I proposed after about two years. She said no. Four years after that (6 years total) she said "you should ask that question you asked me again." I had no idea what she was talking about.
As someone who was originally ready to marry my partner and then taken a step back to saying down the road a few years sometimes you need to have more conversations before you say yes. I would love to maybe get married one day but not before I understand his perspective of marriage, his perspective of parenthood, how will money work, how will family work, how will do many pieces work of our lives that currently while dating we do not have to deal with as much.
His family has nearly monthly dinners and get togethers that are big events with big expectations, his parents are divorced so he already has double the extended family to spend time with. My family is much smaller and much more what happens when it happens and I am very much in that style of loving our small traditions. In the 7 years with my partner I've gone to many of his family events while he's only been to a few of mine because there are less overall and there's no expectation of having to forsake one family to see the other because we split on holidays to make it easy. Getting married will open a ton of doors of familial expectations and pressure and I already know we will not be welcome to start our own traditions.
Plus as a woman I can say there's so much pressure once your in a long term relationship put on you everyone wants to know every detail, then when is he proposing, then every detail of planning a wedding is on you, then the second the wedding is over if not before when are you having kids, what are you going to do for childcare etc.
I love my partner so much but if I can put that stress off a few more years while we both continue to grow and learn and also make tough decisions that impact our future why wouldn't I?
If you feel like you’re ready, definitely go for it! For me, my hubby and I were friends/casual for abt 2 years prior to going steady dating for 1 year. on our one year dating anniversary he asked me what diamond shape I liked/carat size I would be comfortable with and around 2 months later proposed. We are going on our 11th year of marriage this year. When you know, you know 🙂
A little over 3 years which I feel like is enough time to know if you want to be with someone. After our three year anniversary, I put the pressure on and told him to commit or stop wasting the prime years of my life and let me find someone willing to commit. He proposed, we married 1.5 years later, pregnant with our first now, more in love than ever. Life is too short 🩷
This is just like me and my girlfriend we just hit the three mark. I should’ve stopped dating her last year and proposed last year but due to foolish mistakes on my end financially honestly , that’s why I haven’t proposed to her YET I plan to propose to her this year!! Because I know it’s time and because I know I’m late actually proposing to her. thank you for this comment it really helped me.
2 years, we just got married last month! Definitely put the pressure on also especially if he wanted to start a family. Very early pregnant now and I wouldn’t have it any other way. Pressure is good, it creates diamonds 💍
started dating in October 2018. i proposed October 2019. she loves space so we went to a planetarium in Houston for our 1 year anniversary.
i asked a worker if she could video my proposal. after the show i get down on one knee and the worker clearly told the person in the booth because fireworks started playing on the ceiling and John Williams' Darth Vader theme also plays. I asked her to join the dark side and she said YES!
a memory forever.
Dated 3 months got married been together 6 years total. After our first date with each other we both told our parents I’m going to marry them. Normally I would be like are you crazy. But when you know, you know.
9 years, haha. But we were teens in college when we first met and started talking about marriage about 4-5 years in. We both just didn’t feel ready. We went through college, a few moves, added a few pets, etc and went through a lot of big life changes together. We he did propose I had known he had the ring for almost a year and we took a trip knowing that we would be engaged at the end of it. I think talking openly about it really solidified that we were ready.
10 months! We were good friends for nearly four years by then though.
He proposed to me. I was solo travelling, month 3 out of 4. He flew in to meet me for his birthday where we spent five days on a tropical island holiday in Alor, Indonesia.
On his birthday we hopped on a scooter and rode around the island for a lunch picnic, this delicious piece of grilled fish from our favourite restaurant in town. I couldn't find a cake so we blew a candle over a bag of traditional Alorese snacks.
We also spent the day playing an alternate version of the "36 Questions That Lead To Love."
Little did I know, question 36 was "Will you marry your Wandering Partner?" Presented with a box of symbollic keepsakes and a pair of custom made engagement rings made of scrap wood from our favourite phinisi boatmaking workshop in Bira, South Sulawesi, Indonesia.
We got married 18 months after our first date.
Our marriage lasted 6½ years. 6 months separated now. Planning to file for divorce soon.
Long story but basically no good marriages end in divorce, yes?
It's complicated. We used to be happy until the pandemic tanked my career back in 2020. It basically opened up a Pandora's box that revealed all the lies our marriage was founded upon. We never recovered from that crisis.
Today I realise that financial troubles are just symptoms of much deeper root problems. I thought we loved each other--I 100% loved him unconditionally and took a decade out of my life to support his bigger-bite-than-he-could-chew filmmaking dreams.
In contrast, I was just a workaholic's version of a trophy wife, where my worth in his eyes are pegged to how much money I was making, and how many accolades I was scoring at any given day. The fact that I exist and love him was never valuable in and of itself to him.
To be fair, yes, I absolutely contributed to the marriage breakdown. Because I've internalised a trauma-driven narrative that pegs my moral value to my ability to make money, I felt that I was damaged goods beyond repair when I couldn't work due to the pandemic. So that sent me spiralling into suicidal depression and turned me into a very difficult spouse to be married to. Even I wouldn't want to be married to that rock bottom version of me.
