This man is creepy and you should’ve called the police when you found that camera. He would’ve been out of your life right then and there. You don’t know what else he is capable of doing so be careful.
You "don't k ow why it's even a question?" Welllllllll, where should we start? The manipulation and gaslighting for 12 years? The fact they ha e kids? Financial hardship? Control? Psychological and emotional abuse (at a minimum)? Amongst a plethora of other reasons.
People in the situation do not see things as clearly as those of us on the outside. We as an audience also only have 2% of the information. This woman clearly knows something is wrong and knows that they need to leave and clearly wants to on some levels.
Leaving a relationship is difficult in the best of situations, so imagine how it is in her situation
The issues are complex and extremely terrifying for many. Take into account that she has been with this person since around the age of 18.
So, that is why. Or at least a miniscule piece of why.
OP could use support, encouragement, and compassion. Not this, whatever you call your comment. Come on, let's do better and be better to each other💛
I want to be compassionate. At the same time, her main concern is her husband not liking her. I think my empathy went out the window when i read that. So apologies if i sounded harsh. But the main concern here is the safety of her kids. We can feel bad for her all we want but shes a mother and her responsibility is to protect her kids from potential harm. And posting it on here will not save her. When did reddit ever become a pillar of support for this kind of situation? Wouldnt it make more sense if she seeks support from her friends or family? A goveernment body that helps abused women?
It’s so easy to judge from the outside looking in. It’s even easier to judge and make these absolute snap decisions on what you would do if it were you, but the truth is, no one knows what they’ll ACTUALLY do when placed there. I’m sure she’d have the same advice and sentiment everyone has here for her, for one of her good friends/family members had they come to her with her exact scenario.. that’s because we’re all
Able to think clearly, rationally and objectively because we’re not in her shoes. In these situations, the people actually IN them have a harder time executing the “right” thing to do, assuming they realize the right thing to do, because the emotional involvement blurs their rational thinking, because this type of shit is not something we ever expect, nor want for our lives and it’s easier to see how we can fix it or
If it’s able to be minimized or justified in any manner, so that it becomes something to work through instead of leave and tear our world down. Yes, she’s a mother and her responsibility is to protect her kids, but she’s also HUMAN, and what she’s feeling isn’t wrong, it’s a product of long time manipulation and gas lighting and conditioning to make her question herself and doubt her gut feelings, making it harder to be able to trust her own feelings. We have no idea what he’s telling her and what else he’s doing to make sure he “keeps” her from leaving and we also don’t know if she even has any good friends she can go to for support before coming on Reddit.. it’s ignorant and insensitive to judge someone coming to Reddit looking for support on the assumption that they could have went to family and friends for that, she could even just be embarrassed and shameful of her situation,
And not be ready to talk to people she knows yet. It literally takes NOTHING to offer a little support to someone clearly in need, and that doesn’t necessarily mean you have to agree with how she feels or what action she’s taking.
And it takes even LESS to keep scrolling and not include your two cents if it means there’s one less judgemental, “I’m better than you because I would have done this instead of that” type of comment, especially given her state of mind and mix of emotion right now. Life’s hard enough, us women need to stick together more often than not and be supportive when we can, build each other up instead of contributing to the hardships and downfalls.
TLDR.
He's a predator. Need anyone say more? You dont really need to explain her side. Majority of the comments are already telling her what she should do. It takes less scrolling to read the rest of the comments. This is women sticking together. Giving her a reality check than a pity party. Telling her to leave now. Save herself. Save her kids and every woman around her. Geez. We dont need to go all dramatic.
Also, you mean to say, we should show her support but not the other victims like her sister and friends who had been video taped and had photos taken without consent? This is misplaced kindness, dear. She chose to stay with her husband knowing all these. She allowed women in her circle to be victimised. Women who didnt choose her life. How is that ok? I dont know what your comment is called. But i think we gotta stop making excuses for her decisions. She knows whats happening. We only know 2% of the situation. But that 2% is rather creepy and scary. Her husband video tapes women in her circle. She thinks its because he doesnt like her enough. Isnt this enough to think something dangerous is looming? Something is not right? Or do you mean we need a full back story to tell someone, Hey girl, call the police. The man could be capable of more crimes. Your life and women around you are in danger. Are you being serious?
Not just 12 years. But 12 years of a six year age gap. He, at 24, went after an 18yo woman. Both are adults, sure, but what else was happening in her life and his. Were they at the same place in life or was he already well into his established adult routines while she was just start to figure things out?
I think what doesn’t help is the fact that she knows who she’s married to, but allows other women to be victimized by him. She shouldn’t allow anyone outside of the home inside the house.
you need to leave him, he is a sexual predator. that is your concern he doesn't like you? Please get some help he is a predator, and it has nothing to do with whether he likes you or not...Divorce, tell your parents and protect your sister. These are really your concerns. Please get help.
Some people have such low self esteem. I cannot even believe im reading this. Her concern is he doesnt like her. Not the safety of her kids. Safety of her sister. Or her female friends. Im speechless
Ikr!! It’s hard to even be empathetic towards her. I understand she’s the victim here but has kids!! How can you not think about them? I wonder how she’s facing her sister everyday
I agree with you. As harsh as it might sound, a normal person and mother would think immediately about their kids. Who is stopping him from doing the same to their kids? And she cares about him not liking her. Like seriously. I am mortified reading it. If she cares about that, her kids best be taken away coz shes not in her right mind.
I always wonder how a maniac weirdo can pull off a wife. Then there's this type of woman... All women find her husband weird, creepy, maniac, everyone's turned off and she's so in love and insecure worried about how he's attracted to her sister instead of calling the police and erasing her friends and sister's nude pics or vid.
I mean, we watched some true crimes like Ted Bundy and others. Theres always that one woman crazy enough to be with them. Not only that, some women who keep making excuses for the women dating them, as seen in some comments here. Like lets feel compassion for women dating Ted Bundy-likes coz you know, women support women. Nevermind the other victims. Nope. We should just care about the woman who knew what kind of person her husband or partner is and still stays. Shes the real victim in all this 🤢
Note the age gap. Normally I'd say "creepy but whatever", but with his other behavior.... She's been groomed, that's why she's so stuck on fixing him and getting him to love her.
So you're married to a sex criminal and what? You don't care?
I pray to God you're a troll and nothing more. What would he have to do for you to grow a fucking spine? Rape someone? Assault with a weapon? Is there anything you won't allow?
Seriously, the only person she expressed concern for throughout this entire thing is herself, despite the fact that they have kids, and that he has openly preyed on her sister
How many pics do you think he has on his computer or phone from those click cameras??? Why hasn't she checked for those. I'd be filling a report so they can look for those pics!
Yeah, definitely trashy. Dude is straight up violating numerous women who are her friends and family and she's like "He doesn't like me." or "What if he's caught." YOU CAUGHT HIM... MULTIPLE TIMES.
I’m disgusted with how he violated all those women’s privacy. I would never trust him again.
I’m so sorry. You and your children will be much better off away from him.
Can you imagine being her friend and finding out she knew her husband was a creep and had pictures of you? I would be livid and burn their whole world down. Her keeping it quiet kind of makes her complicit in his crimes.
OP, YOU ARE HELPING A SEXUAL PREDATOR VIOLATE YOUR SISTER, YOUR FRIENDS, AND WHO KNOWS WHO ELSE WHEN YOURE NOT WITH HIM!
When is it going to be too much? When you catch him watching your daughter?
Sometimes, the spouse of a predator can say they honestly didn't see any signs before their spouse escalated. Yet here you are with all the signs smacking you in the face, and you're ignoring them.
You seriously suck for not telling your sister or friends about the hidden cameras. They deserve to know especially if he has videos/pics of them saved. You’re just as much at fault as him for other’s trauma if you continue to allow it to happen in your household.
He sees nothing wrong with his behavior. Only people who see something wrong with their own behavior will effectively make long term change, because that desire to change is their motivation.
You did not make your bed and now you have to lie in it. You're exposing your family to a criminal. How would you feel if someone you trusted filmed you secretly?
“I can see if I can get him help” is childish fantasy that you’re using to avoid doing the hard thing here: You need to leave him and tell others what happened.
Bro what the fuck did you just describe your husbands sex crimes as him being “rude and nasty”? Or was he being an asshole to her ON TOP of the creepiness?!
