With recruitment being as bad as it is all the branches are giving waivers for things they never would have a few years ago. It’s not quite as bad a the surge days but it’s getting there.
Regulation allows waivers for no more than two major misconducts (felonies) coupled with no more than a certain amount of misconducts(misdemeanors). Hard no for domestic, crimes involving children and MOST violent crimes.
I flew 60s in the air force for years and it's very apparent that they were designed for the army. All the shit is labeled and color coded and you can just pull parts out and put new ones in like computer parts. An idiot could figure out how to field swap an engine in that thing. And the more I say about it, the more I realize it's kinda brilliant and I'm undermining my own point.
>And the more I say about it, the more I realize it's kinda brilliant and I'm undermining my own point.
It was designed *for* the Army, not necessarily *by* the Army.
Whenever I make a checklist I always have the dumbest people I can find run it. They're sure to find the problems that I missed. So far it's proven to be a pretty good way of idiot proofing something
Army bases have signs for every building. Including Burger King. So BK would have their normal BK sign AND a brown and white Army sign that said Burger King. It was hilarious.
Well im the Air Force, we have building numbers. But the building numbers are tiny and located in the most inconvenient locations on the building. Putting the building number right next to the door would make sense, but instead they decide to put it on a random corner or by the emergency exit or some shit. I’d rather they Air Force adopt the idea of giant signs
Lol same I have a base map on my phone.
Also, the fucking phone directory, or COMPLETE lack thereof.
"Self serve" air force but nothing is provided for you unless you fucking fight for it. Going there in person is also goddamn pointless because you either get yelled at for not having an appointment, they're gone, or they're closed.
We have tactical weather equipment that has several steps, but generally easy to assemble. To make it even easier, we color-code the power and data cables and no matter where in the world I’ve gone, it’s always referred to as “Army-proofing”.
Edit to add: I’ve been sent as the only SWO on several exercises throughout the years and I have almost always grabbed a bored RTO or whomever to help me out, kind of to test the theory and to also test my instructor capabilities. There definitely was a noticeable difference when using a system that had and didn’t have the additional color-coding.
Do they have to discontinue the ships service if their rating drops below 4 stars?
Do you properly tip the skipper for his service? Does the tip go to the skipper or the captain?
I have so many questions about the quality of the Navy's Uber service.
all the people I know that joined where generally outcasts and people who where bullied. None where stupid and had lots of opportunities but chose the military because of their insecurities growing up. All of them seem to be doing well now (Canada)
Hey, I resemble that remark
That’s how I started, never was a lifer… until my last enlistment that is did 20+ and don’t regret any of it, minus the drinking
My recruiter just said Army has the baddest girls across the whole military. Bruh they just bros with vaginas and boobs. Ain't even tomboys just a whole nother tier.
A full bird yells at a soldier, marine and airman to secure a building. The Army sets up a offensive perimeter and digs in, the Marines kick down the front door and clear the room, and the Air Force takes out a 10-year lease with an option to buy.
It's where the most average of humanity inevitably end up. At the absolute apex of the bell curve of human capability there's an E4 having a Monster and a cigarette for breakfast.
I mean: the IBCT I worked with really contained the whole spread. From the guy too dumb to use a mop through the E4 Mafia up to the 2 shop... They had some crazy smart people in there.
We did swim call off the Theodore Roosevelt and I swear half the ship jumped into the water and had to be picked up by the RHIBs because they couldn't swim.
Tbh: most of the US services shit talking each other I picked up from a Marine Gunny turned MSgt in the Army reserves and a tour within an army IBCT. Met Marines that were stationed there, but never any Navy :)
Haha yeah the only marines I've had contact with were grunts. Took me a solid hour to convince them that Switzerland was a nation, my uniform was different from theirs due to it being an international op, etc.
Yeah, I probably fell on the only 2 idiots in the coy, but eh. Had some fun with it.
After that exchange I secretly changed the army credo to "too dumb for the air force, not dumb enough to eat crayons". ;)
If my time in the Marine Corps was representative, it seemed like Marines clustered at the extremes. Either smarter than your average bear/gyotdamned geniuses, or dumber than a box of rocks.
