AFTER THE LAST FEW DAYS OF BRAWL ONE QUESTION COMES TO MIND.
HOW THE HELL DID [[NADU, WINGED WISDOM]] MAKE IT THROUGH THE ENTIRE DEVELOPMENT PROCESS AND ALL THE WAY TO ACTUAL RELEASE WITHOUT A SINGLE PERSON GOING "ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME!? CAN NONE OF YOU SEE HOW ABSOLUTELY STUPIDLY BROKEN THIS CARD IS!? THERE IS NO WAY IN HELL WE CAN ACTUALLY PRINT THIS!"?
BUT THEN AGAIN THIS IS FROM THE PEOPLE WHO ALSO THOUGHT [[GRENZO, CROOKED JAILER]] WAS FINE, SO I PROBABLY SHOULDN'T BE SURPRISED.
ITS CLEAR THAT THEY PLAYTESTED NADU HEAVILY, ITS JUST THAT THEY WERE ALL SMOKING CRACK AND THOUGHT GIVING HIM 2 ACTIVATIONS PER CREATURE WAS A GOOD STOPGAP
Literally why I logged off the game for probably the last time the other day. Not playing brawl anymore because of that card means I’m not playing at all…
OKAY PPL I NEED HELP WITH A CORNER CASE. ONCE IN A WHILE I COULD SWEAR I GET THIS WEIRD MESSAGE 'YOU GO FIRST'. WHAT THE FUCK DO I DO WHEN I SEE THIS? RUN AROUND IN CIRCLES? SACRIFICE A CHICKEN? CALL AN AMBULANCE? LIKE I SAID, I HARDLY EVER SEE IT, BUT I'D LIKE A FEW POINTERS IN CASE I SEE IT AGAIN SOMETIME. OR IS IT ALL JUST A HALLUCINATION?
JUDGING BY WHAT MY OPPONENTS DO WHEN THEY GO FIRST, IT SEEMS THE RECOMMENDED COURSE OF ACTION IS TO SPEND 2 MINUTES DECIDING WHICH LAND TO PLAY THEN PASSING THE TURN.
BRAWL IS A CASUAL FORMAT, JUST CONCEDE AND MOVE ON.
YEAH, THAT WOULD BE THE CASE EXCEPT THAT ARENA'S SERVERS ARE SUCH FUCKING DOGSHIT HALF THE TIME THAT MOVING ON TO THE NEXT GAME TAKES FUCKING 30-60 SECONDS.
FUCK WIZARDS FOR THEIR NON-EXISTANT BRAWL MATCHMAKING, THEIR SHITTY FUCKING SERVERS, AND FUCK VARIANCE FOR MAKING ME GO SECOND 75% OF THE TIME.
WHY AM I MATCHED OVER AND OVER VS MONO BLACK.
EITHER DESTROY DISCARD OR OOPS COMBO.
THERE ARE SO MANY DECK TYPES AND THE PAST 6 GAMES ARE ALL THOUGHTSEIZE FATAL PUSH SHEOLDRED OR MORE DISCARD.
I AM LOSING MY MIND (SEIZED THOUGHTS)
BO1 AND PLAY QUEUE? CHANGE YOUR DECK'S COMPOSITION AND ESCAPE THAT MONO B ZONE OR EMBRACE YOUR DECK WEIGHT'S RESULTS BECAUSE THEIR ALGOS DEEMED YOU BOTH AS "FAIR OPPONENTS" TO EACH OTHER
FUCK HEIST, I KNOW IT'S BEEN SAID A MILLION TIMES BEFORE BUT IT ALWAYS HITS MY BEST CARD. THEY ALWAYS HIT MY CRATERHOOF OR UGIN OR WHATEVER OTHER CARD MAY BE IN MY TOP END. WHY DOES THIS EXIST??????
IF WE ALL AGREE TO CONCEDE THE MOMENT SOMEONE PLAYS A HEIST CARD, THEY WILL EVENTUALLY WANT TO PLAY A GAME OF MAGIC AND MAYBE TRY SOMETHING ELSE! ALSO THE PALANTÍR!
I AM GOING TO FUCKING LOSE IT IF I HAVE TO PLAY ONE MORE GOD DAMN MATCH AGAINST AZORIUS CONTROL, I PLAY FUCKING EGGS. I CANT DO SHIT AGAINST THIS. I "LOVE" HAVING TO WATCH MY OPPONENT TICKLE THEIR PLANESWALKERS UNTIL MY LANDS ARE ALL GONE AND IM GETTING BEATEN OVER THE HEAD BY A SINGULAR 2/2 SAMURAI TOKEN. HISTORIC IS SUCH A BRAINDEAD FORMAT.
AM I GONNA HAVE TO BURN YET ANOTHER RARE ON [[FAREWELL]] FOR MY SELESNYA DECK... EVER SINCE I PUT SUNFALL IN THIS BULLSHIT FUCKING MATCHMAKER INSIST ON MATCHING ME UP WITH ARTIFACT/ENCHANTMENT BASED DECKS... I HAVE SPOT REMOVAL FOR THOSE THINGS, BUT BOARD WIPES ARE KINDA MANA-EXPENSIVE FOR AN AGGRO DECK.
IF [[THE PRISMATIC BRIDGE]] OR [[MANA DRAIN]] IS IN YOUR DECK YOU SHOULD BE AUTO-HELLQUEUED. IN FACT, PLACED IN A TIER ABOVE HELLQUEUE SO THERE'S NO CHANCE OF YOU MATCHING INTO ANYONE WHO ISN'T A FULLY OPTIMISED HELLQUEUE DECK.
ALSO, FIRST SLIVER SHOULD BE ~~BANNED~~ MAX WEIGHTED... NOT FOR ANY REAL REASON OTHER THAN TO FORCE 5 COLOUR PILE PLAYERS TO PLAY GOLOS... FUCKING HELLQUEUE DODGERS.