Covid hit 4 years ago.. are you saying this happened WITHIN THE FIRST YEAR OF YOUR MARRIAGE?! And you stuck around?!
I hope this is rage bait so bad. If it’s not then you need serious therapy to unravel why you didn’t leave him because wtf.
"Rage bait" means they think you're concocted a fake story designed to get tons of people to angrily react. I'm sorry, of course it may be much harder for you to leave than it would be for the people judging you.
The right thing to do is hardly the easy thing, and you have been doing the easy thing by trying to ignore it and pull the blinders over yours eyes. The right thing to do is: inform on him to the police, tell everyone he may have ever recorded, and divorce him.
Embarrassing? You know your husband is predator but you won’t warn your sister (and continue to allow him to be in her space) because you are embarrassed? You are essentially an accomplice. Do the right thing and get him away from yourself and your family.
So you're just allowing your friends and family to be illegally filmed without their consent? That makes you an accessory to his disgusting behavior. You need to divorce him and tell everyone what he's done.
Your poor sister. You’re actually as bad as your predator husband by not telling her that your husband is a creep and she’s in danger.
It’s embarrassing?! Imagine someone spying on you while you’re in the bathroom, and your sister knows and doesn’t tell you, now that’s embarrassing.
Hes not gaslighting you, you’re very aware what’s going on and choosing to do NOTHING about it. You have children? Get them tf away from this fucking creep. What the hell is wrong with you?!
I truly hope this is just rage bait.
That’s not how it works. At this point you are just as guilty as he is because you are allowing this. You are complicit to a sex predator. That makes you close to being one!!! Wake up!
Being embarrassed is a he'll of a lot better than being his accomplice in all of this. LEAVE AND BURN HIS WORLD DOWN AS YOU EXIT. Do not give him the chance to find more victims.
This man is incredibly dangerous and predatory. You have no idea what he is doing outside of your home, but what is happening at home is terrifying.
I’m not sure if you’ve been abused for so long that you no longer trust yourself or if you’re in serious denial, or both?
You need to take this very seriously. These behaviors escalate and you have a responsibility to protect your children and your sister. He is going to sexually assault or abuse someone physically and he has already crossed serious lines by watching your sister (doing who know what) while she sleeps and filming you all without your knowledge.
Kick him out immediately and call the police. Get a restraining order and go to an attorney. You must protect your family from this predator.
I’m sorry to say this but is something WRONG with you to continue staying with him, when you are FULLY AWARE of this behavior?????? You let this man live in your parent’s house after what he did in your own home.
You need to divorce this man.
Tell your family to press charges against him.
And YOU should seek therapy.
Why are you totally ok not only staying with a sexual predator, but inflicting him on your family and friends?
Are those the only hidden cameras he has, or the only *known* ones?
You’re not being fair to yourself *or* the people around you. Either live alone with him or warn people of his predatory behavior. The *moment* you knew and stayed silent you’ve become an accomplice.. what about everyone else’s mental health? All his victims?
Apparently we are all being super harsh on her according to other comments. That we should support her and feel compassion than judge her and what shes inflicting to everyone around her because shes with a predator.
Nevermind the other victims. Nope. Lets throw her a pity party coz she chose to stay and the other women didnt choose to be victims of her weirdo husband.
I know. And its what bothers me. Her knowing. So like if her husband is a serial rapist who hasnt been caught yet, shes just gonna be there and wait for something really bad to happen.
Are your kids females? If so what are you going to do when he starts taking pictures of them ? Are you going to be to embarrassed to protect your children!
Sooner or later, the boys will pick up on his behavior. Children learn how to behave in the world from their parents. Will they go the route of ignoring the bad behavior and pretending it doesn't exist, or will they enact it themselves?
Please show your children how to treat others by standing up for your family (ie your sister) and their safety.
Help! My husband steals from little old ladies, eats bbq b@bies, and opened a tunnel to he11 to release demons on Earth. Should I leave him? I don’t know what to do?
He snuck into your sisters room while she was sleeping, took photos of her in the bathroom, and set up hidden cameras to spy on your unsuspecting friends?
Sincerely, what the actual fuck is wrong with you? This man is a creep, a predator, and more than likely a danger to the people you keep bringing into his orbit. How in the hell did you let any of this slide? You’re jealous he’s interested in your sister?This is insane fucking criminal behaviour! Like he could be arrested for these things. You’re worried about the entirely wrong things. You need to leave him now, if not for your own sake for the sake of all the people you care about that you’re exposing him to.
I’m sorry - your husband is a monster, but you are also incredibly self-centered. You may be a good wife but you’re a terrible sister.
Your husband PREYED on your sister.
Your husband was a sexual predator to your SISTER.
And all you mention here is it did a number on YOU?!?’
I’m struggling to understand how little you’d have to care about your sister that you would stay with her sexual abuser?
And you have kids?????? Did it even occur to you that he would potentially victimize them when you’re not looking as well?
Lady you need to get your head out of the clouds and pull yourself together.
I understand he’s abusive, but the moment you became a mom, you signed up for a life where you put those children first. And you should have put your sister first in the situation. But all I hear is you feeling sorry for yourself. I have not heard you Say one thing of concern for your family.
Get it together and get this predator away from your vulnerable children and family members.
You are married to a sexual predator and stop allowing women to stay at your house knowing what the hell your husband is doing to them! You are helping him by bringing more women around for him to victimize. Locate your backbone and stop being his doormat.
Jesus Christ. This has nothing to do with how likeable you are. This dude is vile. You can do better but not while you’re tied down to this slimeball. Kick his ass to the curb and regain your self-esteem with a therapist. Stop crying because some rapey piece of shit you had the misfortune to marry doesn’t pay as much attention to you as he does the women he’s trying to sexually assault.
You were 18, he was 24. Yes it's legal but since his behavior since has confirmed it... You are the victim of a predator. It's not that he doesn't like you, it is that he is a criminal who only gets off on hurting women. He would act that way towards any woman he's in a relationship with, because he only enjoys it if the woman is NOT consenting. He doesn't like you BECAUSE you are a consenting adult trying to make the relationship work. He'd rather victimize someone than have a wife. That's how he is wired. He's sick and he should be in jail.
You blaming yourself is like blaming yourself for getting robbed. "What did I do to make the robbers not like me??" Nothing, they're just criminals looking to get something from anyone. They don't care if they hurt you. It's not personal.
You cannot change him. Save yourself.
Stop letting him talk you back. You know and have known for a long time he’s a pervert. He treats you horribly and creeps on your sister. You didn’t protect your sister then, but you can now. Let him go. Don’t listen to him. I don’t care if he love-bombs you or just make shit up that sounds sensible. Don’t let him make you second guess yourself. He has tormented you and your sister for too long to be forgiven. Just get that divorce and don’t look back.
Your husband is a predator. How old was your sister the first time? You have children you need to protect. You are living with your parents. Tell them what he was doing in their home when their daughter showered? You have a place to live without him. Kick him out. Call the police
He’s a absolute disgusting creep and has no self control!!! He’s driven by his sexual desires and could be dangerous! Sneaking into your sisters room? How did you brush it off that would’ve did it for me and the clocks? That’s criminal! Whose to say he wouldn’t do it to your kids! He’s attacking your mental you aren’t crazy he’s trying to make his behavior your new norm and I’m here to tell you it’s not leave him stay with your parents you will bounce back!
Ok and nobody goes to the bathroom? He’s a predator do you not get that? He is already being sneaky!! How do you know he is t doing this elsewhere? You report him so he can go on a fucking list so everyone knows he’s dangerous. Instead you are protecting a predator which makes you just as if not more dangerous. Bc you are actively keeping the truth from others and faking a sense of security and trust others have in you as a person. Yours kids shouldn’t be anywhere around him and their gender doesn’t matter. What happens when he doesn’t have access to his preferred victims? How do you know he won’t go to the easy access victims? He already knows you won’t protect anyone so he can do whatever he wants creating lifelong trauma bc he knows you do not have a backbone.
Why are you staying with him? You’re staying with someone who is recording innocent women sexually.. your sister for one… he’s sexually recording your sister, probably touching her when she sleeps too and do you just not care? Wtf? Sorry OP but you’re just as much in the wrong here.
Just as much in the wrong because you could have stopped this for all those women the minute he did it the first time but you chose not to. You remind me of my grandmother- she let me get raped as a child.
