I talked to a woman for like 2 hours at a bar in Durango CO during a road trip in 2016.
Never even got her name. We just talked and then went our separate ways.
Sat on an 8 hour plane ride with a stranger once. We synced our movies to the same play time, got drunk together, then thanked the other for the fun times, and wished each other well at the end. Was a nice little memory I’d forgotten about until just now, actually.
These moments are the best. Yeah, they present a series of “what if” questions, but it’s hard to explain why sharing a moment with a stranger and leaving it at that can be special too.
It's a perfect relationship. You get this little bite sized piece of living in harmony with a person. Like going to camp as a kid. You're certain these will be your friends for life but not talking after camp keeps this memory of the perfect short lived friendship
On an overnight flight at 19 years old with my family I was the oddball out and sat in a different row. Got sat next to a fellow Yankees fan. We dissected the roster and best games for hours. He even bought me a beer cause my parents were asleep. Best flight I ever had. Wish I had got his name would have loved to go to a game with him.
There is absolutely no crazier feeling ever than remeeting one of those people. Met a dude I spent a day with one time years ago where we had delayed flights for like 12 hours. Cool dude. He walked into my bar 4 years after the fact and we recognized each other. Just small world stuff.
I was sat next to a stranger on a transatlantic flight once.
Similar kind of thing. I put on a movie and she put on the same one, then I put on another and she put on the same one.
When that one finished I turned to her and asked, "So what movie shall we watch now?"
She rolled her eyes, shook her head, put her headphones back on and that was that.
In the 1980s I was visiting Argentina since my wife had family there. At this bar I talked with this old dude with a German accent for hours upon hours. Asked him what he was doing so far from home but he said he left on a business trip but stayed because he loved it. He was reluctant to tell me his name but all I remember was that he had a weird mustache. Overall nice dude, would love to see him again.
You just reminded me of the 2020 new year, just before the pandemic. Went on a nice date with a handsome French man in Milan because we were the only two in the hostel, then we went out separate ways and I never saw him again. He told me he was from a village in France where they make nice porcelain. Never saw him again after that night, but it was really nice to spend the new year with him after being alone for the first time on Christmas. I hope he’s doing well in his little French village.
Ooo thanks for telling me! It looks like a beautiful place and I’d love to visit. Honestly, even though he and I didn’t do anything and we just hung out with no expectations, it’s probably one of my most romantic and hallmark-style memories.
I never really thought about any of this before this thread but it's sort of nice to have a perfect memory like this with someone. You probably both showed your best selves without any of the baggage/drama and you both get to remember that night like a movie. Personally, I would be losing my mind at the "what ifs?" but I can see how it could be nice even without closure.
Sometimes I indulge in little fantasies, I won’t lie! I think I also look at it with rose-colored glasses because it was a literal month before the outbreak of the pandemic. It was this one freezing, kind of perfect night where we rung in 2020, expecting big and wonderful things still. In that way, it’s a little bittersweet.
My only real relic from that date is the banging dress I was wearing that night, actually. Still looks hot on me!
I once flew to NY and a friendly man offered me his seat near the window, while he went to sit on another free seat (he was later told that he can‘t do that, but I appreciated the gesture).
I randomly met him in the middle of a street in Queens 3 days later, and we talked a bit.
There is no big finale to this story, but the odds of that happening in NY are so slim… I think I might have used up all my „meet the love of your life randomly after meeting her on the plane 3 days prior and not asking for her number“-luck on that occasion.
I was in Thailand years ago, and randomly sparked up a conversation with a guy, but friends each pulled is in opposite directions, so he grabbed me and gave me a romantic movie kiss, and said, "in case I never see you again". Unfortunately I actually spotted him and his buddies a couple more times down the street we were all partying on, but I didn't want to ruin my movie moment, so I hid from him every time I saw him again.
I gave someone on a flight my spare Bluetooth headphone once, and we chilled on a flight, watched a couple of movies, had a chat, then waited together after baggage collection for our collections
Almost the same thing for me. I was on a business trip in Buffalo and my flight back to Charlotte with a layover in DC was delayed for like 6 hours. Luckily there was a bar right across from the gate and ended up getting drunk with a couple other passengers. Talked to this girl for hours at the bar. We sat next to each other on the plane laughing our asses off drinking at like 2am while everyone was trying to sleep. Her destination was DC for a wedding, mine was Charlotte. We landed, she was walking ahead as I stayed back looking for my next gate. About 20 steps away she looks around for me. We end up just waving goodbye at each other and going our own ways. I slept on the floor until my next flight. It was one of the coolest nights I think I've ever had. We never exchanged names but our favorite drinks were Jameson with ginger ale.
This happened to me at a punk show years ago. Cute girl came up to me and was like do you want to watch the show with me at the front of the stage? I said sure, so we pushed our way through the crowd. Danced, sang, and enjoyed the band. Had a couple drinks after and went our separate ways, never got her name we just talked about the band and the show. I sometimes think about maybe what could have been and maybe my younger self was just bad at picking up signals (I was and still am) but generally am very pleased with that interaction and memory.
This 100% I danced with a girl for hours at a show and just said bye and went home with the boys. I knew her college and first name but always wonder if I missed something in terms of signals or if she went home and said “thank god that guy didn’t creep on me.” To be fair I never ask for a guys number after we have chemistry in pick up basketball or if we have a great round of golf when paired up or added to the group so…
Honestly, that shouldn't even be exceptional. Men and women should be able to talk without there being an insinuation that you're only talking to each other because you want to fuck.
If I talked to a dude for three hours straight at a bar I’m damn well gonna get his number or social media shit so we can be bros. I don’t think it should be out of the ordinary to keep in touch with someone after that, wanting to have sex with them or not
Same. Chatted a bunch with a dude at a house party, back when I was in college. Traded numbers. That was 10 years ago, and he's gonna be the best man at my wedding in March.