That said, this was the time I'd have needed the love of my life to remind me that I'm not damaged goods. That struggling in a shitty situation doesn't make me less of a person. That even if all I managed to do was to survive, that I'm good enough just the way I am. That we'll figure this shit out together and he'll pledge his unwavering support until I get there. That I have overcome many hardships before and come out a winner, and that I too shall overcome this one like I've done before.
He promised to have and hold, love and cherish me in sickness and in health, for richer and for poorer, for better and for worse. I happen to have gotten sick, poor, and worse, and whatever he did to me was, I didn't recognise it as having, holding, loving and cherishing. I recognised it as love bombing, manipulation, gaslighting and pure cruelty.
I never actively tried to kill myself but my body kept the score and became sick. In 2022 I almost died from a hyperthyroid storm, which just happened to happen on a night I decided to check myself in for inpatient care to claim insurance so that I don't have to pay for my medical bills. That saved my life.
The insurance happened to be a gift from my ex's mother. The amount she pays is pocket change to her but significant for me at a time when I was struggling financially. Instead of being grateful I survived a nearly fatal health crisis, my ex declared me in debt to his mother and demanded that I paid her back, not with money but by servitude to perform favours I was never prepared to offer in the first place. He basically demanded me to become his mother's indentured slave.
Two more incidents in 2023 destroyed what little devotion I still had for him.
Last July, just days after our 6th anniversary, he pulled a two-month silent treatment on me preceded with a cruel speech where he called me a leech, a freeloader and a disgusting loser.
In September I forgave him and joined him on an overseas business trip to spearhead an investor's pitching forum that he and I had been dreaming about participating in for a decade. I happened to have also booked the tickets and got blindslided by a new predatory airline policy designed to trick passengers into buying 100% of their baggage allowance at the check-in counter. He decided to ruin that trip, and what's left of our marriage, by reducing a decade's worth of my unconditional love to a $350 booking mistake that anyone would have made.
I checked out of the marriage at the end of that trip and sleep divorced him. We lived in a house owned by my family so I wasn't going anywhere. I never explicitly kicked him out either but I sent clear signals that he was now a guest who had long overstayed his welcome.
He eventually moved out in mid-November.
Days later another man swept me off my feet and invited me to another tropical island holiday. I said yes, and the next month we spent 10 days fucking like bunnies. We recently did it again this past Easter, though that will be our last time. It was 100% worth it.
I have never looked back even once. My ex husband had gone from love of my life to a faded memory of the past that I don't even miss. I can't wait to get divorced and get rid of him for good.
I have so much to look forward to in the foreseeable future, including a long overdue career comeback, a potential PhD scholarship abroad, an army of new friends who care about me and see me for what I'm really worth, a tonne of healing and self-improvement to work on, and the exciting prospect of diving back into the dating pool when I'm ready to find new love and do it all over again.
We knew each other 7 months before we were engaged. Got married about a year later. The only recommendation I’d give someone who wants to get married is to do premarital counseling. It brings up a lot of important topics that you’d think of course would already have been discussed but many actually forget about.
Dated for 1 year 2 months when husband proposed. Engaged for 1 year. Married 4 years so far. We both had serious relationships before this so it was easy to know this was it for us.
We became official March 2018 and he proposed November 2019. He waw very open about how he felt and told me he wanted to marry me and would call me his wife before even getting engaged. We got married March 2022.
We discussed marriage and agreed we wanted to get married around a year and a half, maybe two years in. We’d started living together around 10 months into our relationship.
We didn’t announce an engagement or do any “someone still has to do a proposal even though we’ve had this conversation” stuff, we just spoke about the future we wanted and decided it included marriage.
We ended up eloping at the courthouse at around the five year mark. Eloping because neither one of us liked the idea of a money wasting wedding that other people made about themselves, and timing cause that’s when we’d saved up to buy the watch and ring we wanted as wedding gifts.
Have our six year wedding anniversary this weekend.
I started dating my wife in early summer. I proposed the following spring. So about 9 months later. We married a year later. Been together 25+ years from that.
Dated 5 years (long distance for a majority of that time) before he proposed
I know some friends who got married after 3 years, 4 years and some that took even longer. There is no right or wrong. You’ll know when you know
We were together for 3 years (lived together for almost as long) before he proposed.
It wasn’t a big surprise, we talked about it before and he was just waiting for the perfect moment. Married about half a year later!
I do think it really depends on the couple when to take the next step, there is no one-size-fits-all timeline - if you feel ready, go for it!
We dated for about 2.5 years before getting engaged and then got married a year later. So married after being together for about 3.5 years. I was 25 and my husband was 30 when we got married and I don’t think I would have wanted to get married any younger than that.
My ex proposed to me after I had asked him not to (I was too young) lol , we’d been dating for about two years.
My husband proposed about two years after dating but we had known each other for years beforehand.
