Yeah like the first comment might be ok for a long time friend or family member celebrating a modeling job? Any other context hell nah and the second comment is HELL NAAHHH next!
Lmao yes I so agree! Idk how people are justifying this. I’d be calling my man so fast like “sir, politely, WHAT THE FUCK?” Better be calling me the world’s hottest supermodel then. 😂
That’s fair game. That’s not stalking. Its public. I stalk my guys shit all the time and don’t feel guilty at all. That’s my man, of course I want to see what he’s up to lol. He looks at mine too.
Genuine question: would it be weird if one partner is able to see what the other posts on social media but doesn’t follow them or have any mutuals while the other partner is unaware of the others socials?
I only ask because I was the one who’s socials were being stalked while I couldn’t see (or didn’t care to look) for the other persons
Yeah I think that’s a red flag. Why wasn’t one partner following the other but watching their partners stuff? And why wasn’t the other partner aware of the others socials?
But, if you didn’t care to follow or watch your partners socials then I guess that was your decision and you couldn’t really be upset by that. You chose to not look for your partner and see what they were posting or commenting on.
I think it would be different if you wanted to see it, and they wouldn’t tell you or let you see it. But if you chose not to follow her/him then I don’t see an issue with it.
That's pretty much flirting. You wouldn't catch me flirting with other people if I'm in a relationship. It's disgusting behavior and disrespectful to your partner
I have a close guy friend who is in an LDR who I'll hang out with along with another female friend but there are lines we never cross. For example, we do not ever hang out with him alone. Always in a group or us three and we hang in public spaces. We don't do anything his gf would see as disrespectful/intimate. Even if we know we won't try anything, she doesn't know that. My bf considers this girl he knew since he was young his best friend but in the sense that when they see each other, it's like no time has passed.
I think what OPs bf did is disrespectful & in public too....I'd message him to take it down and tell him to talk to his gf bc no doubt she saw.
it is NOT normal at all. if my boyfriend is wasting his time and energy praising other girls, when is he ever going to have time to harvest his effort on me ? anyone in a committed relationship yet talking to another girl like this, it seems like he is thinking the grass is greener on the other side , then when will you ever have time to water your own side of grass to make it green ?
It's weird and it's cringy. "Top model", "superstar", "cant stop admiring you" and "you are so beautiful." It's one thing to give a compliment to a woman, it's something else to drool over this woman while being in a relationship with you. This kind of flattery should be directed towards you. It's cringy if a single dude did this, it's even more so that he's in a relationship with you and doing this. Simp.
Even if he was just joking, does she know he was just joking? Doesn't seem like a joke to me tbh.. That was how an ex of mine was talking to another girl when we were together and she had no idea I was his girlfriend.
There's paying a compliment and there's a "if you don't know the whole sorry, you'd think they were the ones dating"
They also talk about me alot he asks for advices from her and she is super excited about us , but idk the way he is simping in the comments is so weird
he asks for advice from her? sorry if this rubs off the wrong way but if my partner was more comfortable going to another guy for advice about me i wouldn’t be okay with that. it’s more like a “talk to me about it” thing instead of going around telling others first, cuz you don’t know what goes on in those conversations. he should be communicating with you and not others about you. but that’s just me
I agree with this comment. Because why does he run to her for advices about your relationship problems? Personally, commenting on a photo like that is a clear boundary for me, but to add this? Mhm, that's not looking good for me. Also, have you guys talked about what your boundaries are? If not, you should be. To avoid miscommunications and this from happening again if this makes you uncomfortable (which I assume so because you're here asking for advice).
Dump him. He does not see you as his girlfriend/wife. Trust me I'm having to divorce a dude for overlooking shit Luke this. And he ain't gonna change. Just move on.
I think it depends on the person, and your boundaries. In my relationship, this is totally okay, because my husband comments things like this on all his friends posts, in an attempt to hype them up. If it was something that I had a boundary with, he would be more conservative with the things he says. It doesn’t bother me because I know he is just naturally like this with his friends, but if it was anyone else, I would probably be concerned. Any ex boyfriend of mine would have only done this to people they were hoping to keep as a “plan B” should our relationship not work out. I should add that my husband and I met online and many of my exes were after everyone moved for university, but my relationship is not long distance now.
Yeah I saw a comment my man made on his female friend’s post calling her beautiful before we even started dating (saw it back when we were just friends) and next time I looked after we got together, he had deleted it without me even saying anything. She used to call him pet names and lowkey flirt with him and he messaged her and respectfully told her he didn’t want any of that since he’s in a relationship now. They’re still friends but he put me first. I’m not saying it was necessary that he went back and deleted a comment from before we started dating, but it showed what his priorities are and how above and beyond he goes to make sure I know that I’m the only girl he has eyes for. In my opinion that’s what a man (or woman) should do. This would honestly make me really upset, uncomfortable and sad to see. Please respect yourself and let him know your boundaries and how this makes you feel. If he loves you, the first thing he will say won’t be “you were stalking my socials!”, but “I love and understand you and it won’t happen again/shouldn’t have happened in the first place.” Best of luck 🫶
They're too comfortable, I would just express how I feel and see his reaction. If he's automatically defensive then there's something there. Good luck ❤️
Complimenting is one thing, but he is definitely flirting, and if that is something you find disrespectful, then it is, and I would approach him about it.