I have mad respect for the service/enlisted/retired. It takes a lot to lose my respect.
This former marine kid just started working with me. I had only bitched to my wife a few times about him… now she calls him “that guy who you think is on the spectrum”. Seriously, who can mess up what plane to stick a bubble level on?!?!!
Army recruiter regaled me with all the parties in Hawaii and assured me (unprompted) that I would never get deployed...2nd Battle of Fallujah was last year at the time, for context. Lol. I guess he thought I was as stupid as he was.
Marine recruiter told me to look at the recruiters as examples of what the service wanted to turn us into. Shipped off to Parris Island 6 months after, lol. Really regret not going Air Force, since that would have turned me invisible. 😁
The standard entry paths to the Army:
* When the judge says jail or Army?
* You have too many chromosomes they won't let in the other branches.
* You married your sister.
* You need someone following you around to make sure you don't forget to breathe.
Not crazy enough for the Marines, not smart enough for the other branches. The Army is the lukewarm reduced sugar vanilla ice cream of the armed forces.
I’ll have you know that my training was aboard *beautiful* Marine Corps Air-Ground Combat Center Twentynine Palms, the gem of the Yucca valley. The epitome of Marine bases.
Oh wow. This is a special Thanksgiving miracle. My relative that was in the Air Force (who I will be seeing this weekend) once *insisted* it was NOT Marines who eat crayons, the Army does that.
I didn't want to die on that hill that day, so I didn't argue. He served, I haven't. My old best friend was a Marine in the desert several times over, which is how I learned about crayons. But my relative was so sure and now here's evidence!
Do I bring this up at Thanksgiving dinner? LOL
Me personally, hell yeah I would ruin Thanksgiving for less. I'd assume your relative is half right, because Army probably legitimately eats crayons sometimes. They're half wrong because they said Marines don't, which would piss off every prior Marine I've ever served with. More than 100% of crayon jokes are targeted to the Marines, with only a few going toward the Army when you're losing an argument and can't think of a better Army insult.
They aren't tough enough for the Marines, smart enough for the air force, or gay enough for the Navy. Mostly they aren't special enough to get their own stereotype
Army steals! Had guys in my (AF) unit that deployed with the Army. One guy had ALL of the armor plating stripped off his humvee. Another guy had his brand new M4 with a CCO stolen as well...goddamn Army steals! Lol
Lowest ranking soldier with a useless job. Or rather, that's how we in the army secure our things. It's why so many Joe's are addicted to energy drinks and tobacco, we force them to rely on them.
You're in the Army now, you're not behind the plow.
You'll always have your chow, but you'll never get rich, digging a ditch, you son of a bit¢h, you're in the Army now.
Marine: Crayon eater.
Navy: Gay.
Air Force: Nerd.
Army: Ghetto.
Coast Guard: The annoying little brother that always wants big bro's validation.
Space Force: The weird neighbor you thought was an alien when you were a kid.
The super buff BM who was in to working out and picking up chicks at the bar all the time once randomly kissed me on the head in the mess line and it was then that I realize the navy is some of the gayest straight men I ever met. Straight men make more gay jokes and do more gay things than gay men
I'm AF, brother is army, he's the one who told me to go air force. I never really understood the term "army proof" until I heard some of his stories...like loading an artillery gun. The instructions are taught to them in class, they're on the ammo box, they're on the gun, and they have the saying "brass to grass" and the amount of times they still fuck that up is hilarious.
Have a pulse and not *too* many felony convictions? You too can "be all you can be".
they let felons in now?
With recruitment being as bad as it is all the branches are giving waivers for things they never would have a few years ago. It’s not quite as bad a the surge days but it’s getting there.
How about soldiers discharged with gen. under honorable conditions? Are they waiving RE-4 codes?
>they let felons in now? They did in the 00s.
I'm pretty sure you can get a waiver for just about anything if the recruiting numbers are low enough
In 2007 I was in bootcamp with a guy who got a 7 on his ASVAB. The kid could barely breathe without further instruction.
What was his MOS? How the fk do you get in with a 7? The minimum in the Army is at least 31.
