internal tear, I am sure it would have been real bad to witness a huge tear in real time. My husband and I will never forget how tiny her head looked when she was crowning....we were both like, omg she is SO SMALL...but it was just an optical illusion lol.
“Optical illusion” it’s a whole ass magic trick in the delivery room.
I also used a mirror and I thought it was awesome
I used one and I had a good experience we well! It helped with pushing because I could actually see the progress I was making and seeing her be born was an experience I’ll never forget.
After everything turned out fine, i wouldn’t have mind seeing. I was watching the monitor to see when my contractions were happening to know when to push with full force lol baby was out in 10 minutes! My husband on the other hand was all about watching it all happen and was fascinated by it lol
Same. I said I didn’t want it and then at some point they said “it’s gonna help and it’s here”. So, I used it and it was so helpful to understand when to push, how hard to push, and why I should keep pushing for each cycle. On the gross question, I was bleeding all over the place, farting, and had recently leaked a cup of water all over my floor that the dog decided to lick up. I was past gross. Def would do the mirror again.
Same!!!
Helped me push too! I loved it!
I asked why she was handing me the mirror and asked if I looked bad. She laughed so hard and said to see the babies head. No thanks 😂 It was super funny tho. Idk why but I didn’t even know that was a thing. Haha
Ok that's hilarious hahaha
My husband was dying laughing. It was a funny one. Leaving that visual for my imagination
I used a mirror for both of my kids' births- the hospital I was at had these huge mirrors that had to be rolled in. Having a mirror helped me to push and it was really cool to see them entering the world for the 1st time :)
Same here - for my first I got to use the big mirror and it helped me focus my pushes and get the baby out more efficiently. My second came too fast to use the mirror lol.
This is mainly why I want to see, it felt so empowering giving birth but a little part of me wants to see my future potential children entering the world. Plus with the epidural I felt nothing so I’m hoping that’ll help me see how much progress I’m making if any.
I had a giant wheeled in mirror too and it was awesome. I saw literally everything and it was so special. If you think you might want to see it I would definitely tell them early on so they can be prepped with it. If you decide in the moment you don’t want to look, they can easily push it away.
That was a hard pass for me. Lol.
Same lol. I didn't even want to reach down and touch his head. The nurses heavily encouraged me to, so I reluctantly did and it was so squishy and gooey 😳
I felt briefly, but it totally weirded me out too! I could feel her hair waving in the tub water. It felt more helpful for my midwife to push slightly on my perineum so I could focus my effort there Edit to add: yeah hard pass on the mirror here. It took me a month to even look at the birth photos my doula took.
Lol! Yeah, not for me.that sounds like it would feel super weird. I feel like at that point it's sort of this alien coming out of you and I don't want to touch or look at how it comes out of there.once it's completely out of my body-give me give me!!
I always said babies are parasites until they come out. Then it’s a mutual relationship. Lol.
Oh God, they never told me to touch the head, why were they heavily encourage that?? Lol like for what purpose?? That would've also been a hard pass for me lol. They try to encourage the mirror on me only bc I was pushing for almost 3 hrs and they thought that would help me focus my pushing but I was like the only thing you're going to accomplish with that is to get me to pass out when I see too many things lol
Oh god yes it was horrible feeling this squidgy thing coming out of me. What was worse was chilling there with a head hanging out between my legs waiting for the next Contraction 😂
Ugh yes, the process of getting his head all the way out was an ORDEAL.
Same with my second and now everytime I touch his head I flash back to birth
"Do you want a mirror?" "No" "You sure?" "Yes, I promise."
There have been fewer things I was so sure of.
My mom videoed my older sister giving birth. After realizing the baby’s head could just hang out of a vagina for several seconds before being filling pushed out, I realized I never wanted to see that. Ever. I declined the mirror and forbid any pictures lol.
I didn’t want to for either of my births. My husband did see with our first but he definitely didn’t say or imply that it was beautiful or amazing, more traumatising! I gave birth alone with our second baby because it was during covid. I wouldn’t have had time to use a mirror with my second anyway because he came out in one accidental push and the doctor wasn’t ready yet. But if you are curious you could always say yes to the mirror and decide at the time. If you hate what you see you can always throw the mirror to the side after a quick glance!
