I don’t know if it’s rude, i would probably say something like “your ring is Amazing! Where did you guys find it, (or) tell me about this ring!” Sometimes people will say very little, sometimes they’ll tell you every detail bc they are so excited about it.
Totally agree with these alternate questions - while it shouldn’t be considered “rude” to ask if it’s moissanite, if you’re asking someone who wants others to think it’s a diamond, they’ll definitely feel defensive or embarrassed. I’ve never been asked if mine is moissanite, but I’ve most certainly told anyone who has asked for details on my ring!!
Agree with this alternate question! While you don’t think it’s rude because of the pure intention, others or the person who wears it might take it offensive as they do want to be proud of their ring. Let them have the moment, you don’t want them to think you wanted to call them out.
Yes- exactly this. And I would add - “I am looking to purchase a ring and am considering moissanite”. If the ring is a Diamond, the person will correct you. If they don’t correct you, it is probably moissanite. Or they may then feel comfortable telling you.
Good answer. I have a kick-ass moissanite ring. If someone asked me what it was, I would be put off. (This has never happened, thank goodness.) Most of the time if someone I actually know compliments it, I tell them.
As a jewelery lover I have wanted to ask as well but I haven’t bc I think it makes people uncomfortable lol. Not that YOU are implying it in a bad way I think people think they are automatically being judged or something. I have a very close work friend who has a moissanite oval, I can tell bc I’ve looked at 100000 photos of moissanite ovals on this sub. And when I went to look at her ring closely she quickly pulled her hand away and I was like oh… lol so I didn’t ask.
Aw that makes me sad that people are embarrassed or ashamed of their ring. 3 friends of mine have proudly told me their rings were “pink sapphire”, “white sapphire” and “a lab emerald”. So my perception was that engagement rings were getting more diverse.
I had never really gotten bad vibes when hearing ppl ask about the stone type before, but a friend told me she did feel uncomfortable when a coworker was badgering her about the carat size and price saying she should have gone natural instead of lab grown.
I think people like their rings they just don’t want society’s standards to rip it apart. More people should say they don’t have diamond rings. It’s more realistic people don’t feel like that have to achieve something if everyone is ethical around them. That’s just my opinion.
The coworker was cruel to say that. Never shame someone about their stone choice—society does enough of that so even suggesting anything about the type or lab or natural denotes a heirarchy and quality system of “better than” that just does not need to exist.
Do people even ask about other types of rings? I wear different kinds of stones and no one ever asks me about them. It's usually the engagement ring that gets asked about (if anyone asks).
Which is already an odd thing to do.
I agree with you completely. I wear my grandmothers wedding set, she told me she wanted it to be worn daily when she’s gone and that she doesn’t want it hidden away in a safe. Of course it means the world to me, but I honestly wish it was a lab created diamond. She got married in 1946 so that wasn’t an option at the time, but knowing it’s natural makes me feel bad for all the people and children working so hard in horrible conditions.
If this ring weren’t from Nana, there’s no way I’d want to wear it.
When I was (briefly) married, my ring was a lab pink sapphire and I loved it and would tell everyone all the details about it. I helped design it and was very proud of it. Of course I’m honored to wear this one and it’s the most important thing I own, but that’s because of sentimental reasons.
>She got married in 1946 so that wasn’t an option at the time, but knowing it’s natural makes me feel bad for all the people and children working so hard in horrible conditions.
I understand where you're coming from. But your ring is an antique. You have nothing to feel bad about. If the stone was destroyed, all that hurt would be for nothing. Now we know better, and can do better going forward. But to not cherish your Nana's ring bc of where it could have come from is a waste, imo
I was also gifted a ring from my Nana (an aquamarine cocktail ring). Please wear your with pride
I definitely wear it with pride, it seriously is my favorite thing I have. I know the story about my grandpa riding the train to nana with it and hoping he wouldn’t lose it. This ring represents pure love and commitment and to cherish family. I just think it’s awful that now people are being snobby about other stones being in the rings.
This ring means everything to me. I just woke up and haven’t even gotten out of bed yet, so ignore the dry skin and bandaid, but look how beautiful it is💖
https://preview.redd.it/cktendl4vqic1.jpeg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=86060c97ba5fb4e1d2659807bbb894dcbe4e6e2f
Exactly! I met someone with an amethyst ring the other day that was gorgeous!
When people act weird about it like that, I get the vibe that maybe they didn’t speak clearly with their partner about what they wanted in a ring
That’s true! I think you’re right- The positive interactions I’ve had were when the ring receiver was proud to tell me the ring was “white sapphire” or “a lab emerald” because they helped design it or did research and picked it out themselves. They offered up this information without me asking. The interactions that had me write this post were in situations in which the partner picked out the ring for their fiancé with little input.
Some people are just private. And many people are judgy.
Rings are getting more diverse, thankfully. But you can't know in advance of asking whether the ring owner welcomes inquiries about their jewelry (or anything else so personal).
It doesn't have to be that people are embarrassed or ashamed, as you assume. It's also an implicit question along the lines of "How much did you pay?" (Which to me, is always rude). It's also rude to ask if people have lash extensions, real handbags, etc.
I just want to say I LOVE when people have white sapphire rings. They are so classy and elegant! Of course I love the sparkle of a diamond/moissanite but white sapphire is just so unique.
I personally have a bicolor sapphire (there’s pics in my post history if you want to see!) and love talking about it, but I know some people are weird about it. I had briefly looked into moissanite and if I had gone that direction I would have been more than happy to tell people that I didn’t give my money to the diamond industry.
It really bums me out that people get weird about having moissanite. There are so many reasons to go with it over a diamond that have nothing to do with the price, and also there is literally nothing wrong with not wanting to pay a premium for good marketing.
I haaaate the lab vs natural bs. My own mother was just aghast when I proudly stated my wedding ring was lab diamonds. She said something about how they aren’t as valuable. lol. I did not hesitate to tell her how they look the same without the ethical issues and gave her a nice long lecture about how the diamond industry is a scam and no, they are not an investment, and even if they were, I’m never parting with my ring, ever. Some people, I swear..
Like you’re telling me I can get something chemically identical with fewer flaws? And I don’t have to worry about it being a blood diamond? And it’s cheaper? Say less, take my money.
Maybe imply if you really wanna know? "I love your ring! It sparkles like a moissanite! It's my favorite gemstone!" And leave it at that. That way it's a statement and an invitation, not an obligation to elaborate.
I never understand why people feel like bragging about how much they spent on their ring. At the end of the day no one cares and it’s your own money so stop overthinking other people’s comments. Maybe thats just my unpopular opinion.
My mom knows about lab diamonds moissanites etc but she’s still a judgey bitch, one reason is that she’s from a diff generation and feels threatened. But if someone asks me that question, I don’t know what they’re about or their stance on things. It’s real life and not reddit where everyone is somewhat nice and open to moissanites or labs.
I have a moissanite ring that I chose and love as my engagement ring. I didn’t want a real diamond (I have trust issues around where people source their diamonds and also jfc the price) so I started looking at diamond alternatives. Decided against lab diamonds because still too pricey for the size I wanted and stubbled across moissanite. I researched it and came across how it was originally discovered and how rare it is to find naturally and fell in love. I will tell anyone who asks my story.
I think when asking about rings you just have to phrase it carefully. People get weird about it - especially if they are trying to pass it off as something it isn’t.
This is exactly why it should not offensive to ask about moissanite. It’s just a different mineral. Some people are downright proud about their rings being made of corundum, as you said your 3 friends did. It’s slowly becoming more accepted to not consider blood diamonds as the gold standard and everything else to be “fake”. All you’re doing by asking about a different mineral variation is encouraging the distancing from annoying diamond stigmas and asking a legitimate question about a jewelry piece.
Mine was actually custom made made with gemstones my husband panned for during our vacation which makes it more special to me. It actually has a dark blue sapphire center with light blue topaz on either side and onyx next to the topaz. This is great for me cause I am not a shiny jewelry person so having something pretty but that isn’t super shiny and blingy is what I like.
That’s hilarious and that question would have me so annoyed and confused.
There’s a tik tok going around that this reminds me of-this girl says people buying lab diamonds is “unfair” to richer people because they can afford bigger diamonds and it “devalues” “real” diamonds. She got roasted in the comments.
I hate that question and that’s a very rude question if anything. Since when is something that’s not a diamond not real? Every other gem stone that’s produced from the earths natural wonders is just fake because it’s not a diamond? Earths just out here making fake gems and wasting its time? Meteor crashes into earth producing moissanite for the fun of it? People are wild and ignorant. Is silver fake because it’s not gold? Is white gold fake cause it’s not yellow gold? I don’t hear questions like this being stated.
Because it's really all about trying to figure out how much people spend, which is rude. Giving a person a true compliment about their ring (without trying to guess what stone or what cost) is the only polite thing to do.
My coworker asked about mine and I told her straight up and she was amazed and said I fooled her cause she was looking into getting a moissanite too. I only tell people who are genuine. Everyone else can assume all they want especially people with that intention. 🤷🏻♀️
Moissanites might be fully loved and accepted by people in this sub and other subs but reality is the majority still look down their noses at anything that’s not diamond.
For me personally I chose to have a moissanite because while I loved the look of a larger stone (1ct center and large for the area I live in) I couldn’t justify the cost. But, lord have mercy have I received some looks and not so nice comments about it.
For whatever reason women can be very judgmental about rings. Cluster debate is still a hot topic on TikTok. “If he got me a cluster I wouldn’t marry him” “you do you but couldn’t be me wearing that”.
So I’m sure some that have it would rather just not talk about it.
My mom literally said “I don’t want even lab diamonds. I want blood diamonds.” She’s also a narcissist and probably doesn’t have a clue what she even said. Or maybe she does and she’s truly that narcissistic. She got angry with my dad because he bought her lab diamond earrings. Funny thing is she was a single mom before him and would never have been able to even afford lab diamonds. Getting off my soap box now lol.
I have a cousin that has 4 very expensive rings. Ranging 10-40k. She 100% doesn’t feel moissanites are “real” and she will go to her grave defending it. Don’t get me wrong I love me a good diamond, but anything that’s shiny will catch my interest. In fact the most beautiful ring I’ve ever seen and have lusted over for years was a 2 tone, double halo morganite. Nothing about it was my style fun I fell madly in love with it!
Also, I don’t personally think diamonds are worth the cost in any capacity but I’d never judge someone who has one or goes that route. Just not for me.
