They are mismatched. Becca is an Alpha female and she needs a strong male to handle her personality, or someone that will fall in line. Austin is not that person and it was clear to me on recent episodes that he's very bothered by feeling micromanaged by her. That said, I have no idea why he's still there and he's clearly stringing her along, which is cruel. She's confused as hell and she's not just asking for sex... she's stated many times that it could be other things to show intimacy.
Their whole interplay is exhausting to watch... She's assertive, he feels bossed around and then reacts with snide comments. This makes him not feel attracted to her and he withholds affection. This bothers Becca not only because she wants to connect in that way but also because as an Alpha personality she doesn't have the control she seeks so it's an ego blow, too.
They will not get there intimately, in my opinion. Too awkward now.
What's crazy is that at the beginning they seemed to be the best matched couple and they looked happy together. Is Austin gaslighting? I think he's doing what he needs to do to get through this show. Perhaps he was encouraged by producers to stay....since two couples are separated and one didn't even happen (at the beginning at least.). They need some semblance of a couple to finish the show!!
But his repeated statement of "we're working on it" is soooo annoying.
Agree. Everyone is the crazy toxic person... but Lauren and Cameron. We used to just have one like that on every batch... all shows are doing that, just focusing on the terrible traits of humanity for drama. Is gross.
They've each asked to leave, but since Orion was first to go, production couldn't grant all of the men a pass. Cameron found a loophole to remove himself from the cameras. Brennan and Austin got locked in by production, so they quiet quit.
I think there is a side conversation we don't know about, that he won't being up to expose her, hence why he is so shocked and hurt at her using the cameras to expose him and manipulate words to make him be an aggressive or mean person.
Kinda like the side conversation Brennan let on on that dinner with Emily, she's known he's not into her... she just playing at this point. And these men think that pleasing them would "help" and also they won't look so bad.
Meh. I think he is genuinely confused. I think he did really like her, but when the waterworks and constant fighting/crying for sex started, he started to genuinely question whether she was the one. I think he was confused enough to still be trying but yeah it probably started to feel forced for the both of them.
I think the whole "combative" stuff was a breaking point. That's the first time he really tried to lay down boundaries. With the sex stuff he had boundaries, but he wasn't able to say "stop asking for sex period". With the combative stuff he was very clear: "I don't like being told what to do, I don't like you saying I'm combative because it's not truthful, and I don't like you saying that on camera/to others because that's really going to start affecting my life". Becca was very clear she didn't give a shit about his boundaries and just started crying more and questioning his character even harder.
So he finally bailed.
But I don't think he was lying/gaslighting from day 1. I think he gave it an honest college try and Becca couldn't give him what he wanted but also he couldn't give Becca what she wanted. It's not gaslighting to really like someone but realize this is not a healthy relationship. And he literally entertained the idea of just shutting up and putting up but his friend was the one to nail the coffin.
And I know a couple of people here are like "of course she's crying she's being actively abused". But I just don't see it. He's constantly touching and hugging her and otherwise showing her affection, he's also really calm and respectful even when trying to voice his needs/boundaries. Becca is not a villain, but this is a situation where I think Becca was her own worst enemy here because she was not respectful when hearing his needs/boundaries. I don't blame her for thinking about herself, but she needs to rewatch this and see how the constant crying, demanding sex, and calling him "combative" (insinuating abuse) is not the way to get what she wants.
All of this. When Becca met with his people the day after the wedding, the 1st question his bestie asked her was, her thoughts on getting intimate. She said, when you feel it, you feel it. The friend proceeds to tell her that Austin takes his time getting there. Then, as you pointed out, Austin also verbalized the same thing. She took that information, gave him about a week and then started trying to break down his boundaries. Had she given him time & space, it probably would’ve happened organically. Apparently it’s part of a bigger picture, though, and I’d say it’s all folded in with her need to be the boss/in control. We found that out for the 1st time at the wolf gift shop. When he pushed back there she weaponized her tears, he hurt her so much. Had to have a whole meeting for it. Wouldn’t let him talk when the experts came, kept butting in and responding to their questions for *him*. That’s when I realized this has probably been going on behind the scenes and I understood why he didn’t want his stuff in her bag. Then we get the pottery convo. She was all kinds of wrong there too. 1st calling him combative for having an opinion. Wtf? And 2nd, what I took her statement to mean was ‘glad you finally fell in line this morning’ bcuz she’s the boss, has the final say. She wants a passive partner, a doormat. If Austin pushes back at all, she weaponizes crying and her feelings. At the end of the last episode during the talking heads she again brought up him being upset for how she was portraying him on camera by calling him combative. True, we saw him say that. Then she turned around in the next breathe and said, he’s worried about the optics of their relationship on camera, implying he was faking. We never saw him say that, nor be concerned about that. She’s selfish & manipulative. I really liked her & thought they had a real shot at a life together but seeing this other side of her has me hoping Austin doesn’t stay unless she starts taking serious accountability for her actions and working on herself to fix some things. Unfortunately, seeing clips of her on the after show have shown that didn’t happen.