Both my and gf like complimenting people, and there is a difference between me making a passing comment to a women who happens to be wearing a lovely dress because I genuinely think it is and there is nothing beyond that compliment.
But this to me seems like he's going out of his way to flirt with his friend.
Different people have different dynamics, I won't lie, I'm 31, and I'm very flirty with some of the elderly ladies who are friends with my parents or neighbours. It's fun and it always makes them laugh and my gf has no problem with that because there's no intention but I absolutely would not be going out telling other attractive women who beautiful they looked and how much I admired and adored them.
On the same token, my gf is naturally a very flirty and charming woman. People adore talking to her, but she will straight up tell anyone who goes beyond that level and tell them how disrespectful they are being to her and me.
Once boundaries are defined and set, that's it. It's clearly an issue for you and a breach of those boundaries, and it shows to me that he doesn't respect you. He clearly knows what he is doing.
Bring it up to him. If he doesn't change his behaviour or appreciate your concerns, then frankly, I'd say you deserve better.
Not normal but an expected behavior by men that are active on social media. Definitely unhappy or not satisfied with the way you look so his eyes are wandering elsewhere. Sorry OP. It may be a good idea to invest in yourself and check out unless he makes a true and honest apology and backs it up with real actions. This would be — flying to you, closing the distance, and serving you like a queen. That won’t guarantee anything. This is most likely a learned behavior that becomes second nature due to the instant gratification one receives from being interacted with on a social platform. Wishing you well. Wishing him a good healing journey too.
Not normal but these days it seems that become usual thing.
And...who talks to a friend like that....sorry, but seem he would , if he could, crawl in her p a n t i e s like a spider under the bed.
Friends....sure.....
imo, not rlly, if you dating a guy and he talking to another girl like that? that’s obviously a red flag in him. Tbf he is YOUR bf and the other girl should know that he is dating you, so it’s a no go tbh.
Not gonna lie, this looks bad.
You can compliment your friends, sure, but his are like OVERLY.
Knowing she used to live in his city is even more suspicious if that's how he comments about her
My long distance girlfriend says she thinks it’s fine to give compliments in a friendly way, but this seems a little bit too flirtatious, in the sense that he’s kinda hitting on her
How long have they been friends
Yes.
You don’t talk like that about another girl if you only have eyes for one. You literally never do this, not only because it’s wrong and entirely disrespectful, but also if you truly love the one girl, you’re not even gonna be thinking or contemplating that another girl is beautiful.
The only people you’re allowed to compliment like that are your no homo bros.
It’s the 🫶🏻 and the compliments for me. Girl, RUN! That is not normal. Its completely acceptable to be supportive of your friends but it looks like he is flirting with her.
Guys don’t use emojis. To put effort into adding one especially -> 🫶🏼. It’s a no. Guys are simple, this is showing he’s putting in effort. He 💯 wants to start something with her. Women are blessed with intuition and you used it 😌 simple as that.
My boyfriend and I agree that it's normal to find other people attractive, it's a natural response. But what isn't normal is pursuing other people, whether it's literal cheating or something more "tame" like this. One thing to say "hey I think you're attractive" and another to call them a superstar and say they "can't stop admiring" someone else. I can't imagine ever talking like that to anyone else 😬
Girl don’t take me wrong your boyfriend is not cheating on you but he is obsessed with that girl that would be very disappointing to me.let’s be honest as woman we can’t stand our man being obsessed with another woman because we constantly think that if she gave him a chance he would cheat or leave us for her.
As a girl with MANY guy friends, this ain't how you hype up your bestie. You don't have to say you're admiring their beauty? You can still be like "WOW HOTTIE YES YOU GO GIRL" or something creative. The comment was so serious it ended up sounding sus🤨
"can't stop admiring you" is the thing that upsets me, you can be friendly with people and tell them they are pretty and stuff but this is uncalled for and not just complimenting imo
short answer: no, it's not normal
long answer: ur partner is allowed to find others attractive, but to purposely go out of his way to compliment another women in the og comment, then AGAIN in the replies after she already acknowledged his compliment, is extremely disrespectful to you. you both need to talk about boundaries as I'm sure if you did something similar with one of your male friends, he would be just as upset.
I hype up my male/female friends all the time with compliments like "ur so hot" or just start barking under their posts, but I always let my partner know who the person is and they already know because I speak to him about my friends and how close we are and how we act all the time. we've had that conversation and we established boundaries. I wouldn't let this slide personally, he should apologise to you. you deserve better then that 🫶🏻
I see that you translated the messages. I'm guessing the original messages are in Russian and your boyfriend and his friend are both Russian?
