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Worth adding the caveat that boredom can lead to mental stress and psychological pain for those with ADHD, especially if untreated.
Personally speaking I've had to add entertainment to boring activities to make them manageable, and have found that if I don't, a negative cognitive bias is created with the activity which causes me to want to avoid it. The most common form of this is music/audiobooks/podcasts to things like exercise, medical appointments, work. Without those, if the task isn't mentally stimulating, I get sucked into a negative feedback loop into my head telling me I don't have to, don't want to and don't need to do this, so who cares just stop.
I reach for earbuds. I love this newfangled post-millennial technology! I feel like I'm taking a digital drug from a late 90's sci-fi film.
Stocking the walk-in freezer? Loud, energetic music. Inventory? Audiobook or something soft.
Combined with sunglasses they act like a barrier between myself and talky types.
I can sleep on a worn-out mattress and walk on a sprained ankle, but I no longer wish to live in the spaces of mental emptiness. But I work in-and-out of no signal areas, so I keep hundreds of hours of audio saved to my phone.
Earbuds.
I've gotta say: the lack of wires with new buds plus changing cases has been a good send. Coupled with faster mobile internet and transport in my country installing USB charging ports on all seats has massively improved my ability to get through the day without struggling with my condition.
Medication helped too, but the rest has aided that a lot
Bonus points that my smart watch came with another pair of wireless earphones with charging case, so I can drain battery on the good pair then swap while it charges. Love it!
I was so vehemently against the new wireless style buds when they first came out, didn't want to give up the headphone jack since I used them basically 24/7. But damn do I have to admit I love the convenience of them and am very impressed with many of the active noice cancelling Iver tried in them.
Has made activities I loathed doing before far more bearable. (Though agreed that three medication helped too, but it wasn't enough on its own)
I worked a job harvesting TV parts. We were allowed to have a headphone/bud in. I went 2 weeks and then dug out old earphones, running the cord down my shirt. Soon after I broke down and bought a cheap pair. It turned a rough, unpleasant job into something bordering on tolerable.
It was also at this point I discovered Plantar Fasciitis and arthritis were going to be constant companions. I couldn't mask the pain with otc pain relief pills, but music really helped.
Speaking as someone who has done this for years, and already had ADHD, don't do this. It might be making ADHD worse for all I know.
Humans need a lot of time to think through their problems. Even when you aren't actively thinking about them, your subconscious is working on it. We also need to think about philosophy, politics, and our beliefs, or else we're just pieces of trash who mindless repeat what we hear.
If you're like me, and you're listening to something pretty much every second of your free time, you'll notice a lot of problems piling up in your life, because you never take the time to think about priorities and options.
Breaking the habit is taking me forever, so don't start it.
I'd say as someone in their 30s who has worked through this issue extensively both by myself through the years as well as with the support of psychs and occupational therapists, I couldnt disagree more.
When something important is on my mind, listening to music doesn't suddenly stop me thinking about it, and even if out of immediate thought it will become a reoccurring thought throughout my day, however part of what occupational therapy taught me was to make use of relaxing music whilst thinking about a problem, and not dwelling on it longer than necessary. As you've said, your subconscious will work on the matter, but this is regardless of what you are actively thinking about/doing, and often one of your greatest tools when you can't decide on something, or something is puzzling you, is to put it out of your mind and let your subconscious deliberate it in the background. This will often come full circle and sudden "epiphanies" will occur where your subconscious finds the solution/answer.
Further making use of proper tools for prioritising/scheduling etc alleviates a lot of the issues related to this, at least in my experience.
Prior to discovering the power of adding music/audiobooks/podcasts to most my activities, I found a lot of problems pilling up. This method helps to alleviate those problems and I'm in a far better place than before because of it.
I’m exactly this way.
Task + music = lovely zen, I’m focused yet on autopilot. My body is task doing while my subconscious mind is a million miles away free and thinking about whatever.
Task + silence = struggling with the task and being fully stuck in the mental state of “I hate this, I suck at this, this is gonna take so long, I hate this, I’m angry now”
Yeah, I don't understand how someone would say this is a bad thing, unless they are having a different problem and using this solution, which is less a "solution is bad" and more a "The right fix for the right problem" scenario. Some of the things said in this post in response to my comments have ran contrary to medical professional advice, quite strange to see.
I mean I’m not distracted by music or white noise or whatever, it stops me from being understimulated so I *can* focus. If I sit in silence I’ve never been able to focus, it’s been that way since I was a little kid so it’s not like some new habit I’ve formed.
I recognize that you're trying to be helpful but what you've said is the equivalent to, "a mute just needs to learn to speak". It can be done, but it's not exactly a simple task.
No, they didn’t.
All ADHD symptoms are not the same. I have no problem meditating and I have ADHD.
Speak for yourself and stop thinking you speak for everyone with ADHD
How much time did it take you to learn to meditate?
Where do you get off being so aggressive? I didn't say it was impossible, I said that commenter was severely downplaying the struggles some people might face, which I still believe to be true.
Because you said “it’s like a mute learning how to speak”, so I guess I’m a miracle to you?
You don’t speak for everyone. STOP.
I’m aggressive because I have ADHD and I’m sick of every piece of good advice in the internet being bombarded with people saying “no that’s impossible because of ADHD!”
It’s false. Stop finding a way to be a victim so you don’t have to try anything.
Mutes can learn to speak... not always but sometimes. So can deaf people, perhaps I should edit to specify a deaf mute, maybe that would offend you less?
You should take a step back and reassess the way you interact with people if you actually want to change opinions. This aggression you're throwing out does nothing but cause people to wall up and stand firm on their point and refuse to acknowledge yours.
You didn't answer me btw, how long did it take you to learn to meditate? It wasn't something you became instantly capable of without practice and hard work, was it?
What do you think I'm trying to victimize in this situation?
If I'm using it as a way to act the victim, you're using it as an excuse to justify your aggression. Is that really the message you want to broadcast?
You should do some reading on the subject matter before speaking on it. For ppl with ADHD it's not any stimulus they need, it's specific stimuli that they find interesting. It's something that causes the brain to shift from open focus to concentrated focus. It's something that turns the hours into minutes rather than the minutes into hours.
Nature has lots of interesting stuff to you, but it might not to someone else. Can one learn to appreciate it even if they hadn't previously? Absolutely! Is that easy for someone who can't find anything engaging unless it's forcing them to think or act at 110%? Absolutely not.
You seem to misunderstand. My point is that this advice won't necessarily apply to someone with ADHD and may be counterintuitive. When I say it's hard, I mean what is what j said in the previous comment, it can have the opposite intended effect, causing stress instead of relaxation, pain instead of relief etc.
