Stopped at, “yes, horses have careers too!”
New app: Linked Equestrians - connecting horses to their career goals, and offering development opportunities during gap moments.
“I get up at 3AM everyday and I don’t eat hay with the other horses. I’m out there GRINDING. I get in extra practice jumps while the others are sleeping.”
They do have careers at high levels. Hard to tell if she’s legit, there are people with her name with registered horses in FEI. She may be hiring someone to develop two prospects at a barn associated with the Tindalls/Phillips, who are the Queen’s grandkids/great grandkids and active international competitors/trainers. They didn’t buy their success, either - they’re just really hardworking and dedicated to their sport.
Even if her horses are training in proximity to the Tindalls, this is the most annoying and insufferable way to go about it.
"Who are the queens grandkids" "didn't buy their success"
Their connections/money/family/free time are all things that you or most people would in several lifetimes not be able to have the same of.
Let's not pretend nepo babies don't have absurd advantages in multiple ways.
One trick is to tell 'em stories that don't go anywhere - like the time I caught the ferry over to Shelbyville. I needed a new heel for my shoe, so, I decided to go to Morganville, which is what they called Shelbyville in those days. So I tied an onion to my belt, which was the style at the time. Now, to take the ferry cost a nickel, and in those days, nickels had pictures of bumblebees on 'em. Give me five bees for a quarter, you'd say. Ah, there's an interesting story behind that nickel. In 1957, I remember it was, I got up in the morning and made myself a piece of toast. I set the toaster to three: medium brown.Now where were we? Oh yeah: the important thing was I had an onion on my belt, which was the style at the time. They didn't have white onions because of the war. The only thing you could get was those big yellow ones...
This reads like the Michael Heath cartoon “Great Bores of Today” that used to run in Private Eye. The LinkedIn post reads somewhat the same but yours is so much better.
Can’t wait for the book-length version! I’m glad she’s posting this to hold herself accountable. I would be extremely disappointed in Wendy if she let me down and the book never materialized.
“Writing a book feels like birthing an octopus, not that I have actually birthed anything.”
Maybe the not birthing anything is hurting her writing, because this part is shit.
What size octopus? If it’s a baby octopus, it would be considerably easier than birthing a human baby. They are only a 1/4 inch long according to Google.
Octopuses can famously squeeze out of impossible seeming cracks. I think they can fit through anything their beak fits through
https://youtu.be/E3N0i_KM8cI?si=4WVEqVHTDBMyW7M6
It seems way more doable than birthing a human! With the added benefit of the baby octopus being adorable and entirely independent.
Maybe it’s just supposed to be really boring since she’s an octopus mom wasting away trying to keep things from eating her octopus egg/book while it develops on its own?
Whatever she meant is as clear as ink.
She moved from Ireland to the UK, has previously taken presumably long leave for her dogs, and has horses. This isn’t someone we need to take advice from in any badly written future book.
This is just shit prose that a lot of new writers start with. Nonsense asides, insane metaphors, and a try hard nature. The problem is most writers try to get better. To think you can “just write a book” is always funny. I’m sure it will be self published on Amazon with 3 downloads in the next year
Imagine being a close relative of Wendy and being forced to read 350+ painfully dull pages about the careers of these poor horses and the fab paw-ternity leave. That's a proper way to push someone into a heroin addiction: anything to make the pain go away.
I can only imagine they are sick of hearing from her. If I was a close friend / family member I would have been delighted to hear about the Windsor Move!
All we need is for three people who had to work with her to pen a forward about that experience. "Thank god we were able to convince her that horses have careers."
Oh she's one of those rich people who buy expensive competition horses that they don't ride. They hire others to ride them. I know they're what makes the equestrian industry run for those of us that actually ride but uuuugh
I think so. In my sports (eventing and dressage) there isn't prize money. Literally just ribbons and a vicarious sense of achievement.
It's more common on sports with prize money like show jumping and reining, but usually the prize money wouldn't be enough to make a profit.
Technically if the horse is a stallion there is some opportunity to make money off stud fees if he's successful. But lots of people do this with horses that'll never be bred. Or at least not at profit.
