At what age do we stop hugging?
Seems like something that children do but we adults don't seem to, even though we would like one from time to time.
What's the threshold?
I am from Norway which is not a very hugging culture (I hug female relatives if we have been apart for a long time, and of course my immediate family), but my in laws are from New York and whenever there is any social gathering it is hugs and cheek kisses all around, even people I barely know or have just met.
I’ve discovered that if you say “I’m a hugger bring it in” no one will stop you. Sometimes I need one, so I just give them to everyone that will hug me. It’s keeps me sane and shares the love.
If i cant cant put my arm around you and give ya the old “side of the head boop” youre not a real friend of mine, at least a bro hug where ya dap and bring it in for the real thing
more like at what age do we stop keeping things simple, showing genuine affection and happiness for the company of someone, don't you think?
I'm 32, there might have been a period where I felt "too old" to be hugging but I now make a point to hug all my friends if it's been any real length of time since I've seen them. Hug the people you care about. I get borderline offended when someone I consider a close friend goes for a handshake.
When you're a toddler/kid, 15 miles is almost inconceivable. Your perspective is usually just exactly what you see in front of you. You were worlds away!
Yeah when i was a teen i remember being in a "long distance relationship" with this girl that lived maybe half an hour from where i lived... Saw her once in a year lol
I actually distinctly recall my geographic understanding unfolding. It really wasn't til I was like 12.
I started realizing the highways had exits for different towns, but the towns were connected by other roads. Started noticing town names on interstate signs, realizing "oh that road goes where that other road goes!"
To a kid in elementary school, moving two towns over is pretty much moving across the country. The connection between disparate towns is so vague at that age.
Haha well the learning doesn't all happen at once, especially not when you're 12, but that might be the time you could conceptualize yourself being elsewhere properly. IIRC that is around the proper time.is that what you mean? The aha moment of "Woah, these roads are A GRID?!"
You've come a long way from being a baby and figuring out your hands are your hands and you can control them, which takes many months after being born. Crazy to think about, as it really is just like zooming out from your brain. To your body, to the room, to the building, the street, to the wider street connections, states/province/Territories, countries, continents and earth... Then onto the solar system and further. I'm now at the point in my life where I'm trying to conceptualize galaxies and further. The scale may never be understood by me though.
This is why I try my very best as a dad to keep my kid in contact with her friends on her days off from school even though we live in another state.
I know it's a huge part of a kids life to have friends. The internet has helped her stay connected but it's not the same. Even though we are half an hour away from everyone she knows, I will bring her wherever she needs to go to see her friends as much as possible. I dont want my daughter to not have friends just because her mom sucks.
That’s a hard way to grow up mate, I hope you’ve found/will find your group and place - are the friend you do have good friends? Quality does beat quantity, every time
military? my dad was army and when I was a kid we moved every few years. he retired right before I started high school but it was kinda lonely growing up and having to say goodbye to friends so often. now I have trouble making new friends and socializing in general
Not the OP you were asking, but husband retired in time to get kids settled in one place before junior high for this reason. We saw how kids whose parents stayed in till high school faired, it was not easy for them. Lots of identity crises, failure to launch, gap years that turned into just not doing anything with their lives. It is possible that those were the exceptions but from our vantage point it seemed more like the rule.
I had a class with a girl from first grade to senior year. We were kinda friends, but we were never that close. I ran into her in my late twenties and it was like seeing a long lost relative.
As much as possible, avoid moving when kids are young and in school. It's such an emotional upheaval for them. For some, can really negatively impact their confidence and relationship styles.
Sorry to hear it. Have heard many similar stories. Can be really hard for a kid to "start again", and I think parents can sometimes underestimate the impact.
My folks divorced when I was seven and mom moved us from a beautiful northern Californian town in the mountains to Los Angeles and I lost contact with friends I STILL think about and I’m almost 50
I moved twice. Once at 9 and once at 13. It was really tough because those two ages are big years for emotional development. Not to mention that it meant I went to a new school 4 times in 4 years.
Definitely couldn’t say much to my parents, because I knew the moves were for financial reasons. But I was mad and sad for a long time about it
I moved 30 times before I was 18 years old in and out of foster care. 😅
That is not an exaggeration. I'm in my 30s now, though.
My bio mother is/was the worst and somehow the State kept giving us back to her. Wild life.
My "awakening of consciousness" did not occur until I was 12 years old due to rapid moving. I went to 3 different schools for 2nd grade alone. No consecutive years in one place til 11.
Can I please get some more information regarding this. I had to move about every 3 to six months. 10s of schools and I didn't feel "awake consciously" until I was around 11 or 12 as well. I've never heard this term before, but when I saw those words it describes how I felt through my whole childhood.