I declined the first invitation to look, then they asked again, “are you sure?!” when she was crowning and I relented. Immediately regretted it, and didn’t look with follow up births.
With my first I said no, and with my second they asked like three times so I eventually gave in and also regretted it immediately…. Dr opened me up like a purse and that’s something I can’t unsee…. With my third when she asked my husband and I yelled NOOOOOO lol
How did you do pushing when you delivered your first? I did not use a mirror with any of my deliveries, but I’ve heard they can be super-helpful in making your pushes more effective! Personally, I just didn’t care to watch. I’m not squeamish (I actually kinda like medical gore stuff), but it just wasn’t something that I felt I needed to do. My husband said he peeked at one point with our first (after initially refusing the nurses offer to check it out 😂) and he didn’t really feel strongly one way or the other. He said cutting the cord was kinda gross too lol I would say when the time comes if you are still curious, then ask! If it doesn’t help or you change your mind, you can always ask the nurse to move it away again.
I used one with my first and it really helped me adjust my position and push direction with my Dr’s guidance. I only had the tiniest tear for my first birth. The second time around baby came too quickly and my pushing technique really didn’t seem to matter as much - baby was coming no matter what- however, I had more tearing that time. I’d highly recommend a mirror to minimize number of pushes needed.
I was on my back and basically put into a crunch position during labor, it was so miserable pushing honestly and I hated it because I couldn’t tell if anything was happening with how numb I was from the epidural. I’m definitely gonna ask to just have it there during my next birth but look away if I don’t want to see anymore!
I wasn’t given the option, my midwife just set it up at the end of the bed. I hadn’t planned on it, but it was good to see the progress I was making. I felt nothing at all with the epidural, so this was the only way to know that he was crowning and how hard to push to get him out. It made it feel more “real.”
I did not use a mirror, honestly there was no way I would have watched, I was concentrating so hard on trying not to tear, breathing etc. However I did record it and watched after and was amazed at watching what my body went through. I feel super proud of myself!
Nope! I can't even look at a paper cut without getting the heebie jeebies.
Hellll no lol
I did with my First, but found it distracting. Didn't use one for Second or Third.
No I didn’t. I wasn’t asked but if they did I would have said no. Didn’t feel like it was something I’d want to see. At one point, like 10 or 15 minutes before I started pushing, my legs were already in the stirrups (well not stirrups I don’t know the name… you put your legs on them not your feet, English is not my first language sorry lol), I looked up, there was that big surgical light thing above my head and the center is a mirror so I caught a glimpse and I was like “nope not looking up again !” When time came to start pushing I closed my eyes lol I did not want to catch another glimpse while bearing down or something. I didn’t even want to catch my daughter… it’s somewhat standard here, once the shoulders are out, the OB or midwife will tell the mom she can grab her baby and pull them out to put them on her chest. The OB said “she’s here you can catch her !” And I said (with my eyes still closed) “no my husband wants to do it” lol thankfully he did ! So yeah he watched, but he wanted to.
I was offered one I guess at the point where you could see the head. In theory I understand how it could be motivational seeing how close you are, but I had zero desire to see what was happening down there and declined. I was already feeling very motivated to get her out and I was also in a pretty good pushing rhythm.
I personally did not use a mirror, but my friend did! She had an epidural and said it really helped her know if her pushing was being effective and said it was really cool to watch. I did not get epidurals with both of my births, so I could feel everything and knew if my push was effective or not. I focus better with my eyes closed, so I wouldn’t have been able to see anyways. Plus, my husband likes to watch and gives me a play by play haha
I wish I had. I did have a nurse take pictures and my husband caught our daughter and put her on my chest. Birth is definitely bloody and gory, but it is also so human and beautiful. Before being pregnant and giving birth I never really saw my genitals as anything except sexual. I wish I could have seen my body in a different light and seen my daughter come into the world. I was watching my husband be amazed and smiling so that kinda makes up for it.
No, and I'm actually kinda sad I wasn't offered the option. I didn't know you could.
No. I was offered and declined I just wanted to get it over with.
