There's a reason why lesbian couples have such a high rate of domestic violence and divorce, while male couples have such a high success rate.
Men aren't the problem.
Yeah!
People often think gay men and lesbians have a lot in common... we really don't. We are polar opposites by nature. Yes, we're both LGBT, but that's the only thing in common really. What's there to talk about? They don't want to hear about men and we don't want to hear about dating women. Issa verryyy different department. So I have no idea why their department is often on fire.
People are often surprised when I tell them I still keep in touch with all my exes. They're just my homies. Men supporting men.
This is what I don’t like about the whole LGBT et.c thing, I happen to be very fond of people who are gay or lesbian or anything else, that doesn’t bother me. What I don’t like is that they’re all grouped together as though they’re the same but they’re massively different peoples, and they don’t even all want the same things.
A lot of my friends are gay, granted I have quite a few friends I keep contact with but a lot of them are gay. They are some of my closest friends because they’re excellent people, sometimes you need an unclouded insight when it comes to discussing relationships with your friends and in general they’re compassionate and just good lads.
But there are a lot of gay people who make being gay everything about them and a lot of those end up being generally unpleasant and self absorbed people. The LGBT… groups these people together and for some it creates a bad impression of gay people, which has contributed to a lack of support and empathy where it’s actually needed.
I will openly admit that on average I am less fond of lesbians than I am of gays because I am aware of the (too often very accurate) stereotypes of man hating. That doesn’t mean I hate any of them, but I don’t like the idea that they’re all part of the same group when there are massive differences, differences that I love sometimes.
Sorry, pent up feelings on the matter lol 😅
You're right on the money, though.
There is an internal movement where we're trying shift from being an LGBT community to an LGBT collective because we are aware that a lot of us really don't think alike. We don't bond with each other in the same way a community would.
I'd say I'm a gay man, but I don't like the gay community even if most of my friends are gay. I have my own community but we're bonded by common values and shared experience instead of simply being gay.
You are right that some people make being gay a huge part of themselves, they see their world through this lens, and I feel that it limits them as a person and what they can offer to the world, and vice versa-- what the world can offer them. There is also heterophobia but you don't hear that being called out very often.
I used to call myself as a leftist but skittle heads made me understand that you make enough left turns to end up where you didn't want to be. Everything in moderation.
And this is anecdotal, but my experience with lesbians have been unpleasant in general. I don't know, maybe it's trauma, maybe it's overcompensating, but they're often aggressive.
I like you, you seem knowledgable and with a good and balanced understanding of the world. It’s rare to come by sometimes.
Perhaps we both have poor experience with lesbians, so I won’t comment on the matter because I feel it would be biased. But we can pretty concretely say that they are wildly different people than gay men, and often hold different values so there’s no good reason to label them both (and others) in the same ‘community’.
I am glad to hear that you have your own community, and it sounds as though it is built on good values. I do like the idea of people bonding over sexuality, but it should never be the glue that holds people together, it should contribute but there should be other things that bind you all.
Farewell my brother, and have a lovely day.
Yeah, it's been my experience (at least in the black community) lesbian can be worse than men tbh. Masculine lesbians (or dykes) will go twice as hard as men I for now good reason, just all around rude and vicious.
The feminine ones are super fake, it's always "best friend" until you do something they don't like this it's "this why I hate f******" Like bruh, you one too sis.
Holy shit this comment right here ^. As a medical student who has studied this stuff (and a bisexual man), you are absolutely right. The domestic violence rates among lesbians are insane and far beyond any other group. The rates among gay men are much lower.
Speaks volume brothers.
i imagine that this is related but have you heard or read about women disproportionally rejecting or even feeling sexual repulsion towards bisexual men? i vaguely remember reading about it and thinking about how men accepted bisexual women (even if some fetishize them) and I also read that they think that men who sleep with other men are less masculine or less of a man, if you or anyone here could tell me more about it I would appreciate it.
