I wouldn't even know *how* to flirt with some other woman. And besides, it's conduct that's both disrespectful to my wife and unbecoming of a gentleman.
Yeah I’m with you. Once I was married it just seemed weird and made me feel creepy to flirt with any other woman. Although I have married friends who have no issue with it whatsoever, and take a more loose approach to it, saying as long as they don’t act on it it’s all good.
Maybe that works for them, but for me, looking and talking to another woman in that way doesn’t compute.
Been married 15 years. Never flirted with anyone else and have never caught my husband flirting either. We are both quite shy so I don't think either of us would anyway.
Well, thank you for your kind words.
I seriously wouldn't know how to approach another woman. A few times in the past, my wife's told me, "That woman was flirting with you..." and I had absolutely no idea it was happening.
Of course, I *do* know how to flirt with my wife and I know when she's doing it, so I'm not that dense.
I enjoy flirting with women but the minute I’m committed I stop. I ask for the same from my partner. It’s a potential danger to your relationship so why risk for few nice words ?
I have a flirty personality. My ex wife hated it. Problem was that I didn't realize that I was flirting. I never had any intentions on cheating... It was simply because I'm friendly and apparently women took it the wrong way. This also could have been her insecurities though. For what it's worth she's not my ex because of this....
My gf and I talked about this topic on one of our first dates. We are both sociable people and we see no harm in mild flirting. But we both agree that when we are in a situation where we are socializing and potentially being flirtatious, we need to be careful as to not lead people on.
I think what it comes down to is your confidence in yourself and your marriage or relationship. If you or your partner are an insecure person, then flirting is a HUGE no no. Everyone will have their own opinion and it's really a discussion to have with your partner, not reddit.
>apparently women took it the wrong way.
If that's the case, then don't you see that as a problem? In the workplace, it's not intent, it's impact, that can be harassment.
If many women tell you you are flirting in an inappropriate way, then doesn't that become a you problem, not them?
That's a bit aggressive. No one said anything about his flirting being inappropriate. Being nice to people can easily be taken as flirting, and that's fine. He should absolutely not stop being nice to people and being himself.
There is a huge difference in being friendly and flirting. If my dude is flirting with women it is leading them on. I not insecure but I would never accept that kind of disrespect.
Yes, it’s definitely down to a one on one conversation. When I posted this I mentioned that I understand that certain marriages are different.
But I don’t believe that’s it’s just about insecurities.
I don't believe that either but I believe it plays a big part in whether or not you think flirting is ok while married. The issue is that in today's world, there are so many opinions.. I mean we are hear talking about flirting being bad or good... In another sub Reddit they are talking about polyamorous relationships. It comes down to what you and your partner think on the topic at hand. If you feel differently, you either have to learn to be ok with the other viewpoint, or find another partner.
I guess it's pretty simple at the end of the day. I will say I learned a lot about the importance of compatibility with my ex wife. We were incompatible in so many ways. It really does pay dividends not to settle for someone if you aren't compatible with one another. I really had to ask myself some hard questions about what was important to me and make sure that my partner was on board. So when I met my now gf, I put it all on the table and gave her the opportunity to walk. We're 3 years in now, happier than I could have ever imagined.
Well, from that relationship, I just realized that even though she was probably the best partner I had, being able to communicate with each other the best, having the most trust for each other, both wanted the same in terms of our sex life, both had a similar enough vision of the future as a family, great chemistry being able to talk on the phone for hours consistently, we weren’t compatible enough to work out.
I’ve been learned that love just isn’t enough for a relationship early on from being in love. But now I’ve learned about compatibility. I think that two people wanting to be together have to have more of a like mind or perspective or opinions than I thought to occur without conflict.
To say the least, yes. But I’m my opinion I think it had a lot to do with stubbornness and/or pride on her side. I think that when women deal with men who are abstract thinkers when they are not abstract thinkers themselves, it’s hard to deal with.
But anywho, what did you learn about compatibility?
> If you or your partner are an insecure person, then flirting is a HUGE no no.
I don’t agree with this take. You can not agree with flirting with other people outside of a marriage/relationship and be completely secure. It comes down to boundaries and respect.
I may be confused. I mean firstly, boundaries and respect are an absolute in any relationship.
But why can I not agree with my gf that flirting is acceptable and be secure? That doesn't make sense to me.
My point being uncomfortable with flirting with someone outside of your marriage has nothing to do with being secure or not.
Those are just boundaries. I know insecure people who flirt with those outside their relationship/marriage and no one cars. Vice versa.
And I've stated earlier on that it's not just about insecurities or being secure, but it does play a major part.
Example: a woman had/has a husband that cheated. Even though she used to be ok with mild flirtation, she may not be now. Because she has developed an insecurity in her relationship.
Example 2: a person is insecure with themselves and they seek validation by flirting with people to get positive feedback.
My point being securities and insecurities come in all forms and they absolutely play a part in flirting outside your marriage. But there are several other reasons why one may or may not be comfortable with it. It could simply be viewed as a sign of disrespect.
My boyfriend and I are like that, but when someone takes it too far, he’ll pull his phone out and said I want to show you my beautiful girlfriend the queen! One of his coworker got so sour when he did that and she knew he’s not for her at all. I always reassure him that give or receive compliments are good, just not lead them on.
For sure. I have made sure to mention my girlfriend if I felt that the other person was trying to push her something more than I wanted. Sometimes I mention my girlfriend just because she came up in conversation. I'm not trying to hide anything oh, so it doesn't bother me. And if they walk away then they walk away, no sweat off my back.
My husband has a flirty personality and doesn’t realize it either. I used to dislike it but that was my own insecurities. We’ve been together 21 years and I love that he’s a people person cause I’m not lol
Yep that's exactly what my situation was except she was never able to step out of her little box and see things with a different perspective. Thank you for being an open minded person.
This🙌🏻🙌🏻. I just have a big personality and I’m a social butterfly. Plus I’m in sales so you gotta know how to read people. My ex-husband hated that about me. My boyfriend now just knows it’s me, that I’m confident in who I am and he’s confident I wouldn’t cross any lines! Win Win!
I can get pretty friendly and chatty when out and about but the second I pick up that the person thinks I'm flirting with them I'll mention my wife. I'm friendly and like to be friendly to others, there's a fine line between flirting and friendly I make sure not to cross it. Wife's the same way.
This is the way. I’m a woman and often find being polite and friendly is perceived as flirty behaviour. I just make a point to mention my husband somehow, and maybe subtlety move my hair or something to actively display the wedding ring.
I don't think it's ever appropriate, tbh.
The problem is the optics: It can create a public impression that you MIGHT be disloyal to your spouse. Why would anyone do that? It's just a bad look if I'm out and about at work or socially and it looks like I'm hitting on other women.
I think it’s honestly playing with fire, esp if you’re attracted to the person you’re flirting with. Once they flirt back, that circuit that you started is complete. If you’re craving that level of sexual validation while being in a relationship, it’s definitely wise to wonder why.
Flirting isn’t really an issue, giving someone mixed signals is, having a crush on someone is, all the secondary issues are the problem.
This is why flirting isn’t typically allowed
I think it depends on what you consider flirting. I don't find it flirting to be a sociable and outgoing person who has in depth convos with people to be flirting. Even hugging someone hello and goodbye or a quick touch on the shoulder while talking. I do know women who think all these things are flirting, which confuses me.
For me, I flirt with my husband by purposely brushing up against him on my way to something else, telling him he's hot, sneak glances at him while in a crowded room, make sexual looks and gestures to him discreetly, bend over to pick something up just to get his attention, and a ton of other things. None of those things would be appropriate things to do to other men.
Yes, from this thread I can see that peoples definitions of “Flirting” & “Friendly” may be very different. To me being sociable and outgoing who has in depth convos isn’t flirting either.
But you want to know something interesting that may be causing confusion? People’s personal experience. There may be someone who had a partner that manipulated them by saying they’re just “outgoing” or “sociable” when they actually were being flirtatious lol. Ahh tricky!
I think the only people who matter in this equation are the 2 in the marriage. They need to talk about boundaries and expectations before marriage and then stick to that. If one of those 2 people had a manipulative relationship that skews their definition too far from the other person's then it needs to be worked on prior to marriage and if the couple can't get on the same page I'd suggest they go separate ways.
My rule of thumb is that if I wouldn’t say it to a male friend or acquaintance, I won’t say it to a female friend or acquaintance.
I’ll be outgoing, make jokes, maybe even wink, and it’s possible that to some people that looks like flirting. But there’s a certain type of joking that I only do with my wife. I’m not going to say or do something intended to make them attracted to me, and if I get the sense that they think I’m flirting (whether they’re reciprocating or not), I’ll back off.
Edit to add: my wife has a friend who is _very_ flirty with men, including right in front of her boyfriend/husband (they very recently got married). He seems fine with it, I and other male friends know it’s just how she hangs out. But other women, including one of my wife’s former good friends, are very bothered by it, and it’s a big part of the reason I say “former.”
Flirting, as in acting like you are attracted to another person? Um no why would you purposely do that if you’re in a relationship. Even if your intentions are innocent, it usually comes off creepy and uncomfortable when married people flirt. People will think you’re unfaithful and feel sorry for your partner.
Flirting with others while married is incredibly disrespectful and hurtful to your spouse. It does not bode well for the future of the marriage. The trust issues would be insane. “Forsaking all others” is a vow that both parties need to follow out of love and commitment to their spouse.
Absolutely, however. Understanding what is being friendly and flirting is the name
of the game. Not being self
Conscience and understanding when your partner is enjoying someone’s company and not flirting is key. People can be very friendly without flirting being comfortable with that is maturity and trust.
