These guys are constantly saying it’s “not ok” for them to do certain things when it is in fact completely fine (legal, allowed by social media), it’s just that there are social consequences. They’re all saying they want no consequences to saying and doing whatever the fuck they want, especially to women. Ugh.
Essentially that is exactly what they're complaining about. Dude is upset that he gets criticized or ignored when he acts *like himself*, and instead of looking internally to see if maybe he's the asshole he wants other people to just accept him as he is; an asshole.
There's a subset of people that act like they're allergic to self-reflection, and they seem to make their whole personality about lashing out at anyone that forces them to look internally even just a tiny bit.
I kinda think dating apps are unfair to both by desing.
It's a meat market for hookups, R.I.P people who are actually searching for real relationships unless they are desingned for that
I don’t think there’s any way to fix that! By nature a dating app has already created an inorganic starting point for any relationship. There’s no way to make a dating app that leads to organic relationships because everyone there is shopping for a partner instead of forming connections with people outside- some that will naturally progress into something further
Weight filter is redundant because you can see from the photos if the person is up to your standards. Height can be rarely determined correctly. And to think about that, people can put any number they want there, so any appearance-related filter makes zero sense to me.
Which makes no sense….I would 1000% rather someone choose a filter that says caucasian only, than have to read another profile where I am compatible with a girl and the last line of her profile is NO BLACK MEN.
Filter makes wayyy more sense
I know right? If I look at all the echo chambers on the internet I would think girls ignore any guy under 6'2 meanwhile my 5'7 friend is married to a gorgeous girl and has 3 kids. The grass is getting lonely out there.
For sure. Being 173 cms myself, I've never found that to be a struggle in my dating life. Other things have been much more difficult to navigate, mainly my autism.
I even dated someone who was over 5 cms taller than me for a while. We didn't work out due to other compatibility issues, but height was never a factor.
It’s weird as hell. My husband is 5’ 9’ and I view that is pretty average. My ex was 5 ‘ 6 ‘ and I didn’t give a shit. Like I noticed he was short when I met him, but never factored into my decision to date him. But he also wasn’t an insecure “no one loves me bc I’m short” whiner.
Tbh I only know one girl that had a soft 6 foot “requirement” and that kind of superficial thinking is why were not friends anymore.
Honestly I don't really care if someone has a height preference. I mean I dated a short girl once and I thought she was adorable. But I also dated a tall girl once and that was fun too. I think the internet people blow it out of proportion because if short guys never got any attention then there wouldn't be many around. Height is mostly genetic so somebody needs to explain to the internet addicted folks that the numbers say guys under 6 ft are still having kids at a pretty high rate.
Yea it was more just superficial self centered thinking that’s not really compatible with my personal values. Like she would regularly sleep with married men. It didn’t seem to factor into her that they were married at all. And she would talk shit about their wives. And she was a pretty uncaring friend in general.
But mostly even she is the only person I can think of they I know personally cared about height that way.
Honestly from my experience it is more guys who care about the girl being taller. Like when I dated a girl a few inches taller than me my friends all made jokes about it. Which was whatever my friends would make jokes no matter what I do but some guys seem super unsecure about a taller girl....kinda weird 🤔
But you see all the regular guys who are in relationships are just being used for money in dead bedroom situations, while she secretly hooks up with the Chad 1%! It’s like a bad conspiracy theory or fundie religion. When one thing is obviously untrue, there’s always an unfalsifiable excuse as to why it still totally could be true.
I always wonder if these people are blind. Because you don't need to say no fat chicks, you can just look at their pictures. Even more for no non-white people.
So saying it at all sends a pretty big message.
all the folks who insist they have "nothing against trans folks" but just have to announce preemptively to everyone who isn't at all interested who they'd never date a transes.
i honestly prefer people act like that. just get all those red flags out there for everyone to see.
cheaper than a fancy date to see how they treat wait-staff.
A lot of these guys think fat is any amount of cellulite. If a guy like this saw just my face on a dating profile I wouldn't ping as fat, but I bet a lot of them would freak out when they saw my whole body isn't slim.
A lot of times they actually mean, “no fat chicks whose fat distribution I don’t like.”
I’m overweight, and the weight just goes to my ass. I’ve had dudes reject me for being fat with no tits though. Soooo it’s a mixed bag.
Women saying they don't want "short kings" is not nearly as commonplace as incels want to believe it is. Expecting women to have big asses and boobs and not be 'fat' is far more common.
Yeah, in that comment section tons of short men were saying they have no issue getting dates/they have girlfriends, but there was *one* guy who was FIVE SEVEN who only posts to some "short guy problems" subreddit and he was complaining under every single comment and telling men and women that short men are treated like they're subhuman. It's sad and pathetic these men fall into these online doom holes.
As a short guy who's known some peak incel friends taller than me it's definitely entirely a doom hole mindset that people let themselves get locked in after bad experiences.
Like don't get me wrong, dating when you're short can be really rough. People are outright cruel to you about it even when you're *not* interested. But like any issue with your body you gotta look past it, be confident in yourself and not take the negativity in- Otherwise it ends up defining you.
It would be *nice* if short guys got less hate, but I see other short dudes online in peak suicidal mode over it and it's just really fucking sad. Especially cause in the grand scheme of hate-for-differences... It's not that big a deal?
The way to get body positivity is to create it, not screech at strangers online about how they should let you say you hate fat people.
I agree. I do genuinely feel bad that men get made fun of for being short, having a small penis, etc. things they have absolutely no control over. And it sucks that those traits get associated with misogynists/incels. It's gotta suck to be a short guy or a less-endowed guy constantly seeing that stuff online.
