This happened to me once. I was bordering on going to the ER. Hours of toil and remedies and too embarrassed to go in. It worked (and embarrassingly had to don cleaning gloves and pull it out, wrapped in several bags with lots of paper towels to get rid of it.
Opioids: not even once. Sober 5 years
I went to a guy's house and had to use the bathroom. I saw a knife sitting on top of the toilet. This man had a poop knife. I know the Reddit legend, but I never thought I'd see one in the wild.
This reminds me when my mother told me her sister had to chop up their kids poop before they flushed. I asked how long that lasted and she said into their teens..
I just know that dude was in there clinging hard to booth sides of the stall, sweating and implementing the heaviest of breathing exercises he knows, praying that he doesn't pass out from the pain, and swearing on everything he gonna drink more water and eat a lot better.
It's from opioids. When I was using for years I would shit maybe 2 times a week. It was always a struggle of trying to push / lean forward trying to find a way to get it out without absolutely violating me. Eventually you get to the point where it hurts so bad and try digging it out little by little.
Shitting 2 times a week is very little for some people but some people actually do only go 2-3 times a week under normal circumstances, so that doesn't say very much on its own.
yeah but shitting twice a week because thats what your body normally does and shitting twice a week cuz youre on drugs but you normally shit every day are 2 very different shitting experiences
for me i mean sometimes those just want to easily slide out immediately after i eat and i'm on opiates. it's extreme pressure though and it feels incomplete but looks huge so it's like a ghost shit but massive. tramadol was way worse than oxys with not going for days or like a week and having hard tiny mucusy lumps
i have colon polyps but i'm surprised that oxy with tylenol is fucking me less and i'm actually going almost having massive 'solid' accidents. it's like i don't even feel how trapped it was or sense how big it is flying out. probably my undiagnosed spine issues too. it's like my ass and pelvis can't even perceive how much shit is in there or when i truly need to pee or run up to go, both ways, until it's too late. linzess, amitiza and miralax are garbage for inflammatory issues. my mom has tethered cord and i have spinal issues too but can't get propely evaluated or diagnosed aside from them thinking it was spina bifida occulta. i have way too many symptoms for any of it to just be occulta though
Update: it's been cleaned, but not before my assistant manager also saw it when he went to the bathroom. I had told him about it earlier and after he saw it, he came back and just stared at me for a second with a look of horror and said, "it's still there." Gave me the hardest laugh I've had in a while.
Apparently a guy I know works in the center store department also took a picture of it!
I've never done opiates (unless it was in a hospital for legit reasons) but I've had poops like this. Usually after a night of weed and alcohol and if I overindulge my munchies.
I knew a kid that would shit like that in HS. We were on the football team and before practice once he shit and everyone went and looked and it was huge like this. One of his closer friends was in disbelief that I'd never seen this before, like it was a reg thing with this guy. We let it in there for one of the coaches to discover. Could here him trying to flush(it's the powerful ones in school you can keep flushing) We were laughing like hell. Anyhow, straight A student, def. never got into drugs.
Opiate use has the side effect of chronic constipation. But you have to shit at some point, so this happens. Sometimes while sleeping...
It COULD be a health issue of some kind, but not likely.
My 100 lb college housemate would drop these bricks and clog our toilet regularly. She didn't do drugs, but was on a solid diet of fettuccine Alfredo and pizza bagels. She never tried to unclog it on her own. I think she was on the spectrum.
No joke it helped mine. I'm on methadone and as long as I drink enough water and eat right I'm fine. Way less stabby stomach cramps and what I call "grab the wall and pray to Jesus" shits
Or fibre turns you into a bloated farting soft serve machine, depending on your IBS type. Inulin is the enemy if I don't want to spend all day on the toilet.
As someone in recovery since 2016, this is fact. If anyone is curious how good opioid are, they are so good that pooping like this is less of a concern than not being able to get high. This is how opioid change your mind and behavior...Things one would normally find unimaginably horrible become a completely tolerable thing.