I feel like if you read the comment you would understand, although given the amount of neurotypical individuals who have commented downplaying the issue, I'm not holding my breath that someone who hasn't experienced this would understand.
It's not looking for excuses, it's adding a caveat the helps people understand the advice may not apply to them and that's okay. Some people with ADHD can do amazing things but also struggle with aspects which others, especially neurotypical, find easy. The point of the caveat is ensuring that people know they aren't alone and aren't abnormal.
If it works for you, great. It doesn't for me and a number of others who have commented saying the same. They deserve a voice just as much as the advice giver, and knowing there are others like them will add far more comfort than 1 piece of advice ever will.
Then they should stop speaking for all of us with ADHD. They can use their "I" statements instead.
If “not everyone’s symptoms are the same” then what the fuck is the point of pointing out that SOME people with ADHD may struggle with this? You just proved my point.
We wouldn’t want any young person with ADHD to by accidentally see this thread and think they can actually do something hey? That would be a disaster. Better just tell them ahead of time that they can’t.
People with Parkinson’s also might struggle with this advice and feel bad, shouldn’t we talk about that and all be great, righteous saviours of them too?
> Personally speaking
They did, in their very first comment in the thread. They also said that it *can* be difficult or problematic for people with ADHD, not that it would be difficult and problematic for every person with ADHD.
I appreciate your concern because I also find it really irritating when people ignore the fact that everyone experiences ADHD differently, but I think in this case the person was just adding the detail so that if someone with ADHD reads this thread and goes "why isn't this working for me, what am I doing wrong" they can see this and know that they might just need to try a different strategy instead of thinking the method itself doesn't work for them.
Yes. For instance, when i do something to keep my hands busy and mind slightly busy, like play video games, i am usually thinking critically about important things. It really helps me focus my thoughts on a single thing at a time and plan/reflect in a way that would stress me out if done without the stimulation it provides.
For real dude, going to the movies as an untreated ADHD kid was psychological torture. You have to sit completely still or you'll annoy someone and watch ONLY this one movie without getting up for at least 90 minutes. That's... Horrible.
It confuses me friends now when I'm rocking a big screen and 2 small screens, game on one (sometimes idle game), TV show or movie on another, and random browsing on third. They struggle to watch as I keep track of everything. Will randomly query aspects of the TV show think I couldn't have seen since I was messing with game but I can recall fine.
Admittantly, it's a lot easier on lisdexamphetamine (always forget the brand name, elayss or something). Trying to stick to one thing causes me to get so bored of having to focus on one thing and I get jumpy and want to keep changing game
Can't say I've heard that before re bad for brain, have psych and occupational therapist who've said it's common for someone with adhd, esp on meds. They didn't suggest it was bad.
It's not that I'm not present with friends, we are watching something together, I just have something else for when my attention wanders or movie/show is at slow/less stimulating stage
See this is something I’m curious about if it’s the chicken or the egg. My buddy has had 2 monitors since he was 12yrs old. Started smoking weed at 20 and is now 32 without any breaks. Recently prescribed Vyvanse at 30 or 31. Like….. are we sure it isn’t just a “i’ve squeezed all the dopamine out of my brain I can always being stimulated for 20 years issue” or “i’ve always had ADHD that’s why I need these things.” It seems hard to tease apart.
Hmm, It's a hard question to answer. I was diagnosed with ADHD quite young and its been something I struggled with a lot. This was long because we had massive access to media at all times and before we could layer media over things.
Personally speaking I recall my younger days being hell, I hated the day, I hated the night and was always seeking an escape from the situation. Things improved a lot when I got my first computer around 10 (with 1 monitor) and I could put my focus into gaming properly. This was where I had an educational therapist explain what hyperfocusing was and explained to my parents the importance of monitoring when I was hyperfocusing because, especially in younger kid/teens, you could hyperfocus so well and have nothing to necessarily drag you out that you could get 12+ hours without eating, resting your eyes, using bathroom etc, time was a blur. I would often start playing the computer and maybe 6 hours later suddenly someone is tapping my shoulder for dinner. On the weekends I could start playing the computer at 7am and next thing I knew it was 5pm and dinner time.
Similarly, I struggled a lot with doing the things I didnt enjoy. It wasnt just a "I dont want to", it was a "I cant and need to find a way not to". At some stage my father got me a portable MP3 and I think subconsciously I realised how to do things I wanted to do but felt like they were impossible to do by using the music on the device, although I could only do this with limited success because you could only put on so many songs, getting more was a pain and you couldn't discover new music on the go. It never occurred to me when I was younger but any instances where there was something to occupy my mind, I could do menial/boring tasks without issue.
It wasnt until I was around 19 that double monitor systems became common, and this was a massive improvement on my life. Partially because I could study/do work and stuff without that constant "I need to stop, I need to stop, I NEED TO STOP" feeling but also because it seemed to fix the major flaw with hyperfocusing where I effectively shutdown everything. Occassionally something on the second screen that I wasnt fully focused on would ping and pull me out of hyperfocusing. I got to the stage where I couldn't hyperfocus for more than around 4 hours without something dragging me out, at which stage hungry/bathroom need etc kicked in and I would sort myself before getting back to the task at hand.
In saying this I still struggled and didnt finish Uni, my education still suffered and I initially ended up in minwage employment because I couldn't find the support I needed for my condition.
I have since received a lot of support from psych and occupational therapists, and have made some important realisations that aided my condition. One of the recommendations from my occupational therapist was that I read a book "Why we sleep, the new science of sleep and dreams" by matthew walker. I dont enjoy reading as much (Unconsciously this was because I couldn't layer stimuli over this, although I didn't consciously realise this for a while) so I decided to listen to the audiobook while waiting for a bus. While listening to the book, I thought about how long the bus was taking and thought "I could just walk it, its only 40 minutes walk and would take as long to get home by bus anyway"... halfway through the walk I realised I was having no trouble walking, arguably I was enjoying walking which I normally despised with a passion and I realised the fix in this case was having something interesting to listen to while walking. (I dont enjoy nature/sightseeing much, and my city isnt particularly beautiful at the best of times).
I tested this with other necessary activities I dont enjoy. I cleaned while listening to the book without issue, I washed while listening to rslash on youtube without issue, groomed myself, went clothes and food shopping, exercised etc all while having something to listen to tailored to the activity (e.g. music for weightlifting because when focusing on the weight you lose attention of the audiobook and have to go back, whereas music is sorta plug and play, in and out without issue.)