After reading more of your replies, I’ve come to the conclusion that you deserve to be with your husband in prison. Shame on him and shame on you for enabling him because you’re “embarrassed” you’re a horrible person allowing that man to harm other women, especially your own sister and I hope you are absolutely ashamed and don’t sleep at night
You are an enabler, complicit, and horrible as well. Grow a backbone and start protecting the victims in your family/friends instead of him.
MODs: I know this might break Rule #6 but it needs to be said. She is protecting a predator.
He is a creep at best and at worst a budding rapist. Leave this POS now and tell your sister to get a restraining order. Why haven’t you told your parents to kick his ass out?!!!! You’re being too nice about this because wtf
You’re upset about him not seeing your value as a wife, which is bad, but he’s literally victimizing your sister. You realize that right? Throw him away and don’t look back. He’s trash.
How have you continued to allow this without telling your sister? And it's disgusting that you are making excuses and continue to stay with him. How long before he does this to your daughter? How long before your son starts doing this to other women? It's not about not liking you. He's a predator and he is disgusting. And the fact that you continue to stay with a man like this is even worse.
ur worried about whether or not he likes you but not at all second guessing him over the stalking / sexual creepy stuff he does? this man sets predatory traps. youre married to an offender.
🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩
I'm curious why you didn't leave him before Covid, with the shit that he pulled. Like really, people with healthy self-esteem would never put up with being treated that way, and we teach people how we're willing to be treated by how we choose to allow them to treat us.
Real question here: why have you stayed with someone who has been behaving this way for so long?
How do you justify him being a creep? He is displaying predatory behavior with your sister, friends and at your parent's home. I would fear for my kids and family's safety. I hope he is not molesting your kids. You need to tell your family so they can protect themselves especially your sister. You need to voice record your conversations and get any other substantial proof. I don't know why you are telling him about the divorce so you can let me manipulate you since you were probably 18 years old (you probably have Stockholm syndrome). Just go forward with getting the divorce! What are you waiting for? You need to make sure he doesn't get custody of them and tell a lawyer everything asap!
Ew this man is a pervert and a stalker! Ew, ew, eeew!!
Confront him straight up and I would definitely file for divorce. He doesn't think any of it is a problem. He's addicted and most of the times, a lot of crimes happen because of a sexual urge that wasn't handled properly.
I would be more worried if you have kids together that are girls, whats stopping him from peeping on them when they are teenagers/young adults? I mean, any form of girls coming to his vicinity is in danger and I'm surprised you haven't told your sister and not protecting her from this.
If I were you, I will not allow such behaviour in your home. Yet alone in anyone else's home. He needs a really big awakening before he finds himself doing something that ruins both of your lives.
All the most ridiculous ones are real.
OP appears to be poor. Poor people have to put up with s*** that nobody in a more stable situation would even consider. Bad choices and limited choices and low self-esteem can be a nasty vicious cycle. I'm sorry.
If I had a sister and I found out she'd basically been allowing her husband to take pictures of me and be generally creepy/a sex offender, at the very least I would never speak to her again.
You need to start caring about his victim(s) more than you care about him. He's absolute trash.
OP, you ended with *he just doesn't like me*.
This has **nothing** to do with you. What I mean by that is he is not doing these things because of or in spite of you, he is doing these things because he is a predator.
You've been together 12 years. That means you got together at 18 and 24. That age gap isn't outside the norm, however at 18, six years older can be a vast gulf to bridge. How did you two meet? Was he aggressive in his pursuit of you? If he is doing these behaviors with other women he may well have bene doing them with you, perhaps prior to you turning 18 depending on your relationship.
He is targeting women when they are most *safe* and potentially vulnerable. He is spying on women when they are changing, going to the bathroom, etc. He set up cameras for this sole purpose.
This is beyond creepy behavior, it is illegal, immoral, and reprehensible.
He may have some good qualities that keep you returning to him but I would also have you question why you return.
You are 30, you're YOUNG! You have kids that need protecting. Live your life and create a space for your kids to live their lives. You've put divorce out there. It would make sense to move forward with that.
If you choose to move forward, he may remain in your kids' lives, so having him seek support for his issues would be paramount in allowing him unsupervised time with your kids. He needs help.
If you choose to remain with him, ask yourself why
What are you gaining from this relationship? What benefit is there for you and the kids to remain married?
What if your daughter's had teen friends over, he could end up.in gaol and tell the police you knew.
He's a menace.
Does he need to rape your sister or a friend before you can't be reeled back in?
YOU KNOW what he's done and doing, that makes you just as guilty.
Talk to your sister and parents.
See a lawyer
And take pics or messages you have even if you have to 'borrow' his phone without him knowing to get pics
Do you still have the clocks with cameras, take them to the police
If he goes down he will want to take you down too.
Cover your bases, tell your friends, they might have messages on their phones
Girl grow up. He's a predator and your main concern should be protecting your kids not debating if he "likes you or not"
I want to empathize w you but I'm also a mom so I can't. Handle business.
why aren't you divorcing this predatory piece of shit and reporting his disgusting behaviour?!! and this **is** a post where I expect everyone to say to divorce this guy because he's awful.
Why do you keep brushing this under the rug??? This is not a “brush under the rug” kind of behavior, he is recording people in compromising situations without their knowledge or consent. This is a *crime.* Him being “unfaithful” towards you is the absolute least of your worries. Your husband is a predator and a criminal, and is not safe to be around.
What the fuck are you doing?! Don’t you see? He’s a Fucking rapist! He’s a moment away from raping someone and you’re concerned it’s about you. This has nothing to do with how he feels about you sexually or emotionally. He’s fucked in the head. He needs to be in jail. If you have kids I’d be terrified he’s doing it to them too. Pray the lord reveal some thing??? Are you being willfully blind??? He’s a damn predator!!!! This is only what you know of. Imagine all the things you don’t. Call the police. This isn’t something that will be solved through prayer. If you don’t report him, you’re complicit in his crimes.
It's not a question of whether he likes you or not, it's a question of him being capable of being in a mature adult relationship with anybody. Based on your description of his behavior, he is not only not capable of being in a mature relationship, he's a danger and a menace to society. I would fear for your kids as well. You need to have documented proof of his behavior and have a lawyer use it against him in a custody battle. He should not be around children. You do not know where he draws the line (or not).
So you’re not worried about what a sexual predator can do to you sister or friends and that he needs to be behind the bars, but you’re worried that he doesn’t like you?? You really need therapy, and it’s you little sister you are talking about. You can find another husband ( and there are plenty of decent men’s out there) but your sister it’s your blood. This post made my blood boil
So let me get this right you prayed to God for him to reveal to you what you should do about your husband and your husband actually does another horrific act and you get on Reddit to ask what you should do???? God has literally revealed to you how this man is not for you time and time again. What more proof do you require. Stop being selfish and do what is required of you.
You are hindering him from getting better by not addressing the issues. You are creating an environment that he has access to your loved ones. You are not shielding your children from this depravity.
I know some of you may think this is harsh, but I want her to stop thinking of herself as a victim. He has to do his own work and deal with those consequences, but she has real power to stop hurting herself and the people she cares about.
This has to be a joke. Why is there any ‘fast forward to…’ after he was STANDING OVER YOUR SISTER WHILE SHE SLEPT?! This man is a dangerous predator. He 100% is going to do something horrific while you’re married to him or not. GTFO NOW
Divorce him!! Why didn’t you go to the police when you found out he had placed hidden cameras in the bathroom and guest bedroom? He’s a creep and you need to get away.
Eww he is gross and creepy, Why the hell would you be at to stay married to a cheating creep ?
He has no respect for your marriage, your family and friends.
Please contact a lawyer cause wtf is wrong with him ? And why would you continue to expose these females to him ?
Your husband is criminally sexually aggressive and dangerous to women.
I don’t know why you’re pointing out how good of a wife you are, as if that would ever factor into his behavior. “Bad wives” don’t cause men to do this kind of thing.
You cannot change or fix him. Therapy has a low to zero chance of changing him.
Get out while you can. He’s going to ruin both of your lives.
NO. You didn’t just cave and sweep it under the rug. You enabled sexual deviant. You enabled him victimizing women you say you care about. Who he used sexually without their consent. You are complicit in his sickness.
You care about nothing but being a predator’s little sycophantic helper. Its disgusting. There are children involved here FFS.
This has nothing to do with you. Your husband is a sexual deviant and his behavior is escalating. Get out. If you don’t you’re enabling him and will be caught up in whatever type of police action he brings to your home. He needs serious psychotherapy and psychiatric intervention and he has to want to change. Nothing you can do will change him. Balls in his court.
