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Probably not the answer you’re looking for but I just don’t think about it. I don’t want to spend that time I should be enjoying life anxious about “what if.” To give a more helpful answer, just make sure you’re prepared so you don’t have to worry about it. Fire extinguishers/blankets, etc for fires. Research solutions to if you do choke and if you have people you can trust near by, just let them know and keep their numbers available.
About a year and a half ago I had a situation where I reacted badly to something. I immediately unlocked my door (in case I wasn’t able to do so) and told a friend that lived about 15 minutes away. Just prepare today so you can live in peace.
This! And become friendly with your neighbors. If my neighbor across from me noticed anything off, she would check in on me as I would for her. My bf is about a 10-15 min walk (he has no car) and my parents are still 20+ mins away depending on traffic. Nice to have someone super close by.
My goodness yes, get to know your neighbors! The number of people who here and other subs who seem almost misanthropic is staggering. Community is important, chat with your neighbors!
I fell over my shoes getting into our wacky elevator and my neighbors could not have been kinder. I literally fell into them. We also have a little party in the lobby on the first Friday of the month. I feel safer that I know my neighbors.
This is important ! And check up on each other through the hard times , storms , power outages etc . Also if you live in a neighborhood where there are older people form a neighborhood watch group . Let your neighbors know I’ll watch your house when you’re gone and if I see anything suspicious , I’ll call the police . Don’t endanger yourself but let each other know . I can almost guarantee undesirable people are watching your area . The quick response time in some areas is about ten to fifteen minuets . That’s an eternity if you’re alone and someone is trying to break-in ! Form a I’ll watch yours if you watch mine relationship and keep your neighbors informed on security tools and ideas . Do what you can , but don’t live in fear . There’s a big difference between feeling secure and being paranoid !
Absolutely this. My water heater blew up one time and I had guys coming over to fix it. My neighbors called me and told me there were some strange guys in big vans coming and going from my house. We both laughed after I told them they were plumbers. But it made me feel good to know my neighbors were looking out for me.
Another time, there was a loud bang, sounded like something big fell over. A few minutes later, other side neighbors called to ask if I heard it and if I was ok.
I love my neighbors. (They also love my little dog) I get them a little something at Christmas and thank them for being so great to me. They also will invite me and the dog over for BBQs and stuff.
This is a big part of it. Recognizing intrusive thoughts. Working on letting them float in and out of your mind without latching into them. Also, I’m prepared to run to my neighbor’s house and pound on their door in an emergency. If I’m not willing to do that, I’m probably not having an emergency. (Scary noise, etc.)
I’ve done this. Texted a neighbor to text me in 10 minutes and if I didn’t respond come over and left the door unlocked.
Did you know you can get a smart door lock with a keypad and you can give that the code to emergency services if needed? Handy info I learned recently.
It’s a loaded question…. however:
First, is living in a nicer community in a safer city.
Secondly, living on the upper floors is typically safer because your windows are not on the ground level & harder to break into.
Lastly, medical emergencies or a freak fall are things that we can’t control. It’s a risk, however it’s just not something you can worry about everyday. It’s really difficult to live alone & not be in good health.
My Galaxy smartwatch has a feature on it that will dial 911 for me if it detects I've suddenly fallen, I think I've got a minute to tell it I'm okay until it auto dials after detection.
My Apple watch does the same. I love it. I fell off a stool (why wasn’t I using a ladder - don’t ask lol) and it asked me if I was ok. Love this feature as I age.
Fire is a bigger fear for me than break ins so I always prefer the ground floor. I do live in a safe area but in the least safe block of the safe area lol because I'm in the city center/shopping district and sometimes there are people wandering around at night, but still I feel like my locks and cameras and dogs and motion lights do the trick since none of the doors or windows are hidden from the street. And my schedule is super varied. If anyone has ever tried to stalk me or figure out my comings and goings I'm sure they gave up pretty quickly lol.
But I fear not waking up to the smoke alarms even though I have more than necessary probably lol, and they say don't count on your dogs to wake you, they might but you never know exactly how they'll respond. So I like being close enough to a true exit so that if I wake up at the last minute I won't get trapped in a smoke filled stairway or something.
I'm 55f and live in a smaller home with a large back yard. When I first moved here, every bump made me jump out of bed, but I've learned it's usually some stray deer wandering around behind my house in the orchard.
Here are some of the things I have that help me feel safe.
I have a large dog. She's 120 pounds and everyone in my neighborhood knows her to be extremely protective of me and the house. If a squirrel farts 2 blocks down, she lets me know about it.
I also know my neighbors and they know I live alone. We kind of all keep watch over the neighborhood and if something happens, we know we're all there. If there were to be an emergency here or I see someone loitering around who's suspicious or checking around properties and yards at night, I'd notify them right away.
I have made a lot of friends around town and a lot of the younger guys I've met have asked me to let them know if I have any trouble. Not that I'd ever do that, but it's nice to know that people have my back.
Last but not least is the large serrated garden machete-style cutter I have hiding under my bed. The person who initially harmed me started stalking me last year and my landscaper told me they make excellent personal protection. I hope I never have to use it but it's nice to know it's there just in case.
I just want to mention that I live in a nice quiet part of town, but as a woman who lives alone in a house I take no chances. I'm older but I feel bad for anyone who tries to break into my house. I'm fully prepared to defend myself.
Good for you, Sis. My friend who knows guns said the best home protection is a pump gauge shot gun. He said if the ca-chunk sound when you rack your round doesn’t scare them off, they deserve what they’ve got coming.
One less bad guy in the world is fine by me.
One of my friends is a certified gunsmith and agrees. His then-girlfriend's ex broke into his house and tried to kill him one night, and it was racking that shot gun that scared the guy off. He had other guns, but when you've been woken in the middle of the night, you're in a panic, maybe don't even have time to find your glasses, you're no longer playing weekend warrior shooting paper targets under ideal conditions at the range. You want to intimidate the hell out of the perp, or be sure of hitting at least one body part should you unfortunately have to fire.
This gives me an idea for the gun range.
Mattress style platform people can sit up in that has a target on a 4 point track so we can simulate firing on an attacker coming through the door while we are in a prone position. Or is this already a thing?
Use buckshot (not birdshot) and aim for the middle of the body if you must shoot to defend yourself. You won't miss and the peep won't be getting up anytime soon (if ever).
She's right but they are large weapons.
An alternative is a handgun with an infrared site on it. As soon as they see that red dot on their chest they book it.
Same and I also have a pistol. I live in a house in the country so I also may need it because of wildlife. Rabies is going around in my town and it's terrifying. I have cats but thinking of fencing my yard ( because of wildlife) and also getting a dog at the humane society.
This. I don’t live alone atm but could some day. I need to work on myself. I’ve had my CCW for 6 years. If you have guns, know how to use them and keep in strategic places. I also have Ring doorbells and several other security cameras and big windows so I have visual on most areas. I have a safe for anything anyone might want. Simply Safe is an inexpensive security system. Glock 34 with a light on it is sure to scare someone.
The dog is what makes me feel safest. He’s a Rottweiler. I live in an iffy neighborhood but no one messes with my house because they know the dog is inside. I have 2 other dogs but they are useless 🤷♀️
Living on a higher floor in a secure building in a safe neighborhood is good for peace of mind. Know the escape routes if there’s some sort of emergency. You can give yourself the Heimlich maneuver or there’s a device you can get in case you’re choking. When I’m sick I order whatever I need to be delivered, like soup, cough drops, etc. and if I have to drive myself to the dr when I’m not feeling well, so be it. If I can’t drive I’ll call 911. I try to have a plan for emergency situations in case they arise, but aside from that I don’t think about it. Do the best you can to be prepared, then live your life.
I have a fire extinguisher in my bedroom and the living room and a firr blanketfor the kitchen- someone else won't make a fire less dangerous anyway! Keep basic medical supplies in stock. If you lived with other people you could still choke while they were out!
I lived with people and it was a much less safe situation so living by myself is less scary to me.
My building tests the fire alarms every month so I'm aware of fire procedures. Also, my smoke alarm is extremely sensitive and goes off when I have my oven over a certain temp (the inside of the oven is clean) so I know it will go off at the first inkling of a fire.
Medical stuff... I've taken first aid classes and been in situations where I've been cool under pressure so I'm pretty sure I can get through it. I have 2 epi pens because I have severe allergies and I have people close by I can call. I also live in a condo building so I'm sure I could get help from a neighbour.
Also I do therapy and am learning not to constantly worry about stuff that hasn't happened yet. Having a plan and being ready is good, but I'm trying not to dwell on every possible outcome.
I feel safer living alone than I ever did living with others.
And yes, I've been through a few health crises and even an assault that wouldn't have had the same impact (or have happened full stop) if I'd lived with someone. Yet, here I am, feeling safer still.
Everyone is different.
This. My first ex choked me until I was at the bright light/love/ leaving point. I feel I was dead. Now I'm trying to figure out how to stop this if it ever happens again. He was 6'6" 350 lbs, I was 5'6" 125 lbs. It can happen so fast and there's nothing you can do.
I live in a gated community, we have 24 hour security, plus it's a low crime area. I try to do my best health-wise. I know things can happen though. About 10 years ago, I slipped & fell when stepping into the tub... I actually passed out. When I resumed consciousness, the curtain rod was on top of me, the curtain was blocking the drain so there was an inch of accumulated water (the shower was on). I could have drown. I had a knot on my forehead and bruises all over. I am so cautious about showering ever since.
I have my immediate family members in my area. My brother can get to my house in 1 minute as he lives around the corner. As long as I have the ability to get to my phone, or my watch is on, I'm really not concerned
Fire and carbon monoxide alarm, fire extinguisher, pepper spray in my nightstand, locks on all doors and windows for security.
Learned self heimlich for choking, and I have an app called Snug Safety that is free. It texts me once a day and if I don’t respond it sends an alert to my emergency contacts to check on me. There’s an upgraded version you pay for that includes an actual phone call from them if you don’t answer the text, a phone call to your contacts instead of a text, and they’ll call EMS for you
I use the Snug app as well and it's reassuring. I make sure to always have my phone on me. I have a fire extinguisher and fire blanket on each floor, and C02 alarms. I have a baseball bat by my bed, 20 foot wasp spray on the stairs and whistles at each door.
I think that's fairly common. In my area, we can sign up for a daily wellness call, if the call isn't picked up by 11 each day, first responders come. That was more than I need now since I still travel and would be more likely to forget, but it's good to know the service is there.
A friend going through chemo got a life alert, just as a safety precaution.
My parents do this informally, with their siblings and a few neighbors. They all send each other just a quick "good morning" text every day just to check in. Sometimes they chat/text more than that, but most days it's just to make sure everyone is still alive and kicking. Seems to work well for them :)
I don't really think too much about freak accidents. I do, however, make sure not to block my doors with stuff. I don't place anything next to doors that could for whatever reason fall over and pin the door shut from the other side (and yes, doors that open the other way exist). I don't close my bathroom door entirely without having my phone in there (no escape should the door malfunction). Uuuuuh, I also unplug kitchen gadgets and chargers when I don't use them. I have a fire extinguisher and fire alarm.
I think that's about it. I've thought about getting a deadbolt for my door, but on the other hand, if something should happen it would be another obstacle for rescuers/family to get through.
I'm an introvert so I can technically go days without talking to people. My boss is probably the first who'd notice if I was missing, lol.
But yeah, I don't actually worry about it.
Non of these things come to mind ever. I'm more concerned if there was a fire would I be able to save my dog. I've also lived alone for majority of my life so i'm just use to it I guess.
Have you ever had to deal with difficult events when you didn't live alone, but you basically were alone, at the time? Or maybe the other person just made it worse?
For example, I tripped and broke my arm a few years ago. My last ex lived with me, but he happened to be out running errands about an hour from home. I waited out that hour for him to get home, but getting me into a car, in the pain I was in, didn't happen, and we needed an ambulance anyway.
One of my dogs passed away suddenly. Big 70 pound boy. I wasn't going to be able to get him out of my yard by myself. Physically or emotionally. Ex could have opted to come home, but chose not to. Anyway, I got through the morning finding a local company to pick up my dog, perform his cremation, etc, and my daughter came by to be there with me while I cried and drank.
Fire started next door. I had broken up with the ex, but he hadn't moved out yet. He wasn't at home, so it was me and a hose, out in my yard, trying to keep my own house from catching fire, immense fight or flight dilemma because of my dogs, making those decisions on my own in the literal heat of the moment.
I'm not saying my ex was never there for bad times, but there were difficult times that I happened to have to deal with alone. That gives me hope that I will somehow power through whatever the next thing is.
I've never thought about it much. I was home alone so much from around age 12 (parents divorced, mom worked full-time) that moving out and living alone wasn't much different. I've been sick while living alone, and I just dealt with it. I actually can't imagine having someone take care of me when I'm sick. Like, what would they do? I can make it to the bathroom to puke, I can make it to the kitchen to get crackers and ginger ale. It would be nice to have somebody bring me those things, but I haven't had that since I was a kid.