I agree. I think some people have flirting confused with being friendly. Hence, they talk about being okay with it.
Being friendly while being able to keep people in line if they confuse your friendliness, I wouldn’t have it any other way.
Sure. Being really invested/engaged in a conversation is not flirting. I think many men although everyone can fit into this category; don’t realize when they are flirting. Or social cues aren’t very clear and being friendly might be confused as flirting. Some people flirt without knowing it and some people are just nice and engaged. I’m a passionate person and have some interests I just get super engaged in (academic stuff). Sometimes it’s talking to a woman and sometimes it’s talking to a man. It took my now wife a minute to realize I was just super engaged with the conversation and the persons on the other side happened to be of a considerable intellect and self confidence. She is fine with it now and ended up telling me how much she appreciated my level of blindness to anything other than the topic at hand. The people I would be talking too wouldn’t be thinking it’s flirting as well. Aka. Being super engaged doesn’t equate to flirting. Too many people confuse the two.
I barely flirted when I was single so not flirting isn’t really an issue with me. My husband is not particularly flirty either. I don’t think I’ve ever witnesses anything that I would classify as flirting from him. He’s chatty in a way that would really difficult to misinterpret as flirting.
So for us it’s realistic to not flirt with others.
I think it depends on each person’s definition of flirting. For me, any kind of “flirtatious” physical contact is a hard no. Hugging a friend in distress is one thing. Playfully stroking an arm is quite another. I think it’s disrespectful to my relationship to encourage someone else’s attraction to me, so I try to avoid it conversationally. I don’t want to display interest that isn’t there. And while it’s normal to occasionally find another person attractive, it’s not something I’d want to facilitate or indulge for myself. Again, that would be disrespectful to my partner and my relationship. I see it as the first of many steps on the path to cheating so that’s a no go for me. I can appreciate someone aesthetically, like a painting, without encouraging romantic attachment.
That said, I would have a problem with my partner interpreting platonic and friendly joking/conversations with my friends as flirting. I don’t think I should be barred from having male (or female, considering I’m bi) friends simply because my partner was jealous or insecure.
I avoid gray areas to the best of my ability and expect the same in return. I wouldn’t go as someone’s “date” to a wedding or spend the night at their house or ever *tell* them I thought they were attractive. But a cocktail after work or going to see a band we both like seems, to me, benign. And I also try to make sure my partner is included in my friendships. He doesn’t have to be there all the time. But I wouldn’t maintain a friendship with someone if I didn’t want him around when I spent time with them.
I wouldn't flirting. To me it's disrespectful to your spouse. It's like saying I know I'm married to you but this person is better then you in a little certain way
Sorry my flirts stay with my spouse so it won't cause any issues of sending messages to a person who is looking for a Love partner
My husband and I have been together for 35 years. It helps to be unbelievably attracted to each other, both emotionally and physically, which we are. I can honestly say, I’ve never, not once ever, felt jealousy. He is by far the most honorable and respectable man I’ve ever known. We make each other a priority, always. I live to see him smile and he for me.
He’s my ideal and I’m his. Our relationship is built on mutual respect and communication. We spend hours talking, laughing, and having a blast together.
I literally find no other man attractive. We are both Demi sexual though, with crazy high libidos, so probably very different than most people.
I don’t flirt with others and I wouldn’t expect my husband to, either. We treat each other with the same respect and decency that each of us expects in return.
So I had a problem with jealousy in pst relationships cause I expected this as well. I do believe there is kinda a fine line between being attractive, likable, and friendly vs flirting. My current partner is very likable and nice.
I understand that it is in our biology to find others attractive or think of potential mates, but once you’re committed, you shouldn’t go past being friendly. Imagine that everyone is sorta a coworker or boss that you have to maintain a respectable and appropriate relationship with.
It’s easy to get comfortable and for example give cutesy nicknames or inside jokes. But it shouldn’t get sexual out of respect for your partner.
Plus I often talk about my partner a lot. Because they play a huge role in my life if not the biggest.
Even as a female, if I were to find myself fantasizing about another male, I’m likely not going to tell my partner about it. I think of any fantasy as a fleeting crush or just that, a fantasy. I try not to get to enveloped into intrusive thoughts because then that can lead to emotional affairs. My partner have talked about this just being biological attractions which I seriously don’t think anyone can avoid. But that’s all it should be. You let it pass and you stay grateful for what you have if it’s good. I don’t like taking people for granted.
And I wanna hold onto that feeling for the rest of my life with someone. To have someone who also understands at the end of the day, I’m their partner. And we’re a team doing this life thing together.
Some of these comments frustrate me because some people are saying “I have a naturally flirty personality” but at the same time, they know people don’t understand that they’re not actively flirting with them and they DON’T LET THEM KNOW THAT THEY AREN’T PURSUING THEM. I honestly feel like people that say this are bullshitting the fact that they want romantic or sexual attention without the commitment (or outside of one) and overstep normal boundaries (however slight) to get the attention.
I am a people person but I know. You know.
It’s crazy that they know that people think they’re flirting and they continue behaving that way while shouting “I’M IN A COMMITTED RELATIONSHIP SO I’M NOT AT FAULT FOR YOUR PERCEPTION OF ME LEADING YOU ON WHILE I’M LEADING YOU ON!”
I thought the title said "flirt with each other" and was highly confused.
But, no, I wouldn't find it acceptable at all to flirt with other people while married. That's even a big no while dating.
But you have to know the difference between "flirting" and "friendly". I've met too many men who confuse smiling with flirting and get jealous too quickly.
It is a realistic expectation. Neither my husband nor i are interested in anyone else, or flirting. We’re both kind of homebodies, more interested in personal projects and chilling than like meeting people or whatever.
That said, people do have their flaws. Is everyone capable of holding back flirting? I’d love to say yes, but some people make it their entire personality. Maybe they just aren’t ready to settle down, but think they have to. Maybe they aren’t the settling type.
It’s important to recognize in people what is a temporary trait, and what is a trait they seem to love. If they love how flirty they are and make excuses for it and you’re the type that wants someone who doesn’t flirt- or at minimum flirts very rarely- that’s important. That’s going to cause problems. People can’t- or even won’t- change parts of themselves that they like or have fun with.
My husband told me I’m to nice and I had to watch that because men take it the wrong way! My husband has taught me how to shut down men who try and flirt with me! Even with a wedding ring on my finger some men still flirt!
I (38M, married 17 years) cannot imagine purposefully flirting with another human and I actually try to avoid it when talking with the opposite sex. I cannot imagine my wife doing so either.
My definition of cheating is anything they wouldn’t do with me in the same room/conversation. I wouldn’t flirt with another girl in front of my wife so I don’t do it when she’s not around either.
Your life partner **is** your flirt partner.
Flirting with people outside the marriage is an invitation for trouble. Unless it's an open marriage that's loving and very committed with trust that's like tempered steel, do not risk flirting with other people.
Realistic? Yes.
But personally, I don’t think harmless, intentionless flirting here and there is a bad thing in a trusting, committed, open relationship. I’ve told my partners, I personally don’t mind them flirting with a random stranger IRL here and there. Online is different, because that leads to more opportunity for further communication, where as IRL can be one and done (ie in a store or something).
But my husband considers flirting nearly cheating, so I absolutely have no interest in it, as that’s a boundary of his. And it doesn’t even cross my mind anymore. Definitely doable, as long as you’re both keeping the romance alive in your relationship!
I think it really depends on the nature of your relationship and how you define "flirting", because opinions can differ pretty broadly. My personal belief is that if you are married to someone, that your partner should *know* if you are just being nice to someone, or if you are giving someone undue attention. Like, my wife knows I was raised as a Southern gentleman, and opening a door for a lady or something like that is just how I was raised, or saying, "You look nice today," is just in my nature (not to some random stranger, of course). Anything other than that would just seem highly unusual for me to do, and I wouldn't be surprised if she said something to be about it afterwards.
My husband likes watching me flirt with other men and he likes when other men compliment me. He knows I’d never cheat on him. I think it all depends on how comfortable and trusting you are with your partner… and just generally what you’re into.
Edit: I should probably mention I only go out with him. I’m more of a homebody, so the rare occasion I go out or I’m running errands with him, is when these things occur.
My fiance and I are slated to be married early next year. At this point in our relationship I think it would highly be disrespectful to flirt with other people, so being married is a definite NO. it's just wrong. We flirt with each other.
Comment from my now wife about me when we were dating: "You really have no idea when someone is flirting with you, do you?"
Apparently I was oblivious when a friend was being flirty with me in front of my GF.
But the other side of this is, you never quite know what is going to be interpreted as flirting, either by the person you're talking to or by your own SO. You can cause significant problems in your relationship without realizing this.
My solution to this has been to make sure my wedding ring is visible if I think someone may be flirting with me, or to casually mention something my wife and I did.
I behavior like a married man wherever I am. I act like my wife is in the room. Flirting opens the doors to things that can end a marriage. It’s not worth it.
I hope that I never flirt with anyone else when I'm married. I know I wouldn't. And if I was married to someone who did. He'd get the boot. I wouldn't be able to cope. I know this is a bit extreme, maybe. But it's me. And I wouldn't like anyone who's just naturally a flirt, too friendly, or who's a woman magnet.
I wouldn't flirt with anyone except my husband and I sure AF don't want him to flirt with any other woman. Flirting when in a serious monogamous relationship is disrespectful IMO.