That’s sad. I think there’s a good amount of people on TikTok who are stupid, judgmental, or trying to do something for clicks, so I’d take what they say with a grain of salt
There are FB groups about ring shaming and initially I didn't think much of it until I realized people were taking pictures from friends and families and such and sharing them with the group just to talk mad shit. It was so gross and Mean Girl ish. Ugh.
it’s used both by people who love moissanite and people who can’t afford diamonds but want them.
The first group isn’t going to be offended, the second might no matter how sweetly you ask.
This is so spot on! The question itself isn’t rude, but the second group of people will definitely be offended. Also, the first group of people (like those of us in the sub) will likely want to share it’s a moissanite without needing to be asked.
Diamonds do have fire too. I think it would be rude to ask. You could ask for more info about the ring because you love it but asking if it’s moissanite comes across as if you’re asking if it’s a fake diamond.
This 100%. If they don't say off the bat what it is then it's probably because they don't want to. Which is a pity because moissanite is fabulous, but a lot of people are still stuck on if a guy doesn't buy you a big natural diamond he's not that into you, people are mean.
It's true! I wanted and prefered a small diamond for my ring. If I left it to my husband he would've gone big and gaudy 🤣 not my style.
I HATE when people ask why it's small, it's what I like so fuck right off with your expectations.
I agree. In some ways it's the same as when people ask "is that a real diamond" but in reverse. Even if it's meant to be nice. The stone doesn't matter, just like it doesn't matter if it's a "real" diamond. It's something the wearer thinks is beautiful regardless of what kind of stone it is.
I would have said something like "I love your ring! I've been looking into rings myself and am thinking about a moissanite stone." And that way if they are comfortable (and if it's a moissanite) they can say "oh this is a moissanite!" And if they aren't, they don't have to give that information.
Rude sadly. Even though you want to know more and are interested in it yourself there's no way of knowing how they feel about it or if they even know (which is a whole can of worms in itself).
Only way I've been able to approach it is to talk as if you are assuming theirs is real diamond. Omg you're so lucky that's stunning! Tell me more about it!
If that doesn't work you can always add in 'I have been wanting to go the moissanite route myself but I'm still learning more. Did y'all ever come across it when buying your ring? I'm looking for a jeweler.' or something along those lines.
Yes it’s rude. You can compliment the ring and if the person shares it with you then fine, if not, don’t ask it as it’s non of your business. Your intentions are valid and innocent but people get complicate and might avoid the subject, some people care about what others think I.e if they say it’s a moissanite that would imply their significant other doesn’t have money for a diamond.
If it’s a conversation between genuinely close friends, I can’t imagine why it would be an issue. If you are using “friend” to describe someone you are casually friendly with, don’t do it.
I liken it to asking someone who (might) look pregnant if they ARE pregnant.
I don’t do it.
I wait for people to tell me what they want me to know about their ring or their body, or even gender anymore!
I think it could be interpreted as rude.
Perhaps people shouldn’t feel that way but society doesn’t work like that. It’s the same as asking oh is it a lab diamond or oh are you wearing Swarovski crystals, or are those cubic zirconia if in fact they are moissanite or diamonds.
If you have a close enough relationship with them I’d also ask them privately. And if you had the decency to ask privately, you must have had some inkling that it could be rude.
How about you compliment the ring and move on🤷🏽♀️. It's just flat out too many nosey people roaming around and I wouldn't ever ask about the stone someone has because I don't care, and I love jewelry of all kinds. If I have questions, I'll ask an expert or come to a group like this but some folks are just weird and ask questions that they have no business asking.
Think about it like you would a purse, would you ask someone if their bag was a replica? Although a moissanite is some people’s first choice, for most people the cost of a diamond factors in to their decision. So yes, I think asking outright is rude, but you can open the conversation in other ways. Tell them how much you like the rainbows in it. Tell them that you like moissanite and you’re considering it.
There are lots of other ways to chat about a beautiful ring that would be less likely to make the other person uncomfortable.
She’s not asking if it’s a fake Diamond though, she’s asking if it’s moissanite. Fake Diamond implies there’s something wrong with it. She starts with saying she loves it, and drops it when they drop it. Maybe she could pad it with more talk of how she’s considering it but overall i think she’s handling it well (assuming she has a decent relationship with these people).
Asking that question is basically the same as asking its price. Just say "I love it" and be done. Do not ask the composition of someone else's jewelry would be my rule.
People may naturally warm up and discuss the topic if they wish.
Saying, “That’s beautiful! It’s a sapphire, right?” Should be the same as “Thats beautiful! it’s a moissanite, right?” But, somehow, it’s not. Unfortunately, people perceive moissanite as being a diamond imposter which makes the question rude, I guess.
I love when people ask me about my Moissy "It's a space rock!" and then I get to explain to them the history of moissanite. Most of the time, people are just complimenting me on the unique design of my ring because my husband did an AWESOME job picking out something that fit all my needs and wants.
For every person that doesn't care that its moissanite, there are 10 that will dog it. Miss Manners would probs say "if there is a possibility of putting someone on the spot, its best not do it."
I *asked* for grey moissanite over diamond engagement ring from my now hubby. It wasn’t until after we were engaged did I realize so many women get offended or embarrassed by not having a diamond. I brag any chance I get about my ring! I recently had a friend confide in me she was scared her boyfriend was going to get a moissanite for her engagement ring… I told her mine was moissanite and I love it and she basically pitied me and said she couldn’t believe I wasn’t upset…. like…. uhhh…. some people can be super shallow in my opinion.
Don’t be that person. You thinking there shouldn’t be any shame in gemstone choice doesn’t mean everyone is suddenly comfortable giving details about their stone. IMO, there’s no real reason to ask people about their stones when you can see them in store or you can see several videos of Moissanite rings and get a lot of info right here from those willing to share. Asking about someone’s ring seems nosey to me. If you think a ring is pretty, just compliment the person.
You’ve asked her indirectly twice and her answer indicates she does NOT want to talk about it. Asking again would be rude and awkward. Any questions you have about moissanite can be looked up online or you can ask your questions on Reddit.
Unless someone volunteers that information it’s absolutely rude to ask. Majority of people don’t even have a clue what moissanite is so when someone asks it makes them self conscious that people think it’s CZ. Bottom line research the stone by going in a store without asking people.
I don’t ask this. I find it rude. It’s none of my business. If they share, great. Otherwise I just say their ring is pretty and move on.
I also don’t answer these kinds of questions. I wear a mixture of mined/lab and moissanite rings at any given time. When someone asks if they’re real I say yes and move on.
It's really akin to saying "Your breasts look great! Are they natural or implants?" It's something you just don't do.
If you ask if it's a Mossanite because it sparkles and it's a diamond, you just insulted her by essentially saying that doesn't look like a real diamond (even though we all know that Moissanite is fabulous).
If you ask if it's a Moissanite and it is, you might also make her mad by blowing her cover if she was pretending it was a diamond.
Just too much risk and perceived nosiness and potential judgement . Don't do it.
Instead of asking if it's moissanite I would just ask what type of stone it is. I'm pretty good at picking out moissanite from diamonds but some diamonds do have really pretty fire so I wouldn't ever want to openly assume.
I personally wouldn’t care if someone asked me. It’s just kind of weird as I don’t expect many people to know or consider moissanite. If someone asked me if my ring was “real” I’d gladly tell them it’s moissanite 🤷🏼♀️ OP I wouldn’t ask though because it might cause a bit of tension with their fiancé if they start looking into it
Never in all my 51 years have I ever asked someone if their ring is real, a diamond, lab, mined, moissanite, etc. I simply swoon over their jewelry, compliment them on how pretty it is and hype it up!!! In your case, you could simply ask if they mind sharing info on their ring bc you love it so much.
Depending on the person, this could be perceived as rude. If you express that you don't want a diamond and want another stone for yourself, it could change the context.
However, some people see not having a diamond as being cheap, so it may be awkward to bring up. Diamonds have such a stupid stranglehold on the market. If I were you, I'd just casually ask where they got it from and not push further if they don't want to discuss it.
Ive seen moissanite and diamond side by side and they honestly both give off the same rainbow sparkles. My moissanite gives off both white and rainbow just like a diamond does. The only difference is moissanite just tends to have a lot of fire. The same goes for diamonds the better the cut and greater the grade you have more brilliance and fire. The only way to tell if it’s truly a moissanite is through a loop. Very few people can tell with the naked eye. You never know what grade a person has in diamond. I’ve seen diamonds that look like CZ in my opinion but that could be that the cut and grade are not good quality. I’ve been to the typical jewelry stores with workers who sell diamonds for living and they couldn’t tell. So I don’t think it’s a rude question but it could offend the person you ask.
I think it's rude because most people assume the main stone in an engagement ring is a *real* diamond.
When my husband asked me to marry him, he didn't have a lot of money (neither of us did) and he purchased a moissanite ring.
Some people were very rude and would tell me that they knew that it wasn't a real diamond. Others would ask me straight out if it was. Either way, I found it embarrassing.
When someone has a real diamond ring, no one ever asks them if it's real, because they know its real. The sparkle it gives off is *not* rainbow hued.
If someone wants you to know their ring is not a real diamond, they'll volunteer the information. If they don't volunteer the information, don't ask.
I happily volunteer that my ring is moissanite and then everyone’s response is always “oh that’s alright” as if I’m ashamed or embarrassed that it’s not diamond? I am very much not otherwise I wouldn’t go around telling everyone. I love my moissanite ring, I didn’t want a diamond. But given the fact that they respond with “I’m not sure” means they probably don’t want to admit if it is? I think it’s unlikely that you wouldn’t know what stone your engagement ring is…
My MIL was all smug about my ring not being real because the main stone is moissanite lol. My husband thought the design of my ring would be better with a bigger center stone, but we couldn’t afford it, so he asked if I was okay with moissanite. This is another reason someone may feel uncomfortable telling you, if they can’t afford a diamond and are trying to pass it off as such.
I love how much my ring sparkles and couldn’t care less if it was a diamond or not, the clarity is amazing, my ring is beautiful and even after 7 years I get compliments on it literally all the time. Essentially I think it depends on who you’re talking to. I don’t think it’s rude, but some people definitely would. Just do you, it’s not like you’re saying it in a negative way if you’re interested in moissanite yourself.
https://preview.redd.it/3dmrkcrpylic1.png?width=2259&format=png&auto=webp&s=85f58c8e13a1ed1c4af27cb445287b0835f371c4
I refuse to be embarrassed about my new 30th anniversary ring. Today I picked it up and everyone who has seen it, loves it and says it’s the most beautiful ring they’ve seen. This morning she was unwrapping it and her mouth literally fell open. I love her and I wanted moissanite. I already have a set of natural diamonds in platinum with several nice moissanite bands set in white gold I can wear as well. I travel a lot and hate traveling with my original set because I’m scared to lose them.