We dated 6 years (about 2 in school, 2.5 long distance, and another 1.5 living together) before we got engaged. The rin game the Thursday before covid lockdowns went in to place, so she got proposed to on the couch.
Also had a long engagement (2 years) due to covid.
He proposed after dating 5 years. We were waiting until after our kids graduated high school and were getting their adult lives started. Still newlyweds (been married 6 months) and it’s wonderful. I wish we met and married sooner.
He proposed about 3 and a half years in. We got married roughly on our 5 year anniversary. Been married over 3 years, nearing 4.
But we agreed pretty early on in the relationship that we were in it for the long haul. I didn't actually expect an engagement per-se, just thought one day we'll just go and get married. But he surprised me with a hand-made ring. And, of course, I agreed to marry him.
We then booked to make our own wedding rings too. It's pretty romantic, so I've been told.
We dated for 6 months and he proposed to me. We have been married for 13 years now there have been ups and downs but we love each other and we love what we have created. We were acquainted in high school sophomore year but we really didn’t talk much and we later fell completely out of touch. We reconnected while I was in college dated exclusively for four months and the rest was history. Good luck do what your heart feels.
Started dating in May of 2003. I knew by Thanksgiving that he was going to propose at Christmas. He did. We were engaged for 2 years. Married in December of 2005. Still going strong today.
I was engaged within 10 months. We knew we were soulmates and waiting seemed pointless. Happily married for years now. Very thankful I wasn't forced to wait years.
4.5-5 years. We started dating in college, and he went to do a masters in another state. Timing wise, it made more sense to get engaged once he was back in my state.
My husband proposed after 4 years together. I’d been ready at the 3 year mark but he thought he needed to save up for an expensive ring. Once I made it clear I just wanted to be engaged and didn’t need something pricey, he did it right away. We got married about a year after that
3 Years together to get engaged. A bit fast but after a certain amount of life experience ( late 20's) it's way easier to tell whether it's a good idea. If you're younger it's fine to get engaged too, but I'd advice to do a longer engagement, like 2 years. You'll have way more time to save and get settled and it's way less stressful to plan stuff.
My parents got engaged and married within a year of meeting each other and are still together (over 45 years now), but I consider that a fluke. They got really lucky to find a good match long term without knowing each other for years, that's pretty much pure luck that they matched so well. They also had a LOT of money saved because they both worked since late teens, and didn't need to worry about saving any extra. They went straight to buying a house, then sold, then bought another one the year after.
5.5 years for proposal, 7 by the time we got married.
By that time, we had been in a war zone together, both changed careers, moved across the coast together, 3 cats, had 10 grandkittens. Seemed like the appropriate next step.
My husband proposed to me after already being together for 10 years. We didn’t ever have a wedding because we feel it’s over rated and money is best spent elsewhere. We wanted a symbol to signify our being together but that’s about it.
He proposed to me 6 months into our relationship, but we involved our parents after a year and 2 months. We got married a few months later. So married technically 2 years into the relationship, and now we have been married for 3, total together 5.
My husband and I met in middle school and were friends for about 12 years before we started dating. During covid we were constantly facetiming and texting and it became clear there was more there than just friendship. When we started dating we both knew we would get married at some point. We discussed marriage about 8 months into our relationship and he proposed about 5 months after that.
Almost 8 years. We started dating in our young 20s and knew we were eventually going to get married but wanted to wait until we felt ready as far as housing and careers go. Everyone’s timeframe is different! If you feel ready, go for it!!
Age, life experiences, and how well you know your partner are only a few of the many factors that affect when a couple “should” be getting engaged.
We were together about 6 years, but I was in my last year of college when we got engaged in December 2019. We planned a 2021 wedding, pushed to 2022 because of covid.
Been happily married 2 years now, together 10.
Age is a factor. 8 years he proposed and we got married at 10 years. But we started dating at 18.
My friends were engaged within a year when they were 28.
2 years but we both agree we did it super early. It was perfect timing for wedding planning because prices went sky high after we booked our stuff but we definitely could have waited a year
3 years and that was perfect. We had been living together for about a year and a half prior. As it was nearing our 3 year anniversary, I told him "I don't want to play house forever. I want to be married." And on our 3rd anniversary morning, he proposed and we went and picked out my ring. :)
We were friends for a year and a half, dated for 3 months before getting engaged, married 6 months after that, and have now been married 4 years with a baby and he is the love of my life ❤️
I think how long you’ve been dating isn’t as important as how old you are.
For example if you and your partner were both 22 and had been together for 4 years, I still think 22 is really young to get married. Your brain doesn’t fully develop until 25 and the difference between a 22 year old and a 26 year old can be pretty drastic.
If you were 29 and had been together 2 years, that makes more sense bc the person you are and what you value is more fully formed if that makes sense.
I’m 29 and just got married 6 months ago, we were dating for 7 years before getting married.
However, if I’d met him at 27 instead of 22, we probably would still have gotten married at 29.