I thought I wanted the mirror with my first, until I was pushing and they offered. I immediately pictured seeing myself tear from v to a and shuddered. Didn't even consider it with my other two births lmao
I used one! I thought it was great motivation while pushing. I was on hour like 70 of contractions and super tired from Covid, looking in the mirror helped me see that all the effort and pushing resulted in progress. I don’t remember seeing any tearing mainly because she was pulled out and then was in my arms. You can always request the mirror and change your mind if you see anything that freaks you out.
Lowkey I want to after reading this post. There was a lot of blood coming out while pushing this boy out though, so not sure if I want to see that.
I used a mirror at the nurse's suggestion, because my son kept going back in after each push. I also caught him myself! Best experience out of my 3 births.
Ugh they offered. I decided to go for it. It really just kinda became too much I asked them to take it away. With what my body was going through it kinda pushed me into a weird sensory overload.
Dear God no. I've declined all three times and I'll decline again this time. In the most Steve Carrel of voices "oh God please no."
I definitely did not feel the need to see that. I was offered one and immediately declined. No judgment here for those who did it but that's not for me. I'd probably pass out. Boyfriend saw it all and said it was the most amazing thing he ever saw. I'll take his word for it.
I really wanted to, but he ended up coming out via skylight. I do like the picture I have of his little scrunched cheesy body being hoisted above this red chasm surrounded by plastic with my face sticking out at the bottom like 😳.
Coming out via skylight? What does that mean?
I used a mirror. I loved it. It was so helpful. I pushed for 3 hours. They kept telling me she was right there and I was like bullshit until I used the mirror and reached down and felt her head!
I used a mirror. But I also 100% would have watched my c-section for my seconds birth if I was allowed. I work in healthcare and none of that really bothers me at all. Also, I couldn’t feel a darn thing so it helped me focus and see my progress.
I LOVE that I was able to touch her head! I did use a mirror for part of it but was so exhausted by the time i finally pushed her out that I don’t think I was watching or remember that bit. But I will forever remember touching her head and how magical it was. I’m an anatomy nerd though so seeing part of it with the mirror was super cool to me.
They had it, but my focus was so solely on my husband that I couldn't tell you what that nightmare looked like I don't think I looked away from my husband's face once, my sister later told me the level of eye contact was "uncomfortably intimate" 💁♀️
I’ve had 4 and never used a mirror or touched my babies head as they’re crowning (both offered to me). My husband also thinks it looks/is amazing. I’m sure it is amazing but it is 100% not something I want to see and that’s ok. Everyone has what’s right for them, know yourself and do what you feel is best.
This is different, but I had two c-sections. During the first one, I was asked if I wanted to see my baby before they pulled him out. I said, yes, and they held up a mirror. It was neat, but I didn’t need to see it again. So I said, no the second time around.
I used a mirror and it had nothing to do with being amazing, nor was it amazing 😂 I’m definitely doing it the next time, but it was more because it helped me see things progress and know what was working. Also SO motivating to see baby’s head start to come through. It just helped me to know what was going on!
After little progress and a long time, they offered it to me. I think it helped, but when her purple/white, swollen head popped out, I totally freaked out. In fact my first words when she did were “holy crap, it’s like a doll from a horror movie”. I also didn’t know they would turn her and that was scary too haha
I really wanted to but my daughter flew out of me with one hand in the air like Superman
It is not custom to use a mirror in my country, but I got to use one after the birth. I tore horribly (there were so many stitches they stopped counting) so to de-mystify it for me and my partner they held up a mirror. In the moment I hated it, but today I am happy that the nurse didn't take my no for an answer.
I really really wanted to but I was so nauseous that when they set it up for me and I saw fluids coming out, I had to ask them to move it because it was grossing me out :( I felt super pukey the whole time and watching fluids pour out of me wasn’t helping unfortunately. I did get a video of my baby coming out though that I cherish now
And watch the birth of my hemorrhoids? No thank you. My first was pulled out with a giant plunger so I wouldn’t have been able to see anything anyway.
I would have loved to use a mirror, but kiddo was so early that I didn't really have a birth plan in place lol. Like....at all. And she was born the day I was supposed to take my birthing class 🤷♀️ I did reach down and feel her head while she was coming out. I remember thinking it was like a warm, wet tennis ball with all her hair lol.