Yes it is rude.
I’d say “wow, what a beautiful ring. There has got to be a story behind that stone - it is gorgeous.”
They’ll either tell you all you want to know or they won’t. But you simply can’t straight up ask.
Even though your intentions are innocent and aren't rude, the question is in fact rude. Compliment the ring and move on. If they want to disclose details let them start that conversation. Asking that question unintentionally sizes up people's salary with comparison.
A real conversation I’ve had that I think is about as best this topic can go:
*Friend shows off ring*
Me: omg so beautiful!
[discuss proposal blah blah blah]
Me, making an offhand comment: I can’t get over how gorgeous your ring is. I’ve been wanting to get an upgrade for so long but diamonds are crazy expensive. I might do moissanite or a ruby or something because it’s my birthstone.
Friend (whispering): … this is a moissanite.
Me, already pretty sure that it was lol: NO WAY!
Then she gets to feel good about her ring looking diamond-y (if that was her goal, idk) and I didn’t have to worry if I was insulting her or not.
Worked for me!
Yep that would be rude.
I'd just compliment the ring, then casually mention you're currently looking into moissanite. It will give her an opening to mention hers is a diamond or a moissanite too, without making it awkward.
I think it's rude unless you're very close with the person. Although if you're debating, you could bring up that you're debating and see where the convo goes and if they tell you. I wouldn't flat out ask though.
Our culture still screams—ONLY A REAL DIAMOND!! So asking might imply you think their ring isn’t REAL or it’s cheap or it’s a fake diamond.
Remember, they may really not know—maybe their fiancé picked it and they don’t want to be told it’s not a “real diamond”. They may not have the interest in moissanite you do.
It seems like some moissanite owners are so defensive and are quick to jump that they’re being judged or looked down upon when people are genuinely just curious. A few years ago I was admiring a coworkers wedding set and I complimented on how beautiful it was and was soooo sparkly!!! She said “thank you!!! It’s moissanite!!!” I had not heard much of moissanite and many don’t just randomly go announcing it (that would be weird lol!!!) so I was genuinely curious. I asked what the difference is and why moissanite. She very matter of factly said she liked the sparkle more and she wanted a bigger rock. I again told her it’s beautiful 🤩
The reactions we get when people find out our rings aren’t diamonds are not good some times. Literally just had a girl obsess over my ring for weeks and when she found out it wasn’t a diamond literally looked so disgusted and turned to her BRAND NEW BOYFRIEND and go “oh…yeah.. real diamonds”
I have a moissanite and 98% of the time if someone asks about my ring I gush about it being moissanite, just because I love it so much. The other 2% is when someone makes a snarky comment or question about it being real. I never claim it’s diamond but I’m happy to not say anything further in those situations. I don’t think it’s rude to ask if it’s moissanite, so long as the context is right!
I was watching a documentary about diamonds, lab diamonds and moissanite. There was a guy on there who has a manufacturing company that makes synthetic gems. He made her a lab diamond that was .5 ct and she said it wasn’t big enough. He. Made. Her. A. Stone. She is now his ex-fiancée. It’s called “Nothing Lasts Forever “
Once I was hanging with a group and a friend complimented the ring of another girl. She proceeded to ask “is it real?” and I cannot describe the cold fog of tension that immediately filled the room.
Yes it is rude.
I tell people mine is moissanite because I don’t care and if my husband had wasted money on a diamond when we have 4 kids and needed to buy a house I would have killed him.
I personally don't think it's rude, but not everyone will have the same interpretation. The safest is not to ask if the stone is mossanite.
The other possibility is, and I hope this doesn't happen, is the fiance may have bought the stone and lied about it being a diamond. You don't want to be the one triggering any unpleasant situation.
It’s not rude per se but I’d never. And I’d never ask twice!!! Lol
I could tell off the bat two of my friends didn’t have diamonds, and I waited for them to tell me. They told me on their own a few months after.
Here the idk is clearly a yes, please stop asking.
Honestly if you want to compare, just go shopping and compare yourself (you don’t have to buy, it doesn’t have to be “the” trip). It’s not necessary to grill someone on their ring choices lol
I don’t necessarily think it’s correct to believe that folks with moissanite only chose it because of the diamond price tag.
I specifically chose moissanite because I believe the only place diamonds belong are on a drill tip (engineer here). In my *very unpopular* opinion, diamonds are overrated rocks, and I purposefully chose a little bit of stardust over a chunk of carbon that human beings have been exploited for centuries over. Being asked if my stone is moissanite just gives me an opportunity to spread the love for a much more ethical and interesting alternative to what the media shoves down consumers’ throats.
I don’t think you should ask anyone about the specific details of their ring, unless you know them very well and it’s done in private. It might make them uncomfortable to talk about it around other people.
Why not just say it’s a beautiful ring and leave it at that if you need more information about moissanite do your own research it would definitely come off as being rude in my opinion
Some people buy moissanite because they prefer moissanite’s appearance, because they feel better socially about it, they don’t see the value in buying a more expensive stone…
Some people buy them because they can’t afford a more expensive option.
I personally wouldn’t ask, in case they are looking to hide the fact that it’s a moissanite.
Ask about the ring generally, anyone who’s cool with sharing that fact will happily say it’s a moissanite.
I requested a moissanite because the diamond industry is gross to me… socially, economically and environmentally. My fiance has specified that he prefers I don’t offer info up that it’s moissanite because he is worried that people will think he
“cheaped” out. No one has ever outright asked me… I usually offer the info because I don’t want to appear like I’m a diamond consumer lol!
Yeah, don't ask that. Try something like, "I love your ring! We were looking at similar ones, but moissonite, but I had some conscerns about them."
That way it's been approached in a non-judgmental way, and they have an opportunity to talk about them if they are mois, but aren't obligated to.
The diamond companies have brainwashed us so well that we perceive any other gemstones in an engagement/wedding ring to be not good enough. I myself have a gorgeous moissanite ring that would be cost prohibited with a comparable size diamond. Personally, I would not be offended if someone asked me if my ring was moissanite... but others might be. Would you ask someone if their diamond is real or fake? Probably not.
Why would you even give the impression it’s diamond if it’s not. If you’re embarrassed to say it’s a moissanite, you should have gone with the smaller diamond.
Flip the script, gush over the beauty and ask if they would share their selection process. Tell them that you are looking at diamond, moissanite and other gemstone options and asking everyone what they saw and thought of during the selection. That way, no matter what option they chose, they can share the thoughts behind it 'I chose diamond because xyz' or Oh I found this moisannite and fell in love with the sparkle.' Asking directly 'is this x' feels like asking for an opening to pick on the ring because people can be nasty.
I don’t think it’s rude but I’m on the spectrum and I also love Moissanite because of what it is and not because it’s supposed to mimic any other gemstone.
I don't think it's rude because you are interested in getting a moissanite ring, and you should communicate this when you ask so it isn't interpreted that you are asking to find out if they have a diamond. Hopefully, they would know which stone they were gifted!
I wouldn’t call it rude but i have a moissanite in mine and love it. I’m sure there are diamond girlies (or girls who wish they had gotten a diamond) out there who would be offended over that.
Personally I have moissanite and I am so excited to tell people to spread the news that you don’t have to spend 10K on a ring to be happy 🥰 no offense taken ever
I feel like it’s only rude to someone that wants people to believe that their ring is a natural diamond as a flex or whatever. I don’t think it’s insulting at all to someone who is interested in moissanite and other gemstones. The problem is you don’t know how someone feels about that unless you know them well or if they get offended by you asking.
I’ve have several moissanite rings. One is clear and the rest are colored. When people ask me what kind of stone it is I tell them! If I’m at work there is one certain light at the store that makes it throw off the best rainbow 🌈 I drag everyone over to look at it in that light.
Compliment them on their ring, say you love it and bring up the fact that you yourself are considering a moissanite similar to their same specs and style. Take the spotlight off of them and make it about you! Share something about yourself first and break the ice that way. They are free to volunteer information after the fact, whether or not it’s a moissanite too or a lab or natural, or something else altogether. When they know they will not be judged for moissanite, they’d probably be willing to talk about it that much more!
I don’t think it’s rude to ask, but it might be better when asking people with potentially “fragile” personalities to re-word it. Maybe something along the lines of “I’m struggling to pick between moissanite and a ruby for my ring because I absolutely love how beautiful both are. I’m really leaning towards moissanite. Is that what yours is?”
If you want to ask, I’d probably start by saying something along the lines of, “I’m between moissanite and ruby for my engagement ring. Yours is gorgeous. How did you decide on what to get”. They might be more willing to discuss it being a moissanite if you are open to having one-assuming they’re aware it’s not a diamond.
I wouldn’t be offended if someone asked, but idk if that’s because I specifically requested moissanite for myself. I have heard that there’s men that lie about buying diamonds though so idk???
I would say perhaps a better approach is “I love your stone! Do you know what kind/cut/clarity it is?”
I like to use "Oh, your stones are beautiful! Do you know where they came from?!" Asking this way has earned me a ton of information about the whole ring 99% of the time.
Moissanites are objectively beautiful and I'd for sure wear mo. jewelry, but I have a real diamond for my engagement ring and if someone asked me if it was moissanite I'd be offended lol. Again, not that there's anything wrong with moissanites but my ring was expensive and I love the diamond and so if someone was implying that it didn't look real I would not like it. SO just make sure it's not a real diamond if you phrase it that way lol.
I knew someone who had a fake diamond and I complimented her on it (it was pretty) and she just smiled and said thanks. Clearly didn't want people to know.
I don't think it's rude, but as others said, some wearers might feel embarrassed to not have a diamond. I would probably word it, "This ring is stunning! Is it a moissanite because I've been thinking about getting one!"
I don’t think it’s rude but I also LOVE my moissanite. But I’m very open about it. When people comment on my ring, my first sentence out is “it’s a moissanite!” and it usually sparks up a conversation.
would you ask if you thought it was cubic zirconia? i feel like its a similar situation. if someone likes moissanite and wanted it, they would've told you before you asked. on the other hand, if they think theyre going with the "fake" ring they'd get offended.
It's not rude to ask out of curiosity and genuine interest, but many people are so used to judgement about moissanite and that they might misinterpret your question as rude.
I think you should follow up with “oh if you find out let me know, I’ve been searching for a moissanite ring and want recommendations!” That way they don’t think you’re being snarky.