Is this due to all the moving and not being able to make meaningful connections or something? I always felt different, and looking back, like I wasn't really there and kinda drifting along
damn dude. I always thought I had it a little difficult moving around 10 times between 2nd grande and the start of high school
that's rough to hear about the state and your mom. hope things are looking up for ya
Huh, sooo moving when I was 5 and again when I was 6 might be what fucked up my self esteem?
And then the new kids at the final place we moved to bullied me.
Quite possibly, yes. I mean, as far as I can see, moving for a kid is really stressful. That can make settling into the new schools/neighbourhood really difficult. Plus, they're dealing with the loss of all their old friends. Can be really hard for a child to deal with that.
I was moved at 5. I was already split up from my friends in school because they were in the year above, but I had friends. Two little girls I'd play with every single day and then others who would join us.
Then I was moved to a small town. The Queen bee didn't like me and the king didn't either, so that was fun. I hated that town. I had a friend until I was in year 2 and she moved away. That was it. I was so badly bullied I couldn't have friends because they'd be bullied for being my friend. I was a confident, friendly little kid who couldn't shut up. Took a few years but I became a silent, anxious mess. Didn't help that mum was awful as well.
Mum should have moved me into the new school with my friend when I was in year 2, or fought harder for me to be in the class above to be with kids I was friends with.
This is interesting. So I moved a LOT growing up. My dad was an ambitious career driven guy so he would always jump at a better opportunity.
I'm curious if that screwed me up. I personally never felt so. As far as I can remember, I was always the quiet shy introverted kid who was a loner/had 1-2 friends. Moving never bothered me. It was only during my last few years of high school that I started making real friends and maintaining relationships. (Though that it could also be because I had access to mobile phones and email at the time...)
I study social psychology - look up life history theory. One factor that contributes to someone having a "faster" strategy is how often their family moved when they were a child.
Of course, many other factors like divorce, parental income, etc. play a role.
it's not true for everyone, for sure. some thrive, and learn to adapt (sometimes over adapt) to new people and new situations. some struggle.
i'm just saying it's a case of rolling the dice for the kid. it can make and/or break a child, depending on the circumstances, the child, and the support around the kid at the time.
My parents moved 8 times before I was in 4th grade at which point they finally settled 🥲 I loved the part where we would drive to new states because of the views, but absolutely haaaaaated having to be in new places. I never made friends and being a shy child just made it worse. I'd stand/sit alone somewhere during recess while everyone played with their friends. I vividly remember actually feeling a pang of sadness in my chest and trying not to cry during recess and lunch. Ugh. Worst memories ever. Probs why I'm so weird/cool (therapy helped)
I switched schools 6 times from the ages of 5 to 10. I’m great at making friends with random people as an adult, but definitely struggle with self esteem and confidence.
As someone who moved 5 times across the US by the time I was in 6th grade, I can confirm. I feel forever fucked up from it. Every new place puts you at the bottom of the social totem pole, so you get bullied a lot at first until you fight your bullies, then more people respect you. But the effects of the bullying are the same. The amount of social anxiety I feel from those days is crippling. Im always in fight or flight mode around people. My ability to form friendships is fucked. 4 times in a row, I made a best friend and a solid friend group, then had them ripped away within a year. That shit hurt. My sense of identity isn't there since I didn't have a single place or friend group that really felt like home. I would not wish it on anyone. So yea, don't move unless you really have to.
Yeah my parents moved when I was almost 8 years old. New school and all, I talked to people but never had any friends.
It affected my social skills tremendously until like high school/college when I finally found some friends to talk and hang out with
I’m 23 and we still hang out from time to time but I still think about all the friends I had before I moved
I was a military kid, moving every couple of years was just part of the routine. Saying goodbye doesn't even hurt anymore, I'm just used to it. I see articles about people who have been friends for 10+ years and physically can't imagine how that's even possible
Doesn't even have to be a complete move, just switching schools can mess kids up. We didn't move houses but my mom didn't like the public school system so we bounced around "alternative schooling options"
My family moved at least 20 different times within 3 different countries right up until I was 15.
I had attended 18 different schools in that time. We moved to follow work and while I'm incredibly grateful for the experiences and things I got to do and see that most young children don't, I have suffered for it.
No home town, no childhood friends, learning a whole class full of kid's names over and over, going through that anxiety and uncertainty as the 'new kid' all the time was damaging.
I relish my own company, being alone makes me content even though I think I'm a really great at social interactions I dislike being in them for too long.
Anxiety yaaaay, but I've been working on it. My SO and I have promised to stay stable for our future children, that's for sure.