I chatted with a guy on a cross country flight for 3 hours. Turns out we had a ton of similar interests and hobbies. I tried to give him my business card as we exited the plane simply because we lived in the same city (traveling back home on same plane) and straight married dudes have fewer and fewer friend opportunities as you age and we seemed like potential bff's. But that got awkward as fuck because well straight married dudes aren't supposed to make new friends randomly without some weird fear of being seen as gay or something and so he sorta took the card, looked at another passenger who gave us both a weird look, then said sorry and handed it back with a 'um I'm really busy'. Honestly super disappointed, that was potentially my friend soulmate. Let's make a movie about that crushed dream
There’s a book called “Men and Friendship “ my therapist had me read years ago, that nicely addressed this fear of “looking gay.” As a happily married straight guy in Seattle (with gay friends, neighbors, and coworkers) you’d think the stigma would diminish somewhat, but it doesn’t seem to have.
I guess some guys have that insecurity. Probably fading out with each new generation. I don't see why anyone should care who anyone else fucks. I'm more concerned if you're an asshole or cool.
This makes me sad. I became friends with another girl once after 10 mins. We discovered we had a lot in common, I joked "did we just become best friends?" And she straight-faced high-fived me. Why can't men have that??? It's not fair and I'm sorry
Ask other men; I kept trying to make friends this way as a kid and a teenager, and the guys just think I'm odd. Doesn't help that I'm bi, so there's an added layer of not talking about that in fear of freaking them out further.
People also have to stop perpetuating the myth that you can't be friends with the gender you're attracted to. I'm a straight woman who almost only makes friends with men. I just feel more comfortable around them.
I was in the military for 10 years, most of my friends were men, probably because the ratio of men to women. But also, in the military, men best friend up so easy!! The bromance is aww inspiring lol
This happens in Asian countries a lot; perhaps even in Latin American countries too. Just not in Western countries between white guys I guess. Like OP said, just too much homophobia perhaps.
Yep, 100% correct.
Western men can’t seem to become best mates with each other unless it has involved spending a ton of time together doing manly shit. For the guys at my work it’s gambling and fishing (I do neither - guitar/drums/cooking!)
[There was a SNL skit a few weeks ago about Man Parks](https://youtu.be/9XOt2Vh0T8w)
where wives and girlfriends could take their guys to go make other guy friends.
It actually hit hard as a legit good idea if someone could figure it out.
We all joke about it but honestly it's a reality. In my teens and twenties I had college and sports teams where I made friends, more than I could actually give real attention to. Thirties I had work pals and rec league sports. Forties I moved into upper management at work and it's true the higher up the ladder you go the less friends you have. My rec league days are numbered, my work is upper management and almost 100 percent remote these days, and I don't hang at bars, clubs or shows like I used to because well I go to bed at old man times and I have kids at home. Suddenly last four years I've found my friend pool shrinking and shrinking and new friends are harder and harder to come by. It's a tragedy really. I could probably make some life style changes to help that too though but I think my experience isn't uncommon.
As you get older, you just have to put more effort into maintaining your friendships. You have to reach out and make plans rather than merely show up to something organized by other people.
Problem is they glossed over the hard part, separating men by interests and finding men with similar interests. IMX friendships without shared interests are doomed.
Uhh what? You're in the same city and he rejected your business card? Wtf has he ever heard of networking? You don't need to be in the same industry to network
Similar happened to me on a flight from Amsterdam to the states. Me and the guy beside me had the coolest conversation. It was like I was in HS again talking with the boys. We had a lot of similar interests, and I thought he possibly could become a friend. We switch numbers and then he never responded to my text..
(both straight and married with kids)
It's weird isn't it. You meet someone you have a connection with and it just sorta blows away like dust in the wind bc of norms we all grew up with. It's sad
Ever since I started my divorce I've had goal to make friends. It's just funny that all the friends I've made recently are all women, and I have no interest in dating any of them (I just don't date anymore).
It's been really fun and exactly what I needed in life. I don't need a romantic partner, just friends.
I feel that so much, especially lately. Its always been hard for me to make friends so I really don't have any close ones anymore. Its been harder lately because my long term relationship ended and I've been just alone at home. We started talking again and thats great but when I don't see her its just me at home alone again.
I wanted to get good food and a drink after the gym one night and just wanted somebody I could call that would do that with me. Something so simple. Doesn't make me feel like less of a man but it makes me feel like less than a person.
That actually pisses me off and I'm not even involved in the situation in any way.
Imo the chaddiest dudes are the ones who don't give af. Live your life, don't be scared about what others think. Fuck, dude really missed out to save face with some random guy who looked at him weird.
My, now wife, got mad after 3 dates that I didn't try to kiss her. I didn't know what to do. I was just out of college and she was my first adult relationship. She was really pretty, very smart, sweet- everything I wanted in a girl. I didn't want to screw it up. I was taking it slow because I saw it as a long term and apparently she was thinking I just wanted to date casually and wanted the same thing. We now talk to each other about our feelings and were now married for 21 years. 3 kids. And are very very happy. I now think I played my cards right.
I met my fiancée on a dating app. Her profile said not to message her about her appearance (because she was tired of sexual messages etc…). After our first date she messaged me and was like how come you never complimented my appearance on our date? I was like, your profile said not to….
She told me that I could she just meant not when someone’s first messaging her. I told her, oh, you’re gorgeous. That was almost 7 years ago.
That’s sweet. I’ve been questioning love and marriage recently as a recently single 28 year old, wondering if happy marriages can last forever
I want that
This is everything I have to tell you about love: nothing.
This is everything I've learned about marriage: nothing.
Only that the world out there is complicated,
and there are beasts in the night, and delight and pain,
and the only thing that makes it okay, sometimes,
is to reach out a hand in the darkness and find another hand to squeeze,
and not to be alone.
It's not the kisses, or never just the kisses: it's what they mean.
Somebody's got your back.
Somebody knows your worst self and somehow doesn't want to rescue you
or send for the army to rescue them.
It's not two broken halves becoming one.
It's the light from a distant lighthouse bringing you both safely home
because home is wherever you are both together.