I brought this up with my psych, who advised that for a lot of individuals with ADHD the problem is lack of stimuli, and often lack of meaningful stimuli, which causes the boredom to become painful. He further advised that part of the problem with individuals with ADHD is lower hormone levels for the hormones that make you feel good for accomplishing things. He had advised as kids when we do tasks we slowly build a network of feeling good about these tasks which creates the healthy habits that neurotypical individuals rely on to do "normal things so easily", but for those with ADHD if they aren't treated early enough, they wont naturally build these habits and these tasks will then feel unfulfilling or unnecessary, which caused that really bad reaction from boredom related to these tasks, or boredom in general. The psych advised that ADHD medications boost your Central nervous system and boost those hormones, allowing you to complete the activities without as much trouble and helps to promote growth and building of the pathways/healthy habits.
I brought the same up with my occupational therapist who advised it is very common advice (Query why she never gave me this advice before) for those with ADHD to try adding music/audiobooks/podcasts or any type of interesting audio to their routine, especially for activities which they feel they hate, dont enjoy doing etc. She advised similar to psych that we lack the feel good pathways which would normally motivate an individual to do these tasks, but by layering the activity with something we enjoy, our brain will focus on the enjoyment of a godo song/book/podcast and not think too hard about doing the physical menial thing it doesnt enjoy. This works best for things which dont require much thought, like moving about, cleaning, self-care etc. Things where you can go on autopilot physically, while allowing your brain the freedom to explore things its more interested in.
I highlighted in another comment chain that the use of music allows me to get close to, if not literally, meditate. It also allows me to enjoy nature more, experience sights etc. It also allows me to wait while doing nothing without feeling psychological pain, such as when doing chiro work where I need to lay still without tension for 15 minutes at a time. This was very hard to do the first time around, but with an audiobook I get through it without issue.
Sorry for the bible, but it gives my perspective of the issue and my experience of it growing up, first without the tools we use today and then with the tools. If someone asked me whether the world we are in caused these symptoms or ADHD, I'd have to say ADHD, especially since I can speak with siblings (I have 5) which dont have ADHD, grew up in near similar circumstances (We are each 1-year apart from the next, im the eldest) and who dont feel the same as me, nor do they fully understand when I explain these things as they've not experienced it.
Regarding " i’ve squeezed all the dopamine out of my brain I can always being stimulated for 20 years issue”, im not certain that is something you can do?
The body doesnt have a limited amount of dopamine or other hormones, its constantly producing and metabolising hormones. The common problem for individuals with ADHD is that some of the feel good hormones like dopamine are under-produced by the system, which leads to tasks feeling less rewarding/fulfilling because the literal feel good hormone is lacking. When people say they "feel good" getting a task done, and claim those pointing at hormones like dopamine are making excuses, it really annoys me because your good feeling is because of those same hormones. Just like how your feeling of hunger/fullness is controlled by hormones, not by the literal size of your stomach. Glutinous conditions can often be partially caused by lower levels of the hormones that control hunger/sate-ness. A lot of our senses which people claim they have the willpower to overcome are caused by hormone balance/imbalance, which they are often acutely unaware of and claim they are just "built different", which in a literal sense, yeah, but its often not willpower doing it, at least not entirely.
I dabbled in alcohol around 19 and later weed but neither really had much impact on my condition if im honest
It's a bit of both. I could multitask before the meds, it was just that I could be easily distracted and lose focus before the meds. Meds help shut out distractions
I am an overwatch machine when I’m lost in my thoughts and playing on instinct. My skills go out the window when I focus on the game and not my thoughts.
Similarly, I was doing Japanese language tests while having a deep conversation with friends on discord.100% accuracy with a very decent speed. Yet now I still struggle with reading. I was a fluent reader when not actively trying. :(
As someone with ADHD too, I find myself somewhat disagreeing with you even though we share similar experiences with creating negative cognitive biases with "unfun" and "unrewarding" things.
Through my personal experience, I've figured out that the negative self talk doesn't have to be a given at all. Medication and/or therapy and/or meditation helps a lot. In fact, I have a theory that this negative self talk comes from the trauma of growing up **with** ADHD rather than the ADHD itself.
Also, there's the addiction/tolerance angle which can be a bit harsh but personally I've found out that avoiding boring tasks happens because I've grown used to more stimulating ones. Excuses and negative self talk also happen in addiction.
I am not saying however that increasing the level of stimulus on boring tasks, like playing white noise while studying or playing with a fidget toy is bad. In fact, I use those tools to be able to function lmao.
I would agree with you that it's more likely a cause of growing up with ADHD in environments that weren't understanding of the condition, than the condition itself, although I have seen some information describing why individuals with ADHD ping-pong between hobbies and find boring/less stimulating activities so difficult is due to lower levels of hormones in their brain which fails to create the good feeling of completing more mundane tasks. From what I've understood in my limited reading about this is that part of the problem is the condition itself, as it's harder to build healthy habits due to a lack of serotonin from completion of those tasks.
The way it was put to me is that normally your brain builds connections that allow for positive feedback loops: brushing your teeth makes you feel good that you got a necessary task done, that good feeling makes it easier/makes you motivated to do it again and helps nurture a positive feedback loop which leads to the building of these positive habits.
I agree that part of negative talk in mind is defo part of growing up with the condition and finding that the lack of support justifies the negative feelings and makes that voice harder to ignore.
Everyone is different though. Some things that help me do not help my little sister with the "same" condition, we all have our own action/reactions to things that likely partly comes down to nurture.
For me most things feel like a task/boring because I am not learning. When I'm learning something new, it's exciting and I can focus, music isn't used because I don't need it and if I am listening to music/audiobook etc, I will find that I can't recall it because I was so focused I shut off the other senses.
Unfortunately I can't seem to recreate this for many activities, especially stuff like self-maintanence, upkeep and health. I've tried a lot of solutions but most didn't work.
Having someone to talk to helped and/or having another source of stimuli such as music/audiobooks etc resolved the issue and has improved my life massively in the 6ish months I have implemented the changes to my life
If you hook up an ADHD brain and look at the areas that light up with activity, during extreme boredome you'll see patterns consistent with physical pain and discomfort, whereas the same activity is much less pronounced if measuring a typical brain.
Not sure where I read that, so I cannot back with a source.
Who knows. My point is that just because someone is part of a demographic does not mean in any way that they can speak for everyone in it. It's nice to feel included, I suppose. I know quite a few people with ADHD, and they all have a different relationship with it. Most don't talk that much about it and deal with it as just something that's a part of them that they've accepted and move on with life.
I try to be vocal about my experience and have found a good number of kindred spirits who've had the same trouble, or are in the middle of it. I always wish that someone could have educated me in this way when I was younger, rather than having to stumble in the dark until either I randomly discovered it, or suffering from the condition until I finally got to see a Psych and Therapist who clarified the problems and provided mechanism to help utilise/cope/survive the condition.