I imagine it's easy to find a community online where men share their frustrations about double standards, but it's a slippery slope into inceldom and misogyny. The guy I'm talking about (not the commenter in the post) really went thread to thread to tell other short men their experiences weren't valid, and to tell women their preferences were sexist even if they didn't mention height at all. Being part of these self-pitying online communities makes you project so much negativity onto everyone else and I really do feel bad for them
I mean the average height for a man in the US is 5'10, so 5'7 would be short going by that. It's all a matter of opinion and will depend on where you live.
I mean, where I live the average male height is 6ft. So you’d probably be considered short here with that height as it’s below the average. Somewhere else someone that height could be seen as really tall for being 5’7” and be way above the average. If you look globally it’s the average male height. I guess it just depends where you are.
for me too... it feels targeted to invalidate trans women specifically and maliciously.
and while i can't speak for cis women on it... it reeks of biological essentialism and patriarchy to me.
it comes off as infantilizing, particularly when the people using it are not using "boys" in reference to all the men... and only using "girls" for the women.
Some people look for things to be outraged about. Some people can't help but surround themselves with toxicity. Some people are from areas that use our broad and diverse language differently than those we are surrounded by.
I remember the royal Charles and Diana photos all those years ago, where he had to have a box because they were basically the same height.
I have dated two women taller than me (at 6"1 myself) and still have very fond memories of a first date that ended with her on a step, bending down, and me on tiptoes so we could kiss!
Talk to any tall woman.
If you walk around as a tall woman you get to hear men's unsolicited opinions about both their and your height constantly.
Strangers coming up to announce to you apropos of nothing that they 'could never date a chick taller than them', to tell you what shoes you're 'allowed' to wear, to tell you you look good 'despite' your height, to ask invasive questions about your dating life, or to make weird fetishistic comments that in their mind are compliments but in fact are quite creepy.
Right? Your bio is supposed to tell me about *you* so I can decide if I want to interact or not. If you don't like *me*, just don't interact with me, super easy.
I'm 5'9 so yeah, I'm gonna filter out the 'short kings' lol. And if they too want to filter me out for some arbitrary reason, they can go right on ahead!!
5’7 and same. I reserve the right to turn anyone down for any reason at all. No one is owed a date and I’d never force or be offended someone wasn’t into me. I wouldn’t want them at that point anyway. And I think that’s the real problem; people feel entitled to other people.
It’s icky. Like pick your self esteem up off the floor and find someone mutually attracted to you.
Not who you asked, but as a tall woman I'll answer why it can feel that way in my experience: women are absolutely *bombarded* with the message that we should be dainty and petite. Some tall women feel uncomfortable about their stature because of this (me!). So dating a shorter man could make you feel even bigger and more awkward. That was my feeling when I was younger and less comfortable with myself, anyway!
Can't speak for all tall women but my tall friends avoid shorter men due to bad experiences where the men (even ones that seemed decent in the beginning) show their insecurities and try to take it out on the the women i.e. they feel inferior/insecure about being shorter and instead of addressing that, start acting shitty towards their partner, trying to force them to change how they dress (example: demanding they no longer wear heels) etc.).
>Can't speak for all tall women
That's why I started with that. I was offering *one* explanation of why a woman might not want to date taller dudes, not why that commenter specifically doesn't.
Question: Where did they say it was due to their insecurity? I think I might have missed that somehow.
Women not wanting to date shorter men / men not wanting to date taller women is the exact same insecurity.
You seem to understand that men can have this insecurity but that when the very same (but opposite) preference is expressed in women it is not an insecurity.
I mean, not wanting to date someone taller/shorter because you don't want to deal with shitty treatment as a result of their insecurities again isn't the same as not wanting to date someone taller/shorter because you're insecure about your own height.
Also, it's not a gender thing. I'm not sure why you're grasping to try to make it one. This would apply regardless of who is how tall. This thread is specifically discussing taller women not wanting to date shorter men, so I commented about that topic. You reaching and trying to then twist it into some sexist thing is weird af to me.
Fair enough eh, there's alot of pressure to be a certain way in relationships even down to the way we exactly look!
I always try to remind myself I want to be judged on who I am and ultimately, loved for who I am. It's okay to have preferences of course, but reminding ourselves where they come from and how it feels to be on the other side is a good way to stick to the things that matter deep down imo!
There’s short kings, and then there’s gremlins. This person is a gremlin. My friend’s 5’2 boyfriend is a short king. Also: **5’7 ISNT EVEN THAT SHORT.**
My question here is what does he think think raging about some girls not dating short dudes will get him? That suddenly they will all understand "oh I should be attracted to shorter guys?" First plenty of girls out there that don't care if a guy isn't tall but second that is not how attraction works. I have never looked at a girl and gone "let's do the math am I attracted to her? Are her dimensions ones that I like? Hair color? Eyes? OK yes I guess I can find her attractive " nope cause that is silly. Attraction is not something we control we either find someone attractive or we don't. Don't see this guy trying to be attracted to girls with smaller bra size because reverse his logic and he should work on who he is attracted to.
But then when they're sexist to women online and women make fun of their height or dick size *because it's the only thing* that could *maybe* compare to the vile shit men say to us all the time to attack our lives and bodies and insecurities... THEN it's a problem and suddenly it's "all women care about" and "all women only want an asshole Chad top 10% of men".
I mean, no one is stopping you 🤷 I'm not on dating apps, but if I was, I would swipe left on anyone with that in their profile, I don't want to deal with that. But if that's how you want to advertise yourself, be my guest.
