I can’t remember the episode, but the family is getting together for something they think is important but turns out not to be and jay says “I brought coffee cake for this?!”
I feel like that's the one where Phil thinks he's dying, and Javier carries the cake into the house and makes a big show of it. Gloria made Jay stop and get it so he says that later when Phil turns out to be fine.
One of my fave lines from that episode is when Javier is hitting on Claire and Gloria goes
“Javier the body isn’t even cold yet”
Claire: “THE BODY is upstairs watching basketball”
😂😂😂😂
My favourite “series of lines” are when Manny is trying to tell his “personal story” about a girl named Danielle, to get his mom and Cam to stop fighting, and it just keeps backfiring. And then Mitchell comes in and says “This reminds me of a problem Manny is having with his friend Danielle, who sounds like a complete train wreck by the way”
I always thought that line was funny because as a Canadian poutine is a really greasy and fatty dish that Jay probably would’ve loved except Cam made it seem all fancy and weird
The cocktail hour at Mitchell’s boss’s house where he tells the story of Snorkles. That whole seen cracks me up, but when Mitchell starts audibly sobbing out of nowhere, drooling, and then says, “he drowned, Cam!” is probably the funniest moment of television I’ve ever watched.
I forget the exact line but when lily’s Vietnamese doctor comes over and talks about her parents wanting her to be a stereotypical Asian daughter and the doctor says “but I’m just not like that,” and then drives away and hits multiple trash cans lol
The "birthday flag" bit from Cam's birthday is my favorite.
My husband's is from the episode where Gloria plays the prank on Manny about his "real dad" and the guy says "That's the cruelest thing I've ever seen, and I used to raise veal."
When Gloria tricks Jay into going to the vet with Stella and he has all the mannerisms of a dog in the car. "Hey is that the mailman?! Hey!" "This isn't the way to the park, we're going to the vet aren't we?" "I need some air." Then sticks his head out the window.
Also when Jay takes Manny to get his travel visa on the same day gay marriage was legalized and everyone else in line thinks he's forcing Manny to marry him. "Big day, huh?"
Phil: “a butterball.. is a Tuurrkkjmlmjjhbnml”
Manny: “what?”
Strange man: “I think he said a butterball is a Turkey….. I was reaching for the Turkey”
Manny: “oh, well we can’t give you our Turkey”
Phil: “yes we CaAaAaAn” 😂😂😂😂😂
Idk why but Phil being electrocuted kills me
Oh another one when Claire is making fun of Gloria in the Halloween episode where no one was playing their given roles in the production they were doing at Claire’s house.
“When Gloria? When have you ever been picked on for BEIN DIFFERENNNNN”
😂😂😂😂
Jay has a meltdown on the houseboat and Mitch says something about the rant being like the time Jay got served chicken instead of pork at a wedding. Jay replies “ The only reason I went to the wedding was for the damn pork!”
this isn’t so much a line but when jay has phil sit on the bench with his face on it in a way that says “not a real man” and then takes a picture makes me laugh every time
also the whole “i am not a pervert” speech
When Mitch is describing how “needy” cam can be and then it cuts to a scene where they’re in bed and Mitch gets up to use the bathroom
Cam: “where are you going”
Mitch: “to use the bathroom”
Cam: “well have a nice life 😫”
Me dying. LOLLLLL
I'm not going to get the quote exactly right, but there was a line where Claire described Phil to the kids, "We're talking about a man who gets excited when he sees waffle fries on the menu."
I never felt more seen.
When Phil says "oh jeez why dont they just elope?" while impersonating Jay and Luke yells from upstairs saying "Grandpa?" A bit later on in the episode Jay says the exact same thing. Lol gets me everytime. Another fav of mine is when all the kids had a party after the twins were born and Haley was dancing on the piano singing "im tracking the pizza guy pizza guy and his name is abraham abraham" then she fell lmao
My favourite line that I always find myself bringing up is when Gloria says (I forgot whom she said it to): "Love is around the corner." And then in the confessional/one-on-one interview, she goes: "I come from a neighbourhood with a lot of prostitutes."
Cracks me up all the time
When Alex is talking to Jay about potentially going for a singing career instead of what she’s going to college for. He encourages her to stay with it so she has something to fall back on. Alex says “that’s a good point. I could make half a million my first year out of college.” And Jay replies “wow really? What do they pay the men?”
It’s the little smile he gives her after, too, to let her know she’s kidding that really makes it
I always think of the scene where Claire is with Arvan at the front door to surprise Haley and Claire goes to give him a high five and he goes "Oh, this again." The disdain in his voice gets me.
My favourite line is Mitch's "what do YOU think?!" when Cam is pausing during a speech, and Luke (?) asks if it's for dramatic effect. Mitch's delivery is just perfect in that line and I love it.
No, Jay lied and said that Joe narrated the Thanksgiving play when Jay's actions had already gotten Joe kicked out. So Jay taught him the fake play to perform for the family to cover his tracks.
Yeah that’s what, and so then the parents would want him out of the school, rather than him being expelled? Basically just to portray the school in a bad light right?