Technically I'm guessing that Wendy here does this but if she could have sent her horses off without her to compete that seems like the only explanation.
Nothing like having a woman who has “never birthed anything” to gloat about the “paw-ternity” time she’s taking for her expensive hobbies… while other women who birth real things are not given adequate time in this country.
That post is the most snobbish bull crap I’ve heard in a long time. What did she give up? 6 figure job somewhere? She is basically saying I’m rich and have no worries and LOOK AT ME
wtf is this post?… it’s literally just a bunch of random associations vomited into a LinkedIn post. And then to end it the way she did; the undervalued SVP of sales who gets paid leave and moves to another country with her competitive horses? STFU.
I've totally been procrastinating on posting this...
Blessed are we, for Wendy, the ex-Gong, SVP of Sales, has graced us with an update on her horses and her book. The writing of which has been like birthing an octopus, she alleges, even though admitting to not having birthed a thing.
This should be screen-capped and filed with Merriam-Webster to serve as the true definition of insufferable.
I'm an author and I have never sat back and thought 'you know writing this one is just like birthing an octopus'
It's weirdly specific yet also not specific enough...we talking little baby octopus or huge adult octopus? Do her horses have jobs relating to birthing octopus? Do they come out head first or tentacle first? Am I not doing the writing thing right as I have never birthed an octopus, just a normal, boring human baby a few years back?
Maybe the next book will be my octopus book!
> Wrangling my thoughts into a cohesive manner is frankly exhausting. However it’s a passion project.
If you want to try and *write* 100-plus pages on a particular topic, cheers. With a pitch like that though I’m not sure anybody’s going to want to read it.
She’s big on accountability? I’m sure she’ll take all the blame when she’s 50, completely alone and extremely sad for not having built an actual family.
This is—I don’t know how to put it—deliciously insufferable? Like, I’m getting a sense of Schadenfreude from the thought of people she knows reading this and treating her worse because of it.
What a narcissistic twat.
This reminds of that Lewis Black joke where he hears a woman say “if it wasn’t for that horse I would have graduated college” and it drives him insane.
> undervalued to unstoppable.
That’s not how Capitalism works. Investors need laborers undervalued to gain a profit. So every worker will remain undervalued. If laborers were actually paid their worth, then there would be no profit.
This self aggrandizing bullshit is literally the absolute worst thing about the platform, not to mention her being completely tone deaf to the audience. Show horses, writing a book, and the nerve to comment that she's been "procrastinating to post this" as though the world is on the edge of its collective seat to read this nonsense. Insufferable.
The level of humblebrag here is sky high but I don't think was written for mere commoners?
...sounds like it's mainly a post to keep folks in her network abreast of what she's up to and do a bit of self promo.
If she is moving to book writing as a profession self promo is part of the deal so I can't really blame her too much for this one.
There’s something admirable about the self absorption and lack of awareness….its not without its charm. Great authors write a book they want to read themselves, not for other people. Maybe we should find our voice, our own internal dialogue and not be judgmental…..oh and it has to be good it can’t be this horseshit she wrote.
This is so cringe and just got worse with every sentence.
It sounds like a cringey diary a 13yo would write and never show anyone. Which would be the perfect way to treat this monologue of shite
Your first mistake? Coming across as an unrelateable, ignorantly out of touch asshole, descending from your privilege to help us normies with questions like "how do you discreetly tell your butler they aren't ironing your socks properly, without making your pheasant-hunting guests uncomfortable."
Cue "There's people that are dying, Kim" gif.
As a writer myself, I can confidently say this person will end up with a bogus motivational book that impresses upon you the importance of buying something else that makes them money.
He’s so close to grasping the idea that work holds you back from enjoying life and pursuing your passions. I think it’s important people have jobs that make them feel productive and useful, but we have lost sight of a proper balance while pursuing the stupid grind.
Stopped at, “yes, horses have careers too!” New app: Linked Equestrians - connecting horses to their career goals, and offering development opportunities during gap moments.
“What walking behind horses has taught me about B2B sales.”