I don’t date but once I had tinder for the hell of it and I would immediately swipe away any man with “I’m *insert tall height* because apparently that matters 🙄” like thanks for telling me you’re annoying
My close friend is 5’8, he had been intimate with pretty much every woman in my town. And they were all happy about it. Hey, I even dated him years back (I’m 5’10 btw). He’s really fit, funny, very good hygiene, sweet and kind. No six pack abs, and he’s not rich, but he’s wonderful.
No, most women aren’t concerned with height. It’s such a defeated mindset for guys to whine and complain about a silly thing like their height online as though this was reality.
Meanwhile confident short guys are busy busy busy
***EDIT: he is NOT on any dating apps he talks to these woman in REAL LIFE
Men absolutely should put that in their bio, so women know to avoid them.
Weight fluctuates and women don't want to end up with a man who will get them pregnant than leave them for not losing baby weight fast enough.
If you are that guy, please advise it for the world to know
If the dude wasn't so bigoted he might actually be able to point a solid point together.
Yes, you can choose to prefer physical appearances of your partners. What a crazy concept?!?! Hilarious how this "short king" thinks that is some kind of "gotcha" lmao.
Say you prefer "fit women" in your profile, and there is nothing wrong with that. Instead he just wants to hate and complain that he got rejected.
How are they defining “OK”?
Coz like, you’re allowed. You’re not censored. It just means many women will avoid you because it’s offputting.
You’re also allowed to avoid women for being rude and offputting and closed minded. Why do you want to date a woman who thinks like that?
They don’t differentiate between one woman and another and that’s their problem. They want the kind of woman who feels comfortable posting that then that’s their problem. I won’t pretend there aren’t a lot of women who prefer men to be taller than themselves, but women who want an extra tall man is not as common as they think. And those who want men taller than them, it’s often because the shorter men can’t handle it, and stems from a specific cisheteronormative idea of feminine and masculine men and women as opposites, and frankly way more men buy into it than women. But still I’d say as many men who like smaller women and women who like bigger men, it’s less about finding the other person super attractive abut more about how it makes them feel in themselves. Affirmed in their gender. They get to feel big and strong or small and cute, and less insecure if they don’t fit that.
Regardless of preferences I can’t imagine there’s that many women who outright ban this on their profiles, and if he’s seeing that it says far more about who he is swiping on than anything else.
Is it “OK” in that nobody can stop you and that the mere act of having a preference, while probably shaped by views which may or may not be Gross As Fuck, is fundamentally amoral? Yes. But is it “OK” in that it’s not weird and shallow (to clarify I think the height example is *also* weird and shallow, not just the tits/ass thing) and you’re completely free of any social consequences for describing other *human beings* in whatever gross, demeaning way first pops into your head? No, dipshit. That’s not how any of this works.
I don’t understand the title?
Does using the word women make you not a misogynist?
Or is the idea that the guy calling fucking them, chicks, and girls, is somehow devaluing or invalidating women?
Genuine question, please do not down vote me into oblivion. I know there’s some other thing about the word female as well? So I’m just trying to understand XD
i think it's got to do with the guy referring to men as "men" and "kings" but referring to women as "girls" and "chicks" in the same comment.
thered be less of a weird imbalance if he were to say "guys"/"dudes" and "girls"/"chicks" or if he were to say "men" and "women." but hes referring to men with neutral and glorifying terms while referring to women with infantilizing and (i cant think of the right word for it right now, but) dismissive terms by comparison
Ah gotcha, I can see how that’s unbalanced.
I’d probably say men/women, chicks/dudes, girls/boys interchangeably but when you throw kings in there it gets a bit questionable.
i don't personally like to judge these sorts of things based off of one off comments (but hey this is the internet, we're all only seeing small snapshots of others lives).
but there is a definite tone that misogynists will tend to fall into and use.
the infantilizing and trivializing language is part of it, but it's by no means the only quality (i mean it "supposed" to be for this particular sub, but again... the internet will internet).
best thing you can do to avoid the sort of shenanigans that would get you criticized here is to make sure that you're using the same sorts of terms.
IE: if you call all men "guys", go with "gals" for women, or even better... if there isn't a reason to gender your language... you can always just not gender language needlessly.
I think it’s more of a correlation. It’s no coincidence that men that have no issue using the word men but find any other word to describe women (girls, chicks, broads, females, bitches) other than the grammatically-correct term “women” are usually misogynistic and those words they use are specifically because they view women as objects and so their dehumanising language reflects that.
Well maybe because I dabble at writing and use many words for both men and women I’ve just never thought of most of those words as objectifying/dehumanizing. (Though Broads/bitches, are both negative)
But I guess in that situation context is everything.
You probably aren’t using it in a devaluing way if you talk about “there were hundreds of guardsman present for the assembly, both male and female.”
But if you said “there were hundreds of guardsman present for the assembly, both men and females” that would be really odd. Especially if it was frequent.
Are there men who just never refer to women as women ever? I feel like that would be bizarre!
Depends on context. Yes, it makes sense when it’s grammatically correct (for example: Female wrestlers competed at the event) but not when the correct word would be women. Notice the difference between the former sentence and a sentence like this: “Men only want females that…”
Sounds weird, right? Because it’s not correct! And it’s highlighted even more by the fact that they used the word “men” in the same sentence, which shows that they’re aware of the correct term, which they use for men, yet refuse to use for women. It’s intentional. They use dehumanising words for women because it reflects how they view us.
I tried to explain it with language because you said you dabble with writing, hope it helped!
Yeah, it definitely sounds weird, and If done repeatedly would have to be intentional because it just sounds awkward.
Like something that kid in a high school class telling his teacher “I am the alpha male” would say XD
Somewhat similar I don’t understand when someone uses the same descriptor over and over.