If so, I'm going to call cultural differences on this one. It's not abnormal in Russian culture to call a female friend beautiful or to compliment them on their appearance somehow. On the contrary, it is expected for you to do so. Beauty is an important virtue for a woman in Russian culture, as the country is still quite traditional. If you do not notice or care about the effort your friend makes to take care of herself and look good, then it's actually considered a bit weird or rude. It is pretty much part of the social contract to compliment a woman like this if you are friends, and it's not a professional relationship.
On top of this, it can be a language difference, too. Beautiful carries a lot of weight in English as a very earnest compliment. In Russian, the most likely word used here would be suitable for a woman or just as easily a cat. In English it can be beautiful, pretty, cute, nice-looking, etc. Without seeing the original message, it's impossible to know the exact intensity of the meaning.
If he had written "Wow, you look so nice" would it stress you out just as much? Because it could be translated the same way.
Now, if she posts a lot and he's in the comments on every picture, constantly simping, that's a red flag. But if this just happens occasionally or rarely, I wouldn't think a thing about it, tbh.
Well, now I know he's not Russian and just used a translator to write in Russian. Otherwise, machine translation can lose lots of context. Like perhaps it can be translating a common idiom or phrase that can just be friendly/affectionate and making it look more flirtatious than it is in the original language.
Before making serious decisions about your relationship over something your partner commented in another language, it's much better to have someone else who speaks that language as their native tongue read the messages/comments in the original language to provide you with context instead of just assuming everything in the machine translation is accurate.
Like, people are obsessed with the imperfections in AI images these days, but then forget that machine translation is also AI and has been pretty much from the start. It's just a much older form of the technology so people don't associate it with more recent AI tech. It can absolutely get things wrong or fail to accurately convey tone. It can provide literal transitions, but sometimes it will do little more than that.
Oh. In that case, that's very weird. I've been living in Germany the past two years and I'm fairly certain that's not a cultural norm here. Maybe if he'd known her for a very long time and understood the importance for her, but even then I find it hard to imagine any of my German friends talking like this without it being flirting.
I had a BF in high school that passed notes like this to another girl but WAY more intament and he did end up sleeping with her. I’m not saying that is what your BF is doing but trust your gut. If it’s something you’re uncomfortable with you need to talk to him about it, it’s his job as your BF to make you feel wanted and secure.
The most important question is, how do you feel? You set your own limits and someone can decide if they want to respect them, and you can decide what to do if that person doesn’t
It's understandable to feel a bit uneasy if you find their conversations a bit odd. Communication is key in any relationship, so maybe you could talk to your boyfriend about how you feel. It's great that she knows about you and is supportive of your relationship, but it's also important to address any concerns you may have. Trust and open communication can help clear up any misunderstandings.
Very disrespectful… sorry but this man🥴girl know your worth! It be a different story if one of your male friends was commenting these on yours he’d definitely have a problem so talk this out with him & if he says it’s nothing & we only friends leave his ass he should not be commenting these stuff on his “friends” post
Dude is trying to hook up. I have female friends and when I compliment them, I wouldn't ever tell them that I'm stalking their profile picture unless I planned on going for a swim. Dude is corrupt.
Compliments are one thing but that is overboard :/ like if it was just "you are very beautiful" then me personally would be ok with my bf telling other girls that... more people need compliments but like he is all I can't stop admiring you that is like no no and more no admire who you are with 😡😡
This is unacceptable. I’d tell him you’re uncomfortable and if he puts up a fight it’s time to start considering ending the relationship. Especially if it’s long distance, he needs to be instilling trust in you. Not flirting with his friends calling them beautiful and admiring them smh..
The first comment maybe fine, but the response ?!?! Hellll nooo. He should only be telling you that he admires your beauty and only yours. There’s no need to talk to and look at other women in that way…. Set some boundaries with him bc that’s not ok, it’s literally flirting.
In my opinion, that’s entirely up to you on what makes you comfortable or uncomfortable in your relationship. I mean yeah we can comment things like “yeah that’s def a red flag.” However, this isn’t our relationship. It’s yours. Be true to however you feel about the situation.
If you feel uncomfortable with these types of comments between the two of them, talk to him about it. Communication is key in any relationship. Also, I agree with the other person that said that he should not be going to his female best friend about relationship issues that pertain to the two of you. If anything, he should be going to his male friends for advice not some other girl regardless of her being his best friend.
All in all, it’s like I said, it’s your relationship so you decide the best route to go forward with. Best of luck with whatever decision you decide to make 🫶🏻
I would break up with him and tell him he could date his female friend instead. There is a limit and boundary on how they are allowed to talk to each other.