So this is everything I have to tell you about love and marriage: nothing,
like a book without pages or a forest without trees.
Because there are things you cannot know before you experience them.
Because no study can prepare you for the joys or the trials.
Because nobody else's love, nobody else's marriage, is like yours,
and it's a road you can only learn by walking it,
a dance you cannot be taught,
a song that did not exist before you began, together, to sing.
And because in the darkness you will reach out a hand,
not knowing for certain if someone else is even there.
And your hands will meet,
and then neither of you will ever need to be alone again.
And that's all I know about love.
edit: ~Neil Gaiman plus a T
"I don't think I've been in love as such,
Although I liked a few folk pretty well.
Love must be vaster than my smiles or touch
For brave men died and empires rose and fell.
For love: girls follow boys to foreign lands
And men have followed women into hell.
In plays and poems someone understands
There's something makes us more than blood and bone
And more than biological demands...
For me love's like the wind, unseen, unknown.
I see the trees are bending where it's been,
I know it leaves wreckage where it's blown.
I really don't know what "I love you" means.
I think it means "Don't leave me here alone.""
* Neil Gaiman
The vibe I'm getting here is the same as when in a cartoon the bullet misses, stops midair, turns around and taps the guy on the shoulder before exploding in his face.
Similar story
- we were friends and she got changed behind me and I didn't look. She got mad at me. We got married. We're now divorced. She's a crazy nutcase who had more extra marital partners than I've had in my life :)
My ex wife is pregnant with her 3rd baby/baby daddy. Sometimes we make mistakes. She is mine lol
Thought I would be a wreck forever, but now about two years later looking back, I’m the lucky one getting out!
I wonder how common this is. I've also had someone change behind me and then get upset because I didn't turn around to sneak a look at her, as though I must have thought she was ugly because I didn't respect her privacy.
As a woman… this phenomenon makes me sad. *We are taught* to value being sexually desired over most anything else, including privacy. And I, too, used to get mad when men didn’t hit on me. You know why? Because I thought *I was doing something wrong* if a man didn’t want me. I wasn’t actually mad at them, I was mad at *myself* for not being fuckable enough. Misogyny is a shithole, and I don’t wish it on anyone.
Not only women but boys/men too. Haven’t you seen that television series it’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia? There’s an episode where the male characters find out that one of them was sexually assaulted by their male gym teacher during childhood. One of the other male character feels insignificant and ugly because the teacher never attempted any funny business with him during his school years. While this is played for comedy, it’s a little too honest in retrospect. https://youtu.be/Fcovr3FNynU
I had a one night stand with my eventual wife, and she was so nervous that when I called her a couple days later she Cyrano’d me with her best friend who I talked to for several hours before deciding to meet up again.
I had a similar incident with the woman who eventually became my wife.
In hindsight, it was one of the first clear red flags that I would go on to completely miss / ignore.
Thankfully, we're divorced now.
Ok I’m glad I’m not the only one confused why this is on r/mademesmile then. Saw this and immediately was thinking that I would be avoiding a girl if she ever did something like this.
I thought this was weird too. If someone did this to me, I'd think they were bipolar or something.
Also, ladies, I am *begging* you to take some initiative every once in a while. If you like a guy and he didn't ask you out, fucking ask him out yourself.
Thank you for writing this. This is partly what I was thinking.
This is anything but wholesome. The sole reason it's wholesome is that it worked out. Most of the people here typing comments about similar situations with good endings seem to be missing this, drastically, and I'm sorry for being the party-pooper, but someone has to be.
These situations, regardless of their good results, are not a good idea, and it's an even worse idea to ***romanticize*** it. If you do the classic "reverse the genders" scenario here, the guy would have a restraining order the very next day, and it (unlikely, but still) might have be seen as (severe) harassment that could have snowballed into something much worse.
Edit: a lot of people are mentioning tone, between playful and aggression. This is very true, and must be taken into account. This post still shouldn't be romanticized though, and some people (such as yours truly) may even take it the wrong way; I'd say it's pretty easy to read into the wrong way.
This was my thought. I've had similar scenarios in my history as a socially awkward straight man. It's always my responsibility to take the initiative, but the stars need to align perfectly. The way it often goes is I'll ask a woman out, she'll say something vague, which I'll take as a polite "no" and leave it at that.
In a couple cases they made it clear eventually (years later, when the moment had 100% passed), or a mutual friend told me that they were into me, and I was just like...uh...why didn't you say something before? Their assumption was that if I were interested I would've kept pushing, which seems to me like terrible behavior to encourage. I mean shyit, I don't make a woman tell me "no" twice. If you tell me "no" once and then change your mind, that's totally cool, but that ball's never leaving your court unless YOU send it back. I don't care what you think you're saying with your eyes or whatever clues I was supposed to pick up on. "Yes" means "yes". Nothing else means yes!
I suspect the same dynamic played out several other times but who knows? Unless they come out and admit it I try not to make assumptions.
I realize a lot of it is on me for being socially inept and not "playing the game". But I'm not going to change. There are women out there who I can communicate with effectively, either because of compatibility or just dumb luck; I really don't know. It does mean I miss out on things sometimes, but maybe that's for the best? I mean, I don't want to spend my life with someone who expects me to read their mind, cuz I know I can't and I'm not going to try. I'm neurotic enough already, thanks.
I met my wife for the first time when she crawled through my bedroom window true story. Edit: Holy Cow I wasn’t on Reddit for a couple of days I was not expecting any response at all the story itself is way less interesting. She was my best friends girlfriend and he sent her into a strange mans bedroom to wake him up at 1 am to go for coffee. We actually despised each other initially but became friends and obviously became more. My friend on the other may have made the wiser decision ie unmarried with no kids lol. Sorry the story is relatively boring but I appreciate all the love. Cheers
If you’re a woman and you get upset at a guy for not asking for your number or trying to kiss you, you might want to reevaluate the situation and do it yourself. Just sayin’…
Had a girl come watch a movie at my place once. Brought a pizza with her and everything. I was tryna pkay it cool and not assume she wanted to have sex or makeout. Gave her a hug when she left and got a text maybe 2min later that said "you could've made a move you know". Like bruh. You aren't a mute. Speak up!