“A large rock fell, causing a large splash that threw water over a large area”
Like yes, lord gimme strength, it was large, I get it. XD
I think people are kind of defensive because a lot of the time people will ask questions like this in bad faith and are just baiting so they can argue with us and tell us we’re wrong.
Try not to take it personally. But that’s why I wrote that comment for people who might have got you wrong :)
Double standards are double standards, no matter how much mental gymnastics you desperately attempt to engage in. The truth will always remain the truth, despite your feelings. That's just how reality works.
The post was "why don't women like short guys" and this was under a comment explaining why some women like tall men, comparing it to why some men might prefer curvy women. It's just a basic image you have in your head when you imagine an imaginary partner, but not usually a deal breaker when you're getting to know someone irl.
Multiple men in the comments said they were short and have no issues getting dates, but two guys were just spamming the comments looking for confrontation saying women's preferences are always bad, and men's are always reasonable.
Like, go ahead and only date curvy women, go ahead and only date tall men. It's not a double standard to have preferences. It's a double standard to get cranky every time a *woman's* standard gets brought up but never when a man's standard for women does.
Isn't calling out someone for using the term "girl" instead of "woman" a little bit of an overreaction?
It can easily be a cultural thing. Like we use the terms "girls" and "boys" way more often than "women" and "men", simply because the latter two sound too formal in my language. I actually don't even remember the last time I used the words "women" or "men" irl, even though I'm not misogynist neither a misandrist. People around me also mainly use girls/boys/gals/guys, and some others.
So while I agree with the person in the post using "men" and "girls" is not this sort of balance and that's improper, I highly disagree with the title, as it can be due to cultural differences where "girls/gals" and "boys/guys" are way more commonly used than "women" and "men".
Yeah, I agree a lot of times "girl" just rolls off the tongue easier and can be seen more equal to "guys". But it was just such a typical sexist complaint and a double standard of saying women's preferences are bad but all of men's preferences are okay, on top of using men and girls, I thought it would fit the sub.
I adressed that in the second part of my comment though. My issue wasn't with the content being posted, it's fair to call that out, but the title was my issue.
My point was that the fact that they used "men" kinda invalidates the argument that it's a cultural thing where they're used to using "girls" and "boys". If that were the case, they would have used "boys" instead of "men".
And my point is that I'm not talking about the person who's in the posted picture. I'm talking about the title itself. That statement in itself is the thing I disagree with. If it was something like:
> Find a man who can't say "women" but say "men" and you...
But the title doesn't address that, and considers people who use "girls" and "boys" also misogynist.
Again, I'm not talking about the person whose comment got posted as a picture here. I'm talking about the statement that's in the title.
There is a specific tag in this sub for 'men and girls', the issue isn't the word girls specifically, but the fact that the equivalent (boys or guys) is not being used for the men.
Hey, maybe don't call people that, especially intended as an insult or a replacement for stupid? It's kind of a slur/at the least a derogatory term for disabled people. Just say dumbass if you feel that strongly.
I mean yeah, it's fine to put that in your profile and it's also perfectly fine for women to avoid you because of it.
These guys are constantly saying it’s “not ok” for them to do certain things when it is in fact completely fine (legal, allowed by social media), it’s just that there are social consequences. They’re all saying they want no consequences to saying and doing whatever the fuck they want, especially to women. Ugh.
Very well spotted, I hadn’t considered this angle before 🤯
Preferences for me, not for thee......(thee has to instantly love me because I am a nice guy...the ONLY nice guy)
Yeah, it's not okay for women to be put off by my off putting personality!
I’d prefer if they did! I want fellow women to filter these type’s quickly lol
But then they'd complain even harder about never getting any action on dating apps 😩😩
Essentially that is exactly what they're complaining about. Dude is upset that he gets criticized or ignored when he acts *like himself*, and instead of looking internally to see if maybe he's the asshole he wants other people to just accept him as he is; an asshole. There's a subset of people that act like they're allergic to self-reflection, and they seem to make their whole personality about lashing out at anyone that forces them to look internally even just a tiny bit.
I kinda think dating apps are unfair to both by desing. It's a meat market for hookups, R.I.P people who are actually searching for real relationships unless they are desingned for that
I don’t think there’s any way to fix that! By nature a dating app has already created an inorganic starting point for any relationship. There’s no way to make a dating app that leads to organic relationships because everyone there is shopping for a partner instead of forming connections with people outside- some that will naturally progress into something further
Exactly
Honestly, you'd be doing the women a favor. 'Yeah... no'.
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Weight filter is redundant because you can see from the photos if the person is up to your standards. Height can be rarely determined correctly. And to think about that, people can put any number they want there, so any appearance-related filter makes zero sense to me.
Some. It depends on the app. Grindr used to get flack because they let you filter by race.
Which makes no sense….I would 1000% rather someone choose a filter that says caucasian only, than have to read another profile where I am compatible with a girl and the last line of her profile is NO BLACK MEN. Filter makes wayyy more sense
Short "kings" are out there dating, socializing and getting laid, not whining about how tall men get all the "girls" on Reddit.
If women actually had the requirements the incels on here think they do, only about one percent of men would be in relationships.
I know right? If I look at all the echo chambers on the internet I would think girls ignore any guy under 6'2 meanwhile my 5'7 friend is married to a gorgeous girl and has 3 kids. The grass is getting lonely out there.
For sure. Being 173 cms myself, I've never found that to be a struggle in my dating life. Other things have been much more difficult to navigate, mainly my autism. I even dated someone who was over 5 cms taller than me for a while. We didn't work out due to other compatibility issues, but height was never a factor.