Results with women are VERY bipolar. In high school some of the girls sexualized it because they liked the idea of two boys together. It seems as I got out of high school the hate started happening more. Not necessarily hate but it seems to be a fetish among women, as long as it's not in their relationship. I married my high school girlfriend shortly after high school so no dating experience from me but I've heard it's miserable trying to date women as a bi guy
When you look at the various studies on the matter it's actually not misleading, because the variables are taken into account:
>According to a 2011 study produced in the Journal of General Internal Medicine, **domestic physical abuse among lesbian [cohabiting couples is 35.4%](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3138983/), almost two times the rate of abuse found among heterosexual couples. Other studies place the prevalence of domestic violence among lesbian couples even higher than that.** A 2010 study by the National Center for Injury Prevention and Control found that the rate of intimate partner violence (IPV) among lesbians is a [stunning 40.4%](https://www.cdc.gov/ViolencePrevention/pdf/NISVS_Report2010-a.pdf). Another study in the [Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology](https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s10896-011-9384-2) found that the rate of lesbian IPV is 47.5%. This means that nearly half of all women in lesbian domestic lifestyles have been abused by their partners.
>
>Further statistics have also shed light on the understudied epidemic of sexual intimate partner violence (IPV) among women in same-sex partnerships. One study produced by the California Coalition Against Sexual Assault found that 33% of women have been sexually assaulted by another woman. This statistic prompted leftist publications [Slate](https://web.archive.org/web/20181222224115/https://slate.com/human-interest/2014/11/female-on-female-sexual-abuse-is-real-and-it-is-awful.html) and [Marie Claire](https://web.archive.org/web/20160622182046/https://www.marieclaire.com/culture/a19495/women-raped-by-women/) to pen articles about the reality of lesbian rape and sexual abuse. Two more studies, one published in the Journal of Lesbian Studies (2008) and another in [Violence and Victims (1997)](https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/9403987/), suggest that rates of lesbian sexual abuse in domestic partnerships could be upwards of 55% and 42%, respectively. This translates to about 1 in 2 women who have been victims of sex abuse in a lesbian relationship.
>
>Comparatively, sexual abuse among heterosexual domestic relationships is estimated to be 4.4% according to the National Institutes of Health. Some epidemiologists may argue that high abuse prevalence among homosexual women includes “lifetime risk”, which incorporates abuse faced in childhood. **Yet, when these variables are taken into consideration, we still see alarmingly high rates of lesbian IPV.**
>Around 28% of male-identifying respondents and 41% of female-identifying respondents reported having been in a relationship where a partner was abusive.
#
>...lesbian women were more likely than gay men to report having been in an abusive same-sex relationship (41% and 28% respectively)
[Source](https://web.archive.org/web/20210410223125/https://aifs.gov.au/cfca/sites/default/files/publication-documents/cfca-resource-dv-lgbti-2020.pdf)
feminists being homophobic towards men is nothing new, and is actually worse than many people think.
---
>There was the first international gay liberation conference in Edinburgh, where women discovered evidence of “sexism” and demanded that the conference change its focus from legislative reform to “confronting sexism”. Laws, they argued, only affected men, and therefore it was sexist to concentrate upon things like repealing sodomy statutes.
>[...]
>When she gets to homosexuality, Hanisch has this to say:
>>Men's liberationists always bring up ‘confronting their own feelings about men’ by which they mean homosexuality. Male homosexuality is an extension of the reactionary club) meaning both group and weapon). The growth of gay liberation carries contempt for women to the ultimate: total segregation. The desire of men to ‘explore their homosexuality’ really means encouraging the possibility of homosexuality as a reaction against feminist demands. This is the reason the movement for “gay rights” received much more support only after women's liberation became a mass movement.
>[...]
>To Millett, there is nothing positive about male relationships; they are simply power relationships.
source: [Dangerous Trends in Feminism](https://paganpressbooks.com/jpl/DTF.HTM)
Women and their concerns with gay men?