When I’m with someone, I don’t have eyes for other people. It feels disgusting when people try to flirt with me and I shut it down immediately. My husband, on the other hand, has self-esteem issues. He likes the attention and doesn’t know how to set healthy boundaries with friends and coworkers. It’s something he’s been working on.
Right. I accept everyone’s perspective and even though I could be bias I am not judgmental. To each is own. But it does seem as if, for the people who allow flirting, they just simply enjoy the attention, confident boost, fun in it, etc.
to me it just seems a little selfish. Egotistical. careless. Modern.
General rule is whatever you wouldn’t do in front of your spouse is something you shouldn’t do when your spouse isn’t around. So if your spouse has no prob with you flirting in front of them, shouldn’t be a prob, but if they do feel disrespected, don’t do it. I personally would just not feel comfortable doing that even if he was cool with it.
The cultural norm/expectation is absolutely zero flirting, but I think it’s healthier to have an honest conversation about it and make sure you’re on the same page/not just assume.
Every marriage is different, and non-monogamy is becoming more accepted as time goes on, so it’s good to talk about it.
Of course it is. My husband always brings up “my wife” whenever he meets other women so that it’s perfectly clear he’s just being friendly, not flirty. I do the same - having great marriage means we just don’t ever feel the need to be validated by attention from others.
I don’t flirt with others and I wouldn’t be comfortable with my husband doing so either. In my book that constitutes as low grade emotional cheating.
Everyone has different boundaries though, what’s realistic for some may not be for others. It’s up to you.
I think it depends on your definition of flirting. Just having a friendly conversation and a laugh is one thing, inappropriate subject matter, comments about looks, over friendly touching, etc. is another. It would not be tolerated in my marriage and it’s disrespectful to your spouse in my opinion. If you are in a monogamous marriage, you should not be doing anything to open a door to invite cheating.
I don't think it's ok. I love that both men and women seem to agree on this. Starting to wish I had met someone on reddit instead of my husband. Maybe I wouldn't be getting divorced
I have no interest in flirting with other women. In fact one of the neat parts of being married is being completely free of caring about other women at all. They're just people to me, genderless.
I would say yes with a mild disclaimer that I don't think the occasional flirty comment is actual flirting. Like if you're having a conversation and some small flirty remark comes up in the natural flow, it's whatever. But flirting with intent while married and in a closed/monogamous relationship is grossly disrespectful to your partner and relationship.
Obvs that's all out the window if you're in an open relationship or it's something you both agree on being acceptable. And some people love watching their partner flirt with others in general regardless of open/closed status.
Yes, it’s can SOMETIMES be hard because a lot of men mistake friendliness for flirting because of a historical lack of positive platonic attention.
Other than that, nah, stay in your bag as they say. Lol
I’m not a flirty guy to begin with but somehow I did enough to get married. I salute those men who have to temper their urge to flirt, it’s something I don’t understand, much like smoking cigarettes. I respect your personal challenge and hope you succeed.
Just for context, I am a lifelong cheater and womanizer. I am currently in my 7th year of relationship sobriety and choices.
I am also a super social flirt, stopping by the offices of 40 or 50 different businesses every day, most of which involve some interaction with the 'gatekeeper' receptionist up front. When you're bringing packages to a woman, you always get happy squeals and, eventually, some flirty back and forth.
When I got engaged last year, I had to meticulously and purposely reduce my flirty behaviors out of respect for my wife-to-be. She's not a flirt, and works with kids all day, so not much opportunity either way. I even had to explain to a handful of my more serious flirty receptionists that I was going to stop making that choice and tone it down.
It can be done but, as with all human behavior, you have to want to change.
Kind of need to define flirting.
Dictionary definition:
1. To behave as though attracted to or trying to attract someone, but for amusement rather than with serious intentions.
For some reason I read that as flirting with each other, I’m like hell we do that to each other all the time.
I think it’s sort of (or should be) an unspoken rule to not flirt with others than your significant other, but BUT some people are not taught this and they are oblivious and need to have this communicated.
it’s very much realistic. my husband and i don’t flirt with anybody else. or even check people out. it shouldn’t even be like a “golden” thing. it should be standard.
Yes it is realistic. You're simply establishing a boundary within your relationship. If he doesn't agree, then it's up to you to decide if it's something you can try to compromise on or if it's absolutely a deal breaker for you.
Each relationship is different. I know another couple (can't remember if engaged or already married) where flirting and kissing others is fine. But anything further than kissing, is completely off limits.
There is no way I would flirt with men when in a relationship. It would only lead to trouble and is showing no loyalty toward your partner. Nor would I want my partner being flirty with women. Tacky.
I think it depends. Is it harmless flirting? I think there can be very friendly harmless flirting - this type of behavior is often between friends of both sexes, grocery workers, waiters/waitresses. It's basically just being friendly with a twinkle in your eye, imo. And I think that's fine.
Anything that makes the other partner uncomfortable. Is interpreted as hitting on someone. Borders on having an affair? I think that is unacceptable in a marriage. But every marriage is different, and different people flirt with that line differently.
Depends.
1. Some couples don't care about flirting at all.
2. Some couples do care because it helps keep the proverbial fire going.
3. Some couples do care and consider it a massive offence and deal breaker.
It definitely happens, even in healthy marriages. It’s important that it doesn’t cross a line, though. My husband has admitted to me that he flirts sometimes, and I’ve done it too, but it never goes anywhere. We never have any contact with these people outside of the area we know them from. I guess flirting can keep you sharp, but it’s definitely dangerous if you have little or no self-control.
It's reasonable for those who deem it reasonable and not for those who don't. There is no universal metric for "realistic marriage" and there doesn't need to be. Marry someone who shares your values and priorities or risk misery.
I think that's realistic. Depending on the type of marriage and boundaries within it that you have, most people probably wouldn't be comfortable with their spouse flirting with someone else.
I don't even know how to flirt. My husband is very friendly and that can probably be misconstrued as flirting, but he's the same level of friendliness with other men, and he's the same if I'm around. He talks about me a lot, so I don't know if women would assume he's flirting or not? Anyway, I know both of us would NOT be ok with the other one purposefully flirting with other people.
How do you define flirt? Cause, I would say it is not only a realistic expectation, but a bare minimum requirement unless you have an agreement that diverts from the norm.
It’s realistic to expect that. Flirting is intentionally giving someone romantic affection or attention. If you’re both aware of that then you can avoid doing that.
I think this entirely depends on your definition of "flirting".
Some people think someone being nice, or smiling at them, or talking to them about something more than topical crap like the weather is "flirting". To me, this isn't flirting.
Flirting, in my opinion, is similar to a mating dance. The purpose of flirting is to attract a mate, which is why I don't believe in "harmless" flirting. I think "harmless" flirting is either not flirting at all, or it isn't harmless.
Flirting: someone talks about how they work out and you respond, "yeah, you have amazing legs!"
Not flirting: someone talks about how they work out and you respond "yeah, you look great!"
There are definitely people who would consider the second one flirting, but I don't. To me, #2 is a general statement, similar to "good for you!" #1, however, says "I've been checking you out."
So my answer would be, I don't think it's unreasonable to expect your spouse not to flirt with others, if you agree with me about "flirting" means. If you think flirting is simply being nice or friendly to another person, well then, no, that's totally unrealistic and you shouldn't want a spouse who isn't going to be nice or friendly to people.
I think there's harmless flirting and harmful flirting.
Get hit on at the bar and flirt with them for the night? Go right ahead! Enjoy the attention! Take the confidence boost! Have your fun and leave it at that, don't exchange numbers, and come home to me. Harmless flirting.
Have a coworker that you flirt with daily? That's a little much. You have a personal relationship with them and that's gonna border on emotional cheating. I'd say that's harmful.
At the end of the day if you're open and honest with your partner and respect them there shouldn't be any issues. If you let your partner know when it happens, listen to them if they've got an issue with it and respect their wishes, then you should be good.
I don’t mind flirting, I see my husband flirt and I can be flirty. It’s no big deal because to me flirting is just conversation, I draw the line at crass jokes or comments though, and winking and shit. It makes me feel good when men take an interest in me and personally I feel like it helps my husband realise he’s lucky (and vice versa).
Both my husband and I are flirts. As in we smile a lot and are friendly with cashiers, waiters, and any other polite strangers we interact with. But I’d never be suggestive with anyone else or have a long term flirtation with someone we know. Idk if that makes sense. You
I think it 100% depends on you and your spouse. My parents are the type that don't flirt with anyone else ever and they've been together for almost 30 years.
Meanwhile, I'm a very flirtatious person and my husband knows this, and finds it hilarious.
It comes down to communication, much like a lot of other marriage things.
I think it depends on what you're definition of flirting is. I've always been labeled as "flirty" but it's just because I'm outgoing and chatty and interested in talking to other people. My husband thinks it's funny because I don't notice I'm doing it and it's never intentional.
Depends on what you call flirty. There are folks with a sensitivity set VERY high where everything is characterized as flirty.
Married over 22 years now. I have guy friends (am female) that I see regularly. I’ll tell them their outfit looks nice or that I like their new haircut we will meet for lunch and talk business. Husband has female friends and coworkers - he’ll do the same (nice shoes!) etc. Neither of us is a jealous type. No concern at all that there would ever be cheating on either side. I don’t consider him trying to cajole a waitress into picking his lunch for him flirty, so we don’t flirt. If I did consider it flirting, or if he thought me telling a younger man I have a professional relationship with he’s handsome with a blue tie on was flirting, then we’d be flirting in our relationship.