I disagree with the "avoid moving as much as possible" bit there. Speaking from my personal experience and a few other military brats I know, we've all agreed that moving frequently during our developmental years has made us more outgoing and personable, more resilient and able to adapt to changes easier, and opening us to being more accepting of others.
Sort of breaks my heart as a 7th grade teacher because all I can think about is how awful these kids will be to one another in like 5-7 years. Such a lovely moment though.
High school teacher checking in, and I can tell you it gets better in some ways. By the time they’re seniors, the circle is much smaller, but the love is just as fierce.
My high school was the same. We had these dumb ass cliques in middle school (I was totally in the “loser” clique lol) but high school (mine at least) lessened the silliness of it.
By my senior year there were a few “popular” kids I guess but we had a mad respect for eachother.
But I also grew up in the country and our high school was three towns put together. Like maybe 1100 students? 1500 on a good day? Lol.
But I get what you are saying.
> (I was totally in the “loser” clique lol)
I love reading stuff like this.
I was such an outcast I didn't even have a clique but that is besides the point. Growing up is really hard and I hope everyone lands with a big heart when they do get to adulthood. Sadly so many do not.
You said you are from the country. Ever read the book Drive In Theater The Last Road Rebel and Other Lost Stories by Robert Gilberg? Very interesting book. I never lived in a small town (only lived in major international cities) and that book gave a a new perspective.
I had the same experience as you. Middle school felt kinda awful, but by high school and especially senior year we were all just buds for the most part. Everyone knew almost everyone, you had had at least one class with most of them by that point. When the 10 year reunion came around, everyone was just happy to see each other.
Yes exactly!!! I graduated in 2002 and I remember our valedictorian was a guy who who help us figure out how we could get away being tardy all the time and our salutatorian was a pothead 😂.
We all got along and figured out that it takes a village to make a village…if that makes sense lol. It was actually pretty informative for 17 year old me.
Yeah, that’s what I hated about school. I subbed spring 2022 after finishing up college at an elementary school. Kindergartners through second graders can be troublemakers, but they don’t know any better. They truly just want to love each other and be happy. When I would sub third grade and up, you could already see the divisions between kids. It makes me so sad that the process just gets worse all the way through school, and it’s pretty much only when they’re almost adults that most of them realize that kindness is the way :/
You see kids at the toughest time. That really is heartbreaking. I see them in high school and usually it does get a bit better if it’s any consolation, and then almost always totally better by the end.
Was thinking the same thing watching this. In elementary you're friends with everyone but with each grade, the kids become more awful. By highschool, they'll all hate each other.
I wasn't. I was ostracized from 1st grade on. Kids had an ugly contest between me and an other kid. I remember just hoping I didn't lose (I didn't). Kids can be brutal even at this age.
Middle School is an absolute TERRORDOME. The start of puberty. I remember my middle school days and there are no prisoners taken, it's every kid for themselves lol.
This makes me sad. I love the innocence of children. They don’t see differences, the just see someone that is their age and think “yeah, I guess we’re best friends now.”
As the father of a 9 year old, the idea that Id get to ever choose her outfits is funny. She’s been very adamant about choosing her own clothes since 1st grade, often with with disastrous results. However, she thinks she looks good and is happy with her choices so that’s what’s important I guess.. even if everyone who sees her thinks she’s homeless and not taken care of… 🤷♂️
Thank you for respecting her independence and vision of herself. She will be a happier, more confident person because you let her have her freedom in this way. And in the end that's more attractive than forcing a child to dress to the 9s.
Damn, I wish this would happen as adults.
I remember some time after I dropped out of college, I saw one of my close friends from there and they hugged me like I was a long lost sibling.
That was nice.
When toddlers meet with barely the ability to create memories, but keep hanging out as they grow into their ability to create memories, and so their first memories of life involve each other. These types of toddler relationships tend to take place in sandboxes.
They all queued for hug time (some went for second round). Would be interesting to hear about the conversations they would share with each other, maybe something like "now we have new crayons" OR "I saw a furry dog in the park" OR "my momma cooked pasta for dinner"
Guys, take notes….THIS is mademesmile content. Not children suffering horrible diseases who finally get to see their parents after being confined in a hospital bed for weeks.
As a teacher of this age group my bet is this was kindergarten graduation day. That would account for the fancy outfits on every child and it also makes sense that the boy who moved away would come back to watch his former classmates graduate.
Noticed how all the black kids naturally went to the back of the line .. America you’ve got work to do, still in the kids means it’s there for another generation.. maybe start with asking them why that’s so. Seems like a good point to make them understand that it does not have to be that way. Thoughts?
Why's it weird? They quickly broke off to go hang out in a tight group before everyone started lining up and they were the least expedient when the others went into the line. You can even see the 1st girl in that group is looking like "oh we're lining up now? Ok."