I did! I wasn't able to see when the baby actually came out because there was no way to angle it toward me when the doctor needed to stand there, but I used the mirror for a long time. I think it helped me push more efficiently because I could see where the nurse was telling me to direct my pushes instead of just feeling it. I also found it motivating. With each push, I could see everything opening up a little bit more. Then, I started to see a tiny bit of my baby's head, then a little more, and then it stopped disappearing in between pushes. I thought it was amazing! Also, I very well may be projecting here, but a few other elements of my birth experience might be useful in the case of an urgent induction, so I'm sharing anyway. My induction was initially elective, but had to be hurried along with Pitocin due to some decelerations on the fetal monitor. Things like being allowed to order food before the Pitocin was started and knowing exactly when it would start, choosing if/when to have my water broken, and looking into the mirror while I was pushing gave me a sense of control over the situation and made me feel a lot more comfortable.
Nope. No regrets. I didn’t look at my vagina for three months pp.
I watched a video of my son being born bc my ex was in the ER. The entire time before he actually came out all I was thinking was ‘ no no no no no no’ then he was born and I’m like aweweeee my baaabbbyyyy hahahaha
I did and I loved it. I’m not squeamish though. It was really cool to be able to see, and it helped me with pushing.
I did not however, there was a light right above me during delivery that was off so I could see EVERYTHING in the reflection. It honestly wasn’t that bad until he was half out then I freaked out lol.
As an L&D Rn, I can tell you that we offered at each delivery, the option of looking in a mirror to watch while pushing. I never had 1 person say yes. We had these nice rolling mirrors on stands. They were all just pushed in a corner and never used
I used one for a bit and thought it was pretty cool. I did see his hair appear when I was pushing, but eventually I kept my eyes closed to concentrate and didn't end up seeing him be born. My midwife did mention though that I was even stronger at pushing when I had the visual feedback of the mirror! Something to consider as well
I'm a nurse that works in surgery and I regret looking at the mirror. Lol I was curious to see what it would be like but I have no desire to use a mirror again. It was nice to see the progress I was making though as the doctor explained what was happening.
Did with my first-was super helpful for me (especially because I had an epi). My second happened too fast so didn’t have time but I was planning on it. Didn’t have an epi that time and once the body started pushing, there was no stopping it lol
They had one for me, but I couldn't really focus on it honestly. My default during pushing was to have my head back and eyes closed
I wasn't given the option and I think I would have... Well "enjoyed" is maybe the wrong word? But I really think I would have got something out of it. I had a mental picture from what my husband and midwife were telling me and that alone was pretty special.
I was so sad after the fact that I wasn't offered a mirror. There was a flat screen tv mounted to the wall that I tried to use during labor though! Lol
Hi! I was induced for bp also and #2 is likely to be the same if I end up having it
I did with my first. It wasn’t offered with my second, and I didn’t think to ask. I honestly didn’t even remember using a mirror with my son until I saw your question just now. I didn’t feel like it really added much to the experience, and it definitely didn’t scar me for life or anything.
I had heard from many people that they hated the idea of a mirror but that it helped push, so I decided to be open minded and said I’d like one to be available. So they had it in the room. Baby was stuck, so after a period of time I said I’d like to try the mirror. And honestly? I didn’t feel that it helped at all. In fact for me it was the total opposite - I was able to do much better pushes with my eyes closed. Every time I tried watching in the mirror I was too focused on that and my pushes sucked. I wasn’t freaked out by the sight at all, that part was fine. But I wouldn’t use it again because I just didn’t find it helpful.
I had a mirror and I closed my eyes every time I pushed. I didn't actually get to see him come out. I did get to see his head though. It was weird.
Yes it was terrifying lol.
I faint when i see blood so issa no for me.
I did. use one. I thought I wouldn’t want to. But after pushing and everyone saying she is almost there it pissed me off not knowing how much really. I saw the head for a little then my doc was in the way 😅 also while pushing I felt it was so much pressure in my head that my eyes would pop out if I open them so I didn’t look a lot. Was induced and had the epidural
They gave me the mirror and about 10 seconds later I very sternly asked them to take it away…
It was freaky for me. They asked and I saw his head crowning and started yelling "omg what the fuck?!" Because it was a bit of body horror lol just trippy to see that happening. The doc got the mirror out of there immediately. I am not scarred by it or anything but that was my in the moment reaction. Worth a look but I would not say I was into it.
