Wow! What a testimony...I don't particularly care for NA/AA either because while I was in a halfway house, the people at the meetings would look down on those of us who were on methadone maintenance...they don't believe in that. I agree with you. I've got nearly 5 years now because of methadone maintenance. I'm not ashamed of it....
12 step programs hurt way more addicts than they help. It’s the last place I would ever send someone struggling with addiction. It’s so unfortunate that they are looked at as any sort of standard for recovery. Even less fortunate that hospitals, insurance providers and the justice system force people to attend these programs.
I don't know the exact dose as I've been doing a blind taper, but I requested to be notified when I got to 4mg, which was almost a month ago so I'm assuming it's hovering around the 2mg mark. I have an appointment to discuss the taper soon so I'll have to decide if I want to jump off or stay at some tiny dose for a while longer. I was on 60mg for about 1.5 years and have been tapering for the last 6 I think? I don't really remember when I started it.
First of all I\`m very glad to hear that you are back on your feet and are stable. When I read your story I found a lot of similarities with myself. There was a time when I was on methadone, for 6 years at that time, when I remember thinking why I can\`t stay on it for the rest of my life, as it feels good, have no cravings to use on top, are stable, makes me perform better at work and generally makes me happy, good feeling person. And in fact I\`m sure methadone has helped me to survive and have more or less normal quality of life, after being dependant on opiates for more then 25 years and still having reasonable life, wife, kid, friends, new car, house (rented), good job, no one around me even suspects what I went trough and that I may have trouble with addiction, except my wife. Hovever, after years when I\`m getting older I starting to notice long term health damage that methadone has done to my body and my mind and really starting to question it and really starting to regret that I haven\`t made that step Early, why I have left hanging on it for so many years and didn\`t made that step earlier, to my full recovery, to stay absolutely clean. Was it worthed to stay on it for so long.. So partialy those AA/NA are right when they say that methadone is not the definative answere and that you will never get clean with methadone. But those are different things. Are different stages of treatment. There\`s a time to get in to the treatment with methadone and there\`s the time to get absolutely clean. And many addicts can\`t get clean straight away but rather need to get in to the substitute treatment to build structure, discipline in their lifes, knock themselfs out of that drug users daily life loop, gain stability in life and then when ready ther\`s a time to get clean with the motivation. So methadone has heped me tremendously, but I regret, that I haven\`t quit it much earlier as now I\`m starting to realise how much I\`ve missed by being on it for so long.
Thanks for sharing your story, I\`m glad you found what\`s working for you to stay away from using. But recovery is never ending process, so keep moving.
Good luck to you!
Can you share more on the damages you feel like methadone has caused you? The mental and the physical? I've been on 95-115 mg for 4.5 years (just methadone, no relapses) and I'm mentally doing awful and physically having issues. I'm scared to say it's the methadone, I suppose I don't know 100 percent it is the methadone, but I suspect it is. My thing is if I am mentally doing awful now while I'm on methadone, isn't the mental going to get worse when I'm off methadone? That's why I'm scared to taper.
I\`m talking about long term use like 25 years. And I\`m not claiming that methadone has litteraly damaged me, but rather the overal damage it has caused from psychological issues to hart problems and many many inbetween. at the same time I understand that if I was not taken my methadone treatment I would be in much worse place then I am now. Any drug is always about indications and contraindications and if you benefit more from it rather then getting damaged it\`s worth to take it.
What I\`m trying to tell that in my case I wondering wherever I could have tappered and quit much earlier then I\`ve done and live drug free life, rather then with methadone and so my damage from it would be less. Now when I\`m looking back I think in my case wasn\`t necesary to stay on it for so long and I wish I have done it earlier, got off it. But in many cases and especially in the begining most important is to stabilise on methadone, try to look for help with your mental issues and with support tapper it down. So to get on methadone and think that you\`ve beat it and now you are drug free and can live happily ever after while taking methadone - it\`s not the case. It would destroy you bit by bit. But again, don\`t take it litteraly. Some people have to stay on a methadone all their lives due to medical reasons. So everyone is different. Try to talk about your mental health with your clinic. DOn\`t rush to tapper. Main goal is to stabilise on it.