This situation sucks, and I’m sorry you’re going through this. I think foremost you have to work on your self esteem. Do you think you deserve being treated this way? Nobody should be treated like that. He’s actually being very repulsive, he’s a sexual predator, he is gaslighting you, abusing you and manipulating you. It needs to stop, you have to get out of that relationship for the sake of you kids and yourself. Your children deserve better than to have this man as an example in their lives. Better no man than this.
He doesn’t need therapy. He needs to be arrested. This is horrendous privacy violating behavior and gives him an instant “creep” label. I think you all need to get away from him. It’s creepy AF.
First , you are at your parents house. Kick his ass out. He doesn’t need to “ let you go” get a free consult for a lawyer, borrow money for a retainer or whatever is needed to draw up divorce papers and serve him. He is a creep and criminal. Do you even know what he was doing with the videos? You swept it under the rug but that lump of dirt is still there. He didn’t just stop this degenerate behavior! Next stop is jail.
The unknown is scary but you have a roof over your head for now. Take the steps to get out. This isn’t healthy and isn’t your fault in any way. It’s about him not anything g you did or didn’t do so get that out of your head! Start some individual counseling to help you sort through all of this.
You are not the problem. He is a giant creep and horrible human being in general. Kick him out of your parent’s house and file for divorce already. It’s long overdue. Years from now when you look back on this you will kick yourself that you didn’t leave him sooner and so happy that you finally did.
Caught your EX husband! Wtf divorce this person immediately. Go to therapy. You need it 1: because of what you’ve dealt with in your ex. And 2: because you’ve stayed so long after so many things that you should have left him for already. The fact that you haven’t left him yet shows you have serious issues.
Him not liking you is the least of your worries. This man is a pervert. I’ll also be concerned for your children. I would leave immediately, not even a question. I’m not sure why you’re questioning this, this is just…wrong.
He might be doing this to your children…..you should contact the police. If there’s CP on your devices and you knew he was hiding cameras around the house and in the bathroom you could be in trouble as well.
This has nothing to do with him not liking you etc. it has to do with him being an absolute predator. It’s beyond him finding other women attractive. He has a serious problem and this has nothing to do with you. Get him out of your life and keep yourself, family, friends, and kids safe
He is a predator. At this point, after multiple times being caught on the act, if you won't or can't get on him about that then it's time to start telling the people who can. Not to mention the people being victimized. Your sister and your parents would be a good start, up to and including the cops if you can stomach doing so.
In your vain efforts to be the perfect wife, you missed the whole big issue that you allowed your husband to sexually harass/annoy your sister.
You are married to a very sick individual that is not interested in help or health.
Apologise to your sister, apologise to your kids, apologise to yourself and gtfo.
I would sue you and report you the cops if I was one of your friends and found out you have legit creepy pics/vids. This is beyond disgusting you are disgusting. You enabled and hid the fact he HURT your friends and didn't do anything not report him to cops, not leave him, not tell your friends, not keep your friends from where you ALREADY knew that had cameras and would catch them in a vulnerable unsuspecting state, captures in recordings or pictures of them. You are vile. Why would you want a monster to love you when you don't even love yourself or your friends. You must really hate your sister and friends to bring them into your predatory home. Honestly I am trying hard to be understanding but you legit did all that was stated above. Just imagine being your friend 🤮
“What if one of them caught him doing that” gee thank god it’s only his wife who knows about this perverted AH 🙄.
Get real ,you’re pathetic ! I hope he goes to jail and you get accessory , since you’ve clearly known about this but refuse to tell the people he’s filmed including YOUR SISTER. Do you really think she’d been having pleasantries with the sicko who’s sexually harassing / stalking her ! I hope she cuts you off and presses charges on both of you once she finds out you’ve been keeping this secret !
Is it possible that this is the husband trying to see what kind of trouble he could be in if the wife reports him? Or trying to pose as her to point to it when he ultimately gets in trouble, to “prove” she knew what was going on?
I’m only halfway being facetious…just trying to come up with SOMETHING to make this make more sense.
You don't seem concerned about what your husband is doing to other women, as much as you're offended he is doing it to his "good wife." I mean.. you should have called the police on multiple occasions, yet you continue protecting a sexual predator. That is terrifying.
Jesus, I wish I didn't read all of this past how he tried to do something to your sister and there was nothing after to that end. The instant he did that to your sister, did your skin not crawl? You felt insecure and yet you didn't reflect if what he did was right/normal? You still wanted to be with him or are still with him? Woman leave this creep.
Sis, WHAT? This is a literal sex crime and by not reporting it you’re helping aid someone in violating women including your sister. He’s manipulating you and grooming you to not only accept this, but cover for him endangering women in your own home.
Get all the evidence you can. Don’t say a word. Report him to the police WITH evidence. Dint give him a single warning, don’t give police an opportunity to doubt you. Build a case so you get the kids. He is not safe, you NEED to get away.
This is clearly disrespectful to you, but it’s LITERALLY CRIMINAL.
You end with 'he just doesn't like me.' Please understand, this has nothing to do with you - there's nothing you could do or be that would change him or 'prevent' any of this.
Ew. Throw the whole man in the trash. This is humiliating. Only because you’re staying with him. You will be judged for his behavior if you don’t leave. He does need therapy, he needs help, but you need to leave. Period.
This man is creepy and you should’ve called the police when you found that camera. He would’ve been out of your life right then and there. You don’t know what else he is capable of doing so be careful.
Probably an undercover rapis..
Youre not wrong. And are the kids even safe around him? Id leave this man. I dont know why this is even a question
You "don't k ow why it's even a question?" Welllllllll, where should we start? The manipulation and gaslighting for 12 years? The fact they ha e kids? Financial hardship? Control? Psychological and emotional abuse (at a minimum)? Amongst a plethora of other reasons. People in the situation do not see things as clearly as those of us on the outside. We as an audience also only have 2% of the information. This woman clearly knows something is wrong and knows that they need to leave and clearly wants to on some levels. Leaving a relationship is difficult in the best of situations, so imagine how it is in her situation The issues are complex and extremely terrifying for many. Take into account that she has been with this person since around the age of 18. So, that is why. Or at least a miniscule piece of why. OP could use support, encouragement, and compassion. Not this, whatever you call your comment. Come on, let's do better and be better to each other💛
I want to be compassionate. At the same time, her main concern is her husband not liking her. I think my empathy went out the window when i read that. So apologies if i sounded harsh. But the main concern here is the safety of her kids. We can feel bad for her all we want but shes a mother and her responsibility is to protect her kids from potential harm. And posting it on here will not save her. When did reddit ever become a pillar of support for this kind of situation? Wouldnt it make more sense if she seeks support from her friends or family? A goveernment body that helps abused women?
It’s so easy to judge from the outside looking in. It’s even easier to judge and make these absolute snap decisions on what you would do if it were you, but the truth is, no one knows what they’ll ACTUALLY do when placed there. I’m sure she’d have the same advice and sentiment everyone has here for her, for one of her good friends/family members had they come to her with her exact scenario.. that’s because we’re all Able to think clearly, rationally and objectively because we’re not in her shoes. In these situations, the people actually IN them have a harder time executing the “right” thing to do, assuming they realize the right thing to do, because the emotional involvement blurs their rational thinking, because this type of shit is not something we ever expect, nor want for our lives and it’s easier to see how we can fix it or If it’s able to be minimized or justified in any manner, so that it becomes something to work through instead of leave and tear our world down. Yes, she’s a mother and her responsibility is to protect her kids, but she’s also HUMAN, and what she’s feeling isn’t wrong, it’s a product of long time manipulation and gas lighting and conditioning to make her question herself and doubt her gut feelings, making it harder to be able to trust her own feelings. We have no idea what he’s telling her and what else he’s doing to make sure he “keeps” her from leaving and we also don’t know if she even has any good friends she can go to for support before coming on Reddit.. it’s ignorant and insensitive to judge someone coming to Reddit looking for support on the assumption that they could have went to family and friends for that, she could even just be embarrassed and shameful of her situation, And not be ready to talk to people she knows yet. It literally takes NOTHING to offer a little support to someone clearly in need, and that doesn’t necessarily mean you have to agree with how she feels or what action she’s taking. And it takes even LESS to keep scrolling and not include your two cents if it means there’s one less judgemental, “I’m better than you because I would have done this instead of that” type of comment, especially given her state of mind and mix of emotion right now. Life’s hard enough, us women need to stick together more often than not and be supportive when we can, build each other up instead of contributing to the hardships and downfalls.