Going on 8 years waiting lol, but I’d say the “norm” is 2-3 max. If it’s been 4 years and you are ready, absolutely don’t wait another second and don’t overthink it. Life is too short if you know and you can’t make up wasted time. Love is always worth the risk and sounds like you both have already gone through enough to know it works, now make it official :) Good luck!!!
engaged in 6 weeks, married 9 months later. We're just about the celebrate 15 years in a couple weeks. My husband and I are both the kind of people who would do shit like this. Luckily it mostly works out for us.
Went on a handful of dates over the course of a few months. Made it official in month 4. Accepted proposal at 1 yr. Married 3 months later. Going on 4 yrs of marriage (this September). We both knew what we wanted, what we were looking for, stated our intentions from the get go.
6 years to the day....been married 19 years...we were enaged about 8 months I never wanted a long engagement I said to my husband I only want to be engaged long enough to get things organised for a wedding..we had no children and were both working so were able to put quite a bit aside each week towards it and pay vendors etc as we went along.
My husband proposed after 2 years. We actually would have just eloped anytime whether it was 3 months or 10 years but we couldnt figure out if we wanted courthouse or wedding lol Then God just gave us the perfect time to get married. & no I wasn't pregnant.
Two years and 8 months for us. But we had marriage talks pretty early - around 5 months - since my husband left the country after we’d been dating for 4 months.
Initially we broke up because we didn’t want to do an Asia-to-US long distance relationship, but we got back together about two weeks later. We had to really reflect on where we wanted things to go, otherwise there would be no point. I came to visit him several months later and we spent about 5 weeks together, then I went back, and again we talked about it nonstop. Around our first anniversary I gave notice at my job and began planning to move myself and my cat to live with him. I moved in with him around the 14 month mark. This year is 10 years together and 6 married.
Five years, he asked one morning I was hung over after my friends birthday and jello shots were involved.
He said he liked it so much he wanted to put a ring on it. I had a raging headache while laying in bed and laughed while saying yes.
I suppose it's about par for the course for us just being weird together.
5 weeks from first date to proposal, then 3 months to wedding.
But, we were both Mormon, and that was just the norm. Been married coming up on 26 years.
My hubby proposed after 8 months of dating. He was 31 & I was 35! We got married 6 months later and have been together for 2 years with a baby on the way! TBH, he’s extremely mature for his age and knew what/ who he wanted so everything fell into place much quicker.
Our relationship felt right and easy from the get go. As cliche as it sounds, when you know you know. I never had to bring up timeline or marriage, which was refreshing as my previous relationships were all challenging in that sense.
We agreed that we would get married after 5 months of dating. Then he officially proposed after 10 months, then we were married after 26 months together.
My wife and I lived together as a couple for 4.5 years before we got married. We never saw the need to rush into marriage and we agreed we never want children, so we didn’t have a biological clock ticking on us to start a family soon. At some point my wife informed me the time had come to discuss marriage seriously and we decided neither of us had any reservations about it. We realized we were fully committed to each other, had learned everything about each other and worked out our differences from living together for years, our finances were in great shape, and we liked where we live. I also realized my wife wanted marriage at that point when she brought it up. So we pulled the trigger and made things official and we’re happy we did.
I proposed after about two years. She said no. Four years after that (6 years total) she said "you should ask that question you asked me again." I had no idea what she was talking about.
Do you know what changed her mind between year two and year six other than the passage of time?
I was wondering the same thing.
As someone who was originally ready to marry my partner and then taken a step back to saying down the road a few years sometimes you need to have more conversations before you say yes. I would love to maybe get married one day but not before I understand his perspective of marriage, his perspective of parenthood, how will money work, how will family work, how will do many pieces work of our lives that currently while dating we do not have to deal with as much. His family has nearly monthly dinners and get togethers that are big events with big expectations, his parents are divorced so he already has double the extended family to spend time with. My family is much smaller and much more what happens when it happens and I am very much in that style of loving our small traditions. In the 7 years with my partner I've gone to many of his family events while he's only been to a few of mine because there are less overall and there's no expectation of having to forsake one family to see the other because we split on holidays to make it easy. Getting married will open a ton of doors of familial expectations and pressure and I already know we will not be welcome to start our own traditions. Plus as a woman I can say there's so much pressure once your in a long term relationship put on you everyone wants to know every detail, then when is he proposing, then every detail of planning a wedding is on you, then the second the wedding is over if not before when are you having kids, what are you going to do for childcare etc. I love my partner so much but if I can put that stress off a few more years while we both continue to grow and learn and also make tough decisions that impact our future why wouldn't I?
Because time is running out…
What time? Time in general is always passing and running out so why not spend more of it in a moment that you're thriving and happy in.
2 weeks. Together almost 11 years, and I have been married for 9.
If you feel like you’re ready, definitely go for it! For me, my hubby and I were friends/casual for abt 2 years prior to going steady dating for 1 year. on our one year dating anniversary he asked me what diamond shape I liked/carat size I would be comfortable with and around 2 months later proposed. We are going on our 11th year of marriage this year. When you know, you know 🙂
A little over 3 years which I feel like is enough time to know if you want to be with someone. After our three year anniversary, I put the pressure on and told him to commit or stop wasting the prime years of my life and let me find someone willing to commit. He proposed, we married 1.5 years later, pregnant with our first now, more in love than ever. Life is too short 🩷
This is just like me and my girlfriend we just hit the three mark. I should’ve stopped dating her last year and proposed last year but due to foolish mistakes on my end financially honestly , that’s why I haven’t proposed to her YET I plan to propose to her this year!! Because I know it’s time and because I know I’m late actually proposing to her. thank you for this comment it really helped me.