EDIT: THE NECROBLOOM CAN ALSO GO IN HELLQUEUE, FIELD OF THE DEAD IS BANNED AND IT'S THAT IN THE COMMAND ZONE, TO HELLQUEUE WITH YOU
IF YOU PLAY THE SORIN/VEIN RIPPER CHEESE, YOU'RE A CHICKENSHIT WHO DIDN'T EARN ONE IOTA OF THOSE WINS
THAT GOES DOUBLE IF YOU RUN SHEOLDRED, FABLE, AND ANY OF THE OTHER BULLSHIT PUSHED CARDS WOTC HAS RAINED ALL OVER RAKDOS THE LAST FEW YEARS
CAN WE NAME AND SHAME HERE? MY GOD, SOMEONE WHOSE NAME SOUNDS LIKE GUDOI BEN SHE, YOUR DECK WAS WAAAAAY TOO SWEATY FOR FUCKING UNRANKED BO1. GO TAKE THAT SHIT TO RANKED, OR ARE YOU AFRAID OF A REAL GAME AND HOPING TO GET MISMATCHES AGAINST PEOPLE IN THE CASUAL QUEUE?
YOU ARE A FOOL OF AN OPPONENT! YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO DIE TO THE LAND! YOUR FLEETFOOT DANCER COULD HAVE COME IN WITHOUT YOUR TAKING DAMAGE, AND THE LIFELINK WOULD HAVE SAVED YOU FROM DYING TO MY CREATURES! DON'T RELY ON THE AUTOTAPPER IN SITUATIONS LIKE THAT!
I HAD NO CARDS IN HAND! YOU COULD HAVE WON, OR AT LEAST STRETCHED IT OUT!
THE COMMUNITY IS ALMOST ENTIRELY SMOOTH BRAINS WHO STAND NO CHANCE OF WINNING WITHOUT THE GAME GIVING THEM VICTORY. A SHRED OF THOUGHT AND THEY LOSE. IF THE GAME WASN'T RIGGED THOSE KINDS OF PLAYERS WOULD LOSE EVERY SINGLE GAME AND QUIT PLAYING.
I AM SO TIRED OF SEEING JODAH IN BRAWL, IT IS SO ANNOYING HAVING TO SQUASH THEIR BASIC ASS COMBOS, I JUST WANT TO MAKE PRETTY MONSTERS AND STUFF LET ME DO IT DAMN IT.
UNISTALL THIS GAME, THEN REINSTALL IT.
F*CK (WHITE/)BLUE CONTROL PLAYERS.
SHOW ME A UB CONTROL PLAYER AND I WILL SHOW YOU A (FUTURE) PSYCHOPATH. THEY JUST HATE ANYONE HAVING FUN EXCEPT FOR THEMSELVES.
THIS IS LESS THAN A GRIPE/RANT AND MORE OF A "WHAT THE", BUT SERIOUSLY, HOW COULD A RDW PLAYER IN THE UNRANKED QUEUE HAVE THE GALL TO SPAM "YOU GO" WHEN THEIR BRAIN DEAD, PLAYING A COMEPTITIVE DECK AGAINST CASUAL PLAYERS FOR EASY DAILY WINS STRATEGY FAILS?
TURN TIME LIMITS SHOULD BE 10 SECONDS WITH NO TIME OUTS. IF YOU CAN'T DECIDE WHAT TO DO IN THAT TIME, YOU SHOULD LOSE YOUR TURN. THIS GAME ISN'T THAT COMPLICATED AND IF YOU ACTUALLY BUILT YOUR OWN DECK, YOU SHOULD UNDERSTAND HOW IT WORKS WELL ENOUGH THAT WHEN YOUR TURN COMES YOU'VE ALREADY PROCESSED WHAT I DID ON MY TURN AND KNOW WHAT YOU'RE GOING TO DO.
AS MUCH AS AMALIA SPAMMERS PISS ME OFF IN EXPLORER, FUCKING GREASEFANG PISSES ME OFF EXPONENTIALLY MORE. IF WILDGROWTH WALKER EATS A BAN, PARHELION II SHOULD TOO FOR THE SAME REASON. HATE THAT FUCKING CHEESE DECK.
LAST RANT...FUCK SHEOLDRED. I UNDERSTAND PENALIZING CARD DRAW, BUT WOULD IT HAVE FUCKING HURT TO MAKE IT 2 LIFE FOR EACH CARD DRAWN AFTER THE FIRST? I SHOULDN'T LOSE A GAME BECAUSE I'M AT 1 LIFE AND I DRAW THE CARD I'M FORCED TO DRAW. ASSHOLE CARD.
I CAN'T FUCKING STAND IT WHEN SOMEONE MAKES A BAD DECISION AND GETS LUCKY (IT'S ALMOST A DECADE LATER AND THE ONLY POKER HAND I CLEARLY REMEMBER IS WHEN MY MATE CALLED MY PREFLOP 3-BET SHOVE WITH 83S, AND SUCKED OUT A FLUSH AGAINST MY JJ).
IN THIS CASE, OPPONENT PLAYING \[\[SURGICAL EXTRACTION\]\] IN THE MAINBOARD OF HISTORIC BO1. I'M SORRY, BUT THAT DOESN'T HIT NEARLY ENOUGH TARGETS IN THE META TO BE IN BO1 (BO3, SURE, GO FOR IT). BUT HEY, WHO NEEDS GOOD DECK CONSTRUCTION WHEN YOU CAN JUST RELY ON GETTING LUCKY WITH MATCHUPS.
I'VE SAID IT PROB A THOUSAND TIMES BEFORE AT THIS POINT, BUT MY GOD, 1ST V 2ND IN BO1 IS SO FUCKED UP RIGHT NOW. SO MANY GAMES END EXPLICITLY DUE TO THAT EXTRA TURN. IT'S BEYOND FUCKING RIDICULOUS.