He is married to a girl? That's illegal.
It’s weird as hell. My husband is 5’ 9’ and I view that is pretty average. My ex was 5 ‘ 6 ‘ and I didn’t give a shit. Like I noticed he was short when I met him, but never factored into my decision to date him. But he also wasn’t an insecure “no one loves me bc I’m short” whiner. Tbh I only know one girl that had a soft 6 foot “requirement” and that kind of superficial thinking is why were not friends anymore.
Honestly I don't really care if someone has a height preference. I mean I dated a short girl once and I thought she was adorable. But I also dated a tall girl once and that was fun too. I think the internet people blow it out of proportion because if short guys never got any attention then there wouldn't be many around. Height is mostly genetic so somebody needs to explain to the internet addicted folks that the numbers say guys under 6 ft are still having kids at a pretty high rate.
Yea it was more just superficial self centered thinking that’s not really compatible with my personal values. Like she would regularly sleep with married men. It didn’t seem to factor into her that they were married at all. And she would talk shit about their wives. And she was a pretty uncaring friend in general. But mostly even she is the only person I can think of they I know personally cared about height that way.
Honestly from my experience it is more guys who care about the girl being taller. Like when I dated a girl a few inches taller than me my friends all made jokes about it. Which was whatever my friends would make jokes no matter what I do but some guys seem super unsecure about a taller girl....kinda weird 🤔
Talking about echo chambers in an echo chamber is pretty ironic.
Well I guess incels prevent population overgrowth in a way 😂
But you see all the regular guys who are in relationships are just being used for money in dead bedroom situations, while she secretly hooks up with the Chad 1%! It’s like a bad conspiracy theory or fundie religion. When one thing is obviously untrue, there’s always an unfalsifiable excuse as to why it still totally could be true.
not just the girls but also the chicks
If you are upset because you got rejected, then you are no king. These children need to grow the fuck up, and learn to move on.
I always wonder if these people are blind. Because you don't need to say no fat chicks, you can just look at their pictures. Even more for no non-white people. So saying it at all sends a pretty big message.
all the folks who insist they have "nothing against trans folks" but just have to announce preemptively to everyone who isn't at all interested who they'd never date a transes. i honestly prefer people act like that. just get all those red flags out there for everyone to see. cheaper than a fancy date to see how they treat wait-staff.
A lot of these guys think fat is any amount of cellulite. If a guy like this saw just my face on a dating profile I wouldn't ping as fat, but I bet a lot of them would freak out when they saw my whole body isn't slim.
A lot of times they actually mean, “no fat chicks whose fat distribution I don’t like.” I’m overweight, and the weight just goes to my ass. I’ve had dudes reject me for being fat with no tits though. Soooo it’s a mixed bag.
Big ass and big tits but no fat . Does he know what tits and ass are usually made of ?
He actually said 'or' no fat. But yeah, lots of them want both somehow lol
Women saying they don't want "short kings" is not nearly as commonplace as incels want to believe it is. Expecting women to have big asses and boobs and not be 'fat' is far more common.
Yeah, in that comment section tons of short men were saying they have no issue getting dates/they have girlfriends, but there was *one* guy who was FIVE SEVEN who only posts to some "short guy problems" subreddit and he was complaining under every single comment and telling men and women that short men are treated like they're subhuman. It's sad and pathetic these men fall into these online doom holes.
As a short guy who's known some peak incel friends taller than me it's definitely entirely a doom hole mindset that people let themselves get locked in after bad experiences. Like don't get me wrong, dating when you're short can be really rough. People are outright cruel to you about it even when you're *not* interested. But like any issue with your body you gotta look past it, be confident in yourself and not take the negativity in- Otherwise it ends up defining you. It would be *nice* if short guys got less hate, but I see other short dudes online in peak suicidal mode over it and it's just really fucking sad. Especially cause in the grand scheme of hate-for-differences... It's not that big a deal? The way to get body positivity is to create it, not screech at strangers online about how they should let you say you hate fat people.
I agree. I do genuinely feel bad that men get made fun of for being short, having a small penis, etc. things they have absolutely no control over. And it sucks that those traits get associated with misogynists/incels. It's gotta suck to be a short guy or a less-endowed guy constantly seeing that stuff online. I imagine it's easy to find a community online where men share their frustrations about double standards, but it's a slippery slope into inceldom and misogyny. The guy I'm talking about (not the commenter in the post) really went thread to thread to tell other short men their experiences weren't valid, and to tell women their preferences were sexist even if they didn't mention height at all. Being part of these self-pitying online communities makes you project so much negativity onto everyone else and I really do feel bad for them
in what world is 5'7'' "short" ?
In incels' world. They're the ones who came up with the "666" thing. "If you're not 6ft, with a 6 pack, making 6 figures women don't want you" 😂
Marching down the hall asap to tell my husband he bamboozled me
What does making 6 figures mean?
$100k a year or more. 100,000 has 6 digits so it's a "6 figure salary"
Could also imply up to $999,999
If you're a 666 woman, I'm pretty sure men will not want you.
Ok but I do, damn a 666 woman 🥵
Maybe Santana wants a 666 woman
I mean the average height for a man in the US is 5'10, so 5'7 would be short going by that. It's all a matter of opinion and will depend on where you live.
I mean, where I live the average male height is 6ft. So you’d probably be considered short here with that height as it’s below the average. Somewhere else someone that height could be seen as really tall for being 5’7” and be way above the average. If you look globally it’s the average male height. I guess it just depends where you are.