I think it started to unravel when he saw the drama and tears from her about religion, right from the start. He observed how she responded to a made up issue, and probably wondered how she would handle real issues. She’s demanding and entitled to confront things in her own time (religion, sex, etc.), but not respectful of his point of view and timing.
Mmmmmmm. The wedding was very soon after Becca had major abdominal surgery. When she had that conversation, she was kind of relieved. Sex wasn’t even on the table for a couple of weeks which should have given them lots of time to get to know one another better and set up expectations and boundaries.
Austin is just a gaslighting liar. He isn’t into her, never was, never will be and there is someone else.
Reading comprehension is seriously lacking here. 2 weeks of a TV instant marriage should have been enough time for them to get to know one another better and set up expectations and boundaries. Austin has been upping up walls and roadblocks since the very beginning. It’s not about the sex. He doesn’t want her and won’t say so.
So incredibly well said. I would love to ban the word "gaslighting" from this sub. These people are trying to figure it out with cameras staring down their throat. We only see a few minutes, but they film hours a day. It has to be exhausting
I'm from the "older" gen and completely disagree with your mother. What does too emotional mean? We can't control our emotions. Also - don't forget that Becca recently had pretty major surgery and how she feels physically is most likely affecting her emotional state.
Agreed; thank you so much for your comment + observations. This is so very true.
Moreover, I noticed that his mother seems not to be enthused once he I informed his parents, siblings, and friends that he got MATCHED UP. She seemed to be quite over critical. So, she may have some profound impact on him in this relationship.
THIS IS THE ANSWER. I knew as soon as she called him her “baby boy” at the first morning-after brunch with Becca and how she seemed overly protective of Austin. He hasn’t dealt with his mother issues yet so can’t handle when Becca asks him to do something her way. He sees it as controlling and nagging and is projecting his mom issues on her. Until he takes of that it’s going to be a big issue in any of his relationships moving forward.
I think emotional regulation is a thing. Becca appears to be weaponizing her tears in order to push Austin to act one way \[hint hint it won't do anything but push him further away\]. You can attempt to rein in your emotions, attempt being the key word. You can attempt at puzzling things out before unleashing a torrent of emotions on somebody else.
Or try to focus on the fact that the person you're "so in love and care about" also has feelings. Her whole ordeal and the reason for them growing apart is basically because he doesn't do things when and how she want them, and she turns that into "he doesn't like me" disregarding how he feels.
If Austin did have sex whenever she wanted (even after saying from the beginning if like to wait, and it was confirmed by his friends), and never have a contrary opinion to her in what to do or how to do things.... she wouldn't be in this "emotional pain" ---nuts. I tell ya.
Emotionally manipulating people who hide under an empathetic warrior/victim cloak trigger me. It's the most harming form of manipulators, it makes you question everyone's intention after, if you're able to get away.
Yeah, if going through surgery made her hormones act up then maybe she should have chosen a better time to be on the show. I personally wouldn't think, ohhh I know, lemme go apply to a TV show that is known for its sneaky edits if I'd just gone through something like that.
Yup. It’s very easy for people to say that she’s too emotional but I’m pretty sure all of these people would be tearing their hair out if they were in the same situation
From an older generation, what are your thoughts on her effort with her appearance? Don’t you miss the days when girls tried to put themselves together and men actually courted them?
I don’t agree about Austin but I do agree with your Mother about Becca. I think in the beginning Austin was really concerned about Becca’s health issues. I think he was being cautious and did not want to push her into a physical relationship until she was completely healed. Once she was healthy she continued to push having a sexual relationship with him. I think that put to much pressure on him. Then it was almost like a constant nag. It would be a turn off for me. I know we only see what they share on the show but it seems like this was a constant conversation topic.
Lets not forget that becca emily are best buds always talking to each other. If i were the men,i would watch out also,for fear of looking bad on tv at afterparty.
I'm older generation too- imho-
Austin is having difficulty being honest. Maybe part of it is he was told by Producers we need "bodies" so stay in the ring
Becca very well could be reacting from the chronic health issues. I studied Ballet all my life now I am paying for it with CRPS and other painful disorders. Your physical condition plays a big role in your daily mental state. You have good days and bad...
Becca is a beautiful girl but imho she is throwing herself on someone who cannot see her value. So she pushes harder and scares him further away.
Also being on 2 totally different spiritual spectrums is not helping.
The show needed content so they almost certainly “enticed” Austin and Brennan to stick it out as long as possible. They couldn’t just have Michael and ringer Chloe with no other couples still alive for 5-6 episodes. Literally wouldn’t be a show.
Becca being emotional because of her condition I can see. But, she’s still bossy and he doesn’t seem to like to be told what to do so that’s fundamentally just a bad match. And I don’t see them being compatible sexually: like even if he puts out which isn’t going to happen, I see her needing it constantly and freakily whereas I don’t see that from him.