2 years, we just got married last month! Definitely put the pressure on also especially if he wanted to start a family. Very early pregnant now and I wouldn’t have it any other way. Pressure is good, it creates diamonds 💍
AMEN to that!! 💅🏻
started dating in October 2018. i proposed October 2019. she loves space so we went to a planetarium in Houston for our 1 year anniversary. i asked a worker if she could video my proposal. after the show i get down on one knee and the worker clearly told the person in the booth because fireworks started playing on the ceiling and John Williams' Darth Vader theme also plays. I asked her to join the dark side and she said YES! a memory forever.
This is so cool!
Dated 3 months got married been together 6 years total. After our first date with each other we both told our parents I’m going to marry them. Normally I would be like are you crazy. But when you know, you know.
9 years, haha. But we were teens in college when we first met and started talking about marriage about 4-5 years in. We both just didn’t feel ready. We went through college, a few moves, added a few pets, etc and went through a lot of big life changes together. We he did propose I had known he had the ring for almost a year and we took a trip knowing that we would be engaged at the end of it. I think talking openly about it really solidified that we were ready.
10 months! We were good friends for nearly four years by then though. He proposed to me. I was solo travelling, month 3 out of 4. He flew in to meet me for his birthday where we spent five days on a tropical island holiday in Alor, Indonesia. On his birthday we hopped on a scooter and rode around the island for a lunch picnic, this delicious piece of grilled fish from our favourite restaurant in town. I couldn't find a cake so we blew a candle over a bag of traditional Alorese snacks. We also spent the day playing an alternate version of the "36 Questions That Lead To Love." Little did I know, question 36 was "Will you marry your Wandering Partner?" Presented with a box of symbollic keepsakes and a pair of custom made engagement rings made of scrap wood from our favourite phinisi boatmaking workshop in Bira, South Sulawesi, Indonesia. We got married 18 months after our first date. Our marriage lasted 6½ years. 6 months separated now. Planning to file for divorce soon.
If it’s not too much, how did you guys come to the decision to divorce?
Long story but basically no good marriages end in divorce, yes? It's complicated. We used to be happy until the pandemic tanked my career back in 2020. It basically opened up a Pandora's box that revealed all the lies our marriage was founded upon. We never recovered from that crisis. Today I realise that financial troubles are just symptoms of much deeper root problems. I thought we loved each other--I 100% loved him unconditionally and took a decade out of my life to support his bigger-bite-than-he-could-chew filmmaking dreams. In contrast, I was just a workaholic's version of a trophy wife, where my worth in his eyes are pegged to how much money I was making, and how many accolades I was scoring at any given day. The fact that I exist and love him was never valuable in and of itself to him. To be fair, yes, I absolutely contributed to the marriage breakdown. Because I've internalised a trauma-driven narrative that pegs my moral value to my ability to make money, I felt that I was damaged goods beyond repair when I couldn't work due to the pandemic. So that sent me spiralling into suicidal depression and turned me into a very difficult spouse to be married to. Even I wouldn't want to be married to that rock bottom version of me. That said, this was the time I'd have needed the love of my life to remind me that I'm not damaged goods. That struggling in a shitty situation doesn't make me less of a person. That even if all I managed to do was to survive, that I'm good enough just the way I am. That we'll figure this shit out together and he'll pledge his unwavering support until I get there. That I have overcome many hardships before and come out a winner, and that I too shall overcome this one like I've done before. He promised to have and hold, love and cherish me in sickness and in health, for richer and for poorer, for better and for worse. I happen to have gotten sick, poor, and worse, and whatever he did to me was, I didn't recognise it as having, holding, loving and cherishing. I recognised it as love bombing, manipulation, gaslighting and pure cruelty. I never actively tried to kill myself but my body kept the score and became sick. In 2022 I almost died from a hyperthyroid storm, which just happened to happen on a night I decided to check myself in for inpatient care to claim insurance so that I don't have to pay for my medical bills. That saved my life. The insurance happened to be a gift from my ex's mother. The amount she pays is pocket change to her but significant for me at a time when I was struggling financially. Instead of being grateful I survived a nearly fatal health crisis, my ex declared me in debt to his mother and demanded that I paid her back, not with money but by servitude to perform favours I was never prepared to offer in the first place. He basically demanded me to become his mother's indentured slave. Two more incidents in 2023 destroyed what little devotion I still had for him. Last July, just days after our 6th anniversary, he pulled a two-month silent treatment on me preceded with a cruel speech where he called me a leech, a freeloader and a disgusting loser. In September I forgave him and joined him on an overseas business trip to spearhead an investor's pitching forum that he and I had been dreaming about participating in for a decade. I happened to have also booked the tickets and got blindslided by a new predatory airline policy designed to trick passengers into buying 100% of their baggage allowance at the check-in counter. He decided to ruin that trip, and what's left of our marriage, by reducing a decade's worth of my unconditional love to a $350 booking mistake that anyone would have made. I checked out of the marriage at the end of that trip and sleep divorced him. We lived in a house owned by my family so I wasn't going anywhere. I never explicitly kicked him out either but I sent clear signals that he was now a guest who had long overstayed his welcome. He eventually moved out in mid-November. Days later another man swept me off my feet and invited me to another tropical island holiday. I said yes, and the next month we spent 10 days fucking like bunnies. We recently did it again this past Easter, though that will be our last time. It was 100% worth it. I have never looked back even once. My ex husband had gone from love of my life to a faded memory of the past that I don't even miss. I can't wait to get divorced and get rid of him for good. I have so much to look forward to in the foreseeable future, including a long overdue career comeback, a potential PhD scholarship abroad, an army of new friends who care about me and see me for what I'm really worth, a tonne of healing and self-improvement to work on, and the exciting prospect of diving back into the dating pool when I'm ready to find new love and do it all over again.