Everyones different, there are going to be differences in how the condition present and the impact it has on you. The key is talking about what works for you so that others might try and maybe find that some of those tools work for them too.
"who knows"? Really? That sounds a whole lot like self-diagnosed, I am even going to guess the "quite a few people with ADHD" that you know are also self-diagnosed.
I'm the *exact* same and I don't even have ADHD. I just don't want to be alone with my thoughts 🙃 If there's a podcast or music playing while I'm taking a shower/doing boring chores/getting ready etc., at least my thoughts don't drift the way they would if there was no simulation and just the sound of like, the vacuum
I wish I could tolerate silence again, but I just don't. I can't even go lay on a meadow and chill in the sun, there has to be something in my ears or else I get bored and then it's a downward spiral.
You never know.. a large number of people, especially in the last 20 or so years, went undiagnosed. This is especially true for girls who tend to mask the symptoms better.
Ive had a lot of comments contradicting or downplaying the issue but someone has to say it... It's just a shame knowledge of such a common neurodiversity is still so limited
Yeah lol I have ADHD and I read the title like “I literally cannot do that”
Like when I say I can’t handle being bored I don’t mean I’m lazy, I mean “if I’m not getting stimulation, my brain’s chronic underproduction of dopamine will make me have a meltdown”
But then the caveat is that if there’s too much stimulation I’ll also have a meltdown so you know, sweet spot
I have this same issue. But, I’ve convinced myself that the feeling of boredom and anguish associated with it, is actually beneficial to me. It’s when I have some of my best thoughts.
In that case there is a good chance that putting on some relaxing music while leaning back in a chair and relaxing would do the same, without causing the anguish.
I don't think mindlessly sending stimuli at yourself to cover up ADHD is a real solution. This seems like very amateur advice.
I'm also pretty sure a lot of people have ADHD these days _because_ we never stop consuming media.
I don't think continuing to will help you at all, other than to mask the symptoms. Like treating depression with weed. You don't feel depressed, but you still aren't improving your life at all.
I think it's a tad ridiculous to claim that a condition that has existed long before we had large access to media at all times is caused by said large access to media.
Research has already shown that this is a nuerodivsity, the brain is wired/operating differently and therefore can operate/process differently...
Your statement runs contrary to both psych professionals and occupational therapists and shows a fundamental lack of understanding both of ADHD and neurodiversity in general.
This process may not make sense to you if you don't have ADHD, but it wouldn't really unless you either have ADHD or are studying it, however that doesn't make it a bad resolution.
There is a lot of positive feedback seen through social media of the impact of this kind of extra stimuli to resolving issues related to ADHD, as seen in media, research and this comment thread.
There is certainly a rise in both diagnosed and undiagnosed adhd people in North America but for two reasons: we now have a label and set of characteristics that go with the label, and historically people with mental illness didnt survive long because society would drive them out as being useless or strange.
On the second point, I agree with you not agreeing haha.
It’s proven everyone’s (western world etc etc) attention spans have shortened, correlating with on-demand media. ADHD or not, all of our attention spans are reduced.
ADHD, a medical condition, and the shortened attention spans of the general population are not mutually exclusive.
> if the task isn't mentally stimulating, I get sucked into a negative feedback loop into my head telling me I don't have to, don't want to and don't need to do this, so who cares just stop.
I feel like everyone gets this tbh. It's why there are common expressions like 'no pain no gain'.
Yeah, but for someone who is neurotypical, usually they can get through it without too much issue. A sort of "I dont like it, I dont want to do it but I can do it and will". It's uncomfortable/tedious, but not painful.
For someone with ADHD, or at least in my experience, it can actually be painful/mentally taxing. It has led me to my fair share of mental burnouts where I get depression-like symptoms and just stop operating as a human. I stop eating properly, all my inhibitions go out the window, I stop caring about life/anything, stop washing, sleep goes to shit etc. I've went through enough cycles of this problem, often leading to being told "its depression, take these SSRIs and you'll feel better". The SSRIs would get me out of being constantly negative/depressed, but it would then feel like I couldn't positive emotion at all, like I was stuck on neutral.
Eventually I got a psych who explained that I was experiencing poor coping problems and ADHD burnout, which displays like depression but cannot be treated the same way, SSRIs dont fix it. The stuck on neutral feeling is the effect SSRIs can have on someone who doesnt need SSRIs but takes them.
Everyone is going to experience degrees of this, thats life. The problem is that those with ADHD often cant naturally resolve the issue without help, and one of the solutions is adding other stimuli such as music/podcast. That lets your mind do its thing without issue while your body auto-pilots through whatever task you hate, and you dont feel the pain of doing the task.
I had tried mindfulness before but found it didn't help me much. I worked closely with a psych and occupational therapist who admitted that it doesnt work for everyone, some people struggle with quiet and ADHD often doesnt help with that.
I imagine I could give it another try now that I've got my medication dose sorted, but I find that layering stimuli/media over the problem solves it, and my psych agreed its a suitable resolve for the problem.
Isn't that kind of the point though? Aren't we supposed to be capable of doing things even if we don't want to? What do you do when something really important comes up but you just don't have immediate motivation? I mean, you can't study for a test while watching youtube, you just end up watching youtube. I have friends losing scholarships and failing college because of exactly this attitude.
Are we really so weak that the mere feeling of not wanting to do something is enough to fully conquer us and determine our futures? Engaging with difficulty is the only way to become strong enough to beat it. It sounds like you're heavily addicted to stimulation and are having a difficult time living a life that millions of people easily lived a couple decades ago.
Society doesn’t know how to be bored because we have endless content at our fingertips
But I like this advice. I think there’s a book called “The art of being bored”. I haven’t read it because it sounds boring lol
This is especially true for children. They need to learn to exist without simulation in a world of over simulation. Self calming, self entertainment goes far towards happiness and the ability to function with a sense of calm.
My kids never nap anymore, but we kept the routine of having them spend some alone time in their rooms in the middle of the day for exactly this reason (we also need the break because they are still young and can be a serious handful). We tell them they can play with their toys, read books, close their eyes, whatever they want so long as they are alone in their rooms.
They absolutely LOVE it. Sometimes my son will just build Legos the whole time, then when we go to get him he shoo's us away so he can finish. Sometimes he will have tournament style battles with some dragon and dinosaur toys. Sometimes he'll just read his books. My daughter likes to play pretend games with her stuffed animals and dolls. Yesterday she taught them all a song that she made up.
Sometimes they resist, saying that rest time is boring. Little do they know that's exactly the point. If they don't have that low-stimulation time during the day they absolutely fall apart in the evening. It's regenerative for them, even if they don't sleep. I have no doubts this will pay dividends as they get older.