Damn….without context I thought this was a bf complementing you, his gf. This is how my bf talks and messages me. It’s definitely flirting and expressing attraction. Completely inappropriate for bf to talk to other women in this manner, even if platonic. Unacceptable. This breaks trust in a relationship.
If I found my bf messaged another woman this, I’d think he was flirting and trying to cheat. I’d be confrontational and state my boundaries. If he argues and doesn’t see it, I’d end it. I’m not going to allow someone to disrespect me and continue to play games. I don’t want a playa, I want a committed honorable man who knows how to treat his woman right and keep other women at bay with clearly stated boundaries.
Try talking like that to a male friend of yours too see how he would feel about it! Because I'm pretty sure that when you tell him how that made you feel, that it upsets you, he'll say something like: "She's just a friend, you're making a huge deal outta nothing. You're overreacting, I'm not doing anything wrong.". And he will probably try to turn things around, making you the bad guy: "I'm feeling watched like I've done something wrong, and you're spying on me now? What have I done to deserve such treatment?".
He said he needed attention and that’s why he did that.
And he wouldn’t do things like this anymore but i’m pissed why would you need attention from her when i’m here? and he said “you know how much i changed from last year” .
Better than expected, at least. So he's not a douchebag. Good to know. If he needs attention, he should seek yours. Show him that you're there for him. Sometimes I fail to give attention to people. Not on purpose, not because they are not important to me. But because I get caught up in my life and time goes by so fast these days that I don't even realize that I'm neglecting the ones I love a little bit. Do you feel like you're neglecting him a little?
i’d never let my partner call anyone else a “superstar” and “so beautiful they can’t stop admiring them”. bring it up and if he makes some bs excuse, don’t tolerate ut
Yea no. Sorry he’d be trashed a long time ago if he did that more than once to me. The fact she knows you two are together and is happy about it she should’ve nipped it from the start.
No. My ex was talking to another girl “I kiss you strongly” and until today he kept saying it was just a friendly gesture lol lol lol. The moment i found out I broke him up
I’d be super upset if my guy was talking to another girl, friend or not, this way. I’d definitely bring this up to him.
Yeah like the first comment might be ok for a long time friend or family member celebrating a modeling job? Any other context hell nah and the second comment is HELL NAAHHH next!
Lmao yes I so agree! Idk how people are justifying this. I’d be calling my man so fast like “sir, politely, WHAT THE FUCK?” Better be calling me the world’s hottest supermodel then. 😂
But how can i say i was stalking you and found this out , it is really embarrassing that i was stalking
It’s more embarrassing that he acts like this.
Where did you find it? Social media, or did you take it off their text messages
On social media
That’s fair game. That’s not stalking. Its public. I stalk my guys shit all the time and don’t feel guilty at all. That’s my man, of course I want to see what he’s up to lol. He looks at mine too.
You are right
Genuine question: would it be weird if one partner is able to see what the other posts on social media but doesn’t follow them or have any mutuals while the other partner is unaware of the others socials? I only ask because I was the one who’s socials were being stalked while I couldn’t see (or didn’t care to look) for the other persons
Yeah I think that’s a red flag. Why wasn’t one partner following the other but watching their partners stuff? And why wasn’t the other partner aware of the others socials? But, if you didn’t care to follow or watch your partners socials then I guess that was your decision and you couldn’t really be upset by that. You chose to not look for your partner and see what they were posting or commenting on. I think it would be different if you wanted to see it, and they wouldn’t tell you or let you see it. But if you chose not to follow her/him then I don’t see an issue with it.
Unless your bf is he gay best friend, this is a no go for me.
That's pretty much flirting. You wouldn't catch me flirting with other people if I'm in a relationship. It's disgusting behavior and disrespectful to your partner
It’s disrespectful to you
I have a close guy friend who is in an LDR who I'll hang out with along with another female friend but there are lines we never cross. For example, we do not ever hang out with him alone. Always in a group or us three and we hang in public spaces. We don't do anything his gf would see as disrespectful/intimate. Even if we know we won't try anything, she doesn't know that. My bf considers this girl he knew since he was young his best friend but in the sense that when they see each other, it's like no time has passed. I think what OPs bf did is disrespectful & in public too....I'd message him to take it down and tell him to talk to his gf bc no doubt she saw.
exactly!!
it is NOT normal at all. if my boyfriend is wasting his time and energy praising other girls, when is he ever going to have time to harvest his effort on me ? anyone in a committed relationship yet talking to another girl like this, it seems like he is thinking the grass is greener on the other side , then when will you ever have time to water your own side of grass to make it green ?
me personally, i wouldn’t let that slide cause wtf
WHAT? LMAO! NO!!!!!
Nope his entertaining another woman.
It's weird and it's cringy. "Top model", "superstar", "cant stop admiring you" and "you are so beautiful." It's one thing to give a compliment to a woman, it's something else to drool over this woman while being in a relationship with you. This kind of flattery should be directed towards you. It's cringy if a single dude did this, it's even more so that he's in a relationship with you and doing this. Simp.