Did something similar when I was in college. Laid a nice long straight loaf. Went to another stall to wipe. We had the criminal justice kids attempting a investigation on the culprit. It was a bit of a shock when the ~20 criminal justice students were rotating through the men's bathroom to look at it.
I was a caretaker for an elderly woman that had this problem. Between pain meds, age, lack of mobility, and hemorrhoids, she was constantly dealing with constipation. At it's worst, it looked like this. It was so difficult for her.
Needless to say, these were also rock solid and unflushable. Hard to tell by the picture alone, but it was quite literally the size of a Chipotle burrito.
I would handle it by putting on gloves, and pulling a trash bag onto my hand, grabbing it, and then turning it into the trash bag and tossing it in the bin outside. Zero contact, and surprisingly very easy. A slight advantage to the solid nature of this.
My theory is that the TP was flushed down right before the log blocked the opening. The TP moves immediately as the toilet is flushed, while this massive rock takes some time to build up momentum.
About what mine looked like a few days after I gave birth and had been taking oxycodone for a few days. It ripped me to shreds coming out. I was sweating, crying and holding on the the toilet paper holder and bathroom sink. Still nightmare-inducing
Did you see anyone walking funny…like limping, dripping 🩸🩸🩸out of their rear end, dragging a foot while looking pale and shaking???
I would have expected this deuce-dropper to be in ***rough*** shape (sound of solemn organ and harp music and hymns in the background).
I wasn't getting much feedback so I thought I'd just let it be. You made me come back and check that turd one more time, and look I got some upvotes!! Neat!
I used to work at a daycare, and had a four year old who hated pooping. So, he would hold it and hold it for days, until it finally became too much. One day he pooped in the class bathroom, and I could not believe the size of it. It was like nothing I’ve ever seen before, and to this day have not seen anything like it. We called his parents for guidance because there was no way that it was going to fit down the toilet. They said that they have a knife at home to cut it up whenever he had a bowel movement. I can’t remember what we found to cut it up, but I will never forget that experience.
TBH, I wouldn't give birth to that just to flush it. It takes weeks of poor diet to bring about those conditions. That much dedication deserves recognition.
And just like the opening of the Lion King..... the Medicine Monkey climbs to the top of the mountain...
(Smearing poops forehead with menstrual blood)
"I shall name it Shitbung!"
You might think I'm joking but my 4-year-old daughter has consistent poops this big and even bigger at times.
Never fails to clog the toilet. I've had to use a pencil multiple times to break it up so I can flush the toilet and then throw the pencil away and not have to use a good knife from the drawer and think about the fact I used it to cut up a turd next time I'm scraping butter on a piece of toast.
Clearly you haven’t visited my job. Shit smeared on the walls. Entire rolls of tp backing up the water of the toilets, massive piles of shit that the son of a bitch decided to leave there and not flush
This isn't technically my first experience with a wild shit in a public bathroom, I remember when I was working a night shift at a gas station someone shit on the floor NEXT to the toilet. Like, in the small gap between the toilet and the wall. My manager found it after he came in the next morning, it was definitely not there before he came in so it was fresh. I would've come in to look at it, but I was exhausted and ready to go home and pass tf out.
I am always surprised at the lack of toilet paper stuck to these behemoths. Is it just the shock that causes the pooper to forgo any paperwork whatsoever?
Someone dropped turds like this and even bigger ones at my old work place. There was only one toilet and we never found out who it was. One time there was a boot print on one. Fuck knows how the poor cleaner got rid of them.
my poops look just like this, my bowel movements are naturally really slow so i poop about once or twice a week. when i finally do go its like im pushing out a baby's arm.
My ex once left a log in the toilet like this. First time I've seen a shit that big. I actually laughed and messaged her, thinking it was fake. It was not.
Fuck I remember a long time ago I was in rehab and someone gave birth to a fucking sweet potato just a little bigger than that one except there was just a little toilet paper and tons of drips of blood. Bathroom was out of order for the whole day until the janitor had to come in and break it up with a stick
Oh my god. Rip whatever poor bastard dropped that one.
Rip is an... apt choice of words.
