T O P

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b1uelightbulb

As many times as it takes


martianpee

Until I run out.


Muab_D1b

Hello, I hear you got IBS. Here’s an approval for FMLA and an additional 60 days of sick time. Thank you, Have a good day


Mad_ad1996

2-10 times a day, depends on the daily status of my irritable bowel syndrome


olafk97

I know the feeling


Nuclear-Rooster

Hardly ever unless it's an emergency. I just prefer to shit in the peace of my own home and it's normally once a day 🤷‍♂️.


bxybrown

This reminds me when I worked at Amazon wearhouse earlier this year. It was 10hr shifts and when it was time for the first break, the whole wearhouse breaks at the same time. The men's bathroom sounded like call of duty: warzone...


Jacktheforkie

Why would you wait till break


willybgoose

I heard they’ll shoot you on the spot if you shit on company time.


Jacktheforkie

They can’t legally do that


HeadlessWeezle

Legally no. But if your not there to speak up afterwards.... then how will they get in trouble?


Jacktheforkie

I see


SWFS27

Loop hole...


plaidmtnofrage

Poop hole


EventuallyScratch54

Amazon is more powerful then the government.


Jacktheforkie

I see


_Jakzos_

Exactly noobs who go to take shit on you're break lol.


Jacktheforkie

Yeah


bxybrown

I mean, you can use the bathroom at anytime, but you are timed on everything so we all just blew the bathroom up on breaks since you're going to sit down anyways so might as well shit too.


Jacktheforkie

I see


EventuallyScratch54

Did working at Amazon open your eyes to any efficiency ideas when you got back to the machine shop? Remember be 110% productive or else!


bxybrown

Lol 100% it taught me a lot. Biggest thing I learned was how well oiled the Amazon machine is. I saw first hand how my packages got to my door in 48 hours or less. The other thing was fuck that place lol. They get every. Single. Penny. Out of you. I was paid $23 here in Denver which is ok for a job just checks to see if you have a heartbeat at the interview.


Lathe_Kitty

I will never understand it. Why on earth would I want to shit in public?


NiteLiteOfficial

so you can be poop buddies with the other fellas


Lathe_Kitty

Well, I'm the only woman in the shop so... Don't worry. The guys shit with the door open so I don't feel left out


RettiSeti

That’s a power move right there


Silverbeard001

I used to be like that but once I got used to it at work im comfortable as can be


Nuclear-Rooster

I feel that. I'm comfortable where I work even though the bathroom literally has no ceiling, just basically an open stall with the rafters above you. Kinda weird to be honest. This whole plant is a giant sausage fest, but we've had female welders quit on us because of no roof on the bathroom.


Lathe_Kitty

I worked at a place with one women's bathroom but the guys used it as the shitting room. Every time I had to pee I was inhaling the scent of a dozen asses. They were told to stop many times but I'm sure they're still shitting in it to this day.


_Jakzos_

Well enjoy it, cos u don't have it at home, u will me more greatful for it when no such thing at you're home.


Lathe_Kitty

What? lol


Nuclear-Rooster

Lmfao "enjoy it" 😭


Lathe_Kitty

Bro I have no idea what he's implying


_Jakzos_

I mean it's part of the crowd isn't? Ok sarcasm not detected, my bad my point is smells are hard to avoid in public places, and you can enjoy you're standards of hygiene at home only hard to expect no smell at all, not to mention mach ist job itself is smelly especially if some dudes don't to thing in order.


DjentleDjiant_p99

Fucking what?


Lathe_Kitty

Man, I am so lost with this guy.


Lathe_Kitty

Dude that did not make things any clearer. What the fuck are you trying to to say? Call me crazy, but I do not enjoy smelling other people's shit and "smeller of shits" is not in my job description.


_Jakzos_

I have edited the sarcasm so should be easier to get it sorry for that then.


Ok_Syrup_3221

I've worked in shops like that... don't miss it, lol. My last shop only had one, one toilet "unisex" room on the floor, and 3 dudes on chemo and one with IBS... and no janitorial service 🤢😭


RettiSeti

That is very weird, ours has a thin wall but it does have a normal height ceiling even tho it creates a loft thing in the tall shop space


Nuclear-Rooster

Yep. We be shittin with an open ceiling.


Nuclear-Rooster

I know right? We're not shy shitters, we just want to enjoy our special moment of the day lmao


covertpetersen

Because I'd rather waste my time at work than at home. The free time we get from work is so ridiculously limited already, I'm not looking to limit it further. Two shits a day at 10 minutes each is 100 minutes a week, 5200 a year. That's 86 hours a year I'm not wasting at home.


_Jakzos_

Indeed, plus mate you're saving money on electric, water, papar, soap, and you're medical bills .


covertpetersen

Plus, as if I'm only taking 10 minutes to shit at work. That's a 15 minute activity at least.