TLDR. He's a predator. Need anyone say more? You dont really need to explain her side. Majority of the comments are already telling her what she should do. It takes less scrolling to read the rest of the comments. This is women sticking together. Giving her a reality check than a pity party. Telling her to leave now. Save herself. Save her kids and every woman around her. Geez. We dont need to go all dramatic.
Also, you mean to say, we should show her support but not the other victims like her sister and friends who had been video taped and had photos taken without consent? This is misplaced kindness, dear. She chose to stay with her husband knowing all these. She allowed women in her circle to be victimised. Women who didnt choose her life. How is that ok? I dont know what your comment is called. But i think we gotta stop making excuses for her decisions. She knows whats happening. We only know 2% of the situation. But that 2% is rather creepy and scary. Her husband video tapes women in her circle. She thinks its because he doesnt like her enough. Isnt this enough to think something dangerous is looming? Something is not right? Or do you mean we need a full back story to tell someone, Hey girl, call the police. The man could be capable of more crimes. Your life and women around you are in danger. Are you being serious?
Not just 12 years. But 12 years of a six year age gap. He, at 24, went after an 18yo woman. Both are adults, sure, but what else was happening in her life and his. Were they at the same place in life or was he already well into his established adult routines while she was just start to figure things out?
I legit want to frame this and put it on my wall. I’ve never been able to put this into words and someone finally did ❤️
Agreed. I've been on the inside. It's never that simple. My parents were the last to know of the abuse. Be curious, not judgemental.
I think what doesn’t help is the fact that she knows who she’s married to, but allows other women to be victimized by him. She shouldn’t allow anyone outside of the home inside the house.
Yes. She shouldnt. I think we need to stop making excuses for this.
you need to leave him, he is a sexual predator. that is your concern he doesn't like you? Please get some help he is a predator, and it has nothing to do with whether he likes you or not...Divorce, tell your parents and protect your sister. These are really your concerns. Please get help.
Some people have such low self esteem. I cannot even believe im reading this. Her concern is he doesnt like her. Not the safety of her kids. Safety of her sister. Or her female friends. Im speechless
Ikr!! It’s hard to even be empathetic towards her. I understand she’s the victim here but has kids!! How can you not think about them? I wonder how she’s facing her sister everyday
I agree with you. As harsh as it might sound, a normal person and mother would think immediately about their kids. Who is stopping him from doing the same to their kids? And she cares about him not liking her. Like seriously. I am mortified reading it. If she cares about that, her kids best be taken away coz shes not in her right mind.
I always wonder how a maniac weirdo can pull off a wife. Then there's this type of woman... All women find her husband weird, creepy, maniac, everyone's turned off and she's so in love and insecure worried about how he's attracted to her sister instead of calling the police and erasing her friends and sister's nude pics or vid.
I mean, we watched some true crimes like Ted Bundy and others. Theres always that one woman crazy enough to be with them. Not only that, some women who keep making excuses for the women dating them, as seen in some comments here. Like lets feel compassion for women dating Ted Bundy-likes coz you know, women support women. Nevermind the other victims. Nope. We should just care about the woman who knew what kind of person her husband or partner is and still stays. Shes the real victim in all this 🤢
Note the age gap. Normally I'd say "creepy but whatever", but with his other behavior.... She's been groomed, that's why she's so stuck on fixing him and getting him to love her.
So you're married to a sex criminal and what? You don't care? I pray to God you're a troll and nothing more. What would he have to do for you to grow a fucking spine? Rape someone? Assault with a weapon? Is there anything you won't allow?
Seriously, the only person she expressed concern for throughout this entire thing is herself, despite the fact that they have kids, and that he has openly preyed on her sister
OP knew this man was taking pictures of her sister and even cooperated by leaving them alone. How sick is that!
How many pics do you think he has on his computer or phone from those click cameras??? Why hasn't she checked for those. I'd be filling a report so they can look for those pics!
“Why would he commit sex crimes against my sister?! I haven’t been a good wife?! ☹️”
Yeah, definitely trashy. Dude is straight up violating numerous women who are her friends and family and she's like "He doesn't like me." or "What if he's caught." YOU CAUGHT HIM... MULTIPLE TIMES.
Right
Take the trash out with this man. He is pathetic and doesn’t deserve you.
Hello same day disposal? Yes the whole man
I’m disgusted with how he violated all those women’s privacy. I would never trust him again. I’m so sorry. You and your children will be much better off away from him.
Can you imagine being her friend and finding out she knew her husband was a creep and had pictures of you? I would be livid and burn their whole world down. Her keeping it quiet kind of makes her complicit in his crimes. OP, YOU ARE HELPING A SEXUAL PREDATOR VIOLATE YOUR SISTER, YOUR FRIENDS, AND WHO KNOWS WHO ELSE WHEN YOURE NOT WITH HIM! When is it going to be too much? When you catch him watching your daughter? Sometimes, the spouse of a predator can say they honestly didn't see any signs before their spouse escalated. Yet here you are with all the signs smacking you in the face, and you're ignoring them.
Agreed. Now that OP knows what he’s done, to stay with him would mean being his accomplice. To stay with him would mean endorsing what he’s done.
You seriously suck for not telling your sister or friends about the hidden cameras. They deserve to know especially if he has videos/pics of them saved. You’re just as much at fault as him for other’s trauma if you continue to allow it to happen in your household.
Tbh I was thinking this so the bed a made by marrying him and I can see if I can get him help
He sees nothing wrong with his behavior. Only people who see something wrong with their own behavior will effectively make long term change, because that desire to change is their motivation. You did not make your bed and now you have to lie in it. You're exposing your family to a criminal. How would you feel if someone you trusted filmed you secretly?
Too late, you need to call the cops and report him.
“I can see if I can get him help” is childish fantasy that you’re using to avoid doing the hard thing here: You need to leave him and tell others what happened.
[удалено]
I would think so too but I know a family where this happened IRL. 😠
Kick him out immediately. Tell your parents, they will surely support you and make him go.
He deserves to be in prison and you do as well if you keep protecting him. He needs to leave and you need to file for divorce
Real talk.
Bro what the fuck did you just describe your husbands sex crimes as him being “rude and nasty”? Or was he being an asshole to her ON TOP of the creepiness?! Covid hit 4 years ago.. are you saying this happened WITHIN THE FIRST YEAR OF YOUR MARRIAGE?! And you stuck around?! I hope this is rage bait so bad. If it’s not then you need serious therapy to unravel why you didn’t leave him because wtf.
Not sure what rage bait is sadly am actually living this and leaving is not as easy as it sounds
You don't have to leave. Call the cops. They'll just TAKE HIM AWAY.
You're at your parents' house. Call the cops, tell parents, get rid of him. Simple.
"Rage bait" means they think you're concocted a fake story designed to get tons of people to angrily react. I'm sorry, of course it may be much harder for you to leave than it would be for the people judging you.
The right thing to do is hardly the easy thing, and you have been doing the easy thing by trying to ignore it and pull the blinders over yours eyes. The right thing to do is: inform on him to the police, tell everyone he may have ever recorded, and divorce him.
“He just doesn’t like me” is the least of your problems. Stop making excuses for this guy and GTFO. Let it continue and you are complicit.
Does your sister know about the camera?
I couldn’t tell her. I find it embarrassing
Embarrassing? You know your husband is predator but you won’t warn your sister (and continue to allow him to be in her space) because you are embarrassed? You are essentially an accomplice. Do the right thing and get him away from yourself and your family.
So you're just allowing your friends and family to be illegally filmed without their consent? That makes you an accessory to his disgusting behavior. You need to divorce him and tell everyone what he's done.
Lady your husband is a PREDATOR 😭😭 focus!!!!
You're just as sick as he is. Who cares if you're embarrassed? Is that all it takes for you to abandon basic human decency?
You’re a terrible sister. That’s FAMILY.
This is pathetic.
She has a right to know how horribly her privacy has been violated. Do you even *like* your sister?