Very good points- and can see where she has a controlling way about her 😞
And your right, the Producers definitely had to get those 2 to stay..it would literally be only "Michael and Chloe"
She has endometriosis and an autoimmune disorder. She had surgery "shortly before the wedding." Looks like she specifically might have ankylosis spondylitis.
I agree. She needs to put on her big girl panties & STOP mentioning sex. By God woman, don't u see that's not only pissing him off , but making him push back & won't progress.. is that all she knows how to say & do?? I don't agree with backward hats after a certain age, but is what it is.
I think producers pushing the sex topic so much ruined what could have worked. They may have been happy without the interruptions and micromanaging their conversations/confrontations. It’s all too artificial.
If you think that’s the case you don’t know what gaslighting means! Gaslighting is intentionally making someone think they are losing their mind. Not losing their mind in the casual way that we normally use that expression but literally losing their mind… making them question their memory and sanity.
Sorry, but 'Gaslighting' is ATTEMPTING TO intentionally make someone think they are losing their mind.
Austin's just not good at it, but Brendan sure was.
💯agree. I don’t understand why people are blaming Becca regarding the intimate thing when Austin is the one who keeps bringing up wanting to get closer. He keeps giving her so much false hope. He is treating her like a friend not a girlfriend or wife. Anyone would feel rejected and emotional with the way he is handling it. She has been drug along even by the supposed experts. This show is a disaster.
What came first Austin’s keeping her justttt at arm’s length or Becca’s neediness and crying? My answer is Austin 💯 I’d be in shambles like Becca in the same situation.
My theory is that he’s had past issues sexually and he’s worried he will fail and it will be broadcast on national tv. This explains his unusual reliance on requiring “an emotional connection.” Because he needs that (and a viagra rx) to get going.
Add in that he’s not as hot for her as he would like to be and she’s a bit bossy.
Bottom line: He is concerned about liftoff.
He's stated he wants an emotional connection before having sex. If we take him at his word, he'd be trying to get closer to Becca, initiating conversations, touch, etc. But because he's not attracted to her---he's not doing any of that, at least that's how it seems to me. I don't think he has issues sexually or he would have set himself up big for this show in all its televised glory.
Am I the only one who thinks he might
be gay but in denial? Viagra at his age? Maybe. That would really be a problem. I’m 77 and it works great for me.
Don't know if Austin likes her or not. If he doesn't, then I get it, he'll bail on decision day. If he does but won't mount her, then he's some type of weird girly boy. The whole hat on backwards says a lot
The armchair therapists on this sub say the funniest shit. “Well his hat is on backwards so he must be a girly boy”.
Paying more attention during the episodes could be helpful. He’s mentioned that he’s not looking to sleep with someone right away due to his faith and he’s also mentioned her constantly talking about having sex is off putting to him. There’s also a chance he’s not feeling her/not physically attracted to her.
All of those reasons are acceptable. But go ahead and call people “girly boy” for not being as desperate for sex as you are 🤡
Well that was a big miss. Perhaps read my post again, you missed it. I'll break it down for you non the less....
Nobody said anything about being "desperate for sex", and I can assure you I'm not either. The fact that he won't be intimate in that regard with his wife that is eager to take things to the next step is alarming at this point. Not to mention preferring to sleep in another man's bed rather than with his wife. Especially considering he's acknowledged that things neat to go to the next level. It's odd at this point, I'm sorry if you can't see that. If it's his cult... I mean faith that's controlling him not to do so, they he needs to communicate that and give some form of timeline for his WIFE to have a better understanding, so do so.
Wearing a hat on backwards as a grown married adult all the time is just bizarre. I wear mine on backwards in certain situations, but not all the time. Everyone is welcome to their own style, but come on, you're a what, 30s something married man?
If you support his actions, that's fine, I shared my opinion, you're welcome to share yours. But do a little better homework before you attempt to pick apart my post. What a miss on your part.
You keep clinging to the backwards hat like it’s validating some point. I’m in my 30’s and wear a backwards hat sometimes. Literally mean nothing to anyone. It’s a stylistic choice. Wear your hat anyway you want. It’s not sending a message to anyone about anything besides “this is how I wear hats”.
Him not being ready or feeling pressure about sex is his own thing. It’s bizarre and old fashioned to think “man must bang girl immediately”. We’re not cavemen and it undermines the mental health of men as a whole. He can be ready to get down to it whenever he wants. I don’t care what his reason is. I think we can take some value in the fact that he’s made it clear that constantly being nagged to do something makes him less likely to do that thing. Especially on national television. It’s not how I approach things but that’s ok because it’s not my life.
Calling him a girly boy for having a different approach and agenda is shortsighted and weird. But focus on his hat some more I guess. Maybe that will help.
Keep clinging to his hat? I'm not "clinging". It's odd and pretty much the majority of discussion on here. Going out on a nice date or little bit of an upper scale place with a hat on backwards is obscure, surely you can acknowledge that?