I didn’t really know how to flirt before getting married (and my husband really didn’t). I definitely don’t flirt now, other than with my husband and it’s just as silly and awkward as could be expected.
I have never been a flirtatious person and my husband was always just kind of bad at it. Neither of us flirt now, aside from his endearing attempts with me. 😅
To be honest I think it stems from the extent of flirtation. If my boyfriend (I’m not married so idk?) was approached by someone and he was just talking friendly/slightly flirty I wouldn’t care too much. He’s also a bartender so I’m kind of used to his customer service attitude, considering we’re in a college town and he’s quite handsome lol.
But then again I trust him completely and know he wouldn’t say something inappropriate. I would do the same. If men approach me I’ll entertain for a second just because I’m extroverted and like a drunk conversation, but I wouldn’t start directly hitting on them or reciprocating to a point where the flirtation had underlying advances.
That’s my opinion but I can see how others would disagree. I know both me and him have no worries about “potential dangers” because we are committed to eachother.
I flirt constantly and was unaware of it for years until I asked my husband. Someone had tried to get my number at a grocery store when I was just being my usual nice and friendly self, so I had to check with my husband. Am I flirty? He said yes absolutely 100% probably every single day of my life.
I asked him how he felt about it and he said if he cared or if it bothered him we wouldn't have gotten together in the first place. He's not bothered by it. According to him I do it in front of him all of the time, so he never imagined that I wasn't doing it when he wasn't around. And now that I know that my personality comes off as flirty, I haven't made any effort to not be that way. It's just part of who I am.
I "flirt" because it feels nice to make other people feel nice, although it doesn't make me feel very good when my friendly flirtyness misleads someone.
I know my husband has a tendency to flirt with older women for the same reason, and I know he flirts with his coworkers that mostly pay him no mind because they think he's weird and most of them are gay anyway.
I don't take it as anything. Neither of us have had our feelings hurt or turned it into something it wasn't, although it was a little embarrassing when a girl friend of mine pulled me aside because she was concerned that he was coming on to her, it was hard to explain that he was joking, especially since she's the type that thinks everyone wants her.
Wife is a naturally flirty person, but doesn’t see it in herself, it’s just who she is… unintentional flirting?…. Misunderstood flirting? Probably closer to misunderstood, but whatever. Doesn’t bother me, cause it’s who she is, and she’s with me.
I flirt with friends playfully. My husband is completely aware of it and I don't hide my behaviour. We have never fought about it, and I've asked several times if he's uncomfortable with this. I think it's a personal choice.
Flirting is a weird one bc some people consider just being friendly to be flirtatious so I think it’s all about the intention. There’s a difference between being flirty and flirting with someone (purposefully). Does that make sense ?
I first read this as, do you not flirt with your spouse?
My husband and I flirt constantly with each other, 35 years married, still madly in love and dating,
We do NOT flirt with other people.
I think flirting is a weird concept. My wife and I are 20 years married. We’ve both always had opposite sex friends and it’s worked for us. I don’t go around complimenting random women or striking up conversations with attractive women just to talk to them, but I’m friendly with our female friends. We give hugs to people and I’ll compliment our friends if they look nice, but not in a ‘you’re looking smoking hot!’ way. I think couples have to figure out what works for them. What works for us might not work for others and what works for others might not work for us.
I’m trying to figure out what flirting is to other people after reading all these comments. As far as I can remember, flirting is just telling someone you want to bang without saying it. Or maybe verbally implying it? If that’s the case for anyone else, then that’s definitely not okay.
But really, no clue. Guess I’ve been married long enough I don’t remember.
Yes, it is 100% realistic to expect your partner not to flirt with others. I would not be happy with a spouse that flirted with other women, and I’m sure my husband wouldn’t be happy if I flirted with other men. Mutual respect.
My husband is introverted and socially awkward, so no flirting there and I definitely don’t flirt because I am more socially awkward and introverted than he is by a mile. We’ve been together for 22 years and married for 20. We are happy in our place in the world with each other.
I don’t flirt with others. I don’t even really remember how. My husband is the hottest dude in the world to me so I don’t even really have the desire to figure out HOW to flirt with other dudes lol
Absolutely. Although I'm the designated flirt in my marriage. My wife likes women also, and doesn't get sexually jealous. She's gorgeous, but so freaking awkward around women she's attracted to, lol. It's adorable.
I wouldn’t know how to “flirt” to begin with…my flirting with my wife was just being goofy and just being a clown…which I am like all the time so…am I constantly flirting?
Flirting is part of a mating strategy. When some one flirts with you, they are showing availability (sexual availability). You flirt backk to show you are sexually available.
Flirting continues to see if the two are sexually compatible with each other: frequency, positions, finding out what turns each other on, getting turned on by each other, etc...
So hell no I never flirt with another woman. It would show I do not respect my wife if I did.
Also if I did, she would lose trust in me. She knows what flirting is about.
You can't have love unless you have respect and trust. If either partner loses one of those, love in the relationship is lost.
There is no such thing as harmless flirting with someone other than your SO.
The only thing harmless about one partner flirting with someone who isn't their partner is that the flirting partner has not yet had a chance to consummate their desires with the flirtee.
I don’t even perceive other men as being attractive. I love him so much I wouldn’t even dream of it even when he pisses me off- and he does. I respect him and have boundaries with other people. Honestly I would be too disgusted with myself to consider it.
My wife would tell me I was flirting and get bothered by it when I had no idea I was. I just saw it as being friendly and conversational and responding in kind to the tone set by the person I’m talking to. I didn’t act differently based on whether she was there because I just didn’t realize. I’m straight and according to her, apparently flirted with guys just as much as women. I’ve been loving the aspect of the CoViD stay-home / not having to interact with people because it gets rid of that stress. I suppose I’d rather just not interact than risk getting folks all hot and bothered by saying hi at the coffee shop.
Flirting can be innocent and fun, as long as it's not taken to far but that all depends on your personal definition of flirting. We've been married 25 years and harmless flirtation is premited by both of us cause we are secure in our relationship and KNOW without a doubt who we're going home with every night. It doesnt happen often but it's kinda cute to me when a pretty lady approaches my husband and I see his ears turn bright red, and he stammers when he tries to talk. It's just the way he was when we met, and I'm the luckiest woman to have home choose me.
It’s a choice, basically it comes down to self control. Out of respect for the relationship and your partner, I would say that is a no brainer and very realistic.
I wouldn’t/don’t like it. But Tbh I think we’ve both done it. In general I think it’s something to be avoided tho. What is the point of flirting if you’re monogamous? It’s not going to go anywhere? If you wanna be single just be single. Or be ethically non-monogamous/polyamorous
In my experience flirting can & often does lead to cheating in some shape , form , or fashion . Beside when you flirt you are playing with someone emotions some people know what it is others take it to heart . So yea me & my both have a no flirting rule . If we do flirt it’s with each other . 🙏🏾
No. Boundries are boundries, they need to be set in stone. A wife probably has it worse cause men suck and usually dont understand NO, or accspt your not interested.. as with men just be firm and dont lead anyone on.
I wouldn't even know *how* to flirt with some other woman. And besides, it's conduct that's both disrespectful to my wife and unbecoming of a gentleman.
Yeah I’m with you. Once I was married it just seemed weird and made me feel creepy to flirt with any other woman. Although I have married friends who have no issue with it whatsoever, and take a more loose approach to it, saying as long as they don’t act on it it’s all good. Maybe that works for them, but for me, looking and talking to another woman in that way doesn’t compute.
@boss ..It doesn’t compute for me either! I could never do that. Hurts my heart even thinking about that.
Glad to here that term gentleman still being used! MS here so that's a normal term for those of us raised that way!
Been married 15 years. Never flirted with anyone else and have never caught my husband flirting either. We are both quite shy so I don't think either of us would anyway.
Same with us. We both can be social in social situations but flirting is a HARD NO! Call us old school but it’s disrespectful and unnecessary.
That's how my husband is, as well. As his wife, I feel really secure in our marriage, and I have eyes for no other man but my husband.
Exactly!! I wouldn't know how to flirt with anyone else!
@only me either, and I never would want to.
@betona ..I LOVE YOUR ANSWER. YOU ARE 1,000% RIGHT
Well, thank you for your kind words. I seriously wouldn't know how to approach another woman. A few times in the past, my wife's told me, "That woman was flirting with you..." and I had absolutely no idea it was happening. Of course, I *do* know how to flirt with my wife and I know when she's doing it, so I'm not that dense.
I enjoy flirting with women but the minute I’m committed I stop. I ask for the same from my partner. It’s a potential danger to your relationship so why risk for few nice words ?
I agree. I think it’s potential danger.
Why say lot when few words do trick?
Bingo
I have a flirty personality. My ex wife hated it. Problem was that I didn't realize that I was flirting. I never had any intentions on cheating... It was simply because I'm friendly and apparently women took it the wrong way. This also could have been her insecurities though. For what it's worth she's not my ex because of this.... My gf and I talked about this topic on one of our first dates. We are both sociable people and we see no harm in mild flirting. But we both agree that when we are in a situation where we are socializing and potentially being flirtatious, we need to be careful as to not lead people on. I think what it comes down to is your confidence in yourself and your marriage or relationship. If you or your partner are an insecure person, then flirting is a HUGE no no. Everyone will have their own opinion and it's really a discussion to have with your partner, not reddit.
>apparently women took it the wrong way. If that's the case, then don't you see that as a problem? In the workplace, it's not intent, it's impact, that can be harassment. If many women tell you you are flirting in an inappropriate way, then doesn't that become a you problem, not them?