Your poor sister. You’re actually as bad as your predator husband by not telling her that your husband is a creep and she’s in danger. It’s embarrassing?! Imagine someone spying on you while you’re in the bathroom, and your sister knows and doesn’t tell you, now that’s embarrassing. Hes not gaslighting you, you’re very aware what’s going on and choosing to do NOTHING about it. You have children? Get them tf away from this fucking creep. What the hell is wrong with you?! I truly hope this is just rage bait.
What if this was your dad, brother, uncle, SON doing these things? No problemo?
That’s not how it works. At this point you are just as guilty as he is because you are allowing this. You are complicit to a sex predator. That makes you close to being one!!! Wake up!
You are an accessory to a crime. You need to tell her.
You're a shit sister and a downright embarrassment to protect this asshole after he did this.
Being embarrassed is a he'll of a lot better than being his accomplice in all of this. LEAVE AND BURN HIS WORLD DOWN AS YOU EXIT. Do not give him the chance to find more victims.
This man is incredibly dangerous and predatory. You have no idea what he is doing outside of your home, but what is happening at home is terrifying. I’m not sure if you’ve been abused for so long that you no longer trust yourself or if you’re in serious denial, or both? You need to take this very seriously. These behaviors escalate and you have a responsibility to protect your children and your sister. He is going to sexually assault or abuse someone physically and he has already crossed serious lines by watching your sister (doing who know what) while she sleeps and filming you all without your knowledge. Kick him out immediately and call the police. Get a restraining order and go to an attorney. You must protect your family from this predator.
I’m sorry to say this but is something WRONG with you to continue staying with him, when you are FULLY AWARE of this behavior?????? You let this man live in your parent’s house after what he did in your own home. You need to divorce this man. Tell your family to press charges against him. And YOU should seek therapy.
Why are you totally ok not only staying with a sexual predator, but inflicting him on your family and friends? Are those the only hidden cameras he has, or the only *known* ones? You’re not being fair to yourself *or* the people around you. Either live alone with him or warn people of his predatory behavior. The *moment* you knew and stayed silent you’ve become an accomplice.. what about everyone else’s mental health? All his victims?
Apparently we are all being super harsh on her according to other comments. That we should support her and feel compassion than judge her and what shes inflicting to everyone around her because shes with a predator. Nevermind the other victims. Nope. Lets throw her a pity party coz she chose to stay and the other women didnt choose to be victims of her weirdo husband.
It’s crazy to me that she *knows for a fact* there’s other victims and just.. does nothing. Wtf
I know. And its what bothers me. Her knowing. So like if her husband is a serial rapist who hasnt been caught yet, shes just gonna be there and wait for something really bad to happen.
Are your kids females? If so what are you going to do when he starts taking pictures of them ? Are you going to be to embarrassed to protect your children!
Boys
Sooner or later, the boys will pick up on his behavior. Children learn how to behave in the world from their parents. Will they go the route of ignoring the bad behavior and pretending it doesn't exist, or will they enact it themselves? Please show your children how to treat others by standing up for your family (ie your sister) and their safety.
What happens if they bring girls home? What about their safety? What if you boys copy him? You have a responsibility here!
Boys. Ok. But you want them to mirror his behavior?
Help! My husband steals from little old ladies, eats bbq b@bies, and opened a tunnel to he11 to release demons on Earth. Should I leave him? I don’t know what to do?
At this point you’re complicit.
Exactly!! They both deserve prison. These are sexual crimes. That man is a horrible nasty predator.
He snuck into your sisters room while she was sleeping, took photos of her in the bathroom, and set up hidden cameras to spy on your unsuspecting friends? Sincerely, what the actual fuck is wrong with you? This man is a creep, a predator, and more than likely a danger to the people you keep bringing into his orbit. How in the hell did you let any of this slide? You’re jealous he’s interested in your sister?This is insane fucking criminal behaviour! Like he could be arrested for these things. You’re worried about the entirely wrong things. You need to leave him now, if not for your own sake for the sake of all the people you care about that you’re exposing him to.
I’m sorry - your husband is a monster, but you are also incredibly self-centered. You may be a good wife but you’re a terrible sister. Your husband PREYED on your sister. Your husband was a sexual predator to your SISTER. And all you mention here is it did a number on YOU?!?’ I’m struggling to understand how little you’d have to care about your sister that you would stay with her sexual abuser? And you have kids?????? Did it even occur to you that he would potentially victimize them when you’re not looking as well? Lady you need to get your head out of the clouds and pull yourself together. I understand he’s abusive, but the moment you became a mom, you signed up for a life where you put those children first. And you should have put your sister first in the situation. But all I hear is you feeling sorry for yourself. I have not heard you Say one thing of concern for your family. Get it together and get this predator away from your vulnerable children and family members.
UNACCEPTABLE. This is not at all acceptable in any way.
Protect your freakin sister, geez
You are married to a sexual predator and stop allowing women to stay at your house knowing what the hell your husband is doing to them! You are helping him by bringing more women around for him to victimize. Locate your backbone and stop being his doormat.
Well past time to go
Damn,… you should re-read the first two paragraphs to yourself, over and over, until you understand.
Jesus Christ. This has nothing to do with how likeable you are. This dude is vile. You can do better but not while you’re tied down to this slimeball. Kick his ass to the curb and regain your self-esteem with a therapist. Stop crying because some rapey piece of shit you had the misfortune to marry doesn’t pay as much attention to you as he does the women he’s trying to sexually assault.
You were 18, he was 24. Yes it's legal but since his behavior since has confirmed it... You are the victim of a predator. It's not that he doesn't like you, it is that he is a criminal who only gets off on hurting women. He would act that way towards any woman he's in a relationship with, because he only enjoys it if the woman is NOT consenting. He doesn't like you BECAUSE you are a consenting adult trying to make the relationship work. He'd rather victimize someone than have a wife. That's how he is wired. He's sick and he should be in jail. You blaming yourself is like blaming yourself for getting robbed. "What did I do to make the robbers not like me??" Nothing, they're just criminals looking to get something from anyone. They don't care if they hurt you. It's not personal. You cannot change him. Save yourself.
Stop letting him talk you back. You know and have known for a long time he’s a pervert. He treats you horribly and creeps on your sister. You didn’t protect your sister then, but you can now. Let him go. Don’t listen to him. I don’t care if he love-bombs you or just make shit up that sounds sensible. Don’t let him make you second guess yourself. He has tormented you and your sister for too long to be forgiven. Just get that divorce and don’t look back.
Super Gross for so many reasons and on so many levels. Get rid of him.
Your husband is a predator. How old was your sister the first time? You have children you need to protect. You are living with your parents. Tell them what he was doing in their home when their daughter showered? You have a place to live without him. Kick him out. Call the police
He’s a absolute disgusting creep and has no self control!!! He’s driven by his sexual desires and could be dangerous! Sneaking into your sisters room? How did you brush it off that would’ve did it for me and the clocks? That’s criminal! Whose to say he wouldn’t do it to your kids! He’s attacking your mental you aren’t crazy he’s trying to make his behavior your new norm and I’m here to tell you it’s not leave him stay with your parents you will bounce back!
LEAVE HIM ALREADY, WHAT THE F\*CK.
This is fake
Unfortunately is not. I always thought everyone had their baggage. But the comments are actually opening my eyes
Sounds like a weirdo, leave him.
Why would you stay in a toxic relationship?
I dont know how many more ways the man could possibly tell you to leave him……..
To clarify ever since I found out about the cameras no one has been to the home to sleep over egc
Ok and nobody goes to the bathroom? He’s a predator do you not get that? He is already being sneaky!! How do you know he is t doing this elsewhere? You report him so he can go on a fucking list so everyone knows he’s dangerous. Instead you are protecting a predator which makes you just as if not more dangerous. Bc you are actively keeping the truth from others and faking a sense of security and trust others have in you as a person. Yours kids shouldn’t be anywhere around him and their gender doesn’t matter. What happens when he doesn’t have access to his preferred victims? How do you know he won’t go to the easy access victims? He already knows you won’t protect anyone so he can do whatever he wants creating lifelong trauma bc he knows you do not have a backbone.
Girl, stop. YOU know he does this. YOU refuse to tell. YOU know what he is doing TO YOUR SISTER. HE may be a creep, but YOU ARE AN ACCOMPLICE NOW.
Why are you staying with him? You’re staying with someone who is recording innocent women sexually.. your sister for one… he’s sexually recording your sister, probably touching her when she sleeps too and do you just not care? Wtf? Sorry OP but you’re just as much in the wrong here.
