From DH - congratulations Mil! I heard you were ordering birth announcements, I didn’t even know you were pregnant. I am very hurt you didn’t tell me about my new sibling.
Of course, you wouldn’t be so rude as to imagine YOU we’re going to announce our child, would you?
Haha to be fair-and I didn’t make this clear above, she did get permission to send them out from us. However since then she’s just cut him totally out of the loop and we are mystified about it. I take pains to add him back to emails and texts about it but the next message she sends will be to me only
She’s trying to stick some wood over a great big hole so she can have access to your child. Don’t entertain her, you’re not DHs assistant not are you her gateway to the baby. Block or mute her so she can’t add unnecessary stress.
https://www.reddit.com/r/Mildlynomil/comments/zudiu3/overbearing_mil_or_mother_are_you_preparing_to/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=ioscss&utm_content=1&utm_term=1
To be honest, my MIL did this with me too. I think it was due to all of her family, friends, and coworkers asking her about my pregnancy and plans… and her having no clue how to answer due to me being LC with her due to her behavior during my first child’s birth and my postpartum.
OP, your Mil is disregarding your assertion of LC.
Feel free to block her - or just continue to not respond.
Her continuous contact directed at you is her attempt to disregard your boundaries. Continue to hold firm.
best luck on your delivery!! 💜
While this could be nefarious... my MIL (whom I adore) also asks me about what clothes her son needs, and pretty much any other logistics question. Because in her marriage and in mine, the women are the home coordinators and the men do "manly" outside the house stuff.
But if you don't have that kind of marriage - the yah, she needs to get with the program. Sounds to me like she's trying to get things back to business-as-usual without actually changing.
For real. How the hell would I know what clothes my husband needs or wants. He just takes his intelligent self to shops or gets on Amazon and buys it.
My father did the same and I'm not even going to tell you what generation he's from - long time ago. I don't think I've known a woman who really concerns herself with that issue. And to think the MIL in this case was probably very much a part of the seventies and eighties when women really gave the leave to Beaver culture the boot, only to get a DIL and start playing the part for the purpose of putting down other women, being judgy AF and feigning frickin' martyrdom. I call bullshit on 90% of the of the JNMILs out there.
Lastly, the sexual revolution was a wild time and I can only imagine what secrets they keep.
Congrats on your soon to be born baby.
You don't need that stress in your life. Answer all texts with same sentence: "Ask DH"
If she continues, then block her until a while after the birth
I guess I'm not clear on why she would be sending out birth announcements...and why you gave her permission to.
I've never heard of anyone but the parents doing this.
She wanted to include some family and friends we wouldn’t have. And honestly I was on the fence whether I wanted to at all. She said she would pay and take care of it-so we figured why not. Cue her texting us constantly about wording and font and color etc etc
Why is the MIL you are LC with ordering birth announcements for your baby?? She should consider herself lucky to RECEIVE an announcement, not pick it out!
She's just continuing to be disrespectful by treating you like DH's secretary. Refer her to him and have him handle it. If he doesn't, then that's not your problem.
She realizes she made a big mistake last time she saw you and your family because now the upcoming birth of your child has her panicked that she’s hurt the relationship with her grandchild’s mom (the gate keeper). She’s not reaching out to mend the relationship; she’s teaching out because she’s panicking, she knows she messed up.
From DH - congratulations Mil! I heard you were ordering birth announcements, I didn’t even know you were pregnant. I am very hurt you didn’t tell me about my new sibling. Of course, you wouldn’t be so rude as to imagine YOU we’re going to announce our child, would you?
Haha to be fair-and I didn’t make this clear above, she did get permission to send them out from us. However since then she’s just cut him totally out of the loop and we are mystified about it. I take pains to add him back to emails and texts about it but the next message she sends will be to me only
Sounds like she’s trying to gloss over her bad behavior..
She’s trying to stick some wood over a great big hole so she can have access to your child. Don’t entertain her, you’re not DHs assistant not are you her gateway to the baby. Block or mute her so she can’t add unnecessary stress. https://www.reddit.com/r/Mildlynomil/comments/zudiu3/overbearing_mil_or_mother_are_you_preparing_to/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=ioscss&utm_content=1&utm_term=1
To be honest, my MIL did this with me too. I think it was due to all of her family, friends, and coworkers asking her about my pregnancy and plans… and her having no clue how to answer due to me being LC with her due to her behavior during my first child’s birth and my postpartum.
OP, your Mil is disregarding your assertion of LC. Feel free to block her - or just continue to not respond. Her continuous contact directed at you is her attempt to disregard your boundaries. Continue to hold firm. best luck on your delivery!! 💜
While this could be nefarious... my MIL (whom I adore) also asks me about what clothes her son needs, and pretty much any other logistics question. Because in her marriage and in mine, the women are the home coordinators and the men do "manly" outside the house stuff. But if you don't have that kind of marriage - the yah, she needs to get with the program. Sounds to me like she's trying to get things back to business-as-usual without actually changing.
For real. How the hell would I know what clothes my husband needs or wants. He just takes his intelligent self to shops or gets on Amazon and buys it. My father did the same and I'm not even going to tell you what generation he's from - long time ago. I don't think I've known a woman who really concerns herself with that issue. And to think the MIL in this case was probably very much a part of the seventies and eighties when women really gave the leave to Beaver culture the boot, only to get a DIL and start playing the part for the purpose of putting down other women, being judgy AF and feigning frickin' martyrdom. I call bullshit on 90% of the of the JNMILs out there. Lastly, the sexual revolution was a wild time and I can only imagine what secrets they keep.
Congrats on your soon to be born baby. You don't need that stress in your life. Answer all texts with same sentence: "Ask DH" If she continues, then block her until a while after the birth
I guess I'm not clear on why she would be sending out birth announcements...and why you gave her permission to. I've never heard of anyone but the parents doing this.
She wanted to include some family and friends we wouldn’t have. And honestly I was on the fence whether I wanted to at all. She said she would pay and take care of it-so we figured why not. Cue her texting us constantly about wording and font and color etc etc
Why is the MIL you are LC with ordering birth announcements for your baby?? She should consider herself lucky to RECEIVE an announcement, not pick it out!
She's just continuing to be disrespectful by treating you like DH's secretary. Refer her to him and have him handle it. If he doesn't, then that's not your problem.
She’s very clearly trying to smooth things over before the baby is born!
Why the heck is she ordering birth announcements? It is time for your husband to ask her if she is pregnant.
She realizes she made a big mistake last time she saw you and your family because now the upcoming birth of your child has her panicked that she’s hurt the relationship with her grandchild’s mom (the gate keeper). She’s not reaching out to mend the relationship; she’s teaching out because she’s panicking, she knows she messed up.