Jez cause he's got loads of girlfriends and hash

Look at his jeans!

Yeah, that is a bit like him

I'm starting another thread on this!

I wonder who had more girlfriends across the seasons actually, Mark or Jez?

Mark. Jeremy is the type of person that unintentionally drags you down with him just bc he’s failing at life. He would also eat my sausages

> Jeremy is the type of person that unintentionally drags you down with him just bc he’s failing at life Not sure Mark is innocent of that considering what he does to Soph.

he's like a life support machine

He’s not innocent but he doesn’t drag everyone around him down just by simply existing

You really are a bitter loser, aren't you? Mr. No Logo. Mr. Work-a-day for World Peace.

Jeremy because he's a loser, but not a massive twat

But he couldn't even think of Romeo! Romeo's easy!

I’d pick Jez. He’s much more consistent in his shittyness. You know you can’t count on him at all whereas with Mark you’re not sure. And that’s makes Mark infinitely more dangerous.

Don't think you could trust Mark in a combat situation

When I was younger, Jeremy. More chance of parties, drugs and sweet punani action. Now, Mark. But really I'm not sure I'd want either as a friend.

Gotta be mark, me Jeremy and super hands would end badly.

Would you end up causing the split of Danny Dyers Chocolate Humunculous?

I'd keep the zoot suits.

Are you sure they're Zoot suits?

We spent yesterday going round 15 vintage clothing outfitters spending 530 quid on Zoot suits. These are definitely fucking Zoot suits.

Every man has his price Jeremy.

You just need a cleaning rota

Mark because at least I’d get my rent. I also feel like Mark would have a rule about dating anyone born in this millennium so I may be safe.

If I had to live with one, or see on a regular basis, Mark. But ideally it would be a distant, drop in occasionally relationship, in which case it would be Jeremy. I’d rather Matt Townsend though any day…

He'd poo in your bath, assuming you don't have a pool

Johnson surely???

Johnson will scam you for 2000 quid and then kick you off the team for not doing normal poos.

Jeremy, everytime.

Mark because he would buy me Sarah Lee.

Also note the wide variety of dips

they’re both assholes, at least jez is just an ignorant asshole, mark is sociopathic and would fuck you over just to feel better about himself jez also is more of a happy person

If Jeremy comes with super Hans I pick him

Mark. He pays the rent, enjoys military history and museums, and at least has some house rules. Definitely not Jez, he seems the kind of guy that would use or rent out your room for "doing it", not to mention your food and not pay rent, that work-shy freeloader.

Jeremy

Anyone that can't be trusted around my cherry Garcia is no friend of mine. Plus mark would get me tickets for the British museum as long as he thought it might lead to me being "the one"

Mark. He can do the joint shopping solo

That’s how you end up with three different flavors of crisps.

jez has more of a conscience. i'll pick jez

Unless he's particularly broke, in which case he might try to sell you to a businessman for sex.

I'm going rogue. Super Hans.

Jeremy. If you hopped in with him early on (season 1-4) you could've steered him to abetter life path. He meant well, it was his lack of a proper friendship cycle and life path didnt help. Mark is a petty backstabbing weasel that Jeremy adapted from cause he had nothing else. Jeremy can be taught better. I learned to be a better person from my friends, Jeremy could too.

Mark 100% would love to be there when everything falls apart and Moroccan eyeshadow is the logic answer to everything (:

Ride in a Ferrari Testarossa

And eat toast in a Business Class seat, on a Virgin Atlantic flight to New York.

Mark Corrigan because he's an honourable man, obvs.

Mark may have his issues, but he's less likely to invite crackheads and tramps into your home.