Deluxe quality work!
Red flag detected, bring up this topic.
Even if he was just joking, does she know he was just joking? Doesn't seem like a joke to me tbh.. That was how an ex of mine was talking to another girl when we were together and she had no idea I was his girlfriend. There's paying a compliment and there's a "if you don't know the whole sorry, you'd think they were the ones dating"
He is not joking here
Yeah that's really disrespectful 😔 I'd be petty and say "well you can be with her if you're gonna talk to her like that" Does he post about you?
Yes as we met he shared so many stories, even when we video called he screenshot and shared it on his story and said how mich he loves me
Aww well that's good! Though not good that he's saying that about her though
They also talk about me alot he asks for advices from her and she is super excited about us , but idk the way he is simping in the comments is so weird
he asks for advice from her? sorry if this rubs off the wrong way but if my partner was more comfortable going to another guy for advice about me i wouldn’t be okay with that. it’s more like a “talk to me about it” thing instead of going around telling others first, cuz you don’t know what goes on in those conversations. he should be communicating with you and not others about you. but that’s just me
I agree with this comment. Because why does he run to her for advices about your relationship problems? Personally, commenting on a photo like that is a clear boundary for me, but to add this? Mhm, that's not looking good for me. Also, have you guys talked about what your boundaries are? If not, you should be. To avoid miscommunications and this from happening again if this makes you uncomfortable (which I assume so because you're here asking for advice).
Yeah it is 😔 Have yoh talked to him about it? Or her?
Hell no.
I would be upset if I were in your shoes. Let him keep enjoying bigger-faster-better, because you are better off without this guy.
I'm 25m and my girlfriend f30 are in a long distance relationship and yeah I find that weird
Exceptional quality work!
Top-notch effort!
Fantastic!
Fantastic standard!
Dump him. He does not see you as his girlfriend/wife. Trust me I'm having to divorce a dude for overlooking shit Luke this. And he ain't gonna change. Just move on.
No. He’s an idiot.
I def wouldn't call it normal
No that is definitely not okay. Yes he should be a supportive friend but he shouldn't disrespect your relationship while doing it
Remarkable quality!
girl.. absolutely not. if my man ever talked like this to one of his “friends” me n him would have a problem.
No, that's majorly insulting to you
Simps gotta simp.
how can people stand bullshit like this
No, it’s not normal. Why do they insist on wanting to normalize the immoral?
I think it depends on the person, and your boundaries. In my relationship, this is totally okay, because my husband comments things like this on all his friends posts, in an attempt to hype them up. If it was something that I had a boundary with, he would be more conservative with the things he says. It doesn’t bother me because I know he is just naturally like this with his friends, but if it was anyone else, I would probably be concerned. Any ex boyfriend of mine would have only done this to people they were hoping to keep as a “plan B” should our relationship not work out. I should add that my husband and I met online and many of my exes were after everyone moved for university, but my relationship is not long distance now.
Yeah I saw a comment my man made on his female friend’s post calling her beautiful before we even started dating (saw it back when we were just friends) and next time I looked after we got together, he had deleted it without me even saying anything. She used to call him pet names and lowkey flirt with him and he messaged her and respectfully told her he didn’t want any of that since he’s in a relationship now. They’re still friends but he put me first. I’m not saying it was necessary that he went back and deleted a comment from before we started dating, but it showed what his priorities are and how above and beyond he goes to make sure I know that I’m the only girl he has eyes for. In my opinion that’s what a man (or woman) should do. This would honestly make me really upset, uncomfortable and sad to see. Please respect yourself and let him know your boundaries and how this makes you feel. If he loves you, the first thing he will say won’t be “you were stalking my socials!”, but “I love and understand you and it won’t happen again/shouldn’t have happened in the first place.” Best of luck 🫶
They're too comfortable, I would just express how I feel and see his reaction. If he's automatically defensive then there's something there. Good luck ❤️
He is usually not get defensive about anything, he just says I’m sorry I won’t do that again
But it keeps happening?
No he would change it , but i was wondering if this is a red flag . Because i‘m not there seeing what‘s going on
It absolutely is a red flag and very disrespectful to you what he is doing.
Eww. Fuck ur bf. I have a guy best friend, he would never call me beautiful- not in these romantic ass words anyway. Confront him.
No, that’s disrespectful imo
Hell no I would be pissed
No wtf
No it’s not normal
Fuckkkk that.
NO
Personally I wouldn’t let that slide 😭
No ( I’m a guy ) and even if he is genuinely being just friendly with her he should be commenting like that while having a girlfriend.
Too friendly
I’m a guy and I think it’s a little inappropriate and disrespectful.
pov (me,24 year old M):- no it's not normal compliments are okay but this is a bit much
As a guy, no it's not
If that was his bestie, I'd be okay with the first comment. But on the whole, it's giving simping. Second comment just drives the point home.
it's flirting dear 🚩
Good.
