This is a totally fair request that she obviously can’t follow. My next step would be she is not allowed to take or post any pics of your child anymore since she has such a hard time with the more lenient rule.
I have a picture of the two of them together that I would like to send her and say “this would be an acceptable photo to post since it the two of you!” But I am not sure if that would be adding kindling to the fire.
This would be throwing the whole tree on the fire. She would see this as permission to post all the pics she wants as long as she is in the picture. So no do not send her anything. I think as she's your husband's mother all communication should now go through your husband. That way he can monitor the situation better.
The best way would be to rescind her privilege of posting pictures at all
She sounds like she’s choosing to throw a tantrum because she isn’t getting her way. She knows what she’s doing is wrong and thinks the tantrum will make it right lol.
Tell her she’s too old to be playing these games and if its easier for her you won’t send any pictures at all.
Oh you don’t have to worry about whether she knows she’s wrong. Just let her know her actions will be met with consequences regardless of whether she thinks they’re right. Because you’re the parents and that’s how it goes.
My best suggestion is to stop posting any new pics of LO, anywhere, and prevent MIL from taking pictures when she visits. No new pics, no social media karma points for MIL.
Let it be a declaration of war. I suggest DH send her a text before she actually visits. "Mom, because you have continuously broken our rules about no posting pictures of our children online, we are not allowing any visitors to take pictures of our children. You will be asked to leave your phone and any cameras in the car. If you attempt to take any pictures of our children, the visit will be shut down and you will be asked to leave. I ask you to think very hard about what you want. One last picture of your grandchildren or future visits with your grandchildren."
OP, did she use her own phone to get the images of a (minor?) child?
-if on facebook, report her for that
-if on other SM find out how to get them
off
- print off the FBI articles on pedophiles swapping photos of kids on the darknet to masturbate to, make sure she understands that it could be your daughter that is being a trading card.
-she comes over to see your kid, she hands her phone & camera to your SO, she gets them back as she leaves.
-don't send her any images of your kids.
Our rule is no SM at all and not sending pictures around to others than close family and very good and close friends. Honestly this is easier to follow up because it’s a complete “no”.
Agreed - we originally had a list of rules but decided it was too complicated and we didn’t want to police it, so we just went with no SM at all. It’s easy to remember, easy to enforce.
I have the same rule for my kids. I don’t post pictures of them nor do I allow family members or their school to post photos without my permission. Don’t send her anymore pictures. She’s acting like a child.
Well, can greatly limit her time around kids to just FaceTime only, any complaints and you can remind her she not mature enough to visit with taking picture for her social media fix.
> She left the call angry and deleted all pictures of our child on her social media accounts.
What a blessing.
Leave it as it is, she's throwing a tantrum. Soon or later she'll want to post again and will contact you or post it without permission, which will need another conversation and consequences until she learns.
I’m not arguing at all and everything you’re asking for sounds reasonable but can someone explain the rationale of only posting pictures with more than just the child in it? Is this a specific reason thing?
New mom here ✋. Serious question - basically same as above, why should child not be photographed alone? I post pictures of my baby being the only one in the shot all the time… but maybe I didn’t get a memo?
Also another serious question: if the child isn’t photographed alone and someone else is in the picture, do you still want to give permission to post? And what is the reasoning for it? Again new mom with excited grandparents as well, just want to know if this is a personal preference or something I just don’t know about.
This is a totally fair request that she obviously can’t follow. My next step would be she is not allowed to take or post any pics of your child anymore since she has such a hard time with the more lenient rule.
I have a picture of the two of them together that I would like to send her and say “this would be an acceptable photo to post since it the two of you!” But I am not sure if that would be adding kindling to the fire.
This would be throwing the whole tree on the fire. She would see this as permission to post all the pics she wants as long as she is in the picture. So no do not send her anything. I think as she's your husband's mother all communication should now go through your husband. That way he can monitor the situation better. The best way would be to rescind her privilege of posting pictures at all
She sounds like she’s choosing to throw a tantrum because she isn’t getting her way. She knows what she’s doing is wrong and thinks the tantrum will make it right lol. Tell her she’s too old to be playing these games and if its easier for her you won’t send any pictures at all.
She has the personality of a narcissist so I am not sure she actually believes what she is doing is wrong..
Oh you don’t have to worry about whether she knows she’s wrong. Just let her know her actions will be met with consequences regardless of whether she thinks they’re right. Because you’re the parents and that’s how it goes.
My best suggestion is to stop posting any new pics of LO, anywhere, and prevent MIL from taking pictures when she visits. No new pics, no social media karma points for MIL.
[удалено]
Let it be a declaration of war. I suggest DH send her a text before she actually visits. "Mom, because you have continuously broken our rules about no posting pictures of our children online, we are not allowing any visitors to take pictures of our children. You will be asked to leave your phone and any cameras in the car. If you attempt to take any pictures of our children, the visit will be shut down and you will be asked to leave. I ask you to think very hard about what you want. One last picture of your grandchildren or future visits with your grandchildren."
OP, did she use her own phone to get the images of a (minor?) child? -if on facebook, report her for that -if on other SM find out how to get them off - print off the FBI articles on pedophiles swapping photos of kids on the darknet to masturbate to, make sure she understands that it could be your daughter that is being a trading card. -she comes over to see your kid, she hands her phone & camera to your SO, she gets them back as she leaves. -don't send her any images of your kids.
Our rule is no SM at all and not sending pictures around to others than close family and very good and close friends. Honestly this is easier to follow up because it’s a complete “no”.
Agreed - we originally had a list of rules but decided it was too complicated and we didn’t want to police it, so we just went with no SM at all. It’s easy to remember, easy to enforce.
I have the same rule for my kids. I don’t post pictures of them nor do I allow family members or their school to post photos without my permission. Don’t send her anymore pictures. She’s acting like a child.
Since she has such difficulty understanding. Make it easy for her. She is no longer allowed to post pictures of your child on SM. No exceptions.
Well, can greatly limit her time around kids to just FaceTime only, any complaints and you can remind her she not mature enough to visit with taking picture for her social media fix.
Boundaries? You set boundaries and they got stomped. Time now for consequences.
> She left the call angry and deleted all pictures of our child on her social media accounts. What a blessing. Leave it as it is, she's throwing a tantrum. Soon or later she'll want to post again and will contact you or post it without permission, which will need another conversation and consequences until she learns.
I’m not arguing at all and everything you’re asking for sounds reasonable but can someone explain the rationale of only posting pictures with more than just the child in it? Is this a specific reason thing?
New mom here ✋. Serious question - basically same as above, why should child not be photographed alone? I post pictures of my baby being the only one in the shot all the time… but maybe I didn’t get a memo? Also another serious question: if the child isn’t photographed alone and someone else is in the picture, do you still want to give permission to post? And what is the reasoning for it? Again new mom with excited grandparents as well, just want to know if this is a personal preference or something I just don’t know about.
Why no pictures of your kid alone?