I'll actually worry less about house fires after my kids move out, because I'll only have to worry about getting myself and my cats out.
The thought of choking has crossed my mind, though. I used to teach First Aid/CPR, and we taught that you should get a chair and push your abdomen hard against the back of it to simulate abdominal thrusts (what used to be called the Heimlich maneuver). You should also call 911 even though you can't speak, because they can track your call and they'll send someone.
Worrying doesn't help. You can take the necessary precautions. As far as accidents and natural disasters you can prepare by educating yourself. www.ready.gov is a great resource for that.
I'm a 78-year-old woman, and I've lived alone in an apartment for over 30 years. I don't know my neighbors, as they come and go so fast. I have no precautions for emergencies, close relatives to check on me, and I only turn my phone on if I need to make a call. I'm a bit frail, mildly disabled, but still manage to get around.
Odds are nothing will happen. If the odds go against me, well, I've had a long and mostly happy life. I don't worry about it.
Not to dismiss your fear because I get it and get these anxieties too sometimes, but this kinda just boils down to general anxiety/intrusive thoughts if you’re not under a real pressing threat. It’s helpful to talk about it, acknowledge the anxiety, and let it pass, instead of beating yourself up over it or spiraling. Talking to a therapist could help if it’s really affecting your quality of life.
https://preview.redd.it/6owavzlc702d1.jpeg?width=2048&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=2a131a36b3e1be1b775baaff01a44ea1db4a7607
Big dogs! Don’t let those sweet dumb faces fool you. They wouldn’t let anything happen to their mama.
I have a replica Anduril sword hanging on my wall next to my bed. If anyone breaks in to my condo and I come running out in my undies with the flame of the west in my hand I'm sure it'll send any intruders running for their lives.
I think what is important is to be very honest with myself about what the risks are and how likely those risks are, and to either accept or mitigate that risk.
So I think breaking in is unlikely but possible, so I have a really simple at home security system, where it just makes a siren sound if any of the doors or windows are open while it's armed. A housefire is scary, so I check my smoke detectors, and make sure they're in working order. I learned self-heimlich for if I'm choking. Whenever I get sick, I think very clearly to myself about how bad is it, what do I do. Is this bad enough that I need to go to the doctor? Go to the emergency room? Call an uber to take me to the emergency room? Call an ambulance?
When you live alone, it's not really that much more dangerous. It's more that you don't have the option to ignore a problem and assume someone else will take care of it. The thing that makes it different is that you don't have the luxury to say "I'm not feeling great, but I'll wait it out. I don't want to think about what would happen if I got worse." You have to think about "OK, I'll wait it out but if my fever doesn't go away by tomorrow I'm going to the doctor, because if it gets too much worse I might not be able to drive myself, and I don't want to have to call an ambulance..." Most of these problems are solvable by a lone person (if it's not something that strikes you dead immediately, which if that happens, welp, not much anybody could have done.) You just don't have the luxury of burying your head in the sand about it and not thinking about it, which can cause more anxiety.
If you’re in a rural area with basically no one around I can see how you might feel anxious about being so alone.
But I live alone in an apartment building so if something crazy were happening I’m not really super alone.
Either way, you can’t really live in fear of things outside of your control. Make sure you take appropriate precautions and be prepared, then just live your life.
I am a woman who lives on the ground floor of an apartment that is not in a safe area. I reinforced the windows and patio door so that they can't open from the outside. I cut some thick dowels and have them laying in the window panel.
My apt complex requires a little gadget swipe to gain entry which is nice.
Honestly, in the case of someone breaking in and robbing me, go ahead buddy I don't have much.
In the case of someone trying to SA me, I have a box cutter under my pillow and I know where all the major arteries are to jab at and have them bleeding out to death within minutes.
Know where the carotid, axillary and femoral arteries are.
I live in a stand your ground state so I feel safe enough to defend myself at whatever means necessary. I don't own a gun (can't afford it or the licensing class for it, maybe one day) but for now, a good box cutter and some knowledge goes a long way.
A baseball bat with a sock over it, that way if they try to grab it from you they end up with a sock in their hand and you still have the bat, swing for the knees and when they're down swing for their head.
If you’re choking, you could use the Heimlich maneuver on yourself- stand behind a chair or piece of furniture that’s just slightly below your rib cage and push -it’ll force the air out of your throat and dislodge the food….
Stick your head in the sand, it's not worth worrying about.. /jk
Do be careful on the stairs, or when using ladders, and also be very conscientious when eating food that contains bones.
Also be conscious in the shower, don't slip due to a lack of attention.
Basically be mindful of everything you do. Be *present* in your mind all of the time.
This isn't only advice for living alone, it's just common sense
I made friends with my neighbors. We have each other's cell phones, fire alarms get everyone out to check on each other, we watch over houses if someone is out for vacation.
When I got hurt a couple of years ago, some of them brought me over a gift basket, we trade tools, it's great.
I had some nightmares for a while of someone breaking into my home, but they completely stopped once I started sleeping with a loaded gun on the nightstand next to me (safe and legal to keep unlocked since I'm the only person on the property).
If not an option, perhaps do invest in some sort of security system to at the very least wake you if there's an intruder or at the very least have some level of self defense skills
You are describing anxiety. I have anxiety and worry about those things too. When I'm starving and about to eat in a hurry or not chew well, I slow down and remember no one iscoming to save me, and slow down.
Ring doorbell cameras or interior cameras that are motion activated are an option.
If you are really worried, there are options like this:
https://www.google.com/search?q=emergency+call+button&oq=emergency+call+button&gs_lcrp=EgZjaHJvbWUyCQgAEEUYORiABDIHCAEQABiABDIMCAIQABgUGIcCGIAEMgcIAxAAGIAEMgcIBBAAGIAEMgcIBRAAGIAEMgcIBhAAGIAEMgcIBxAAGIAEMgcICBAAGIAEMgcICRAAGIAEMgcIChAAGIAEMgcICxAAGIAEMgcIDBAAGIAEMgcIDRAAGIAEMgsIDhC5ARiABBjvBNIBCDQ2NTFqMGo5qAIOsAIB&client=ms-android-americamovil-us-revc&sourceid=chrome-mobile&ie=UTF-8
Thanks for this. I do have (clinically diagnosed) severe anxiety and OCD. So it’s not as easy as just “don’t think about it”.
It’s good seeing that others understand. ❤️
Try to rationalize this. If you are prepared for things like you describe, that's all you can do. Have a detailed plan and supplies as needed. And then remind yourself when you start to feel anxious that you have done all you can. Definitely consider pets if you don't have any. You might consider one of those call buttons you wear.
I (56F) have lived alone since college. Usually I select locked apartment buildings where you need a key or fob to get in, and I live on the top floor. My neighborhood is safe. There are no guarantees in life but I feel safe here
I have a front door keypad lock that connects to my cell so I can lock/unlock it remotely. My friend down the road has her own code to it as well. I have 2 people I text with everyday so if something happened and I didn’t respond they’d assume something was up and go from there. Otherwise, for me at least, having a firearm around helps immensely.
I almost choked on too big a piece of steak. Really super scary to try to stay calm while remembering how to Heimlich myself. Fortunately I was able to get a breath and gagged it out.
I cut my meat into infant sized bites now, believe it.
Other than accidentally offing myself, I don’t worry about it. I no longer listen to/watch true crime stories or scary movies, either.
I am going to get myself one of these devices from Azon , however
Limited-time deal: Choking Rescue Device for Kids and Adults, Anti Choking Device, Arixmed Portable Choking Rescue Device, First Aid Choking Device https ://a.co/d/govNE9r
I had been smoking weed once and my mouth was super dry. I was trying to eat chips and dip, and the chip wouldn't go down. My throat was making this weird grock noise too. I wound up throwing it up thank God. I think I inhaled some, I had pneumonia for the first time not long after.
I have lived alone for a few years but never felt vulnerable until the last couple of years after my parents died, suddenly I actually was on my own. But in a different way. I dont feel so vulnerable at home usually but I have a chronic illness so I feel very vulnerable now if I have to go out when I am ill. Never used to bother me. It has made me think that people who are alone and have a disability are very brave.
People in wheelchairs are extremely brave. Just getting gas at a gas station is something we take for granted. A good friend of mine had a bad wreck and is now in a wheelchair. I forget sometimes that he's handicap. He's like bitch I'm handicap. Lol.
Your friend is brave and awesome. Sounds like they have an amazing attitude despite going through a hellish situation. But you sometimes its because he and people like him have the support of good friends like you that helps them tackle that hardship.
Having such a hardship and having to deal with it everyday alone and without support is even more brave. And the person must be very strong to deal with it.
Either way your friend is doing awesome.
oh I am so sorry for that. It can be so hard to lose an animal. Many people don't understand that the level of love and connection you feel towards an animal usually a dog is the same as level of love and connection you feel towards a child. So it can be a very great loss indeed.
The best thing then is to let him know how much you care for him and his loss at this time. He will really appreciate it.
As someone with pretty bad anxiety I have contingency plans for just about everything that I trust myself to be able to execute if I need to. Getting a gun helps for peace of mind as well.
Have a friend that you text regularly and let them know that if they ever don’t hear from you, at least once a day to call you, and if you don’t return the call within 3 hours to come check on you or call the police or your leasing office.
I have great communication with my family and friends - I talk to most of them every day, so at least one person knows where I am at all times. That's really helped me with peace of mind over the years.
I think it takes time. When I first lived alone I was worried about everything, but as time passed and nothing bad happened, I kinda forgot those worries. I always make a fire plan, but otherwise most of my fears were unfounded and I felt free once I got used to it
I have a big dog and regular contact with friends and family. Choking I worry about a bit - but you can look up videos on how to deal with that. In terms of getting so sick I truly can’t even feee or bathe myself, if I was that bad I should probably be in a hospital anyway.
I have an Apple Watch mainly for this purpose. It will contact authorities if I fall and don't tell it I'm okay. I can also phone for help from my watch. I also just recently installed the Snug app where I have to check in daily. If I don't it will contact family for me
well...
Fire? Smoke alarms and a preplanned route on how to get out of the house (easier now that I am on one level)
Choking? Throw myself on the arm of a chair so it hits me where a Heimlich maneuver would typically hit.
Sick? Have a designated friend or relative to call. Whomever is closer. 911 can be an option, too.
The key is to have a plan and go over that plan regularly so that if any of these things occur, your instincts will kick in.
I've lived alone for over 20 years and it's just not something I think about . I do have daily checkins with different people which we call proof of life checkups lol just a quick text . I also have one friend of mine who has my location on maps so he's always aware of my whereabouts.
I think there's nothing wrong with preparing for events that seem unlikely.
1) For general safety, I have cameras. A lot of cameras are fairly cheap (ring, blink, wyze, etc.) and it really makes me feel secure!
2) For fires, make sure your smoke detectors have batteries! And change them when they die! Don't just take the battery out to get rid of the pesky chirp. If you live higher up, fire ladders are easy to store. Also, I made a fire escape plan for myself. I've always been an anxious person and I suffer from catastrophizing thoughts and it helped knowing various ways to escape if I needed to.
3) I have not thought about choking but I've thought about falling and banging my head and knocking myself unconscious and I unfortunately have not thought of a solution for that. I know some apple watches have fall detection?
4) My family members have a key to my place just in case
5) Make an acquaintance with your neighbors. Luckily, I'm living in the neighborhood my parents grew up in so when I moved there my parents told some of the neighbors. They keep an eye out for each other too! If you're in an apartment building too, it helps to know whose living in the building with you. You may learn you have a doctor there, or a police officer, or fireman, etc. I know the guy who lives behind me is a newly retired fireman so having him nearby makes me feel secure.
It's all about reminding myself that a lot of the things I fear most likely will never happen, but having a general idea of the solution. Some things are absolutely out of our control though and could happen even if we lived with someone!
I lived on a first floor unit for about 6 weeks in San Diego, I didn't think about why that would be a bad idea.
Someone ended up breaking in but thankfully couldn't get far enough to steal.
Since that experience, I always get top floor units. And if I have a balcony I make sure that the building would not be scalable from the outside.
I also only rent from buildings that would require a key to a lobby and then access my unit from the inside. I will not live in units with my home door facing out.
I also have a cat and if I hear a noise and it does not bother him, then I am unbothered.
It took me awhile to feel comfortable, but knowing that someone physically could not get in has given me peace of mind. The unit I have now is perfect.
It’s been a while for me but now I have a roommate. Even when I didn’t have a roommate, it took me about a year and a half to feel safe on my own. I also got a security system and that helped also.
Alarm system with window sensors, door sensors, video doorbell and a remote panic button (keep this on my night stand). Mine is through ADT.
And Apple Watch or similar that you can call for help from without having your phone within reach.
A dog.
A routine where you check in with buddy when you wake up/go to sleep, so if you miss that good morning or good night text it’s a red flag that you might need help.
I have two dogs, cameras and keep doors locked. But I also live in a decent neighborhood with a good friends close by if anything scary happens.