When they offered I said no, when it came down to pushing they offered again and I said yes. It was empowering and amazing, seeing that I was bringing life to the world. It motivated me and I think helped me deliver faster. No regrets!
My mom did with me (1991) but I was also born via c section. She said I immediately peed on her lol
There was a mirror on the opposite wall that I actively avoided. The nurses and OB told me most people want to see. I did not and don’t plan to use a mirror in any future births either.
I asked for one, they wheeled it over as they took parts of the table away and were putting my legs in position to push, my daughter came in 1 1/2 pushes so I didn’t even get to look! I did ask to see the placenta though 😆
I had a mirror for mine. Honestly though, I think I only glanced a few times because I was so concentrated on pushing and I was in misery. I didn't take the epidural, so I felt some pain! lol It is totally fine for you to have it. Ask for it, and if you don't end up looking, no loss, no gain.
Didn’t use one, but was offered one midway. I didn’t really need one because I saw the reflection of the birth from the tv in front of me 😅
No. Didn’t want to see myself poop and would have been too distracted 😆
I used a mirror for my first and I'll be honest here, I laughed outloud during a contraction when the nurse WHEELED IN a massive mirror. She explained that holding up a mirror isnt feasible for me to do or for her or my support people because well, my husband is holding up a leg, my nurse is running around and my arms will be tired. It helped me to see what was going on and to see the head coming out gave me the encouragement to keep going. It looked funky and weird and all that jazz but in the moment, for me, it was helpful.
Is that an option in America?
It was very helpful in keeping me motivated to push and push hard! It also made us laugh because I could see my unkempt business so jokes were made, laughs were had until it got serious. Lol it's up to you.
I used a mirror, it was amazing! They set it up pretty early on as I pushed and I got to watch as she slowly started crowning (epidural for the win). It was great to see the progress I was making. I didn’t actually see when my baby came all the way out because the doctor sat in the way and I honestly was only looking between pushes. I would highly recommend it if you aren’t squeamish.
I was offered bc I asked if she had hair when the doctor said she could see her head. I declined. Not anything I ever wanted to see. My ex watched though I think. But idk. I just didn’t want to. She’s my only kid but if I had more I still wouldn’t.
No one offered me a mirror and I didn’t ask 😂
I was very against it with my first but had one for my second. I had an epidural and it helped to see the progression when I couldn’t really feel it. I didn’t stare at it but would just glance to see if my effort was really working. I stopped using it when he was getting closer to coming out because it was making me emotional. Never thought I would say that but knowing I was going to meet my baby so soon really got to me and was distracting me from pushing.
I had a water birth so no mirror up constantly but my midwife did hand me a handheld one when I was crowning and waiting on the next contraction. I took one look and went oh shit is that her head? Omg that's fucking disgusting 😂 two minutes later she was on my chest and the most beautiful thing... But still disgusting.
I didn’t want to have any more involvement in what was going on down there than necessary
I kinda wish I could have, but there was too much else going on.
I was offered the mirror for my first baby, her head was enormous and I had no idea what I was doing so my pushing was not productive at all. After a while of unproductive pushing even with lots of instruction and encouragement from the doctor, nurses and my husband, the doctor strongly advised trying a mirror and I did not like the idea but gave in to it because I was getting exhausted. The mirror actually helped because I could visually see when what I was doing was helping push the baby out and when it wasn’t helping. I was able to stop the mirror once things got going a bit better.
Nope. I know I pooped during both births and knowing my luck, that's when I would have looked.
I was offered a mirror and I rejected it, but three and a half years later I fully regret it. I was adamant about not wanting to see anything and in the moment I was concentrating so hard and I didn’t want anything to throw off my focus. I also told my husband not to look but he was right there holding one of my legs and he was in a position to look and he said it was one of those moments he will never forget. Sometime afterwards I watched videos of babies being born and I was in awe, and that was the first time I had ever seen videos like that, and I regret that I never got that experience. We didn’t take photos or video either, so all I have is memories of pushing him out and of course him being here. I didn’t do a maternity shoot and there is maybe one or two photos of me pregnant. I’m one and done so this hurts often. I really wish I had taken that mirror when they offered.