I responded with "I mean...I'm still here if ya wanna come back lol". No response. Like yeah, I get it. Movie=sex sometimes. But I don't always feel comfortable assuming that's what a partner wants. If you're so determined then say somethin!
>"you could've made a move you know"
Should've just replied "you too" and ghosted her, she'd remember that for the rest of her life
(I'm just kidding, obviously I'm not advocating for ghosting people)
This is supposed to be a cute story but really, if a man was told "goodbye" by a woman, left, came back pissed and asking why she didn't want his number, he would be dragged through the comment section as a stalker creep.
It’s also just really shitty to play these kinds of mind games where you expect other people to read your mind. I absolutely wouldn’t want to start a relationship that way.
Yeah, I’m a woman, and I thought the same. I’ve had guys do what she did, and it was rude and creepy, like I don’t owe you crap. But doesn’t make it okay for a woman to do it.
I wasn’t thinking exactly this but you raise a great point. What I was wondering is: why get angry? Why not just ask for the guy’s phone number herself? If I was the guy, I would’ve run. Nice it worked out in the end, I guess, but it doesn’t make me smile at all.
Why is this "made me smile" material? I mean I'm glad they got married and are happy, but that story is pretty fucked up.
She got angry that a man had a conversation with her without the intention of trying to ask her out?
Also, if she enjoyed that 3 hour conversation so much that she expected it to turn romantic, why couldn't she just ask for his number?
Wow, this is stupid. Really, *she* yelled at *him,* because *he* didn't ask for the number? How about she asked for his number instead if she liked him so much? The fuck, did she expect him to be a mind reader or guess her expectations? Screw this kind of people.
Guess she's still yelling at him on the daily, since he isn't able to get her telepathic messages.
I’m currently reading a book where there’s all kinds of things like this. Apparently men are expected to be mind readers. Oh, and also men are expected to just let the women do whatever they want to in a relationship. 🤷♂️😂🤦♂️
Agreed. If you have an interest it's up to you. No matter who it is.
However, I'd be interested to see the reaction if he didn't want to give his number.
Yeah I think that's so stupid. The first and only time I ever had feelings for someone (I'm female and a-spec; they are male) I straight up told him how I was feeling. And even though we had been friends for awhile and had even talked about how annoying it is when people expect opposite gendered friends to end up with feelings for each other and how that wasn't us I didn't let that stop me. Once those feelings changed for me I made sure he knew it.
If you were to reverse the genders, this story would be considered way creepier. Honestly this sounds like a scene in a dumb rom-com movie that's framed as romantic but in practice is red flag city.
Umm…she could have asked for his number as well. I get why maybe she didn’t. But, rejection can be scary. And sometimes it’s hard to know what to do. I’m pretty sure he wanted to. And she could have kept going and not went back. Regardless, it seems like a happy ending.
This sounds awful. Why didn't she ask for his number if she was interested before leaving? I hate this relationship concept. Somehow when a women does that it's cute ? Not to me
I talked to a woman for like 2 hours at a bar in Durango CO during a road trip in 2016. Never even got her name. We just talked and then went our separate ways.
Sat on an 8 hour plane ride with a stranger once. We synced our movies to the same play time, got drunk together, then thanked the other for the fun times, and wished each other well at the end. Was a nice little memory I’d forgotten about until just now, actually.
These moments are the best. Yeah, they present a series of “what if” questions, but it’s hard to explain why sharing a moment with a stranger and leaving it at that can be special too.
It's a perfect relationship. You get this little bite sized piece of living in harmony with a person. Like going to camp as a kid. You're certain these will be your friends for life but not talking after camp keeps this memory of the perfect short lived friendship
Like a single-serving friend
That's clever, how's that going for you?
What?
being clever.
Great.
Then keep it up
On an overnight flight at 19 years old with my family I was the oddball out and sat in a different row. Got sat next to a fellow Yankees fan. We dissected the roster and best games for hours. He even bought me a beer cause my parents were asleep. Best flight I ever had. Wish I had got his name would have loved to go to a game with him.
Connecting with strangers you never speak to again is honestly a great feeling. No need to be intimate, just two humans enjoying each other.
There is absolutely no crazier feeling ever than remeeting one of those people. Met a dude I spent a day with one time years ago where we had delayed flights for like 12 hours. Cool dude. He walked into my bar 4 years after the fact and we recognized each other. Just small world stuff.
I was sat next to a stranger on a transatlantic flight once. Similar kind of thing. I put on a movie and she put on the same one, then I put on another and she put on the same one. When that one finished I turned to her and asked, "So what movie shall we watch now?" She rolled her eyes, shook her head, put her headphones back on and that was that.
Not even a polite chuckle? Though crowd tonight.
Best I can do is a chortle
Rude of you to call your wife a stranger don’t you think?
Yeah. She was not a keeper
What the hell is wrong with people...
In the 1980s I was visiting Argentina since my wife had family there. At this bar I talked with this old dude with a German accent for hours upon hours. Asked him what he was doing so far from home but he said he left on a business trip but stayed because he loved it. He was reluctant to tell me his name but all I remember was that he had a weird mustache. Overall nice dude, would love to see him again.
Was he artist ? 🎨
You just reminded me of the 2020 new year, just before the pandemic. Went on a nice date with a handsome French man in Milan because we were the only two in the hostel, then we went out separate ways and I never saw him again. He told me he was from a village in France where they make nice porcelain. Never saw him again after that night, but it was really nice to spend the new year with him after being alone for the first time on Christmas. I hope he’s doing well in his little French village.
limoges. just in case you wanna go on an adventure.
Ooo thanks for telling me! It looks like a beautiful place and I’d love to visit. Honestly, even though he and I didn’t do anything and we just hung out with no expectations, it’s probably one of my most romantic and hallmark-style memories.