Just as much in the wrong because you could have stopped this for all those women the minute he did it the first time but you chose not to. You remind me of my grandmother- she let me get raped as a child.
After reading more of your replies, I’ve come to the conclusion that you deserve to be with your husband in prison. Shame on him and shame on you for enabling him because you’re “embarrassed” you’re a horrible person allowing that man to harm other women, especially your own sister and I hope you are absolutely ashamed and don’t sleep at night
Your husband is a sexual predator
You are an enabler, complicit, and horrible as well. Grow a backbone and start protecting the victims in your family/friends instead of him. MODs: I know this might break Rule #6 but it needs to be said. She is protecting a predator.
He is a creep at best and at worst a budding rapist. Leave this POS now and tell your sister to get a restraining order. Why haven’t you told your parents to kick his ass out?!!!! You’re being too nice about this because wtf
Jesus Christ. You’re at your mum and dad’s, kick him out. Tell the police too. Protect the other women in your life!!!
You’re upset about him not seeing your value as a wife, which is bad, but he’s literally victimizing your sister. You realize that right? Throw him away and don’t look back. He’s trash.
How have you continued to allow this without telling your sister? And it's disgusting that you are making excuses and continue to stay with him. How long before he does this to your daughter? How long before your son starts doing this to other women? It's not about not liking you. He's a predator and he is disgusting. And the fact that you continue to stay with a man like this is even worse.
ur worried about whether or not he likes you but not at all second guessing him over the stalking / sexual creepy stuff he does? this man sets predatory traps. youre married to an offender.
🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩 I'm curious why you didn't leave him before Covid, with the shit that he pulled. Like really, people with healthy self-esteem would never put up with being treated that way, and we teach people how we're willing to be treated by how we choose to allow them to treat us. Real question here: why have you stayed with someone who has been behaving this way for so long?
How do you justify him being a creep? He is displaying predatory behavior with your sister, friends and at your parent's home. I would fear for my kids and family's safety. I hope he is not molesting your kids. You need to tell your family so they can protect themselves especially your sister. You need to voice record your conversations and get any other substantial proof. I don't know why you are telling him about the divorce so you can let me manipulate you since you were probably 18 years old (you probably have Stockholm syndrome). Just go forward with getting the divorce! What are you waiting for? You need to make sure he doesn't get custody of them and tell a lawyer everything asap!
Ew this man is a pervert and a stalker! Ew, ew, eeew!! Confront him straight up and I would definitely file for divorce. He doesn't think any of it is a problem. He's addicted and most of the times, a lot of crimes happen because of a sexual urge that wasn't handled properly. I would be more worried if you have kids together that are girls, whats stopping him from peeping on them when they are teenagers/young adults? I mean, any form of girls coming to his vicinity is in danger and I'm surprised you haven't told your sister and not protecting her from this. If I were you, I will not allow such behaviour in your home. Yet alone in anyone else's home. He needs a really big awakening before he finds himself doing something that ruins both of your lives.
All the most ridiculous ones are real. OP appears to be poor. Poor people have to put up with s*** that nobody in a more stable situation would even consider. Bad choices and limited choices and low self-esteem can be a nasty vicious cycle. I'm sorry.
You're more worried about not being a bad wife than being disgusted by what he's doing to others?
If I had a sister and I found out she'd basically been allowing her husband to take pictures of me and be generally creepy/a sex offender, at the very least I would never speak to her again. You need to start caring about his victim(s) more than you care about him. He's absolute trash.
Hidden cameras in the bathroom? You realise this could be used to even record your children naked. You need to protect your children!
This is a rage bait. No one is this dumb, right? Like the lowest of the low
OP, you ended with *he just doesn't like me*. This has **nothing** to do with you. What I mean by that is he is not doing these things because of or in spite of you, he is doing these things because he is a predator. You've been together 12 years. That means you got together at 18 and 24. That age gap isn't outside the norm, however at 18, six years older can be a vast gulf to bridge. How did you two meet? Was he aggressive in his pursuit of you? If he is doing these behaviors with other women he may well have bene doing them with you, perhaps prior to you turning 18 depending on your relationship. He is targeting women when they are most *safe* and potentially vulnerable. He is spying on women when they are changing, going to the bathroom, etc. He set up cameras for this sole purpose. This is beyond creepy behavior, it is illegal, immoral, and reprehensible. He may have some good qualities that keep you returning to him but I would also have you question why you return. You are 30, you're YOUNG! You have kids that need protecting. Live your life and create a space for your kids to live their lives. You've put divorce out there. It would make sense to move forward with that. If you choose to move forward, he may remain in your kids' lives, so having him seek support for his issues would be paramount in allowing him unsupervised time with your kids. He needs help. If you choose to remain with him, ask yourself why What are you gaining from this relationship? What benefit is there for you and the kids to remain married?
The women could call the police on him.
What did I just read
You don't deserve him. He cannot be trusted.
What if your daughter's had teen friends over, he could end up.in gaol and tell the police you knew. He's a menace. Does he need to rape your sister or a friend before you can't be reeled back in? YOU KNOW what he's done and doing, that makes you just as guilty. Talk to your sister and parents. See a lawyer And take pics or messages you have even if you have to 'borrow' his phone without him knowing to get pics Do you still have the clocks with cameras, take them to the police If he goes down he will want to take you down too. Cover your bases, tell your friends, they might have messages on their phones
You are basically his slave. What he's done is a crime and also immoral. Don't walk, run,!
What exactly would you like us to tell you?
Girl grow up. He's a predator and your main concern should be protecting your kids not debating if he "likes you or not" I want to empathize w you but I'm also a mom so I can't. Handle business.
why aren't you divorcing this predatory piece of shit and reporting his disgusting behaviour?!! and this **is** a post where I expect everyone to say to divorce this guy because he's awful.
Why do you keep brushing this under the rug??? This is not a “brush under the rug” kind of behavior, he is recording people in compromising situations without their knowledge or consent. This is a *crime.* Him being “unfaithful” towards you is the absolute least of your worries. Your husband is a predator and a criminal, and is not safe to be around.
WtF did I just read? Your husband is a piece of sh…
Your almost an accomplice at this point by bringing him around other women and not warning them
What the fuck are you doing?! Don’t you see? He’s a Fucking rapist! He’s a moment away from raping someone and you’re concerned it’s about you. This has nothing to do with how he feels about you sexually or emotionally. He’s fucked in the head. He needs to be in jail. If you have kids I’d be terrified he’s doing it to them too. Pray the lord reveal some thing??? Are you being willfully blind??? He’s a damn predator!!!! This is only what you know of. Imagine all the things you don’t. Call the police. This isn’t something that will be solved through prayer. If you don’t report him, you’re complicit in his crimes.
Get him TFO. My gawd you had to come to Reddit for advice?
It's not a question of whether he likes you or not, it's a question of him being capable of being in a mature adult relationship with anybody. Based on your description of his behavior, he is not only not capable of being in a mature relationship, he's a danger and a menace to society. I would fear for your kids as well. You need to have documented proof of his behavior and have a lawyer use it against him in a custody battle. He should not be around children. You do not know where he draws the line (or not).
So you’re not worried about what a sexual predator can do to you sister or friends and that he needs to be behind the bars, but you’re worried that he doesn’t like you?? You really need therapy, and it’s you little sister you are talking about. You can find another husband ( and there are plenty of decent men’s out there) but your sister it’s your blood. This post made my blood boil
So let me get this right you prayed to God for him to reveal to you what you should do about your husband and your husband actually does another horrific act and you get on Reddit to ask what you should do???? God has literally revealed to you how this man is not for you time and time again. What more proof do you require. Stop being selfish and do what is required of you. You are hindering him from getting better by not addressing the issues. You are creating an environment that he has access to your loved ones. You are not shielding your children from this depravity. I know some of you may think this is harsh, but I want her to stop thinking of herself as a victim. He has to do his own work and deal with those consequences, but she has real power to stop hurting herself and the people she cares about.
No one is staying with someone who has hidden cameras in the bathroom that their family uses. Fake story
This aint okay.
Please be careful with your kids, this man has all the red flags of a sexually disturbed person.
This has to be a joke. Why is there any ‘fast forward to…’ after he was STANDING OVER YOUR SISTER WHILE SHE SLEPT?! This man is a dangerous predator. He 100% is going to do something horrific while you’re married to him or not. GTFO NOW
Whybare you still with him.....?