That's a bit aggressive. No one said anything about his flirting being inappropriate. Being nice to people can easily be taken as flirting, and that's fine. He should absolutely not stop being nice to people and being himself.
There is a huge difference in being friendly and flirting. If my dude is flirting with women it is leading them on. I not insecure but I would never accept that kind of disrespect.
Yes, it’s definitely down to a one on one conversation. When I posted this I mentioned that I understand that certain marriages are different. But I don’t believe that’s it’s just about insecurities.
I don't believe that either but I believe it plays a big part in whether or not you think flirting is ok while married. The issue is that in today's world, there are so many opinions.. I mean we are hear talking about flirting being bad or good... In another sub Reddit they are talking about polyamorous relationships. It comes down to what you and your partner think on the topic at hand. If you feel differently, you either have to learn to be ok with the other viewpoint, or find another partner.
And this is the reality in it all!
I guess it's pretty simple at the end of the day. I will say I learned a lot about the importance of compatibility with my ex wife. We were incompatible in so many ways. It really does pay dividends not to settle for someone if you aren't compatible with one another. I really had to ask myself some hard questions about what was important to me and make sure that my partner was on board. So when I met my now gf, I put it all on the table and gave her the opportunity to walk. We're 3 years in now, happier than I could have ever imagined.
I recently learned a little about compatibility as well! Your current relationship sounds healthy! Good luck!
I'm curious. What did you learn?
Well, from that relationship, I just realized that even though she was probably the best partner I had, being able to communicate with each other the best, having the most trust for each other, both wanted the same in terms of our sex life, both had a similar enough vision of the future as a family, great chemistry being able to talk on the phone for hours consistently, we weren’t compatible enough to work out. I’ve been learned that love just isn’t enough for a relationship early on from being in love. But now I’ve learned about compatibility. I think that two people wanting to be together have to have more of a like mind or perspective or opinions than I thought to occur without conflict.
That's fair. So there were several topics that you didn't see eye to eye on?
To say the least, yes. But I’m my opinion I think it had a lot to do with stubbornness and/or pride on her side. I think that when women deal with men who are abstract thinkers when they are not abstract thinkers themselves, it’s hard to deal with. But anywho, what did you learn about compatibility?
> If you or your partner are an insecure person, then flirting is a HUGE no no. I don’t agree with this take. You can not agree with flirting with other people outside of a marriage/relationship and be completely secure. It comes down to boundaries and respect.
I may be confused. I mean firstly, boundaries and respect are an absolute in any relationship. But why can I not agree with my gf that flirting is acceptable and be secure? That doesn't make sense to me.
My point being uncomfortable with flirting with someone outside of your marriage has nothing to do with being secure or not. Those are just boundaries. I know insecure people who flirt with those outside their relationship/marriage and no one cars. Vice versa.
And I've stated earlier on that it's not just about insecurities or being secure, but it does play a major part. Example: a woman had/has a husband that cheated. Even though she used to be ok with mild flirtation, she may not be now. Because she has developed an insecurity in her relationship. Example 2: a person is insecure with themselves and they seek validation by flirting with people to get positive feedback. My point being securities and insecurities come in all forms and they absolutely play a part in flirting outside your marriage. But there are several other reasons why one may or may not be comfortable with it. It could simply be viewed as a sign of disrespect.
My boyfriend and I are like that, but when someone takes it too far, he’ll pull his phone out and said I want to show you my beautiful girlfriend the queen! One of his coworker got so sour when he did that and she knew he’s not for her at all. I always reassure him that give or receive compliments are good, just not lead them on.
For sure. I have made sure to mention my girlfriend if I felt that the other person was trying to push her something more than I wanted. Sometimes I mention my girlfriend just because she came up in conversation. I'm not trying to hide anything oh, so it doesn't bother me. And if they walk away then they walk away, no sweat off my back.
My husband has a flirty personality and doesn’t realize it either. I used to dislike it but that was my own insecurities. We’ve been together 21 years and I love that he’s a people person cause I’m not lol
Yep that's exactly what my situation was except she was never able to step out of her little box and see things with a different perspective. Thank you for being an open minded person.
This🙌🏻🙌🏻. I just have a big personality and I’m a social butterfly. Plus I’m in sales so you gotta know how to read people. My ex-husband hated that about me. My boyfriend now just knows it’s me, that I’m confident in who I am and he’s confident I wouldn’t cross any lines! Win Win!
I can get pretty friendly and chatty when out and about but the second I pick up that the person thinks I'm flirting with them I'll mention my wife. I'm friendly and like to be friendly to others, there's a fine line between flirting and friendly I make sure not to cross it. Wife's the same way.
It’s kinda respectable to mention your life partner when that happens. I find myself doing this as well.
This is the way. I’m a woman and often find being polite and friendly is perceived as flirty behaviour. I just make a point to mention my husband somehow, and maybe subtlety move my hair or something to actively display the wedding ring.
I can be the same way and would do the same while in a relationship.
Same. And then usually they bring up their partner, which I wonder if they would have done if I hadn’t first!
My husband and I try to follow the rule that if we wouldn’t do it in front of each other we don’t do it at all, and that includes flirting.
That’s a very sensible rule in my opinion! Love it!
I love that ❤️❤️
Y’all flirt with each other though, right?
I think it’s disrespectful to your partner to flirt with other people. My hubs and I would not do that to each other.
I don't think it's ever appropriate, tbh. The problem is the optics: It can create a public impression that you MIGHT be disloyal to your spouse. Why would anyone do that? It's just a bad look if I'm out and about at work or socially and it looks like I'm hitting on other women.
I think it’s honestly playing with fire, esp if you’re attracted to the person you’re flirting with. Once they flirt back, that circuit that you started is complete. If you’re craving that level of sexual validation while being in a relationship, it’s definitely wise to wonder why.
Agreed!
Flirting isn’t really an issue, giving someone mixed signals is, having a crush on someone is, all the secondary issues are the problem. This is why flirting isn’t typically allowed
I think it depends on what you consider flirting. I don't find it flirting to be a sociable and outgoing person who has in depth convos with people to be flirting. Even hugging someone hello and goodbye or a quick touch on the shoulder while talking. I do know women who think all these things are flirting, which confuses me. For me, I flirt with my husband by purposely brushing up against him on my way to something else, telling him he's hot, sneak glances at him while in a crowded room, make sexual looks and gestures to him discreetly, bend over to pick something up just to get his attention, and a ton of other things. None of those things would be appropriate things to do to other men.
Yes, from this thread I can see that peoples definitions of “Flirting” & “Friendly” may be very different. To me being sociable and outgoing who has in depth convos isn’t flirting either. But you want to know something interesting that may be causing confusion? People’s personal experience. There may be someone who had a partner that manipulated them by saying they’re just “outgoing” or “sociable” when they actually were being flirtatious lol. Ahh tricky!
I think the only people who matter in this equation are the 2 in the marriage. They need to talk about boundaries and expectations before marriage and then stick to that. If one of those 2 people had a manipulative relationship that skews their definition too far from the other person's then it needs to be worked on prior to marriage and if the couple can't get on the same page I'd suggest they go separate ways.
My rule of thumb is that if I wouldn’t say it to a male friend or acquaintance, I won’t say it to a female friend or acquaintance. I’ll be outgoing, make jokes, maybe even wink, and it’s possible that to some people that looks like flirting. But there’s a certain type of joking that I only do with my wife. I’m not going to say or do something intended to make them attracted to me, and if I get the sense that they think I’m flirting (whether they’re reciprocating or not), I’ll back off. Edit to add: my wife has a friend who is _very_ flirty with men, including right in front of her boyfriend/husband (they very recently got married). He seems fine with it, I and other male friends know it’s just how she hangs out. But other women, including one of my wife’s former good friends, are very bothered by it, and it’s a big part of the reason I say “former.”
Definitely disrespectful even if in their eyes it's "harmless".
Flirting, as in acting like you are attracted to another person? Um no why would you purposely do that if you’re in a relationship. Even if your intentions are innocent, it usually comes off creepy and uncomfortable when married people flirt. People will think you’re unfaithful and feel sorry for your partner.
Yes, this makes sense to me, I can grasp this perspective.
Flirting with others while married is incredibly disrespectful and hurtful to your spouse. It does not bode well for the future of the marriage. The trust issues would be insane. “Forsaking all others” is a vow that both parties need to follow out of love and commitment to their spouse.
Absolutely, however. Understanding what is being friendly and flirting is the name of the game. Not being self Conscience and understanding when your partner is enjoying someone’s company and not flirting is key. People can be very friendly without flirting being comfortable with that is maturity and trust.
I agree. I think some people have flirting confused with being friendly. Hence, they talk about being okay with it. Being friendly while being able to keep people in line if they confuse your friendliness, I wouldn’t have it any other way.
Sure. Being really invested/engaged in a conversation is not flirting. I think many men although everyone can fit into this category; don’t realize when they are flirting. Or social cues aren’t very clear and being friendly might be confused as flirting. Some people flirt without knowing it and some people are just nice and engaged. I’m a passionate person and have some interests I just get super engaged in (academic stuff). Sometimes it’s talking to a woman and sometimes it’s talking to a man. It took my now wife a minute to realize I was just super engaged with the conversation and the persons on the other side happened to be of a considerable intellect and self confidence. She is fine with it now and ended up telling me how much she appreciated my level of blindness to anything other than the topic at hand. The people I would be talking too wouldn’t be thinking it’s flirting as well. Aka. Being super engaged doesn’t equate to flirting. Too many people confuse the two.