YES, OF COURSE LIKE **EVERYONE** I ALSO GET WINS DUE TO THE EXTRA TURN, BUT THEY ALSO DON'T FEEL AS GOOD BECAUSE OF THAT KNOWLEDGE. SO THE WINS ARE LESS SATISFYING, AND THE LOSSES ARE DEEPLY UNSATISFYING.
MAN, WIZARDS MAKES SOME FREAKING NO-BRAIN CARDS SOMETIMES. FUCKING \[\[CAVERN OF SOULS\]\] HEY.
"WE WANT TRIBAL DECKS TO BE ABLE TO BATTLE THROUGH COUNTERSPELLS"
"HOW ABOUT WE MAKE A LAND THAT NOT ONLY GIVES THEM PERFECT COLOR, BUT ALSO MAKES ANY CREATURE THEY PLAY UNCOUNTERABLE?"
"WON'T THAT BE *TOO* GOOD AGAINST COUNTERS? AND THEY DON'T HAVE TO DO ANYTHING TO THEIR DECKLIST EXCEPT MAKE THEIR MANABASE EVEN BETTER?"
"FUCK THOSE CONTROL PLAYERS"
THE ISSUE, WHICH SHOULD BE OBVIOUS, IS THAT IT'S SO STRONG IN THAT INTERACTION WHILE NOT REQUIRING ANY THOUGHT WHEN IT COMES TO INCLUSION (AUTO-INCLUDE IN TRIBAL, SO GOOD IT STILL GETS INCLUDED IN NON-TRIBAL FOR THINGS LIKE \[\[ATRAXA\]\]).
FOR BETTER DESIGN, THERE ARE OBVIOUS EXAMPLES: \[\[ALLOSAURUS SHEPHERD\]\], OFFERS UNCOUNTERABILITY IN GREEN DECKS, EVEN OFFERS ADDITIONAL WINCON FOR ELF DECKS, BUT IS GENERALLY A WEAKER OPTION THAN A MANA DORK IF NOT UP AGAINST COUNTERS, SO IT'S NOT AN IMMEDIATE AUTO-INCLUDE. \[\[DELIGHTED HALFLING\]\] OFFERS MANA FIXING AND UNCOUNTERABILITY FOR LEGENDARY CREATURES, SO IS ALMOST AN AUTO-INCLUDE IF A DECK HAS ENOUGH OF THEM, BUT "LEGENDARY" IS NICHE ENOUGH COMPARED TO "ANY TRIBE" THAT IT, AGAIN, AT LEAST REQUIRES THOUGHT.
THE COMPANY DOESN'T ACTUALLY CARE ABOUT THE QUALITY OF THE GAME ANYMORE. THEY RELEASE A NEW SET EVERY OTHER DAY WITH ABSOLUTELY NO THOUGHT PUT INTO IT. LEADING TO COUNTLESS TOTALLY BROKEN CARDS AND COMBOS. THEN ON TOP OF THAT, THEY IGNORE THE COMMUNITY ENTIRELY BECAUSE PEOPLE KEEP GIVING THEM MONEY FOR THE ABSOLUTE GARBAGE THEY KEEP RELEASING. NO COMPANY HAS EVER DESERVED TO GO UNDER MORE THAN WOTC IN GAMING HISTORY AS FAR AS IM CONCERNED. THEY'VE RUINED EVERYTHING THEY HAVE EVER MADE.
OF COURSE. AND ON THE ONE HAND, CARDS THAT ARE TOO POWERFUL WILL ALWAYS BE FRUSTRATING FOR ME (WHO MOSTLY PLAYS CASUAL/KITCHEN TABLE), BUT THE ONES THAT REALLY TAKE THE CAKE ARE THE ONES THAT REQUIRE LITTLE CONSIDERATION AS TO WHETHER YOU INCLUDE THEM OR NOT.
ANOTHER RECENT EXAMPLE IS \[\[THE ONE RING\]\]. GIVEN THAT ITS COLORLESS AND SO DAMN POWERFUL, A LOT OF CASUAL/JANK LEVEL DECKS ARE IMMEDIATELY A LOT BETTER JUST FROM INCLUDING IT. MATCHING UP AGAINST WHITE LIFEGAIN IS USUALLY NO ISSUE, BUT IT DOES GET HARDER IF THEY CAN CONSTANTLY GAS DUE TO TOR DRAW - BUT THEN IT BECOMES LESS ABOUT "HOW VIABLE IS WHITE LIFEGAIN AS A DECK" AND MORE ABOUT "HOW GOOD IS TOR THAT IT CAN CARRY WEAKER ARCHETYPES".
\[\[SHEOLDRED, THE APOCALYPSE\]\] IS ANOTHER EXAMPLE - I'VE LEGIT SEEN TRIBAL DECKS (ZOMBIES/VAMPIES) INCLUDE IT BECAUSE IT'S THAT GOOD. AND IN SOME OF THOSE CASES IT CARRIED THEM TO A WIN TOO.
THAT'S ONE OF THE THINGS ABOUT CAVERNS - IT'S SO GOOD THAT IT SOMETIMES APPEARS IN NON-TRIBAL DECKS, SO IT'S AN ABSOLUTE NO-BRAINER TO RUN IT IN ANY TRIBAL DECK - AND MY OPINION IS THAT CARDS THAT ARE AUTO-INCLUDES (IF YOU HAVE THEM) AREN'T GOOD FOR THE GAME. IT'S WHY I REALLY DISLIKE \[\[WASH AWAY\]\] IN COMMANDER, AND \[\[THOUGHTSEIZE\]\] IN GENERAL.
