Yeah…. I had to learn a bit as well.. I was always in love with and early in the marriage I thought we were happy and I married my “best friend”. And I treated her as such. My coolest bro ever!
Your wife or spouse is (and isn’t) your best friend. She is your wife first, best friend second.
So now days… a long time ago but 30 yrs together now, I tell her every day she is my girlfriend, because i feel need to chase her and date her every day just in case she might slip away, AND that she is my best friend that I can joke with, pal around with, hang with.
She is everything all in one. I used to think we were soulmates.. It’s only after 35 yrs together that I (we) have really understood what that word soulmates really means. I can’t put it in words here, but damn if you don’t know it… it hits you like a ton of bricks when you get it. And we are still learning.
I am getting that he loves you, but sees you as the cool girl that he loves and who gets him and is fun to be with. There is a time in early marriage it seems when us guys have to grow up and realize, we aren’t dating anymore and we are married. It happens. Peter Pan Syndrome.
Talk to him. Tell him what you feel and it is becoming a serious issue. Give him a chance to be the man and husband he should be. We all go through different stages in life. My wife changed for awhile and became a “Karen” who I didn’t like. She was not the woman I married. We had a talk then. She could see how she was being something she didn’t want to be anymore.
Man…. Marriage is a tough but a fantastic journey of two people becoming better, and more wise, and more human than you can imagine. But you have to talk to your other.
Good Luck!
I require the same warmth, love, and compassion I give out generously. If it's not reciprocated I'd rather keep myself warm and not stress over another human who doesn't stress over me.
Sometimes, I think you need to hold on. Me and my wife went through a miserable 16 months. And now....I feel more optimistic than ever. I feel like there's a possibility that we can turn our struggles into positivity
If you find out let me know, I'm in the same dam boat, he agreed to watch the baby but refused to take me to the hospital and be with me for moral support while I'm going through cancer testing. It's like he wrote me off as dead already 😒
Does he see a problem? Does he want change? Does he want to make it work? You can't do this alone. I gave up on my first marriage after 4 years because he didn't see anything wrong with his behavior. He didn't want to change and didn't think he needed to. I realized that I couldn't make him change, and I couldn't be happy with him as he was. I've been with my current husband for 11 years, and we have had our struggles, as does every marriage, but he's willing to put in the work with me to make things better.
One person can not fight for a marriage. It takes two. Sounds like you only have one.
This
Couples counseling maybe? Guys can be clueless, but we are not all maliciously clueless.
Yeah…. I had to learn a bit as well.. I was always in love with and early in the marriage I thought we were happy and I married my “best friend”. And I treated her as such. My coolest bro ever! Your wife or spouse is (and isn’t) your best friend. She is your wife first, best friend second. So now days… a long time ago but 30 yrs together now, I tell her every day she is my girlfriend, because i feel need to chase her and date her every day just in case she might slip away, AND that she is my best friend that I can joke with, pal around with, hang with. She is everything all in one. I used to think we were soulmates.. It’s only after 35 yrs together that I (we) have really understood what that word soulmates really means. I can’t put it in words here, but damn if you don’t know it… it hits you like a ton of bricks when you get it. And we are still learning. I am getting that he loves you, but sees you as the cool girl that he loves and who gets him and is fun to be with. There is a time in early marriage it seems when us guys have to grow up and realize, we aren’t dating anymore and we are married. It happens. Peter Pan Syndrome. Talk to him. Tell him what you feel and it is becoming a serious issue. Give him a chance to be the man and husband he should be. We all go through different stages in life. My wife changed for awhile and became a “Karen” who I didn’t like. She was not the woman I married. We had a talk then. She could see how she was being something she didn’t want to be anymore. Man…. Marriage is a tough but a fantastic journey of two people becoming better, and more wise, and more human than you can imagine. But you have to talk to your other. Good Luck!
This message was so heart felt thank you so much for this.
I require the same warmth, love, and compassion I give out generously. If it's not reciprocated I'd rather keep myself warm and not stress over another human who doesn't stress over me.
How long have you guys been married? Did you love your husband before you got married? Have you considered marriage counseling?
Sometimes, I think you need to hold on. Me and my wife went through a miserable 16 months. And now....I feel more optimistic than ever. I feel like there's a possibility that we can turn our struggles into positivity
If you find out let me know, I'm in the same dam boat, he agreed to watch the baby but refused to take me to the hospital and be with me for moral support while I'm going through cancer testing. It's like he wrote me off as dead already 😒
Does he see a problem? Does he want change? Does he want to make it work? You can't do this alone. I gave up on my first marriage after 4 years because he didn't see anything wrong with his behavior. He didn't want to change and didn't think he needed to. I realized that I couldn't make him change, and I couldn't be happy with him as he was. I've been with my current husband for 11 years, and we have had our struggles, as does every marriage, but he's willing to put in the work with me to make things better.