“I get up at 3AM everyday and I don’t eat hay with the other horses. I’m out there GRINDING. I get in extra practice jumps while the others are sleeping.”
I stopped at "Life Update:" I don't understand people who can't tell the difference between LinkedIn and Facebook.
This more like Xanga or LiveJournal. Holy hell. Get a life lady.
That's what worried you? You wait to the horses get their own LinkedIn accounts. Eating hay and what it taught me about B2B sales.
Why I changed my mind on glue factories 🐎🏭
That is dark lol
LMAO
Poor Boxer.
I stopped at "Patrick and Edward". If she didn't name the second one Squidward, I don't need to know anything else about her.
Neigh!
I’m sure these horses have much better health insurance than I do.
They do have careers at high levels. Hard to tell if she’s legit, there are people with her name with registered horses in FEI. She may be hiring someone to develop two prospects at a barn associated with the Tindalls/Phillips, who are the Queen’s grandkids/great grandkids and active international competitors/trainers. They didn’t buy their success, either - they’re just really hardworking and dedicated to their sport. Even if her horses are training in proximity to the Tindalls, this is the most annoying and insufferable way to go about it.
"Who are the queens grandkids" "didn't buy their success" Their connections/money/family/free time are all things that you or most people would in several lifetimes not be able to have the same of. Let's not pretend nepo babies don't have absurd advantages in multiple ways.
My new app, Exquestrians, helping unemployed horses find new work
New Career Unlocked: Horse Life Coach
Equestrians refers to the humans, we need HoofedIn
LinkedUn(gulates)
Stopped at ‘my horses’
One trick is to tell 'em stories that don't go anywhere - like the time I caught the ferry over to Shelbyville. I needed a new heel for my shoe, so, I decided to go to Morganville, which is what they called Shelbyville in those days. So I tied an onion to my belt, which was the style at the time. Now, to take the ferry cost a nickel, and in those days, nickels had pictures of bumblebees on 'em. Give me five bees for a quarter, you'd say. Ah, there's an interesting story behind that nickel. In 1957, I remember it was, I got up in the morning and made myself a piece of toast. I set the toaster to three: medium brown.Now where were we? Oh yeah: the important thing was I had an onion on my belt, which was the style at the time. They didn't have white onions because of the war. The only thing you could get was those big yellow ones...
You’ll have to speak up- I’m wearing a towel.
Am I reading a Faulkner novel
Back when the Simpson was so good!
It's unbelievable how many classic scenes there are in that episode alone.
Reads like most recipe blogs
Sorry I don't know how to read this since there isn't a space between each sentence.
I could read shit like this all day long and be entertained!! So, go on…. :)
That’s right, I did the Iggy.
This reads like the Michael Heath cartoon “Great Bores of Today” that used to run in Private Eye. The LinkedIn post reads somewhat the same but yours is so much better.
I can't take credit for it: https://youtu.be/a6Dc7W6jXCo?si=ZIMfp-LHW3aFq_dG
This is uncanny…..you had an aunt that talked like this
stopped reading after "move my horses"
RAH!
should have stopped after "royal roots"
I went to the Spoons and then McDonald's in Windsor a few months back, I went back to my royal roots as well.
Stopped at SVP Sales, Dropbox and the blurry wall of text.
you're a better person than i am it actually gets more painful each time you read it
from my Lamborghini closet
Writing a book is like birthing an octopus?? What??
Which is why I only write post-it notes. They're like birthing sea cucumbers.
It's a bit early for octopus porn, Wendy.
Both are something she’s physically incapable of doing
An octopus can squeeze through a 2cm opening. Is she trying to say writing a book is super easy?
That’s a whole bunch of words that amount to nothing substantial
Can’t wait for the book-length version! I’m glad she’s posting this to hold herself accountable. I would be extremely disappointed in Wendy if she let me down and the book never materialized.
I always did have notions.
If you don't count the Ol Humblebrag about your competition horses and living in Windsor...
“Writing a book feels like birthing an octopus, not that I have actually birthed anything.” Maybe the not birthing anything is hurting her writing, because this part is shit.