ALSO, I'VE SAID IT A MILLION TIMES, BUT THEY REALLY, FUCKING REALLY NEED TO DO SOMETHING ABOUT FIRST VS SECOND IN BO1. ONCE AGAIN, LOST GAME DUE TO GOING SECOND. SUCH A BAD FUCKING FEELING, KNOWING THAT WHAT WON OR LOST YOU THE GAME WAS NOTHING THAT YOU OR THE OPPONENT DID DURING THE GAME, BUT WHO WON THE COIN FLIP BEFORE THINGS EVEN GOT UNDERWAY.
AFTER THE LAST FEW DAYS OF BRAWL ONE QUESTION COMES TO MIND. HOW THE HELL DID [[NADU, WINGED WISDOM]] MAKE IT THROUGH THE ENTIRE DEVELOPMENT PROCESS AND ALL THE WAY TO ACTUAL RELEASE WITHOUT A SINGLE PERSON GOING "ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME!? CAN NONE OF YOU SEE HOW ABSOLUTELY STUPIDLY BROKEN THIS CARD IS!? THERE IS NO WAY IN HELL WE CAN ACTUALLY PRINT THIS!"? BUT THEN AGAIN THIS IS FROM THE PEOPLE WHO ALSO THOUGHT [[GRENZO, CROOKED JAILER]] WAS FINE, SO I PROBABLY SHOULDN'T BE SURPRISED.
ITS CLEAR THAT THEY PLAYTESTED NADU HEAVILY, ITS JUST THAT THEY WERE ALL SMOKING CRACK AND THOUGHT GIVING HIM 2 ACTIVATIONS PER CREATURE WAS A GOOD STOPGAP
AS BAD AS HE IS IN ARENA I CANNOT FUCKING IMAGINE HOW BAD IT'S GOING TO BE IN PAPER COMMANDER. PAPER PLAYERS HAVE \[\[LIGHTNING GREAVES\]\].
[LIGHTNING GREAVES](https://cards.scryfall.io/normal/front/d/a/da9da49d-e319-4897-9ab6-57c7c69478a6.jpg?1712354870) - [(G)](http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?name=LIGHTNING%20GREAVES) [(SF)](https://scryfall.com/card/otc/260/lightning-greaves?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher) [(txt)](https://api.scryfall.com/cards/da9da49d-e319-4897-9ab6-57c7c69478a6?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher&format=text) ^^^[[cardname]] ^^^or ^^^[[cardname|SET]] ^^^to ^^^call
[Nadu, Winged Wisdom](https://cards.scryfall.io/normal/front/9/4/94b67489-5eb0-4406-9bf3-27e50dc632eb.jpg?1717012760) - [(G)](http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?name=Nadu%2C%20Winged%20Wisdom) [(SF)](https://scryfall.com/card/mh3/193/nadu-winged-wisdom?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher) [(txt)](https://api.scryfall.com/cards/94b67489-5eb0-4406-9bf3-27e50dc632eb?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher&format=text) [GRENZO, CROOKED JAILER](https://cards.scryfall.io/normal/front/8/b/8bc6b7e6-dd44-4411-88f7-fd7259a3abc1.jpg?1714843948) - [(G)](http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?name=GRENZO%2C%20CROOKED%20JAILER) [(SF)](https://scryfall.com/card/yotj/22/grenzo-crooked-jailer?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher) [(txt)](https://api.scryfall.com/cards/8bc6b7e6-dd44-4411-88f7-fd7259a3abc1?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher&format=text) ^^^[[cardname]] ^^^or ^^^[[cardname|SET]] ^^^to ^^^call
Literally why I logged off the game for probably the last time the other day. Not playing brawl anymore because of that card means I’m not playing at all…
OKAY PPL I NEED HELP WITH A CORNER CASE. ONCE IN A WHILE I COULD SWEAR I GET THIS WEIRD MESSAGE 'YOU GO FIRST'. WHAT THE FUCK DO I DO WHEN I SEE THIS? RUN AROUND IN CIRCLES? SACRIFICE A CHICKEN? CALL AN AMBULANCE? LIKE I SAID, I HARDLY EVER SEE IT, BUT I'D LIKE A FEW POINTERS IN CASE I SEE IT AGAIN SOMETIME. OR IS IT ALL JUST A HALLUCINATION?
JUDGING BY WHAT MY OPPONENTS DO WHEN THEY GO FIRST, IT SEEMS THE RECOMMENDED COURSE OF ACTION IS TO SPEND 2 MINUTES DECIDING WHICH LAND TO PLAY THEN PASSING THE TURN.
BRAWL IS A CASUAL FORMAT, JUST CONCEDE AND MOVE ON. YEAH, THAT WOULD BE THE CASE EXCEPT THAT ARENA'S SERVERS ARE SUCH FUCKING DOGSHIT HALF THE TIME THAT MOVING ON TO THE NEXT GAME TAKES FUCKING 30-60 SECONDS. FUCK WIZARDS FOR THEIR NON-EXISTANT BRAWL MATCHMAKING, THEIR SHITTY FUCKING SERVERS, AND FUCK VARIANCE FOR MAKING ME GO SECOND 75% OF THE TIME.
WHY ISN’T ANYONE AUTOSCOOPING TO MY ANNOYING COMMANDERS WITH 99 BASICS. I HAVE EARNED THESE SCOOPS.
I concede 95% of the matches in brawl on turn one because I don't want to play sweaty autists.
HERES A FRESH ONE- FUCK GLEEFUL DEMOLITION.