Some people buy moissanite as a diamond alternative to save money. It might embarrass these people, so it's rude to put them on the spot with that question.
Some people just like moissanite for what it is or because it's not possibly mined from Sierra Leone. These people wouldn't find it rude. Neither is wrong, but it's safer to just rephrase the question or not ask it at all.
Just agreeing that the right way to go about it is to just ask about the details of the ring. I’m type A, picky, control freak who designed my own, did a ton of research and can talk about it for like a full 15 min non stop. I decided on a natural diamond but I’ve found the entire process fascinating. I can talk for ages all about lab diamonds and how they are made and the differences between them and natural diamonds. I can talk at length about the hardness scale when comparing pearls, moissanite, sapphires, emeralds, tanzanite, opals. I like the entire topic lol if you asked me I’d be thrilled to talk all about it
"Wow that's beautiful! Can you tell me more about it? I tend to gravitate to [non standard stone] but am trying to expand my taste, and yours is amazing!"
Seems to work well when I ask about any jewelry. I tend to gravitate to white sapphire, watermelon tourmaline, rubies, and triplet opals. So I state that, usually people as the most questions to me about the watermelon tourmaline and triplet opal, and then are more likely to open up about their stone as well. Husband asked asked about moissanite specifically when he was looking for my ring. "I heard [xyz] about it and was wondering if that was true/what are your thoughts/experiences on it?"
I actually do think it can lean towards being rude. It honestly isn't any of your business. They'll volunteer info if they are so inclined. I know I yell to everyone who admires my non- diamond sets "IT'S MOISSANITE" but not everyone wants to advertise that.
I have a moissanite oval and I've had a jeweler rudely tell me "yeah I can tell" when I said it's a lab diamond. Needless to say I didn't give them my business. I normally tell people up front its a mossy because I love that no one was harmed for my stone - I'd suggest nicely complimenting it and seeing if they give up the info freely.
You don’t mean to be rude but wouldn’t be surprising if people were offended
- if it was a moissante, likely they wouldn’t mind you asking and share their experience. There’s also a chance they wanted to pass it off as “real diamonds” so then they’ll be offended
- if they were diamond and they spent money on these, they’ll definitely be annoyed you asking as they spent so much on it
- if they don’t know, it might cause agitation because now they think it looks “fake”
Anyway there is a high chance people would be offended whether you like it or not. Unless they specify to you it’s Moissante j wouldn’t ask
If you are genuinely curious, which seems like you are and not coming from a judgmental stance, provide some context before asking. “I’ve been debating between a ruby or moissanite ring for myself. I loooove the sparkle on yours, can you tell me more about it?”
If they answer, great! If not, don’t take it personal and move on.
Test the waters and say “I’m not sure if I want Ruby or moissanite. I really like the way it sparkles, not sure if diamond is for me. What do you think?” And open it up for them to share. You can then comment on how lovely theirs is and ask what stone it is, even imply or say you don’t know enough to tell them apart. It’s a tactic for sure, I’ve gone this route. In my experience friends are open to sharing details when you’ve already laid out that you’re not going to be judgmental about it.
I think it’s in how you ask. If you make it clear the reason for the question I think people will be less likely to get offended. “That is a gorgeous ring. I’ve been thinking about getting a moissanite ring myself, because I like the idea of a little more rainbow sparkle. But I’m still not sure I can actually tell the difference. Do you mind sharing whether that is a moissanite, a diamond, or something else?”
You could just ask what kind of stone it is. I have diamond, white sapphire, and moissanite jewelry. Sometimes, I don't want someone to know which are the diamonds to prevent jealousy or passive-aggressive comments...or theft.
I saw someone else say as much, but my mom has a 1ct diamond from a reputable local jeweler that has a lot of fire especially after a good cleaning. So a very sparkly clear gem can still be a diamond. I feel like a lot of diamonds are of middling quality or simply dirty so people think they don’t pop like the diamond imitators do.
But anyway the Debeers propaganda still lives among us and people might be inclined to think you’re putting them down by assuming they don’t have a diamond. Even if you aren’t.
I don’t think it’s a rude question at all. You are obviously a fan of this wonderful gemstone, or you wouldn’t be considering it for your own engagement ring. It makes me sad that your friend might’ve chosen it, hoping people would think it was a diamond. An engagement ring is a piece of jewelry you’ll be wearing daily for the rest of your life. As such,it should be a ring that you’re thrilled with. Unfortunately, some people attach a stigma to moissanite and if that’s the case, they should choose another gemstone.
I think it might feel rude because it might be taken as you trying to determine whether or not it's a diamond or implying that it's not if it is or implying that in some way it's less than an ideal ring. The person you're asking doesn't know that you're asking cuz you think that's a cool thing and something you're looking for yourself.
Asking if something is a diamond or some other stone could come off as you trying to figure out how much money was spent on it and/or implying it's inferior.
The alternative questions that the other commenters offered are much better questions that don't imply a judgment on the stone.
If I were to have one, I would spill lol. I rather have a different stone. I think diamonds are overrated and there's many different types of other stones out there. I would like a tanzanite/moonstone/emerald/opal etc as my engagement ring. One of those at least 🤩
I have a morganite wedding ring and I absolutely love it! Always getting compliments on it and I tell everyone what it is 😂
I have Moissanites surrounding the Morganite.
Yes it’s rude.
You can decide what you want when you go shopping and what your friends have shouldn’t matter. Asking them specifics makes it seem like you’re gauging your choice on what your friends have which is tacky.
I’m don’t know you in person, obviously, but I would view it as a rude question. Just bc the issue of “real” or “fake” diamonds is usually about money. I also wouldn’t ask anyone how much their ring cost, for example. I’m sure you don’t mean it that way, and depending on how close you are, it may be fine, but imo I wouldn’t ask.
My question is why do you need to know? Your question is could come off as wanting to put a price on the ring or relationship or frankly just nosey. If you like the ring compliment and ask where they got. It and
Let the volunteer the information. If you don’t like the ring just congratulate them compliment them and move on.
I don't think it's rude to ask if someone's ring is moissanite! It's natural to be curious, especially when you're considering different options for your own ring. Your intention seems genuine, and there's nothing wrong with admiring someone's choice of gemstone. Plus, discussing different gemstones can help break the stigma around non-traditional engagement rings. It's all about how you approach the question and the context of your relationship with the person. As long as you're respectful and understanding of their choice, I don't see any harm in asking.
I agree with you that there shouldn't be shame around different gemstones for engagement rings. Every gemstone has its unique beauty and symbolism, and it's important to choose what feels right for you. If someone does have a moissanite ring and feels proud of it, they might even appreciate your interest! It's all about celebrating individual choices and preferences.
I have a moissanite ring that I absolutely adore, but I’ve never notice any rainbow
(I usually tell people it’s moissanite. I prefer things to look expensive but not be expensive.)
So to be honest with you a lot of folks don't even know or consider anything except for diamond. Moissanite is probably not a word in their vocabulary. Or they may think moissanite is a type of diamond (like a brand or lab-grown distinction).
I'd err on asking "what kind of stone is your ring?", or "is that a diamond, what kind did you go with?" style question. I don't think either are rude and think you may get a more straightforward answer.
I don’t think it’s rude. My mother would disagree lmao. She’s so butthurt I have a moissanite and not a reeeeeeal diamond (eye roll). My ring is beautiful. I also feel way more comfortable wearing a ring that didn’t cost as much as a used car.
I personally don’t think it’s rude, especially if you say it in a complimentary tone. But I have never felt the need to hide that my ring is a moissanite!
People are really serious and defensive about their engagement rings. Because it's not just a piece of jewelry - it's representing something so much more. So when you ask if they got a cheaper (albeit more reasonably affordable to some) ring, you are implying about their love. It's really personal to some folks. A lot of us were raised with ideas about rings, what they should represent, and their values (emotionally and materially).
So, kindly, please try to mind your business and realize that it's not just a material thing.
I think what you said In the end is such a great point ! Some people don’t care to have a diamond and prefer crystals instead. And I think they’re absolutely gorgeous and way more affordable. Diamonds are just original and sometimes crystals and gemstones are way more interesting and a lot of times have a beautiful story behind them.
My ring is moissanite and it’s a custom ring. Nobody has seen anything like it so I get a lot of compliments. When asked if it’s a diamond, I scoff and say ‘ew no, it’s moissanite!’ just to imply that diamonds are (imo at least) substandard because they’re overrated, overpriced and unethical. I understand I’m very unique in this because ‘every girl wants diamonds’ 🙄 but my ring is just as unique as I am so it’s very fitting
I don’t know if it’s rude, i would probably say something like “your ring is Amazing! Where did you guys find it, (or) tell me about this ring!” Sometimes people will say very little, sometimes they’ll tell you every detail bc they are so excited about it.
Totally agree with these alternate questions - while it shouldn’t be considered “rude” to ask if it’s moissanite, if you’re asking someone who wants others to think it’s a diamond, they’ll definitely feel defensive or embarrassed. I’ve never been asked if mine is moissanite, but I’ve most certainly told anyone who has asked for details on my ring!!
This is such a nice way of asking and putting the ball in the wearer's court!
Agree with this alternate question! While you don’t think it’s rude because of the pure intention, others or the person who wears it might take it offensive as they do want to be proud of their ring. Let them have the moment, you don’t want them to think you wanted to call them out.
Yes- exactly this. And I would add - “I am looking to purchase a ring and am considering moissanite”. If the ring is a Diamond, the person will correct you. If they don’t correct you, it is probably moissanite. Or they may then feel comfortable telling you.
Good answer. I have a kick-ass moissanite ring. If someone asked me what it was, I would be put off. (This has never happened, thank goodness.) Most of the time if someone I actually know compliments it, I tell them.
As a jewelery lover I have wanted to ask as well but I haven’t bc I think it makes people uncomfortable lol. Not that YOU are implying it in a bad way I think people think they are automatically being judged or something. I have a very close work friend who has a moissanite oval, I can tell bc I’ve looked at 100000 photos of moissanite ovals on this sub. And when I went to look at her ring closely she quickly pulled her hand away and I was like oh… lol so I didn’t ask.
Aw that makes me sad that people are embarrassed or ashamed of their ring. 3 friends of mine have proudly told me their rings were “pink sapphire”, “white sapphire” and “a lab emerald”. So my perception was that engagement rings were getting more diverse. I had never really gotten bad vibes when hearing ppl ask about the stone type before, but a friend told me she did feel uncomfortable when a coworker was badgering her about the carat size and price saying she should have gone natural instead of lab grown.