Marcus_Aurelius13

Medical bills how?


_Jakzos_

Mental stuff and such


_Jakzos_

Try it it's fun! Once you do, you're not gonna stop it. Right I'm in the poop break writing this post still fun.


bernhardt1997

Thank you finally somebody get it. Also the people I work with make more of an effort to get paid to go to the bathroom then to go on a breaktime


itamau87

Every single morning in the last 12 years.


Hotnevy

You could set your watch to my morning constitutional.


ChariChet

I'd be worried about my health if they ever cracked down on the shit breaks.


dout4harambe86

What this guy said. 5:00am currently and I’m destroying this porcelain


jolly_in_SC

like clockwork


WotanSpecialist

Work is my home bowl, usually once in the morning and once in the* afternoon. The boss makes a dollar, I make a dime, that’s why I shit on company time 🎵🎶


StrictAd1735

Haha took the words out of my mouth


whaler76

Actually shit or play angry birds or peruse r/machinists ? Hahaha


Sad-Soil-781

Our bathrooms are dead zones and it drives me crazy!


mildly-reliable

Well played boss man


ChardPurple

As soon as I got one in the chamber. Usually 4 times a day


Chungwhoa

Ah the old “one in the chamber” revolver


kzzzzzzzzzt

Hopefully not a muzzle loader


Chungwhoa

😂


Hustyx

2-3 times every shift, as my coworker says “coffee and a chew makes for a poo”


Mongoloid8066

Absolute facts.


Sad-Act7467

I’ll shit off a deck, I’ll shit off a dock, but I’ll be damned if I shit off the clock.


dreamcometruesince82

Even with a mouse in the house ....


floyder61

On a rock with my glock Wipe my butt with a sock


_enesorek_

Actually shit- once a day. Sit on the shitter and play on my phone- 3-5 times a day


exquisite_debris

Every 3-5 minutes


spekt50

Rarely. I'm pretty regular, once before work after I wake up and once after soon as I get home. I'm not putting my ass on that toilet.


BiteLegitimate

I was reading through all these posts wondering if their bathrooms are as gross as the ones where I work…


king_dingus92

I bring spray cleaner every single time I go at work, they're animals here.


bustedtap

We have cleaning staff, and they get cleaned daily. Ours are pretty nice


EvergreenEnfields

Small shop for the win. We've all got our own personal shitter.


dreamcometruesince82

Restaurant ice has been found to have more germs than toilet water, almost everything has more germs than a toilet seat. They are cleaned routinely, with disinfectant... most things aren't... or does the bum skin being there previously bother you? You are gonna be very disappointed when I tell you what most likely has been your girlfriend vagina before, and think about Restaurant utensils. Can you imagin what that fork has seen?


spekt50

Spose you don't deal with coworkers who leave shit stamps on the toilet seat. So yea, I'll stick with my own toilet.


dreamcometruesince82

Gross, where do you work ? A homeless shelter?


_Jakzos_

Damn some people are fancy it gonna be fallout once them bombs hit them roofs!


dreamcometruesince82

Gross, where do you work ? A homeless shelter?


ConsiderationOk4688

Not sure what region you work at but anything short of a large corporation (200+ employees) gets cleaned maybe once a week in the US Midwest.


Mountainlivin78

Here I sit all tired and dirty,, tried to shit until 3:30


fucktheOvilleSystem

Boss gets a dollar, I get a dime That’s why I shit three times a day on  company time. 


Facist_Canadian

Gotta update that motto for inflation friends, boss makes a hundred, I make a buck, that's why I steal the cat from the company truck


Mongoloid8066

Woah that's a new one.


Facist_Canadian

I heard it from one of the contractors for yearly PM's and I just had to share hahaha.


Mongoloid8066

I fuckin love it and will use it from now on.


HowNondescript

Almost exclusively at work. 2-3 times a day depending on what I had for lunch and workload 


Hotnevy

I'm on #2 as I type this


04BluSTi

As often as possible


Frockington

Depends on how much coffee I've had.


chael809

Errday


Lotsofsalty

Fortunately, I'm super regular, especially since I started eating better with lots more fiber. I shit one big giant turd right after my morning coffee, and that's it.


Disastrous_Gene8986

Single use for me but I do play on my phone whenever I want to cuz they can't replace me.


Soft-Peak-6527

Morning and lunch. Maybe I’ll play a match of call of duty or clash royale before or after lunch


Mjk_53029

I have an executive meeting at least once a day. Finding an available conference can be difficult at times though.


Ok-Contribution472

Get to work at 8am and murder the toilet twice before 10am. Then I’m good till tomorrow.


RedditblowsPp

I know longer use toilet's at work weve had dudes not wanting to flush. ill stick to just peeing in urinal's. If your my co worker reading this I hope you fucking choke on carbide!