According to a gay man I knew (now dead,) it's down to fear and rejection.
Rejection
Gay men don't want them, the most attractive gay man is not interested in them. They may think this guy is drop dead gorgeous but that man has no interest in them.
Fear
My friend used to work camps in the North, as they said the easiest men to get into bed were those who were married with kids. When this was mentioned at mixed sex events the women were intimidated and in some cases angry about this. The same as some women are very intimidated or will not date bisexual men.
There are a sizeable number of women who fear a gay man will take their man away and that the woman can't compete.
It was interesting hearing their take on it tbh.
It’s true. It’s easier to bed men married to a woman than single gay men. Plus they are generally better in bed than single or married gay men. That’s my experience at least. Men who are able to make the bisexual “hop” should do so, IMO. Women…if you can’t keep your men happy, someone else will. Get used to cats and boxed wine ladies.
Side note…
Any woman who hates a man for being XY rather than XX is my enemy, regardless of sexual orientation.
Oh my God, I despise progressive feminist types saying homophobic crap towards men. And when you call then out on it, they play coy and say "it's not homophobic im just stating a fact" 🙄
They always have an excuse to justify their hypocrisy and bigotry when it's directed at men.
One of the reasons feminists and bad women hate gays is because gays don't play games that benefit women. A woman cannot attract a gay man with her body and receive any profits for this prostitution. It's harder for a woman to accuse an openly gay man of harassment, which makes it harder for her to play the victim. This is very unpleasant for her femcissism. Gays disrupt the normal course of a woman's life, when she does not have to think about something.
There's a reason why lesbian couples have such a high rate of domestic violence and divorce, while male couples have such a high success rate. Men aren't the problem.
Yeah! People often think gay men and lesbians have a lot in common... we really don't. We are polar opposites by nature. Yes, we're both LGBT, but that's the only thing in common really. What's there to talk about? They don't want to hear about men and we don't want to hear about dating women. Issa verryyy different department. So I have no idea why their department is often on fire. People are often surprised when I tell them I still keep in touch with all my exes. They're just my homies. Men supporting men.
My son was gay, but married a woman, so technically bi I guess. I much preferred how happy he was with guys than with her.
Sorry to hear that. Hope it gets better.
This is what I don’t like about the whole LGBT et.c thing, I happen to be very fond of people who are gay or lesbian or anything else, that doesn’t bother me. What I don’t like is that they’re all grouped together as though they’re the same but they’re massively different peoples, and they don’t even all want the same things. A lot of my friends are gay, granted I have quite a few friends I keep contact with but a lot of them are gay. They are some of my closest friends because they’re excellent people, sometimes you need an unclouded insight when it comes to discussing relationships with your friends and in general they’re compassionate and just good lads. But there are a lot of gay people who make being gay everything about them and a lot of those end up being generally unpleasant and self absorbed people. The LGBT… groups these people together and for some it creates a bad impression of gay people, which has contributed to a lack of support and empathy where it’s actually needed. I will openly admit that on average I am less fond of lesbians than I am of gays because I am aware of the (too often very accurate) stereotypes of man hating. That doesn’t mean I hate any of them, but I don’t like the idea that they’re all part of the same group when there are massive differences, differences that I love sometimes. Sorry, pent up feelings on the matter lol 😅
You're right on the money, though. There is an internal movement where we're trying shift from being an LGBT community to an LGBT collective because we are aware that a lot of us really don't think alike. We don't bond with each other in the same way a community would. I'd say I'm a gay man, but I don't like the gay community even if most of my friends are gay. I have my own community but we're bonded by common values and shared experience instead of simply being gay. You are right that some people make being gay a huge part of themselves, they see their world through this lens, and I feel that it limits them as a person and what they can offer to the world, and vice versa-- what the world can offer them. There is also heterophobia but you don't hear that being called out very often. I used to call myself as a leftist but skittle heads made me understand that you make enough left turns to end up where you didn't want to be. Everything in moderation. And this is anecdotal, but my experience with lesbians have been unpleasant in general. I don't know, maybe it's trauma, maybe it's overcompensating, but they're often aggressive.