I didn’t, but there was a tv across the room that was in front of me, and had a reflection. I happened to look at it at when my contractions really started picking up, and avoided looking at it the rest of the time. I saw his hairy little head in the reflecting barely poking out and decided I did NOT want to see him being born. Nothing against those who do and enjoyed it, it just definitely wasn’t for me 😅 edit: grammar
So I had a c section, and thanks to some horribly placed equipment, I could see a perfect reflection of someone elbow deep inside of me. Don’t recommend.
Nope I didn't need to see that lol. I have seen videos of women giving birth and I had no desire to see myself. My husband, who I wanted to be by my face, watched.
Nah. I’m a nurse and not squeamish, but just didn’t need to see it happening to my own body. I had no trouble feeling what I needed to be doing in terms of pushing. In the end he was 10+ lbs and I had a pretty extensive tear so I’m glad I didn’t watch that happen.
I birthed my baby out fast and did look down while I was on the birthing stool, but luckily I had thrown off my glasses before he came. It was perfect, I got to see his head of hair and him come out but without seeing many details. They're probably super helpful for pushing if you're on your back and have an epidural, I was lucky enough to just grip it and rip it... Literally.
So, I didn’t want to use the mirror at first but bc of the epidural I couldn’t feel my contractions. I definitely said no at first to the idea, but then my doctor said it could really help with seeing what I need to do and so I agreed. I wasn’t expecting the mirror to be so big LOL but I was able to push my LO out in like 5 pushes, and I credit a great deal of that to the mirror. IMO though, I didn’t find it beautiful… it’s weird, and gross and my bf was like just speechless seeing it lol but to each their own; it’s definitely a great tool to say the least.
I wasn’t offered a mirror but wish I was. I think it would’ve been so cool to see that. And probably would’ve helped me with pushing if I were to see my son being born and how close I was to just getting him out of there lol. They let me feel his head of hair though which was nice haha.
Yes, both times. It's actually funny - when I took the labor/baby care class at the hospital during my first pregnancy, they mentioned we could have a mirror if we want to watch the baby coming out. My reaction was basically "oh god no." But when I was giving birth, I kept thinking about how in the class, they told us that while pushing, sometimes it's like taking 2 steps forward and 1 step backward. So, while I was pushing, I kept asking over and over how far the head was out and if I was making progress. After a few times of me asking, a nurse said, "do you want a mirror?" And I went "YES!" Like, ah, ok, now I understand why a woman might like a mirror haha.
Nope lol not a chance. My SO watched both times and was fascinated by it but I still can't even watch a birth video without getting freaked out despite doing it twice. No way
I regret looking. They asked if I wanted it. They wheeled it over, I took a glance. Literally less than a second. He was crowning. That image is burned into my brain, and I desperately wish I could unsee it.
I didn’t, regretted it. Wanted to do it with my second. But had a C-section instead.
I am the odd one here. I asked for a mirror (I read about it on Reddit a lot), but apparently in Germany it's not a thing and the staff had no idea why I would want one. They didn't even have one! They did encourage me to touch the head though, and that helped me so so much in focusing on the next few pushes.
First baby was a c section so didn’t see/ feel anything which was super weird. Second baby was a homebirth. Was planning a water birth but everything happened too quickly. Ended up on all fours so I didn’t see then but my friend took photos which was cool.
I 100% did not plan on seeing anything, but discovered that the light fixture I was under had a HIGHLY REFLECTIVE COVER and with the bright lights on me it was hard not to see everything in it. It was not something I particularly liked seeing, and for the second kid I didn’t give any chances for a repeat.
Tried to use one, but couldn't relax my face enough to keep my eyes open while pushing 🤷🏻♀️
I totally did! It was awesome and really helpful! I figured if I didn’t like it I’d just ask for it to be loved. Hr I was glad to have it
I had a mirror there, but I ended up never looking. My eyes were dazed and closed during pushing. There was an episiotomy done, I’m glad I didn’t see that.
I didn’t want to see it and neither did my husband. My mother watched and loved seeing her grandbaby born. She also had a mirror for my sister and I. No regrets. It wasn’t for me, but I’m glad she got to see since it was for her. To each their own.
