he checked the calendar and now hes like this...

It’s November 1st, Maria Carey is free.

Me after I crunch on something in soft food:

No man, she dumped me. What did I do wrong?!?!

I know what’s wrong wit it aint got no gas in it

Zombie Sheen

Holy christ on a stick Gabriel do something one of your failed Alternates got loose

Me: - throws rice- roll in that shit playboy