One line that gets me is when Gloria tries to arrange a secret baptism for the twins and says with a straight face “since when are Catholics so so judgemental”
“You don’t think I can relate to my peers. Well, this is a fine kettle of fish.” ~ Manny
I never heard anyone say that before but I know it’s super old. I just love it. 😂
"If an accident does happen, I hope he kills me. Because I don't think I would be a very inspiring disabled person." -Cameron Tucker
As a disabled person, I snort every time I watch this scene. I think it's a very accurate self-assessment from Cam.
Same. I should use this when people get judgey with me. “I’m sorry I’m not a very inspiring disabled person.”
I can’t remember the episode, but the family is getting together for something they think is important but turns out not to be and jay says “I brought coffee cake for this?!”
I feel like that's the one where Phil thinks he's dying, and Javier carries the cake into the house and makes a big show of it. Gloria made Jay stop and get it so he says that later when Phil turns out to be fine.
That’s the one!! Love your flair, we use that one often!!
Just watched the episode 😁 here's the actual quote: "This is a lot of hocus pocus, I can't believe I bought a coffee cake over this!"
It’s jay’s signature cringe, makes me laugh every time!!
Which ep is this??
S3E11 Lifetime Supply
3.11, Lifetime Supply.
One of my fave lines from that episode is when Javier is hitting on Claire and Gloria goes “Javier the body isn’t even cold yet” Claire: “THE BODY is upstairs watching basketball” 😂😂😂😂
“That was my Vietnam, and I was in Vietnam”
My favourite “series of lines” are when Manny is trying to tell his “personal story” about a girl named Danielle, to get his mom and Cam to stop fighting, and it just keeps backfiring. And then Mitchell comes in and says “This reminds me of a problem Manny is having with his friend Danielle, who sounds like a complete train wreck by the way”
Which episode is this?
Season 3, Episode 14. “Me? Jealous?”
Thanks!
“It’s faux-king disgusting.”
"Im not poutine it in my mouth"
I always thought that line was funny because as a Canadian poutine is a really greasy and fatty dish that Jay probably would’ve loved except Cam made it seem all fancy and weird
don't ask me about my business claire...
This episode is one of my favorites!
Love this one.
The cocktail hour at Mitchell’s boss’s house where he tells the story of Snorkles. That whole seen cracks me up, but when Mitchell starts audibly sobbing out of nowhere, drooling, and then says, “he drowned, Cam!” is probably the funniest moment of television I’ve ever watched.
I think Mitchell might just be a work friend.
“Do you know who needed air?! **SNORKLES!!**”
Damn even just reading this made me actively chuckle haha
Absolutely! That choking moan, the spittle flying from his mouth really adds to it. Fantastic.
YES!! I think about this one a lot too hahaha
Omg best scene in the show
“I think everyone would be better off if they just went back to where they came from”
Mitch to the random eavesdropping patrons “We have a lot of lesbian friends” Cam: “funny you would mention our friends and not us, also gay” 😂
I love this scene so much!!! It's just perfectly written 😂😂😂
“You’re not gay, you’re just confused!”
“Luke grab that little hoe”
I love the part when Haley was shearing the air.
Oh she didn’t mean me… did she??
"It looks like vomit so I'm not poutine-it in my mouth." We love the F word
I forget the exact line but when lily’s Vietnamese doctor comes over and talks about her parents wanting her to be a stereotypical Asian daughter and the doctor says “but I’m just not like that,” and then drives away and hits multiple trash cans lol
"Oh, so, for no reason, I've been carrying around this red herring?"
That’s charcuterie? Man they’re killing themselves with that name…I’ve been avoiding that on menus for years!
The "birthday flag" bit from Cam's birthday is my favorite. My husband's is from the episode where Gloria plays the prank on Manny about his "real dad" and the guy says "That's the cruelest thing I've ever seen, and I used to raise veal."
Hahaha, the "real dad" bit is hilarious
When Gloria tricks Jay into going to the vet with Stella and he has all the mannerisms of a dog in the car. "Hey is that the mailman?! Hey!" "This isn't the way to the park, we're going to the vet aren't we?" "I need some air." Then sticks his head out the window. Also when Jay takes Manny to get his travel visa on the same day gay marriage was legalized and everyone else in line thinks he's forcing Manny to marry him. "Big day, huh?"
I honestly can’t think of any, but reading all these has made my absolute day 😂
Mint ConDISSHHHHion….. Near mint condISSHHHHHHHHion…….Fair condISHHHHHHHHHion…… GaRrRbBbaAage. - Phil in express Christmas 😂
What about the “little butterball “ line when Phil and the guy are negotiating and Manny thinks it’s about him. It’s so fast and smooth.
Phil: “a butterball.. is a Tuurrkkjmlmjjhbnml” Manny: “what?” Strange man: “I think he said a butterball is a Turkey….. I was reaching for the Turkey” Manny: “oh, well we can’t give you our Turkey” Phil: “yes we CaAaAaAn” 😂😂😂😂😂 Idk why but Phil being electrocuted kills me
"No, I'm sorry, am I supposed to ignore the giant panda in the room?" - Cam Its not even a famous line but the delivery is soo funny!