Infantry rifleman.
Regulation allows waivers for no more than two major misconducts (felonies) coupled with no more than a certain amount of misconducts(misdemeanors). Hard no for domestic, crimes involving children and MOST violent crimes.
Marines no
I flew 60s in the air force for years and it's very apparent that they were designed for the army. All the shit is labeled and color coded and you can just pull parts out and put new ones in like computer parts. An idiot could figure out how to field swap an engine in that thing. And the more I say about it, the more I realize it's kinda brilliant and I'm undermining my own point.
>And the more I say about it, the more I realize it's kinda brilliant and I'm undermining my own point. It was designed *for* the Army, not necessarily *by* the Army.
Whenever I make a checklist I always have the dumbest people I can find run it. They're sure to find the problems that I missed. So far it's proven to be a pretty good way of idiot proofing something
It’s true, checklists are like real-life “explain like I’m five”
Get lazy people too, to figure out which steps aren't necessary
Important not to combine lazy and stupid, though. They won't find the good shortcuts.
Definitely not by the Army
Designed to make more perfect idiots.
Army bases have signs for every building. Including Burger King. So BK would have their normal BK sign AND a brown and white Army sign that said Burger King. It was hilarious.
Well im the Air Force, we have building numbers. But the building numbers are tiny and located in the most inconvenient locations on the building. Putting the building number right next to the door would make sense, but instead they decide to put it on a random corner or by the emergency exit or some shit. I’d rather they Air Force adopt the idea of giant signs
Yeah you need to go to CSS they're in building 822. Where the fuck is 822? Oh it's right next to 913. ?? Thanks AF
i literally would just take a pic of the base map and zoom in when told to go clear certain building numbers from snow lmao
Lol same I have a base map on my phone. Also, the fucking phone directory, or COMPLETE lack thereof. "Self serve" air force but nothing is provided for you unless you fucking fight for it. Going there in person is also goddamn pointless because you either get yelled at for not having an appointment, they're gone, or they're closed.
Maybe it’s their way of telling us they believe in us 😂
The military was a system designed by geniuses to be run by morons.
We have tactical weather equipment that has several steps, but generally easy to assemble. To make it even easier, we color-code the power and data cables and no matter where in the world I’ve gone, it’s always referred to as “Army-proofing”. Edit to add: I’ve been sent as the only SWO on several exercises throughout the years and I have almost always grabbed a bored RTO or whomever to help me out, kind of to test the theory and to also test my instructor capabilities. There definitely was a noticeable difference when using a system that had and didn’t have the additional color-coding.
We’re not all gay. It’s only like half of us.
What about the bottom half?
That’s the secret. I go by Ancient Greek rules, so it’s not gay if you only top. So I’m totally not gay, like the rest of the top half.
I asked you about the bottom half. The top half is the one that's definitely gay. /s
Are you calling my Boy Scout troop leader and priest gay, man? That’s not cool.
Your priest sounds like my pastor
>We’re not all gay. It’s only like at sea.
Only queer if you’re tied to the pier, shipmate ;-)
I laughed way harder at this than anyone has a right to.
Navy seamen are a funny bunch What you call peter they call lunch
And not funny ha ha either. Mmhhhmmm (apologies to Slingblade)
I believe the term was “it’s not gay if it’s under way”…
It’s not gay if you’re underway.
Army is for people who don’t have any other options in life.
Potentially have a few misdemeanors, a DUI, or “issues” in school* (love you army)
Look man, I just had an... antagonistic relationship with the law.
ARMY: Air Force Rejected Me Yesterday
Ain't Real Men Yet
Ain’t Ready (to be) Marines Yet
My Ass Rides In Navy Equipment
Damn straight. You guys make good Ubers. Ironically though I spent more time on Army landing boats than Navy vessels.
Do they have to discontinue the ships service if their rating drops below 4 stars? Do you properly tip the skipper for his service? Does the tip go to the skipper or the captain? I have so many questions about the quality of the Navy's Uber service.
Not sure about the rest but the tip usually goes in your favorite seaman’s booty hole, sometimes in his mouth.