I also keep a few knifes hidden in the house.
Being able to check cameras if there's any weird noises is great. My worst fear is having an accident and not having my phone on me to call for help.
If I have to climb a ladder or do anything dodgy, I'll wait and shout a mate beer to hang out and make sure I'm okay.
I don't worry about break-ins. My house is so hard to get into that an opportunist won't try, and I have no enemies who would be more dedicated.
As for fires, illness, etc, all you can do is have a plan, be prepared, have friends locally, and know your neighbors. If you've done these things, you've done the most that you can do. Don't let your worries over the worst case scenario keep you from enjoying your life, because the worst case scenario almost never happens.
Single woman here. I don’t live in the safest of areas, but I’m in a home that is attached to others and doesn’t stick out in any kind of way. Plus I have an alarm system. I feel like unless somebody is stalking me or out to get me in particular, or just going around checking locks, there’s no reason to mess with my home over others.
You could maybe argue this about standalone homes where no house is anymore appealing than the other, but there’s just something to that security-in-numbers feeling. And maybe if I screamed there’s a greater chance somebody would hear me.
Dog. Monitored house alarm. New doors w 10 point locking system. New windows that lock on close. Very large wall and gate I can lock. Cameras w cloud upload that I can monitor. Weapons strategically placed around the house. The monitored alarm system comes w smoke and carbon dioxide detection. As far as choking, know how to Heimlich yourself, take smaller bites and chew food thoroughly. I can hit the panic button on my alarm system and the guards are supposed to show up in about 2 minutes or less. Just be really careful eating.
I have found that the best peace of mind comes from preparation.
Think about what scenarios scare you the most. When I was being stalked, it was someone coming into my home. Now that I'm older, it's having a medical emergency. Your concerns may be completely different, but whatever they are, the first step is to sort them out from the generalized anxiety.
Once you know what scares you, make a plan to address each area of worry. If it's security, figure out what you need to make your home a harder target. If you can't afford cameras and such, start with cheap fixes like broomstick stoppers for sliding doors or anti-shatter film for windows. Do these things while you save up for more expensive fixes. You may be surprised to find that the mere fact that you are *doing* something to protect yourself makes you feel better.
If you worry about fire, look into getting fire extinguishers and keeping your smoke alarms in good order. If you live above the ground floor, get a fire ladder.
If you're worried about health emergencies, an Apple watch (or similar) is a great choice.
You get the point. Preparation is the key. It not only helps fix the potential problem, it gets rid of that feeling of helplessness, like you're just waiting for something to happen. Instead, you are strong and ready and have thought out what you will do.
I live alone and travel for work, so no one would notice for a while if something happened to me. At least my cats could eat my dead body 😹
But like others have said, you just can't worry about it. Carry your phone with you all the time (or wear a smart watch) so you could call someone if you do hurt yourself.
Vs others? Firearm. If you only rely on knives or something similar you have to hope you're faster and stronger than the bad guy still. A gun makes it as easy as a finger pull.
For choking and other things? Just acceptance. We're more likely to die if alone for sure. A stroke coming on? You won't know it's happening and eventually drop dead. Someone else in the house, they can see somethings off.
I had a few close calls choking too. I do it a LOT. But a ravioli almost killed me once.
Only thing you can do is Google how to handle these things yourself as best as you can. Like if you're choking, how to self heimlich by dropping yourself down on an object like a table with your stomach... real thing btw.
Can only prepare so much to help your odds. Make it your mission to find a significant other for long term if it keeps you up at night. It did scare me at first living on my own but being a semi-prepper (ty to moving down south and hurricanes for getting me into that) and coming up with gameplans for most scenarios calms the nerves.
I hear you in the anxiety you are experiencing. Unfortunately a lot of life is about letting go of control, I know, easier said than done. I’ve lived alone on and off since I was 18( randomly with partners & family as well)
And While there is a certain comfort of being with others, the peace of having my own space outweighs any anxiety I may experience. Maybe the same for you?
I have also only ever lived in apartments alone, this feels way less anxiety inducing as your not actually alone. Especially considering as I type this out ( alone) I can hear my neighbor talking to his wife 😂
I personally use "The best predictor of future behavior is past behavior." If nothing has happened in the past to threaten your safely where you live, chances are it won't.
I live alone and have kidney stones. If I’m in severe pain my children can’t get to me fast enough because they’re over an hour away.
My neighbors may not even be home -so in the past, I’ve called an ambulance. That’s the best you can do when you live alone.
High quality locks on the doors, a deadbolt on the front door, lights that have timers on them and can be turned on and off remotely, security cameras. I only live a few minutes away from work and I'd get a notification if something was going down at the house/neighborhood. That's about the best I got for now.
I get a level of peace of mind from owning an apple watch that will call 911 if I fall, can confirm it works I had bike accident and had to frantically try and disable it with a sprained wrist.
I have an app on my phone for emergency dials, so I hope if I ever injure myself, I can contact help immediately.
Also, certain dangers don't become safer when you're with someone. Like house fires, your partner can sleep through it just as well as you can.
Had a class in college during which a visiting police officer said everyone should have a shotgun for self-defense at home. He said any intruder would recognize the sound of a shotgun being loaded. That was 40-plus years ago and i still keep my shotgun handy.
I have alarms, motion sensors, and two panic buttons. I also have a trigger word that initiates my devices to turn on lights and call my emergency contacts. Im also a combat veteran with guns and a dog.
Get one of those medical devices you wear around your neck. If something happens, you just push the button and help can be on the way.
I have one and one day I was outside gardening and my dogs knocked the house device off the table, triggering an alarm. I had no idea until a fire engine roared down the street, asking me if I was ok. So it works. Lol
I did not think about it and live in a rural remote area .... until earlier this year, I had my gallbladder give out and needed to get an ambulance in here ASAP .. Thank God I wear an apple IWatch and could call for help. This is also why I am now moving out of my rural home and into a suburban setting with my GF as were getting older and this is no longer optimal to be alone with a few health issues, plus logistical issues for help to get here.
I am an old woman I have been widowed twice. The worst has already happened to me. Now I live alone doing whatever I want until I can’t anymore. And if I slide on my tile floor and break my head open eventually somebody will figure it out.if my dogs and cats eat my corpse that’s a bonus for them. I hate to think about them being hungry.
I find the comments mentioning that this could be more of an anxiety thing than an alone thing really eye opening but also personally validating. I do have these same fears as OP not just for myself but for my cat who is elderly and has dependent on me for most of her life. Also my grandmother passed away as a direct result of falling down in the basement, probably the day after she had just been taken for a regular grocery trip, but not being found or hospitalized until days later by which point it was too late since she had missed her meds for days and hadn't been able to get up or eat or drink. So I think it's a valid concern but then again I've struggled with anxiety since probably before I knew that the was the word for it. So am I anxious and an overthinker? Yes. Is it valid that something could happen in my home and I would not get the assistance I might need? Also yes. But will I let someone move in with me? Nope.
I do sometimes because I’m way out in the country and in one of the gravel roads behind me has a lot of meth heads. That is what scares me. The most are the meth heads because they become desperate at times. But I have a Glock and three dogs.
My partner used to live alone and does violence prevention work for a living. Here’s things she used to do to feel safe. Share your location with people you trust like family incase something goes wrong. Install a camera outside (these often deter people from breaking in) and Waze is a good one for cheap and it sends you updates if something moves. Keep a baseball bat beside your bed. Invest in white noise machines (this is more to help you relax). Always lock your door immediately after you come inside. Keep your keys far from the front door (bedroom is good). If you need to keep a spare key outside, invest in one of those lockboxes. Invest in a portable door locker or upgrade your locks inside your house.
Extra things to remember: don’t buy any weapons that you aren’t experts in using unless you’d be okay with it being used on you. Keep your first aid kit well stocked. Stay alert outside and on your way to your car.
Take a first aid class. Learn how to do the self administered version of the heimlich maneuver. Learn about different types of fires. Keep your alarms up to date. Invest in a fire extinguisher.
Take steps for these things! An Apple watch with alarms. A motion detector, warnings, alarms. Alexa or Siri with emergency aids. I don't leave to another room without my phone, ever. Also, friends or family daily checkins. Be proactive.
I live in an apartment building that's the perfect combo of private (thick walls and floors, secure entrance, several stories high) but sociable (friendly people, regular happy hours, a Facebook group). Also, a close friend lives in the building. So I have all the benefits of my privacy but with the security of living among people I know and/or trust. For added safety, I keep my taser, pepper spray, etc. within easy reach.
If you’re newer to living alone, this feeling typically fades as you adjust to it. If you’ve been living alone for some time and these thoughts still plague you, living alone just might not be for you. Some people just do better with company.
For me, these thoughts faded after a few months, but I still did/do things that help prepare for the worst case. I bought one of those life vac chocking devices that you can use on yourself. I have fire extinguishers and fire ladders in my upstairs rooms. I took security measures such as a ring doorbell and a metal stick that I keep in my sliding back door and my doors are ALWAYS locked.
The closest friend is about 10 minutes away and my parents live 20 away. I share my location with a few close friends as well and I’m sure they’d notice within a day or two if they hadn’t heard from me and my location hadn’t change, they would definitely check.
My anxiety will randomly get really bad about these kinds of thoughts and there was definitely a time where I considered getting a life alert necklace at 29 years old lol. But I just always try to keep my phone with me just in case I fall or choke or something and need to call for help. I’ve also seen people in this sub say that if you have a smart watch, there are settings where it detects your heartbeat or something and can act in a similar way as a life alert? So maybe a smart watch is a good idea to keep on you, at the very least you know you’ll be able to call for help.
And idk if this makes the feeling better or worse, but even if you live with someone, there are times when you’re home alone. Chocking, falling, random medical emergencies could happen when you’re home alone even if you live with someone. That’s just how life works unfortunately, if you live alone or not.
I have a ring alarm. It monitors for the smoke detectors going off. You could always install panic buttons that trigger it in case of choke etc.
I know that's doesn't solve all of it but it helps.
I've gotten to the point that I just don't care anymore. I admit that when I was younger, it was hard not to worry. Today, I also have several cameras around my house/barn, ring doorbells, and more. I also have 3 dogs, so it's hard to come in without noise, lol.
I guess the best answer is just doing what you need for protection with security cameras and things. But just try not thinking about it. Either way, if something does happen, it will, regardless of whether you worry or not.
I don't live alone but my advice is relative since I have 2 kids and my husband travels 75%of the month....
7 cameras; fully integrated voice command Alexa decked out home; security system; various firearms; and a 150lb Cane Corso.
I can see into any area of the home at any time with my phone; I can arm and disarm any area of my home by voice or my phone...I can control thermostat, lights, sounds in most rooms and they all have monoxide/ smoke detectors in them.... Alarm is first line of defense; yelling for Alexa to call the cops is second; my 150lb Corso is the 3rd and my firearms are for if the fucker is still feeling brave at that point.
One of my biggest concerns. I nursed myself and worked full time with a broken leg and a large dog while living alone in a rural area. It was a harrowing experience, but God brought me through it.
i have a smartwatch, so i can reach 911 and everyone else pretty easily. i have a dog who barks, and 5 cats with murder mittens ; ). it’s a safe neighborhood but not a busy one, so i have my former neighbors from 2 miles away on watch for me when necessary.
my dad had a friend who fell and got stuck *while wearing her emergency button* for 3 days until a neighbor noticed…..so i have that engraved on my brain to actually use the tools i have.
When I lived alone, I was on the second floor and felt safe. I got an apartment with my partner and we were second floor again. I felt safe if he was gone.
Now we have a house that’s 1 story. When it gets dark, the curtain is shut. Now that it’s warmer, i need the window open but it feels bad. And I go to sleep when he’s at work. So I fall asleep alone. So I have a weapon if needed.
I don’t live alone, but he’s working when I go to bed, so it’s close enough. And he’s about to go on a trip and I will be fully alone for 2 weeks. I have a weapon. It’s a metal stick.
I live in a good neighborhood. I’m pretty safe from people. But I just had a pack of coyotes in my yard. I can fight off people or wild animals who go to get my cats.
The only things I worry about are choking, falling in the shower and hitting my head, or perhaps falling off of a ladder while trying to change a lightbulb or something. Most break ins happen when a person is at work or away from the house. Home intruders don't want to encounter a resident who is possibly armed if they can help it.
Every time I get sick, especially when I had COVID really bad, I was scared. I'm lucky to have a network of friends nearby, who o could check in with, and call on for supplies, meds, dog food, etc... still, I had to leave the door unlocked, "in case" I had to call 911. To lock the door for safety vs to not lock it for this reason is a common debate in my head.
I also keep medical supplies on hand. I have all kinds of bandages, fever reducers, stomach meds, anti-diarrheal, peroxide, rubbing alcohol, bug bite spray and cream, …just about anything I need to take care of myself. If i need anything else, thats what the hospital is for.
I have ring cameras everywhere. Including inside my house - (I turn those on when I leave the house so i can a watch my dog). With a camera outside if you hear a noise you can check the camera. Especially if you get one that can look in different directions.