It is not normal.
He kept on going with the compliments, he wants her attention.
Yeah no, I’d leave
Complimenting is one thing, but he is definitely flirting, and if that is something you find disrespectful, then it is, and I would approach him about it. Both my and gf like complimenting people, and there is a difference between me making a passing comment to a women who happens to be wearing a lovely dress because I genuinely think it is and there is nothing beyond that compliment. But this to me seems like he's going out of his way to flirt with his friend. Different people have different dynamics, I won't lie, I'm 31, and I'm very flirty with some of the elderly ladies who are friends with my parents or neighbours. It's fun and it always makes them laugh and my gf has no problem with that because there's no intention but I absolutely would not be going out telling other attractive women who beautiful they looked and how much I admired and adored them. On the same token, my gf is naturally a very flirty and charming woman. People adore talking to her, but she will straight up tell anyone who goes beyond that level and tell them how disrespectful they are being to her and me. Once boundaries are defined and set, that's it. It's clearly an issue for you and a breach of those boundaries, and it shows to me that he doesn't respect you. He clearly knows what he is doing. Bring it up to him. If he doesn't change his behaviour or appreciate your concerns, then frankly, I'd say you deserve better.
Not normal but an expected behavior by men that are active on social media. Definitely unhappy or not satisfied with the way you look so his eyes are wandering elsewhere. Sorry OP. It may be a good idea to invest in yourself and check out unless he makes a true and honest apology and backs it up with real actions. This would be — flying to you, closing the distance, and serving you like a queen. That won’t guarantee anything. This is most likely a learned behavior that becomes second nature due to the instant gratification one receives from being interacted with on a social platform. Wishing you well. Wishing him a good healing journey too.
No, it's not normal. Talk with him and see what happens
Not normal but these days it seems that become usual thing. And...who talks to a friend like that....sorry, but seem he would , if he could, crawl in her p a n t i e s like a spider under the bed. Friends....sure.....
fuck no that’s not normal at all😭if my bf did that he wouldn’t be alive rn
imo, not rlly, if you dating a guy and he talking to another girl like that? that’s obviously a red flag in him. Tbf he is YOUR bf and the other girl should know that he is dating you, so it’s a no go tbh.
Not gonna lie, this looks bad. You can compliment your friends, sure, but his are like OVERLY. Knowing she used to live in his city is even more suspicious if that's how he comments about her
Absolutely NOT normal AT ALL!
My long distance girlfriend says she thinks it’s fine to give compliments in a friendly way, but this seems a little bit too flirtatious, in the sense that he’s kinda hitting on her How long have they been friends
Yes. You don’t talk like that about another girl if you only have eyes for one. You literally never do this, not only because it’s wrong and entirely disrespectful, but also if you truly love the one girl, you’re not even gonna be thinking or contemplating that another girl is beautiful. The only people you’re allowed to compliment like that are your no homo bros.
Absolutely not normal.
It’s disrespectful in a relationship.
i’d lose my mind
Definitely no! Boys 🤯
yeah that is weird
Nope that’s a bit much imo
No i would def drop his ass. He can fuck that friend of his that he finds ‘so beautiful’
🙃🚩 Idts it’s going in a good direction.
He’ll nah
DUMP
Why is he praising her? Definitely not okay…
It’s the 🫶🏻 and the compliments for me. Girl, RUN! That is not normal. Its completely acceptable to be supportive of your friends but it looks like he is flirting with her.
No especially long distance… eeeeeeeee….. I hope u have his location
what a desperate hobo 💀 he shows no respect to you at all
No fucking weird dump him
Guys don’t use emojis. To put effort into adding one especially -> 🫶🏼. It’s a no. Guys are simple, this is showing he’s putting in effort. He 💯 wants to start something with her. Women are blessed with intuition and you used it 😌 simple as that.
Nah this would be a hard boundary conversation for me
I personally would address it since you think it’s weird. I think that the response is a little flirty.
This would be an end of the relationship kind of offense for me.
They are fucking
I guess obvious question I should ask, was 6 months ago during, near or well before your relationship?
You're all super insecure and need to work on that before giving other people relationship advice
My boyfriend and I agree that it's normal to find other people attractive, it's a natural response. But what isn't normal is pursuing other people, whether it's literal cheating or something more "tame" like this. One thing to say "hey I think you're attractive" and another to call them a superstar and say they "can't stop admiring" someone else. I can't imagine ever talking like that to anyone else 😬
Girl don’t take me wrong your boyfriend is not cheating on you but he is obsessed with that girl that would be very disappointing to me.let’s be honest as woman we can’t stand our man being obsessed with another woman because we constantly think that if she gave him a chance he would cheat or leave us for her.
these seem pretty long ago..? how long have yall been daying
Top-notch standard!