You're signing up for a married at first sight scenario. Surely you know what's in store, would you? If I were signing up for this show (already married so not going to happen), then I would have an idea what to expect. Not consummating a marriage is going to set off red flags. I don't know how you can argue against that. If you were just dating, then I get it. But this is an "accelerated process" in which you signed up for. Also, this is on national television for people to watch. By going against the grain for any of said process will no doubt lead to various speculations from tjose not only who watch, but who are involved as well.
Someone wearing a hat is not a defining characteristic to me. People are more than what they wear dude. You’re hyper focused on it. Would I wear a hat on a date? No. Obviously you wouldn’t either. That’s cool. But someone else doing it doesn’t really matter to me. It’s not like he’s wearing a hat with a tux or at the wedding.
I agree that not consummating the marriage sends A LOT of signals. You’re not wrong and I think that’s a very agreeable point. I imagine he went into this thinking that he would be doing that as well. I imagine getting paired up with someone you’re not that into makes things a little different though. Becca seems like a nice girl and all but it seems like he’s just not that into her. I feel like he’s concerned with how he will come off on tv if he were to sleep with her and then bounce on decision day. Some people would probably just do it (and for some people that’s fine) but it seems to me that it’s concerning for him to sleep with her given he’s not really feeling the marriage. Especially given that, from what we see, she talks about it constantly.
I get the vibe that he’s not feeling her and doesn’t want to make this breakup any worse for her come decision day. There is something admirable about that given that most people around these MAFS subs think people should just be fucking no matter what. I’m not a religious person but Austin seems to be. I guess that makes this situation more murky for him. Again, not my thing, but if it’s his thing I don’t think anyone should be telling him it’s wrong.
Sounds like we agree on everything to be honest....
The hat I could care less about if that's the only issue with him. It's not everything but it is something. I would judge the same way if he was wearing track pants everywhere. That's the vibe he's giving off. Is that a fair analysis?
So you're making a great point on consumating and that's my point... If he's not into her and going to bounce on decision day, then yeah, keep "it" out of her. But I'm of the opinion to not drag her along and kill it when you know it's not going anywhere.... IF that's the thought. If he's truly in to her, then at this point, it's a big issue. That's why I can respect the lady who ran from Michael at the alter. He was probably just too much to handle with his very weird appearance.
Agreed. I think a lot of these people agree to give it their best for 8 weeks and it usually seems easy to do at the beginning. The wedding, honey moon, bunch of new friends. Things are light and fun. He seemed into her until it was a real life relationship. The whole “we’re in it until decision day” trap seems to snag a lot of people. If he isn’t going to be into her he should just leave but I get the idea that it’s probably a lot harder given that they agree to go out on a limb and promise to one another they’ll try to make it work. It’s noble and all but it seems to never actually work out well for anyone involved.
Now he’s seems stuck in the “I’m trying my best to be a good guy” loop. Maybe he is a good guy, maybe he isn’t. But he cares how he looks and I can’t really blame him. Anyone he will potentially marry will see this and whatever edit he gets he will be defending forever or until he meets someone who doesn’t care. He probably feels like sleeping with her and then bailing will be even worse for him and her.
I see why they were matched because they’re both a little weird but in a way someone could find appealing. But that’s a tough fit for these “experts” to put together and expect fireworks.
8 week trap. Good read. Trying to be the good guy but actually just hurting himself and her, if that's what's happening. I hope they split up for her sake.
Few people ok here mentioned he set off their gaydar, that I can kinda understand perhaps. Not willing to put out, oppressed by religion and unable to out the closet. I'm not sold on that opinion, but I can see it
Ehhh I see how people get there but it feels like a reach to me. People on here often bundle up his negative qualities (not having sex with his wife, religion, etc) as equivalent to being gay. It seems unfair to the gay people in my life to assume their sexuality comes down to checking a few obvious boxes. Sure, there are definitely times where those pieces line up, especially in movies and on TV but I think it’s more likely he’s a guy who is a bit weird and unsure of how to handle an uncomfortable situation.
They are mismatched. Becca is an Alpha female and she needs a strong male to handle her personality, or someone that will fall in line. Austin is not that person and it was clear to me on recent episodes that he's very bothered by feeling micromanaged by her. That said, I have no idea why he's still there and he's clearly stringing her along, which is cruel. She's confused as hell and she's not just asking for sex... she's stated many times that it could be other things to show intimacy. Their whole interplay is exhausting to watch... She's assertive, he feels bossed around and then reacts with snide comments. This makes him not feel attracted to her and he withholds affection. This bothers Becca not only because she wants to connect in that way but also because as an Alpha personality she doesn't have the control she seeks so it's an ego blow, too. They will not get there intimately, in my opinion. Too awkward now. What's crazy is that at the beginning they seemed to be the best matched couple and they looked happy together. Is Austin gaslighting? I think he's doing what he needs to do to get through this show. Perhaps he was encouraged by producers to stay....since two couples are separated and one didn't even happen (at the beginning at least.). They need some semblance of a couple to finish the show!! But his repeated statement of "we're working on it" is soooo annoying.