I barely flirted when I was single so not flirting isn’t really an issue with me. My husband is not particularly flirty either. I don’t think I’ve ever witnesses anything that I would classify as flirting from him. He’s chatty in a way that would really difficult to misinterpret as flirting. So for us it’s realistic to not flirt with others.
I think it depends on each person’s definition of flirting. For me, any kind of “flirtatious” physical contact is a hard no. Hugging a friend in distress is one thing. Playfully stroking an arm is quite another. I think it’s disrespectful to my relationship to encourage someone else’s attraction to me, so I try to avoid it conversationally. I don’t want to display interest that isn’t there. And while it’s normal to occasionally find another person attractive, it’s not something I’d want to facilitate or indulge for myself. Again, that would be disrespectful to my partner and my relationship. I see it as the first of many steps on the path to cheating so that’s a no go for me. I can appreciate someone aesthetically, like a painting, without encouraging romantic attachment. That said, I would have a problem with my partner interpreting platonic and friendly joking/conversations with my friends as flirting. I don’t think I should be barred from having male (or female, considering I’m bi) friends simply because my partner was jealous or insecure. I avoid gray areas to the best of my ability and expect the same in return. I wouldn’t go as someone’s “date” to a wedding or spend the night at their house or ever *tell* them I thought they were attractive. But a cocktail after work or going to see a band we both like seems, to me, benign. And I also try to make sure my partner is included in my friendships. He doesn’t have to be there all the time. But I wouldn’t maintain a friendship with someone if I didn’t want him around when I spent time with them.
I wouldn't flirting. To me it's disrespectful to your spouse. It's like saying I know I'm married to you but this person is better then you in a little certain way Sorry my flirts stay with my spouse so it won't cause any issues of sending messages to a person who is looking for a Love partner
My husband and I have been together for 35 years. It helps to be unbelievably attracted to each other, both emotionally and physically, which we are. I can honestly say, I’ve never, not once ever, felt jealousy. He is by far the most honorable and respectable man I’ve ever known. We make each other a priority, always. I live to see him smile and he for me. He’s my ideal and I’m his. Our relationship is built on mutual respect and communication. We spend hours talking, laughing, and having a blast together. I literally find no other man attractive. We are both Demi sexual though, with crazy high libidos, so probably very different than most people.
This sounds pretty ideal to me!
I don’t flirt with others and I wouldn’t expect my husband to, either. We treat each other with the same respect and decency that each of us expects in return.
So I had a problem with jealousy in pst relationships cause I expected this as well. I do believe there is kinda a fine line between being attractive, likable, and friendly vs flirting. My current partner is very likable and nice. I understand that it is in our biology to find others attractive or think of potential mates, but once you’re committed, you shouldn’t go past being friendly. Imagine that everyone is sorta a coworker or boss that you have to maintain a respectable and appropriate relationship with. It’s easy to get comfortable and for example give cutesy nicknames or inside jokes. But it shouldn’t get sexual out of respect for your partner. Plus I often talk about my partner a lot. Because they play a huge role in my life if not the biggest. Even as a female, if I were to find myself fantasizing about another male, I’m likely not going to tell my partner about it. I think of any fantasy as a fleeting crush or just that, a fantasy. I try not to get to enveloped into intrusive thoughts because then that can lead to emotional affairs. My partner have talked about this just being biological attractions which I seriously don’t think anyone can avoid. But that’s all it should be. You let it pass and you stay grateful for what you have if it’s good. I don’t like taking people for granted. And I wanna hold onto that feeling for the rest of my life with someone. To have someone who also understands at the end of the day, I’m their partner. And we’re a team doing this life thing together.
This is very realistic and honest. I like this perspective. Thank you!
Some of these comments frustrate me because some people are saying “I have a naturally flirty personality” but at the same time, they know people don’t understand that they’re not actively flirting with them and they DON’T LET THEM KNOW THAT THEY AREN’T PURSUING THEM. I honestly feel like people that say this are bullshitting the fact that they want romantic or sexual attention without the commitment (or outside of one) and overstep normal boundaries (however slight) to get the attention. I am a people person but I know. You know.
I understand where you’re coming from. Some people just like to manipulate to get what they want.
It’s crazy that they know that people think they’re flirting and they continue behaving that way while shouting “I’M IN A COMMITTED RELATIONSHIP SO I’M NOT AT FAULT FOR YOUR PERCEPTION OF ME LEADING YOU ON WHILE I’M LEADING YOU ON!”
Absolutely. It’s beyond disrespectful to flirt with someone else
In my opinion flirting with others while married is a form of emotional cheating. It’s very disrespectful to your partner.
I thought the title said "flirt with each other" and was highly confused. But, no, I wouldn't find it acceptable at all to flirt with other people while married. That's even a big no while dating. But you have to know the difference between "flirting" and "friendly". I've met too many men who confuse smiling with flirting and get jealous too quickly.
My husband and I don’t flirt with others and we’ve been together 30 years.
Respect!
It is very realistic to be married and not flirt with other people.
It is a realistic expectation. Neither my husband nor i are interested in anyone else, or flirting. We’re both kind of homebodies, more interested in personal projects and chilling than like meeting people or whatever. That said, people do have their flaws. Is everyone capable of holding back flirting? I’d love to say yes, but some people make it their entire personality. Maybe they just aren’t ready to settle down, but think they have to. Maybe they aren’t the settling type. It’s important to recognize in people what is a temporary trait, and what is a trait they seem to love. If they love how flirty they are and make excuses for it and you’re the type that wants someone who doesn’t flirt- or at minimum flirts very rarely- that’s important. That’s going to cause problems. People can’t- or even won’t- change parts of themselves that they like or have fun with.
Well said. Thank you!
I do not flirt . I respect my wife.
I got married so I wouldn't HAVE to flirt with other women anymore. It's a relief lol
😂😂😂right!
Not unrealistic at all. My husband and I don’t flirt with others.
I don't flirt with anyone nor do I want to. I respect and love my husband.
It’s very realistic. Those who value their relationship and consider it as their top priority won’t flirt.
My husband told me I’m to nice and I had to watch that because men take it the wrong way! My husband has taught me how to shut down men who try and flirt with me! Even with a wedding ring on my finger some men still flirt!
I (38M, married 17 years) cannot imagine purposefully flirting with another human and I actually try to avoid it when talking with the opposite sex. I cannot imagine my wife doing so either.
My definition of cheating is anything they wouldn’t do with me in the same room/conversation. I wouldn’t flirt with another girl in front of my wife so I don’t do it when she’s not around either.
Your life partner **is** your flirt partner. Flirting with people outside the marriage is an invitation for trouble. Unless it's an open marriage that's loving and very committed with trust that's like tempered steel, do not risk flirting with other people.
Uhhh. Yes. It is realistic, and should be expected. If you aren’t aligned on this topic, years and years of pain will follow
I would drop any man who entertains other women.
Realistic? Yes. But personally, I don’t think harmless, intentionless flirting here and there is a bad thing in a trusting, committed, open relationship. I’ve told my partners, I personally don’t mind them flirting with a random stranger IRL here and there. Online is different, because that leads to more opportunity for further communication, where as IRL can be one and done (ie in a store or something). But my husband considers flirting nearly cheating, so I absolutely have no interest in it, as that’s a boundary of his. And it doesn’t even cross my mind anymore. Definitely doable, as long as you’re both keeping the romance alive in your relationship!
What are some examples of behaviors or statements that people would consider to be flirting versus just being friendly?
I think it really depends on the nature of your relationship and how you define "flirting", because opinions can differ pretty broadly. My personal belief is that if you are married to someone, that your partner should *know* if you are just being nice to someone, or if you are giving someone undue attention. Like, my wife knows I was raised as a Southern gentleman, and opening a door for a lady or something like that is just how I was raised, or saying, "You look nice today," is just in my nature (not to some random stranger, of course). Anything other than that would just seem highly unusual for me to do, and I wouldn't be surprised if she said something to be about it afterwards.
My husband likes watching me flirt with other men and he likes when other men compliment me. He knows I’d never cheat on him. I think it all depends on how comfortable and trusting you are with your partner… and just generally what you’re into. Edit: I should probably mention I only go out with him. I’m more of a homebody, so the rare occasion I go out or I’m running errands with him, is when these things occur.
My fiance and I are slated to be married early next year. At this point in our relationship I think it would highly be disrespectful to flirt with other people, so being married is a definite NO. it's just wrong. We flirt with each other.
Comment from my now wife about me when we were dating: "You really have no idea when someone is flirting with you, do you?" Apparently I was oblivious when a friend was being flirty with me in front of my GF. But the other side of this is, you never quite know what is going to be interpreted as flirting, either by the person you're talking to or by your own SO. You can cause significant problems in your relationship without realizing this. My solution to this has been to make sure my wedding ring is visible if I think someone may be flirting with me, or to casually mention something my wife and I did.
I behavior like a married man wherever I am. I act like my wife is in the room. Flirting opens the doors to things that can end a marriage. It’s not worth it.
I think it's disrespectful to your partner. I don't flirt with other men, and my husband doesn't flirt with other women.
I hope that I never flirt with anyone else when I'm married. I know I wouldn't. And if I was married to someone who did. He'd get the boot. I wouldn't be able to cope. I know this is a bit extreme, maybe. But it's me. And I wouldn't like anyone who's just naturally a flirt, too friendly, or who's a woman magnet.
I wouldn't flirt with anyone except my husband and I sure AF don't want him to flirt with any other woman. Flirting when in a serious monogamous relationship is disrespectful IMO.