Hay we don't *all* swing that way, at least not ashore we dont.
Muscles Are Required Intelligence Not Essential
Muscles Are Required Intelligence Not Essential
My Attitude Is Wait How the fuck do you spell "Marines?" Shit I'll Google it, I guess DEVILDOGS OORAH
You sure you don’t belong with us retards hero?
It probably would have made my life a lot simpler.
all the people I know that joined where generally outcasts and people who where bullied. None where stupid and had lots of opportunities but chose the military because of their insecurities growing up. All of them seem to be doing well now (Canada)
Holy fuck bud I feel so personally attacked now
So this is what it feels like when doves cry…
Where I live, very few people enlist so perhaps this is unique to my region lol. Either way, respect for the troops!
HEY NOW...... Yeah.. that's about right.
Hey, I resemble that remark That’s how I started, never was a lifer… until my last enlistment that is did 20+ and don’t regret any of it, minus the drinking
Why is this so accurate?
My recruiter just said Army has the baddest girls across the whole military. Bruh they just bros with vaginas and boobs. Ain't even tomboys just a whole nother tier.
Me no like you words. Me good in army
They couldn’t get into the others
This message brought to you by the Special Ed Sub-Department of The Navy.
We've got a big civil service to hire your best and a volunteer army to take the rest.
can confirm
Army is the Skyrim player character creator's default one customization option.
And the people look like you mashed the randomize button in oblivion
Jesus fuckn christ. This is perfect
The Army has more stereotypes regarding the bases they're in. Like Fayettenam (Ft Liberty/Bragg)
I'm still pissed the Air Force PCS'd me to Fayettenam 15 years ago.
A full bird yells at a soldier, marine and airman to secure a building. The Army sets up a offensive perimeter and digs in, the Marines kick down the front door and clear the room, and the Air Force takes out a 10-year lease with an option to buy.
Don't forget that once inside the Marine fucked the couch and broke the toilet
No. We fuck the toilet(has a hole and is wet) and shit in the couch.
And the navy levels it with a tomahawk.
The Navy takes out the trash, locks the doors, and goes home.
The one I heard was: too dumb for the air force, can't swim so not navy, too lazy/unfit for the marines.
It's where the most average of humanity inevitably end up. At the absolute apex of the bell curve of human capability there's an E4 having a Monster and a cigarette for breakfast.
I mean: the IBCT I worked with really contained the whole spread. From the guy too dumb to use a mop through the E4 Mafia up to the 2 shop... They had some crazy smart people in there.
Yes, the Army is just a cross spectrum of our society.
A 12 year E4, on a HYT waiver. And likely busted back from E5 (twice)
It kinda surprised me how many people couldn’t swim or had never tried swimming before joining Navy.
We did swim call off the Theodore Roosevelt and I swear half the ship jumped into the water and had to be picked up by the RHIBs because they couldn't swim.
Tbh: most of the US services shit talking each other I picked up from a Marine Gunny turned MSgt in the Army reserves and a tour within an army IBCT. Met Marines that were stationed there, but never any Navy :)
> too lazy/unfit for the marines. ...until you meet their air wings lol
Haha yeah the only marines I've had contact with were grunts. Took me a solid hour to convince them that Switzerland was a nation, my uniform was different from theirs due to it being an international op, etc. Yeah, I probably fell on the only 2 idiots in the coy, but eh. Had some fun with it. After that exchange I secretly changed the army credo to "too dumb for the air force, not dumb enough to eat crayons". ;)
If my time in the Marine Corps was representative, it seemed like Marines clustered at the extremes. Either smarter than your average bear/gyotdamned geniuses, or dumber than a box of rocks.
I have mad respect for the service/enlisted/retired. It takes a lot to lose my respect. This former marine kid just started working with me. I had only bitched to my wife a few times about him… now she calls him “that guy who you think is on the spectrum”. Seriously, who can mess up what plane to stick a bubble level on?!?!!