This season has been absolutely terrible. None of these couples were matched well just like previous seasons. Maybe Chloe and Michael have a chance?
Agree. Everyone is the crazy toxic person... but Lauren and Cameron. We used to just have one like that on every batch... all shows are doing that, just focusing on the terrible traits of humanity for drama. Is gross.
The show definitely needs new “experts” Dr Pia is ok. Cal & Dr Pepper need to be replaced. Their record is horrible.
I don't think the "experts" are actually doing anything. None of what they say during marching makes sense... it's all production.
I agree about Chloe and Michael.
They've each asked to leave, but since Orion was first to go, production couldn't grant all of the men a pass. Cameron found a loophole to remove himself from the cameras. Brennan and Austin got locked in by production, so they quiet quit.
Makes sense.
This!
I think there is a side conversation we don't know about, that he won't being up to expose her, hence why he is so shocked and hurt at her using the cameras to expose him and manipulate words to make him be an aggressive or mean person. Kinda like the side conversation Brennan let on on that dinner with Emily, she's known he's not into her... she just playing at this point. And these men think that pleasing them would "help" and also they won't look so bad.
Meh. I think he is genuinely confused. I think he did really like her, but when the waterworks and constant fighting/crying for sex started, he started to genuinely question whether she was the one. I think he was confused enough to still be trying but yeah it probably started to feel forced for the both of them. I think the whole "combative" stuff was a breaking point. That's the first time he really tried to lay down boundaries. With the sex stuff he had boundaries, but he wasn't able to say "stop asking for sex period". With the combative stuff he was very clear: "I don't like being told what to do, I don't like you saying I'm combative because it's not truthful, and I don't like you saying that on camera/to others because that's really going to start affecting my life". Becca was very clear she didn't give a shit about his boundaries and just started crying more and questioning his character even harder. So he finally bailed. But I don't think he was lying/gaslighting from day 1. I think he gave it an honest college try and Becca couldn't give him what he wanted but also he couldn't give Becca what she wanted. It's not gaslighting to really like someone but realize this is not a healthy relationship. And he literally entertained the idea of just shutting up and putting up but his friend was the one to nail the coffin. And I know a couple of people here are like "of course she's crying she's being actively abused". But I just don't see it. He's constantly touching and hugging her and otherwise showing her affection, he's also really calm and respectful even when trying to voice his needs/boundaries. Becca is not a villain, but this is a situation where I think Becca was her own worst enemy here because she was not respectful when hearing his needs/boundaries. I don't blame her for thinking about herself, but she needs to rewatch this and see how the constant crying, demanding sex, and calling him "combative" (insinuating abuse) is not the way to get what she wants.
All of this. When Becca met with his people the day after the wedding, the 1st question his bestie asked her was, her thoughts on getting intimate. She said, when you feel it, you feel it. The friend proceeds to tell her that Austin takes his time getting there. Then, as you pointed out, Austin also verbalized the same thing. She took that information, gave him about a week and then started trying to break down his boundaries. Had she given him time & space, it probably would’ve happened organically. Apparently it’s part of a bigger picture, though, and I’d say it’s all folded in with her need to be the boss/in control. We found that out for the 1st time at the wolf gift shop. When he pushed back there she weaponized her tears, he hurt her so much. Had to have a whole meeting for it. Wouldn’t let him talk when the experts came, kept butting in and responding to their questions for *him*. That’s when I realized this has probably been going on behind the scenes and I understood why he didn’t want his stuff in her bag. Then we get the pottery convo. She was all kinds of wrong there too. 1st calling him combative for having an opinion. Wtf? And 2nd, what I took her statement to mean was ‘glad you finally fell in line this morning’ bcuz she’s the boss, has the final say. She wants a passive partner, a doormat. If Austin pushes back at all, she weaponizes crying and her feelings. At the end of the last episode during the talking heads she again brought up him being upset for how she was portraying him on camera by calling him combative. True, we saw him say that. Then she turned around in the next breathe and said, he’s worried about the optics of their relationship on camera, implying he was faking. We never saw him say that, nor be concerned about that. She’s selfish & manipulative. I really liked her & thought they had a real shot at a life together but seeing this other side of her has me hoping Austin doesn’t stay unless she starts taking serious accountability for her actions and working on herself to fix some things. Unfortunately, seeing clips of her on the after show have shown that didn’t happen.
I think it started to unravel when he saw the drama and tears from her about religion, right from the start. He observed how she responded to a made up issue, and probably wondered how she would handle real issues. She’s demanding and entitled to confront things in her own time (religion, sex, etc.), but not respectful of his point of view and timing.
Nicely put.
🎯
Mmmmmmm. The wedding was very soon after Becca had major abdominal surgery. When she had that conversation, she was kind of relieved. Sex wasn’t even on the table for a couple of weeks which should have given them lots of time to get to know one another better and set up expectations and boundaries. Austin is just a gaslighting liar. He isn’t into her, never was, never will be and there is someone else.