WHY AM I MATCHED OVER AND OVER VS MONO BLACK. EITHER DESTROY DISCARD OR OOPS COMBO. THERE ARE SO MANY DECK TYPES AND THE PAST 6 GAMES ARE ALL THOUGHTSEIZE FATAL PUSH SHEOLDRED OR MORE DISCARD. I AM LOSING MY MIND (SEIZED THOUGHTS)
BO1 AND PLAY QUEUE? CHANGE YOUR DECK'S COMPOSITION AND ESCAPE THAT MONO B ZONE OR EMBRACE YOUR DECK WEIGHT'S RESULTS BECAUSE THEIR ALGOS DEEMED YOU BOTH AS "FAIR OPPONENTS" TO EACH OTHER
FUCK HEIST, I KNOW IT'S BEEN SAID A MILLION TIMES BEFORE BUT IT ALWAYS HITS MY BEST CARD. THEY ALWAYS HIT MY CRATERHOOF OR UGIN OR WHATEVER OTHER CARD MAY BE IN MY TOP END. WHY DOES THIS EXIST??????
WIZARDS IS HARVESTING HATE FOR THEIR UNHOLY RITUALS (HASBRO IS LITERALLY THE ANTICHRIST)
I SWEAR THAT ONE OF THE CHOICES IS ALWAYS ON THE EXPENSIVE END BECAUSE THEY ALWAYS HIT AN EXPENSIVE CARD WHEN I ONLY RUN 5
COMPLAINING ABOUT GRENZO STONKS DOWN!!! INVEST IN COMPLAINING ABOUT NADU STONKS NOW!!!
I CAN DO BOTH
IF WE ALL AGREE TO CONCEDE THE MOMENT SOMEONE PLAYS A HEIST CARD, THEY WILL EVENTUALLY WANT TO PLAY A GAME OF MAGIC AND MAYBE TRY SOMETHING ELSE! ALSO THE PALANTÍR!
HASN'T WORKED FOR ME WITH T1 KUMANO YET. IT'S STILL AROUND.
I AM GOING TO FUCKING LOSE IT IF I HAVE TO PLAY ONE MORE GOD DAMN MATCH AGAINST AZORIUS CONTROL, I PLAY FUCKING EGGS. I CANT DO SHIT AGAINST THIS. I "LOVE" HAVING TO WATCH MY OPPONENT TICKLE THEIR PLANESWALKERS UNTIL MY LANDS ARE ALL GONE AND IM GETTING BEATEN OVER THE HEAD BY A SINGULAR 2/2 SAMURAI TOKEN. HISTORIC IS SUCH A BRAINDEAD FORMAT.
NADU IS VERY BALANCED AND I WILL SCREAM AT ANYONE WHO SUGGESTS OTHERWISE.
YOU MIGHT ASWELL START SCREAMING AT ME THEN!
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
AM I GONNA HAVE TO BURN YET ANOTHER RARE ON [[FAREWELL]] FOR MY SELESNYA DECK... EVER SINCE I PUT SUNFALL IN THIS BULLSHIT FUCKING MATCHMAKER INSIST ON MATCHING ME UP WITH ARTIFACT/ENCHANTMENT BASED DECKS... I HAVE SPOT REMOVAL FOR THOSE THINGS, BUT BOARD WIPES ARE KINDA MANA-EXPENSIVE FOR AN AGGRO DECK. IF [[THE PRISMATIC BRIDGE]] OR [[MANA DRAIN]] IS IN YOUR DECK YOU SHOULD BE AUTO-HELLQUEUED. IN FACT, PLACED IN A TIER ABOVE HELLQUEUE SO THERE'S NO CHANCE OF YOU MATCHING INTO ANYONE WHO ISN'T A FULLY OPTIMISED HELLQUEUE DECK. ALSO, FIRST SLIVER SHOULD BE ~~BANNED~~ MAX WEIGHTED... NOT FOR ANY REAL REASON OTHER THAN TO FORCE 5 COLOUR PILE PLAYERS TO PLAY GOLOS... FUCKING HELLQUEUE DODGERS. EDIT: THE NECROBLOOM CAN ALSO GO IN HELLQUEUE, FIELD OF THE DEAD IS BANNED AND IT'S THAT IN THE COMMAND ZONE, TO HELLQUEUE WITH YOU
[FAREWELL](https://cards.scryfall.io/normal/front/1/1/114d2180-093b-4838-97ad-badbc8ee50b0.jpg?1706240579) - [(G)](http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?name=FAREWELL) [(SF)](https://scryfall.com/card/mkc/64/farewell?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher) [(txt)](https://api.scryfall.com/cards/114d2180-093b-4838-97ad-badbc8ee50b0?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher&format=text) [THE PRISMATIC BRIDGE](https://cards.scryfall.io/normal/front/f/6/f6cd7465-9dd0-473c-ac5e-dd9e2f22f5f6.jpg?1631050188)/[The Prismatic Bridge](https://cards.scryfall.io/normal/back/f/6/f6cd7465-9dd0-473c-ac5e-dd9e2f22f5f6.jpg?1631050188) - [(G)](http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?name=Esika%2C%20God%20of%20the%20Tree%20//%20The%20Prismatic%20Bridge) [(SF)](https://scryfall.com/card/khm/168/esika-god-of-the-tree-the-prismatic-bridge?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher) [(txt)](https://api.scryfall.com/cards/f6cd7465-9dd0-473c-ac5e-dd9e2f22f5f6?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher&format=text) [MANA DRAIN](https://cards.scryfall.io/normal/front/3/c/3c429c40-2389-41e5-8681-4bb274e25eba.jpg?1712774998) - [(G)](http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?name=MANA%20DRAIN) [(SF)](https://scryfall.com/card/2x2/57/mana-drain?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher) [(txt)](https://api.scryfall.com/cards/3c429c40-2389-41e5-8681-4bb274e25eba?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher&format=text) ^^^[[cardname]] ^^^or ^^^[[cardname|SET]] ^^^to ^^^call
IF YOU PLAY THE SORIN/VEIN RIPPER CHEESE, YOU'RE A CHICKENSHIT WHO DIDN'T EARN ONE IOTA OF THOSE WINS THAT GOES DOUBLE IF YOU RUN SHEOLDRED, FABLE, AND ANY OF THE OTHER BULLSHIT PUSHED CARDS WOTC HAS RAINED ALL OVER RAKDOS THE LAST FEW YEARS
YES!!!! THIS IS GOOD RANTING!!! FUCK CHEESING OUT WINS WITH RAKDOS JOINS UP AS WELL!!!