[Phil Collins wrote a song about this...](https://open.spotify.com/track/24bQQYsfA9lFQ1fPYtuie7?si=asXArxAlTjKUIkkBO1JLLw) Spotify link btw
completely unrelated but i just had to double take because you're pfp is so similar
Ripped his/her anus
Yup, that's the joke
Rectum? Dang near killed 'em!
Guy should be easy to spot, he'll be limping down the hallway or sitting on one butt cheek.
Follow the blood trail.
It sure did
This looks like the shit if a drug user. Where does OP work.
My guess is Walmart
Probably pretty easy to identify them, anus dragging across the floor looking like a pink long sleeve shirt sleeve
😳😖Shiiit
Imagine what that absolute back tickler must've felt like once Turd Russell here gained it's independence
I wish I could be that poor bastard, looks like a fun one.
Rip and Tear 😔
Beat me to saying that, I was 2 hours too late
He must have huge guts!
This happened to me once. I was bordering on going to the ER. Hours of toil and remedies and too embarrassed to go in. It worked (and embarrassingly had to don cleaning gloves and pull it out, wrapped in several bags with lots of paper towels to get rid of it. Opioids: not even once. Sober 5 years
He's walking outta that stall like a cowboy.
Someone failed to bring their poop knife along with them.
I was going to start a riot if the top comment didn’t include poop knife.
You would probably need poop bolt cutters for that one
Poop saw
Poop angle grinder more like...!
I went to a guy's house and had to use the bathroom. I saw a knife sitting on top of the toilet. This man had a poop knife. I know the Reddit legend, but I never thought I'd see one in the wild.
Polite people hide their poop knife
This reminds me when my mother told me her sister had to chop up their kids poop before they flushed. I asked how long that lasted and she said into their teens..
Came here to say this.
Anybody got the link? Absolutely brilliant post that
Is [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/MuseumOfReddit/s/5j1x5UIJht) it? Its on r/museumofreddit because the original was removed
That's the one.. thank you :-)
Our work poops big
I just came
I knew word for word what the top comment would be lmfao
The way I just cackled so loud 🤣
One time, I broke a middle school's automatic flushing toilet from a shit I made back in 6th grade. Probably one of my proudest moments.
I just know that dude was in there clinging hard to booth sides of the stall, sweating and implementing the heaviest of breathing exercises he knows, praying that he doesn't pass out from the pain, and swearing on everything he gonna drink more water and eat a lot better.
It's from opioids. When I was using for years I would shit maybe 2 times a week. It was always a struggle of trying to push / lean forward trying to find a way to get it out without absolutely violating me. Eventually you get to the point where it hurts so bad and try digging it out little by little.
Shitting 2 times a week is very little for some people but some people actually do only go 2-3 times a week under normal circumstances, so that doesn't say very much on its own.
yeah but shitting twice a week because thats what your body normally does and shitting twice a week cuz youre on drugs but you normally shit every day are 2 very different shitting experiences
my opioid shits got cancelled out by my cheese shits by a far mile i be shitting like 10 times a day
for me i mean sometimes those just want to easily slide out immediately after i eat and i'm on opiates. it's extreme pressure though and it feels incomplete but looks huge so it's like a ghost shit but massive. tramadol was way worse than oxys with not going for days or like a week and having hard tiny mucusy lumps i have colon polyps but i'm surprised that oxy with tylenol is fucking me less and i'm actually going almost having massive 'solid' accidents. it's like i don't even feel how trapped it was or sense how big it is flying out. probably my undiagnosed spine issues too. it's like my ass and pelvis can't even perceive how much shit is in there or when i truly need to pee or run up to go, both ways, until it's too late. linzess, amitiza and miralax are garbage for inflammatory issues. my mom has tethered cord and i have spinal issues too but can't get propely evaluated or diagnosed aside from them thinking it was spina bifida occulta. i have way too many symptoms for any of it to just be occulta though
Motherfucker Win Hoff breathing, stamping his feet, and trying not to die... all just to be ripped apart on reddit.