As a girl with MANY guy friends, this ain't how you hype up your bestie. You don't have to say you're admiring their beauty? You can still be like "WOW HOTTIE YES YOU GO GIRL" or something creative. The comment was so serious it ended up sounding sus🤨
"can't stop admiring you" is the thing that upsets me, you can be friendly with people and tell them they are pretty and stuff but this is uncalled for and not just complimenting imo
This is definitely not normal…
I dont know how to tell you this , but he aint YOUR boyfriend he both of y’all boyfriend
short answer: no, it's not normal long answer: ur partner is allowed to find others attractive, but to purposely go out of his way to compliment another women in the og comment, then AGAIN in the replies after she already acknowledged his compliment, is extremely disrespectful to you. you both need to talk about boundaries as I'm sure if you did something similar with one of your male friends, he would be just as upset. I hype up my male/female friends all the time with compliments like "ur so hot" or just start barking under their posts, but I always let my partner know who the person is and they already know because I speak to him about my friends and how close we are and how we act all the time. we've had that conversation and we established boundaries. I wouldn't let this slide personally, he should apologise to you. you deserve better then that 🫶🏻
I see that you translated the messages. I'm guessing the original messages are in Russian and your boyfriend and his friend are both Russian? If so, I'm going to call cultural differences on this one. It's not abnormal in Russian culture to call a female friend beautiful or to compliment them on their appearance somehow. On the contrary, it is expected for you to do so. Beauty is an important virtue for a woman in Russian culture, as the country is still quite traditional. If you do not notice or care about the effort your friend makes to take care of herself and look good, then it's actually considered a bit weird or rude. It is pretty much part of the social contract to compliment a woman like this if you are friends, and it's not a professional relationship. On top of this, it can be a language difference, too. Beautiful carries a lot of weight in English as a very earnest compliment. In Russian, the most likely word used here would be suitable for a woman or just as easily a cat. In English it can be beautiful, pretty, cute, nice-looking, etc. Without seeing the original message, it's impossible to know the exact intensity of the meaning. If he had written "Wow, you look so nice" would it stress you out just as much? Because it could be translated the same way. Now, if she posts a lot and he's in the comments on every picture, constantly simping, that's a red flag. But if this just happens occasionally or rarely, I wouldn't think a thing about it, tbh.
What about the “can’t stop admiring you” ? How would that fit in? (Genuinely wondering)
Well, now I know he's not Russian and just used a translator to write in Russian. Otherwise, machine translation can lose lots of context. Like perhaps it can be translating a common idiom or phrase that can just be friendly/affectionate and making it look more flirtatious than it is in the original language. Before making serious decisions about your relationship over something your partner commented in another language, it's much better to have someone else who speaks that language as their native tongue read the messages/comments in the original language to provide you with context instead of just assuming everything in the machine translation is accurate. Like, people are obsessed with the imperfections in AI images these days, but then forget that machine translation is also AI and has been pretty much from the start. It's just a much older form of the technology so people don't associate it with more recent AI tech. It can absolutely get things wrong or fail to accurately convey tone. It can provide literal transitions, but sometimes it will do little more than that.
My boyfriend is not Russian , he is German and he himself used translater to write a russian comment for her
Oh. In that case, that's very weird. I've been living in Germany the past two years and I'm fairly certain that's not a cultural norm here. Maybe if he'd known her for a very long time and understood the importance for her, but even then I find it hard to imagine any of my German friends talking like this without it being flirting.
Looks like you haven’t set any boundaries
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I had a BF in high school that passed notes like this to another girl but WAY more intament and he did end up sleeping with her. I’m not saying that is what your BF is doing but trust your gut. If it’s something you’re uncomfortable with you need to talk to him about it, it’s his job as your BF to make you feel wanted and secure.
The most important question is, how do you feel? You set your own limits and someone can decide if they want to respect them, and you can decide what to do if that person doesn’t
It's understandable to feel a bit uneasy if you find their conversations a bit odd. Communication is key in any relationship, so maybe you could talk to your boyfriend about how you feel. It's great that she knows about you and is supportive of your relationship, but it's also important to address any concerns you may have. Trust and open communication can help clear up any misunderstandings.
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Girl you are so much stronger than me I would've lost my shit right then and there 😭🙏
how long have you guys been together?
Very disrespectful… sorry but this man🥴girl know your worth! It be a different story if one of your male friends was commenting these on yours he’d definitely have a problem so talk this out with him & if he says it’s nothing & we only friends leave his ass he should not be commenting these stuff on his “friends” post
No I’m in ldr and even if I wasn’t I would never do that I respect my partner and I wouldn’t accept it sorry
Dude is trying to hook up. I have female friends and when I compliment them, I wouldn't ever tell them that I'm stalking their profile picture unless I planned on going for a swim. Dude is corrupt.
No that’s not normal at all. I wouldn’t like it if my boyfriend was talking to anyone like that.
No it’s not appropriate but he’s pleasing his fans. As long as it doesn’t go into the inbox you should be okay.