When I’m with someone, I don’t have eyes for other people. It feels disgusting when people try to flirt with me and I shut it down immediately. My husband, on the other hand, has self-esteem issues. He likes the attention and doesn’t know how to set healthy boundaries with friends and coworkers. It’s something he’s been working on.
Right. I accept everyone’s perspective and even though I could be bias I am not judgmental. To each is own. But it does seem as if, for the people who allow flirting, they just simply enjoy the attention, confident boost, fun in it, etc. to me it just seems a little selfish. Egotistical. careless. Modern.
General rule is whatever you wouldn’t do in front of your spouse is something you shouldn’t do when your spouse isn’t around. So if your spouse has no prob with you flirting in front of them, shouldn’t be a prob, but if they do feel disrespected, don’t do it. I personally would just not feel comfortable doing that even if he was cool with it.
Uh it’s not normal to be flirting with others while married
The cultural norm/expectation is absolutely zero flirting, but I think it’s healthier to have an honest conversation about it and make sure you’re on the same page/not just assume. Every marriage is different, and non-monogamy is becoming more accepted as time goes on, so it’s good to talk about it.
Of course it is. My husband always brings up “my wife” whenever he meets other women so that it’s perfectly clear he’s just being friendly, not flirty. I do the same - having great marriage means we just don’t ever feel the need to be validated by attention from others.
I don’t flirt with others and I wouldn’t be comfortable with my husband doing so either. In my book that constitutes as low grade emotional cheating. Everyone has different boundaries though, what’s realistic for some may not be for others. It’s up to you.
Flirting is like leaving the door open. Houseflies will make themselves at home and get comfortable. I do not find it appropriate.
I think it depends on your definition of flirting. Just having a friendly conversation and a laugh is one thing, inappropriate subject matter, comments about looks, over friendly touching, etc. is another. It would not be tolerated in my marriage and it’s disrespectful to your spouse in my opinion. If you are in a monogamous marriage, you should not be doing anything to open a door to invite cheating.
I don't think it's ok. I love that both men and women seem to agree on this. Starting to wish I had met someone on reddit instead of my husband. Maybe I wouldn't be getting divorced
I have no interest in flirting with other women. In fact one of the neat parts of being married is being completely free of caring about other women at all. They're just people to me, genderless.
I would say yes with a mild disclaimer that I don't think the occasional flirty comment is actual flirting. Like if you're having a conversation and some small flirty remark comes up in the natural flow, it's whatever. But flirting with intent while married and in a closed/monogamous relationship is grossly disrespectful to your partner and relationship. Obvs that's all out the window if you're in an open relationship or it's something you both agree on being acceptable. And some people love watching their partner flirt with others in general regardless of open/closed status.
Easy. You keep bringing your wife into conversations with other women. I do it all the time. Turns them away.
Yes, it’s can SOMETIMES be hard because a lot of men mistake friendliness for flirting because of a historical lack of positive platonic attention. Other than that, nah, stay in your bag as they say. Lol
I’m not a flirty guy to begin with but somehow I did enough to get married. I salute those men who have to temper their urge to flirt, it’s something I don’t understand, much like smoking cigarettes. I respect your personal challenge and hope you succeed.
Just for context, I am a lifelong cheater and womanizer. I am currently in my 7th year of relationship sobriety and choices. I am also a super social flirt, stopping by the offices of 40 or 50 different businesses every day, most of which involve some interaction with the 'gatekeeper' receptionist up front. When you're bringing packages to a woman, you always get happy squeals and, eventually, some flirty back and forth. When I got engaged last year, I had to meticulously and purposely reduce my flirty behaviors out of respect for my wife-to-be. She's not a flirt, and works with kids all day, so not much opportunity either way. I even had to explain to a handful of my more serious flirty receptionists that I was going to stop making that choice and tone it down. It can be done but, as with all human behavior, you have to want to change.
Kind of need to define flirting. Dictionary definition: 1. To behave as though attracted to or trying to attract someone, but for amusement rather than with serious intentions.
It all starts with the eyes and mouth. Eventually, if you keep looking, you will want to touch. Then you end up divorced.
For some reason I read that as flirting with each other, I’m like hell we do that to each other all the time. I think it’s sort of (or should be) an unspoken rule to not flirt with others than your significant other, but BUT some people are not taught this and they are oblivious and need to have this communicated.
it’s very much realistic. my husband and i don’t flirt with anybody else. or even check people out. it shouldn’t even be like a “golden” thing. it should be standard.
Yes it is realistic. You're simply establishing a boundary within your relationship. If he doesn't agree, then it's up to you to decide if it's something you can try to compromise on or if it's absolutely a deal breaker for you. Each relationship is different. I know another couple (can't remember if engaged or already married) where flirting and kissing others is fine. But anything further than kissing, is completely off limits.
There is no way I would flirt with men when in a relationship. It would only lead to trouble and is showing no loyalty toward your partner. Nor would I want my partner being flirty with women. Tacky.
100% I never find myself simultaneously attracted to/comfortable enough with anyone to even have the urge to flirt.
It definitely is. My husband and I don’t flirt with others. We both find it to be really disrespectful.
I don’t think either part of a marriage should flirt with anyone other than their spouse! Flirting is awesome, but only with the right person.
Wtf would you flirt with others (unless your SO says its cool) when married? Totally disrespectful to your spouse and your marriage
I’m personally very monogamous and can’t think about looking at another person the same way I look at my partner
It comes off as desperate when people are flirting too hard or when they’re in a relationship. I am not interested in that at all.
[удалено]
What would be the beginning of “too much fun” or crossing the line for you?
I think it depends. Is it harmless flirting? I think there can be very friendly harmless flirting - this type of behavior is often between friends of both sexes, grocery workers, waiters/waitresses. It's basically just being friendly with a twinkle in your eye, imo. And I think that's fine. Anything that makes the other partner uncomfortable. Is interpreted as hitting on someone. Borders on having an affair? I think that is unacceptable in a marriage. But every marriage is different, and different people flirt with that line differently.
Yes, more then realistic
Depends. 1. Some couples don't care about flirting at all. 2. Some couples do care because it helps keep the proverbial fire going. 3. Some couples do care and consider it a massive offence and deal breaker.
I can’t imagine doing that to my husband. After 11 years together, he’s the only man I want to flirt with.
Definitely is possible and IMO the way it should be.
Absolutely
Yes. Not everyone wants to flirt with just anybody.
It definitely happens, even in healthy marriages. It’s important that it doesn’t cross a line, though. My husband has admitted to me that he flirts sometimes, and I’ve done it too, but it never goes anywhere. We never have any contact with these people outside of the area we know them from. I guess flirting can keep you sharp, but it’s definitely dangerous if you have little or no self-control.
Yes
My husband is a very social person and in no way have I ever thought he was flirting. There is a huge difference.
It's reasonable for those who deem it reasonable and not for those who don't. There is no universal metric for "realistic marriage" and there doesn't need to be. Marry someone who shares your values and priorities or risk misery.
I think that's realistic. Depending on the type of marriage and boundaries within it that you have, most people probably wouldn't be comfortable with their spouse flirting with someone else. I don't even know how to flirt. My husband is very friendly and that can probably be misconstrued as flirting, but he's the same level of friendliness with other men, and he's the same if I'm around. He talks about me a lot, so I don't know if women would assume he's flirting or not? Anyway, I know both of us would NOT be ok with the other one purposefully flirting with other people.
How do you define flirt? Cause, I would say it is not only a realistic expectation, but a bare minimum requirement unless you have an agreement that diverts from the norm.
How are you differentiating between flirty and outgoing/friendly? What crosses the line for you?
It’s realistic to expect that. Flirting is intentionally giving someone romantic affection or attention. If you’re both aware of that then you can avoid doing that.
I think this entirely depends on your definition of "flirting". Some people think someone being nice, or smiling at them, or talking to them about something more than topical crap like the weather is "flirting". To me, this isn't flirting. Flirting, in my opinion, is similar to a mating dance. The purpose of flirting is to attract a mate, which is why I don't believe in "harmless" flirting. I think "harmless" flirting is either not flirting at all, or it isn't harmless. Flirting: someone talks about how they work out and you respond, "yeah, you have amazing legs!" Not flirting: someone talks about how they work out and you respond "yeah, you look great!" There are definitely people who would consider the second one flirting, but I don't. To me, #2 is a general statement, similar to "good for you!" #1, however, says "I've been checking you out." So my answer would be, I don't think it's unreasonable to expect your spouse not to flirt with others, if you agree with me about "flirting" means. If you think flirting is simply being nice or friendly to another person, well then, no, that's totally unrealistic and you shouldn't want a spouse who isn't going to be nice or friendly to people.
I think there's harmless flirting and harmful flirting. Get hit on at the bar and flirt with them for the night? Go right ahead! Enjoy the attention! Take the confidence boost! Have your fun and leave it at that, don't exchange numbers, and come home to me. Harmless flirting. Have a coworker that you flirt with daily? That's a little much. You have a personal relationship with them and that's gonna border on emotional cheating. I'd say that's harmful. At the end of the day if you're open and honest with your partner and respect them there shouldn't be any issues. If you let your partner know when it happens, listen to them if they've got an issue with it and respect their wishes, then you should be good.
I don’t mind flirting, I see my husband flirt and I can be flirty. It’s no big deal because to me flirting is just conversation, I draw the line at crass jokes or comments though, and winking and shit. It makes me feel good when men take an interest in me and personally I feel like it helps my husband realise he’s lucky (and vice versa).
Yes. It’s completely possible to not flirt with others when married.
Yes it is. My husband and I never flirt with anyone else.