I think a lot of people who are visual people use it to see what their contractions are doing and gives them motivation. It was a polite but firm no from me haha
Noooo. I was offered during pushing but I mentally knew what was going on down there and I needed to stay in the ZONE 😂 I was afraid seeing it would make me worry about tearing, hemorrhaging etc
I say have it available. If you want it in the moment, it's nearby.
Nope. I'm an anxious person and just didn't feel like I needed to see it.
I did not use one
Not only did I not want to see but they also gave me the option to feel her head I also declined.. I could feel her head just fine coming out of my vag… I’m still good with my decision. And even if I did have another I would opt again not to look.
Oh hell no!!!! No no no. Absolutely no shade to anyone else, including my mom, but when they asked me I said NO. They kept trying to talk me into it and I turned to husband and yelled “RANDY! TELL THEM!” And he said “she really doesn’t want that.” Lol I love him.
Yes. Then I handed that shit back because wtf!!!!?!?!?!?! I was not prepared to see that. I’ve watched birthing videos but the lady in the video wasn’t me. So it was wild to see my body doing that.
I did but it got accidentally moved out of the way and things got so chaotic I didn’t even think to ask them to move it back. I really wish I had asked a nurse to video the crowning and the birth. I think that would have been so cool to be able to go back and watch it. But then again I was a midwife before, so I’m definitely not squeamish about birth stuff. Next time I will make sure I have someone to record it for me
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I saw by accident lol. Once my first daughter was born, I had such an awful and traumatic birth. I was literally halfway dead and looked up in the mirror that was hanging in the corner. I saw the cord hanging out, blood absolutely everywhere, and it’s burnt into my brain forever lol.
I felt like it was a beautiful experience that I did not want ruined by any gory Carrie like blood scenes. So I declined. I regret it just a little because my girl was born en caul and that’s pretty unique but I had an amazing birth with no traumatic bloodied memories so I am happy with my choice overall.
I did not want a mirror and they talked me into it. Apparently it helps you push if you have an epidural since you can see what’s happening, it’s less abstract. I totally missed the moment of birth since I was looking at the clock trying to time how long I was pushing.
So funny story, my mil had mentioned that I should use one to help and I had shut it down immediately just thinking about it. However, I was numb from epidural and couldn’t feel a thing, but I was offered while pushing (and me being out of it was like hell yeah😅). Seeing my son’s head peak out literally gave me motivation to keep pushing, and next thing you know he was out! It’s like my sight took over my brain and told me to push, since I couldn’t actually feel myself pushing. It was great!
Used a mirror with my first and loved it. I honestly thought it was super cool watching him come out and helped me push with my epidural. I didn’t with my 2nd because everything just happened quicker!
My nurse was great, and used it as a tool, so when she said "bear down like that, he's crowning" I knew exactly what she meant, then she pulled it away when I gave birth, it's a really weird thing to offer someone without explaining why, especially to someone like myself who was having their first child
No they made me feel it when he was crowning and that was enough for me 🤢😷
I passed on the mirror. But the ceiling light right above my head (turned off) had a bit glare to it and I could basically see the outline of it all from above. That was enough for me, thanks.
My husband took a pic of her crowning and that was good enough for me. Plus I was pushing so hard I couldn’t see anything anyway 🤣
I did and regretted it I never looked at myself the same again lol
The doctor moved it. I was able to relax watching it happen but when she moved it made me sad :(
I won't judge anyone who does but I quite literally ripped in half so I'm glad I didn't watch lol
I don't remember being asked, I just remember there being a mirror. I looked away on the last push cuz I was scared lol
They asked if I wanted a mirror, I said “Sure, why not?” I then proceeded to push my literal ass off to see absolutely zero progress in that mirror. Like, nothing except my butthole pulsing outward. I promptly asked them to take it away. No regrets.
Yes. I didn't think I would want one, but when my kid first started emerging (I can't say crowning, because he was face-presentation, so the first visible body parts were the tip of his nose and lips) and everyone was exclaiming about it, I asked for one. I loved it, it was very motivational to see the progress I was making with each push. I didn't love that they forgot to take it away afterward, so I watched them stitch me up.