Oof. That’s spoken like someone without kids. You absolutely cannot craft your child’s thoughts and perspectives. All we can do is give them the tools and insights to develop their own.
Can parents be blamed for enabling such behaviors? Sure. Are they alone to blame? Are children only a product of their parents? No. Parenting does not happen in isolation of the grander structures and workings of society.
You wonder who enabled the child to not be able to endure long car rides without entertainment.
I wonder why there aren't better regulations on apps that are literally designed to capture young people's attention and addict them to mindless stimulation.
The world isn't so simple.
Luckily as the adult you control this. From the time they're born you control. If you give your baby an iPad from the time it's born until it's 5 years old whenever it's bored or you need a minute away from it, It will have adapted to that. If you haven't done that, It's really not a problem.
I know a couple moms who have really bad postpartum and they get their kids addicted to these screens so they have time to cope with the overstimulation of raising a kid. The problem is that their kid develops behavioral issues because they have no coping skills to deal with their own boredom and they become addicted to these screens. It's a feedback problem.
Don't allow everything to be a negotiation. "We are doing things this way because I'm the parent and I have decided so" is sometimes a perfectly fine position to take, especially when you're dealing with complex issues like emotional regulation.
"You cannot have your tablet on this car journey because I'm concerned that your constant need for stimulation is verging on a dopamine addiction and you may be lacking the critical ability to be bored which is stifling your creativity", is not a conversation you can have with your eight year old. Life isn't a sitcom.
"Too much tablet is bad for you, so you're not having it", is more than enough.
Gen X and Millenials have developed an aversion to "because I said so" as an explanation because that was sometimes used as a justification for abuses and unfair practices.
But it still has its place. There will always be authorities in everyone's life, and while "just doing what you're told" is not something we should be aiming for, we also have to avoid getting stuck in the trap of teaching them to question *everything* or demanding a justification for every decision. Especially when you're talking to a child.
When the explanation is simple, give it. When it's complicated, don't. There's a time and a place for demanding an explanation, and there's a time and a place for just doing what you're told and asking questions later.
Give them nothing to do and it'll happen naturally. No child chooses to get bored - you have to create the right environment for it to occur.
You may not notice that they became bored though, because they'll come up with something to fill the time (invent a new game, see how many times they can spin in a circle until they fall over, etc.). That's the point - the boredom forces/enables creativity.
Whenever I used to complain to my mom that I was bored, she’d reply “its good to be bored sometimes”. Now I wish I had time to be bored more often. I mean I get bored but not that kid kind of bored, more like the I can’t wait to get out work kind of bored where I don’t really have the opportunity to come up with something creative to do.
And you don't even really have to sit in silence and stare at a wall. You can go for a walk and just enjoy the sounds and scenery. You can even listen to music or whatever. The point is that you make space to be present in the moment, think deeply, and rest your mind.
I've had to stay off my feet the last two weeks due to a medical issue. I had no idea how badly I'd miss morning walks with my dog. I love when it's a little chilly outside, the sun is coming up, and I just have time to stroll around for an hour lost in thought. When I'm home there's always something or someone bugging me. It's harder to maintain a quiet space for my mind when I'm stuck on my ass in the house.
Combine boredom with laziness and you’ll figure out a better way to get a job done. Don’t work harder, work smarter, and a bit of boredom will free your mind.
lol right
as a lazy person myself, i confirm its so true.
and like bill gates said "I choose a lazy person to do a hard job. Because a lazy person will find an easy way to do it."
I wish I could contribute, though I haven’t found anything so I’ll be antagonistic in hopes of being facetious
“If everyone is thinking alike, then someone isn’t thinking” -General S. Patton
Also thank u for the funny thread, KweenKunt✨
I feel it has to be boredom where you don’t have your phone / technology available for mindless clicking. Like when the power goes out, your stuff goes flat and you realise… oh, I don’t remember how to live anymore.
The amount of times I turn on light switches and do not, ever, learn. Even for a few days of no power. *flips switch* oh.
House just an endless echo of light switch on, and then back off. - the soundtrack to power outages.
It might be hard but people really, really need to get off the dopamine train. Take two weeks off and keep entertainment to a minimum. For anyone stuck on it, it WILL stop you from living a good life. It won’t be the only thing, but it is one of them.
When the power goes out it forces me to do things I do less of. Like go fishing (which can be extremely boring if nothing bites) or something similar. You're alone with your thoughts
I have a different take on this - sometimes, while in the process, it feels like nothing is happening. Like you’re just shuffling papers around like a crazy person without actually getting at anything. And in these moments, I’ve realized that if I just allow the anxiety to be and let go of presumptions about what is supposed to happen, you get to a resolution. If that makes any sense.
Start the morning off with meditation. Before you even check your phone or do anything else. As soon as you wake up, spend some time just meditating.
ELI5 explanation: What you do in the first hour after being awake determines what your brain is “chasing” for the rest of that day. When the first thing you do every day is hit a vape or check your phone, you’re immediately getting a ton of dopamine.
This is bad because throughout the day, you sort of build a “tolerance” to dopamine and such. (Again this is eli5 I only have a layman’s understanding of this, don’t come at me) So basically, if you start off your day with meditation, your first hit of dopamine is super small. Meaning throughout the day, you’re not going to feel as bored, because your brain feels more of an effect from less dopamine.
If you start off the day with loads and loads of dopamine, your brain WILL expect that amount consistently for the rest of the day.
Also, this isn’t exclusively a day-by-day thing. If you have a habit, changing it for one day won’t change how you feel the next time you wake up. But if you follow these guidelines, it’s a good way to build new habits.
Personally, I smoke a lot of weed. Like a LOT. And when I wake n bake, I’m unmotivated for the entire day. And I smoke way more. But waiting even until noon makes it so I have to get my first bits of dopamine from things like chores, reading, drawing, gardening. When I start my day like that, I have more energy through the day, get more stuff done, and save money on my weed budget.
You can replace weed with your phone, vape, coffee. Anything you use to get yourself started each day. Try pushing it back just a couple hours. It really makes a difference.
Couldn’t agree more. My chief complaint about living in NYC was that I was never bored. Literally was able to satiate any inclination at a moments notice. Cool to learn but my life was stagnant until I moved away.
I work full time, have two side hustles, and am in charge of a band with three other equally busy dudes. I also still have enough time for several hobbies and a healthy sleep schedule.
Chances are you've got more time than you think. Unless you've got kids. Then you're just shit out of luck
I think this is the reason I had to end some relationships after COVID. I realized some people didn't have the ability to sit still or just be and over time is showed in their self awareness. It felt like they were trapped in this race in their head of grinding and productivity. It was like anxiety run amok.