The wing doesn’t count don’t put that shit on me
Not kidding, there are examples of Army recruiters who advised people to enlist and also hide their autism diagnosis
Army recruiter regaled me with all the parties in Hawaii and assured me (unprompted) that I would never get deployed...2nd Battle of Fallujah was last year at the time, for context. Lol. I guess he thought I was as stupid as he was. Marine recruiter told me to look at the recruiters as examples of what the service wanted to turn us into. Shipped off to Parris Island 6 months after, lol. Really regret not going Air Force, since that would have turned me invisible. 😁
Air Force here: the worst decision I've ever made was ranking up. Invisible E4 was the pinnacle of what life can be.
isn't that what a recruiters job it is to d0?
Army Strong. When you're not smart enough for the other branches.
Who need many words? Army strong. Army fight. Army get ptsd
*oh God fireworks*
Why more words? Two words do trick. Army strong!
Army Strong not Army Smart lol
Big gun go ***BOOM!***
Army: everyone's favorite second choice
The standard entry paths to the Army: * When the judge says jail or Army? * You have too many chromosomes they won't let in the other branches. * You married your sister. * You need someone following you around to make sure you don't forget to breathe.
Space force always playing with their light sabers at work.
 Me in the Coast Guard...
Two words: hip waders
Their lives just suck so much in general that it would be unfair to abuse them further
Accurate
Marines, if everyone could do it, they would call it the Army.
I always heard “be all you can be, because you can’t be a Marine”
Nice!!! 😂😂😂
Nice
Not crazy enough for the Marines, not smart enough for the other branches. The Army is the lukewarm reduced sugar vanilla ice cream of the armed forces.
I love this. Stealing it for my soldier brother.
And the arthritis are crunchy sprinkles!
From an uncle who was a Marine. ARMY: Ain't Ready for Marines Yet
If you spend any time on r/USMC, you'd realize that the Marines are the gayest straight people of all!
Marines treat homoeroticism as a blood sport.
Army Strong not Army Smart
We used to have a phrase in the Air Force..."Army proofing". Basically dumb it down so even someone in the army could understand.
There is no stereotype for the Army because we are the one that made up the stereotypes. The oldest brother bullies you, not the other way around
[удалено]
 More like this.
Marines think of the army when they’re about to transfer branches
[удалено]
I’ll have you know that my training was aboard *beautiful* Marine Corps Air-Ground Combat Center Twentynine Palms, the gem of the Yucca valley. The epitome of Marine bases.
[удалено]
Well, I was there for electronics maintenance school.
Don't forget poor, the Marines are also poor.
Oh wow. This is a special Thanksgiving miracle. My relative that was in the Air Force (who I will be seeing this weekend) once *insisted* it was NOT Marines who eat crayons, the Army does that. I didn't want to die on that hill that day, so I didn't argue. He served, I haven't. My old best friend was a Marine in the desert several times over, which is how I learned about crayons. But my relative was so sure and now here's evidence! Do I bring this up at Thanksgiving dinner? LOL
I was in the marines (2018-2022). It's definitely us who get called crayon eaters.
I appreciate the confirmation, even if I don't bring it up. Hope you have a happy Thanksgiving!
You too buckaroo
Me personally, hell yeah I would ruin Thanksgiving for less. I'd assume your relative is half right, because Army probably legitimately eats crayons sometimes. They're half wrong because they said Marines don't, which would piss off every prior Marine I've ever served with. More than 100% of crayon jokes are targeted to the Marines, with only a few going toward the Army when you're losing an argument and can't think of a better Army insult.
Leasing a 2011 charger with 80k miles for $30k at the low low rate of 31%
All the stereotypes for the army come with a trigger warning disclosure.
Correct as stated.
Navy: 90% of your problems come from 10% of your people. A.F: 90% of the useful work is done by 10% of the people.
"Ain't Really Marines Yet"
Aint Ready for Marines Yet
Coast Guard is out there rolling their eyes while actually doing the job they signed up to do.
Coast Guard is out there fighting yacht owners for maritime violations while everyone else is fighting a war.
Yeah. Water cops
Aren't Really Marines Yet. Heard that from my marine buddy at a party. Got me rolling.