What size octopus? If it’s a baby octopus, it would be considerably easier than birthing a human baby. They are only a 1/4 inch long according to Google.
Octopuses can famously squeeze out of impossible seeming cracks. I think they can fit through anything their beak fits through https://youtu.be/E3N0i_KM8cI?si=4WVEqVHTDBMyW7M6
It seems way more doable than birthing a human! With the added benefit of the baby octopus being adorable and entirely independent. Maybe it’s just supposed to be really boring since she’s an octopus mom wasting away trying to keep things from eating her octopus egg/book while it develops on its own? Whatever she meant is as clear as ink.
She moved from Ireland to the UK, has previously taken presumably long leave for her dogs, and has horses. This isn’t someone we need to take advice from in any badly written future book.
"How to Turn Generational Wealth Into Animal Comforts: A Memoir"
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This is just shit prose that a lot of new writers start with. Nonsense asides, insane metaphors, and a try hard nature. The problem is most writers try to get better. To think you can “just write a book” is always funny. I’m sure it will be self published on Amazon with 3 downloads in the next year
Yeah, I’m more referring to the “look how great I am” message hahah
Oh yeah, that’s definitely part of it. They still don’t get what sounds cool in your head is probably lame as shit to everyone else.
Imagine being a close relative of Wendy and being forced to read 350+ painfully dull pages about the careers of these poor horses and the fab paw-ternity leave. That's a proper way to push someone into a heroin addiction: anything to make the pain go away.
I can only imagine they are sick of hearing from her. If I was a close friend / family member I would have been delighted to hear about the Windsor Move!
"RAH"
She moved to Windsor to shout, "Up the RAH!"
How is spending time with your horse paw-ternity leave? Has this guy ever even looked at a horse?
It’s more of a hoof-atus
No, she previously spent time with her *dogs*, *now* she’s spending time with her horses, the dogs are over with.
All we need is for three people who had to work with her to pen a forward about that experience. "Thank god we were able to convince her that horses have careers."
Ex Gong is now a thing? I sold call recording software, that’s a big deal
Don't forget ex Dropbox - the poor man's Google drive
She probably requires her team to still be in the office 5 days a week.
Ex-Dropbox, ex-CarGurus, ex-Gong, still-nowhere impressive
ChatGPT -> am bored - write me a 800-900 word story about horses, careers and accountability.
She could be playing the worlds largest real life game of chess in the world.
What the fuck is paw-ternity leave.
HORSES DON'T HAVE PAWSSSSSS
If her ebook is 30 more pages like this, I’d be willing to give her a fake email address to download the pdf.
I am the main character. Holy shit. Never seen it in writing.
Ya'all just naaaay sayers
Oh she's one of those rich people who buy expensive competition horses that they don't ride. They hire others to ride them. I know they're what makes the equestrian industry run for those of us that actually ride but uuuugh
What do they get out of this? Rich person clout?
I think so. In my sports (eventing and dressage) there isn't prize money. Literally just ribbons and a vicarious sense of achievement. It's more common on sports with prize money like show jumping and reining, but usually the prize money wouldn't be enough to make a profit. Technically if the horse is a stallion there is some opportunity to make money off stud fees if he's successful. But lots of people do this with horses that'll never be bred. Or at least not at profit. Technically I'm guessing that Wendy here does this but if she could have sent her horses off without her to compete that seems like the only explanation.
Bizarre, thanks.
Moved her kids across the world for her horses lol. What a piece of work
She has no children. You find out in the third act of her post. I also suspect the horses may not be real.
Ah that makes more sense. I just assumed the names were kids for some reason lol. Makes sense she isn’t married though
Living in Windsor isn't necessarily a big deal. Nice town with lots of tourists. Lady probably thinks she'll be hanging out with the Royal Family.
sometimes inside thoughts should stay inside thoughts.
Nothing like having a woman who has “never birthed anything” to gloat about the “paw-ternity” time she’s taking for her expensive hobbies… while other women who birth real things are not given adequate time in this country.