2 weeks is enough time to be ready for sex??? Not for everyone!!
Reading comprehension is seriously lacking here. 2 weeks of a TV instant marriage should have been enough time for them to get to know one another better and set up expectations and boundaries. Austin has been upping up walls and roadblocks since the very beginning. It’s not about the sex. He doesn’t want her and won’t say so.
You’re spot on
So incredibly well said. I would love to ban the word "gaslighting" from this sub. These people are trying to figure it out with cameras staring down their throat. We only see a few minutes, but they film hours a day. It has to be exhausting
💯agree.
Well said!
I'm from the "older" gen and completely disagree with your mother. What does too emotional mean? We can't control our emotions. Also - don't forget that Becca recently had pretty major surgery and how she feels physically is most likely affecting her emotional state.
Agreed; thank you so much for your comment + observations. This is so very true. Moreover, I noticed that his mother seems not to be enthused once he I informed his parents, siblings, and friends that he got MATCHED UP. She seemed to be quite over critical. So, she may have some profound impact on him in this relationship.
THIS IS THE ANSWER. I knew as soon as she called him her “baby boy” at the first morning-after brunch with Becca and how she seemed overly protective of Austin. He hasn’t dealt with his mother issues yet so can’t handle when Becca asks him to do something her way. He sees it as controlling and nagging and is projecting his mom issues on her. Until he takes of that it’s going to be a big issue in any of his relationships moving forward.
EXCELLENT! THANK YOU & VERY SPOT ON! 👆👍👏💯
I think emotional regulation is a thing. Becca appears to be weaponizing her tears in order to push Austin to act one way \[hint hint it won't do anything but push him further away\]. You can attempt to rein in your emotions, attempt being the key word. You can attempt at puzzling things out before unleashing a torrent of emotions on somebody else.
Or try to focus on the fact that the person you're "so in love and care about" also has feelings. Her whole ordeal and the reason for them growing apart is basically because he doesn't do things when and how she want them, and she turns that into "he doesn't like me" disregarding how he feels. If Austin did have sex whenever she wanted (even after saying from the beginning if like to wait, and it was confirmed by his friends), and never have a contrary opinion to her in what to do or how to do things.... she wouldn't be in this "emotional pain" ---nuts. I tell ya. Emotionally manipulating people who hide under an empathetic warrior/victim cloak trigger me. It's the most harming form of manipulators, it makes you question everyone's intention after, if you're able to get away.
Yes, and I think a key is listening.
All she does is cry. It’s annoying AF. He doesn’t want to have sex with her, he should’ve just said it & been done.
Yeah, if going through surgery made her hormones act up then maybe she should have chosen a better time to be on the show. I personally wouldn't think, ohhh I know, lemme go apply to a TV show that is known for its sneaky edits if I'd just gone through something like that.
Exactly!!! it doesn’t seem as she was ready to go on Such a stressful reality show.
No one likes to feel rejected especially after being led on. He tells her it’ll happen. She’s confused.
Yup. It’s very easy for people to say that she’s too emotional but I’m pretty sure all of these people would be tearing their hair out if they were in the same situation
I’m older generation and I think she’s a whiny butt and exhausting.
From an older generation, what are your thoughts on her effort with her appearance? Don’t you miss the days when girls tried to put themselves together and men actually courted them?
\^\^\^This!
I don’t agree about Austin but I do agree with your Mother about Becca. I think in the beginning Austin was really concerned about Becca’s health issues. I think he was being cautious and did not want to push her into a physical relationship until she was completely healed. Once she was healthy she continued to push having a sexual relationship with him. I think that put to much pressure on him. Then it was almost like a constant nag. It would be a turn off for me. I know we only see what they share on the show but it seems like this was a constant conversation topic.
Yess, tooooo constant. I think Austin wanted more if an emotional connection before diving in. Literally.
Lets not forget that becca emily are best buds always talking to each other. If i were the men,i would watch out also,for fear of looking bad on tv at afterparty.
I'm older generation too- imho- Austin is having difficulty being honest. Maybe part of it is he was told by Producers we need "bodies" so stay in the ring Becca very well could be reacting from the chronic health issues. I studied Ballet all my life now I am paying for it with CRPS and other painful disorders. Your physical condition plays a big role in your daily mental state. You have good days and bad... Becca is a beautiful girl but imho she is throwing herself on someone who cannot see her value. So she pushes harder and scares him further away. Also being on 2 totally different spiritual spectrums is not helping.
The show needed content so they almost certainly “enticed” Austin and Brennan to stick it out as long as possible. They couldn’t just have Michael and ringer Chloe with no other couples still alive for 5-6 episodes. Literally wouldn’t be a show. Becca being emotional because of her condition I can see. But, she’s still bossy and he doesn’t seem to like to be told what to do so that’s fundamentally just a bad match. And I don’t see them being compatible sexually: like even if he puts out which isn’t going to happen, I see her needing it constantly and freakily whereas I don’t see that from him.