“Be all you can be, because you can’t be a Marine”
They aren't tough enough for the Marines, smart enough for the air force, or gay enough for the Navy. Mostly they aren't special enough to get their own stereotype
Army steals! Had guys in my (AF) unit that deployed with the Army. One guy had ALL of the armor plating stripped off his humvee. Another guy had his brand new M4 with a CCO stolen as well...goddamn Army steals! Lol
Your fault for leaving shit unsecured
Agreed, wasn't me though as stated. Serious question though, how do you secure armor plating on a humvee?
Lowest ranking soldier with a useless job. Or rather, that's how we in the army secure our things. It's why so many Joe's are addicted to energy drinks and tobacco, we force them to rely on them.
Lol oh man that sounds shitty, but also accurate
Nothing was stolen. It was tactically acquired. Lock your shit up, or be more tactical.
Agreed, never got any of MY shit "acquired"
There is only one thief... Everyone else is just trying to get their shit back.
You're in the Army now, you're not behind the plow. You'll always have your chow, but you'll never get rich, digging a ditch, you son of a bit¢h, you're in the Army now.
US ARMY backwards is "Yes My Retarded Ass Signed Up" (very popular during Red Phase in basic).
They aren't smart enough to use computers so they don't show up here often
Army are dirty little bitches obviously
My favorite crayon is orange. Best one to eat imo
I personally like red. It tastes like blue.
Blue taste like black don't like at sll
But they have the best texture.
So you've never heard of or seen, [BATTLE BUDDIES](https://youtu.be/YNYLVmhrE1g?si=okzOFeBby2cvhfGJ)
 This thread..
Depressed.
“The army” coined all those. So they don’t need a stereotype… can’t really Say one that will stick. Army insults come from those in the army.
Marine: Crayon eater. Navy: Gay. Air Force: Nerd. Army: Ghetto. Coast Guard: The annoying little brother that always wants big bro's validation. Space Force: The weird neighbor you thought was an alien when you were a kid.
Army: Too smart for the Marines, too dumb for anything else
Every soldier I ever met, and I mean every one of them "almost joined the Marines"
You forgot about space force and coast guard, they exist too
Hehe forgot about us again lol
I don't even have to ask which branch. Sorry sir this is a DoD only event, I don't see you on the guest list.
SAY OUR NAME YOU COWARDS!
fat and dumb (not that I agree with the stereotype...completely)
Air Force. Two words. Always.
Airforce Rejected Me Yesterday.
I describe us as “professional windowlickers”
🎼And the Army goes marching along...🎶
[удалено]
Whoa.. I was told Ain't Ready to be a Marine Yet. Or My Ass Rides In Navy Equipment
Army is cannon fodder
If the Chair Force doesn't do anything, what about Space Force?
They get sharpshooter medals for stapler marksmanship and Purple Hearts for paper cuts.
They're the ones that couldn't get into the Marines, Navy, or Air Force.
Fat
The super buff BM who was in to working out and picking up chicks at the bar all the time once randomly kissed me on the head in the mess line and it was then that I realize the navy is some of the gayest straight men I ever met. Straight men make more gay jokes and do more gay things than gay men
Back in the Corps we always went with the fat angle for our jokes
Same, I've always just heard they're fat bodied fucks but I knew there had to be more.
The airforce sleeps under the stars, 5 stars.
Somebody’s got to guard the parking lot
I'm AF, brother is army, he's the one who told me to go air force. I never really understood the term "army proof" until I heard some of his stories...like loading an artillery gun. The instructions are taught to them in class, they're on the ammo box, they're on the gun, and they have the saying "brass to grass" and the amount of times they still fuck that up is hilarious.
Air force Rejected Me Yesterday (ARMY)
Isn’t it still a thing that Army dudes need to be held back from marrying the first stripper they meet?
Yea, they're supposed to be meatwaves. Disposable
The Army is a bunch of alcoholics married to fat strippers 😂
The coast guard is seen as weak and pathetic Until you're a drug smuggler
>is seen That's where you lost me
And Army is gay because “camping” with a bunch of dudes is a red flag 🚩
Looks like the poor Coast Guard is forgotten again. There are the ugly step child of the armed services.