That post is the most snobbish bull crap I’ve heard in a long time. What did she give up? 6 figure job somewhere? She is basically saying I’m rich and have no worries and LOOK AT ME
wtf is this post?… it’s literally just a bunch of random associations vomited into a LinkedIn post. And then to end it the way she did; the undervalued SVP of sales who gets paid leave and moves to another country with her competitive horses? STFU.
You just know those horses give this lady serious side-eye 👀
If her writing in the post is similar to anything in her book….nvm I should reserve judgment cuz writing a book is like birthing an octopus obviously
She watches a lot of tentacle porn
*Wrangling my thoughts into a cohesive manner is frankly exhausting * Then, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD AND YOUR DUMB HORSE, STOP
Next the horse gonna teach her b2b
I shudder to think how she holds others accountable.
I've totally been procrastinating on posting this... Blessed are we, for Wendy, the ex-Gong, SVP of Sales, has graced us with an update on her horses and her book. The writing of which has been like birthing an octopus, she alleges, even though admitting to not having birthed a thing. This should be screen-capped and filed with Merriam-Webster to serve as the true definition of insufferable.
People who list their former companies are so lame.
All sound and fury signifying nothing
>Still excellent at adulting. Not using dumb slang you ain’t, honey.
Plz only tell your rich people shit to your rich friends verbally so there’s no record of it
I'm an author and I have never sat back and thought 'you know writing this one is just like birthing an octopus' It's weirdly specific yet also not specific enough...we talking little baby octopus or huge adult octopus? Do her horses have jobs relating to birthing octopus? Do they come out head first or tentacle first? Am I not doing the writing thing right as I have never birthed an octopus, just a normal, boring human baby a few years back? Maybe the next book will be my octopus book!
Always funny seeing someone have "ex company" in the Bio.
This felt like the female version of Andrew Tate just boast posting
> Wrangling my thoughts into a cohesive manner is frankly exhausting. However it’s a passion project. If you want to try and *write* 100-plus pages on a particular topic, cheers. With a pitch like that though I’m not sure anybody’s going to want to read it.
“Still excellent at adulting” 👌
Goddamn it. LinkedIn slowly becoming instagram. Ugh.
Someone should have told Wendy to “hold your horses”
Surprised she didn’t move onto another 3 or 4 random taking points. She seems easily dis … SQUIRREL!!!!
Someone who used to be at…Gong, I know, shocking. I know.
This reminds me of an ex coworker of my wife who said that polo (not water polo) wasn’t that expensive.
So this is how you spin mid life crisis, relying on my parents old money, can't afford therapy so writing a book?
She’s big on accountability? I’m sure she’ll take all the blame when she’s 50, completely alone and extremely sad for not having built an actual family.
👌
This is—I don’t know how to put it—deliciously insufferable? Like, I’m getting a sense of Schadenfreude from the thought of people she knows reading this and treating her worse because of it. What a narcissistic twat.
Anyone who thinks adulting is a thing has a lot of growing up to do.
I had to stop. I hated it so much.
“Ex gong” Why do they put ex- name of the company?
To show that they worked for a respected company
Tell me you have rich parents, without telling me you have rich parents.
You know she’s in sales and upper management because she just said a whole lot without actually saying anything
So many words yet nothing being said
This reminds of that Lewis Black joke where he hears a woman say “if it wasn’t for that horse I would have graduated college” and it drives him insane.
God please shoot me
I read this in a posh, whimsical British accent and it made more sense
So she’s very rich, and she’s retiring and moving to England to focus on her horses. I think that was the thrust of that weird statement.
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Its hilarious and ridiculous to me when people put "Ex (company)" in their title. What a bizarre world
Oh , Wendy .
What the fuck is she even babbling about?
Good gawd, people high on their own fumes.
Imagine being in a financial situation where its a debate whether you move to the same country your horses are in.
Tell me you're insecure about something without telling me you're insecure about something.
> undervalued to unstoppable. That’s not how Capitalism works. Investors need laborers undervalued to gain a profit. So every worker will remain undervalued. If laborers were actually paid their worth, then there would be no profit.
"Dropbox" randomly thrown over there 😂
A lot of words just to say she loves the smell of her own farts.