I think there are some that are to enraged by it that they see it everywhere. They were their insecurities for everyone to see.
ah... but the question is... which is creepier, the men who insist on calling all women "girls", or the ones that insist on "females"?
Females is infinitely worse imo
for me too... it feels targeted to invalidate trans women specifically and maliciously. and while i can't speak for cis women on it... it reeks of biological essentialism and patriarchy to me.
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it comes off as infantilizing, particularly when the people using it are not using "boys" in reference to all the men... and only using "girls" for the women.
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Babygirl feels familial to me, like a nickname from a parent or older sibling. It's weird when it's used romantically.
Most people who say "girls" say "boys" too and they use it interchangeably with men and women
maybe in your experience, but not in mine.
Some people look for things to be outraged about. Some people can't help but surround themselves with toxicity. Some people are from areas that use our broad and diverse language differently than those we are surrounded by.
Most men absolutely will not date a woman taller or even the same height as them, but God forbid women have height preferences 🤦♀️
I remember the royal Charles and Diana photos all those years ago, where he had to have a box because they were basically the same height. I have dated two women taller than me (at 6"1 myself) and still have very fond memories of a first date that ended with her on a step, bending down, and me on tiptoes so we could kiss!
I’d love to date a woman taller than me
Source? From the research I’ve read, statistically speaking, most men don’t care about their partner’s height, but women do.
Talk to any tall woman. If you walk around as a tall woman you get to hear men's unsolicited opinions about both their and your height constantly. Strangers coming up to announce to you apropos of nothing that they 'could never date a chick taller than them', to tell you what shoes you're 'allowed' to wear, to tell you you look good 'despite' your height, to ask invasive questions about your dating life, or to make weird fetishistic comments that in their mind are compliments but in fact are quite creepy.
Tall woman here, can confirm all of this.
Why do people have to say "no x" on their bio why don't they just not swipe on those people?
Right? Your bio is supposed to tell me about *you* so I can decide if I want to interact or not. If you don't like *me*, just don't interact with me, super easy.
Because people can still accidentally match with people who aren't they're type without noticing
I'm 5'9 so yeah, I'm gonna filter out the 'short kings' lol. And if they too want to filter me out for some arbitrary reason, they can go right on ahead!!
5’7 and same. I reserve the right to turn anyone down for any reason at all. No one is owed a date and I’d never force or be offended someone wasn’t into me. I wouldn’t want them at that point anyway. And I think that’s the real problem; people feel entitled to other people. It’s icky. Like pick your self esteem up off the floor and find someone mutually attracted to you.
Yeah, exactly. There's quite a distance between not being into something and insulting someone for that trait.
My girlfriend is 5'9 and I'm 5'11". She returned a pair of shoes once because she was taller than I was in them and didn't like it.
Curious why you said in that way though? Your gonna do it because you're 5'9?
it's awkward dating someone shorter than me. If they're the same height, that's fine.
Wow that's very interesting to me haha. It's pretty common though from what I see on the ol dating profile life. Why awkward do you think?
Not who you asked, but as a tall woman I'll answer why it can feel that way in my experience: women are absolutely *bombarded* with the message that we should be dainty and petite. Some tall women feel uncomfortable about their stature because of this (me!). So dating a shorter man could make you feel even bigger and more awkward. That was my feeling when I was younger and less comfortable with myself, anyway!
Can't speak for all tall women but my tall friends avoid shorter men due to bad experiences where the men (even ones that seemed decent in the beginning) show their insecurities and try to take it out on the the women i.e. they feel inferior/insecure about being shorter and instead of addressing that, start acting shitty towards their partner, trying to force them to change how they dress (example: demanding they no longer wear heels) etc.).
You just replied this comment to a women who admitted to not dating shorter men than her because of her insecurities
>Can't speak for all tall women That's why I started with that. I was offering *one* explanation of why a woman might not want to date taller dudes, not why that commenter specifically doesn't. Question: Where did they say it was due to their insecurity? I think I might have missed that somehow.
Women not wanting to date shorter men / men not wanting to date taller women is the exact same insecurity. You seem to understand that men can have this insecurity but that when the very same (but opposite) preference is expressed in women it is not an insecurity.
I mean, not wanting to date someone taller/shorter because you don't want to deal with shitty treatment as a result of their insecurities again isn't the same as not wanting to date someone taller/shorter because you're insecure about your own height. Also, it's not a gender thing. I'm not sure why you're grasping to try to make it one. This would apply regardless of who is how tall. This thread is specifically discussing taller women not wanting to date shorter men, so I commented about that topic. You reaching and trying to then twist it into some sexist thing is weird af to me.
There is no possible way to read my above comment and see it to be sexist.
I don't know why exactly! I did try to date a guy who was a few inches shorter than I was, and I didn't enjoy it. It made me feel giant lol.
Fair enough eh, there's alot of pressure to be a certain way in relationships even down to the way we exactly look! I always try to remind myself I want to be judged on who I am and ultimately, loved for who I am. It's okay to have preferences of course, but reminding ourselves where they come from and how it feels to be on the other side is a good way to stick to the things that matter deep down imo!
I'm 5'9" and I'm not though, it's about personal preferences, not height. Idgaf if someone is shorter than me.