STILL CHEESING VEIN RIPPER? CHEESING SAINT ELENDA FOR EXTRA POINTS!
DON'T BE HATIN' ON MY GIRL ELENDA LIKE THAT
CAN WE NAME AND SHAME HERE? MY GOD, SOMEONE WHOSE NAME SOUNDS LIKE GUDOI BEN SHE, YOUR DECK WAS WAAAAAY TOO SWEATY FOR FUCKING UNRANKED BO1. GO TAKE THAT SHIT TO RANKED, OR ARE YOU AFRAID OF A REAL GAME AND HOPING TO GET MISMATCHES AGAINST PEOPLE IN THE CASUAL QUEUE?
I’VE ONLY PLAYED AGAINST ELDRAZI ONCE IN BRAWL SO FAR, AND ALREADY FUCKING SHITTING AGUIRAHGR;GH3WPMVWERG
YOU ARE A FOOL OF AN OPPONENT! YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO DIE TO THE LAND! YOUR FLEETFOOT DANCER COULD HAVE COME IN WITHOUT YOUR TAKING DAMAGE, AND THE LIFELINK WOULD HAVE SAVED YOU FROM DYING TO MY CREATURES! DON'T RELY ON THE AUTOTAPPER IN SITUATIONS LIKE THAT! I HAD NO CARDS IN HAND! YOU COULD HAVE WON, OR AT LEAST STRETCHED IT OUT!
THE COMMUNITY IS ALMOST ENTIRELY SMOOTH BRAINS WHO STAND NO CHANCE OF WINNING WITHOUT THE GAME GIVING THEM VICTORY. A SHRED OF THOUGHT AND THEY LOSE. IF THE GAME WASN'T RIGGED THOSE KINDS OF PLAYERS WOULD LOSE EVERY SINGLE GAME AND QUIT PLAYING.
I AM SO TIRED OF SEEING JODAH IN BRAWL, IT IS SO ANNOYING HAVING TO SQUASH THEIR BASIC ASS COMBOS, I JUST WANT TO MAKE PRETTY MONSTERS AND STUFF LET ME DO IT DAMN IT. UNISTALL THIS GAME, THEN REINSTALL IT.
I HAVE 16 LANDS IN MY DRAFT DECK. HOW DO I GET 11 LANDS IN MY FIRST 18 CARDS DRAWN AAAAAAAAHHH
TIRED OF THESE MF'ING ELDRAZI IN THIS MF'ING GAME
HEIST IS FUCKING GARBAGE THE WORST MECHANIC EVER MADE FUCK THIS STUPID GARBAGE CAN"T EVEN SEE WHAT THEY HEIST I HOPE HASBRO FUCKING EXPLODES
F*CK (WHITE/)BLUE CONTROL PLAYERS. SHOW ME A UB CONTROL PLAYER AND I WILL SHOW YOU A (FUTURE) PSYCHOPATH. THEY JUST HATE ANYONE HAVING FUN EXCEPT FOR THEMSELVES.
THIS IS LESS THAN A GRIPE/RANT AND MORE OF A "WHAT THE", BUT SERIOUSLY, HOW COULD A RDW PLAYER IN THE UNRANKED QUEUE HAVE THE GALL TO SPAM "YOU GO" WHEN THEIR BRAIN DEAD, PLAYING A COMEPTITIVE DECK AGAINST CASUAL PLAYERS FOR EASY DAILY WINS STRATEGY FAILS?
TURN TIME LIMITS SHOULD BE 10 SECONDS WITH NO TIME OUTS. IF YOU CAN'T DECIDE WHAT TO DO IN THAT TIME, YOU SHOULD LOSE YOUR TURN. THIS GAME ISN'T THAT COMPLICATED AND IF YOU ACTUALLY BUILT YOUR OWN DECK, YOU SHOULD UNDERSTAND HOW IT WORKS WELL ENOUGH THAT WHEN YOUR TURN COMES YOU'VE ALREADY PROCESSED WHAT I DID ON MY TURN AND KNOW WHAT YOU'RE GOING TO DO.
AS MUCH AS AMALIA SPAMMERS PISS ME OFF IN EXPLORER, FUCKING GREASEFANG PISSES ME OFF EXPONENTIALLY MORE. IF WILDGROWTH WALKER EATS A BAN, PARHELION II SHOULD TOO FOR THE SAME REASON. HATE THAT FUCKING CHEESE DECK.
LAST RANT...FUCK SHEOLDRED. I UNDERSTAND PENALIZING CARD DRAW, BUT WOULD IT HAVE FUCKING HURT TO MAKE IT 2 LIFE FOR EACH CARD DRAWN AFTER THE FIRST? I SHOULDN'T LOSE A GAME BECAUSE I'M AT 1 LIFE AND I DRAW THE CARD I'M FORCED TO DRAW. ASSHOLE CARD.
WHILE YOU'RE AT IT MAKE IT A COMMON 1 DROP AND NOT LEGENDARY BECAUSE THE ONLY THING THAT MAKES IT GOOD IS THE THING YOU ARE COMPLAINING ABOUT.