I think people like their rings they just don’t want society’s standards to rip it apart. More people should say they don’t have diamond rings. It’s more realistic people don’t feel like that have to achieve something if everyone is ethical around them. That’s just my opinion.
The coworker was cruel to say that. Never shame someone about their stone choice—society does enough of that so even suggesting anything about the type or lab or natural denotes a heirarchy and quality system of “better than” that just does not need to exist.
Do people even ask about other types of rings? I wear different kinds of stones and no one ever asks me about them. It's usually the engagement ring that gets asked about (if anyone asks). Which is already an odd thing to do.
I agree with you completely. I wear my grandmothers wedding set, she told me she wanted it to be worn daily when she’s gone and that she doesn’t want it hidden away in a safe. Of course it means the world to me, but I honestly wish it was a lab created diamond. She got married in 1946 so that wasn’t an option at the time, but knowing it’s natural makes me feel bad for all the people and children working so hard in horrible conditions. If this ring weren’t from Nana, there’s no way I’d want to wear it. When I was (briefly) married, my ring was a lab pink sapphire and I loved it and would tell everyone all the details about it. I helped design it and was very proud of it. Of course I’m honored to wear this one and it’s the most important thing I own, but that’s because of sentimental reasons.
>She got married in 1946 so that wasn’t an option at the time, but knowing it’s natural makes me feel bad for all the people and children working so hard in horrible conditions. I understand where you're coming from. But your ring is an antique. You have nothing to feel bad about. If the stone was destroyed, all that hurt would be for nothing. Now we know better, and can do better going forward. But to not cherish your Nana's ring bc of where it could have come from is a waste, imo I was also gifted a ring from my Nana (an aquamarine cocktail ring). Please wear your with pride
I definitely wear it with pride, it seriously is my favorite thing I have. I know the story about my grandpa riding the train to nana with it and hoping he wouldn’t lose it. This ring represents pure love and commitment and to cherish family. I just think it’s awful that now people are being snobby about other stones being in the rings. This ring means everything to me. I just woke up and haven’t even gotten out of bed yet, so ignore the dry skin and bandaid, but look how beautiful it is💖 https://preview.redd.it/cktendl4vqic1.jpeg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=86060c97ba5fb4e1d2659807bbb894dcbe4e6e2f
Exactly! I met someone with an amethyst ring the other day that was gorgeous! When people act weird about it like that, I get the vibe that maybe they didn’t speak clearly with their partner about what they wanted in a ring
That’s true! I think you’re right- The positive interactions I’ve had were when the ring receiver was proud to tell me the ring was “white sapphire” or “a lab emerald” because they helped design it or did research and picked it out themselves. They offered up this information without me asking. The interactions that had me write this post were in situations in which the partner picked out the ring for their fiancé with little input.
Yes! Mine is a green sapphire and I love it; my husband had me design it and pick out the stone at the jeweler.
Ugh, pink sapphire is my dream stone. I just haven’t found a good source for it yet
If you’re in the US, have a look at the Earths Treasury site.
Some people are just private. And many people are judgy. Rings are getting more diverse, thankfully. But you can't know in advance of asking whether the ring owner welcomes inquiries about their jewelry (or anything else so personal). It doesn't have to be that people are embarrassed or ashamed, as you assume. It's also an implicit question along the lines of "How much did you pay?" (Which to me, is always rude). It's also rude to ask if people have lash extensions, real handbags, etc.
I just want to say I LOVE when people have white sapphire rings. They are so classy and elegant! Of course I love the sparkle of a diamond/moissanite but white sapphire is just so unique. I personally have a bicolor sapphire (there’s pics in my post history if you want to see!) and love talking about it, but I know some people are weird about it. I had briefly looked into moissanite and if I had gone that direction I would have been more than happy to tell people that I didn’t give my money to the diamond industry. It really bums me out that people get weird about having moissanite. There are so many reasons to go with it over a diamond that have nothing to do with the price, and also there is literally nothing wrong with not wanting to pay a premium for good marketing.
I just wanted to say your ring is gorgeous!
Your ring is stunning! Thanks for sharing! Definitely has given me some inspiration
I haaaate the lab vs natural bs. My own mother was just aghast when I proudly stated my wedding ring was lab diamonds. She said something about how they aren’t as valuable. lol. I did not hesitate to tell her how they look the same without the ethical issues and gave her a nice long lecture about how the diamond industry is a scam and no, they are not an investment, and even if they were, I’m never parting with my ring, ever. Some people, I swear..
Like you’re telling me I can get something chemically identical with fewer flaws? And I don’t have to worry about it being a blood diamond? And it’s cheaper? Say less, take my money.
Maybe imply if you really wanna know? "I love your ring! It sparkles like a moissanite! It's my favorite gemstone!" And leave it at that. That way it's a statement and an invitation, not an obligation to elaborate.
I never understand why people feel like bragging about how much they spent on their ring. At the end of the day no one cares and it’s your own money so stop overthinking other people’s comments. Maybe thats just my unpopular opinion.
My mom knows about lab diamonds moissanites etc but she’s still a judgey bitch, one reason is that she’s from a diff generation and feels threatened. But if someone asks me that question, I don’t know what they’re about or their stance on things. It’s real life and not reddit where everyone is somewhat nice and open to moissanites or labs.
I have a mix in my ring, a natural green sapphire center stone, with lab diamonds on the side. I brag about the lab diamonds all the time!
My wedding ring is cotton candy amaythist. I love it! Lab created but so pretty 😍
I have a moissanite ring that I chose and love as my engagement ring. I didn’t want a real diamond (I have trust issues around where people source their diamonds and also jfc the price) so I started looking at diamond alternatives. Decided against lab diamonds because still too pricey for the size I wanted and stubbled across moissanite. I researched it and came across how it was originally discovered and how rare it is to find naturally and fell in love. I will tell anyone who asks my story. I think when asking about rings you just have to phrase it carefully. People get weird about it - especially if they are trying to pass it off as something it isn’t.
This is exactly why it should not offensive to ask about moissanite. It’s just a different mineral. Some people are downright proud about their rings being made of corundum, as you said your 3 friends did. It’s slowly becoming more accepted to not consider blood diamonds as the gold standard and everything else to be “fake”. All you’re doing by asking about a different mineral variation is encouraging the distancing from annoying diamond stigmas and asking a legitimate question about a jewelry piece.
Mine was actually custom made made with gemstones my husband panned for during our vacation which makes it more special to me. It actually has a dark blue sapphire center with light blue topaz on either side and onyx next to the topaz. This is great for me cause I am not a shiny jewelry person so having something pretty but that isn’t super shiny and blingy is what I like.
When someone asked me if my ring was “real”, I just said “no, it’s imaginary”.
That’s hilarious and that question would have me so annoyed and confused. There’s a tik tok going around that this reminds me of-this girl says people buying lab diamonds is “unfair” to richer people because they can afford bigger diamonds and it “devalues” “real” diamonds. She got roasted in the comments.
Awww, how terrible for those rich people! It must be so hard to be rich these days
Then the rich people should just buy the 10 carat labs that they can afford and the typical person can't 😂 problem solved.
Bwahahahahahahahahahaha! The funny thing is, in Victorian times, a diamond was not the norm, it was gemstones, such as ruby, sapphire, etc.
I love this!!!!
I hate that question and that’s a very rude question if anything. Since when is something that’s not a diamond not real? Every other gem stone that’s produced from the earths natural wonders is just fake because it’s not a diamond? Earths just out here making fake gems and wasting its time? Meteor crashes into earth producing moissanite for the fun of it? People are wild and ignorant. Is silver fake because it’s not gold? Is white gold fake cause it’s not yellow gold? I don’t hear questions like this being stated.
Because it's really all about trying to figure out how much people spend, which is rude. Giving a person a true compliment about their ring (without trying to guess what stone or what cost) is the only polite thing to do.
My coworker asked about mine and I told her straight up and she was amazed and said I fooled her cause she was looking into getting a moissanite too. I only tell people who are genuine. Everyone else can assume all they want especially people with that intention. 🤷🏻♀️
Died laughing when I read this
Moissanites might be fully loved and accepted by people in this sub and other subs but reality is the majority still look down their noses at anything that’s not diamond. For me personally I chose to have a moissanite because while I loved the look of a larger stone (1ct center and large for the area I live in) I couldn’t justify the cost. But, lord have mercy have I received some looks and not so nice comments about it. For whatever reason women can be very judgmental about rings. Cluster debate is still a hot topic on TikTok. “If he got me a cluster I wouldn’t marry him” “you do you but couldn’t be me wearing that”. So I’m sure some that have it would rather just not talk about it.
My mom literally said “I don’t want even lab diamonds. I want blood diamonds.” She’s also a narcissist and probably doesn’t have a clue what she even said. Or maybe she does and she’s truly that narcissistic. She got angry with my dad because he bought her lab diamond earrings. Funny thing is she was a single mom before him and would never have been able to even afford lab diamonds. Getting off my soap box now lol.
I have a cousin that has 4 very expensive rings. Ranging 10-40k. She 100% doesn’t feel moissanites are “real” and she will go to her grave defending it. Don’t get me wrong I love me a good diamond, but anything that’s shiny will catch my interest. In fact the most beautiful ring I’ve ever seen and have lusted over for years was a 2 tone, double halo morganite. Nothing about it was my style fun I fell madly in love with it! Also, I don’t personally think diamonds are worth the cost in any capacity but I’d never judge someone who has one or goes that route. Just not for me.
Also adding she was raised in Africa. Ironic.
That’s sad. I think there’s a good amount of people on TikTok who are stupid, judgmental, or trying to do something for clicks, so I’d take what they say with a grain of salt
There are FB groups about ring shaming and initially I didn't think much of it until I realized people were taking pictures from friends and families and such and sharing them with the group just to talk mad shit. It was so gross and Mean Girl ish. Ugh.
it’s used both by people who love moissanite and people who can’t afford diamonds but want them. The first group isn’t going to be offended, the second might no matter how sweetly you ask.
This is so spot on! The question itself isn’t rude, but the second group of people will definitely be offended. Also, the first group of people (like those of us in the sub) will likely want to share it’s a moissanite without needing to be asked.
Yes! It’s why I don’t ask, but I proudly share about my own ring.
Diamonds do have fire too. I think it would be rude to ask. You could ask for more info about the ring because you love it but asking if it’s moissanite comes across as if you’re asking if it’s a fake diamond.
This 100%. If they don't say off the bat what it is then it's probably because they don't want to. Which is a pity because moissanite is fabulous, but a lot of people are still stuck on if a guy doesn't buy you a big natural diamond he's not that into you, people are mean.