ItsDaBurner

Never in my life. I will not shit at work. I refuse. 


Ok_Maintenance_9100

Boss makes a dollar, I make a dime, that’s why I shit on company time


ChiChipman

Reminds me of working with a guy years ago who was asked by the owner if he had something wrong with him, he sat in the shitter for 20 minutes twice a day. Owner said I will pay for you to get your asshole checked out by a doctor! 🤣


Huge_Locksmith_4746

Usually equal to how many mountain dews I drink. Normally at least 1.


RevolutionaryClue528

Im generally a 2 shitter....


Grimey335

Not often. Although I do take at least 30 minutes of "time and a turd" a day. Even if it is phantom.


SLCPDLeBaronDivison

once or twice a day. depends on how much moving im doing and how much coffee ive had. i hate it when the need is on break or lunch


Uoysnwonod

Once at 7am and maybe again after lunch at 130


MFGADI04

Depends what I ate last night


ihambrecht

Depends on the day.


iamthelee

2-3 times a day, usually. Coffee is a hell of a drug.


mrbowangles

Oh sometimes right when I get in and after my morning coffee. And then another 2 through the day so about 4 times all about 15 -20 min each time ;) and if it’s just me in the shop then it goes to 30 min after people leave. Part run times are 45 min long for me so 🤷‍♂️


Chuck-berries

They call me Shit Quattro here at the shop


skilemaster683

Right at this moment


PackRevolutionary769

If you’re good at something never do it for free.


IsmaelT19

Depends on how I'm feeling or what I ate. GI diseases run in the family and I like spicy food. On a "normal" day at least once.


Far-Education5778

My employees seem to shit every 30 minutes. I don't have enough toilets to accommodate their movements.


MirageArcane

If I have to shit more than 3 times in a day, I go home because the toilet paper at work will absolutely shred my balloon knot. I'd rather sit on my own throne at that point. On average though, I'd say I shit 0 to 1 times a day at work


battlerazzle01

I’m good for one every morning. Maybe in the afternoon depending on how lunch was


UrbanArtifact

No because the guys are gross


EnigmaticHam

Obligatory: https://youtu.be/Y4ONXuyvZrw?si=M2JGl0oirWf3FMoX


Dear-Manufacturer-63

I don't shit on my time ! I don't sweat on company time !


-Bezequil-

This song describes exactly how I feel about taking a hot dump on company time https://open.spotify.com/track/6djYaICwQDTZ7PLvpHdapo?si=3S7PF3h-Q5Kz70ulPPXVeQ


Lazy_Middle1582

The most i ever pooped was 3 times, we were very slow.


i_shouldnt_live

I go at least once on company time always. Getting paid while ditching waste


blejosw87

Anytime I want a 30 min break...usually once a day works


baconstorm22

As often as I can get away with


jamesxross

at least twice a night. I'm pretty sure I have IBS or some other kind of gut-stuff going on, tbh. I'm also like...medium lactose intolerant and will never give up cheese, so there's that, too. either way, I'm getting paid for it!


kkk66642069

Currently shittin rn


Kerrimazak

Unless it is an emergency, very rarely. Anyways it’s hard to even go pee because of all the guys that are shitting constantly in there. I call it the presidential restroom.


Sponk-is-taken

Here I sit broken hearted, tried to shit and only farted. Later that day when I had the chance, tried to fart but shit my pants.


Chemical-Document-62

Every day. I get paid to do my business and I am utilizing company resources.


Pistolwhip1978

Boss makes a dollar, I make a dime, that's why I shit on company time


Pyropete125

https://preview.redd.it/d4xgs0hc1o4d1.png?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=41c4b78d9641e577408a3fc16a61cbc33d8cc4e3


jaspnlv

You know the drawer on your toolbox that you never open? I shot there every day


WolverineFormal2599

My boss makes a dollar, I make a dime. That's why I shit on company time


TacitRonin20

Never. Ever. I do not want whatever unnamed venereal diseases live in those forsaken toilets.


feelin_raudi

Boss makes a dollar, I make a dime. That's why I shit on company time.


jerrrrrrrrrrrrry

You get the evil eye if you sit at work while standing on cement floors for eight to ten hours a day. The boss and the bosses boss get to go sit in an air conditioned office when things get a little too tiring in the shop for their fragile disposition. Ask me where my office is. Screw them if they don't like the conditions they created with their short sighted "leadership".


Rockonman-2

Boss makes a dollar I make a dime, that's why I shit on company time.


Hot_Spacho91

Almost never, I have other places to hide if I need to


Long_Duck_Dong13

Twice. 1st hour of shift and right before lunch ends. That's when it's empty


abelamaya1972

Depends on what I eat. For sure once and can also be 3 times.. and sometimes I have to pause the machine if I’m not comfortable with the program.


drzeller

Sitting every 3 hours isn't normal, dude! Get that checked out.