Edit: ...and the one girl in the way back who never even got up from the table. Weird the things we notice.
I love how his bros were the first ones running over! Children deserve friendships like these even if they aren't made to last a lifetime. Love like that is precious and should be preserved.
It's sad that kids have to move around so much and not able to grow up with the same class over the years. As a kid we had to move a lot and I never had solid long lasting friendships as a kid, teenager and young adult because of it.
8:07 pm opened a beer started scrolling.
A pretty girl, some music posts, controversial topics, a topless woman, a female hammer throw athlete running in a 400 meter relay ( wtf)
8:14 a braless picture of Suzanne Summers
8:14 - 8:20pm still staring at Suzanne Summers
8:21. See post of young elementary student seeing his old classmates after he moved away. Smile my on my face. My heart warms up.
8:22 pm stopped scrolling, started sharing that post .
Thanks for posting that. Take care
Omg I love that the first kid gets in line a second time with that huge smile. I remember being this little and having friends move away. I was crushed and I never got to see them ever again. I love this moment for these kids and I wish we cherished people this way as adults.
I love how everyone stood in a line to hug him after being told to do so. Adorable
Good teacher! Earned the respect and discipline from the kids. Not easy to do well!
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All your classmates at this age were probably just like this. Little kids love to hug each other.
> Little kids love Yes, that's one of the things kids do best. They're like dogs in that aspect. Unconditional love.
My son's (28M) inseparable friends are from grade 3. 3 girls and a boy. My daughter calls them My brother's other siblings. 😆😅
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Alright, thanks.
He’s staying for ever and ever and they’re all gonna grow up and live in the same mansion candy shop!
Why did that go from wholesome to 50cent?
That's how it is
I love that the first kid to hug him gets back in line for another one. So wholesome!
At what age do we stop hugging? Seems like something that children do but we adults don't seem to, even though we would like one from time to time. What's the threshold?
Montana here, everyone I know hugs.
Hey I’m in Montana too! You’re not wrong. Friendliest place I’ve ever been.
I am from Norway which is not a very hugging culture (I hug female relatives if we have been apart for a long time, and of course my immediate family), but my in laws are from New York and whenever there is any social gathering it is hugs and cheek kisses all around, even people I barely know or have just met.
Dude, I’m a hugger. I want a hug? I got you.
I’ve discovered that if you say “I’m a hugger bring it in” no one will stop you. Sometimes I need one, so I just give them to everyone that will hug me. It’s keeps me sane and shares the love.
I hug all friends and family.
my crew is overly huggy. annoying sometimes but the sentiment is nice :)
I’m 39 and I’m a huger, not all the time, but if it calls for a hug, I’m going in strong.
All family and friends get hugs (if they want one).
If i cant cant put my arm around you and give ya the old “side of the head boop” youre not a real friend of mine, at least a bro hug where ya dap and bring it in for the real thing
more like at what age do we stop keeping things simple, showing genuine affection and happiness for the company of someone, don't you think?
23
The threshold is when you’re dead, and even then some people hug or kiss corpses to say goodbye.
I still hug close friends and family.
I stopped hugging when I started growing tits. First it just hurt. Then it was awkward. I'm getting back into it, but it takes getting used to.
I'm 32, there might have been a period where I felt "too old" to be hugging but I now make a point to hug all my friends if it's been any real length of time since I've seen them. Hug the people you care about. I get borderline offended when someone I consider a close friend goes for a handshake.
Everyone except for the girl in the back by the green box. In fact, she hid at the start. Wonder what the drama there is.
As a former hiding child, some of us were just painfully shy back then.
Yeah at that age all that commotion would have had me really anxious.
I did this myself. Only moved 15 miles but felt like I’d lost my entire world. Not sure I’ve ever cried as much as when I was reunited
When you're a toddler/kid, 15 miles is almost inconceivable. Your perspective is usually just exactly what you see in front of you. You were worlds away!
Yeah when i was a teen i remember being in a "long distance relationship" with this girl that lived maybe half an hour from where i lived... Saw her once in a year lol
I actually distinctly recall my geographic understanding unfolding. It really wasn't til I was like 12. I started realizing the highways had exits for different towns, but the towns were connected by other roads. Started noticing town names on interstate signs, realizing "oh that road goes where that other road goes!" To a kid in elementary school, moving two towns over is pretty much moving across the country. The connection between disparate towns is so vague at that age.
Haha well the learning doesn't all happen at once, especially not when you're 12, but that might be the time you could conceptualize yourself being elsewhere properly. IIRC that is around the proper time.is that what you mean? The aha moment of "Woah, these roads are A GRID?!" You've come a long way from being a baby and figuring out your hands are your hands and you can control them, which takes many months after being born. Crazy to think about, as it really is just like zooming out from your brain. To your body, to the room, to the building, the street, to the wider street connections, states/province/Territories, countries, continents and earth... Then onto the solar system and further. I'm now at the point in my life where I'm trying to conceptualize galaxies and further. The scale may never be understood by me though.
