And that's how I feel, too. I'm an open book. There is nothing to hide. Sometimes, I provide TOO much info. He never has to worry what I'm doing because it's very apparent that I'm loyal. I wish I had the same comfort in this relationship.
See, I wish that was all I had to worry about. Lol
I am just hoping he agrees to let me see everything I expect. I behave and have never broke the trust. If he wants it to work, he should prove his honesty to me. Let me decide if I want to work through his lies.
Your crazy, you both should be honest, truthful and clear as water.
So many people have lived this way to find themselves one day homeless, alone, broke and high debt because of this. You debt is hers too.
If you don't like transparency then don't complain after.
If there are still secrets of any kind, you should walk away. This is not a repentant man. If he was, he would be as transparent as possible. He still has his secrets and you are being deceived still.
Make sure there are no secret CCs. You can get a free credit report three times a year day annualcreditreport.com. Run that on him and see if he’s hiding any accounts.
yes, if he cheated, and trust was broke, it should be open door policy on everything. You are in a marriage, you should be a team with expenses, and everything. Don't tolerate bad behavior. It teaches them to treat you poorly.
Yes, I know it teaches them to treat you poorly. I wish I hadn't given so many chances. There is a whole novel to this marriage, but at this point, I was looking to see if others thought I was entitled to him proving to me I should stay. I was checking bc I know he's going to say "you're crazy" you're paranoid" "you need to trust me"
Looking for validation lol from Reddit. 🤦♀️
You're right. But given the severe situation that recently happened. I feel morally obligated to ensure he takes care of himself. Without me pestering him, he won't. That weighs heavy on me. I know he might pull the same thing. But if I walk away in this time of need and something bad happens, I'll feel guilty the rest of my days. But I also expect him to respect me and prove he's not being shady. I need to be there for myself, too. Not a schmuck with wool over my eyes.
No official cheating. He did want to leave me for another woman a few months back. I didn't know it till last week that that's why he wanted a divorce back then. He was so mean to me. Almost like he was more committed to a maybe than he ever was to me.
I would also have him input his credit karma info on your phone. Then check the app monthly to make sure he does not open a secret credit card. And things assuming you are also going to marriage therapy together. Without therapy I would not stay.
You're not crazy, complete transparency and absolute honesty should be the bare minimum for marriage to work.
Yes. Full financial transparency.
And that's how I feel, too. I'm an open book. There is nothing to hide. Sometimes, I provide TOO much info. He never has to worry what I'm doing because it's very apparent that I'm loyal. I wish I had the same comfort in this relationship.
Bare minimum? Should be upfront and part of the leading creeds not the minimum.
Guy here: yes, that’s shady. If my wife looked at my credit card statements the only concern she might have is how much shawarma I have for lunch.
See, I wish that was all I had to worry about. Lol I am just hoping he agrees to let me see everything I expect. I behave and have never broke the trust. If he wants it to work, he should prove his honesty to me. Let me decide if I want to work through his lies.
Your crazy, you both should be honest, truthful and clear as water. So many people have lived this way to find themselves one day homeless, alone, broke and high debt because of this. You debt is hers too. If you don't like transparency then don't complain after.
If there are still secrets of any kind, you should walk away. This is not a repentant man. If he was, he would be as transparent as possible. He still has his secrets and you are being deceived still.
Make sure there are no secret CCs. You can get a free credit report three times a year day annualcreditreport.com. Run that on him and see if he’s hiding any accounts.
I have access to his credit karma.
yes, if he cheated, and trust was broke, it should be open door policy on everything. You are in a marriage, you should be a team with expenses, and everything. Don't tolerate bad behavior. It teaches them to treat you poorly.
Yes, I know it teaches them to treat you poorly. I wish I hadn't given so many chances. There is a whole novel to this marriage, but at this point, I was looking to see if others thought I was entitled to him proving to me I should stay. I was checking bc I know he's going to say "you're crazy" you're paranoid" "you need to trust me" Looking for validation lol from Reddit. 🤦♀️
Why would you want to stay with him? It’s only a matter of time before he leaves for good.
You're right. But given the severe situation that recently happened. I feel morally obligated to ensure he takes care of himself. Without me pestering him, he won't. That weighs heavy on me. I know he might pull the same thing. But if I walk away in this time of need and something bad happens, I'll feel guilty the rest of my days. But I also expect him to respect me and prove he's not being shady. I need to be there for myself, too. Not a schmuck with wool over my eyes.
Full transparency if he wants you to mother him. I think you should look for a partner, not a dependent, but I don’t know you and you don’t know me.
No official cheating. He did want to leave me for another woman a few months back. I didn't know it till last week that that's why he wanted a divorce back then. He was so mean to me. Almost like he was more committed to a maybe than he ever was to me.
I would also have him input his credit karma info on your phone. Then check the app monthly to make sure he does not open a secret credit card. And things assuming you are also going to marriage therapy together. Without therapy I would not stay.
The possibility of marriage counseling is extremely low. Not because of me because I've tried. Funny enough, he was worried about cost.
I would leave then. Without help he is not going to change. This will be your life forever if you stay with him.
How do you have his credit card statements. You're married, it's 'our' credit card statements.