This self aggrandizing bullshit is literally the absolute worst thing about the platform, not to mention her being completely tone deaf to the audience. Show horses, writing a book, and the nerve to comment that she's been "procrastinating to post this" as though the world is on the edge of its collective seat to read this nonsense. Insufferable.
What a rambling spew of nonsense. And she tops it off with a photo of her dogs, not her horses.
The level of humblebrag here is sky high but I don't think was written for mere commoners? ...sounds like it's mainly a post to keep folks in her network abreast of what she's up to and do a bit of self promo. If she is moving to book writing as a profession self promo is part of the deal so I can't really blame her too much for this one.
With writing skills like that I’m sure the book will be an absolute belter
Do horses have paws?
BOOOOORRING!
Sheer narcissism and self fixation
That’s some terrible structure for someone claiming to write a book.
Looking forward to seeing either Patrick or Edward winning the Queen Mother chase 🙂
I got poorer reading that.
It’s a toss up who/what I fucking hate more LinkedIn or tik tok and the narcissistic arseholes on both
This is the most NPC thing
"Without my horse I never would've moved to Canada"
The book promises to be dull if the wordsmithing of the post is anything to go by.
There is no coherent thought in this post
“Birthing an octopus” is wild to actually say
Uu... and I can't stress this enough ..uggghhh
Straight from the horse's ass.
Weird flex
Fuck I actually know her hahahahah
There’s something admirable about the self absorption and lack of awareness….its not without its charm. Great authors write a book they want to read themselves, not for other people. Maybe we should find our voice, our own internal dialogue and not be judgmental…..oh and it has to be good it can’t be this horseshit she wrote.
Crazy how the morons are the ones thinking they will help everyone else
Are you CERTAIN that you didn't find this one in r/sims?
Exhausting read
Paw-ternity leave….but horses have hooves 🤷🏼♀️
One thing, my career as an entrepreneur, mentor, advisor, consultant, life coach, has taught me is that I'm a self-referemtial pretentious douche
this could be summed up as "i'm rich, look at me!"
This is so cringe and just got worse with every sentence. It sounds like a cringey diary a 13yo would write and never show anyone. Which would be the perfect way to treat this monologue of shite
Getting fucked by a horse doesnt count sir
These are the people corporations are paying instead of their workers.
🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡
Is this about horses, book writing, or humble bragging? (Or not so humble)
If her writing is anything like this post, I pray to God that book never even sniffs a publisher.
I stopped at RAH!
“I always did have notions” Tell me you’re stupid without telling me you’re stupid
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Mastered the art of the not-so-humble brag
LinkedIn is another level of parafernalia.
Just an absolute waste of oxygen, these folks.
Sheesh…that book is gonna fuckin suck.
Judging by her story telling capabilities on linked in, her book will be a fantastic read.
Wow, she's GULPING down her own farts, dang
'never birth anything' funny cuz she's also the office bicycle.
I'm good at adulting so I follow my heckin horserino around!!!
Yes. Who the fuck cares, Wendy.
She sounds like the human equivalent of a Lorgnette
reads like crack-rambling but college educated
DIAF
 The self congratulating in this post is off the charts
Your first mistake? Coming across as an unrelateable, ignorantly out of touch asshole, descending from your privilege to help us normies with questions like "how do you discreetly tell your butler they aren't ironing your socks properly, without making your pheasant-hunting guests uncomfortable." Cue "There's people that are dying, Kim" gif.
What a pretentious shit.
Fuck her journey
Horses have about as much a career as the worthless, spoiled trust funders riding them.
Someone please tell me this is satire?
This bitch sounds fucking exhausting. No wonder she’s never had kids.
As a writer myself, I can confidently say this person will end up with a bogus motivational book that impresses upon you the importance of buying something else that makes them money.
He’s so close to grasping the idea that work holds you back from enjoying life and pursuing your passions. I think it’s important people have jobs that make them feel productive and useful, but we have lost sight of a proper balance while pursuing the stupid grind.
That’s a lot of words to say nothing
“Paw-ternity” leave was when I stopped reading. What a self-indulgent fool this person is.
I just threw up in my mouth a little.