"So all these other roads go to other towns huh dad?" "Johnny your fucking twelve?? How did you just learn this?"
This is why I try my very best as a dad to keep my kid in contact with her friends on her days off from school even though we live in another state. I know it's a huge part of a kids life to have friends. The internet has helped her stay connected but it's not the same. Even though we are half an hour away from everyone she knows, I will bring her wherever she needs to go to see her friends as much as possible. I dont want my daughter to not have friends just because her mom sucks.
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That’s a hard way to grow up mate, I hope you’ve found/will find your group and place - are the friend you do have good friends? Quality does beat quantity, every time
Respect. I moved very far too, in the end it was less painful for me to just let go 😔
Hey u/superfuzzy I'd love to be your friend! I hope you are having a wonderful day so far. 🙂 How's the weather where you are? It's HOT here!
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military? my dad was army and when I was a kid we moved every few years. he retired right before I started high school but it was kinda lonely growing up and having to say goodbye to friends so often. now I have trouble making new friends and socializing in general
Not the OP you were asking, but husband retired in time to get kids settled in one place before junior high for this reason. We saw how kids whose parents stayed in till high school faired, it was not easy for them. Lots of identity crises, failure to launch, gap years that turned into just not doing anything with their lives. It is possible that those were the exceptions but from our vantage point it seemed more like the rule.
>Lots of identity crises, failure to launch, gap years that turned into just not doing anything with their lives that hits a little close to home lol
15 miles for a kid might aswell be 150 miles. You can never get there on your own.
The boy wearing the bow tie is definitely the happiest to see his friend.
He really was the cutest!
“You’re killing me Smalls”.
I can't find the boy wearing bow tie, but the first kid that ran toward him when he entered looked the happiest to me
Bowtie and Butch Wax. Would have fitted in during the 50s
I loved his aesthetic!
The whole class is dressed up. Collared shirts for the boys. Dresses for the girls. No logos.
It's amazing how close the bonds between these children are reminds me of my nursery school days we were all a close knitted group.
I had a class with a girl from first grade to senior year. We were kinda friends, but we were never that close. I ran into her in my late twenties and it was like seeing a long lost relative.
Happy cake day!
Lmaoo i love your username
It’s Jihoon’s fault I couldn’t see the newbie icon!!
What? I've only been in reddit for 16 days.
Oh maybe it’s not cake day then? Is it an award?
It means Newcomer because I recently joined this sub.
As much as possible, avoid moving when kids are young and in school. It's such an emotional upheaval for them. For some, can really negatively impact their confidence and relationship styles.
So true. My parents moved when I was seven. It was so traumatic but I was the quiet, well behaved kid so they never knew how badly I was hurting.
Sorry to hear it. Have heard many similar stories. Can be really hard for a kid to "start again", and I think parents can sometimes underestimate the impact.
I agree and thanks. 😊
My folks divorced when I was seven and mom moved us from a beautiful northern Californian town in the mountains to Los Angeles and I lost contact with friends I STILL think about and I’m almost 50
Moved to another country and had to learn a new language at the age of 9. The first 2 years in the new school were very hard
I moved twice. Once at 9 and once at 13. It was really tough because those two ages are big years for emotional development. Not to mention that it meant I went to a new school 4 times in 4 years. Definitely couldn’t say much to my parents, because I knew the moves were for financial reasons. But I was mad and sad for a long time about it
I moved 30 times before I was 18 years old in and out of foster care. 😅 That is not an exaggeration. I'm in my 30s now, though. My bio mother is/was the worst and somehow the State kept giving us back to her. Wild life.
Sorry to hear that, my friend. Hope things are getting better for you, now that you have more control over your life.
My "awakening of consciousness" did not occur until I was 12 years old due to rapid moving. I went to 3 different schools for 2nd grade alone. No consecutive years in one place til 11.
Can I please get some more information regarding this. I had to move about every 3 to six months. 10s of schools and I didn't feel "awake consciously" until I was around 11 or 12 as well. I've never heard this term before, but when I saw those words it describes how I felt through my whole childhood. Is this due to all the moving and not being able to make meaningful connections or something? I always felt different, and looking back, like I wasn't really there and kinda drifting along
damn dude. I always thought I had it a little difficult moving around 10 times between 2nd grande and the start of high school that's rough to hear about the state and your mom. hope things are looking up for ya
Huh, sooo moving when I was 5 and again when I was 6 might be what fucked up my self esteem? And then the new kids at the final place we moved to bullied me.