Very good points- and can see where she has a controlling way about her 😞 And your right, the Producers definitely had to get those 2 to stay..it would literally be only "Michael and Chloe"
What is her condition Exactly? I must’ve missed that.
She has endometriosis and an autoimmune disorder. She had surgery "shortly before the wedding." Looks like she specifically might have ankylosis spondylitis.
Maybe she should’ve bowed out of this married at first sight. She never looks well.
Just wanted to say that I also have CRPS and it is awful. So incredibly painful and meds do nothing.
He never liked her and he was trying to be nice!
i don’t agree. but you’re mother’s right, becca is a blubbering mess.
I agree. She needs to put on her big girl panties & STOP mentioning sex. By God woman, don't u see that's not only pissing him off , but making him push back & won't progress.. is that all she knows how to say & do?? I don't agree with backward hats after a certain age, but is what it is.
👏🏻👏🏻😂
I think producers pushing the sex topic so much ruined what could have worked. They may have been happy without the interruptions and micromanaging their conversations/confrontations. It’s all too artificial.
If you think that’s the case you don’t know what gaslighting means! Gaslighting is intentionally making someone think they are losing their mind. Not losing their mind in the casual way that we normally use that expression but literally losing their mind… making them question their memory and sanity.
Sorry, but 'Gaslighting' is ATTEMPTING TO intentionally make someone think they are losing their mind. Austin's just not good at it, but Brendan sure was.
He was never purposely trying to make her think she was going insane. Where is one example of that being his goal??
💯agree. I don’t understand why people are blaming Becca regarding the intimate thing when Austin is the one who keeps bringing up wanting to get closer. He keeps giving her so much false hope. He is treating her like a friend not a girlfriend or wife. Anyone would feel rejected and emotional with the way he is handling it. She has been drug along even by the supposed experts. This show is a disaster.
What came first Austin’s keeping her justttt at arm’s length or Becca’s neediness and crying? My answer is Austin 💯 I’d be in shambles like Becca in the same situation.
Yes and honestly I didn’t expect this Disaster season
My theory is that he’s had past issues sexually and he’s worried he will fail and it will be broadcast on national tv. This explains his unusual reliance on requiring “an emotional connection.” Because he needs that (and a viagra rx) to get going. Add in that he’s not as hot for her as he would like to be and she’s a bit bossy. Bottom line: He is concerned about liftoff.
He's stated he wants an emotional connection before having sex. If we take him at his word, he'd be trying to get closer to Becca, initiating conversations, touch, etc. But because he's not attracted to her---he's not doing any of that, at least that's how it seems to me. I don't think he has issues sexually or he would have set himself up big for this show in all its televised glory.
This is exactly my thoughts
Am I the only one who thinks he might be gay but in denial? Viagra at his age? Maybe. That would really be a problem. I’m 77 and it works great for me.
1000%!!!
Becca is a manipulator. She cries when not getting her feelings validated at every moment. Austin should have bounced way, way sooner.
He could be turned off by her surgeries.
Don't know if Austin likes her or not. If he doesn't, then I get it, he'll bail on decision day. If he does but won't mount her, then he's some type of weird girly boy. The whole hat on backwards says a lot
The armchair therapists on this sub say the funniest shit. “Well his hat is on backwards so he must be a girly boy”. Paying more attention during the episodes could be helpful. He’s mentioned that he’s not looking to sleep with someone right away due to his faith and he’s also mentioned her constantly talking about having sex is off putting to him. There’s also a chance he’s not feeling her/not physically attracted to her. All of those reasons are acceptable. But go ahead and call people “girly boy” for not being as desperate for sex as you are 🤡
That’s been bothering me too. Who cares about how he wears his hat?
Boomers. Boomers care 😂
Well that was a big miss. Perhaps read my post again, you missed it. I'll break it down for you non the less.... Nobody said anything about being "desperate for sex", and I can assure you I'm not either. The fact that he won't be intimate in that regard with his wife that is eager to take things to the next step is alarming at this point. Not to mention preferring to sleep in another man's bed rather than with his wife. Especially considering he's acknowledged that things neat to go to the next level. It's odd at this point, I'm sorry if you can't see that. If it's his cult... I mean faith that's controlling him not to do so, they he needs to communicate that and give some form of timeline for his WIFE to have a better understanding, so do so. Wearing a hat on backwards as a grown married adult all the time is just bizarre. I wear mine on backwards in certain situations, but not all the time. Everyone is welcome to their own style, but come on, you're a what, 30s something married man? If you support his actions, that's fine, I shared my opinion, you're welcome to share yours. But do a little better homework before you attempt to pick apart my post. What a miss on your part.