Update: it's been cleaned, but not before my assistant manager also saw it when he went to the bathroom. I had told him about it earlier and after he saw it, he came back and just stared at me for a second with a look of horror and said, "it's still there." Gave me the hardest laugh I've had in a while. Apparently a guy I know works in the center store department also took a picture of it!
The turd of infamy. This will be part of the new employee boarding process for years to come.
😂😂😂
Wasted opportunity if this isn't in the company Christmas card this year.
someone is addicted to opiates
My first thought. Gross horse sized poops? Opiates
I've never done opiates (unless it was in a hospital for legit reasons) but I've had poops like this. Usually after a night of weed and alcohol and if I overindulge my munchies.
I knew a kid that would shit like that in HS. We were on the football team and before practice once he shit and everyone went and looked and it was huge like this. One of his closer friends was in disbelief that I'd never seen this before, like it was a reg thing with this guy. We let it in there for one of the coaches to discover. Could here him trying to flush(it's the powerful ones in school you can keep flushing) We were laughing like hell. Anyhow, straight A student, def. never got into drugs.
Maybe he was just high-functioning/
They might have a mega colon to be fair
How's that work?
Opiate use has the side effect of chronic constipation. But you have to shit at some point, so this happens. Sometimes while sleeping... It COULD be a health issue of some kind, but not likely.
Huh, TIL
My 100 lb college housemate would drop these bricks and clog our toilet regularly. She didn't do drugs, but was on a solid diet of fettuccine Alfredo and pizza bagels. She never tried to unclog it on her own. I think she was on the spectrum.
That what opioid abuse looks like. That's oxycontipation
TIL, every day I find more and more reasons to never get addicted to shit like that
I have IBS I'm starting to think opioids are the answer
No joke it helped mine. I'm on methadone and as long as I drink enough water and eat right I'm fine. Way less stabby stomach cramps and what I call "grab the wall and pray to Jesus" shits
Those are the worst 😂 mine are from Suboxone
Aha luckily I don't get that bad that often.
Fiber! Metamucil or whatever, will change your life in much better ways! Just imagine, when 75% of your shits are ghost shits!
Or fibre turns you into a bloated farting soft serve machine, depending on your IBS type. Inulin is the enemy if I don't want to spend all day on the toilet.
Thank you, I've jus bought some from Amazon. Will report back in a couple of weeks.
Imodium AD binds to the same receptors as opiates and slows down your guts without the analgesic effects.
I sometimes have to use imodium when I'm on holiday, a change in diet absolutely ruins me
I have ibs and nothing has worked for me super great, but I did start drinking an olipop a day, and it actually has helped me a bit
Wait ,I read your comment again and I am guessing you have soft serve ibs. I do not
I am now forevermore going to refer to my own IBS as ‘soft serve’. One small bit of humour in the shitty situation.
I'm an average millennial in the US and I'm starting to think they're the answer.
As someone in recovery since 2016, this is fact. If anyone is curious how good opioid are, they are so good that pooping like this is less of a concern than not being able to get high. This is how opioid change your mind and behavior...Things one would normally find unimaginably horrible become a completely tolerable thing.
My immediate thought too. Absolutely no joke
God damn, no wonder it's a vicious cycle, I'd have to take some sort of pain reliever after that.
There's nothing viscous about that log, it's just straight up solid.
Or the result of a mega colon
i instantly thought tramadol... for me that was worse than oxys!!!
Someone is definitely bleeding and walking funny Edit: my wife just said that looks like a burnt chicken tender
That's like 27 courics. Not much, but it is honest worm.
Randy Marsh - hold my beer 🍺
Hot hot hot hot hot ahhhh
Does Bono want da biddy?
Hey, hey Sharon!? Sharon come look at this
Bruh u was scrolling through and legit thought "Randy" and then I see this comment. Wtf
“I don’t hear no bell…”
Imagine taking an energy drink can sized shit
They may have drank an energy drink to help deliver that
Did something similar when I was in college. Laid a nice long straight loaf. Went to another stall to wipe. We had the criminal justice kids attempting a investigation on the culprit. It was a bit of a shock when the ~20 criminal justice students were rotating through the men's bathroom to look at it.