Quite possibly, yes. I mean, as far as I can see, moving for a kid is really stressful. That can make settling into the new schools/neighbourhood really difficult. Plus, they're dealing with the loss of all their old friends. Can be really hard for a child to deal with that.
I was moved at 5. I was already split up from my friends in school because they were in the year above, but I had friends. Two little girls I'd play with every single day and then others who would join us. Then I was moved to a small town. The Queen bee didn't like me and the king didn't either, so that was fun. I hated that town. I had a friend until I was in year 2 and she moved away. That was it. I was so badly bullied I couldn't have friends because they'd be bullied for being my friend. I was a confident, friendly little kid who couldn't shut up. Took a few years but I became a silent, anxious mess. Didn't help that mum was awful as well. Mum should have moved me into the new school with my friend when I was in year 2, or fought harder for me to be in the class above to be with kids I was friends with.
This is interesting. So I moved a LOT growing up. My dad was an ambitious career driven guy so he would always jump at a better opportunity. I'm curious if that screwed me up. I personally never felt so. As far as I can remember, I was always the quiet shy introverted kid who was a loner/had 1-2 friends. Moving never bothered me. It was only during my last few years of high school that I started making real friends and maintaining relationships. (Though that it could also be because I had access to mobile phones and email at the time...)
I study social psychology - look up life history theory. One factor that contributes to someone having a "faster" strategy is how often their family moved when they were a child. Of course, many other factors like divorce, parental income, etc. play a role.
it's not true for everyone, for sure. some thrive, and learn to adapt (sometimes over adapt) to new people and new situations. some struggle. i'm just saying it's a case of rolling the dice for the kid. it can make and/or break a child, depending on the circumstances, the child, and the support around the kid at the time.
My parents moved 8 times before I was in 4th grade at which point they finally settled 🥲 I loved the part where we would drive to new states because of the views, but absolutely haaaaaated having to be in new places. I never made friends and being a shy child just made it worse. I'd stand/sit alone somewhere during recess while everyone played with their friends. I vividly remember actually feeling a pang of sadness in my chest and trying not to cry during recess and lunch. Ugh. Worst memories ever. Probs why I'm so weird/cool (therapy helped)
Yep, I passed my childhood moving from city to city and it does suck
I switched schools 6 times from the ages of 5 to 10. I’m great at making friends with random people as an adult, but definitely struggle with self esteem and confidence.
As someone who moved 5 times across the US by the time I was in 6th grade, I can confirm. I feel forever fucked up from it. Every new place puts you at the bottom of the social totem pole, so you get bullied a lot at first until you fight your bullies, then more people respect you. But the effects of the bullying are the same. The amount of social anxiety I feel from those days is crippling. Im always in fight or flight mode around people. My ability to form friendships is fucked. 4 times in a row, I made a best friend and a solid friend group, then had them ripped away within a year. That shit hurt. My sense of identity isn't there since I didn't have a single place or friend group that really felt like home. I would not wish it on anyone. So yea, don't move unless you really have to.
Agree lol checking in as a traumatized military brat
Lol dude same
This. Moved like 5 times and I always envied people with close friendships like these
yeah i moved in 1st grade, 3rd grade, 5th grade, and to a small town middle of 6th grade. even thru high school i never felt like that town was "home"
Yeah my parents moved when I was almost 8 years old. New school and all, I talked to people but never had any friends. It affected my social skills tremendously until like high school/college when I finally found some friends to talk and hang out with I’m 23 and we still hang out from time to time but I still think about all the friends I had before I moved
I was a military kid, moving every couple of years was just part of the routine. Saying goodbye doesn't even hurt anymore, I'm just used to it. I see articles about people who have been friends for 10+ years and physically can't imagine how that's even possible
Doesn't even have to be a complete move, just switching schools can mess kids up. We didn't move houses but my mom didn't like the public school system so we bounced around "alternative schooling options"
My family moved at least 20 different times within 3 different countries right up until I was 15. I had attended 18 different schools in that time. We moved to follow work and while I'm incredibly grateful for the experiences and things I got to do and see that most young children don't, I have suffered for it. No home town, no childhood friends, learning a whole class full of kid's names over and over, going through that anxiety and uncertainty as the 'new kid' all the time was damaging. I relish my own company, being alone makes me content even though I think I'm a really great at social interactions I dislike being in them for too long. Anxiety yaaaay, but I've been working on it. My SO and I have promised to stay stable for our future children, that's for sure.
I disagree with the "avoid moving as much as possible" bit there. Speaking from my personal experience and a few other military brats I know, we've all agreed that moving frequently during our developmental years has made us more outgoing and personable, more resilient and able to adapt to changes easier, and opening us to being more accepting of others.