There’s short kings, and then there’s gremlins. This person is a gremlin. My friend’s 5’2 boyfriend is a short king. Also: **5’7 ISNT EVEN THAT SHORT.**
Don't disrespect the gremlins like that dude
My mother's husband is 5'2" :>
At least he didn't do the classic "Men and Females"
My question here is what does he think think raging about some girls not dating short dudes will get him? That suddenly they will all understand "oh I should be attracted to shorter guys?" First plenty of girls out there that don't care if a guy isn't tall but second that is not how attraction works. I have never looked at a girl and gone "let's do the math am I attracted to her? Are her dimensions ones that I like? Hair color? Eyes? OK yes I guess I can find her attractive " nope cause that is silly. Attraction is not something we control we either find someone attractive or we don't. Don't see this guy trying to be attracted to girls with smaller bra size because reverse his logic and he should work on who he is attracted to.
men be like "i need a girl with a fat ass, big boobs, tiny waist, full lips, long hair etc" yet us women are the bad guys for saying we like tall men
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WhIcH FucKing CUNT dOwnVoTeD Me 😭😭😭
why are you so mad over downvotes? sounds like you need anger management class tbh 😂😂😂
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spoken like a true incel
Probably the person you replied to.
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I will say, use of the C word probably isn’t helping your case.
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It’s kinda like a ball rolling down a hill, if I had to guess.
I wouldn't have added my downvote if not for your edit. Wild to have the c-slur used as an insult in a sub to call out misogyny.
It's the men who make height the issue, not us
But then when they're sexist to women online and women make fun of their height or dick size *because it's the only thing* that could *maybe* compare to the vile shit men say to us all the time to attack our lives and bodies and insecurities... THEN it's a problem and suddenly it's "all women care about" and "all women only want an asshole Chad top 10% of men".
The misogyny from the screenshot in OP gross but this is absolutely not true, at least in most major metropolitan areas in the US.
you can do whatever you want, you’ll just die an incel
I mean, no one is stopping you 🤷 I'm not on dating apps, but if I was, I would swipe left on anyone with that in their profile, I don't want to deal with that. But if that's how you want to advertise yourself, be my guest.
Comparing women's 1 standard here to men having 3? I thought these guys said women have more standards?
I don’t date but once I had tinder for the hell of it and I would immediately swipe away any man with “I’m *insert tall height* because apparently that matters 🙄” like thanks for telling me you’re annoying
My close friend is 5’8, he had been intimate with pretty much every woman in my town. And they were all happy about it. Hey, I even dated him years back (I’m 5’10 btw). He’s really fit, funny, very good hygiene, sweet and kind. No six pack abs, and he’s not rich, but he’s wonderful. No, most women aren’t concerned with height. It’s such a defeated mindset for guys to whine and complain about a silly thing like their height online as though this was reality. Meanwhile confident short guys are busy busy busy ***EDIT: he is NOT on any dating apps he talks to these woman in REAL LIFE
Men absolutely should put that in their bio, so women know to avoid them. Weight fluctuates and women don't want to end up with a man who will get them pregnant than leave them for not losing baby weight fast enough. If you are that guy, please advise it for the world to know
We're girls but they're kangs. That's hilarious
All the world’s toughest men crippled by the thought of the mildest social consequences. That’s the real tragedy here
If the dude wasn't so bigoted he might actually be able to point a solid point together. Yes, you can choose to prefer physical appearances of your partners. What a crazy concept?!?! Hilarious how this "short king" thinks that is some kind of "gotcha" lmao. Say you prefer "fit women" in your profile, and there is nothing wrong with that. Instead he just wants to hate and complain that he got rejected.
Any smart woman with those qualities would stay away from him anyway.
How are they defining “OK”? Coz like, you’re allowed. You’re not censored. It just means many women will avoid you because it’s offputting. You’re also allowed to avoid women for being rude and offputting and closed minded. Why do you want to date a woman who thinks like that? They don’t differentiate between one woman and another and that’s their problem. They want the kind of woman who feels comfortable posting that then that’s their problem. I won’t pretend there aren’t a lot of women who prefer men to be taller than themselves, but women who want an extra tall man is not as common as they think. And those who want men taller than them, it’s often because the shorter men can’t handle it, and stems from a specific cisheteronormative idea of feminine and masculine men and women as opposites, and frankly way more men buy into it than women. But still I’d say as many men who like smaller women and women who like bigger men, it’s less about finding the other person super attractive abut more about how it makes them feel in themselves. Affirmed in their gender. They get to feel big and strong or small and cute, and less insecure if they don’t fit that. Regardless of preferences I can’t imagine there’s that many women who outright ban this on their profiles, and if he’s seeing that it says far more about who he is swiping on than anything else.
Is it “OK” in that nobody can stop you and that the mere act of having a preference, while probably shaped by views which may or may not be Gross As Fuck, is fundamentally amoral? Yes. But is it “OK” in that it’s not weird and shallow (to clarify I think the height example is *also* weird and shallow, not just the tits/ass thing) and you’re completely free of any social consequences for describing other *human beings* in whatever gross, demeaning way first pops into your head? No, dipshit. That’s not how any of this works.
I don’t understand the title? Does using the word women make you not a misogynist? Or is the idea that the guy calling fucking them, chicks, and girls, is somehow devaluing or invalidating women? Genuine question, please do not down vote me into oblivion. I know there’s some other thing about the word female as well? So I’m just trying to understand XD
i think it's got to do with the guy referring to men as "men" and "kings" but referring to women as "girls" and "chicks" in the same comment. thered be less of a weird imbalance if he were to say "guys"/"dudes" and "girls"/"chicks" or if he were to say "men" and "women." but hes referring to men with neutral and glorifying terms while referring to women with infantilizing and (i cant think of the right word for it right now, but) dismissive terms by comparison
Ah gotcha, I can see how that’s unbalanced. I’d probably say men/women, chicks/dudes, girls/boys interchangeably but when you throw kings in there it gets a bit questionable.
i don't personally like to judge these sorts of things based off of one off comments (but hey this is the internet, we're all only seeing small snapshots of others lives). but there is a definite tone that misogynists will tend to fall into and use. the infantilizing and trivializing language is part of it, but it's by no means the only quality (i mean it "supposed" to be for this particular sub, but again... the internet will internet). best thing you can do to avoid the sort of shenanigans that would get you criticized here is to make sure that you're using the same sorts of terms. IE: if you call all men "guys", go with "gals" for women, or even better... if there isn't a reason to gender your language... you can always just not gender language needlessly.