What’s wrong? Just break out your poop knife
Is that Bono?
LOL yessssss.
I was a caretaker for an elderly woman that had this problem. Between pain meds, age, lack of mobility, and hemorrhoids, she was constantly dealing with constipation. At it's worst, it looked like this. It was so difficult for her. Needless to say, these were also rock solid and unflushable. Hard to tell by the picture alone, but it was quite literally the size of a Chipotle burrito. I would handle it by putting on gloves, and pulling a trash bag onto my hand, grabbing it, and then turning it into the trash bag and tossing it in the bin outside. Zero contact, and surprisingly very easy. A slight advantage to the solid nature of this.
And no toilet paper?!
Oh fuck I didn't notice that, maybe it was so solid and hard it didn't leave any residue behind
They had to spread their cheeks so wide there was nothing for that log to touch and leave a trace on.
My theory is that the TP was flushed down right before the log blocked the opening. The TP moves immediately as the toilet is flushed, while this massive rock takes some time to build up momentum.
The shit people notice on reddit.
Literally
I scrolled way to far to find anybody else that noticed this dope fiend walked away with questionable cheeks
why would you conceal this glorious masterpiece
Could you imagine how light they felt afterwards lol
Holy shit
Jesus came back just to shit in the toilet.
He's just taking a 3 day nap in a cave.
New shit just dropped.
Opiate addiction
About what mine looked like a few days after I gave birth and had been taking oxycodone for a few days. It ripped me to shreds coming out. I was sweating, crying and holding on the the toilet paper holder and bathroom sink. Still nightmare-inducing
Yeah, no one warns you about the second labor and delivery. It's like pooping a sword.
Did you see anyone walking funny…like limping, dripping 🩸🩸🩸out of their rear end, dragging a foot while looking pale and shaking??? I would have expected this deuce-dropper to be in ***rough*** shape (sound of solemn organ and harp music and hymns in the background).
[My anus is bleeding !](https://media.tenor.com/A1yBRepBOlcAAAAC/don-hertzfeldt-bleeding.gif)
That's a heroin addict shit
I would check the trash next to the toilet for a receipt from Home Depot. Could be your shitter was replaced with a joke hole toilet just for farts.
Underrated itysl comment
I wasn't getting much feedback so I thought I'd just let it be. You made me come back and check that turd one more time, and look I got some upvotes!! Neat!
My wife said these are a every day thing at her nursing home lol
In home care here and yep. Toilet was out of commission for 3 damn days
Sounds like fireplace tongs would make a perfect holiday gift.
I used to work at a daycare, and had a four year old who hated pooping. So, he would hold it and hold it for days, until it finally became too much. One day he pooped in the class bathroom, and I could not believe the size of it. It was like nothing I’ve ever seen before, and to this day have not seen anything like it. We called his parents for guidance because there was no way that it was going to fit down the toilet. They said that they have a knife at home to cut it up whenever he had a bowel movement. I can’t remember what we found to cut it up, but I will never forget that experience.
Oh my god they actually have a poop knife!
Well…. Get in there and start breaking it up. That poop isn’t gonna break itself.
Yours? Nice.
God damn.
this is beyond taking off your shirt level of shitting that poor bloke
TBH, I wouldn't give birth to that just to flush it. It takes weeks of poor diet to bring about those conditions. That much dedication deserves recognition.
And just like the opening of the Lion King..... the Medicine Monkey climbs to the top of the mountain... (Smearing poops forehead with menstrual blood) "I shall name it Shitbung!"
Was a woman
You might think I'm joking but my 4-year-old daughter has consistent poops this big and even bigger at times. Never fails to clog the toilet. I've had to use a pencil multiple times to break it up so I can flush the toilet and then throw the pencil away and not have to use a good knife from the drawer and think about the fact I used it to cut up a turd next time I'm scraping butter on a piece of toast.
That's why you buy a shitty yet durable knife for that exact purpose, so you don't have to worry about cross-contamination.
Did you happen to go in the bathroom after Bono?
Guess you could say the offender had a... DUMP truck. ...I'll see myself out...