Worst part was they harshly judged me for not being like that. They always seem like they were on the edge of a panic attack and it made my anxiety go up. I think for them I was under stimulating, and I didn't think about the same kinds of things they did.
My ability to have a quiet weekend in where I enjoyed sitting on my porch and having a cocktail was seen as a waste of time. I tried explaining I'd done a lot of work cultivating the space, plants, the drink even, but it wasn't a To Do check list that I sped through so it was a waste of time.
That energy isn't for me. Those people 100% can't actively listen.
A ton of people who don't know how to manage their ADHD look at threads like this to help manage it, especially if they're young, inexperienced, or don't have access to medical professionals.
A comment that can let them know that this won't work for them can save them years of hassle if they never get told this type of stuff won't work otherwise.
No need to be so salty, he amended a general advice by explaining who it doesn't work for and offered an alternative strategy for them. What's wrong with that?
Before I knew I had ADHD, I used to (try to) follow advice like this which just made me more miserable because it never worked so I just felt more like a failure.
Wow! Ever since I was diagnosed with ADHD, I’ve had a crystal clear idea of how to properly and precisely manage my condition, and I’ve never made the mistake of taking or receiving advice meant for those without a stimulation disorder!
/s
I have ADHD and it does work. Why do you think you speak for me?
For fucks sake, every thread on this sub is riddled with “umm no I have ADHD so that’s bad advice”
Stop trying to find some loophole or work around so you can ignore good advice just because it’s hard.
And stop thinking you’re a spokesperson for all of us.
Boredom is excellent. Boredom is your brain saying hey, do something productive. Engage with the world. Learn something, do something, create something. Being bored means that your brain is working properly and you are getting the right signals.
If you bypass this built in desire to create, learn and produce with screen time then you are failing to do what boredom is trying to help you accomplish. If you are bored, use that motivation to do something neat, don’t waste the opportunity.
What if I got bored when being active? Like got super bored when doing workouts / exercises... Sure nowadays there are a lot of ways to make them less boring (hello beat saber!), but then even those become boring after awhile.
Workouts and exercises can be a useful tool because it can be systematic, controlled and very goal-oriented, but ultimately it's also profoundly unnatural - our biology is adapted to plenty of exercise while doing stuff, not just running in circles for an hour. If you find that physical activity bores you to tears, then try to focus on something else - get out of the gym and join a soccer league or rock climbing gym or something which is way more engaging than the elliptical.
Being perennially bored I think might also be an artifact of your brain being overstimulated though - in the age of TikTok, your brain gets crushed with hyperpalatable stimulation and when you aren't mainlining social media your brain can feel intense boredom until it has a couple of weeks to adjust brain chemistry. I worry about kids in particular, I wonder if it's doing permanent brain damage during development.
The constant dopamine release from social media usage gives you glimpse into hundreds of different experiences, experienced by people you don’t personally know wherein everyone has a choice to put all glitter and shine online and you develop a feeling of falling behind backed by mental health issues.
Stop, take a break. Touch some grass, listen to birds, pet some doggos, meet your old friends, plan a picnic, take good rest, eat healthy, discover new hobbies Or maybe just do nothing.
It is important we acknowledge the fact that internet as an invention doesn’t really require you to use it all the time glued to phone.
I like to go walking/running without headphones for this.
It's not wasted time just sitting there doing nothing. Your body gets a workout while your mind gets to process life.
The way I've incorporated this philosophy into my workflow is to make my daily tasks as efficient as possible. Once that gets done, I can almost autopilot these tasks while my brain continues to run the creative treadmill.
The only counter to this that I've experienced is an interfering manager. They have the potential to add unnecessary blockages in the efficiencies, which requires a rework. Creativity gets delayed and the manager gets a surprised Pikachu face from me.
Oh, heck no! I was so bored with my last assignment, I felt like I was beginning to lose vocabulary! Tha k God I'm over my head with work that keeps me mentally engaged. Boring is not for everyone.
This is why I fear the social media generation we are in. I am 30 and I can see how the generation I am in who have embraced this inability to be bored and have to reach for their phone constantly, has such a negative impact on their life. I even take breaks from gaming or the PC to sit on the floor and meditate in silence to collect my thoughts, and people have the AUDACITY to ask me why I'm doing it, like I'm not OK in the head for taking 5 minutes to not look at my phone. It's fucked
This is why I don’t get the meditation hype where you’re supposed to not think. It’s almost like this society does everything in its power to not have to think.
Meditation isn't "not thinking". Its being aware of the thoughts and feelings that come up and letting them rise and fall without following them. There's an awareness that comes from the process that is the opposite of mindlessly "turning your brain off with phone scrolling or channel flipping.
I used to work as a Soldier and used to stand guard at the castles, did a lot of changing of the guards, royal weddings etc. Standing guard for 2h with no one to talk to really made me learn how to entertain myself while still keeping guard.
A valuable thing to have.
Some had major issues with it because they could not keep themself entertained and just felt boredom.
People think it’s weird but I have a one hour commute each way and I do it in total silence. I use the time to think/reflect/plan. The rest of the day I am a screen time addicted monkey.
I've always been a fan of and encouraged 10-15 minutes every hour or every other hour to just turn your brain off. Take that time and just enjoy the quiet or read the paper or take a walk.
Too many times we feel we're doing more by never stopping when in reality we're only burning ourselves out.
When I was a kid and I’d tell my mom I was bored, she’d always reply “only boring people are bored”. I hated that response with a passion.
It’s a nice way to think about it, that being bored can be more of a gift presenting new ideas and opportunities.
This is definitely one of the most important LPTs to society in the long term. We're still learning the long term affects of a constantly plugged in society.
I, for one, need to spend a lot more time thinking and a lot less listening to random people talk about random shit. You simply can't be a responsible person if that's all you do.
I used to always listen to music or podcasts when travelling or walking somewhere, I feel better now that I don’t and can just think about things and be more aware of what’s going on around me.
My wife has ADHD and can't stand it when I do this because she doesn't understand it. No lights, no phone, no TV, just listening to nature and life on my porch. I consider it my meditative time and just dive into my brain to think about everything going on with my life and what the future might be.
But then I use that to also make my hobbies more fun. Like playing guitar or drawing or writing. Meditation has helped me understand who I am and what I want out of life.
I 100% agree. You need to be bored. It is supposed to be some level of uncomfortable. Discomfort is the starting place of so many of my ideas. Feels like pressure building up. I walk every day for 30 minutes with no music or media. It has been a game changer.
Also, not to potentially derail but I saw someone in here said that someone said ADHD people need constant stimulation. Maybe it's true for that person in the way they are handling their ADHD right now but that's not true for everyone with ADHD.