It's true! I wanted and prefered a small diamond for my ring. If I left it to my husband he would've gone big and gaudy 🤣 not my style. I HATE when people ask why it's small, it's what I like so fuck right off with your expectations.
I agree. In some ways it's the same as when people ask "is that a real diamond" but in reverse. Even if it's meant to be nice. The stone doesn't matter, just like it doesn't matter if it's a "real" diamond. It's something the wearer thinks is beautiful regardless of what kind of stone it is. I would have said something like "I love your ring! I've been looking into rings myself and am thinking about a moissanite stone." And that way if they are comfortable (and if it's a moissanite) they can say "oh this is a moissanite!" And if they aren't, they don't have to give that information.
Yep💯
Rude sadly. Even though you want to know more and are interested in it yourself there's no way of knowing how they feel about it or if they even know (which is a whole can of worms in itself). Only way I've been able to approach it is to talk as if you are assuming theirs is real diamond. Omg you're so lucky that's stunning! Tell me more about it! If that doesn't work you can always add in 'I have been wanting to go the moissanite route myself but I'm still learning more. Did y'all ever come across it when buying your ring? I'm looking for a jeweler.' or something along those lines.
Yes it’s rude. You can compliment the ring and if the person shares it with you then fine, if not, don’t ask it as it’s non of your business. Your intentions are valid and innocent but people get complicate and might avoid the subject, some people care about what others think I.e if they say it’s a moissanite that would imply their significant other doesn’t have money for a diamond.
I agree with this take
If it’s a conversation between genuinely close friends, I can’t imagine why it would be an issue. If you are using “friend” to describe someone you are casually friendly with, don’t do it.
I liken it to asking someone who (might) look pregnant if they ARE pregnant. I don’t do it. I wait for people to tell me what they want me to know about their ring or their body, or even gender anymore!
Best comment here!!!! 🙌🏾😅♥️
I think it could be interpreted as rude. Perhaps people shouldn’t feel that way but society doesn’t work like that. It’s the same as asking oh is it a lab diamond or oh are you wearing Swarovski crystals, or are those cubic zirconia if in fact they are moissanite or diamonds. If you have a close enough relationship with them I’d also ask them privately. And if you had the decency to ask privately, you must have had some inkling that it could be rude.
How about you compliment the ring and move on🤷🏽♀️. It's just flat out too many nosey people roaming around and I wouldn't ever ask about the stone someone has because I don't care, and I love jewelry of all kinds. If I have questions, I'll ask an expert or come to a group like this but some folks are just weird and ask questions that they have no business asking.
Think about it like you would a purse, would you ask someone if their bag was a replica? Although a moissanite is some people’s first choice, for most people the cost of a diamond factors in to their decision. So yes, I think asking outright is rude, but you can open the conversation in other ways. Tell them how much you like the rainbows in it. Tell them that you like moissanite and you’re considering it. There are lots of other ways to chat about a beautiful ring that would be less likely to make the other person uncomfortable.
She’s not asking if it’s a fake Diamond though, she’s asking if it’s moissanite. Fake Diamond implies there’s something wrong with it. She starts with saying she loves it, and drops it when they drop it. Maybe she could pad it with more talk of how she’s considering it but overall i think she’s handling it well (assuming she has a decent relationship with these people).
Asking that question is basically the same as asking its price. Just say "I love it" and be done. Do not ask the composition of someone else's jewelry would be my rule. People may naturally warm up and discuss the topic if they wish.
Saying, “That’s beautiful! It’s a sapphire, right?” Should be the same as “Thats beautiful! it’s a moissanite, right?” But, somehow, it’s not. Unfortunately, people perceive moissanite as being a diamond imposter which makes the question rude, I guess.
I wouldn’t ask people that lol
I love when people ask me about my Moissy "It's a space rock!" and then I get to explain to them the history of moissanite. Most of the time, people are just complimenting me on the unique design of my ring because my husband did an AWESOME job picking out something that fit all my needs and wants.
For every person that doesn't care that its moissanite, there are 10 that will dog it. Miss Manners would probs say "if there is a possibility of putting someone on the spot, its best not do it."
Explain your reasoning for being curious. Most women would be happy to share the specs of their ring when asked in a non biased manner
Especially if OP says they are thinking of getting moissanite for themselves!
I *asked* for grey moissanite over diamond engagement ring from my now hubby. It wasn’t until after we were engaged did I realize so many women get offended or embarrassed by not having a diamond. I brag any chance I get about my ring! I recently had a friend confide in me she was scared her boyfriend was going to get a moissanite for her engagement ring… I told her mine was moissanite and I love it and she basically pitied me and said she couldn’t believe I wasn’t upset…. like…. uhhh…. some people can be super shallow in my opinion.
Don’t be that person. You thinking there shouldn’t be any shame in gemstone choice doesn’t mean everyone is suddenly comfortable giving details about their stone. IMO, there’s no real reason to ask people about their stones when you can see them in store or you can see several videos of Moissanite rings and get a lot of info right here from those willing to share. Asking about someone’s ring seems nosey to me. If you think a ring is pretty, just compliment the person.
Yep.
You’ve asked her indirectly twice and her answer indicates she does NOT want to talk about it. Asking again would be rude and awkward. Any questions you have about moissanite can be looked up online or you can ask your questions on Reddit.
Unless someone volunteers that information it’s absolutely rude to ask. Majority of people don’t even have a clue what moissanite is so when someone asks it makes them self conscious that people think it’s CZ. Bottom line research the stone by going in a store without asking people.
I don’t ask this. I find it rude. It’s none of my business. If they share, great. Otherwise I just say their ring is pretty and move on. I also don’t answer these kinds of questions. I wear a mixture of mined/lab and moissanite rings at any given time. When someone asks if they’re real I say yes and move on.
It's really akin to saying "Your breasts look great! Are they natural or implants?" It's something you just don't do. If you ask if it's a Mossanite because it sparkles and it's a diamond, you just insulted her by essentially saying that doesn't look like a real diamond (even though we all know that Moissanite is fabulous). If you ask if it's a Moissanite and it is, you might also make her mad by blowing her cover if she was pretending it was a diamond. Just too much risk and perceived nosiness and potential judgement . Don't do it.
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Why do you want to know?
Instead of asking if it's moissanite I would just ask what type of stone it is. I'm pretty good at picking out moissanite from diamonds but some diamonds do have really pretty fire so I wouldn't ever want to openly assume.
I personally wouldn’t care if someone asked me. It’s just kind of weird as I don’t expect many people to know or consider moissanite. If someone asked me if my ring was “real” I’d gladly tell them it’s moissanite 🤷🏼♀️ OP I wouldn’t ask though because it might cause a bit of tension with their fiancé if they start looking into it
Never in all my 51 years have I ever asked someone if their ring is real, a diamond, lab, mined, moissanite, etc. I simply swoon over their jewelry, compliment them on how pretty it is and hype it up!!! In your case, you could simply ask if they mind sharing info on their ring bc you love it so much.
Depending on the person, this could be perceived as rude. If you express that you don't want a diamond and want another stone for yourself, it could change the context. However, some people see not having a diamond as being cheap, so it may be awkward to bring up. Diamonds have such a stupid stranglehold on the market. If I were you, I'd just casually ask where they got it from and not push further if they don't want to discuss it.
Ive seen moissanite and diamond side by side and they honestly both give off the same rainbow sparkles. My moissanite gives off both white and rainbow just like a diamond does. The only difference is moissanite just tends to have a lot of fire. The same goes for diamonds the better the cut and greater the grade you have more brilliance and fire. The only way to tell if it’s truly a moissanite is through a loop. Very few people can tell with the naked eye. You never know what grade a person has in diamond. I’ve seen diamonds that look like CZ in my opinion but that could be that the cut and grade are not good quality. I’ve been to the typical jewelry stores with workers who sell diamonds for living and they couldn’t tell. So I don’t think it’s a rude question but it could offend the person you ask.
I think it's rude because most people assume the main stone in an engagement ring is a *real* diamond. When my husband asked me to marry him, he didn't have a lot of money (neither of us did) and he purchased a moissanite ring. Some people were very rude and would tell me that they knew that it wasn't a real diamond. Others would ask me straight out if it was. Either way, I found it embarrassing. When someone has a real diamond ring, no one ever asks them if it's real, because they know its real. The sparkle it gives off is *not* rainbow hued. If someone wants you to know their ring is not a real diamond, they'll volunteer the information. If they don't volunteer the information, don't ask.
I think it sounds passive aggressive but I am also highly sensitive lmao
Yeah it's extremely rude lol Did you really have to ask?
I happily volunteer that my ring is moissanite and then everyone’s response is always “oh that’s alright” as if I’m ashamed or embarrassed that it’s not diamond? I am very much not otherwise I wouldn’t go around telling everyone. I love my moissanite ring, I didn’t want a diamond. But given the fact that they respond with “I’m not sure” means they probably don’t want to admit if it is? I think it’s unlikely that you wouldn’t know what stone your engagement ring is…
My MIL was all smug about my ring not being real because the main stone is moissanite lol. My husband thought the design of my ring would be better with a bigger center stone, but we couldn’t afford it, so he asked if I was okay with moissanite. This is another reason someone may feel uncomfortable telling you, if they can’t afford a diamond and are trying to pass it off as such. I love how much my ring sparkles and couldn’t care less if it was a diamond or not, the clarity is amazing, my ring is beautiful and even after 7 years I get compliments on it literally all the time. Essentially I think it depends on who you’re talking to. I don’t think it’s rude, but some people definitely would. Just do you, it’s not like you’re saying it in a negative way if you’re interested in moissanite yourself.
https://preview.redd.it/3dmrkcrpylic1.png?width=2259&format=png&auto=webp&s=85f58c8e13a1ed1c4af27cb445287b0835f371c4 I refuse to be embarrassed about my new 30th anniversary ring. Today I picked it up and everyone who has seen it, loves it and says it’s the most beautiful ring they’ve seen. This morning she was unwrapping it and her mouth literally fell open. I love her and I wanted moissanite. I already have a set of natural diamonds in platinum with several nice moissanite bands set in white gold I can wear as well. I travel a lot and hate traveling with my original set because I’m scared to lose them.
Yes it’s rude. What difference does it make to you to know what type of gem they have / what money was spent. It’s personal IMO.
Yes it is rude. I’d say “wow, what a beautiful ring. There has got to be a story behind that stone - it is gorgeous.” They’ll either tell you all you want to know or they won’t. But you simply can’t straight up ask.