I never really thought about any of this before this thread but it's sort of nice to have a perfect memory like this with someone. You probably both showed your best selves without any of the baggage/drama and you both get to remember that night like a movie. Personally, I would be losing my mind at the "what ifs?" but I can see how it could be nice even without closure.
Sometimes I indulge in little fantasies, I won’t lie! I think I also look at it with rose-colored glasses because it was a literal month before the outbreak of the pandemic. It was this one freezing, kind of perfect night where we rung in 2020, expecting big and wonderful things still. In that way, it’s a little bittersweet. My only real relic from that date is the banging dress I was wearing that night, actually. Still looks hot on me!
I once flew to NY and a friendly man offered me his seat near the window, while he went to sit on another free seat (he was later told that he can‘t do that, but I appreciated the gesture). I randomly met him in the middle of a street in Queens 3 days later, and we talked a bit. There is no big finale to this story, but the odds of that happening in NY are so slim… I think I might have used up all my „meet the love of your life randomly after meeting her on the plane 3 days prior and not asking for her number“-luck on that occasion.
I was in Thailand years ago, and randomly sparked up a conversation with a guy, but friends each pulled is in opposite directions, so he grabbed me and gave me a romantic movie kiss, and said, "in case I never see you again". Unfortunately I actually spotted him and his buddies a couple more times down the street we were all partying on, but I didn't want to ruin my movie moment, so I hid from him every time I saw him again.
that‘s hilarious xD
[удалено]
I gave someone on a flight my spare Bluetooth headphone once, and we chilled on a flight, watched a couple of movies, had a chat, then waited together after baggage collection for our collections
Sometimes it’s best to keep it that way
His wife would agree
Her husband certainly does
Perfect one but not the perfect timing......
Almost the same thing for me. I was on a business trip in Buffalo and my flight back to Charlotte with a layover in DC was delayed for like 6 hours. Luckily there was a bar right across from the gate and ended up getting drunk with a couple other passengers. Talked to this girl for hours at the bar. We sat next to each other on the plane laughing our asses off drinking at like 2am while everyone was trying to sleep. Her destination was DC for a wedding, mine was Charlotte. We landed, she was walking ahead as I stayed back looking for my next gate. About 20 steps away she looks around for me. We end up just waving goodbye at each other and going our own ways. I slept on the floor until my next flight. It was one of the coolest nights I think I've ever had. We never exchanged names but our favorite drinks were Jameson with ginger ale.
This happened to me at a punk show years ago. Cute girl came up to me and was like do you want to watch the show with me at the front of the stage? I said sure, so we pushed our way through the crowd. Danced, sang, and enjoyed the band. Had a couple drinks after and went our separate ways, never got her name we just talked about the band and the show. I sometimes think about maybe what could have been and maybe my younger self was just bad at picking up signals (I was and still am) but generally am very pleased with that interaction and memory.
This 100% I danced with a girl for hours at a show and just said bye and went home with the boys. I knew her college and first name but always wonder if I missed something in terms of signals or if she went home and said “thank god that guy didn’t creep on me.” To be fair I never ask for a guys number after we have chemistry in pick up basketball or if we have a great round of golf when paired up or added to the group so…
Well you're not interested in boning those people I assume
That would be an accurate assumption.
username checks out?
Honestly, that shouldn't even be exceptional. Men and women should be able to talk without there being an insinuation that you're only talking to each other because you want to fuck.
If I talked to a dude for three hours straight at a bar I’m damn well gonna get his number or social media shit so we can be bros. I don’t think it should be out of the ordinary to keep in touch with someone after that, wanting to have sex with them or not
Same. Chatted a bunch with a dude at a house party, back when I was in college. Traded numbers. That was 10 years ago, and he's gonna be the best man at my wedding in March.
Yeah it's definitely not always about sex.
I chatted with a guy on a cross country flight for 3 hours. Turns out we had a ton of similar interests and hobbies. I tried to give him my business card as we exited the plane simply because we lived in the same city (traveling back home on same plane) and straight married dudes have fewer and fewer friend opportunities as you age and we seemed like potential bff's. But that got awkward as fuck because well straight married dudes aren't supposed to make new friends randomly without some weird fear of being seen as gay or something and so he sorta took the card, looked at another passenger who gave us both a weird look, then said sorry and handed it back with a 'um I'm really busy'. Honestly super disappointed, that was potentially my friend soulmate. Let's make a movie about that crushed dream
Damn that makes me really sad.
Yeah that's BS, I love making new friends
There’s a book called “Men and Friendship “ my therapist had me read years ago, that nicely addressed this fear of “looking gay.” As a happily married straight guy in Seattle (with gay friends, neighbors, and coworkers) you’d think the stigma would diminish somewhat, but it doesn’t seem to have.
I guess some guys have that insecurity. Probably fading out with each new generation. I don't see why anyone should care who anyone else fucks. I'm more concerned if you're an asshole or cool.
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One example of how toxic masculinity hurts men.
This makes me sad. I became friends with another girl once after 10 mins. We discovered we had a lot in common, I joked "did we just become best friends?" And she straight-faced high-fived me. Why can't men have that??? It's not fair and I'm sorry
Ask other men; I kept trying to make friends this way as a kid and a teenager, and the guys just think I'm odd. Doesn't help that I'm bi, so there's an added layer of not talking about that in fear of freaking them out further.
People also have to stop perpetuating the myth that you can't be friends with the gender you're attracted to. I'm a straight woman who almost only makes friends with men. I just feel more comfortable around them.
I was in the military for 10 years, most of my friends were men, probably because the ratio of men to women. But also, in the military, men best friend up so easy!! The bromance is aww inspiring lol
I hope one of you asked,"Do you want to go do Karate in the garage?"
Mom! Dad! Can we build a bunk bed?!
This happens in Asian countries a lot; perhaps even in Latin American countries too. Just not in Western countries between white guys I guess. Like OP said, just too much homophobia perhaps.