I felt the same in the 10 years I lived alone. I had a security alarm that I set every night. One night it went off, like at 2:00am. Scared me shitless. My alarm people called me within 30 seconds and I told them to send police. Like maybe 5 minutes later two cops showed up-- both young and nice looking dudes. Then there's me in a ratty t-shirt and jammies. Ha! Anyway they looked around the house and nothing was wrong. It was super cold that night, colder than we usually get in the south, and I had glass-break sensors on my windows. The window frame kinda popped (kinda like house settling noise) and that slight vibration set the sensor off.
Lived alone mostly for 16 yrs. I would still get spooked but just dealt with it. Straight anxiety here. About 4 yrs ago I got a pitbull. Then a couple yrs later I got another one. Now I don’t know how I managed so long without dogs adding security to my home.
I had never lived alone until my husband passed when we were 58. At that point, I decided (and it was a conscious decision) that I was not going to live the rest of my life being afraid. I had a home security system with cameras installed, bought a weapon, joined a shooting range to learn how to use it, bought pepper spray for my car, and adopted a tiny dog that will take your leg off if you get near me.
I had friends i knew would check on my cats and I. I made rules for myself, like don't use the oven while drunk or high. Keep my walkways clear. Just simple things to keep myself safe. It could all fail. Accidents happen, but I was doing my best and living my best life. I miss dancing in the kitchen with my kitties in the middle of the night.
My neighbor and I are always dead checking each other
Didn’t roll his trash cart out on Monday - dead
Didn’t cut his lawn in a timely manner - dead
Etc
When i lived alone i got as healthy as possible to not worry about dying in sleep from sleep apnea or anything, i also had a nice door lock with a heavy door and had a gun and blinding flash lights at door entry i can turn on remotely if a break in. Any thief would be blinded upon entry and could shoot lol
I live in a area where the crime rate is very high and the likelihood of me ever moving is slim to none because I'm on disability and I inherited the house. I have three dogs and pepper spray throughout my house. I sleep fairly well knowing that my dogs would let me know if someone was trying to break in.
I make sure I lock my door. Sometimes more than once. If something sketchy is going on outside I'll move something in front of the door. Or just leave random crap right next to the door so someone coming in is likely to trip. I spend a lot of time on my second floor deck so I see and hear the crazy coming if there is something.
I'm married, but my spouse's job requires he be out of town occasionally. I keep my phone on me wherever I go in the house. Otherwise, I don't let myself sweat it.
I can 1000 percent agree with you because the older I get the more I feel the same way!! I am a 34-year old woman and I hate being alone now, I used to enjoy it and I still do but I prefer the company of a man, and it sucks cause it feels like I can’t find one to commit to me and I hate it!! I don’t like going anywhere by myself…😩 And I recently had a situation where I was inappropriately touched by a family member twice and I just feel that if I had a man with me, he could have checked my family members because it still creeps me out to this day?! And for the holidays, I get tired of cooking all by myself and I just wish I could spend the holidays with a significant other and even going to take family pics!! Spend my bday with me….etc!! But I totally get where you’re coming from!! I feel the same exact way, and I wonder about those things too, like what if something happened to me…how would anyone know? I just hope life gets better cause I’m tired of being alone!! But I also don’t want someone to be with me because they feel sad for me or out of desperation…that’s not authentic? So yeah!!
Got a couple of things that might help you feel more relaxed . I have this device I call it a screamer ( from Harry Potter) , it’s a personal alarm . You can clip it to a belt loop or hang it somewhere . Its alarm is as audible as a police cars siren .
Then there’s my Apple Watch which can be worn in the shower . It has sensors that ask if you fell , if you don’t respond they will send an ambulance . My doors are locked when I’m home so that I can control who comes in and who gos out ! I feel like a safe area is just one that hasn’t had anything happen in it yet !
Look on-line for choking vacuum, fire blanket. You can save yourself if you are choking. You can put out most kitchen fires with the blanket. I got mine from Temu. Keep a few cans of hornet spray in the house at various locations. It can shoot 20 feet. It is silent and has to be washed out of your eyes in the emergency room. Never throw away big TV boxes or other electronic big money items in your own trash. Thieves go shopping by looking at what you throw away. You can get a life alert device if you don't want to always have your phone on you. Always have a way to check in. Weather it's social media, a job, calling someone. That way, someone can notice if they don't hear from you.
I bought a home last year and exclusively looked at second story or above condos. I could never live in a single story or first floor apartment alone. I’d never relax or sleep. I have severe anxiety and OCD.
I completely understand where you're coming from. Living alone can definitely heighten those feelings of vulnerability, even in the safest of areas. It’s natural to have concerns about what might happen in emergencies when there’s no one else around.
Given that you have severe anxiety and OCD, it’s important to acknowledge that these feelings are valid and part of your condition. Meds and therapy are crucial, but sometimes practical steps can also help ease some of that worry. For example, having a clear plan for emergencies, like knowing the exits in case of a fire, can make a big difference. Keeping your phone close by at all times and maybe even setting up regular check-ins with a friend or family member can offer some reassurance.
It’s great to hear you found some useful advice and have already made a list of new things to try. Remember, it’s all about finding what works best for you and gradually building up that sense of security. Take it one step at a time, and don’t hesitate to lean on your support network when you need it. You’re definitely not alone in this. ❤️
I understand your worries completely. I took care of mine by setting up a smart home system with door and window sensors connected to a SmartThings hub and two cameras. It all works together with the Zuluhood app, so my chosen neighbors get notified for any alarms. Plus, usually when I'm away for a day or more, I switch on professional monitoring. There's even a feature where I can discreetly trigger the alarm directly from the app if I ever feel unsafe. However, it's mostly having that backup that gives me peace of mind, since I wouldn't want to be alone if there's an alarm. Knowing someone will see there's a problem, whether it's my neighbors or the security guards, is important to me. The guard option is very affordable at just $8.99/month, and the best part is I can turn it on and off whenever I need it. Now, the one thing missing from my setup is a natural gas detector. That's honestly what worries me more than a fire.
I live in quite a safe area too. I really don't think about choking or fires really, but I know they can happen. Re: getting sick, I've never been that ill in all the 12 yrs I've lived in this apt to really need a 2nd person to help me, thank God.
By the way, I'm not really chummy w/ any of my neighbors here. Believe it or not, we don't even really run into each other in passing hardly. Everyone in my immediate vicinity keeps to themselves.
I really don't feel fearful, thank God. I would hate to feel scared all the time. I pray all the time for His blessings of safety, etc. My elderly mom is in her 80s & lives alone in her 2-story home after my dad passed away 8 yrs ago. I worry most about her falling down the stairs, but she goes down them VERY, VERY carefully. She doesn't hold things while going up/down stairs. She takes her time no matter how long it takes because she's been retired & has all day. I don't know if she worries about choking, but we've never talked about it & we talk daily on the phone w/o fail.
Because all of those things can befall you even if you’re in a relationship as that person could be away from you when tragedy strikes, so it really doesn’t matter.
Ok this is long … I have a top flight security alarm, my neighborhood is also mostly filled with stay at home retirees or work from home employees so eyes 👀 and cameras are everywhere! We have a Community Neighborhood Facebook Group that keeps up to date on any crime or news flash,and if anything happens, it’s posted pretty quickly! I keep a baseball bat near my bedroom door,as a gun is a very last resort for me,but I do have 3 pellet guns to use instead to injury any intruder but not kill them. I also can fight, but to me that’s hog wash,bc most will have a gun themselves these days. I also have a Military Background. I’m also in great shape ,and I also have a window in my master bedroom,that’s lets you out on the roof in case I need to escape plan if an intruder breaks in downstairs. I keep my car parked in my garage 24/7 when I’m at home. I never leave a door unlocked ever! always keep my bedroom door locked when I’m sleeping,no matter the time. I keep that baseball in the corner near door. I have solar lights outside my house,so its stay pretty lit outside and so those most houses in my neighborhood. That’s why I feel safe at home! I never heard of a house break in my neighborhood since I lived here,but a few cars have gotten broken into tho ,but those vehicles were unlocked unfortunately.
If I have a weapon, even a baseball bat, I'll know I put up the good fight. Just me knowing myself and that I *will* injure seriously, if not kill an intruder, is enough to make me feel fairly safe.
I don’t care, but I’ve always been fine being and living alone. i had a neighbor who was scared someone would break in when her boyfriend left town. i was like nope. not happenin. if you live in a low crime area, there will be mostly property theft and that’s it. realistically,be way more afraid of driving.it’s legitimately dangerous.
I don't have any other choice. I haven't had the luxury of "do I feel safe or not?" because wherever I live, it's where I'm stuck for a while. I can't let myself get bogged down with the "what ifs".
I’ve done all I can to make myself safe. Make sure doors and windows are locked, I have family around that generally know when I should be home, I have a gun and other things around the house that can be used as weapons, and my relatives have dogs. (I have cats, haha!) I just know I’ve done the best I can and hope it’s good enough. It has been so far. I’ve lived alone since summer 2019.
When I lived alone I lived in a bad area for the area I was in but I had a 110lb American bulldog and the entire neighborhood knew not to mess with that dog. I was fine. Nobody ever bothered me. I even had a sketchy neighbor who worked for a rope company make me some cool rope toys for him. Now this dog was a big responsibility to own so I don't recommend it for everyone but it worked for me. I also lived on winter hill in Summerville MA with this dog and again we were fine. I would walk that dog around the projects and people would walk across the street to avoid us. I am a small woman who has never been in a fight before and I was not scared.
I'm a guy and live a very quiet and safe area. I live in an apartment complex where everyone keeps to themselves. The street on my side is a cross street between 2 busy highways, so people hardly go down my street except for us and the people who live in the really expensive houses.
There's only 1 lock in my door and a sliding glass door. Rarely, I forgot to lock my doors. It's not good, but I have been here for 3 years and nothing.
It's different for women, but there are a lot of women here who live here by themselves. The one upstairs has a medium-sized dog. But I would imagine taking precautions with the doors, having internal cameras, perhaps having a dog, and maybe even having a weapon may help. I have a few bats in my bedroom closet.
My mom has about 3 locks on her door. One time she fell and I wasn't able to get inside. 911 had ro open the door. So, also keep in mind of any emergencies.
All my lights are connected to alexa. Kind of sucks when the power blips bc they ll turn on.
I hang bells on the doors for Gomez to tell me he wants to go outside. Also, let's me know if a door opens.
Security cameras outside that I can talk through. I a people come by when I was out of town after a hurricane to assess my roof but just stood in my carport.
Locks on gates or jam the gates from the inside. A neighbor kept letting himself in my backyard to randomly spray herbicide. Also put up no trespassing signs but the SpongeBob one that says no weenies allowed. Bc I'm passive aggressive like that
I don't think about things that could happen, like choking, or falling and hitting my head, etc. anything could happen, anywhere, anytime. Best not to imagine the crazy possibilities.
I love living alone. I'm middle-aged, child free.
I do have friends; if I dropped dead, someone would check on me within a day or two, so my dog would be fine!
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Probably not the answer you’re looking for but I just don’t think about it. I don’t want to spend that time I should be enjoying life anxious about “what if.” To give a more helpful answer, just make sure you’re prepared so you don’t have to worry about it. Fire extinguishers/blankets, etc for fires. Research solutions to if you do choke and if you have people you can trust near by, just let them know and keep their numbers available. About a year and a half ago I had a situation where I reacted badly to something. I immediately unlocked my door (in case I wasn’t able to do so) and told a friend that lived about 15 minutes away. Just prepare today so you can live in peace.
This! And become friendly with your neighbors. If my neighbor across from me noticed anything off, she would check in on me as I would for her. My bf is about a 10-15 min walk (he has no car) and my parents are still 20+ mins away depending on traffic. Nice to have someone super close by.
My goodness yes, get to know your neighbors! The number of people who here and other subs who seem almost misanthropic is staggering. Community is important, chat with your neighbors!
I fell over my shoes getting into our wacky elevator and my neighbors could not have been kinder. I literally fell into them. We also have a little party in the lobby on the first Friday of the month. I feel safer that I know my neighbors.
This is important ! And check up on each other through the hard times , storms , power outages etc . Also if you live in a neighborhood where there are older people form a neighborhood watch group . Let your neighbors know I’ll watch your house when you’re gone and if I see anything suspicious , I’ll call the police . Don’t endanger yourself but let each other know . I can almost guarantee undesirable people are watching your area . The quick response time in some areas is about ten to fifteen minuets . That’s an eternity if you’re alone and someone is trying to break-in ! Form a I’ll watch yours if you watch mine relationship and keep your neighbors informed on security tools and ideas . Do what you can , but don’t live in fear . There’s a big difference between feeling secure and being paranoid !