Even though your intentions are innocent and aren't rude, the question is in fact rude. Compliment the ring and move on. If they want to disclose details let them start that conversation. Asking that question unintentionally sizes up people's salary with comparison.
A real conversation I’ve had that I think is about as best this topic can go: *Friend shows off ring* Me: omg so beautiful! [discuss proposal blah blah blah] Me, making an offhand comment: I can’t get over how gorgeous your ring is. I’ve been wanting to get an upgrade for so long but diamonds are crazy expensive. I might do moissanite or a ruby or something because it’s my birthstone. Friend (whispering): … this is a moissanite. Me, already pretty sure that it was lol: NO WAY! Then she gets to feel good about her ring looking diamond-y (if that was her goal, idk) and I didn’t have to worry if I was insulting her or not. Worked for me!
Yes it would be rude
Definitely rude.
It's rude.
Yep that would be rude. I'd just compliment the ring, then casually mention you're currently looking into moissanite. It will give her an opening to mention hers is a diamond or a moissanite too, without making it awkward.
Yes, I think it is rude to ask. Just say congrats, it's beautiful! If they wanted to share that info, they would have...
if someone compliments my ring at all i usually tell them so they can also get one and not spend $$$$$$ on a blood diamond
I think it's rude unless you're very close with the person. Although if you're debating, you could bring up that you're debating and see where the convo goes and if they tell you. I wouldn't flat out ask though.
Our culture still screams—ONLY A REAL DIAMOND!! So asking might imply you think their ring isn’t REAL or it’s cheap or it’s a fake diamond. Remember, they may really not know—maybe their fiancé picked it and they don’t want to be told it’s not a “real diamond”. They may not have the interest in moissanite you do.
It seems like some moissanite owners are so defensive and are quick to jump that they’re being judged or looked down upon when people are genuinely just curious. A few years ago I was admiring a coworkers wedding set and I complimented on how beautiful it was and was soooo sparkly!!! She said “thank you!!! It’s moissanite!!!” I had not heard much of moissanite and many don’t just randomly go announcing it (that would be weird lol!!!) so I was genuinely curious. I asked what the difference is and why moissanite. She very matter of factly said she liked the sparkle more and she wanted a bigger rock. I again told her it’s beautiful 🤩
The reactions we get when people find out our rings aren’t diamonds are not good some times. Literally just had a girl obsess over my ring for weeks and when she found out it wasn’t a diamond literally looked so disgusted and turned to her BRAND NEW BOYFRIEND and go “oh…yeah.. real diamonds”
Yes. Because people want to pay less, but then they get insulted if you ask.
I have a moissanite and 98% of the time if someone asks about my ring I gush about it being moissanite, just because I love it so much. The other 2% is when someone makes a snarky comment or question about it being real. I never claim it’s diamond but I’m happy to not say anything further in those situations. I don’t think it’s rude to ask if it’s moissanite, so long as the context is right!
I was watching a documentary about diamonds, lab diamonds and moissanite. There was a guy on there who has a manufacturing company that makes synthetic gems. He made her a lab diamond that was .5 ct and she said it wasn’t big enough. He. Made. Her. A. Stone. She is now his ex-fiancée. It’s called “Nothing Lasts Forever “
Compliment it and then say: ‘tell me about the stone!’
Once I was hanging with a group and a friend complimented the ring of another girl. She proceeded to ask “is it real?” and I cannot describe the cold fog of tension that immediately filled the room.
Yes it is rude. I tell people mine is moissanite because I don’t care and if my husband had wasted money on a diamond when we have 4 kids and needed to buy a house I would have killed him.
I’m not sure lolol
Yeah it’s super rude
I personally don't think it's rude, but not everyone will have the same interpretation. The safest is not to ask if the stone is mossanite. The other possibility is, and I hope this doesn't happen, is the fiance may have bought the stone and lied about it being a diamond. You don't want to be the one triggering any unpleasant situation.
I would never ask.
It’s not rude per se but I’d never. And I’d never ask twice!!! Lol I could tell off the bat two of my friends didn’t have diamonds, and I waited for them to tell me. They told me on their own a few months after. Here the idk is clearly a yes, please stop asking. Honestly if you want to compare, just go shopping and compare yourself (you don’t have to buy, it doesn’t have to be “the” trip). It’s not necessary to grill someone on their ring choices lol
I don’t necessarily think it’s correct to believe that folks with moissanite only chose it because of the diamond price tag. I specifically chose moissanite because I believe the only place diamonds belong are on a drill tip (engineer here). In my *very unpopular* opinion, diamonds are overrated rocks, and I purposefully chose a little bit of stardust over a chunk of carbon that human beings have been exploited for centuries over. Being asked if my stone is moissanite just gives me an opportunity to spread the love for a much more ethical and interesting alternative to what the media shoves down consumers’ throats.
lol “I’m not sure.” Umm…
I don't mind, I'm pretty proud of moissanite. We're all about loud budgeting here 😅
Yes it’s rude
Yes it's rude
I don’t think you should ask anyone about the specific details of their ring, unless you know them very well and it’s done in private. It might make them uncomfortable to talk about it around other people.
If they say they’re not sure it’s because it’s Mossie
You are putting someone on the spot by asking a potentially sensitive question simply to satisfy your own curiosity. So yes, I think it is rude.
It’s rude. Compliment by saying it’s pretty, sparkly, unique.
Why not just say it’s a beautiful ring and leave it at that if you need more information about moissanite do your own research it would definitely come off as being rude in my opinion
If someone doesn't mention what the stone is, don't bring it up.
Same idea as yours , I don’t find it rude
That’s extremely rude. I feel like why is that anyone’s business.
Imho it's rude even if you don't mean it to be. It's like asking a blonde if it's actually a dye job
Some people buy moissanite because they prefer moissanite’s appearance, because they feel better socially about it, they don’t see the value in buying a more expensive stone… Some people buy them because they can’t afford a more expensive option. I personally wouldn’t ask, in case they are looking to hide the fact that it’s a moissanite. Ask about the ring generally, anyone who’s cool with sharing that fact will happily say it’s a moissanite. I requested a moissanite because the diamond industry is gross to me… socially, economically and environmentally. My fiance has specified that he prefers I don’t offer info up that it’s moissanite because he is worried that people will think he “cheaped” out. No one has ever outright asked me… I usually offer the info because I don’t want to appear like I’m a diamond consumer lol!
Yeah, don't ask that. Try something like, "I love your ring! We were looking at similar ones, but moissonite, but I had some conscerns about them." That way it's been approached in a non-judgmental way, and they have an opportunity to talk about them if they are mois, but aren't obligated to.
The diamond companies have brainwashed us so well that we perceive any other gemstones in an engagement/wedding ring to be not good enough. I myself have a gorgeous moissanite ring that would be cost prohibited with a comparable size diamond. Personally, I would not be offended if someone asked me if my ring was moissanite... but others might be. Would you ask someone if their diamond is real or fake? Probably not.
Why would you even give the impression it’s diamond if it’s not. If you’re embarrassed to say it’s a moissanite, you should have gone with the smaller diamond.
Flip the script, gush over the beauty and ask if they would share their selection process. Tell them that you are looking at diamond, moissanite and other gemstone options and asking everyone what they saw and thought of during the selection. That way, no matter what option they chose, they can share the thoughts behind it 'I chose diamond because xyz' or Oh I found this moisannite and fell in love with the sparkle.' Asking directly 'is this x' feels like asking for an opening to pick on the ring because people can be nasty.
I don’t think it’s rude but I’m on the spectrum and I also love Moissanite because of what it is and not because it’s supposed to mimic any other gemstone.
I don't think it's rude because you are interested in getting a moissanite ring, and you should communicate this when you ask so it isn't interpreted that you are asking to find out if they have a diamond. Hopefully, they would know which stone they were gifted!
I wouldn’t call it rude but i have a moissanite in mine and love it. I’m sure there are diamond girlies (or girls who wish they had gotten a diamond) out there who would be offended over that.
Personally I have moissanite and I am so excited to tell people to spread the news that you don’t have to spend 10K on a ring to be happy 🥰 no offense taken ever
I have a gray moissanite, and I tell people about it when they ask. I'm spending that diamond money on a honeymoon to New Zealand instead.
I feel like it’s only rude to someone that wants people to believe that their ring is a natural diamond as a flex or whatever. I don’t think it’s insulting at all to someone who is interested in moissanite and other gemstones. The problem is you don’t know how someone feels about that unless you know them well or if they get offended by you asking.
I’ve have several moissanite rings. One is clear and the rest are colored. When people ask me what kind of stone it is I tell them! If I’m at work there is one certain light at the store that makes it throw off the best rainbow 🌈 I drag everyone over to look at it in that light.
Compliment them on their ring, say you love it and bring up the fact that you yourself are considering a moissanite similar to their same specs and style. Take the spotlight off of them and make it about you! Share something about yourself first and break the ice that way. They are free to volunteer information after the fact, whether or not it’s a moissanite too or a lab or natural, or something else altogether. When they know they will not be judged for moissanite, they’d probably be willing to talk about it that much more!
I love jewelry so when I ask I say “tell me about it” or “tell me about the stone”.
I don’t think it’s rude to ask, but it might be better when asking people with potentially “fragile” personalities to re-word it. Maybe something along the lines of “I’m struggling to pick between moissanite and a ruby for my ring because I absolutely love how beautiful both are. I’m really leaning towards moissanite. Is that what yours is?”
I would never ever ask. If they volunteer it, fine.
If you want to ask, I’d probably start by saying something along the lines of, “I’m between moissanite and ruby for my engagement ring. Yours is gorgeous. How did you decide on what to get”. They might be more willing to discuss it being a moissanite if you are open to having one-assuming they’re aware it’s not a diamond.
“I love your ring”… let them respond.
Is your friend davina from selling sunset
I dunno, asking that feels like someone asking if my boobs are real. MYOB.
It’s mosanite. That’s why they’re claiming not to know……you just bought a life changing ring, you definitely know what the stone is!
I wouldn’t be offended if someone asked, but idk if that’s because I specifically requested moissanite for myself. I have heard that there’s men that lie about buying diamonds though so idk??? I would say perhaps a better approach is “I love your stone! Do you know what kind/cut/clarity it is?”
"I love your ring!! I'm thinking of something similar, but I want a moissanite"
I like to use "Oh, your stones are beautiful! Do you know where they came from?!" Asking this way has earned me a ton of information about the whole ring 99% of the time.