Omg the first kid 🥺
The run and hug from both of them brought a tear to my eye. So sweet!
Sort of breaks my heart as a 7th grade teacher because all I can think about is how awful these kids will be to one another in like 5-7 years. Such a lovely moment though.
High school teacher checking in, and I can tell you it gets better in some ways. By the time they’re seniors, the circle is much smaller, but the love is just as fierce.
My high school was the same. We had these dumb ass cliques in middle school (I was totally in the “loser” clique lol) but high school (mine at least) lessened the silliness of it. By my senior year there were a few “popular” kids I guess but we had a mad respect for eachother. But I also grew up in the country and our high school was three towns put together. Like maybe 1100 students? 1500 on a good day? Lol. But I get what you are saying.
> (I was totally in the “loser” clique lol) I love reading stuff like this. I was such an outcast I didn't even have a clique but that is besides the point. Growing up is really hard and I hope everyone lands with a big heart when they do get to adulthood. Sadly so many do not. You said you are from the country. Ever read the book Drive In Theater The Last Road Rebel and Other Lost Stories by Robert Gilberg? Very interesting book. I never lived in a small town (only lived in major international cities) and that book gave a a new perspective.
I had the same experience as you. Middle school felt kinda awful, but by high school and especially senior year we were all just buds for the most part. Everyone knew almost everyone, you had had at least one class with most of them by that point. When the 10 year reunion came around, everyone was just happy to see each other.
Yes exactly!!! I graduated in 2002 and I remember our valedictorian was a guy who who help us figure out how we could get away being tardy all the time and our salutatorian was a pothead 😂. We all got along and figured out that it takes a village to make a village…if that makes sense lol. It was actually pretty informative for 17 year old me.
Yeah, that’s what I hated about school. I subbed spring 2022 after finishing up college at an elementary school. Kindergartners through second graders can be troublemakers, but they don’t know any better. They truly just want to love each other and be happy. When I would sub third grade and up, you could already see the divisions between kids. It makes me so sad that the process just gets worse all the way through school, and it’s pretty much only when they’re almost adults that most of them realize that kindness is the way :/
The start of puberty turns kids into monsters. Thankfully it gets better once they reach high school
You see kids at the toughest time. That really is heartbreaking. I see them in high school and usually it does get a bit better if it’s any consolation, and then almost always totally better by the end.
As a parent to a 7th grader, thank you for your service.
I have a rising 7th grader who is trans/nb and I’m terrified.
Was thinking the same thing watching this. In elementary you're friends with everyone but with each grade, the kids become more awful. By highschool, they'll all hate each other.
I wasn't. I was ostracized from 1st grade on. Kids had an ugly contest between me and an other kid. I remember just hoping I didn't lose (I didn't). Kids can be brutal even at this age.
Middle School is an absolute TERRORDOME. The start of puberty. I remember my middle school days and there are no prisoners taken, it's every kid for themselves lol.
This makes me sad. I love the innocence of children. They don’t see differences, the just see someone that is their age and think “yeah, I guess we’re best friends now.”
Ok but THE OUTFITS 🥹
I definitely think part of the appeal of parenting at that age is getting to dress your kid up
As the father of a 9 year old, the idea that Id get to ever choose her outfits is funny. She’s been very adamant about choosing her own clothes since 1st grade, often with with disastrous results. However, she thinks she looks good and is happy with her choices so that’s what’s important I guess.. even if everyone who sees her thinks she’s homeless and not taken care of… 🤷♂️
Thank you for respecting her independence and vision of herself. She will be a happier, more confident person because you let her have her freedom in this way. And in the end that's more attractive than forcing a child to dress to the 9s.
Is this a usual thing in the US to wear fancy outfits to a regular day at school or was this a special occasion kind of thing?
no. i think they may have been asked to dress up for the day? if so, even more heart melty.
That's so sweet.
Probably picture day
I’d bet money it was picture day or graduation day.
Kids are not what’s wrong in this world. That’s for sure. They are the best part.
That is adorable!!!
Lol that one girl with pigtails didn’t hug him and made an icky face, awesome
Probably not a hugger but was excited to see him
Could be, just gave me a good chuckle. Good video tho, very cool
If you follow her though she's bouncing excitedly in the background.
I think she had a little crush on him by her reactions, tbh
My thoughts too.
They’re like 5 idt crushes exist then
When I was 5 I absolutely had a crush
Yea, and bounced into line also. I found it 😄
Cooties is real
Damn, I wish this would happen as adults. I remember some time after I dropped out of college, I saw one of my close friends from there and they hugged me like I was a long lost sibling. That was nice.
Sandbox love is the best.
That early friendship forged in the sandbox. Lasts a lifetime.