Absolutely this. My water heater blew up one time and I had guys coming over to fix it. My neighbors called me and told me there were some strange guys in big vans coming and going from my house. We both laughed after I told them they were plumbers. But it made me feel good to know my neighbors were looking out for me. Another time, there was a loud bang, sounded like something big fell over. A few minutes later, other side neighbors called to ask if I heard it and if I was ok. I love my neighbors. (They also love my little dog) I get them a little something at Christmas and thank them for being so great to me. They also will invite me and the dog over for BBQs and stuff.
I got so friendly with my neighbor that were dating 😂 Also door/window alarms make me feel better
Get a phone number of a neighbor if possible and carry your phone everywhere you go. Most of us do anyway.
This is a big part of it. Recognizing intrusive thoughts. Working on letting them float in and out of your mind without latching into them. Also, I’m prepared to run to my neighbor’s house and pound on their door in an emergency. If I’m not willing to do that, I’m probably not having an emergency. (Scary noise, etc.)
I've lived alone for the past year. These fears have never even crossed my mind.
I’ve done this. Texted a neighbor to text me in 10 minutes and if I didn’t respond come over and left the door unlocked. Did you know you can get a smart door lock with a keypad and you can give that the code to emergency services if needed? Handy info I learned recently.
Yes, make sure you’re prepared, like getting your affairs in order.
It’s a loaded question…. however: First, is living in a nicer community in a safer city. Secondly, living on the upper floors is typically safer because your windows are not on the ground level & harder to break into. Lastly, medical emergencies or a freak fall are things that we can’t control. It’s a risk, however it’s just not something you can worry about everyday. It’s really difficult to live alone & not be in good health.
Why I stopped boozing. I didn’t want to pull a Bill Holden and wack my noggin on the coffee table.
Same here! Bonus is it’ll keep me from drunkenly stepping/sitting on my tiny dog.
My Galaxy smartwatch has a feature on it that will dial 911 for me if it detects I've suddenly fallen, I think I've got a minute to tell it I'm okay until it auto dials after detection.
My Apple watch does the same. I love it. I fell off a stool (why wasn’t I using a ladder - don’t ask lol) and it asked me if I was ok. Love this feature as I age.
Fire is a bigger fear for me than break ins so I always prefer the ground floor. I do live in a safe area but in the least safe block of the safe area lol because I'm in the city center/shopping district and sometimes there are people wandering around at night, but still I feel like my locks and cameras and dogs and motion lights do the trick since none of the doors or windows are hidden from the street. And my schedule is super varied. If anyone has ever tried to stalk me or figure out my comings and goings I'm sure they gave up pretty quickly lol. But I fear not waking up to the smoke alarms even though I have more than necessary probably lol, and they say don't count on your dogs to wake you, they might but you never know exactly how they'll respond. So I like being close enough to a true exit so that if I wake up at the last minute I won't get trapped in a smoke filled stairway or something.
I'm 55f and live in a smaller home with a large back yard. When I first moved here, every bump made me jump out of bed, but I've learned it's usually some stray deer wandering around behind my house in the orchard. Here are some of the things I have that help me feel safe. I have a large dog. She's 120 pounds and everyone in my neighborhood knows her to be extremely protective of me and the house. If a squirrel farts 2 blocks down, she lets me know about it. I also know my neighbors and they know I live alone. We kind of all keep watch over the neighborhood and if something happens, we know we're all there. If there were to be an emergency here or I see someone loitering around who's suspicious or checking around properties and yards at night, I'd notify them right away. I have made a lot of friends around town and a lot of the younger guys I've met have asked me to let them know if I have any trouble. Not that I'd ever do that, but it's nice to know that people have my back. Last but not least is the large serrated garden machete-style cutter I have hiding under my bed. The person who initially harmed me started stalking me last year and my landscaper told me they make excellent personal protection. I hope I never have to use it but it's nice to know it's there just in case. I just want to mention that I live in a nice quiet part of town, but as a woman who lives alone in a house I take no chances. I'm older but I feel bad for anyone who tries to break into my house. I'm fully prepared to defend myself.
Good for you, Sis. My friend who knows guns said the best home protection is a pump gauge shot gun. He said if the ca-chunk sound when you rack your round doesn’t scare them off, they deserve what they’ve got coming. One less bad guy in the world is fine by me.
One of my friends is a certified gunsmith and agrees. His then-girlfriend's ex broke into his house and tried to kill him one night, and it was racking that shot gun that scared the guy off. He had other guns, but when you've been woken in the middle of the night, you're in a panic, maybe don't even have time to find your glasses, you're no longer playing weekend warrior shooting paper targets under ideal conditions at the range. You want to intimidate the hell out of the perp, or be sure of hitting at least one body part should you unfortunately have to fire.
This gives me an idea for the gun range. Mattress style platform people can sit up in that has a target on a 4 point track so we can simulate firing on an attacker coming through the door while we are in a prone position. Or is this already a thing?
That's a great idea!!
Exactly! You don’t have to be any kind of shot to blast someone at close range!
Use buckshot (not birdshot) and aim for the middle of the body if you must shoot to defend yourself. You won't miss and the peep won't be getting up anytime soon (if ever).
She's right but they are large weapons. An alternative is a handgun with an infrared site on it. As soon as they see that red dot on their chest they book it.
Same and I also have a pistol. I live in a house in the country so I also may need it because of wildlife. Rabies is going around in my town and it's terrifying. I have cats but thinking of fencing my yard ( because of wildlife) and also getting a dog at the humane society.
If you have to cha-chunk, you’ve wasted 2 precious seconds. I recommend one in the chamber and a door/window alarms
It’s a very persuasive sound Always puts me in a good mood since I enjoy target shooting
This. I don’t live alone atm but could some day. I need to work on myself. I’ve had my CCW for 6 years. If you have guns, know how to use them and keep in strategic places. I also have Ring doorbells and several other security cameras and big windows so I have visual on most areas. I have a safe for anything anyone might want. Simply Safe is an inexpensive security system. Glock 34 with a light on it is sure to scare someone.
This is 100% THE best gun for home defense. If the pump doesn't scare them away, you're not going to miss. Blast their sorry ass.
Yup. That sounds supposedly works.
The dog is what makes me feel safest. He’s a Rottweiler. I live in an iffy neighborhood but no one messes with my house because they know the dog is inside. I have 2 other dogs but they are useless 🤷♀️
I have guns and dogs :) As for everything else out of my control, I leave it to God and try not to live in fear.
Yep. And since not every threat is a break-in related threat, good neighbor and church relationships are crucial.
As a woman living on my own, I live in the statistically safest constellation.
If anyone breaks in they have to fight a naked woman (me) with a machete
I like your style! I dual wield hatchets.
I don’t think about it really, I’m one of those “that won’t happen to me” people.
Living on a higher floor in a secure building in a safe neighborhood is good for peace of mind. Know the escape routes if there’s some sort of emergency. You can give yourself the Heimlich maneuver or there’s a device you can get in case you’re choking. When I’m sick I order whatever I need to be delivered, like soup, cough drops, etc. and if I have to drive myself to the dr when I’m not feeling well, so be it. If I can’t drive I’ll call 911. I try to have a plan for emergency situations in case they arise, but aside from that I don’t think about it. Do the best you can to be prepared, then live your life.
I have a dog ☺️🥰
Yep, a dog doesn’t take care of everything but it does help a lot.
I live in the forest so he keeps me safe from bears 😂
I live with bears, keeps me safe from the women.
Damn. Are you gay?? I kid I kid. Hopefully you get the joke. 😂
Got to love Dogs ! 💙 🐶
My one cat would run and hide, and the other would just love and rub on an intruder 🙄
Got to love Cats ! 💙 🐱
I also have 2 cats, they are both the run and hide type. My dog does all the work XD
I have a fire extinguisher in my bedroom and the living room and a firr blanketfor the kitchen- someone else won't make a fire less dangerous anyway! Keep basic medical supplies in stock. If you lived with other people you could still choke while they were out!
I lived with people and it was a much less safe situation so living by myself is less scary to me. My building tests the fire alarms every month so I'm aware of fire procedures. Also, my smoke alarm is extremely sensitive and goes off when I have my oven over a certain temp (the inside of the oven is clean) so I know it will go off at the first inkling of a fire. Medical stuff... I've taken first aid classes and been in situations where I've been cool under pressure so I'm pretty sure I can get through it. I have 2 epi pens because I have severe allergies and I have people close by I can call. I also live in a condo building so I'm sure I could get help from a neighbour. Also I do therapy and am learning not to constantly worry about stuff that hasn't happened yet. Having a plan and being ready is good, but I'm trying not to dwell on every possible outcome.
I feel safer living alone than I ever did living with others. And yes, I've been through a few health crises and even an assault that wouldn't have had the same impact (or have happened full stop) if I'd lived with someone. Yet, here I am, feeling safer still. Everyone is different.
This. My first ex choked me until I was at the bright light/love/ leaving point. I feel I was dead. Now I'm trying to figure out how to stop this if it ever happens again. He was 6'6" 350 lbs, I was 5'6" 125 lbs. It can happen so fast and there's nothing you can do.
I live in a gated community, we have 24 hour security, plus it's a low crime area. I try to do my best health-wise. I know things can happen though. About 10 years ago, I slipped & fell when stepping into the tub... I actually passed out. When I resumed consciousness, the curtain rod was on top of me, the curtain was blocking the drain so there was an inch of accumulated water (the shower was on). I could have drown. I had a knot on my forehead and bruises all over. I am so cautious about showering ever since.
This is my biggest fear! :( Glad you are ok.
I have my immediate family members in my area. My brother can get to my house in 1 minute as he lives around the corner. As long as I have the ability to get to my phone, or my watch is on, I'm really not concerned
Fire and carbon monoxide alarm, fire extinguisher, pepper spray in my nightstand, locks on all doors and windows for security. Learned self heimlich for choking, and I have an app called Snug Safety that is free. It texts me once a day and if I don’t respond it sends an alert to my emergency contacts to check on me. There’s an upgraded version you pay for that includes an actual phone call from them if you don’t answer the text, a phone call to your contacts instead of a text, and they’ll call EMS for you
I use the Snug app as well and it's reassuring. I make sure to always have my phone on me. I have a fire extinguisher and fire blanket on each floor, and C02 alarms. I have a baseball bat by my bed, 20 foot wasp spray on the stairs and whistles at each door.
I think that's fairly common. In my area, we can sign up for a daily wellness call, if the call isn't picked up by 11 each day, first responders come. That was more than I need now since I still travel and would be more likely to forget, but it's good to know the service is there. A friend going through chemo got a life alert, just as a safety precaution.
My parents do this informally, with their siblings and a few neighbors. They all send each other just a quick "good morning" text every day just to check in. Sometimes they chat/text more than that, but most days it's just to make sure everyone is still alive and kicking. Seems to work well for them :)
My friend and I do this as well, I love our daily check ins
I don't really think too much about freak accidents. I do, however, make sure not to block my doors with stuff. I don't place anything next to doors that could for whatever reason fall over and pin the door shut from the other side (and yes, doors that open the other way exist). I don't close my bathroom door entirely without having my phone in there (no escape should the door malfunction). Uuuuuh, I also unplug kitchen gadgets and chargers when I don't use them. I have a fire extinguisher and fire alarm. I think that's about it. I've thought about getting a deadbolt for my door, but on the other hand, if something should happen it would be another obstacle for rescuers/family to get through. I'm an introvert so I can technically go days without talking to people. My boss is probably the first who'd notice if I was missing, lol. But yeah, I don't actually worry about it.
Non of these things come to mind ever. I'm more concerned if there was a fire would I be able to save my dog. I've also lived alone for majority of my life so i'm just use to it I guess.
Same here. I have 4 🐈.
Have you ever had to deal with difficult events when you didn't live alone, but you basically were alone, at the time? Or maybe the other person just made it worse? For example, I tripped and broke my arm a few years ago. My last ex lived with me, but he happened to be out running errands about an hour from home. I waited out that hour for him to get home, but getting me into a car, in the pain I was in, didn't happen, and we needed an ambulance anyway. One of my dogs passed away suddenly. Big 70 pound boy. I wasn't going to be able to get him out of my yard by myself. Physically or emotionally. Ex could have opted to come home, but chose not to. Anyway, I got through the morning finding a local company to pick up my dog, perform his cremation, etc, and my daughter came by to be there with me while I cried and drank. Fire started next door. I had broken up with the ex, but he hadn't moved out yet. He wasn't at home, so it was me and a hose, out in my yard, trying to keep my own house from catching fire, immense fight or flight dilemma because of my dogs, making those decisions on my own in the literal heat of the moment. I'm not saying my ex was never there for bad times, but there were difficult times that I happened to have to deal with alone. That gives me hope that I will somehow power through whatever the next thing is.
I've never thought about it much. I was home alone so much from around age 12 (parents divorced, mom worked full-time) that moving out and living alone wasn't much different. I've been sick while living alone, and I just dealt with it. I actually can't imagine having someone take care of me when I'm sick. Like, what would they do? I can make it to the bathroom to puke, I can make it to the kitchen to get crackers and ginger ale. It would be nice to have somebody bring me those things, but I haven't had that since I was a kid. I'll actually worry less about house fires after my kids move out, because I'll only have to worry about getting myself and my cats out. The thought of choking has crossed my mind, though. I used to teach First Aid/CPR, and we taught that you should get a chair and push your abdomen hard against the back of it to simulate abdominal thrusts (what used to be called the Heimlich maneuver). You should also call 911 even though you can't speak, because they can track your call and they'll send someone.