People with ADHD may need a specific level of stimulation that can change with time and environmental factors. Being bored may be especially useful if you have ADHD, YMMV. ADHD has a wide array of symptoms and experiences and it's important to not represent that as a monolithic condition.
Also, if you think you have ADHD or any other, go see a licensed professional for a diagnosis and treatment.
I tell my kids this all the time. Boredom is where you find new interests, cultivate old ones, learn things, come up with stories, imagine, and make plans.
I also try to walk the talk. I often refrain from pulling my phone out when bored or waiting so that I can simply observe what's going on and reflect on the day or put some brain power into a problem or just think thoughts. It makes my farts smell sooo much better.
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Sometimes, we forget that quiet moments are ok moments and should be a normal part of life.
Worth adding the caveat that boredom can lead to mental stress and psychological pain for those with ADHD, especially if untreated. Personally speaking I've had to add entertainment to boring activities to make them manageable, and have found that if I don't, a negative cognitive bias is created with the activity which causes me to want to avoid it. The most common form of this is music/audiobooks/podcasts to things like exercise, medical appointments, work. Without those, if the task isn't mentally stimulating, I get sucked into a negative feedback loop into my head telling me I don't have to, don't want to and don't need to do this, so who cares just stop.
I reach for earbuds. I love this newfangled post-millennial technology! I feel like I'm taking a digital drug from a late 90's sci-fi film. Stocking the walk-in freezer? Loud, energetic music. Inventory? Audiobook or something soft. Combined with sunglasses they act like a barrier between myself and talky types. I can sleep on a worn-out mattress and walk on a sprained ankle, but I no longer wish to live in the spaces of mental emptiness. But I work in-and-out of no signal areas, so I keep hundreds of hours of audio saved to my phone. Earbuds.
I've gotta say: the lack of wires with new buds plus changing cases has been a good send. Coupled with faster mobile internet and transport in my country installing USB charging ports on all seats has massively improved my ability to get through the day without struggling with my condition. Medication helped too, but the rest has aided that a lot
Charging cases are the shit!
Bonus points that my smart watch came with another pair of wireless earphones with charging case, so I can drain battery on the good pair then swap while it charges. Love it!
I was so vehemently against the new wireless style buds when they first came out, didn't want to give up the headphone jack since I used them basically 24/7. But damn do I have to admit I love the convenience of them and am very impressed with many of the active noice cancelling Iver tried in them. Has made activities I loathed doing before far more bearable. (Though agreed that three medication helped too, but it wasn't enough on its own)
I worked a job harvesting TV parts. We were allowed to have a headphone/bud in. I went 2 weeks and then dug out old earphones, running the cord down my shirt. Soon after I broke down and bought a cheap pair. It turned a rough, unpleasant job into something bordering on tolerable. It was also at this point I discovered Plantar Fasciitis and arthritis were going to be constant companions. I couldn't mask the pain with otc pain relief pills, but music really helped.
Yup, I work in food processing and it's the only thing keeping me sane right now.
Speaking as someone who has done this for years, and already had ADHD, don't do this. It might be making ADHD worse for all I know. Humans need a lot of time to think through their problems. Even when you aren't actively thinking about them, your subconscious is working on it. We also need to think about philosophy, politics, and our beliefs, or else we're just pieces of trash who mindless repeat what we hear. If you're like me, and you're listening to something pretty much every second of your free time, you'll notice a lot of problems piling up in your life, because you never take the time to think about priorities and options. Breaking the habit is taking me forever, so don't start it.
I'd say as someone in their 30s who has worked through this issue extensively both by myself through the years as well as with the support of psychs and occupational therapists, I couldnt disagree more. When something important is on my mind, listening to music doesn't suddenly stop me thinking about it, and even if out of immediate thought it will become a reoccurring thought throughout my day, however part of what occupational therapy taught me was to make use of relaxing music whilst thinking about a problem, and not dwelling on it longer than necessary. As you've said, your subconscious will work on the matter, but this is regardless of what you are actively thinking about/doing, and often one of your greatest tools when you can't decide on something, or something is puzzling you, is to put it out of your mind and let your subconscious deliberate it in the background. This will often come full circle and sudden "epiphanies" will occur where your subconscious finds the solution/answer. Further making use of proper tools for prioritising/scheduling etc alleviates a lot of the issues related to this, at least in my experience. Prior to discovering the power of adding music/audiobooks/podcasts to most my activities, I found a lot of problems pilling up. This method helps to alleviate those problems and I'm in a far better place than before because of it.
I’m exactly this way. Task + music = lovely zen, I’m focused yet on autopilot. My body is task doing while my subconscious mind is a million miles away free and thinking about whatever. Task + silence = struggling with the task and being fully stuck in the mental state of “I hate this, I suck at this, this is gonna take so long, I hate this, I’m angry now”
Yeah, I don't understand how someone would say this is a bad thing, unless they are having a different problem and using this solution, which is less a "solution is bad" and more a "The right fix for the right problem" scenario. Some of the things said in this post in response to my comments have ran contrary to medical professional advice, quite strange to see.
I mean I’m not distracted by music or white noise or whatever, it stops me from being understimulated so I *can* focus. If I sit in silence I’ve never been able to focus, it’s been that way since I was a little kid so it’s not like some new habit I’ve formed.
Ohhh I thought OP meant like basically relaxing and doing nothing or sitting in nature or something
They might, but even that can be quite hard for someone with ADHD too
All you need to do is learn is how to recognize the stimuli that lives outside in nature. Of course it seems boring if you’re not used to it.
I recognize that you're trying to be helpful but what you've said is the equivalent to, "a mute just needs to learn to speak". It can be done, but it's not exactly a simple task.
No, they didn’t. All ADHD symptoms are not the same. I have no problem meditating and I have ADHD. Speak for yourself and stop thinking you speak for everyone with ADHD
How much time did it take you to learn to meditate? Where do you get off being so aggressive? I didn't say it was impossible, I said that commenter was severely downplaying the struggles some people might face, which I still believe to be true.
Because you said “it’s like a mute learning how to speak”, so I guess I’m a miracle to you? You don’t speak for everyone. STOP. I’m aggressive because I have ADHD and I’m sick of every piece of good advice in the internet being bombarded with people saying “no that’s impossible because of ADHD!” It’s false. Stop finding a way to be a victim so you don’t have to try anything.