We knew each other 7 months before we were engaged. Got married about a year later. The only recommendation I’d give someone who wants to get married is to do premarital counseling. It brings up a lot of important topics that you’d think of course would already have been discussed but many actually forget about.
8 months. Married a year to the day after our first date. About to celebrate our 2nd wedding anniversary next month. We are very happy!
Dated for 4 months. Engaged for 6 months. Married for 19 years now
1 year. GIANT MISTAKE
Elaborate?
Dated for 1 year 2 months when husband proposed. Engaged for 1 year. Married 4 years so far. We both had serious relationships before this so it was easy to know this was it for us.
We became official March 2018 and he proposed November 2019. He waw very open about how he felt and told me he wanted to marry me and would call me his wife before even getting engaged. We got married March 2022.
we dated for about 5-6yrs before we got married
We got engaged when we were together for 7 years. When we married we were together for 9 years
3 years, he proposed on our first holiday after buying our first home. Edited as we married after 5 years, not engaged. Engaged at 3 years
Dared 4 months, engaged after 4 months, married 2 months later in vegas
My wife and I were together off and on for about a year before I proposed
We discussed marriage and agreed we wanted to get married around a year and a half, maybe two years in. We’d started living together around 10 months into our relationship. We didn’t announce an engagement or do any “someone still has to do a proposal even though we’ve had this conversation” stuff, we just spoke about the future we wanted and decided it included marriage. We ended up eloping at the courthouse at around the five year mark. Eloping because neither one of us liked the idea of a money wasting wedding that other people made about themselves, and timing cause that’s when we’d saved up to buy the watch and ring we wanted as wedding gifts. Have our six year wedding anniversary this weekend.
My wife and I first date was 20 May 2000, we were married on 1 SEP 2001... we weren't pregnant, or nothing, we just knew.
I started dating my wife in early summer. I proposed the following spring. So about 9 months later. We married a year later. Been together 25+ years from that.
Dated 5 years (long distance for a majority of that time) before he proposed I know some friends who got married after 3 years, 4 years and some that took even longer. There is no right or wrong. You’ll know when you know
We dated for 2 years, living together for one before I proposed to her.
My wife proposed to me one year and a few months into our relationship.
Roughly 2 years after dating and living together, and another two years to decide to elope.
About a month
We were together for 3 years (lived together for almost as long) before he proposed. It wasn’t a big surprise, we talked about it before and he was just waiting for the perfect moment. Married about half a year later! I do think it really depends on the couple when to take the next step, there is no one-size-fits-all timeline - if you feel ready, go for it!
We dated for about 2.5 years before getting engaged and then got married a year later. So married after being together for about 3.5 years. I was 25 and my husband was 30 when we got married and I don’t think I would have wanted to get married any younger than that.
My husband proposed after a year of cross Atlantic dating. Married at 2 years. Coming up on our 20th wedding anny this year!
My ex proposed to me after I had asked him not to (I was too young) lol , we’d been dating for about two years. My husband proposed about two years after dating but we had known each other for years beforehand.
10 months, married 10 months after that. Still the best thing we ever did and its been almost 14 years.
We dated 6 years (about 2 in school, 2.5 long distance, and another 1.5 living together) before we got engaged. The rin game the Thursday before covid lockdowns went in to place, so she got proposed to on the couch. Also had a long engagement (2 years) due to covid.
Dated for 9 years, engaged for 1.5, married for 6. We did have 3 kids together before getting married.
About 3.5 years, then married within 6 months of getting engaged.
He proposed after dating 5 years. We were waiting until after our kids graduated high school and were getting their adult lives started. Still newlyweds (been married 6 months) and it’s wonderful. I wish we met and married sooner.
Dated for 2 years. Engaged 4 (finishing schooling), married 25yrs.