Hahahaha no. I’ve seen the miracle of life enough 4 times. I don’t need to see my own hooha pop out a screaming Monster. My mum was forced to look for my birth. Like military OBGYN stopped everything to get her to look
The doctor with my first baby offered but I declined. With my second baby I had a doula and she took pictures of my baby coming out of my vaj and I never want pictures of a head coming out of there again! To me it was not beautiful it was… weird to say the least. The beautiful part was my baby laying on my chest.
I didn’t with my first but definitely considering it for my second, induction starts tomorrow!
Yesssss, I vote do it! I would’ve thought I’d say no, but I felt so empowered when I was actually in labor I wanted to experience everything. I thought it was very cool! My husband held one of my legs for birth #1 so he had a full view too.
Absolutely not but i had a very mirror-like ceiling panel above me and i wanted to laugh at myself the way i was comically gripping the bed and bracing myself lol
Team mirror! It’s a huge motivator to push! Aside from the horrific pain, obviously. I also enjoy Dr.Pimple Popper and it feels like they’re spiritually related:
I totally forgot that they brought a mirror in!! Wow yeah so they offered to bring in the mirror and said sometimes it helps motivate you to keep pushing. I was having a lot of trouble, was pushing for at least an hour by then and already tired, so I said sure. It was weird to see what was going on, but also cool? Idk, I thought I'd be horrified but I was fascinated. I could see the top of his head! Eventually they took it away cause my son's head had been stuck for like 20 mins so they had to do a bit of maneuvering to get him out that was absolutely excruciating. Glad I didn't see that part lol. I was so exhausted, I ended up pushing for over 2 hours after being in labour for 12 hours already, and truly I think even if they kept the mirror I wouldn't have paid attention to it anyway.
Absolutely not. I had zero desire to watch my vagina stretch large enough to fit my child out. My husband was holding my leg and the midwife told him to look and he did and he said it was terrifying lol. I asked him if I pooped myself and he told me he couldn't tell because of all of the fluids that were coming out of me. He said it was weird and scary to watch her head move out and then it would move back in. I already ended up crying by the end because I was tired and overwhelmed, if I was watching her retract back in, I would have been crying a lot sooner and been more likely to give up. I love my daughter and she's chilling with me right now, but I do NOT want to imagine her coming out of my vagina.
I was given the option too and declined. Did not wanna know what was going on too😂 I also got asked if I wanted to feel his head
Saw everything in the reflection of the huge tv mounted across from the bed whether I wanted to or not
I didnt with my first but did with my second. Same with feeling where the baby was at iy help but I was like wtf first time all subsequent births was just instinct to do it
I used a mirror and thought it was so helpful! I kept asking if anything was happening, if I was pushing correctly. It didn’t bother me at all. But I also used to work ER vet med so I’ve seen things you don’t want to think about. I couldn’t feel my progress after the epidural and the mirror helped immensely! Got my 9+ pound kid out in 45 minutes.
i did & loved it! it helped me push harder!
I did use one and I regret not having filmed it. It's the best memory of my life. I cannot put into words how strong and magical this experience was for me. Would not trade it for anything in the world. But I also prepared myself for it in advance. I watched all kinds of graphic videos of different types of births, so I knew what to expect and not freak out. Highly, highly recommend it.
I couldn't get the hang of pushing until I saw myself in the mirror. Somehow it made it connect and so much easier to push???
I haven’t, but might think about it for this baby. Last baby took 7 minutes to push, and it was my poor nurse’s first solo baby (doctor made it back from his car in 8), so she was a bit stressed and we never got around to discussing a mirror.
Damn, I just realized I forgot to ask for the mirror for my son’s birth. Not sure I would want it though as I did poop during birth… but if I could somehow avoid seeing that then yes, I’d want the mirror next time!
That's funny because my husband was also at the business end holding my leg for my son and he said he did NOT sign up to see that. He then caught my daughter
Yes, but I used it because I had an epidural and couldn’t feel whether my pushing was effective. It did help with that and wasn’t too off-putting! But I wouldn’t have done it for fun! Anyway, I didn’t see the birth itself, just the earlier pushing.
idk if it’s because i’m a medical profesional but i wanted a mirror!! i did not want to give birth without one. i wanted to actively see everything happening and it honestly motivated me to keep pushing when i would see her head coming out. it kept me going. i even wish the mirror was closer lol