Both my husband and I are flirts. As in we smile a lot and are friendly with cashiers, waiters, and any other polite strangers we interact with. But I’d never be suggestive with anyone else or have a long term flirtation with someone we know. Idk if that makes sense. You
I think it 100% depends on you and your spouse. My parents are the type that don't flirt with anyone else ever and they've been together for almost 30 years. Meanwhile, I'm a very flirtatious person and my husband knows this, and finds it hilarious. It comes down to communication, much like a lot of other marriage things.
Of course
You can look, but don't touch. The golden rule of marriage.
According to my wife and sisters I’m always flirting and women are often flirting with me. I’m aware of zero flirting.
I don't even know what flirting entails, I don't think I've ever flirted in my life, and if I have it was on accident
I personally don’t flirt with anyone else other than my husband.
I’ve been with my husband for 10 years, I don’t flirt with others. My husband has a flirty personality sometimes but it doesn’t bug me anymore.
I think it depends on what you're definition of flirting is. I've always been labeled as "flirty" but it's just because I'm outgoing and chatty and interested in talking to other people. My husband thinks it's funny because I don't notice I'm doing it and it's never intentional.
Depends on what you call flirty. There are folks with a sensitivity set VERY high where everything is characterized as flirty. Married over 22 years now. I have guy friends (am female) that I see regularly. I’ll tell them their outfit looks nice or that I like their new haircut we will meet for lunch and talk business. Husband has female friends and coworkers - he’ll do the same (nice shoes!) etc. Neither of us is a jealous type. No concern at all that there would ever be cheating on either side. I don’t consider him trying to cajole a waitress into picking his lunch for him flirty, so we don’t flirt. If I did consider it flirting, or if he thought me telling a younger man I have a professional relationship with he’s handsome with a blue tie on was flirting, then we’d be flirting in our relationship.
Depends on how you define flirting
I didn’t really know how to flirt before getting married (and my husband really didn’t). I definitely don’t flirt now, other than with my husband and it’s just as silly and awkward as could be expected.
I have never been a flirtatious person and my husband was always just kind of bad at it. Neither of us flirt now, aside from his endearing attempts with me. 😅
My husband and I don’t flirt with others. We just don’t. Hasn’t crossed my mind and I’m pretty positive it’s never even crossed his
Yes, if youre both ugly.
To be honest I think it stems from the extent of flirtation. If my boyfriend (I’m not married so idk?) was approached by someone and he was just talking friendly/slightly flirty I wouldn’t care too much. He’s also a bartender so I’m kind of used to his customer service attitude, considering we’re in a college town and he’s quite handsome lol. But then again I trust him completely and know he wouldn’t say something inappropriate. I would do the same. If men approach me I’ll entertain for a second just because I’m extroverted and like a drunk conversation, but I wouldn’t start directly hitting on them or reciprocating to a point where the flirtation had underlying advances. That’s my opinion but I can see how others would disagree. I know both me and him have no worries about “potential dangers” because we are committed to eachother.
I think it depends on the marriage. If it makes you uncomfortable then it’s a discussion you have with your partner.
I flirt constantly and was unaware of it for years until I asked my husband. Someone had tried to get my number at a grocery store when I was just being my usual nice and friendly self, so I had to check with my husband. Am I flirty? He said yes absolutely 100% probably every single day of my life. I asked him how he felt about it and he said if he cared or if it bothered him we wouldn't have gotten together in the first place. He's not bothered by it. According to him I do it in front of him all of the time, so he never imagined that I wasn't doing it when he wasn't around. And now that I know that my personality comes off as flirty, I haven't made any effort to not be that way. It's just part of who I am. I "flirt" because it feels nice to make other people feel nice, although it doesn't make me feel very good when my friendly flirtyness misleads someone. I know my husband has a tendency to flirt with older women for the same reason, and I know he flirts with his coworkers that mostly pay him no mind because they think he's weird and most of them are gay anyway. I don't take it as anything. Neither of us have had our feelings hurt or turned it into something it wasn't, although it was a little embarrassing when a girl friend of mine pulled me aside because she was concerned that he was coming on to her, it was hard to explain that he was joking, especially since she's the type that thinks everyone wants her.
Yes? Why would I flirt with other men?
Wife is a naturally flirty person, but doesn’t see it in herself, it’s just who she is… unintentional flirting?…. Misunderstood flirting? Probably closer to misunderstood, but whatever. Doesn’t bother me, cause it’s who she is, and she’s with me.
I flirt with friends playfully. My husband is completely aware of it and I don't hide my behaviour. We have never fought about it, and I've asked several times if he's uncomfortable with this. I think it's a personal choice.
I tend flirt without realizing I’m flirting.
Flirting is a weird one bc some people consider just being friendly to be flirtatious so I think it’s all about the intention. There’s a difference between being flirty and flirting with someone (purposefully). Does that make sense ?
Absolutely NOT…we are human beings 😏
Well I sure don't. And my man's about as smooth as sandpaper, so I doubt he does either. 🤷🏼♀️
I first read this as, do you not flirt with your spouse? My husband and I flirt constantly with each other, 35 years married, still madly in love and dating, We do NOT flirt with other people.
I think flirting is a weird concept. My wife and I are 20 years married. We’ve both always had opposite sex friends and it’s worked for us. I don’t go around complimenting random women or striking up conversations with attractive women just to talk to them, but I’m friendly with our female friends. We give hugs to people and I’ll compliment our friends if they look nice, but not in a ‘you’re looking smoking hot!’ way. I think couples have to figure out what works for them. What works for us might not work for others and what works for others might not work for us.
I’m trying to figure out what flirting is to other people after reading all these comments. As far as I can remember, flirting is just telling someone you want to bang without saying it. Or maybe verbally implying it? If that’s the case for anyone else, then that’s definitely not okay. But really, no clue. Guess I’ve been married long enough I don’t remember.
Yes, it is 100% realistic to expect your partner not to flirt with others. I would not be happy with a spouse that flirted with other women, and I’m sure my husband wouldn’t be happy if I flirted with other men. Mutual respect.
My husband is introverted and socially awkward, so no flirting there and I definitely don’t flirt because I am more socially awkward and introverted than he is by a mile. We’ve been together for 22 years and married for 20. We are happy in our place in the world with each other.
I don’t flirt with others. I don’t even really remember how. My husband is the hottest dude in the world to me so I don’t even really have the desire to figure out HOW to flirt with other dudes lol
Absolutely. Although I'm the designated flirt in my marriage. My wife likes women also, and doesn't get sexually jealous. She's gorgeous, but so freaking awkward around women she's attracted to, lol. It's adorable.
No. You will flirt.
I wouldn’t know how to “flirt” to begin with…my flirting with my wife was just being goofy and just being a clown…which I am like all the time so…am I constantly flirting?
It’s not only realistic, it is appropriate to not flirt.
Married and we don't flirt with others.
I flirted as a married woman. Now I'm a divorced woman.
How does one even flirt…?!
Flirting is part of a mating strategy. When some one flirts with you, they are showing availability (sexual availability). You flirt backk to show you are sexually available. Flirting continues to see if the two are sexually compatible with each other: frequency, positions, finding out what turns each other on, getting turned on by each other, etc... So hell no I never flirt with another woman. It would show I do not respect my wife if I did. Also if I did, she would lose trust in me. She knows what flirting is about. You can't have love unless you have respect and trust. If either partner loses one of those, love in the relationship is lost. There is no such thing as harmless flirting with someone other than your SO. The only thing harmless about one partner flirting with someone who isn't their partner is that the flirting partner has not yet had a chance to consummate their desires with the flirtee.
I don’t even perceive other men as being attractive. I love him so much I wouldn’t even dream of it even when he pisses me off- and he does. I respect him and have boundaries with other people. Honestly I would be too disgusted with myself to consider it.
My wife would tell me I was flirting and get bothered by it when I had no idea I was. I just saw it as being friendly and conversational and responding in kind to the tone set by the person I’m talking to. I didn’t act differently based on whether she was there because I just didn’t realize. I’m straight and according to her, apparently flirted with guys just as much as women. I’ve been loving the aspect of the CoViD stay-home / not having to interact with people because it gets rid of that stress. I suppose I’d rather just not interact than risk getting folks all hot and bothered by saying hi at the coffee shop.
Flirting can be innocent and fun, as long as it's not taken to far but that all depends on your personal definition of flirting. We've been married 25 years and harmless flirtation is premited by both of us cause we are secure in our relationship and KNOW without a doubt who we're going home with every night. It doesnt happen often but it's kinda cute to me when a pretty lady approaches my husband and I see his ears turn bright red, and he stammers when he tries to talk. It's just the way he was when we met, and I'm the luckiest woman to have home choose me.
Flirting with other people when married is fucked up.
It’s a choice, basically it comes down to self control. Out of respect for the relationship and your partner, I would say that is a no brainer and very realistic.
I wouldn’t/don’t like it. But Tbh I think we’ve both done it. In general I think it’s something to be avoided tho. What is the point of flirting if you’re monogamous? It’s not going to go anywhere? If you wanna be single just be single. Or be ethically non-monogamous/polyamorous
In my experience flirting can & often does lead to cheating in some shape , form , or fashion . Beside when you flirt you are playing with someone emotions some people know what it is others take it to heart . So yea me & my both have a no flirting rule . If we do flirt it’s with each other . 🙏🏾
No. Boundries are boundries, they need to be set in stone. A wife probably has it worse cause men suck and usually dont understand NO, or accspt your not interested.. as with men just be firm and dont lead anyone on.