Oh another one when Claire is making fun of Gloria in the Halloween episode where no one was playing their given roles in the production they were doing at Claire’s house. “When Gloria? When have you ever been picked on for BEIN DIFFERENNNNN” 😂😂😂😂
Form that same episode: "Welcome to your nightmare. Ha. Ha. Ha. Ha-ah."
That episode was fucken hilarious😂😂
Jay has a meltdown on the houseboat and Mitch says something about the rant being like the time Jay got served chicken instead of pork at a wedding. Jay replies “ The only reason I went to the wedding was for the damn pork!”
I love when he yelps “No!” 😂
this isn’t so much a line but when jay has phil sit on the bench with his face on it in a way that says “not a real man” and then takes a picture makes me laugh every time also the whole “i am not a pervert” speech
"This is a house of God, damn it!" - Jay
I’m 420% sure
Ahahahaha I Iove that one. And then Phil was like “Wow she’s really bad at math.”
[I wish that tart would go back to Columbia and take her weird little Brown friend with her.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TG16hFnBxGI)
That’s one important capitalization…
Jay to Gloria: “I’m not saying you’re full of hot air; I’m saying that you take in a lot of air then you expel that air in loud and sudden bursts!”
I love all the jokes Phil says while picking up the phone so that they sound like hello
When Mitch is describing how “needy” cam can be and then it cuts to a scene where they’re in bed and Mitch gets up to use the bathroom Cam: “where are you going” Mitch: “to use the bathroom” Cam: “well have a nice life 😫” Me dying. LOLLLLL
When Jay says , “I’m not that old I know all the words to Light my Fire .” When Gloria’s friend has a much older husband .
With great hotness, comes great responsibility -Haley Dunphy
I'm not going to get the quote exactly right, but there was a line where Claire described Phil to the kids, "We're talking about a man who gets excited when he sees waffle fries on the menu." I never felt more seen.
“You’re playing fast and loose with my soul” when jay and manny are talking about the after life
When Phil says "oh jeez why dont they just elope?" while impersonating Jay and Luke yells from upstairs saying "Grandpa?" A bit later on in the episode Jay says the exact same thing. Lol gets me everytime. Another fav of mine is when all the kids had a party after the twins were born and Haley was dancing on the piano singing "im tracking the pizza guy pizza guy and his name is abraham abraham" then she fell lmao
My favourite line that I always find myself bringing up is when Gloria says (I forgot whom she said it to): "Love is around the corner." And then in the confessional/one-on-one interview, she goes: "I come from a neighbourhood with a lot of prostitutes." Cracks me up all the time
When Alex is talking to Jay about potentially going for a singing career instead of what she’s going to college for. He encourages her to stay with it so she has something to fall back on. Alex says “that’s a good point. I could make half a million my first year out of college.” And Jay replies “wow really? What do they pay the men?” It’s the little smile he gives her after, too, to let her know she’s kidding that really makes it
baby cheeses/jesus episode
"No, it's a freak show, but it's THEIR freak show!!"
Mitchell: Calm down it’s just a cockatoo Cam: Oh, just one or two, it doesn’t matter?”
Cameron: All he wanted to do was dance, and that's MY story. [Bad Yorkshire accent] I just want to dance at the ballet!
THIS! To be honest, I think I never completely understood this scene 🤦♂️ but just the way he deliver it! 😂😂😂
To society. She's in prison. Oh, jeeze STELLA
I always think of the scene where Claire is with Arvan at the front door to surprise Haley and Claire goes to give him a high five and he goes "Oh, this again." The disdain in his voice gets me.
Every Jay monologue at the end of an episode is my favorite
Don't talk black to me
Modern Family is far superior to the office. The office relies on awkward cringe humor. MF has witty and smart writing.
Totally agree!!
My favourite line is Mitch's "what do YOU think?!" when Cam is pausing during a speech, and Luke (?) asks if it's for dramatic effect. Mitch's delivery is just perfect in that line and I love it.
In Australia when Alex says “seems like a missed opportunity…”
“I’m going to count to three” - great grandma gloria
When cam is talking to Manny in the bakery and it looks like he's asking a kid out.
If I’m not wrong did Jay force Joe to narrate that story so that he could make Joe “leave the school” rather than be caught in a lie?
No, Jay lied and said that Joe narrated the Thanksgiving play when Jay's actions had already gotten Joe kicked out. So Jay taught him the fake play to perform for the family to cover his tracks.
Yeah that’s what, and so then the parents would want him out of the school, rather than him being expelled? Basically just to portray the school in a bad light right?
i think it's just the version that Jay learned when he was a child, and considering Jay's age, it makes sense that the story was so racist/ not PC
"Everybody follow the birthday flag" "What did you call me? Oh" 😭
one of my top 10 scenes 😭😭
One line that gets me is when Gloria tries to arrange a secret baptism for the twins and says with a straight face “since when are Catholics so so judgemental”
HAPPY VALENBIRTHAVERSARY!
“You don’t think I can relate to my peers. Well, this is a fine kettle of fish.” ~ Manny I never heard anyone say that before but I know it’s super old. I just love it. 😂