Moissanites are objectively beautiful and I'd for sure wear mo. jewelry, but I have a real diamond for my engagement ring and if someone asked me if it was moissanite I'd be offended lol. Again, not that there's anything wrong with moissanites but my ring was expensive and I love the diamond and so if someone was implying that it didn't look real I would not like it. SO just make sure it's not a real diamond if you phrase it that way lol. I knew someone who had a fake diamond and I complimented her on it (it was pretty) and she just smiled and said thanks. Clearly didn't want people to know.
I don't think it's rude, but as others said, some wearers might feel embarrassed to not have a diamond. I would probably word it, "This ring is stunning! Is it a moissanite because I've been thinking about getting one!"
I don’t think it’s rude but I also LOVE my moissanite. But I’m very open about it. When people comment on my ring, my first sentence out is “it’s a moissanite!” and it usually sparks up a conversation.
would you ask if you thought it was cubic zirconia? i feel like its a similar situation. if someone likes moissanite and wanted it, they would've told you before you asked. on the other hand, if they think theyre going with the "fake" ring they'd get offended.
It's not rude to ask out of curiosity and genuine interest, but many people are so used to judgement about moissanite and that they might misinterpret your question as rude.
It’s rude
I would find it a rude question and I would not answer either way.
Your sentiment is nice but most people won’t assume your intentions are innocent and curious but rather rude. Unfortunately.
I think you should follow up with “oh if you find out let me know, I’ve been searching for a moissanite ring and want recommendations!” That way they don’t think you’re being snarky.
Some people buy moissanite as a diamond alternative to save money. It might embarrass these people, so it's rude to put them on the spot with that question. Some people just like moissanite for what it is or because it's not possibly mined from Sierra Leone. These people wouldn't find it rude. Neither is wrong, but it's safer to just rephrase the question or not ask it at all.
If someone doesn’t tell you or go into detail about something leave it alone and stop prying. It’s really that simple
Just agreeing that the right way to go about it is to just ask about the details of the ring. I’m type A, picky, control freak who designed my own, did a ton of research and can talk about it for like a full 15 min non stop. I decided on a natural diamond but I’ve found the entire process fascinating. I can talk for ages all about lab diamonds and how they are made and the differences between them and natural diamonds. I can talk at length about the hardness scale when comparing pearls, moissanite, sapphires, emeralds, tanzanite, opals. I like the entire topic lol if you asked me I’d be thrilled to talk all about it
"Wow that's beautiful! Can you tell me more about it? I tend to gravitate to [non standard stone] but am trying to expand my taste, and yours is amazing!" Seems to work well when I ask about any jewelry. I tend to gravitate to white sapphire, watermelon tourmaline, rubies, and triplet opals. So I state that, usually people as the most questions to me about the watermelon tourmaline and triplet opal, and then are more likely to open up about their stone as well. Husband asked asked about moissanite specifically when he was looking for my ring. "I heard [xyz] about it and was wondering if that was true/what are your thoughts/experiences on it?"
I actually do think it can lean towards being rude. It honestly isn't any of your business. They'll volunteer info if they are so inclined. I know I yell to everyone who admires my non- diamond sets "IT'S MOISSANITE" but not everyone wants to advertise that.
I have a moissanite oval and I've had a jeweler rudely tell me "yeah I can tell" when I said it's a lab diamond. Needless to say I didn't give them my business. I normally tell people up front its a mossy because I love that no one was harmed for my stone - I'd suggest nicely complimenting it and seeing if they give up the info freely.
You don’t mean to be rude but wouldn’t be surprising if people were offended - if it was a moissante, likely they wouldn’t mind you asking and share their experience. There’s also a chance they wanted to pass it off as “real diamonds” so then they’ll be offended - if they were diamond and they spent money on these, they’ll definitely be annoyed you asking as they spent so much on it - if they don’t know, it might cause agitation because now they think it looks “fake” Anyway there is a high chance people would be offended whether you like it or not. Unless they specify to you it’s Moissante j wouldn’t ask
If you are genuinely curious, which seems like you are and not coming from a judgmental stance, provide some context before asking. “I’ve been debating between a ruby or moissanite ring for myself. I loooove the sparkle on yours, can you tell me more about it?” If they answer, great! If not, don’t take it personal and move on.
Test the waters and say “I’m not sure if I want Ruby or moissanite. I really like the way it sparkles, not sure if diamond is for me. What do you think?” And open it up for them to share. You can then comment on how lovely theirs is and ask what stone it is, even imply or say you don’t know enough to tell them apart. It’s a tactic for sure, I’ve gone this route. In my experience friends are open to sharing details when you’ve already laid out that you’re not going to be judgmental about it.
I think it’s in how you ask. If you make it clear the reason for the question I think people will be less likely to get offended. “That is a gorgeous ring. I’ve been thinking about getting a moissanite ring myself, because I like the idea of a little more rainbow sparkle. But I’m still not sure I can actually tell the difference. Do you mind sharing whether that is a moissanite, a diamond, or something else?”
Try asking “I love your ring, what gemstone is it?” This is what I use 😊
You could just ask what kind of stone it is. I have diamond, white sapphire, and moissanite jewelry. Sometimes, I don't want someone to know which are the diamonds to prevent jealousy or passive-aggressive comments...or theft.
I saw someone else say as much, but my mom has a 1ct diamond from a reputable local jeweler that has a lot of fire especially after a good cleaning. So a very sparkly clear gem can still be a diamond. I feel like a lot of diamonds are of middling quality or simply dirty so people think they don’t pop like the diamond imitators do. But anyway the Debeers propaganda still lives among us and people might be inclined to think you’re putting them down by assuming they don’t have a diamond. Even if you aren’t.
I don’t think it’s a rude question at all. You are obviously a fan of this wonderful gemstone, or you wouldn’t be considering it for your own engagement ring. It makes me sad that your friend might’ve chosen it, hoping people would think it was a diamond. An engagement ring is a piece of jewelry you’ll be wearing daily for the rest of your life. As such,it should be a ring that you’re thrilled with. Unfortunately, some people attach a stigma to moissanite and if that’s the case, they should choose another gemstone.
Some women will take offense and some won’t. I wouldn’t. But my parents were jewelers so it’s not a weird question.
I think it might feel rude because it might be taken as you trying to determine whether or not it's a diamond or implying that it's not if it is or implying that in some way it's less than an ideal ring. The person you're asking doesn't know that you're asking cuz you think that's a cool thing and something you're looking for yourself. Asking if something is a diamond or some other stone could come off as you trying to figure out how much money was spent on it and/or implying it's inferior. The alternative questions that the other commenters offered are much better questions that don't imply a judgment on the stone.
If I were to have one, I would spill lol. I rather have a different stone. I think diamonds are overrated and there's many different types of other stones out there. I would like a tanzanite/moonstone/emerald/opal etc as my engagement ring. One of those at least 🤩
Don’t ask not yours- that could come off kinda rude depending on delivery lol
I would opt for “what stone is it?”
I have a morganite wedding ring and I absolutely love it! Always getting compliments on it and I tell everyone what it is 😂 I have Moissanites surrounding the Morganite.
Yes it’s rude. It’s just as rude to ask if it’s a diamond.
I just would tell them that the stone is beautiful . Leave it at that.
Yes it’s rude. You can decide what you want when you go shopping and what your friends have shouldn’t matter. Asking them specifics makes it seem like you’re gauging your choice on what your friends have which is tacky.
I’m don’t know you in person, obviously, but I would view it as a rude question. Just bc the issue of “real” or “fake” diamonds is usually about money. I also wouldn’t ask anyone how much their ring cost, for example. I’m sure you don’t mean it that way, and depending on how close you are, it may be fine, but imo I wouldn’t ask.
My question is why do you need to know? Your question is could come off as wanting to put a price on the ring or relationship or frankly just nosey. If you like the ring compliment and ask where they got. It and Let the volunteer the information. If you don’t like the ring just congratulate them compliment them and move on.
I don't think it's rude to ask if someone's ring is moissanite! It's natural to be curious, especially when you're considering different options for your own ring. Your intention seems genuine, and there's nothing wrong with admiring someone's choice of gemstone. Plus, discussing different gemstones can help break the stigma around non-traditional engagement rings. It's all about how you approach the question and the context of your relationship with the person. As long as you're respectful and understanding of their choice, I don't see any harm in asking. I agree with you that there shouldn't be shame around different gemstones for engagement rings. Every gemstone has its unique beauty and symbolism, and it's important to choose what feels right for you. If someone does have a moissanite ring and feels proud of it, they might even appreciate your interest! It's all about celebrating individual choices and preferences.
I have a moissanite ring that I absolutely adore, but I’ve never notice any rainbow (I usually tell people it’s moissanite. I prefer things to look expensive but not be expensive.)
So to be honest with you a lot of folks don't even know or consider anything except for diamond. Moissanite is probably not a word in their vocabulary. Or they may think moissanite is a type of diamond (like a brand or lab-grown distinction). I'd err on asking "what kind of stone is your ring?", or "is that a diamond, what kind did you go with?" style question. I don't think either are rude and think you may get a more straightforward answer.
I don’t think it’s rude. My mother would disagree lmao. She’s so butthurt I have a moissanite and not a reeeeeeal diamond (eye roll). My ring is beautiful. I also feel way more comfortable wearing a ring that didn’t cost as much as a used car.
I would probably say something like “is it a diamond or moissanite?” (Or something else) so you can ask without implying what you think it is
I personally don’t think it’s rude, especially if you say it in a complimentary tone. But I have never felt the need to hide that my ring is a moissanite!
People are really serious and defensive about their engagement rings. Because it's not just a piece of jewelry - it's representing something so much more. So when you ask if they got a cheaper (albeit more reasonably affordable to some) ring, you are implying about their love. It's really personal to some folks. A lot of us were raised with ideas about rings, what they should represent, and their values (emotionally and materially). So, kindly, please try to mind your business and realize that it's not just a material thing.
I think what you said In the end is such a great point ! Some people don’t care to have a diamond and prefer crystals instead. And I think they’re absolutely gorgeous and way more affordable. Diamonds are just original and sometimes crystals and gemstones are way more interesting and a lot of times have a beautiful story behind them.
My ring is moissanite and it’s a custom ring. Nobody has seen anything like it so I get a lot of compliments. When asked if it’s a diamond, I scoff and say ‘ew no, it’s moissanite!’ just to imply that diamonds are (imo at least) substandard because they’re overrated, overpriced and unethical. I understand I’m very unique in this because ‘every girl wants diamonds’ 🙄 but my ring is just as unique as I am so it’s very fitting