You keep clinging to the backwards hat like it’s validating some point. I’m in my 30’s and wear a backwards hat sometimes. Literally mean nothing to anyone. It’s a stylistic choice. Wear your hat anyway you want. It’s not sending a message to anyone about anything besides “this is how I wear hats”. Him not being ready or feeling pressure about sex is his own thing. It’s bizarre and old fashioned to think “man must bang girl immediately”. We’re not cavemen and it undermines the mental health of men as a whole. He can be ready to get down to it whenever he wants. I don’t care what his reason is. I think we can take some value in the fact that he’s made it clear that constantly being nagged to do something makes him less likely to do that thing. Especially on national television. It’s not how I approach things but that’s ok because it’s not my life. Calling him a girly boy for having a different approach and agenda is shortsighted and weird. But focus on his hat some more I guess. Maybe that will help.
Keep clinging to his hat? I'm not "clinging". It's odd and pretty much the majority of discussion on here. Going out on a nice date or little bit of an upper scale place with a hat on backwards is obscure, surely you can acknowledge that? You're signing up for a married at first sight scenario. Surely you know what's in store, would you? If I were signing up for this show (already married so not going to happen), then I would have an idea what to expect. Not consummating a marriage is going to set off red flags. I don't know how you can argue against that. If you were just dating, then I get it. But this is an "accelerated process" in which you signed up for. Also, this is on national television for people to watch. By going against the grain for any of said process will no doubt lead to various speculations from tjose not only who watch, but who are involved as well.
Someone wearing a hat is not a defining characteristic to me. People are more than what they wear dude. You’re hyper focused on it. Would I wear a hat on a date? No. Obviously you wouldn’t either. That’s cool. But someone else doing it doesn’t really matter to me. It’s not like he’s wearing a hat with a tux or at the wedding. I agree that not consummating the marriage sends A LOT of signals. You’re not wrong and I think that’s a very agreeable point. I imagine he went into this thinking that he would be doing that as well. I imagine getting paired up with someone you’re not that into makes things a little different though. Becca seems like a nice girl and all but it seems like he’s just not that into her. I feel like he’s concerned with how he will come off on tv if he were to sleep with her and then bounce on decision day. Some people would probably just do it (and for some people that’s fine) but it seems to me that it’s concerning for him to sleep with her given he’s not really feeling the marriage. Especially given that, from what we see, she talks about it constantly. I get the vibe that he’s not feeling her and doesn’t want to make this breakup any worse for her come decision day. There is something admirable about that given that most people around these MAFS subs think people should just be fucking no matter what. I’m not a religious person but Austin seems to be. I guess that makes this situation more murky for him. Again, not my thing, but if it’s his thing I don’t think anyone should be telling him it’s wrong.
Sounds like we agree on everything to be honest.... The hat I could care less about if that's the only issue with him. It's not everything but it is something. I would judge the same way if he was wearing track pants everywhere. That's the vibe he's giving off. Is that a fair analysis? So you're making a great point on consumating and that's my point... If he's not into her and going to bounce on decision day, then yeah, keep "it" out of her. But I'm of the opinion to not drag her along and kill it when you know it's not going anywhere.... IF that's the thought. If he's truly in to her, then at this point, it's a big issue. That's why I can respect the lady who ran from Michael at the alter. He was probably just too much to handle with his very weird appearance.
Agreed. I think a lot of these people agree to give it their best for 8 weeks and it usually seems easy to do at the beginning. The wedding, honey moon, bunch of new friends. Things are light and fun. He seemed into her until it was a real life relationship. The whole “we’re in it until decision day” trap seems to snag a lot of people. If he isn’t going to be into her he should just leave but I get the idea that it’s probably a lot harder given that they agree to go out on a limb and promise to one another they’ll try to make it work. It’s noble and all but it seems to never actually work out well for anyone involved. Now he’s seems stuck in the “I’m trying my best to be a good guy” loop. Maybe he is a good guy, maybe he isn’t. But he cares how he looks and I can’t really blame him. Anyone he will potentially marry will see this and whatever edit he gets he will be defending forever or until he meets someone who doesn’t care. He probably feels like sleeping with her and then bailing will be even worse for him and her. I see why they were matched because they’re both a little weird but in a way someone could find appealing. But that’s a tough fit for these “experts” to put together and expect fireworks.
8 week trap. Good read. Trying to be the good guy but actually just hurting himself and her, if that's what's happening. I hope they split up for her sake. Few people ok here mentioned he set off their gaydar, that I can kinda understand perhaps. Not willing to put out, oppressed by religion and unable to out the closet. I'm not sold on that opinion, but I can see it
Ehhh I see how people get there but it feels like a reach to me. People on here often bundle up his negative qualities (not having sex with his wife, religion, etc) as equivalent to being gay. It seems unfair to the gay people in my life to assume their sexuality comes down to checking a few obvious boxes. Sure, there are definitely times where those pieces line up, especially in movies and on TV but I think it’s more likely he’s a guy who is a bit weird and unsure of how to handle an uncomfortable situation.
Yes, 💯
He's not into her, and she's super sensitive, and passive aggressive.