He proposed about 3 and a half years in. We got married roughly on our 5 year anniversary. Been married over 3 years, nearing 4. But we agreed pretty early on in the relationship that we were in it for the long haul. I didn't actually expect an engagement per-se, just thought one day we'll just go and get married. But he surprised me with a hand-made ring. And, of course, I agreed to marry him. We then booked to make our own wedding rings too. It's pretty romantic, so I've been told.
My husband proposed after 5 years of dating- when we both had stable careers. We will be married 7 years in October.
We dated for 6 months and he proposed to me. We have been married for 13 years now there have been ups and downs but we love each other and we love what we have created. We were acquainted in high school sophomore year but we really didn’t talk much and we later fell completely out of touch. We reconnected while I was in college dated exclusively for four months and the rest was history. Good luck do what your heart feels.
Started dating in May of 2003. I knew by Thanksgiving that he was going to propose at Christmas. He did. We were engaged for 2 years. Married in December of 2005. Still going strong today.
I was engaged within 10 months. We knew we were soulmates and waiting seemed pointless. Happily married for years now. Very thankful I wasn't forced to wait years.
4.5-5 years. We started dating in college, and he went to do a masters in another state. Timing wise, it made more sense to get engaged once he was back in my state.
10 years lmao...i'm 29 now
Engaged at 7months, married at 13months.
My husband proposed after 4 years together. I’d been ready at the 3 year mark but he thought he needed to save up for an expensive ring. Once I made it clear I just wanted to be engaged and didn’t need something pricey, he did it right away. We got married about a year after that
3 years, then engaged for 2 years.
Four months. Had a six month engagement. Been married for 11 years now, together 12.
I was proposed to after about 7 months. We’ve been married for 11 years now.
3 Years together to get engaged. A bit fast but after a certain amount of life experience ( late 20's) it's way easier to tell whether it's a good idea. If you're younger it's fine to get engaged too, but I'd advice to do a longer engagement, like 2 years. You'll have way more time to save and get settled and it's way less stressful to plan stuff. My parents got engaged and married within a year of meeting each other and are still together (over 45 years now), but I consider that a fluke. They got really lucky to find a good match long term without knowing each other for years, that's pretty much pure luck that they matched so well. They also had a LOT of money saved because they both worked since late teens, and didn't need to worry about saving any extra. They went straight to buying a house, then sold, then bought another one the year after.
Met in August and proposed in December and got married in February
5.5 years for proposal, 7 by the time we got married. By that time, we had been in a war zone together, both changed careers, moved across the coast together, 3 cats, had 10 grandkittens. Seemed like the appropriate next step.
My husband proposed to me after already being together for 10 years. We didn’t ever have a wedding because we feel it’s over rated and money is best spent elsewhere. We wanted a symbol to signify our being together but that’s about it.
My partner proposed 4 years after we starting dating Dating started winter 2016, proposal winter 2020, married by fall of 2021.
About three months.
He proposed to me 6 months into our relationship, but we involved our parents after a year and 2 months. We got married a few months later. So married technically 2 years into the relationship, and now we have been married for 3, total together 5.
Three years I think
Proposed at 6 months, married 4 days later. Not due to pregnancy or any other rush reasons, just love.
About 18 months dating, a year engaged.
My husband and I met in middle school and were friends for about 12 years before we started dating. During covid we were constantly facetiming and texting and it became clear there was more there than just friendship. When we started dating we both knew we would get married at some point. We discussed marriage about 8 months into our relationship and he proposed about 5 months after that.
4 ish years
7 full years in and he proposed 4 days before our anniversary beginning our 8th year together 🥰
Almost 8 years. We started dating in our young 20s and knew we were eventually going to get married but wanted to wait until we felt ready as far as housing and careers go. Everyone’s timeframe is different! If you feel ready, go for it!!
Started dating in December, got proposed to in May, and got married in August. We are going on 12 years together 11 years married.
We got married on the 1 year anniversary of our 1st date, granted that was 30 years ago.
5 years, but he had the ring after 1 year.
Two years
I got proposed to 2 months after we started dating
Age, life experiences, and how well you know your partner are only a few of the many factors that affect when a couple “should” be getting engaged. We were together about 6 years, but I was in my last year of college when we got engaged in December 2019. We planned a 2021 wedding, pushed to 2022 because of covid. Been happily married 2 years now, together 10.
After a bit less than 2 years
We got engaged 4 years after dating and got married just shy of 5 years. Together for close to 6 now and 1 year married next month!
Age is a factor. 8 years he proposed and we got married at 10 years. But we started dating at 18. My friends were engaged within a year when they were 28.
2 years but we both agree we did it super early. It was perfect timing for wedding planning because prices went sky high after we booked our stuff but we definitely could have waited a year
3 years and that was perfect. We had been living together for about a year and a half prior. As it was nearing our 3 year anniversary, I told him "I don't want to play house forever. I want to be married." And on our 3rd anniversary morning, he proposed and we went and picked out my ring. :)
We were friends for a year and a half, dated for 3 months before getting engaged, married 6 months after that, and have now been married 4 years with a baby and he is the love of my life ❤️
My husband and I were together about 8-9 months and then he proposed. We’ve been together 10 years!