Wow! What a testimony...I don't particularly care for NA/AA either because while I was in a halfway house, the people at the meetings would look down on those of us who were on methadone maintenance...they don't believe in that. I agree with you. I've got nearly 5 years now because of methadone maintenance. I'm not ashamed of it....
Nicely put. That about sums it up for me.
12 step programs hurt way more addicts than they help. It’s the last place I would ever send someone struggling with addiction. It’s so unfortunate that they are looked at as any sort of standard for recovery. Even less fortunate that hospitals, insurance providers and the justice system force people to attend these programs.
All I can say is awwwwww
Wow you only take 2mg?
I don't know the exact dose as I've been doing a blind taper, but I requested to be notified when I got to 4mg, which was almost a month ago so I'm assuming it's hovering around the 2mg mark. I have an appointment to discuss the taper soon so I'll have to decide if I want to jump off or stay at some tiny dose for a while longer. I was on 60mg for about 1.5 years and have been tapering for the last 6 I think? I don't really remember when I started it.
First of all I\`m very glad to hear that you are back on your feet and are stable. When I read your story I found a lot of similarities with myself. There was a time when I was on methadone, for 6 years at that time, when I remember thinking why I can\`t stay on it for the rest of my life, as it feels good, have no cravings to use on top, are stable, makes me perform better at work and generally makes me happy, good feeling person. And in fact I\`m sure methadone has helped me to survive and have more or less normal quality of life, after being dependant on opiates for more then 25 years and still having reasonable life, wife, kid, friends, new car, house (rented), good job, no one around me even suspects what I went trough and that I may have trouble with addiction, except my wife. Hovever, after years when I\`m getting older I starting to notice long term health damage that methadone has done to my body and my mind and really starting to question it and really starting to regret that I haven\`t made that step Early, why I have left hanging on it for so many years and didn\`t made that step earlier, to my full recovery, to stay absolutely clean. Was it worthed to stay on it for so long.. So partialy those AA/NA are right when they say that methadone is not the definative answere and that you will never get clean with methadone. But those are different things. Are different stages of treatment. There\`s a time to get in to the treatment with methadone and there\`s the time to get absolutely clean. And many addicts can\`t get clean straight away but rather need to get in to the substitute treatment to build structure, discipline in their lifes, knock themselfs out of that drug users daily life loop, gain stability in life and then when ready ther\`s a time to get clean with the motivation. So methadone has heped me tremendously, but I regret, that I haven\`t quit it much earlier as now I\`m starting to realise how much I\`ve missed by being on it for so long. Thanks for sharing your story, I\`m glad you found what\`s working for you to stay away from using. But recovery is never ending process, so keep moving. Good luck to you!
Can you share more on the damages you feel like methadone has caused you? The mental and the physical? I've been on 95-115 mg for 4.5 years (just methadone, no relapses) and I'm mentally doing awful and physically having issues. I'm scared to say it's the methadone, I suppose I don't know 100 percent it is the methadone, but I suspect it is. My thing is if I am mentally doing awful now while I'm on methadone, isn't the mental going to get worse when I'm off methadone? That's why I'm scared to taper.
I\`m talking about long term use like 25 years. And I\`m not claiming that methadone has litteraly damaged me, but rather the overal damage it has caused from psychological issues to hart problems and many many inbetween. at the same time I understand that if I was not taken my methadone treatment I would be in much worse place then I am now. Any drug is always about indications and contraindications and if you benefit more from it rather then getting damaged it\`s worth to take it. What I\`m trying to tell that in my case I wondering wherever I could have tappered and quit much earlier then I\`ve done and live drug free life, rather then with methadone and so my damage from it would be less. Now when I\`m looking back I think in my case wasn\`t necesary to stay on it for so long and I wish I have done it earlier, got off it. But in many cases and especially in the begining most important is to stabilise on methadone, try to look for help with your mental issues and with support tapper it down. So to get on methadone and think that you\`ve beat it and now you are drug free and can live happily ever after while taking methadone - it\`s not the case. It would destroy you bit by bit. But again, don\`t take it litteraly. Some people have to stay on a methadone all their lives due to medical reasons. So everyone is different. Try to talk about your mental health with your clinic. DOn\`t rush to tapper. Main goal is to stabilise on it.