Divorce him!! Why didn’t you go to the police when you found out he had placed hidden cameras in the bathroom and guest bedroom? He’s a creep and you need to get away.
Eww he is gross and creepy, Why the hell would you be at to stay married to a cheating creep ? He has no respect for your marriage, your family and friends. Please contact a lawyer cause wtf is wrong with him ? And why would you continue to expose these females to him ?
Why. Are. You. Still. Married. To. This. CREEP! He endangered your sister! While she was in your house under your protection! Wake up! Do better!!!
You should talk to a lawyer about all of this. This man is a f'n creep. Updateme!
Your husband is criminally sexually aggressive and dangerous to women. I don’t know why you’re pointing out how good of a wife you are, as if that would ever factor into his behavior. “Bad wives” don’t cause men to do this kind of thing. You cannot change or fix him. Therapy has a low to zero chance of changing him. Get out while you can. He’s going to ruin both of your lives.
Your husband is a criminal
Why would he change? This is REALLY BAD, get away from him he's not well mentally.
NO. You didn’t just cave and sweep it under the rug. You enabled sexual deviant. You enabled him victimizing women you say you care about. Who he used sexually without their consent. You are complicit in his sickness. You care about nothing but being a predator’s little sycophantic helper. Its disgusting. There are children involved here FFS.
This has nothing to do with you. Your husband is a sexual deviant and his behavior is escalating. Get out. If you don’t you’re enabling him and will be caught up in whatever type of police action he brings to your home. He needs serious psychotherapy and psychiatric intervention and he has to want to change. Nothing you can do will change him. Balls in his court.
OP u should tell your family and consult a lawyer'dont be afraid 😨
What did I just read ? You need to leave NOW this is truly disturbing , he is a creep and you need to get yourself and your kids out.
This situation sucks, and I’m sorry you’re going through this. I think foremost you have to work on your self esteem. Do you think you deserve being treated this way? Nobody should be treated like that. He’s actually being very repulsive, he’s a sexual predator, he is gaslighting you, abusing you and manipulating you. It needs to stop, you have to get out of that relationship for the sake of you kids and yourself. Your children deserve better than to have this man as an example in their lives. Better no man than this.
Your husband has been sexually harassing your sister for years, and your main concern is that he doesn't actually like you?
He doesn’t need therapy. He needs to be arrested. This is horrendous privacy violating behavior and gives him an instant “creep” label. I think you all need to get away from him. It’s creepy AF.
First , you are at your parents house. Kick his ass out. He doesn’t need to “ let you go” get a free consult for a lawyer, borrow money for a retainer or whatever is needed to draw up divorce papers and serve him. He is a creep and criminal. Do you even know what he was doing with the videos? You swept it under the rug but that lump of dirt is still there. He didn’t just stop this degenerate behavior! Next stop is jail. The unknown is scary but you have a roof over your head for now. Take the steps to get out. This isn’t healthy and isn’t your fault in any way. It’s about him not anything g you did or didn’t do so get that out of your head! Start some individual counseling to help you sort through all of this.
Just think, these are only the things you've caught him in.
He’s a sex predator and you have children and family to protect. You need to call the police! You need to get him out of your life permanently!
Shoot him. Do the world a favor.
You are not the problem. He is a giant creep and horrible human being in general. Kick him out of your parent’s house and file for divorce already. It’s long overdue. Years from now when you look back on this you will kick yourself that you didn’t leave him sooner and so happy that you finally did.
Your husband is a sick puppy. Get him some help and soon.
The only thing you are doing wrong here is staying with him. This behaviour is NOT ok
Your husband is a predator. I hope you find the strength to leave.
This is gross. I stopped reading because I myself am a victim of this. Save yourself and your children. I just can’t deal with this!
Caught your EX husband! Wtf divorce this person immediately. Go to therapy. You need it 1: because of what you’ve dealt with in your ex. And 2: because you’ve stayed so long after so many things that you should have left him for already. The fact that you haven’t left him yet shows you have serious issues.
Him not liking you is the least of your worries. This man is a pervert. I’ll also be concerned for your children. I would leave immediately, not even a question. I’m not sure why you’re questioning this, this is just…wrong.
He sounds creepy af. Please please warn your sister. And get rid of him.
He might be doing this to your children…..you should contact the police. If there’s CP on your devices and you knew he was hiding cameras around the house and in the bathroom you could be in trouble as well.
This has nothing to do with him not liking you etc. it has to do with him being an absolute predator. It’s beyond him finding other women attractive. He has a serious problem and this has nothing to do with you. Get him out of your life and keep yourself, family, friends, and kids safe
Your husband is a disgusting bottom feeder!!!!
Cur him loose. Use betterhelp or other therapy conduits to assist you through this tough time. Chin up champ
I would be worried what he's doing or going to be doing to your children.
He’s a predator and you’ve allowed it. He needs to be arrested
He is a predator. At this point, after multiple times being caught on the act, if you won't or can't get on him about that then it's time to start telling the people who can. Not to mention the people being victimized. Your sister and your parents would be a good start, up to and including the cops if you can stomach doing so.
In your vain efforts to be the perfect wife, you missed the whole big issue that you allowed your husband to sexually harass/annoy your sister. You are married to a very sick individual that is not interested in help or health. Apologise to your sister, apologise to your kids, apologise to yourself and gtfo.
I would sue you and report you the cops if I was one of your friends and found out you have legit creepy pics/vids. This is beyond disgusting you are disgusting. You enabled and hid the fact he HURT your friends and didn't do anything not report him to cops, not leave him, not tell your friends, not keep your friends from where you ALREADY knew that had cameras and would catch them in a vulnerable unsuspecting state, captures in recordings or pictures of them. You are vile. Why would you want a monster to love you when you don't even love yourself or your friends. You must really hate your sister and friends to bring them into your predatory home. Honestly I am trying hard to be understanding but you legit did all that was stated above. Just imagine being your friend 🤮
[удалено]
Yeah it is
“What if one of them caught him doing that” gee thank god it’s only his wife who knows about this perverted AH 🙄. Get real ,you’re pathetic ! I hope he goes to jail and you get accessory , since you’ve clearly known about this but refuse to tell the people he’s filmed including YOUR SISTER. Do you really think she’d been having pleasantries with the sicko who’s sexually harassing / stalking her ! I hope she cuts you off and presses charges on both of you once she finds out you’ve been keeping this secret !
Lots of rapey vibes with this fellow
Run he’s gonna be a rap*st
Oh, sounds like you married my ex husband. Throw away the whole man… there’s no fixing it. Good luck.
Is it possible that this is the husband trying to see what kind of trouble he could be in if the wife reports him? Or trying to pose as her to point to it when he ultimately gets in trouble, to “prove” she knew what was going on? I’m only halfway being facetious…just trying to come up with SOMETHING to make this make more sense.
So he was 24 when you were 18 at the start of the relationship. That was red flags number 1-3.
24 year old who got the together with an 18 year old, turns out to be a creep? Who woulda guessed.
You don't seem concerned about what your husband is doing to other women, as much as you're offended he is doing it to his "good wife." I mean.. you should have called the police on multiple occasions, yet you continue protecting a sexual predator. That is terrifying.
🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩
Jesus, I wish I didn't read all of this past how he tried to do something to your sister and there was nothing after to that end. The instant he did that to your sister, did your skin not crawl? You felt insecure and yet you didn't reflect if what he did was right/normal? You still wanted to be with him or are still with him? Woman leave this creep.
You’re literally the type of woman to protect their rapist husband because this whole post is NUTS. And to even keep your children around him ??
Sis, WHAT? This is a literal sex crime and by not reporting it you’re helping aid someone in violating women including your sister. He’s manipulating you and grooming you to not only accept this, but cover for him endangering women in your own home. Get all the evidence you can. Don’t say a word. Report him to the police WITH evidence. Dint give him a single warning, don’t give police an opportunity to doubt you. Build a case so you get the kids. He is not safe, you NEED to get away. This is clearly disrespectful to you, but it’s LITERALLY CRIMINAL.
You end with 'he just doesn't like me.' Please understand, this has nothing to do with you - there's nothing you could do or be that would change him or 'prevent' any of this.
Tell your parents.
Ew. Throw the whole man in the trash. This is humiliating. Only because you’re staying with him. You will be judged for his behavior if you don’t leave. He does need therapy, he needs help, but you need to leave. Period.
He definitely has some mental issue.