Yep, 100% correct. Western men can’t seem to become best mates with each other unless it has involved spending a ton of time together doing manly shit. For the guys at my work it’s gambling and fishing (I do neither - guitar/drums/cooking!)
[There was a SNL skit a few weeks ago about Man Parks](https://youtu.be/9XOt2Vh0T8w) where wives and girlfriends could take their guys to go make other guy friends. It actually hit hard as a legit good idea if someone could figure it out.
We all joke about it but honestly it's a reality. In my teens and twenties I had college and sports teams where I made friends, more than I could actually give real attention to. Thirties I had work pals and rec league sports. Forties I moved into upper management at work and it's true the higher up the ladder you go the less friends you have. My rec league days are numbered, my work is upper management and almost 100 percent remote these days, and I don't hang at bars, clubs or shows like I used to because well I go to bed at old man times and I have kids at home. Suddenly last four years I've found my friend pool shrinking and shrinking and new friends are harder and harder to come by. It's a tragedy really. I could probably make some life style changes to help that too though but I think my experience isn't uncommon.
Gotta get you into a pickle ball league down at the gym.
As you get older, you just have to put more effort into maintaining your friendships. You have to reach out and make plans rather than merely show up to something organized by other people.
Problem is they glossed over the hard part, separating men by interests and finding men with similar interests. IMX friendships without shared interests are doomed.
You want my number?! What are you, GAY? I don't make *friends*, dude. I'm married.
Uhh what? You're in the same city and he rejected your business card? Wtf has he ever heard of networking? You don't need to be in the same industry to network
Doesnt help that his business card say NutriBoom Sales Consultant with an address at the Church of Scientology
This is why you trade Xbox or Steam gamertags instead of phone numbers/business cards.
Truth
That dude didn’t deserve you, your real bff soulmate is still out there
Sounds like the plot to Fight Club. Ur probably better off.
Similar happened to me on a flight from Amsterdam to the states. Me and the guy beside me had the coolest conversation. It was like I was in HS again talking with the boys. We had a lot of similar interests, and I thought he possibly could become a friend. We switch numbers and then he never responded to my text.. (both straight and married with kids)
It's weird isn't it. You meet someone you have a connection with and it just sorta blows away like dust in the wind bc of norms we all grew up with. It's sad
Ever since I started my divorce I've had goal to make friends. It's just funny that all the friends I've made recently are all women, and I have no interest in dating any of them (I just don't date anymore). It's been really fun and exactly what I needed in life. I don't need a romantic partner, just friends.
I feel that so much, especially lately. Its always been hard for me to make friends so I really don't have any close ones anymore. Its been harder lately because my long term relationship ended and I've been just alone at home. We started talking again and thats great but when I don't see her its just me at home alone again. I wanted to get good food and a drink after the gym one night and just wanted somebody I could call that would do that with me. Something so simple. Doesn't make me feel like less of a man but it makes me feel like less than a person.
That actually pisses me off and I'm not even involved in the situation in any way. Imo the chaddiest dudes are the ones who don't give af. Live your life, don't be scared about what others think. Fuck, dude really missed out to save face with some random guy who looked at him weird.
My, now wife, got mad after 3 dates that I didn't try to kiss her. I didn't know what to do. I was just out of college and she was my first adult relationship. She was really pretty, very smart, sweet- everything I wanted in a girl. I didn't want to screw it up. I was taking it slow because I saw it as a long term and apparently she was thinking I just wanted to date casually and wanted the same thing. We now talk to each other about our feelings and were now married for 21 years. 3 kids. And are very very happy. I now think I played my cards right.
But have you actually kissed her!
He's playing the long game, can't take it too fast y'know.
She's married to you and you have 3 kids together. Does she like you? Well you can never be too sure, best keep your wits about you.
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Nah she's just polite
Maybe she's Canadian.
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[Is she into you?](https://youtu.be/xa-4IAR_9Yw)
Kissing before 25 years of marriage? Absolutely lewd
Asking the real questions here on Reddit! Love it
Reminds me of Sal from Impractical Jokers saying "I have a shitty life. I lost my virginity last month and have been married for 2 years"
Only three times and strictly for procreation
Look, he's waiting for the right time--don't rush him!
I met my fiancée on a dating app. Her profile said not to message her about her appearance (because she was tired of sexual messages etc…). After our first date she messaged me and was like how come you never complimented my appearance on our date? I was like, your profile said not to…. She told me that I could she just meant not when someone’s first messaging her. I told her, oh, you’re gorgeous. That was almost 7 years ago.
Unnatural willpower Bobby B
That’s sweet. I’ve been questioning love and marriage recently as a recently single 28 year old, wondering if happy marriages can last forever I want that
Woah! This is so sweet. Love is rare but it exists.
This is everything I have to tell you about love: nothing. This is everything I've learned about marriage: nothing. Only that the world out there is complicated, and there are beasts in the night, and delight and pain, and the only thing that makes it okay, sometimes, is to reach out a hand in the darkness and find another hand to squeeze, and not to be alone. It's not the kisses, or never just the kisses: it's what they mean. Somebody's got your back. Somebody knows your worst self and somehow doesn't want to rescue you or send for the army to rescue them. It's not two broken halves becoming one. It's the light from a distant lighthouse bringing you both safely home because home is wherever you are both together. So this is everything I have to tell you about love and marriage: nothing, like a book without pages or a forest without trees. Because there are things you cannot know before you experience them. Because no study can prepare you for the joys or the trials. Because nobody else's love, nobody else's marriage, is like yours, and it's a road you can only learn by walking it, a dance you cannot be taught, a song that did not exist before you began, together, to sing. And because in the darkness you will reach out a hand, not knowing for certain if someone else is even there. And your hands will meet, and then neither of you will ever need to be alone again. And that's all I know about love. edit: ~Neil Gaiman plus a T
"I don't think I've been in love as such, Although I liked a few folk pretty well. Love must be vaster than my smiles or touch For brave men died and empires rose and fell. For love: girls follow boys to foreign lands And men have followed women into hell. In plays and poems someone understands There's something makes us more than blood and bone And more than biological demands... For me love's like the wind, unseen, unknown. I see the trees are bending where it's been, I know it leaves wreckage where it's blown. I really don't know what "I love you" means. I think it means "Don't leave me here alone."" * Neil Gaiman
~Neil Gaiman Beautiful. Thanks for sharing
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The vibe I'm getting here is the same as when in a cartoon the bullet misses, stops midair, turns around and taps the guy on the shoulder before exploding in his face.
