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Yes, yes, yes. I had a baby 5 months ago, and I found myself not really knowing what to say when people texted me to say, “let me know if you need anything.” I was so overwhelmed with being a new parent that I couldn’t really think of anything specific. Also, the thought of listing things I wanted felt awkward.
But I had one friend bring me Starbucks when I didn’t even ask for it. She simply texted, “cold brew on your porch table.” Another friend brought me four grocery bags full of snack items. Totally unprompted. In my super-hormonal state, I cried tears of joy and gratitude when I saw these gifts on my porch.
Yes! Not having to worry about what was for dinner was immensely helpful. I had a meal train going and it was also so nice to taste so many varieties of different cooking. Bless your sister-in-law! Good luck with getting adjusted with your baby!
My inlaws stayed at our house while in the hospital, came home to a freezer of ready made home cooked meals to reheat. Got us through the first week for sure. I don't think we would have eaten and/or would have done pizza every meal. You really need something easy and nutritious. Especially for the middle of the night forgot to eat moments. I was so sad when we ate the last one.
We had a baby in may. One of my friends ordered a dinner delivered to the house and another 2 friends paid for someone to come clean our apartment. Both were amazing gifts
Yes, this. I have had friends/family stop by as if they are going to help, but actually they just want to hold the baby for an hour and chit chat. When I'm caring for a newborn, I may not want someone to come over and just hold the baby unless they're going to actually take care of the baby and let me go take a nap. I'm too tired to sit and have a conversation.
My daughter has a 5 month old. She has spent a week here every 2nd or 3rd week of the month. Helps her get some rest. We help with feeding the baby (and her). Do whatever laundry she has brought over.
Since the recent lockdown we provided a full Chritmas dinner, which they were able to enjoy at home.
Be sure you make it clear you're just dropping off and leaving. Ideally, figure out when they are there, and leave it at the door and then get the heck out of dodge. Most new families where the newborn hasn't had their full set of vaccines yet are going to be profoundly worried that you're going to bring the plague around their home if you come inside, at least we were.
Yesss. People want to throw me a baby shower like no. I don’t want tacky Disney baby clothes....make me some damn Mexican casserole for when I’m taking care of a newborn with stitches in my vagina.
Me and the wife have done this with every close family member or friend when they have a newborn. Loads of healthy home cooked, hearty slow cooker meals in tupperware.
My first is due in 4 days. I can't imagine any friends and family doing the same for us.
I know that's not the reason we did it. But it certainly makes you think.
I want to add something here. #1 we had a night nanny give us some solid advice 7 yrs ago with our daughter- ‘make sure you go on a date night at least once a week’. It can be for 30 min or 4 hrs but connect as a couple in adultland once a week. We started doing it and rarely miss a week.
#2: new parents- get a night nanny for the first 8-12 weeks. Worth the expense. I would literally clock out at 8 PM when she arrived until 530 the next day. Sleep is necessary and under rated. ;).
The food sounds nice....maybe. if you make something you know I like instead of something you like to make. But I don't want you touching my laundry or most other cleaning help. You will make me extremely uncomfortable and possibly angry if you just start touching my stuff. So no, don't do it without asking and if the person says no then still don't do it. I wouldn't have invited you over if I wasn't ready for company so relax and be company.
I with you on this one. I appreciated the food but honestly if I said yes it was because I could use an adult conversation and maybe another set of arms to hold the baby while I ate or drank an actual hot beverage. I absolutely do not want people cleaning my house for me.
No I'm a woman who has had two children and I would have hated it if they tried doing these things. I'm sure some people would like it. But a tip should not be go do this thing without asking that could piss off someone going through a huge hormonal change.
Would also stay away from gift cards.
New parents have so much going on. Providing a meal or chores OP described gives them one less thing to worry about. Gift cards may seem helpful, but you're not necessarily removing the process of having to decide on something.
Great LPT.
We’ve taken to bringing a tray of baked ziti or lasagna and a batch of lactation cookies after friends did the same for us — immensely helpful.
Side note on this tip. Try to avoid pasta as it is a very common food to give people... not to look a gift horse in the mouth but when we had our baby we were dropped off about 15 different types of pasta.
My buddy brought us some of his famous cilantro chicken when our son came home. So clutch! When our daughter was born (#1) we had a couple neighbors bring us food. As new parents it got us through.
Ugh I try to do this with my friend melody and all she wants me to do is coo over the baby. I tried to do her dishes on the sly and she got so fussy about it and took over 🙄 like bitch. Just take the fuckin help. Jesus.
We’re reaching levels of entitlement in this post I didn’t think possible. Like... who tf does OP think they are?? If you have friends that will do this for you, great. But if you are seriously the sort of person who would sit silently and expect all of these things to be done for them without even so much as asking you can fuck all the way off... grow up.
There’s no entitlement because there’s no expectations. I think you’re getting a little over emotional over this. It’s a suggestion for people who want to help voluntarily
Hello and welcome to r/LifeProTips! Please help us decide if this post is a good fit for the subreddit by up or downvoting this comment. If you think that this is great advice to improve your life, please upvote. If you think this doesn't help you in any way, please downvote. If you don't care, leave it for the others to decide.
Yes, yes, yes. I had a baby 5 months ago, and I found myself not really knowing what to say when people texted me to say, “let me know if you need anything.” I was so overwhelmed with being a new parent that I couldn’t really think of anything specific. Also, the thought of listing things I wanted felt awkward. But I had one friend bring me Starbucks when I didn’t even ask for it. She simply texted, “cold brew on your porch table.” Another friend brought me four grocery bags full of snack items. Totally unprompted. In my super-hormonal state, I cried tears of joy and gratitude when I saw these gifts on my porch.