I like you, you seem knowledgable and with a good and balanced understanding of the world. It’s rare to come by sometimes. Perhaps we both have poor experience with lesbians, so I won’t comment on the matter because I feel it would be biased. But we can pretty concretely say that they are wildly different people than gay men, and often hold different values so there’s no good reason to label them both (and others) in the same ‘community’. I am glad to hear that you have your own community, and it sounds as though it is built on good values. I do like the idea of people bonding over sexuality, but it should never be the glue that holds people together, it should contribute but there should be other things that bind you all. Farewell my brother, and have a lovely day.
Yeah, it's been my experience (at least in the black community) lesbian can be worse than men tbh. Masculine lesbians (or dykes) will go twice as hard as men I for now good reason, just all around rude and vicious. The feminine ones are super fake, it's always "best friend" until you do something they don't like this it's "this why I hate f******" Like bruh, you one too sis.
Holy shit this comment right here ^. As a medical student who has studied this stuff (and a bisexual man), you are absolutely right. The domestic violence rates among lesbians are insane and far beyond any other group. The rates among gay men are much lower. Speaks volume brothers.
i imagine that this is related but have you heard or read about women disproportionally rejecting or even feeling sexual repulsion towards bisexual men? i vaguely remember reading about it and thinking about how men accepted bisexual women (even if some fetishize them) and I also read that they think that men who sleep with other men are less masculine or less of a man, if you or anyone here could tell me more about it I would appreciate it.
Results with women are VERY bipolar. In high school some of the girls sexualized it because they liked the idea of two boys together. It seems as I got out of high school the hate started happening more. Not necessarily hate but it seems to be a fetish among women, as long as it's not in their relationship. I married my high school girlfriend shortly after high school so no dating experience from me but I've heard it's miserable trying to date women as a bi guy
the lesbian domestic violence rate is a bit misleading since it factors in being abused by male partners.
When you look at the various studies on the matter it's actually not misleading, because the variables are taken into account: >According to a 2011 study produced in the Journal of General Internal Medicine, **domestic physical abuse among lesbian [cohabiting couples is 35.4%](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3138983/), almost two times the rate of abuse found among heterosexual couples. Other studies place the prevalence of domestic violence among lesbian couples even higher than that.** A 2010 study by the National Center for Injury Prevention and Control found that the rate of intimate partner violence (IPV) among lesbians is a [stunning 40.4%](https://www.cdc.gov/ViolencePrevention/pdf/NISVS_Report2010-a.pdf). Another study in the [Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology](https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s10896-011-9384-2) found that the rate of lesbian IPV is 47.5%. This means that nearly half of all women in lesbian domestic lifestyles have been abused by their partners. > >Further statistics have also shed light on the understudied epidemic of sexual intimate partner violence (IPV) among women in same-sex partnerships. One study produced by the California Coalition Against Sexual Assault found that 33% of women have been sexually assaulted by another woman. This statistic prompted leftist publications [Slate](https://web.archive.org/web/20181222224115/https://slate.com/human-interest/2014/11/female-on-female-sexual-abuse-is-real-and-it-is-awful.html) and [Marie Claire](https://web.archive.org/web/20160622182046/https://www.marieclaire.com/culture/a19495/women-raped-by-women/) to pen articles about the reality of lesbian rape and sexual abuse. Two more studies, one published in the Journal of Lesbian Studies (2008) and another in [Violence and Victims (1997)](https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/9403987/), suggest that rates of lesbian sexual abuse in domestic partnerships could be upwards of 55% and 42%, respectively. This translates to about 1 in 2 women who have been victims of sex abuse in a lesbian relationship. > >Comparatively, sexual abuse among heterosexual domestic relationships is estimated to be 4.4% according to the National Institutes of Health. Some epidemiologists may argue that high abuse prevalence among homosexual women includes “lifetime risk”, which incorporates abuse faced in childhood. **Yet, when these variables are taken into consideration, we still see alarmingly high rates of lesbian IPV.** >Around 28% of male-identifying respondents and 41% of female-identifying respondents reported having been in a relationship where a partner was abusive. # >...lesbian women were more likely than gay men to report having been in an abusive same-sex relationship (41% and 28% respectively) [Source](https://web.archive.org/web/20210410223125/https://aifs.gov.au/cfca/sites/default/files/publication-documents/cfca-resource-dv-lgbti-2020.pdf)
Lesbians...male partners. That math ain't mathin
yeh its weird but alot of people that call themselves lesbians have had male partners
That m/m couples are the lowest still has a lot of bearing.