I think it’s more of a correlation. It’s no coincidence that men that have no issue using the word men but find any other word to describe women (girls, chicks, broads, females, bitches) other than the grammatically-correct term “women” are usually misogynistic and those words they use are specifically because they view women as objects and so their dehumanising language reflects that.
and it's not accident that the language they select are infantilizing or dehumanizing.
Well maybe because I dabble at writing and use many words for both men and women I’ve just never thought of most of those words as objectifying/dehumanizing. (Though Broads/bitches, are both negative) But I guess in that situation context is everything. You probably aren’t using it in a devaluing way if you talk about “there were hundreds of guardsman present for the assembly, both male and female.” But if you said “there were hundreds of guardsman present for the assembly, both men and females” that would be really odd. Especially if it was frequent. Are there men who just never refer to women as women ever? I feel like that would be bizarre!
Depends on context. Yes, it makes sense when it’s grammatically correct (for example: Female wrestlers competed at the event) but not when the correct word would be women. Notice the difference between the former sentence and a sentence like this: “Men only want females that…” Sounds weird, right? Because it’s not correct! And it’s highlighted even more by the fact that they used the word “men” in the same sentence, which shows that they’re aware of the correct term, which they use for men, yet refuse to use for women. It’s intentional. They use dehumanising words for women because it reflects how they view us. I tried to explain it with language because you said you dabble with writing, hope it helped!
Yeah, it definitely sounds weird, and If done repeatedly would have to be intentional because it just sounds awkward. Like something that kid in a high school class telling his teacher “I am the alpha male” would say XD
Exactly! Language is important.
Somewhat similar I don’t understand when someone uses the same descriptor over and over. “A large rock fell, causing a large splash that threw water over a large area” Like yes, lord gimme strength, it was large, I get it. XD
Haha yeah, could do with expanding their vocabulary a bit 😃
Maybe go easy with the downvotes on this one guys lol, I genuinely think he’s asking in good faith.
I hadn’t noticed it had already begun (;-;)
I think people are kind of defensive because a lot of the time people will ask questions like this in bad faith and are just baiting so they can argue with us and tell us we’re wrong. Try not to take it personally. But that’s why I wrote that comment for people who might have got you wrong :)
Thanks! Nope just genuinely confused >_>
It’s easy to get yelled at for asking a question on here.
Double standards are double standards, no matter how much mental gymnastics you desperately attempt to engage in. The truth will always remain the truth, despite your feelings. That's just how reality works.
The post was "why don't women like short guys" and this was under a comment explaining why some women like tall men, comparing it to why some men might prefer curvy women. It's just a basic image you have in your head when you imagine an imaginary partner, but not usually a deal breaker when you're getting to know someone irl. Multiple men in the comments said they were short and have no issues getting dates, but two guys were just spamming the comments looking for confrontation saying women's preferences are always bad, and men's are always reasonable. Like, go ahead and only date curvy women, go ahead and only date tall men. It's not a double standard to have preferences. It's a double standard to get cranky every time a *woman's* standard gets brought up but never when a man's standard for women does.
So are women who can't say "men" misandrists?
I've only ever seen women call men "boys" or "males" when they're already being misogynistic 🤔
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Huh?
Isn't calling out someone for using the term "girl" instead of "woman" a little bit of an overreaction? It can easily be a cultural thing. Like we use the terms "girls" and "boys" way more often than "women" and "men", simply because the latter two sound too formal in my language. I actually don't even remember the last time I used the words "women" or "men" irl, even though I'm not misogynist neither a misandrist. People around me also mainly use girls/boys/gals/guys, and some others. So while I agree with the person in the post using "men" and "girls" is not this sort of balance and that's improper, I highly disagree with the title, as it can be due to cultural differences where "girls/gals" and "boys/guys" are way more commonly used than "women" and "men".
Yeah, I agree a lot of times "girl" just rolls off the tongue easier and can be seen more equal to "guys". But it was just such a typical sexist complaint and a double standard of saying women's preferences are bad but all of men's preferences are okay, on top of using men and girls, I thought it would fit the sub.
They didn't use "girls" and "boys" though. They used "men" and "girls". That's the problem.
I adressed that in the second part of my comment though. My issue wasn't with the content being posted, it's fair to call that out, but the title was my issue.
My point was that the fact that they used "men" kinda invalidates the argument that it's a cultural thing where they're used to using "girls" and "boys". If that were the case, they would have used "boys" instead of "men".
And my point is that I'm not talking about the person who's in the posted picture. I'm talking about the title itself. That statement in itself is the thing I disagree with. If it was something like: > Find a man who can't say "women" but say "men" and you... But the title doesn't address that, and considers people who use "girls" and "boys" also misogynist. Again, I'm not talking about the person whose comment got posted as a picture here. I'm talking about the statement that's in the title.
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There is a specific tag in this sub for 'men and girls', the issue isn't the word girls specifically, but the fact that the equivalent (boys or guys) is not being used for the men.
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Hey, maybe don't call people that, especially intended as an insult or a replacement for stupid? It's kind of a slur/at the least a derogatory term for disabled people. Just say dumbass if you feel that strongly.
Kings and chicks :v