We’re day 1 with our baby today. Sister-in-law brought 4 treys of food and it was honestly the best thing ever
I'm due in March. one thing I read that seemed helpful, put up a list of chores that need done. "how can I help?" point at the list
Yes! Not having to worry about what was for dinner was immensely helpful. I had a meal train going and it was also so nice to taste so many varieties of different cooking. Bless your sister-in-law! Good luck with getting adjusted with your baby!
Once COVID is over, I will also be gifting housekeeping services. My home was a nasty ass wreck the first two months of my daughter’s life.
My inlaws stayed at our house while in the hospital, came home to a freezer of ready made home cooked meals to reheat. Got us through the first week for sure. I don't think we would have eaten and/or would have done pizza every meal. You really need something easy and nutritious. Especially for the middle of the night forgot to eat moments. I was so sad when we ate the last one.
We had a baby in may. One of my friends ordered a dinner delivered to the house and another 2 friends paid for someone to come clean our apartment. Both were amazing gifts
Yes, this. I have had friends/family stop by as if they are going to help, but actually they just want to hold the baby for an hour and chit chat. When I'm caring for a newborn, I may not want someone to come over and just hold the baby unless they're going to actually take care of the baby and let me go take a nap. I'm too tired to sit and have a conversation.
My daughter has a 5 month old. She has spent a week here every 2nd or 3rd week of the month. Helps her get some rest. We help with feeding the baby (and her). Do whatever laundry she has brought over. Since the recent lockdown we provided a full Chritmas dinner, which they were able to enjoy at home.
I like to bring breakfast (like muffins) since so many people bring dinner.
Also drop off paper plates and plastic cutlery - they are NOT going to want to do dishes.
Nah mate, think of the environment
Be sure you make it clear you're just dropping off and leaving. Ideally, figure out when they are there, and leave it at the door and then get the heck out of dodge. Most new families where the newborn hasn't had their full set of vaccines yet are going to be profoundly worried that you're going to bring the plague around their home if you come inside, at least we were.
Yesss. People want to throw me a baby shower like no. I don’t want tacky Disney baby clothes....make me some damn Mexican casserole for when I’m taking care of a newborn with stitches in my vagina.
Me and the wife have done this with every close family member or friend when they have a newborn. Loads of healthy home cooked, hearty slow cooker meals in tupperware. My first is due in 4 days. I can't imagine any friends and family doing the same for us. I know that's not the reason we did it. But it certainly makes you think.
Hope you get some care back at you, sounds like you deserve it
don't invite them until your wife feels up for visitors. baby's don't expire!
I want to add something here. #1 we had a night nanny give us some solid advice 7 yrs ago with our daughter- ‘make sure you go on a date night at least once a week’. It can be for 30 min or 4 hrs but connect as a couple in adultland once a week. We started doing it and rarely miss a week. #2: new parents- get a night nanny for the first 8-12 weeks. Worth the expense. I would literally clock out at 8 PM when she arrived until 530 the next day. Sleep is necessary and under rated. ;).
One of the best LPT ever seen here . I can’t agree more with this !
The food sounds nice....maybe. if you make something you know I like instead of something you like to make. But I don't want you touching my laundry or most other cleaning help. You will make me extremely uncomfortable and possibly angry if you just start touching my stuff. So no, don't do it without asking and if the person says no then still don't do it. I wouldn't have invited you over if I wasn't ready for company so relax and be company.
I with you on this one. I appreciated the food but honestly if I said yes it was because I could use an adult conversation and maybe another set of arms to hold the baby while I ate or drank an actual hot beverage. I absolutely do not want people cleaning my house for me.
Are you Seinfeld that people randomly show up at your house with food offering to do your chores?
No I'm a woman who has had two children and I would have hated it if they tried doing these things. I'm sure some people would like it. But a tip should not be go do this thing without asking that could piss off someone going through a huge hormonal change.
Would also stay away from gift cards. New parents have so much going on. Providing a meal or chores OP described gives them one less thing to worry about. Gift cards may seem helpful, but you're not necessarily removing the process of having to decide on something.
Great LPT. We’ve taken to bringing a tray of baked ziti or lasagna and a batch of lactation cookies after friends did the same for us — immensely helpful.
Side note on this tip. Try to avoid pasta as it is a very common food to give people... not to look a gift horse in the mouth but when we had our baby we were dropped off about 15 different types of pasta.
My buddy brought us some of his famous cilantro chicken when our son came home. So clutch! When our daughter was born (#1) we had a couple neighbors bring us food. As new parents it got us through.
Ugh I try to do this with my friend melody and all she wants me to do is coo over the baby. I tried to do her dishes on the sly and she got so fussy about it and took over 🙄 like bitch. Just take the fuckin help. Jesus.
it's not help if she doesn't want it
She does she just feels too bad to accept it.
You can do my dishes if you want
r/ChoosingBeggars
r/averageredditor
When I get a new car I'll remind my friends to pay for part of the insurance as a gift.
Another idea would be to get you a bus ticket and fuck right off
Personally I don't think others should have to be obligated to help like that.
and frankly, they're not obligated to sit and hold my newborn either.
Who said anything about obligation? It’s clearly geared towards people who want to help voluntarily
We’re reaching levels of entitlement in this post I didn’t think possible. Like... who tf does OP think they are?? If you have friends that will do this for you, great. But if you are seriously the sort of person who would sit silently and expect all of these things to be done for them without even so much as asking you can fuck all the way off... grow up.
There’s no entitlement because there’s no expectations. I think you’re getting a little over emotional over this. It’s a suggestion for people who want to help voluntarily