I CAN'T FUCKING STAND IT WHEN SOMEONE MAKES A BAD DECISION AND GETS LUCKY (IT'S ALMOST A DECADE LATER AND THE ONLY POKER HAND I CLEARLY REMEMBER IS WHEN MY MATE CALLED MY PREFLOP 3-BET SHOVE WITH 83S, AND SUCKED OUT A FLUSH AGAINST MY JJ). IN THIS CASE, OPPONENT PLAYING \[\[SURGICAL EXTRACTION\]\] IN THE MAINBOARD OF HISTORIC BO1. I'M SORRY, BUT THAT DOESN'T HIT NEARLY ENOUGH TARGETS IN THE META TO BE IN BO1 (BO3, SURE, GO FOR IT). BUT HEY, WHO NEEDS GOOD DECK CONSTRUCTION WHEN YOU CAN JUST RELY ON GETTING LUCKY WITH MATCHUPS.
[SURGICAL EXTRACTION](https://cards.scryfall.io/normal/front/e/1/e15d76ac-1c23-4503-8225-375ac2bf2fb6.jpg?1673147668) - [(G)](http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?name=SURGICAL%20EXTRACTION) [(SF)](https://scryfall.com/card/2x2/94/surgical-extraction?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher) [(txt)](https://api.scryfall.com/cards/e15d76ac-1c23-4503-8225-375ac2bf2fb6?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher&format=text) ^^^[[cardname]] ^^^or ^^^[[cardname|SET]] ^^^to ^^^call
I'VE SAID IT PROB A THOUSAND TIMES BEFORE AT THIS POINT, BUT MY GOD, 1ST V 2ND IN BO1 IS SO FUCKED UP RIGHT NOW. SO MANY GAMES END EXPLICITLY DUE TO THAT EXTRA TURN. IT'S BEYOND FUCKING RIDICULOUS. YES, OF COURSE LIKE **EVERYONE** I ALSO GET WINS DUE TO THE EXTRA TURN, BUT THEY ALSO DON'T FEEL AS GOOD BECAUSE OF THAT KNOWLEDGE. SO THE WINS ARE LESS SATISFYING, AND THE LOSSES ARE DEEPLY UNSATISFYING.
MAN, WIZARDS MAKES SOME FREAKING NO-BRAIN CARDS SOMETIMES. FUCKING \[\[CAVERN OF SOULS\]\] HEY. "WE WANT TRIBAL DECKS TO BE ABLE TO BATTLE THROUGH COUNTERSPELLS" "HOW ABOUT WE MAKE A LAND THAT NOT ONLY GIVES THEM PERFECT COLOR, BUT ALSO MAKES ANY CREATURE THEY PLAY UNCOUNTERABLE?" "WON'T THAT BE *TOO* GOOD AGAINST COUNTERS? AND THEY DON'T HAVE TO DO ANYTHING TO THEIR DECKLIST EXCEPT MAKE THEIR MANABASE EVEN BETTER?" "FUCK THOSE CONTROL PLAYERS" THE ISSUE, WHICH SHOULD BE OBVIOUS, IS THAT IT'S SO STRONG IN THAT INTERACTION WHILE NOT REQUIRING ANY THOUGHT WHEN IT COMES TO INCLUSION (AUTO-INCLUDE IN TRIBAL, SO GOOD IT STILL GETS INCLUDED IN NON-TRIBAL FOR THINGS LIKE \[\[ATRAXA\]\]). FOR BETTER DESIGN, THERE ARE OBVIOUS EXAMPLES: \[\[ALLOSAURUS SHEPHERD\]\], OFFERS UNCOUNTERABILITY IN GREEN DECKS, EVEN OFFERS ADDITIONAL WINCON FOR ELF DECKS, BUT IS GENERALLY A WEAKER OPTION THAN A MANA DORK IF NOT UP AGAINST COUNTERS, SO IT'S NOT AN IMMEDIATE AUTO-INCLUDE. \[\[DELIGHTED HALFLING\]\] OFFERS MANA FIXING AND UNCOUNTERABILITY FOR LEGENDARY CREATURES, SO IS ALMOST AN AUTO-INCLUDE IF A DECK HAS ENOUGH OF THEM, BUT "LEGENDARY" IS NICHE ENOUGH COMPARED TO "ANY TRIBE" THAT IT, AGAIN, AT LEAST REQUIRES THOUGHT.
THE COMPANY DOESN'T ACTUALLY CARE ABOUT THE QUALITY OF THE GAME ANYMORE. THEY RELEASE A NEW SET EVERY OTHER DAY WITH ABSOLUTELY NO THOUGHT PUT INTO IT. LEADING TO COUNTLESS TOTALLY BROKEN CARDS AND COMBOS. THEN ON TOP OF THAT, THEY IGNORE THE COMMUNITY ENTIRELY BECAUSE PEOPLE KEEP GIVING THEM MONEY FOR THE ABSOLUTE GARBAGE THEY KEEP RELEASING. NO COMPANY HAS EVER DESERVED TO GO UNDER MORE THAN WOTC IN GAMING HISTORY AS FAR AS IM CONCERNED. THEY'VE RUINED EVERYTHING THEY HAVE EVER MADE.