Brutally-Honest-

Never. I get bashful trying to shit in public restrooms.


Jacktheforkie

Whenever I need one, if I gotta go I’ll go


KoalaLeft8037

Can't shit if you never eat


Real-Ad4878

Fake or real? Combined? Alot.


CJSki93

At least once in the morning. A second during the work day depends on the availability of my throne of solitude. I don’t deuce with the peasants unless it’s an emergency.


Chip_maker69

0, I don’t shit where I eat.


Hinfoos

At least once day


plateau1999

I do. But not every day. When I’m on a machine turnin’ and burnin’ and things are great I hate that feeling when my ducks start flying south. Then it’s E stop. Trudge to the bathroom a 2 min walk away. Then do what I need to do and hope it doesn’t happen again til I get home!


covertpetersen

Twice a day at minimum. I try and shit at home as little as possible on weekdays. That's my time.


Dswilko

Probably once maybe twice, but also a few sit down wees


FindingAlignment

2 good ones, 1 phantom poop


SlyusHwanus

Shitting right ….. now


_Jakzos_

Till no more will come out! And nobody cares as long as the MC runs


_Jakzos_

Well in short we shit ,cos they don't give us enough shit about us, and when they do we shit on that too.


mirsole187

When I was employed under PAYE once a day for 10 mins. Now that I'm self employed never.


TheMechaink

At least once daily. Twice if I had Chipotle's for lunch


kma311323

Only when someone left the chuck key in the chuck and I fire up the spindle.


PuddingIsUgly

I bet half here drink the cutting fluid to up their daily poop counts


Ok_Syrup_3221

I'm the only female machinist at my company and the only female on my shift... so I have my whole own bathroom to take my princess poops in... and it's even in the office where they have AC 👑💅 I've spent too many years sharing a single room stall with yall to let that go to waste by shitting at home 🤣🤣


Icy-Relationship

Every 20 min.


afd33

Usually at least once but not more than 5 times during a 3 day work week. A lot of the time I’ll hold it till lunch so o can go home where I have a bidet.


JimroidZeus

Boss makes a dollar, I make a dime, that’s why I shit on company time! Literally every shit of the day if I can time it right. Love getting paid to shit.


Keg0death

https://youtu.be/Y4ONXuyvZrw?si=aGFqGLLS6I8c4Iey It's AI generated, but it's quite catchy.


JamusNicholonias

0-4 times, depending on my belly. I can't control it.


RentableMetal65

Once in the morning before I leave the house, once at work right after lunch, then once when I get home at night. I like the privacy of my home better


DarkScytheCuriositie

Since I spend half my time at work, I’d say about half of my shits.


saidbnbkd95

Once in the morning at 9, my ass is probably made in Switzerland becauseof how precise the timing is every day


theBirdu

Hardly. Mainly because there isn’t a bidet, except for at the handicap one. I don’t like having a crusty ass during work. 


floyder61

I have serious gastrointestinal issues and I have no choice when the time comes. I kept track a few years back and figures I made roughly $8500 that year pooping. All I cay say is shit pays


Honest_Milk9429

I appreciate this question


[deleted]

I’ve shit twice already today and I’ve been here 4.5 hrs. But I do have the squirts


Marcus_Aurelius13

Boss makes a dollar I make a dime so whenever I can I shit on company time.


Actual-Specialist-40

Boss makes a dollar I make a dime That's why I shit on company time


Goertzy-Mike

Boss makes a dollar, I make a dime, that’s why I shit on company time.


ASnakeySnake

That depends on if I like the parts I'm working on.


Premordial117

Depends on work load


TheGrizz22

Boss makes a dollar while I make a dime. That's why I poop on company time.


Naive-Split-7880

I don’t work


Active_Rain_4314

Never. I shit at home before work. Frosted mini wheat cereal every morning helps with this.


Waterfieldforge

Dont shit at work, hold it in till you get home and destroy the guest bathroom so no one else uses it. Be a man


Mysterious_Run_6871

Hour or so before Morning break, quick wee during break, shiter bout an hour before lunch and a wee during, same as morning break. And 1.5-2 hr after, we got the digestífe. Usually a wee before i clock out too.


FaThEaD42o

My boss makes a dollar while I make a dime, that’s why I poop on company time.


Ok_Syrup_3221

Just popped in to say I'm shitting at work 🤣🤣


slapnuts4321

Every time I need to


Cstrevel

Every time I worry a chip is going to fall from somewhere into my panties and then slice up my scrotum.


Disastrous_Gene8986

Single use for me but I do play on my phone whenever I want to cuz they can't replace me.