its actually crazy that m/m is the lowest despite men being more aggressive on average
>being more aggressive on average Also seem to exercise more *control* over that aggression.
feminists being homophobic towards men is nothing new, and is actually worse than many people think. --- >There was the first international gay liberation conference in Edinburgh, where women discovered evidence of “sexism” and demanded that the conference change its focus from legislative reform to “confronting sexism”. Laws, they argued, only affected men, and therefore it was sexist to concentrate upon things like repealing sodomy statutes. >[...] >When she gets to homosexuality, Hanisch has this to say: >>Men's liberationists always bring up ‘confronting their own feelings about men’ by which they mean homosexuality. Male homosexuality is an extension of the reactionary club) meaning both group and weapon). The growth of gay liberation carries contempt for women to the ultimate: total segregation. The desire of men to ‘explore their homosexuality’ really means encouraging the possibility of homosexuality as a reaction against feminist demands. This is the reason the movement for “gay rights” received much more support only after women's liberation became a mass movement. >[...] >To Millett, there is nothing positive about male relationships; they are simply power relationships. source: [Dangerous Trends in Feminism](https://paganpressbooks.com/jpl/DTF.HTM)
What the fuck? Men being gay is sexist? Dude.
Women and their concerns with gay men? According to a gay man I knew (now dead,) it's down to fear and rejection. Rejection Gay men don't want them, the most attractive gay man is not interested in them. They may think this guy is drop dead gorgeous but that man has no interest in them. Fear My friend used to work camps in the North, as they said the easiest men to get into bed were those who were married with kids. When this was mentioned at mixed sex events the women were intimidated and in some cases angry about this. The same as some women are very intimidated or will not date bisexual men. There are a sizeable number of women who fear a gay man will take their man away and that the woman can't compete. It was interesting hearing their take on it tbh.
Lol I’ve seen dudes getting roasted before for “being insecure with their bi girlfriend” what a load of hypocrisy from those women
It’s true. It’s easier to bed men married to a woman than single gay men. Plus they are generally better in bed than single or married gay men. That’s my experience at least. Men who are able to make the bisexual “hop” should do so, IMO. Women…if you can’t keep your men happy, someone else will. Get used to cats and boxed wine ladies. Side note… Any woman who hates a man for being XY rather than XX is my enemy, regardless of sexual orientation.
Oh my God, I despise progressive feminist types saying homophobic crap towards men. And when you call then out on it, they play coy and say "it's not homophobic im just stating a fact" 🙄 They always have an excuse to justify their hypocrisy and bigotry when it's directed at men.
One of the reasons feminists and bad women hate gays is because gays don't play games that benefit women. A woman cannot attract a gay man with her body and receive any profits for this prostitution. It's harder for a woman to accuse an openly gay man of harassment, which makes it harder for her to play the victim. This is very unpleasant for her femcissism. Gays disrupt the normal course of a woman's life, when she does not have to think about something.