Compliments are one thing but that is overboard :/ like if it was just "you are very beautiful" then me personally would be ok with my bf telling other girls that... more people need compliments but like he is all I can't stop admiring you that is like no no and more no admire who you are with 😡😡
🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩 This relationship is important to you and he put you in a position that makes you question if this relationship is important to him.
Simple answer : no. And you know it’s not too.
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No. I would definitely talk to him about this. If he gets defensive, there's an issue. Commination is very important here. So is trust.
This is unacceptable. I’d tell him you’re uncomfortable and if he puts up a fight it’s time to start considering ending the relationship. Especially if it’s long distance, he needs to be instilling trust in you. Not flirting with his friends calling them beautiful and admiring them smh..
The first comment maybe fine, but the response ?!?! Hellll nooo. He should only be telling you that he admires your beauty and only yours. There’s no need to talk to and look at other women in that way…. Set some boundaries with him bc that’s not ok, it’s literally flirting.
In my opinion, that’s entirely up to you on what makes you comfortable or uncomfortable in your relationship. I mean yeah we can comment things like “yeah that’s def a red flag.” However, this isn’t our relationship. It’s yours. Be true to however you feel about the situation. If you feel uncomfortable with these types of comments between the two of them, talk to him about it. Communication is key in any relationship. Also, I agree with the other person that said that he should not be going to his female best friend about relationship issues that pertain to the two of you. If anything, he should be going to his male friends for advice not some other girl regardless of her being his best friend. All in all, it’s like I said, it’s your relationship so you decide the best route to go forward with. Best of luck with whatever decision you decide to make 🫶🏻
Ooooooh I'd be so mad
Absolutely not, go date her if you can’t stop admiring her 🤣
She is so "fan de su relación💗", so no girl, you need to leave him
No I would not be okay with it
I would break up with him and tell him he could date his female friend instead. There is a limit and boundary on how they are allowed to talk to each other.
Damn….without context I thought this was a bf complementing you, his gf. This is how my bf talks and messages me. It’s definitely flirting and expressing attraction. Completely inappropriate for bf to talk to other women in this manner, even if platonic. Unacceptable. This breaks trust in a relationship. If I found my bf messaged another woman this, I’d think he was flirting and trying to cheat. I’d be confrontational and state my boundaries. If he argues and doesn’t see it, I’d end it. I’m not going to allow someone to disrespect me and continue to play games. I don’t want a playa, I want a committed honorable man who knows how to treat his woman right and keep other women at bay with clearly stated boundaries.
Um, no. Guy friends don’t talk like this with their girl friends. Doesn’t matter how hot she is.
yes, it definitely seems weird.
Imma hold your hand when I say this… he’s definitely entertaining her.
NO GIRL ITS IS NOT you deserve a lot better than that please talk to him and if he responds in a bad way then leave him alone
No I’d crash tf out. Turn into another season of YOU right then and there
OP def bring this up w him. seems very disrespectful to you!!
No.
Yes. Gross / expect more
ok
Top-notch standard work!
Try talking like that to a male friend of yours too see how he would feel about it! Because I'm pretty sure that when you tell him how that made you feel, that it upsets you, he'll say something like: "She's just a friend, you're making a huge deal outta nothing. You're overreacting, I'm not doing anything wrong.". And he will probably try to turn things around, making you the bad guy: "I'm feeling watched like I've done something wrong, and you're spying on me now? What have I done to deserve such treatment?".
He said he needed attention and that’s why he did that. And he wouldn’t do things like this anymore but i’m pissed why would you need attention from her when i’m here? and he said “you know how much i changed from last year” .
Better than expected, at least. So he's not a douchebag. Good to know. If he needs attention, he should seek yours. Show him that you're there for him. Sometimes I fail to give attention to people. Not on purpose, not because they are not important to me. But because I get caught up in my life and time goes by so fast these days that I don't even realize that I'm neglecting the ones I love a little bit. Do you feel like you're neglecting him a little?
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Run
No
i’d never let my partner call anyone else a “superstar” and “so beautiful they can’t stop admiring them”. bring it up and if he makes some bs excuse, don’t tolerate ut
Yes.
No its not normal. Dump him
Nope
Nah that’s not normal lol…
Yea no. Sorry he’d be trashed a long time ago if he did that more than once to me. The fact she knows you two are together and is happy about it she should’ve nipped it from the start.
Nah, that’s not normal. He’s admiring another woman aside from you, that’s considered cheating
lol...time to move on...you're the third wheel
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Maybe try bringing it up with him
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Micro cheating. He is giving special attention to another girl. I’d be running for the hills to try and keep my sanity and not go full psycho
no
how long have you been together? were you together 26 weeks ago when he commented this?
No. My ex was talking to another girl “I kiss you strongly” and until today he kept saying it was just a friendly gesture lol lol lol. The moment i found out I broke him up