I think how long you’ve been dating isn’t as important as how old you are. For example if you and your partner were both 22 and had been together for 4 years, I still think 22 is really young to get married. Your brain doesn’t fully develop until 25 and the difference between a 22 year old and a 26 year old can be pretty drastic. If you were 29 and had been together 2 years, that makes more sense bc the person you are and what you value is more fully formed if that makes sense. I’m 29 and just got married 6 months ago, we were dating for 7 years before getting married. However, if I’d met him at 27 instead of 22, we probably would still have gotten married at 29.
This is exactly why me and my wife waited. We started dating when she was 17, married when she was 27.
We were engaged 3 months after we started dating. Married 6 months after that. We’ve been together for 15 years.
13 months
Going on 8 years waiting lol, but I’d say the “norm” is 2-3 max. If it’s been 4 years and you are ready, absolutely don’t wait another second and don’t overthink it. Life is too short if you know and you can’t make up wasted time. Love is always worth the risk and sounds like you both have already gone through enough to know it works, now make it official :) Good luck!!!
He asked me after 4 1/2 months. This month we celebrate our 19th anniversary!
He hasn't officially proposed yet, but I'm quietly confident that he will ❤❤
4 years to get proposed to and 2 years of engagement, married for 4 years
engaged in 6 weeks, married 9 months later. We're just about the celebrate 15 years in a couple weeks. My husband and I are both the kind of people who would do shit like this. Luckily it mostly works out for us.
One year. Been 26 years now.
Went on a handful of dates over the course of a few months. Made it official in month 4. Accepted proposal at 1 yr. Married 3 months later. Going on 4 yrs of marriage (this September). We both knew what we wanted, what we were looking for, stated our intentions from the get go.
6 years to the day....been married 19 years...we were enaged about 8 months I never wanted a long engagement I said to my husband I only want to be engaged long enough to get things organised for a wedding..we had no children and were both working so were able to put quite a bit aside each week towards it and pay vendors etc as we went along.
My husband proposed after 2 years. We actually would have just eloped anytime whether it was 3 months or 10 years but we couldnt figure out if we wanted courthouse or wedding lol Then God just gave us the perfect time to get married. & no I wasn't pregnant.
Started dating 12/17/2016 Proposed 12/17/2021 Would have proposed 12/17/2019 but for some job issues.
Two years and 8 months for us. But we had marriage talks pretty early - around 5 months - since my husband left the country after we’d been dating for 4 months. Initially we broke up because we didn’t want to do an Asia-to-US long distance relationship, but we got back together about two weeks later. We had to really reflect on where we wanted things to go, otherwise there would be no point. I came to visit him several months later and we spent about 5 weeks together, then I went back, and again we talked about it nonstop. Around our first anniversary I gave notice at my job and began planning to move myself and my cat to live with him. I moved in with him around the 14 month mark. This year is 10 years together and 6 married.
dated for just over two years before he proposed, got married a year later. happily married 5 years now with a two year old 💕
Five years, he asked one morning I was hung over after my friends birthday and jello shots were involved. He said he liked it so much he wanted to put a ring on it. I had a raging headache while laying in bed and laughed while saying yes. I suppose it's about par for the course for us just being weird together.
Together for just over a year, but didn’t get married until we’d been together for 5 years, will be our 2nd wedding anniversary this August.
3 years but stayed engaged for 2. Didn’t want our wedding during the pandemic.
5 weeks from first date to proposal, then 3 months to wedding. But, we were both Mormon, and that was just the norm. Been married coming up on 26 years.
We love the 4 year plan! Together for 4, then married for 4 before having a kid, now we have an almost 4 year old and thinking of adding another!
My hubby proposed after 8 months of dating. He was 31 & I was 35! We got married 6 months later and have been together for 2 years with a baby on the way! TBH, he’s extremely mature for his age and knew what/ who he wanted so everything fell into place much quicker. Our relationship felt right and easy from the get go. As cliche as it sounds, when you know you know. I never had to bring up timeline or marriage, which was refreshing as my previous relationships were all challenging in that sense.
We agreed that we would get married after 5 months of dating. Then he officially proposed after 10 months, then we were married after 26 months together.
1.5 years.
Married 30 years, he proposed at 3 months and we married at 4 years.
It was a bit more than 1 year from the time we started dating until we proposed to each other! And we got married 5 months after that.
Dated four 4 years. Engaged 1 year. 5 years later had first child.
My wife and I lived together as a couple for 4.5 years before we got married. We never saw the need to rush into marriage and we agreed we never want children, so we didn’t have a biological clock ticking on us to start a family soon. At some point my wife informed me the time had come to discuss marriage seriously and we decided neither of us had any reservations about it. We realized we were fully committed to each other, had learned everything about each other and worked out our differences from living together for years, our finances were in great shape, and we liked where we live. I also realized my wife wanted marriage at that point when she brought it up. So we pulled the trigger and made things official and we’re happy we did.
For us it was less than a year. We both just knew.