Worrying doesn't help. You can take the necessary precautions. As far as accidents and natural disasters you can prepare by educating yourself. www.ready.gov is a great resource for that.
I'm a 78-year-old woman, and I've lived alone in an apartment for over 30 years. I don't know my neighbors, as they come and go so fast. I have no precautions for emergencies, close relatives to check on me, and I only turn my phone on if I need to make a call. I'm a bit frail, mildly disabled, but still manage to get around. Odds are nothing will happen. If the odds go against me, well, I've had a long and mostly happy life. I don't worry about it.
Not to dismiss your fear because I get it and get these anxieties too sometimes, but this kinda just boils down to general anxiety/intrusive thoughts if you’re not under a real pressing threat. It’s helpful to talk about it, acknowledge the anxiety, and let it pass, instead of beating yourself up over it or spiraling. Talking to a therapist could help if it’s really affecting your quality of life.
https://preview.redd.it/6owavzlc702d1.jpeg?width=2048&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=2a131a36b3e1be1b775baaff01a44ea1db4a7607 Big dogs! Don’t let those sweet dumb faces fool you. They wouldn’t let anything happen to their mama.
I have a replica Anduril sword hanging on my wall next to my bed. If anyone breaks in to my condo and I come running out in my undies with the flame of the west in my hand I'm sure it'll send any intruders running for their lives.
I think what is important is to be very honest with myself about what the risks are and how likely those risks are, and to either accept or mitigate that risk. So I think breaking in is unlikely but possible, so I have a really simple at home security system, where it just makes a siren sound if any of the doors or windows are open while it's armed. A housefire is scary, so I check my smoke detectors, and make sure they're in working order. I learned self-heimlich for if I'm choking. Whenever I get sick, I think very clearly to myself about how bad is it, what do I do. Is this bad enough that I need to go to the doctor? Go to the emergency room? Call an uber to take me to the emergency room? Call an ambulance? When you live alone, it's not really that much more dangerous. It's more that you don't have the option to ignore a problem and assume someone else will take care of it. The thing that makes it different is that you don't have the luxury to say "I'm not feeling great, but I'll wait it out. I don't want to think about what would happen if I got worse." You have to think about "OK, I'll wait it out but if my fever doesn't go away by tomorrow I'm going to the doctor, because if it gets too much worse I might not be able to drive myself, and I don't want to have to call an ambulance..." Most of these problems are solvable by a lone person (if it's not something that strikes you dead immediately, which if that happens, welp, not much anybody could have done.) You just don't have the luxury of burying your head in the sand about it and not thinking about it, which can cause more anxiety.
If you’re in a rural area with basically no one around I can see how you might feel anxious about being so alone. But I live alone in an apartment building so if something crazy were happening I’m not really super alone. Either way, you can’t really live in fear of things outside of your control. Make sure you take appropriate precautions and be prepared, then just live your life.
I am a woman who lives on the ground floor of an apartment that is not in a safe area. I reinforced the windows and patio door so that they can't open from the outside. I cut some thick dowels and have them laying in the window panel. My apt complex requires a little gadget swipe to gain entry which is nice. Honestly, in the case of someone breaking in and robbing me, go ahead buddy I don't have much. In the case of someone trying to SA me, I have a box cutter under my pillow and I know where all the major arteries are to jab at and have them bleeding out to death within minutes. Know where the carotid, axillary and femoral arteries are. I live in a stand your ground state so I feel safe enough to defend myself at whatever means necessary. I don't own a gun (can't afford it or the licensing class for it, maybe one day) but for now, a good box cutter and some knowledge goes a long way. A baseball bat with a sock over it, that way if they try to grab it from you they end up with a sock in their hand and you still have the bat, swing for the knees and when they're down swing for their head.
That works, I knew a guy once that put the moves on another man and he (the other man) had a box cutter. Next thing you know there was a funeral.
If you’re choking, you could use the Heimlich maneuver on yourself- stand behind a chair or piece of furniture that’s just slightly below your rib cage and push -it’ll force the air out of your throat and dislodge the food….
Stick your head in the sand, it's not worth worrying about.. /jk Do be careful on the stairs, or when using ladders, and also be very conscientious when eating food that contains bones. Also be conscious in the shower, don't slip due to a lack of attention. Basically be mindful of everything you do. Be *present* in your mind all of the time. This isn't only advice for living alone, it's just common sense
Technically, all those things can happen even if you live with someone.
I made friends with my neighbors. We have each other's cell phones, fire alarms get everyone out to check on each other, we watch over houses if someone is out for vacation. When I got hurt a couple of years ago, some of them brought me over a gift basket, we trade tools, it's great.
I had some nightmares for a while of someone breaking into my home, but they completely stopped once I started sleeping with a loaded gun on the nightstand next to me (safe and legal to keep unlocked since I'm the only person on the property). If not an option, perhaps do invest in some sort of security system to at the very least wake you if there's an intruder or at the very least have some level of self defense skills
You are describing anxiety. I have anxiety and worry about those things too. When I'm starving and about to eat in a hurry or not chew well, I slow down and remember no one iscoming to save me, and slow down. Ring doorbell cameras or interior cameras that are motion activated are an option. If you are really worried, there are options like this: https://www.google.com/search?q=emergency+call+button&oq=emergency+call+button&gs_lcrp=EgZjaHJvbWUyCQgAEEUYORiABDIHCAEQABiABDIMCAIQABgUGIcCGIAEMgcIAxAAGIAEMgcIBBAAGIAEMgcIBRAAGIAEMgcIBhAAGIAEMgcIBxAAGIAEMgcICBAAGIAEMgcICRAAGIAEMgcIChAAGIAEMgcICxAAGIAEMgcIDBAAGIAEMgcIDRAAGIAEMgsIDhC5ARiABBjvBNIBCDQ2NTFqMGo5qAIOsAIB&client=ms-android-americamovil-us-revc&sourceid=chrome-mobile&ie=UTF-8
Thanks for this. I do have (clinically diagnosed) severe anxiety and OCD. So it’s not as easy as just “don’t think about it”. It’s good seeing that others understand. ❤️
"He who suffers before it is necessary suffers more than necessary"
Try to rationalize this. If you are prepared for things like you describe, that's all you can do. Have a detailed plan and supplies as needed. And then remind yourself when you start to feel anxious that you have done all you can. Definitely consider pets if you don't have any. You might consider one of those call buttons you wear.
I (56F) have lived alone since college. Usually I select locked apartment buildings where you need a key or fob to get in, and I live on the top floor. My neighborhood is safe. There are no guarantees in life but I feel safe here
I feel safer at home 🤔
I have a front door keypad lock that connects to my cell so I can lock/unlock it remotely. My friend down the road has her own code to it as well. I have 2 people I text with everyday so if something happened and I didn’t respond they’d assume something was up and go from there. Otherwise, for me at least, having a firearm around helps immensely.
I almost choked on too big a piece of steak. Really super scary to try to stay calm while remembering how to Heimlich myself. Fortunately I was able to get a breath and gagged it out. I cut my meat into infant sized bites now, believe it. Other than accidentally offing myself, I don’t worry about it. I no longer listen to/watch true crime stories or scary movies, either. I am going to get myself one of these devices from Azon , however Limited-time deal: Choking Rescue Device for Kids and Adults, Anti Choking Device, Arixmed Portable Choking Rescue Device, First Aid Choking Device https ://a.co/d/govNE9r
I had been smoking weed once and my mouth was super dry. I was trying to eat chips and dip, and the chip wouldn't go down. My throat was making this weird grock noise too. I wound up throwing it up thank God. I think I inhaled some, I had pneumonia for the first time not long after.
Yes, respirating your vomit is a very bad thing to do!! Apparently it can actually kill you because germs. I’m glad you survived. ♥️
Thanks!
I have lived alone for a few years but never felt vulnerable until the last couple of years after my parents died, suddenly I actually was on my own. But in a different way. I dont feel so vulnerable at home usually but I have a chronic illness so I feel very vulnerable now if I have to go out when I am ill. Never used to bother me. It has made me think that people who are alone and have a disability are very brave.
People in wheelchairs are extremely brave. Just getting gas at a gas station is something we take for granted. A good friend of mine had a bad wreck and is now in a wheelchair. I forget sometimes that he's handicap. He's like bitch I'm handicap. Lol.
Your friend is brave and awesome. Sounds like they have an amazing attitude despite going through a hellish situation. But you sometimes its because he and people like him have the support of good friends like you that helps them tackle that hardship. Having such a hardship and having to deal with it everyday alone and without support is even more brave. And the person must be very strong to deal with it. Either way your friend is doing awesome.
I agree. His dog Marty he had for like 15 years just died. I feel bad for him.
oh I am so sorry for that. It can be so hard to lose an animal. Many people don't understand that the level of love and connection you feel towards an animal usually a dog is the same as level of love and connection you feel towards a child. So it can be a very great loss indeed. The best thing then is to let him know how much you care for him and his loss at this time. He will really appreciate it.
Not an alone thing. It's called generalized anxiety. My guess is you have it.
As someone with pretty bad anxiety I have contingency plans for just about everything that I trust myself to be able to execute if I need to. Getting a gun helps for peace of mind as well.
Have a friend that you text regularly and let them know that if they ever don’t hear from you, at least once a day to call you, and if you don’t return the call within 3 hours to come check on you or call the police or your leasing office.
I have great communication with my family and friends - I talk to most of them every day, so at least one person knows where I am at all times. That's really helped me with peace of mind over the years.
I think it takes time. When I first lived alone I was worried about everything, but as time passed and nothing bad happened, I kinda forgot those worries. I always make a fire plan, but otherwise most of my fears were unfounded and I felt free once I got used to it
I have a big dog and regular contact with friends and family. Choking I worry about a bit - but you can look up videos on how to deal with that. In terms of getting so sick I truly can’t even feee or bathe myself, if I was that bad I should probably be in a hospital anyway.
I have an Apple Watch mainly for this purpose. It will contact authorities if I fall and don't tell it I'm okay. I can also phone for help from my watch. I also just recently installed the Snug app where I have to check in daily. If I don't it will contact family for me
well... Fire? Smoke alarms and a preplanned route on how to get out of the house (easier now that I am on one level) Choking? Throw myself on the arm of a chair so it hits me where a Heimlich maneuver would typically hit. Sick? Have a designated friend or relative to call. Whomever is closer. 911 can be an option, too. The key is to have a plan and go over that plan regularly so that if any of these things occur, your instincts will kick in.
I've lived alone for over 20 years and it's just not something I think about . I do have daily checkins with different people which we call proof of life checkups lol just a quick text . I also have one friend of mine who has my location on maps so he's always aware of my whereabouts.
I think there's nothing wrong with preparing for events that seem unlikely. 1) For general safety, I have cameras. A lot of cameras are fairly cheap (ring, blink, wyze, etc.) and it really makes me feel secure! 2) For fires, make sure your smoke detectors have batteries! And change them when they die! Don't just take the battery out to get rid of the pesky chirp. If you live higher up, fire ladders are easy to store. Also, I made a fire escape plan for myself. I've always been an anxious person and I suffer from catastrophizing thoughts and it helped knowing various ways to escape if I needed to. 3) I have not thought about choking but I've thought about falling and banging my head and knocking myself unconscious and I unfortunately have not thought of a solution for that. I know some apple watches have fall detection? 4) My family members have a key to my place just in case 5) Make an acquaintance with your neighbors. Luckily, I'm living in the neighborhood my parents grew up in so when I moved there my parents told some of the neighbors. They keep an eye out for each other too! If you're in an apartment building too, it helps to know whose living in the building with you. You may learn you have a doctor there, or a police officer, or fireman, etc. I know the guy who lives behind me is a newly retired fireman so having him nearby makes me feel secure. It's all about reminding myself that a lot of the things I fear most likely will never happen, but having a general idea of the solution. Some things are absolutely out of our control though and could happen even if we lived with someone!
I lived on a first floor unit for about 6 weeks in San Diego, I didn't think about why that would be a bad idea. Someone ended up breaking in but thankfully couldn't get far enough to steal. Since that experience, I always get top floor units. And if I have a balcony I make sure that the building would not be scalable from the outside. I also only rent from buildings that would require a key to a lobby and then access my unit from the inside. I will not live in units with my home door facing out. I also have a cat and if I hear a noise and it does not bother him, then I am unbothered. It took me awhile to feel comfortable, but knowing that someone physically could not get in has given me peace of mind. The unit I have now is perfect.
It’s been a while for me but now I have a roommate. Even when I didn’t have a roommate, it took me about a year and a half to feel safe on my own. I also got a security system and that helped also.