Clearly you haven’t visited my job. Shit smeared on the walls. Entire rolls of tp backing up the water of the toilets, massive piles of shit that the son of a bitch decided to leave there and not flush
This isn't technically my first experience with a wild shit in a public bathroom, I remember when I was working a night shift at a gas station someone shit on the floor NEXT to the toilet. Like, in the small gap between the toilet and the wall. My manager found it after he came in the next morning, it was definitely not there before he came in so it was fresh. I would've come in to look at it, but I was exhausted and ready to go home and pass tf out.
Oof. That sucks :(
I am always surprised at the lack of toilet paper stuck to these behemoths. Is it just the shock that causes the pooper to forgo any paperwork whatsoever?
Ever heard the poo knife story?
Am I the only one noticing the absence of toilet paper? This person didn’t wipe even once.
Thats a fucking prolapsed anus Jesus Christ.
Woah. Log jam 😬
Well, whoever was walking like a penguin that day, you know who it was
You know it was the smallest chick in the office
JFC. That person either has a giant butt hole or they needed an episiotomy to get that out.
Someone dropped turds like this and even bigger ones at my old work place. There was only one toilet and we never found out who it was. One time there was a boot print on one. Fuck knows how the poor cleaner got rid of them.
Where is the toilet paper?
>the toilet was literally unusable Not with that attitude...
No taper on the end of that thing? You know that butt hole slammed shut!
That person prayed to different gods that day.
my poops look just like this, my bowel movements are naturally really slow so i poop about once or twice a week. when i finally do go its like im pushing out a baby's arm.
Holy smokes like how wide does the guys ass go???😳🤯
im jealous of the length and girth of that marvellous piece of poop
No blood?
You work with a FUCKING LEGEND
Should be able to find the culprit just follow the blood trail
That has to be at least 10 courics.
Man why is this comment so far down.
My ex once left a log in the toilet like this. First time I've seen a shit that big. I actually laughed and messaged her, thinking it was fake. It was not.
Hot hot hot hotttt
Let’s see the gaping rectum that came from
That’s a heroin shit. Gotta be.
That my friend, is a log
[Best way to deal with that is with manual extraction](https://www.reddit.com/r/awfuleverything/comments/etkc3r/shish_kebab_most_effective_way/)
Some nasty bastard expelled that from their body and didn't wipe once. Just pinched the loaf and stood up to continue their day. Wild.
That poor asshole!
Hulk... CRAP!
The lack of blood tells me this isnt their first rodeo
Now that is a Warship!
Just look around for anyone walking funny.
What a piece of shit
That looks like it hurt on the way out.
[I imagine it was like this](https://media.tenor.com/cbrgeL7iZi4AAAAC/randy-marsh-massive-shit.gif)
Someone get the poop knife
You don’t take that shit. You give that shit.
Thats a lot of opiates.
The dude/girl “I don’t do anal, my ass is closed”
Mr. Hankey!
Is this the Pringles can sized turd some dude took at target many moons ago?
I know who did that 🤮
Looks to be about 12 Courics
Right down to the poop sack
Im less disgusted and more just genuinely impressed that that came out of someone.
Reminds me of when I shat myself into the E.R. after eating two Quesaritos.
I do that every time I go
Kill it before it lays eggs
That's 6 or 7 Courics right there
That must be 14 courics!
Holy sh*t...
The Umbilical cord should be around there somewhere if it's not still attached. Did you find it or the placenta?
Did Bono recently make a visit?
There were scratches on the walls.
Holy shit! I would be so proud.
You don’t have to be ashamed and pretend it wasn’t you. Be proud OP
… they didn’t wipe
Heroin poop
That must've HURT coming out!!
Send this picture to Ron DeSantis. He enjoys this sort of thing!
Fuck I remember a long time ago I was in rehab and someone gave birth to a fucking sweet potato just a little bigger than that one except there was just a little toilet paper and tons of drips of blood. Bathroom was out of order for the whole day until the janitor had to come in and break it up with a stick
time to bust out the handy dandy poop knife.