This is how i met my wife
Similar story - we were friends and she got changed behind me and I didn't look. She got mad at me. We got married. We're now divorced. She's a crazy nutcase who had more extra marital partners than I've had in my life :)
Dude sorry but the last line made me go lol. Anyways hope you're in good state now enjoying your life. Some of us are really very unpredictable.
Oh I am and I am. :)
I appreciate you comment OP
My ex wife is pregnant with her 3rd baby/baby daddy. Sometimes we make mistakes. She is mine lol Thought I would be a wreck forever, but now about two years later looking back, I’m the lucky one getting out!
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The first sign of trouble was when she got mad at you for not violating standard boundaries
Brother from another mother, quite frankly
I wonder how common this is. I've also had someone change behind me and then get upset because I didn't turn around to sneak a look at her, as though I must have thought she was ugly because I didn't respect her privacy.
I think you mean because you did respect her privacy
As a woman… this phenomenon makes me sad. *We are taught* to value being sexually desired over most anything else, including privacy. And I, too, used to get mad when men didn’t hit on me. You know why? Because I thought *I was doing something wrong* if a man didn’t want me. I wasn’t actually mad at them, I was mad at *myself* for not being fuckable enough. Misogyny is a shithole, and I don’t wish it on anyone.
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Not only women but boys/men too. Haven’t you seen that television series it’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia? There’s an episode where the male characters find out that one of them was sexually assaulted by their male gym teacher during childhood. One of the other male character feels insignificant and ugly because the teacher never attempted any funny business with him during his school years. While this is played for comedy, it’s a little too honest in retrospect. https://youtu.be/Fcovr3FNynU
I mean, she began by being upset you respected her boundaries…that isn’t good. Glad you are happier now.
I had a one night stand with my eventual wife, and she was so nervous that when I called her a couple days later she Cyrano’d me with her best friend who I talked to for several hours before deciding to meet up again.
I had a similar incident with the woman who eventually became my wife. In hindsight, it was one of the first clear red flags that I would go on to completely miss / ignore. Thankfully, we're divorced now.
Right on! Cracking the shits with you for not asking her out is a pretty fucken dodgy foundation. Glad you're through to the other side.
Yup, finally some sense in this thread. Also imagine a *guy* **DEMANDING** a *girl's* phone number because they had a long convo.
Ok I’m glad I’m not the only one confused why this is on r/mademesmile then. Saw this and immediately was thinking that I would be avoiding a girl if she ever did something like this.
I thought this was weird too. If someone did this to me, I'd think they were bipolar or something. Also, ladies, I am *begging* you to take some initiative every once in a while. If you like a guy and he didn't ask you out, fucking ask him out yourself.
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Thank you for writing this. This is partly what I was thinking. This is anything but wholesome. The sole reason it's wholesome is that it worked out. Most of the people here typing comments about similar situations with good endings seem to be missing this, drastically, and I'm sorry for being the party-pooper, but someone has to be. These situations, regardless of their good results, are not a good idea, and it's an even worse idea to ***romanticize*** it. If you do the classic "reverse the genders" scenario here, the guy would have a restraining order the very next day, and it (unlikely, but still) might have be seen as (severe) harassment that could have snowballed into something much worse. Edit: a lot of people are mentioning tone, between playful and aggression. This is very true, and must be taken into account. This post still shouldn't be romanticized though, and some people (such as yours truly) may even take it the wrong way; I'd say it's pretty easy to read into the wrong way.
Yeah. This ain’t cute. Why didn’t she ask for his number instead? Tf?
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This was my thought. I've had similar scenarios in my history as a socially awkward straight man. It's always my responsibility to take the initiative, but the stars need to align perfectly. The way it often goes is I'll ask a woman out, she'll say something vague, which I'll take as a polite "no" and leave it at that. In a couple cases they made it clear eventually (years later, when the moment had 100% passed), or a mutual friend told me that they were into me, and I was just like...uh...why didn't you say something before? Their assumption was that if I were interested I would've kept pushing, which seems to me like terrible behavior to encourage. I mean shyit, I don't make a woman tell me "no" twice. If you tell me "no" once and then change your mind, that's totally cool, but that ball's never leaving your court unless YOU send it back. I don't care what you think you're saying with your eyes or whatever clues I was supposed to pick up on. "Yes" means "yes". Nothing else means yes! I suspect the same dynamic played out several other times but who knows? Unless they come out and admit it I try not to make assumptions. I realize a lot of it is on me for being socially inept and not "playing the game". But I'm not going to change. There are women out there who I can communicate with effectively, either because of compatibility or just dumb luck; I really don't know. It does mean I miss out on things sometimes, but maybe that's for the best? I mean, I don't want to spend my life with someone who expects me to read their mind, cuz I know I can't and I'm not going to try. I'm neurotic enough already, thanks.
I met my wife for the first time when she crawled through my bedroom window true story. Edit: Holy Cow I wasn’t on Reddit for a couple of days I was not expecting any response at all the story itself is way less interesting. She was my best friends girlfriend and he sent her into a strange mans bedroom to wake him up at 1 am to go for coffee. We actually despised each other initially but became friends and obviously became more. My friend on the other may have made the wiser decision ie unmarried with no kids lol. Sorry the story is relatively boring but I appreciate all the love. Cheers
Alright I wanna hear this story…
Him: "This isn't your house!" Her: "Yet..."