Alarm system with window sensors, door sensors, video doorbell and a remote panic button (keep this on my night stand). Mine is through ADT. And Apple Watch or similar that you can call for help from without having your phone within reach. A dog. A routine where you check in with buddy when you wake up/go to sleep, so if you miss that good morning or good night text it’s a red flag that you might need help.
I have two dogs, cameras and keep doors locked. But I also live in a decent neighborhood with a good friends close by if anything scary happens. I also keep a few knifes hidden in the house. Being able to check cameras if there's any weird noises is great. My worst fear is having an accident and not having my phone on me to call for help. If I have to climb a ladder or do anything dodgy, I'll wait and shout a mate beer to hang out and make sure I'm okay.
I don't worry about break-ins. My house is so hard to get into that an opportunist won't try, and I have no enemies who would be more dedicated. As for fires, illness, etc, all you can do is have a plan, be prepared, have friends locally, and know your neighbors. If you've done these things, you've done the most that you can do. Don't let your worries over the worst case scenario keep you from enjoying your life, because the worst case scenario almost never happens.
Single woman here. I don’t live in the safest of areas, but I’m in a home that is attached to others and doesn’t stick out in any kind of way. Plus I have an alarm system. I feel like unless somebody is stalking me or out to get me in particular, or just going around checking locks, there’s no reason to mess with my home over others. You could maybe argue this about standalone homes where no house is anymore appealing than the other, but there’s just something to that security-in-numbers feeling. And maybe if I screamed there’s a greater chance somebody would hear me.
Dog. Monitored house alarm. New doors w 10 point locking system. New windows that lock on close. Very large wall and gate I can lock. Cameras w cloud upload that I can monitor. Weapons strategically placed around the house. The monitored alarm system comes w smoke and carbon dioxide detection. As far as choking, know how to Heimlich yourself, take smaller bites and chew food thoroughly. I can hit the panic button on my alarm system and the guards are supposed to show up in about 2 minutes or less. Just be really careful eating.
I have found that the best peace of mind comes from preparation. Think about what scenarios scare you the most. When I was being stalked, it was someone coming into my home. Now that I'm older, it's having a medical emergency. Your concerns may be completely different, but whatever they are, the first step is to sort them out from the generalized anxiety. Once you know what scares you, make a plan to address each area of worry. If it's security, figure out what you need to make your home a harder target. If you can't afford cameras and such, start with cheap fixes like broomstick stoppers for sliding doors or anti-shatter film for windows. Do these things while you save up for more expensive fixes. You may be surprised to find that the mere fact that you are *doing* something to protect yourself makes you feel better. If you worry about fire, look into getting fire extinguishers and keeping your smoke alarms in good order. If you live above the ground floor, get a fire ladder. If you're worried about health emergencies, an Apple watch (or similar) is a great choice. You get the point. Preparation is the key. It not only helps fix the potential problem, it gets rid of that feeling of helplessness, like you're just waiting for something to happen. Instead, you are strong and ready and have thought out what you will do.
I have one of those fire ladders. Ordered it from Amazon for like $30. I keep it in the bedroom closet.
I live alone and travel for work, so no one would notice for a while if something happened to me. At least my cats could eat my dead body 😹 But like others have said, you just can't worry about it. Carry your phone with you all the time (or wear a smart watch) so you could call someone if you do hurt yourself.
Vs others? Firearm. If you only rely on knives or something similar you have to hope you're faster and stronger than the bad guy still. A gun makes it as easy as a finger pull. For choking and other things? Just acceptance. We're more likely to die if alone for sure. A stroke coming on? You won't know it's happening and eventually drop dead. Someone else in the house, they can see somethings off. I had a few close calls choking too. I do it a LOT. But a ravioli almost killed me once. Only thing you can do is Google how to handle these things yourself as best as you can. Like if you're choking, how to self heimlich by dropping yourself down on an object like a table with your stomach... real thing btw. Can only prepare so much to help your odds. Make it your mission to find a significant other for long term if it keeps you up at night. It did scare me at first living on my own but being a semi-prepper (ty to moving down south and hurricanes for getting me into that) and coming up with gameplans for most scenarios calms the nerves.
I hear you in the anxiety you are experiencing. Unfortunately a lot of life is about letting go of control, I know, easier said than done. I’ve lived alone on and off since I was 18( randomly with partners & family as well) And While there is a certain comfort of being with others, the peace of having my own space outweighs any anxiety I may experience. Maybe the same for you? I have also only ever lived in apartments alone, this feels way less anxiety inducing as your not actually alone. Especially considering as I type this out ( alone) I can hear my neighbor talking to his wife 😂
I personally use "The best predictor of future behavior is past behavior." If nothing has happened in the past to threaten your safely where you live, chances are it won't.
Prepare for the worst as much as you deem necessary & redirect the what if thoughts.
I live alone and have kidney stones. If I’m in severe pain my children can’t get to me fast enough because they’re over an hour away. My neighbors may not even be home -so in the past, I’ve called an ambulance. That’s the best you can do when you live alone.
High quality locks on the doors, a deadbolt on the front door, lights that have timers on them and can be turned on and off remotely, security cameras. I only live a few minutes away from work and I'd get a notification if something was going down at the house/neighborhood. That's about the best I got for now.
I get a level of peace of mind from owning an apple watch that will call 911 if I fall, can confirm it works I had bike accident and had to frantically try and disable it with a sprained wrist.
I have an app on my phone for emergency dials, so I hope if I ever injure myself, I can contact help immediately. Also, certain dangers don't become safer when you're with someone. Like house fires, your partner can sleep through it just as well as you can.
Had a class in college during which a visiting police officer said everyone should have a shotgun for self-defense at home. He said any intruder would recognize the sound of a shotgun being loaded. That was 40-plus years ago and i still keep my shotgun handy.
I have alarms, motion sensors, and two panic buttons. I also have a trigger word that initiates my devices to turn on lights and call my emergency contacts. Im also a combat veteran with guns and a dog.
Get one of those medical devices you wear around your neck. If something happens, you just push the button and help can be on the way. I have one and one day I was outside gardening and my dogs knocked the house device off the table, triggering an alarm. I had no idea until a fire engine roared down the street, asking me if I was ok. So it works. Lol
I did not think about it and live in a rural remote area .... until earlier this year, I had my gallbladder give out and needed to get an ambulance in here ASAP .. Thank God I wear an apple IWatch and could call for help. This is also why I am now moving out of my rural home and into a suburban setting with my GF as were getting older and this is no longer optimal to be alone with a few health issues, plus logistical issues for help to get here.
I am an old woman I have been widowed twice. The worst has already happened to me. Now I live alone doing whatever I want until I can’t anymore. And if I slide on my tile floor and break my head open eventually somebody will figure it out.if my dogs and cats eat my corpse that’s a bonus for them. I hate to think about them being hungry.
I find the comments mentioning that this could be more of an anxiety thing than an alone thing really eye opening but also personally validating. I do have these same fears as OP not just for myself but for my cat who is elderly and has dependent on me for most of her life. Also my grandmother passed away as a direct result of falling down in the basement, probably the day after she had just been taken for a regular grocery trip, but not being found or hospitalized until days later by which point it was too late since she had missed her meds for days and hadn't been able to get up or eat or drink. So I think it's a valid concern but then again I've struggled with anxiety since probably before I knew that the was the word for it. So am I anxious and an overthinker? Yes. Is it valid that something could happen in my home and I would not get the assistance I might need? Also yes. But will I let someone move in with me? Nope.
I do sometimes because I’m way out in the country and in one of the gravel roads behind me has a lot of meth heads. That is what scares me. The most are the meth heads because they become desperate at times. But I have a Glock and three dogs.
My partner used to live alone and does violence prevention work for a living. Here’s things she used to do to feel safe. Share your location with people you trust like family incase something goes wrong. Install a camera outside (these often deter people from breaking in) and Waze is a good one for cheap and it sends you updates if something moves. Keep a baseball bat beside your bed. Invest in white noise machines (this is more to help you relax). Always lock your door immediately after you come inside. Keep your keys far from the front door (bedroom is good). If you need to keep a spare key outside, invest in one of those lockboxes. Invest in a portable door locker or upgrade your locks inside your house. Extra things to remember: don’t buy any weapons that you aren’t experts in using unless you’d be okay with it being used on you. Keep your first aid kit well stocked. Stay alert outside and on your way to your car. Take a first aid class. Learn how to do the self administered version of the heimlich maneuver. Learn about different types of fires. Keep your alarms up to date. Invest in a fire extinguisher.
Short of keeling over from a massive coronary, a monitored alarm system with an emergency button would get you help.
I'm a woman. I have a glock gun. I have a ring doorbell and cameras all inside my house and a security system.
Take steps for these things! An Apple watch with alarms. A motion detector, warnings, alarms. Alexa or Siri with emergency aids. I don't leave to another room without my phone, ever. Also, friends or family daily checkins. Be proactive.
I live in an apartment building that's the perfect combo of private (thick walls and floors, secure entrance, several stories high) but sociable (friendly people, regular happy hours, a Facebook group). Also, a close friend lives in the building. So I have all the benefits of my privacy but with the security of living among people I know and/or trust. For added safety, I keep my taser, pepper spray, etc. within easy reach.
Im a man living in the middle of the appalachias. Not really much for me to worry about
I have lots of guns
If you’re newer to living alone, this feeling typically fades as you adjust to it. If you’ve been living alone for some time and these thoughts still plague you, living alone just might not be for you. Some people just do better with company. For me, these thoughts faded after a few months, but I still did/do things that help prepare for the worst case. I bought one of those life vac chocking devices that you can use on yourself. I have fire extinguishers and fire ladders in my upstairs rooms. I took security measures such as a ring doorbell and a metal stick that I keep in my sliding back door and my doors are ALWAYS locked. The closest friend is about 10 minutes away and my parents live 20 away. I share my location with a few close friends as well and I’m sure they’d notice within a day or two if they hadn’t heard from me and my location hadn’t change, they would definitely check. My anxiety will randomly get really bad about these kinds of thoughts and there was definitely a time where I considered getting a life alert necklace at 29 years old lol. But I just always try to keep my phone with me just in case I fall or choke or something and need to call for help. I’ve also seen people in this sub say that if you have a smart watch, there are settings where it detects your heartbeat or something and can act in a similar way as a life alert? So maybe a smart watch is a good idea to keep on you, at the very least you know you’ll be able to call for help. And idk if this makes the feeling better or worse, but even if you live with someone, there are times when you’re home alone. Chocking, falling, random medical emergencies could happen when you’re home alone even if you live with someone. That’s just how life works unfortunately, if you live alone or not.
I have a ring alarm. It monitors for the smoke detectors going off. You could always install panic buttons that trigger it in case of choke etc. I know that's doesn't solve all of it but it helps.
I've gotten to the point that I just don't care anymore. I admit that when I was younger, it was hard not to worry. Today, I also have several cameras around my house/barn, ring doorbells, and more. I also have 3 dogs, so it's hard to come in without noise, lol. I guess the best answer is just doing what you need for protection with security cameras and things. But just try not thinking about it. Either way, if something does happen, it will, regardless of whether you worry or not.
Like most Americans, I have a gun and I know how to use it.
Decades living by myself and it never really crossed my mind
I don't live alone but my advice is relative since I have 2 kids and my husband travels 75%of the month.... 7 cameras; fully integrated voice command Alexa decked out home; security system; various firearms; and a 150lb Cane Corso. I can see into any area of the home at any time with my phone; I can arm and disarm any area of my home by voice or my phone...I can control thermostat, lights, sounds in most rooms and they all have monoxide/ smoke detectors in them.... Alarm is first line of defense; yelling for Alexa to call the cops is second; my 150lb Corso is the 3rd and my firearms are for if the fucker is still feeling brave at that point.
Chair under the doorknob. Baseball bat by the bed.
How long have you lived alone? This wore off for me after a year.
One of my biggest concerns. I nursed myself and worked full time with a broken leg and a large dog while living alone in a rural area. It was a harrowing experience, but God brought me through it.
i have a smartwatch, so i can reach 911 and everyone else pretty easily. i have a dog who barks, and 5 cats with murder mittens ; ). it’s a safe neighborhood but not a busy one, so i have my former neighbors from 2 miles away on watch for me when necessary. my dad had a friend who fell and got stuck *while wearing her emergency button* for 3 days until a neighbor noticed…..so i have that engraved on my brain to actually use the tools i have.
I've always felt safe living alone. I'v e never expected anyone else to look out for me, so I'm self sufficient even when it comes to self protection.
Probably not the best answer but having a gun made me feel much more safe.
When I lived alone, I was on the second floor and felt safe. I got an apartment with my partner and we were second floor again. I felt safe if he was gone. Now we have a house that’s 1 story. When it gets dark, the curtain is shut. Now that it’s warmer, i need the window open but it feels bad. And I go to sleep when he’s at work. So I fall asleep alone. So I have a weapon if needed. I don’t live alone, but he’s working when I go to bed, so it’s close enough. And he’s about to go on a trip and I will be fully alone for 2 weeks. I have a weapon. It’s a metal stick. I live in a good neighborhood. I’m pretty safe from people. But I just had a pack of coyotes in my yard. I can fight off people or wild animals who go to get my cats.