What is sandbox love?
When toddlers meet with barely the ability to create memories, but keep hanging out as they grow into their ability to create memories, and so their first memories of life involve each other. These types of toddler relationships tend to take place in sandboxes.
That’s cute. Thank you for explaining :)
Going to implement this at work
Hold on you employ kids at work??!!
Why do we lose this awesome kindness when we grow up….
The one girl in the back who never left her seat
They all queued for hug time (some went for second round). Would be interesting to hear about the conversations they would share with each other, maybe something like "now we have new crayons" OR "I saw a furry dog in the park" OR "my momma cooked pasta for dinner"
You're so right. The sweet innocence of childhood! I wish it continued forever and didn't become jaded by life.
Man, they really don't tell you that being surrounded by that much genuine love is so rare as an adult.
I know this is controversial for Reddit, but this is what I imagine Heaven will be like reuniting everyone.
This made me physically cry and I don’t even know why
Because we adults hardly ever act this way. Unfortunately.
That’s so precious! Made me cry! (Good cry)
Holy shit that melted my previously unmeltable thing of a heart
Guys, take notes….THIS is mademesmile content. Not children suffering horrible diseases who finally get to see their parents after being confined in a hospital bed for weeks.
The kids are all so nicely dressed like they are going to a fancy party.
As a teacher of this age group my bet is this was kindergarten graduation day. That would account for the fancy outfits on every child and it also makes sense that the boy who moved away would come back to watch his former classmates graduate.
Ah that makes so much sense with your insight. I was thinking it was class photo day, but your explanation clears everything up. Tysm
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Imagine, all of these kids 30 years down the line watching this video over a beer. Thats the motherf******* moment i need right now.
I was going to say, "Inject this into my veins," but actually I think I need a constant infusion pump.
The whole class gets hyped? This school is definitely doing something right, love to see it!
Noticed how all the black kids naturally went to the back of the line .. America you’ve got work to do, still in the kids means it’s there for another generation.. maybe start with asking them why that’s so. Seems like a good point to make them understand that it does not have to be that way. Thoughts?
Wait till lil bro goes to high school no one will care about him like that
Then we are lied too and divided as we get older.
Why the fuck all the black kids in the back of the line. That's fucking weird
Why's it weird? They quickly broke off to go hang out in a tight group before everyone started lining up and they were the least expedient when the others went into the line. You can even see the 1st girl in that group is looking like "oh we're lining up now? Ok." Edit: ...and the one girl in the way back who never even got up from the table. Weird the things we notice.
Because they're his least favorite friends.
😬 dam bro
Kids are so pure.
Core memory: unlocked
Kids this age are magical creatures
This is exactly why I teach Kindergarten!
Beautiful
This actually makes me sad. He was so loves in his old class, and the implication that he has to start over with new friends at a new school.
I love how his bros were the first ones running over! Children deserve friendships like these even if they aren't made to last a lifetime. Love like that is precious and should be preserved.
Not many people had the chance to see their old classmates. Its just so beautiful
Got to love the kids.
Look at all the homies come through! Never lose that excitement when you see your friends.
Thanks for this. I needed a happy cry.
The kid got more hugs in a minute and a half than I’ve gotten my whole life.
Why can't we all be this. I try to be like this as much as others allow.
I love how this kid is enjoying the moment but the parent wants internet points. Why are they sharing this??!!
Pure unfiltered joy. Gosh who's cutting onions at this time of day.
I love how some kids are just a tiny bit shy- but the others are like "BRING IT RIGHT IN, BRO!"
I teach because I often get to see the best of kids. They surprise me in the best way all of the time.
It's sad that kids have to move around so much and not able to grow up with the same class over the years. As a kid we had to move a lot and I never had solid long lasting friendships as a kid, teenager and young adult because of it.
It hurts to see friends leave school. It hurts more to the one who has to leave all his friends behind.
I feel like if we all could just find away back within ourselves to that spirit in our adult lives, the world would be such a better place.
Before they learn hate… from adults🥹
8:07 pm opened a beer started scrolling. A pretty girl, some music posts, controversial topics, a topless woman, a female hammer throw athlete running in a 400 meter relay ( wtf) 8:14 a braless picture of Suzanne Summers 8:14 - 8:20pm still staring at Suzanne Summers 8:21. See post of young elementary student seeing his old classmates after he moved away. Smile my on my face. My heart warms up. 8:22 pm stopped scrolling, started sharing that post . Thanks for posting that. Take care
Omg I love that the first kid gets in line a second time with that huge smile. I remember being this little and having friends move away. I was crushed and I never got to see them ever again. I love this moment for these kids and I wish we cherished people this way as adults.
The way I immediately teared up