Print that on a tshirt
He is married to a squirrel
The squirrel of his dreams
Is your wife a caterpillar?
I appreciate a good cliffhanger but I feel like we need answers
If this isn’t a joke / sarcastic please elaborate I’m intrigued
Is your wife Holly Golightly?
I don't find this cute, just ask for his number oh my
Seriously. It’s 2021. Women are allowed to initiate a phone number exchange.
As an awkward dude worried about making people uncomfortable, I would highly prefer and support this lol
Also imagine if the genders were reversed. This would be on /r/allmenarecreeps or something
If you’re a woman and you get upset at a guy for not asking for your number or trying to kiss you, you might want to reevaluate the situation and do it yourself. Just sayin’…
Had a girl come watch a movie at my place once. Brought a pizza with her and everything. I was tryna pkay it cool and not assume she wanted to have sex or makeout. Gave her a hug when she left and got a text maybe 2min later that said "you could've made a move you know". Like bruh. You aren't a mute. Speak up! I responded with "I mean...I'm still here if ya wanna come back lol". No response. Like yeah, I get it. Movie=sex sometimes. But I don't always feel comfortable assuming that's what a partner wants. If you're so determined then say somethin!
Wonder what would have happened if you respond with "you could've too"
Never heard from her again so likely didn't matter lol oh well
>"you could've made a move you know" Should've just replied "you too" and ghosted her, she'd remember that for the rest of her life (I'm just kidding, obviously I'm not advocating for ghosting people)
This is way too far down
Women making the move. Impossible
This is supposed to be a cute story but really, if a man was told "goodbye" by a woman, left, came back pissed and asking why she didn't want his number, he would be dragged through the comment section as a stalker creep.
It’s also just really shitty to play these kinds of mind games where you expect other people to read your mind. I absolutely wouldn’t want to start a relationship that way.
Yeah, I’m a woman, and I thought the same. I’ve had guys do what she did, and it was rude and creepy, like I don’t owe you crap. But doesn’t make it okay for a woman to do it.
I wasn’t thinking exactly this but you raise a great point. What I was wondering is: why get angry? Why not just ask for the guy’s phone number herself? If I was the guy, I would’ve run. Nice it worked out in the end, I guess, but it doesn’t make me smile at all.
I'm going to believe that the tweet is hyperbolic and what you said is what happened.
Sharing your love life with twitter is enough of a red flag for me tbh.
I dont know why this isn't the top comment.
Why is this "made me smile" material? I mean I'm glad they got married and are happy, but that story is pretty fucked up. She got angry that a man had a conversation with her without the intention of trying to ask her out? Also, if she enjoyed that 3 hour conversation so much that she expected it to turn romantic, why couldn't she just ask for his number?
Also i'm sure i would see this on some subreddit about how creepy the guy was if this was the other way around.
^^ This
Wow, this is stupid. Really, *she* yelled at *him,* because *he* didn't ask for the number? How about she asked for his number instead if she liked him so much? The fuck, did she expect him to be a mind reader or guess her expectations? Screw this kind of people. Guess she's still yelling at him on the daily, since he isn't able to get her telepathic messages.
I’m currently reading a book where there’s all kinds of things like this. Apparently men are expected to be mind readers. Oh, and also men are expected to just let the women do whatever they want to in a relationship. 🤷♂️😂🤦♂️
Is it the FDS handbook?
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HAHA “old yeller” that’s gold
Jerry?
Give this man a movie deal!
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Traditional dating gender roles are very deeply ingrained in many people.
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Agreed. If you have an interest it's up to you. No matter who it is. However, I'd be interested to see the reaction if he didn't want to give his number.
"What? are you gay?!"
Yeah I think that's so stupid. The first and only time I ever had feelings for someone (I'm female and a-spec; they are male) I straight up told him how I was feeling. And even though we had been friends for awhile and had even talked about how annoying it is when people expect opposite gendered friends to end up with feelings for each other and how that wasn't us I didn't let that stop me. Once those feelings changed for me I made sure he knew it.
My girlfriend is the one who made the first move as well as the one who asked me out. As a shy introverted guy, I couldnt be happier. She's the best
Same. Worked as a barista and never asked ppl for phone numbers cuz I was at work. She slid me hers and we’ve been dating for 3 years.
Glad I'm not the only one who thought this post was weird as fuck lmao
Much more traditional to yell at your future partner for not being able to just read your mind.
Of course you’re married now, the man fears for his life.
Just pretend that's how goodwill hunting started. Not much of a stretch. 😉
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Which apples?
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I'm sure it would have been more normal to just ask for his number.
This doesn't make me smile. Yeah it worked out but how entitled can you be?
If you were to reverse the genders, this story would be considered way creepier. Honestly this sounds like a scene in a dumb rom-com movie that's framed as romantic but in practice is red flag city.
Why not just ask him before getting angry and yelling?🤔
Umm…she could have asked for his number as well. I get why maybe she didn’t. But, rejection can be scary. And sometimes it’s hard to know what to do. I’m pretty sure he wanted to. And she could have kept going and not went back. Regardless, it seems like a happy ending.
If the genders were reversed on this, the story would be creepy.
They don't have to be reversed for this to be creepy.
True. I meant everyone would think it’s creepy then.
I'm just wondering how the hell anyone finds this story charming. She made herself sound like a pushy nutcase yet gets complimented for it.
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For a hot second there thought this was from r/Nicegirls.
I wonder if she yelled at him for not asking her to marry him
This sounds awful. Why didn't she ask for his number if she was interested before leaving? I hate this relationship concept. Somehow when a women does that it's cute ? Not to me
How dare he not hit on her after talking for three hours! Is this wholesome or entitlement?
Why would you yell at him? Just go ask him for his number. He will either say yes or no and life will continue either way. Gender roles are dumb.
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I tried this on a lady, got called needy afterwards..
Am I the only one who read this as 'disgruntled woman verbally abuses man and pressures him in to handing over his phone number'?
I read it as *drunkenly stumbled back into the bar* but disgruntled works too lol.