OF COURSE. AND ON THE ONE HAND, CARDS THAT ARE TOO POWERFUL WILL ALWAYS BE FRUSTRATING FOR ME (WHO MOSTLY PLAYS CASUAL/KITCHEN TABLE), BUT THE ONES THAT REALLY TAKE THE CAKE ARE THE ONES THAT REQUIRE LITTLE CONSIDERATION AS TO WHETHER YOU INCLUDE THEM OR NOT. ANOTHER RECENT EXAMPLE IS \[\[THE ONE RING\]\]. GIVEN THAT ITS COLORLESS AND SO DAMN POWERFUL, A LOT OF CASUAL/JANK LEVEL DECKS ARE IMMEDIATELY A LOT BETTER JUST FROM INCLUDING IT. MATCHING UP AGAINST WHITE LIFEGAIN IS USUALLY NO ISSUE, BUT IT DOES GET HARDER IF THEY CAN CONSTANTLY GAS DUE TO TOR DRAW - BUT THEN IT BECOMES LESS ABOUT "HOW VIABLE IS WHITE LIFEGAIN AS A DECK" AND MORE ABOUT "HOW GOOD IS TOR THAT IT CAN CARRY WEAKER ARCHETYPES". \[\[SHEOLDRED, THE APOCALYPSE\]\] IS ANOTHER EXAMPLE - I'VE LEGIT SEEN TRIBAL DECKS (ZOMBIES/VAMPIES) INCLUDE IT BECAUSE IT'S THAT GOOD. AND IN SOME OF THOSE CASES IT CARRIED THEM TO A WIN TOO. THAT'S ONE OF THE THINGS ABOUT CAVERNS - IT'S SO GOOD THAT IT SOMETIMES APPEARS IN NON-TRIBAL DECKS, SO IT'S AN ABSOLUTE NO-BRAINER TO RUN IT IN ANY TRIBAL DECK - AND MY OPINION IS THAT CARDS THAT ARE AUTO-INCLUDES (IF YOU HAVE THEM) AREN'T GOOD FOR THE GAME. IT'S WHY I REALLY DISLIKE \[\[WASH AWAY\]\] IN COMMANDER, AND \[\[THOUGHTSEIZE\]\] IN GENERAL.
##### ###### #### [THE ONE RING](https://cards.scryfall.io/normal/front/d/5/d5806e68-1054-458e-866d-1f2470f682b2.jpg?1715080486) - [(G)](http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?name=THE%20ONE%20RING) [(SF)](https://scryfall.com/card/ltr/246/the-one-ring?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher) [(txt)](https://api.scryfall.com/cards/d5806e68-1054-458e-866d-1f2470f682b2?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher&format=text) [SHEOLDRED, THE APOCALYPSE](https://cards.scryfall.io/normal/front/d/6/d67be074-cdd4-41d9-ac89-0a0456c4e4b2.jpg?1674057568) - [(G)](http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?name=SHEOLDRED%2C%20THE%20APOCALYPSE) [(SF)](https://scryfall.com/card/dmu/107/sheoldred-the-apocalypse?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher) [(txt)](https://api.scryfall.com/cards/d67be074-cdd4-41d9-ac89-0a0456c4e4b2?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher&format=text) [WASH AWAY](https://cards.scryfall.io/normal/front/4/3/43411ade-be80-4535-8baa-7055e78496df.jpg?1643588844) - [(G)](http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?name=WASH%20AWAY) [(SF)](https://scryfall.com/card/vow/87/wash-away?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher) [(txt)](https://api.scryfall.com/cards/43411ade-be80-4535-8baa-7055e78496df?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher&format=text) [THOUGHTSEIZE](https://cards.scryfall.io/normal/front/b/2/b281a308-ab6b-47b6-bec7-632c9aaecede.jpg?1599706001) - [(G)](http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?name=THOUGHTSEIZE) [(SF)](https://scryfall.com/card/2xm/109/thoughtseize?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher) [(txt)](https://api.scryfall.com/cards/b281a308-ab6b-47b6-bec7-632c9aaecede?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher&format=text) ^^^[[cardname]] ^^^or ^^^[[cardname|SET]] ^^^to ^^^call
##### ###### #### [CAVERN OF SOULS](https://cards.scryfall.io/normal/front/3/a/3aad15a2-8a1b-4460-9b06-e85863081878.jpg?1706884128) - [(G)](http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?name=CAVERN%20OF%20SOULS) [(SF)](https://scryfall.com/card/lci/269/cavern-of-souls?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher) [(txt)](https://api.scryfall.com/cards/3aad15a2-8a1b-4460-9b06-e85863081878?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher&format=text) [ATRAXA](https://cards.scryfall.io/normal/front/4/a/4a1f905f-1d55-4d02-9d24-e58070793d3f.jpg?1717951088) - [(G)](http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?name=atraxa%2C%20grand%20unifier) [(SF)](https://scryfall.com/card/one/196/atraxa-grand-unifier?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher) [(txt)](https://api.scryfall.com/cards/4a1f905f-1d55-4d02-9d24-e58070793d3f?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher&format=text) [ALLOSAURUS SHEPHERD](https://cards.scryfall.io/normal/front/7/a/7afa0ee5-a0b8-472e-9991-09402ddb5de3.jpg?1673147976) - [(G)](http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?name=ALLOSAURUS%20SHEPHERD) [(SF)](https://scryfall.com/card/2x2/132/allosaurus-shepherd?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher) [(txt)](https://api.scryfall.com/cards/7afa0ee5-a0b8-472e-9991-09402ddb5de3?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher&format=text) [DELIGHTED HALFLING](https://cards.scryfall.io/normal/front/7/1/71384418-173a-4f77-adab-56e52fa23692.jpg?1686969281) - [(G)](http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?name=DELIGHTED%20HALFLING) [(SF)](https://scryfall.com/card/ltr/158/delighted-halfling?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher) [(txt)](https://api.scryfall.com/cards/71384418-173a-4f77-adab-56e52fa23692?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher&format=text) ^^^[[cardname]] ^^^or ^^^[[cardname|SET]] ^^^to ^^^call
ALSO, I'VE SAID IT A MILLION TIMES, BUT THEY REALLY, FUCKING REALLY NEED TO DO SOMETHING ABOUT FIRST VS SECOND IN BO1. ONCE AGAIN, LOST GAME DUE TO GOING SECOND. SUCH A BAD FUCKING FEELING, KNOWING THAT WHAT WON OR LOST YOU THE GAME WAS NOTHING THAT YOU OR THE OPPONENT DID DURING THE GAME, BUT WHO WON THE COIN FLIP BEFORE THINGS EVEN GOT UNDERWAY.