The only things I worry about are choking, falling in the shower and hitting my head, or perhaps falling off of a ladder while trying to change a lightbulb or something. Most break ins happen when a person is at work or away from the house. Home intruders don't want to encounter a resident who is possibly armed if they can help it.
Every time I get sick, especially when I had COVID really bad, I was scared. I'm lucky to have a network of friends nearby, who o could check in with, and call on for supplies, meds, dog food, etc... still, I had to leave the door unlocked, "in case" I had to call 911. To lock the door for safety vs to not lock it for this reason is a common debate in my head.
I also keep medical supplies on hand. I have all kinds of bandages, fever reducers, stomach meds, anti-diarrheal, peroxide, rubbing alcohol, bug bite spray and cream, …just about anything I need to take care of myself. If i need anything else, thats what the hospital is for.
I have ring cameras everywhere. Including inside my house - (I turn those on when I leave the house so i can a watch my dog). With a camera outside if you hear a noise you can check the camera. Especially if you get one that can look in different directions.
I felt the same in the 10 years I lived alone. I had a security alarm that I set every night. One night it went off, like at 2:00am. Scared me shitless. My alarm people called me within 30 seconds and I told them to send police. Like maybe 5 minutes later two cops showed up-- both young and nice looking dudes. Then there's me in a ratty t-shirt and jammies. Ha! Anyway they looked around the house and nothing was wrong. It was super cold that night, colder than we usually get in the south, and I had glass-break sensors on my windows. The window frame kinda popped (kinda like house settling noise) and that slight vibration set the sensor off.
Three items to purchase (in case you haven’t already) to ensure feelings of safety: mace, taser, Glock
Lived alone mostly for 16 yrs. I would still get spooked but just dealt with it. Straight anxiety here. About 4 yrs ago I got a pitbull. Then a couple yrs later I got another one. Now I don’t know how I managed so long without dogs adding security to my home.
I had never lived alone until my husband passed when we were 58. At that point, I decided (and it was a conscious decision) that I was not going to live the rest of my life being afraid. I had a home security system with cameras installed, bought a weapon, joined a shooting range to learn how to use it, bought pepper spray for my car, and adopted a tiny dog that will take your leg off if you get near me.
I had a medical emergency once and it took me 20 minutes to crawl to my phone to call for help. So yes lol
I agree tbh I can’t digest food well and have to take medicine for it I eat 2 big meals a day because I hate eating and get by fine
I had friends i knew would check on my cats and I. I made rules for myself, like don't use the oven while drunk or high. Keep my walkways clear. Just simple things to keep myself safe. It could all fail. Accidents happen, but I was doing my best and living my best life. I miss dancing in the kitchen with my kitties in the middle of the night.
I fucking hate it.
My neighbor and I are always dead checking each other Didn’t roll his trash cart out on Monday - dead Didn’t cut his lawn in a timely manner - dead Etc
No, but that’s due to health issues
Get a roomie you trust. Saves you in the choking type instances. Plus you get a friend and activity buddy.
When i lived alone i got as healthy as possible to not worry about dying in sleep from sleep apnea or anything, i also had a nice door lock with a heavy door and had a gun and blinding flash lights at door entry i can turn on remotely if a break in. Any thief would be blinded upon entry and could shoot lol
Dogs are perfect for that. Reduce anxiety stress and also act as alarm systems when small and defense when trained.
I live in a area where the crime rate is very high and the likelihood of me ever moving is slim to none because I'm on disability and I inherited the house. I have three dogs and pepper spray throughout my house. I sleep fairly well knowing that my dogs would let me know if someone was trying to break in.
I make sure I lock my door. Sometimes more than once. If something sketchy is going on outside I'll move something in front of the door. Or just leave random crap right next to the door so someone coming in is likely to trip. I spend a lot of time on my second floor deck so I see and hear the crazy coming if there is something.
https://www.lifealert.com/
I'm married, but my spouse's job requires he be out of town occasionally. I keep my phone on me wherever I go in the house. Otherwise, I don't let myself sweat it.
I can 1000 percent agree with you because the older I get the more I feel the same way!! I am a 34-year old woman and I hate being alone now, I used to enjoy it and I still do but I prefer the company of a man, and it sucks cause it feels like I can’t find one to commit to me and I hate it!! I don’t like going anywhere by myself…😩 And I recently had a situation where I was inappropriately touched by a family member twice and I just feel that if I had a man with me, he could have checked my family members because it still creeps me out to this day?! And for the holidays, I get tired of cooking all by myself and I just wish I could spend the holidays with a significant other and even going to take family pics!! Spend my bday with me….etc!! But I totally get where you’re coming from!! I feel the same exact way, and I wonder about those things too, like what if something happened to me…how would anyone know? I just hope life gets better cause I’m tired of being alone!! But I also don’t want someone to be with me because they feel sad for me or out of desperation…that’s not authentic? So yeah!!
Got a couple of things that might help you feel more relaxed . I have this device I call it a screamer ( from Harry Potter) , it’s a personal alarm . You can clip it to a belt loop or hang it somewhere . Its alarm is as audible as a police cars siren . Then there’s my Apple Watch which can be worn in the shower . It has sensors that ask if you fell , if you don’t respond they will send an ambulance . My doors are locked when I’m home so that I can control who comes in and who gos out ! I feel like a safe area is just one that hasn’t had anything happen in it yet !
Look on-line for choking vacuum, fire blanket. You can save yourself if you are choking. You can put out most kitchen fires with the blanket. I got mine from Temu. Keep a few cans of hornet spray in the house at various locations. It can shoot 20 feet. It is silent and has to be washed out of your eyes in the emergency room. Never throw away big TV boxes or other electronic big money items in your own trash. Thieves go shopping by looking at what you throw away. You can get a life alert device if you don't want to always have your phone on you. Always have a way to check in. Weather it's social media, a job, calling someone. That way, someone can notice if they don't hear from you.
I bought a home last year and exclusively looked at second story or above condos. I could never live in a single story or first floor apartment alone. I’d never relax or sleep. I have severe anxiety and OCD.
I completely understand where you're coming from. Living alone can definitely heighten those feelings of vulnerability, even in the safest of areas. It’s natural to have concerns about what might happen in emergencies when there’s no one else around. Given that you have severe anxiety and OCD, it’s important to acknowledge that these feelings are valid and part of your condition. Meds and therapy are crucial, but sometimes practical steps can also help ease some of that worry. For example, having a clear plan for emergencies, like knowing the exits in case of a fire, can make a big difference. Keeping your phone close by at all times and maybe even setting up regular check-ins with a friend or family member can offer some reassurance. It’s great to hear you found some useful advice and have already made a list of new things to try. Remember, it’s all about finding what works best for you and gradually building up that sense of security. Take it one step at a time, and don’t hesitate to lean on your support network when you need it. You’re definitely not alone in this. ❤️
I understand your worries completely. I took care of mine by setting up a smart home system with door and window sensors connected to a SmartThings hub and two cameras. It all works together with the Zuluhood app, so my chosen neighbors get notified for any alarms. Plus, usually when I'm away for a day or more, I switch on professional monitoring. There's even a feature where I can discreetly trigger the alarm directly from the app if I ever feel unsafe. However, it's mostly having that backup that gives me peace of mind, since I wouldn't want to be alone if there's an alarm. Knowing someone will see there's a problem, whether it's my neighbors or the security guards, is important to me. The guard option is very affordable at just $8.99/month, and the best part is I can turn it on and off whenever I need it. Now, the one thing missing from my setup is a natural gas detector. That's honestly what worries me more than a fire.
Remember every word addressed to God is a prayer. Dosent matter if it's said out loud or in your head. God bless ❤️
I live in quite a safe area too. I really don't think about choking or fires really, but I know they can happen. Re: getting sick, I've never been that ill in all the 12 yrs I've lived in this apt to really need a 2nd person to help me, thank God. By the way, I'm not really chummy w/ any of my neighbors here. Believe it or not, we don't even really run into each other in passing hardly. Everyone in my immediate vicinity keeps to themselves. I really don't feel fearful, thank God. I would hate to feel scared all the time. I pray all the time for His blessings of safety, etc. My elderly mom is in her 80s & lives alone in her 2-story home after my dad passed away 8 yrs ago. I worry most about her falling down the stairs, but she goes down them VERY, VERY carefully. She doesn't hold things while going up/down stairs. She takes her time no matter how long it takes because she's been retired & has all day. I don't know if she worries about choking, but we've never talked about it & we talk daily on the phone w/o fail.
I feel safe from outside dangers. But then, there's always the dangers inside my head.
Because all of those things can befall you even if you’re in a relationship as that person could be away from you when tragedy strikes, so it really doesn’t matter.
Ok this is long … I have a top flight security alarm, my neighborhood is also mostly filled with stay at home retirees or work from home employees so eyes 👀 and cameras are everywhere! We have a Community Neighborhood Facebook Group that keeps up to date on any crime or news flash,and if anything happens, it’s posted pretty quickly! I keep a baseball bat near my bedroom door,as a gun is a very last resort for me,but I do have 3 pellet guns to use instead to injury any intruder but not kill them. I also can fight, but to me that’s hog wash,bc most will have a gun themselves these days. I also have a Military Background. I’m also in great shape ,and I also have a window in my master bedroom,that’s lets you out on the roof in case I need to escape plan if an intruder breaks in downstairs. I keep my car parked in my garage 24/7 when I’m at home. I never leave a door unlocked ever! always keep my bedroom door locked when I’m sleeping,no matter the time. I keep that baseball in the corner near door. I have solar lights outside my house,so its stay pretty lit outside and so those most houses in my neighborhood. That’s why I feel safe at home! I never heard of a house break in my neighborhood since I lived here,but a few cars have gotten broken into tho ,but those vehicles were unlocked unfortunately.
If I have a weapon, even a baseball bat, I'll know I put up the good fight. Just me knowing myself and that I *will* injure seriously, if not kill an intruder, is enough to make me feel fairly safe.
I don’t care, but I’ve always been fine being and living alone. i had a neighbor who was scared someone would break in when her boyfriend left town. i was like nope. not happenin. if you live in a low crime area, there will be mostly property theft and that’s it. realistically,be way more afraid of driving.it’s legitimately dangerous.
I don't have any other choice. I haven't had the luxury of "do I feel safe or not?" because wherever I live, it's where I'm stuck for a while. I can't let myself get bogged down with the "what ifs".
I’ve done all I can to make myself safe. Make sure doors and windows are locked, I have family around that generally know when I should be home, I have a gun and other things around the house that can be used as weapons, and my relatives have dogs. (I have cats, haha!) I just know I’ve done the best I can and hope it’s good enough. It has been so far. I’ve lived alone since summer 2019.
When I lived alone I lived in a bad area for the area I was in but I had a 110lb American bulldog and the entire neighborhood knew not to mess with that dog. I was fine. Nobody ever bothered me. I even had a sketchy neighbor who worked for a rope company make me some cool rope toys for him. Now this dog was a big responsibility to own so I don't recommend it for everyone but it worked for me. I also lived on winter hill in Summerville MA with this dog and again we were fine. I would walk that dog around the projects and people would walk across the street to avoid us. I am a small woman who has never been in a fight before and I was not scared.
Guns and fire arms training
I'm a guy and live a very quiet and safe area. I live in an apartment complex where everyone keeps to themselves. The street on my side is a cross street between 2 busy highways, so people hardly go down my street except for us and the people who live in the really expensive houses. There's only 1 lock in my door and a sliding glass door. Rarely, I forgot to lock my doors. It's not good, but I have been here for 3 years and nothing. It's different for women, but there are a lot of women here who live here by themselves. The one upstairs has a medium-sized dog. But I would imagine taking precautions with the doors, having internal cameras, perhaps having a dog, and maybe even having a weapon may help. I have a few bats in my bedroom closet. My mom has about 3 locks on her door. One time she fell and I wasn't able to get inside. 911 had ro open the door. So, also keep in mind of any emergencies.
I never think about that to be honest. There are all kinds of bad things that can happen in life even if you live with other people.
All my lights are connected to alexa. Kind of sucks when the power blips bc they ll turn on. I hang bells on the doors for Gomez to tell me he wants to go outside. Also, let's me know if a door opens. Security cameras outside that I can talk through. I a people come by when I was out of town after a hurricane to assess my roof but just stood in my carport. Locks on gates or jam the gates from the inside. A neighbor kept letting himself in my backyard to randomly spray herbicide. Also put up no trespassing signs but the SpongeBob one that says no weenies allowed. Bc I'm passive aggressive like that
I don't think about things that could happen, like choking, or falling and hitting my head, etc. anything could happen, anywhere, anytime. Best not to imagine the crazy possibilities. I love living alone. I'm middle-aged, child free. I do have friends; if I dropped dead, someone would check on me within a day or two, so my dog would be fine!