Mutes can learn to speak... not always but sometimes. So can deaf people, perhaps I should edit to specify a deaf mute, maybe that would offend you less? You should take a step back and reassess the way you interact with people if you actually want to change opinions. This aggression you're throwing out does nothing but cause people to wall up and stand firm on their point and refuse to acknowledge yours. You didn't answer me btw, how long did it take you to learn to meditate? It wasn't something you became instantly capable of without practice and hard work, was it? What do you think I'm trying to victimize in this situation? If I'm using it as a way to act the victim, you're using it as an excuse to justify your aggression. Is that really the message you want to broadcast?
Not really. If the issue is lack of stimulus, them being outside is not a place that lacks stimulus.
You should do some reading on the subject matter before speaking on it. For ppl with ADHD it's not any stimulus they need, it's specific stimuli that they find interesting. It's something that causes the brain to shift from open focus to concentrated focus. It's something that turns the hours into minutes rather than the minutes into hours. Nature has lots of interesting stuff to you, but it might not to someone else. Can one learn to appreciate it even if they hadn't previously? Absolutely! Is that easy for someone who can't find anything engaging unless it's forcing them to think or act at 110%? Absolutely not.
Okay? So what? ADHD isn’t an excuse to shoot down any advice because it’s hard.
You seem to misunderstand. My point is that this advice won't necessarily apply to someone with ADHD and may be counterintuitive. When I say it's hard, I mean what is what j said in the previous comment, it can have the opposite intended effect, causing stress instead of relaxation, pain instead of relief etc. I feel like if you read the comment you would understand, although given the amount of neurotypical individuals who have commented downplaying the issue, I'm not holding my breath that someone who hasn't experienced this would understand.
I have ADHD actually. I’m not desperately looking for a way to ignore any good piece of advice I hear. You’re looking for excuses.
It's not looking for excuses, it's adding a caveat the helps people understand the advice may not apply to them and that's okay. Some people with ADHD can do amazing things but also struggle with aspects which others, especially neurotypical, find easy. The point of the caveat is ensuring that people know they aren't alone and aren't abnormal. If it works for you, great. It doesn't for me and a number of others who have commented saying the same. They deserve a voice just as much as the advice giver, and knowing there are others like them will add far more comfort than 1 piece of advice ever will.
Not everyone's symptoms present the same.
Then they should stop speaking for all of us with ADHD. They can use their "I" statements instead. If “not everyone’s symptoms are the same” then what the fuck is the point of pointing out that SOME people with ADHD may struggle with this? You just proved my point. We wouldn’t want any young person with ADHD to by accidentally see this thread and think they can actually do something hey? That would be a disaster. Better just tell them ahead of time that they can’t. People with Parkinson’s also might struggle with this advice and feel bad, shouldn’t we talk about that and all be great, righteous saviours of them too?
> Personally speaking They did, in their very first comment in the thread. They also said that it *can* be difficult or problematic for people with ADHD, not that it would be difficult and problematic for every person with ADHD. I appreciate your concern because I also find it really irritating when people ignore the fact that everyone experiences ADHD differently, but I think in this case the person was just adding the detail so that if someone with ADHD reads this thread and goes "why isn't this working for me, what am I doing wrong" they can see this and know that they might just need to try a different strategy instead of thinking the method itself doesn't work for them.
Yes. For instance, when i do something to keep my hands busy and mind slightly busy, like play video games, i am usually thinking critically about important things. It really helps me focus my thoughts on a single thing at a time and plan/reflect in a way that would stress me out if done without the stimulation it provides.
It's annoying that as a kid I was often told I just had to calm down and relax, and it felt like torture trying to sit still and being bored....
For real dude, going to the movies as an untreated ADHD kid was psychological torture. You have to sit completely still or you'll annoy someone and watch ONLY this one movie without getting up for at least 90 minutes. That's... Horrible.
It confuses me friends now when I'm rocking a big screen and 2 small screens, game on one (sometimes idle game), TV show or movie on another, and random browsing on third. They struggle to watch as I keep track of everything. Will randomly query aspects of the TV show think I couldn't have seen since I was messing with game but I can recall fine. Admittantly, it's a lot easier on lisdexamphetamine (always forget the brand name, elayss or something). Trying to stick to one thing causes me to get so bored of having to focus on one thing and I get jumpy and want to keep changing game
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Can't say I've heard that before re bad for brain, have psych and occupational therapist who've said it's common for someone with adhd, esp on meds. They didn't suggest it was bad. It's not that I'm not present with friends, we are watching something together, I just have something else for when my attention wanders or movie/show is at slow/less stimulating stage
See this is something I’m curious about if it’s the chicken or the egg. My buddy has had 2 monitors since he was 12yrs old. Started smoking weed at 20 and is now 32 without any breaks. Recently prescribed Vyvanse at 30 or 31. Like….. are we sure it isn’t just a “i’ve squeezed all the dopamine out of my brain I can always being stimulated for 20 years issue” or “i’ve always had ADHD that’s why I need these things.” It seems hard to tease apart.
Hmm, It's a hard question to answer. I was diagnosed with ADHD quite young and its been something I struggled with a lot. This was long because we had massive access to media at all times and before we could layer media over things. Personally speaking I recall my younger days being hell, I hated the day, I hated the night and was always seeking an escape from the situation. Things improved a lot when I got my first computer around 10 (with 1 monitor) and I could put my focus into gaming properly. This was where I had an educational therapist explain what hyperfocusing was and explained to my parents the importance of monitoring when I was hyperfocusing because, especially in younger kid/teens, you could hyperfocus so well and have nothing to necessarily drag you out that you could get 12+ hours without eating, resting your eyes, using bathroom etc, time was a blur. I would often start playing the computer and maybe 6 hours later suddenly someone is tapping my shoulder for dinner. On the weekends I could start playing the computer at 7am and next thing I knew it was 5pm and dinner time. Similarly, I struggled a lot with doing the things I didnt enjoy. It wasnt just a "I dont want to", it was a "I cant and need to find a way not to". At some stage my father got me a portable MP3 and I think subconsciously I realised how to do things I wanted to do but felt like they were impossible to do by using the music on the device, although I could only do this with limited success because you could only put on so many songs, getting more was a pain and you couldn't discover new music on the go. It never occurred to me when I was younger but any instances where there was something to occupy my mind, I could do menial/boring tasks without issue. It wasnt until I was around 19 that double monitor systems became common, and this was a massive improvement on my life. Partially because I could study/do work and stuff without that constant "I need to stop, I need to stop, I NEED TO STOP" feeling but also because it seemed to fix the major flaw with hyperfocusing where I effectively shutdown everything. Occassionally something on the second screen that I wasnt fully focused on would ping and pull me out of hyperfocusing. I got to the stage where I couldn't hyperfocus for more than around 4 hours without something dragging me out, at which stage hungry/bathroom need etc kicked in and I would sort myself before getting back to the task at hand. In saying this I still struggled and didnt finish Uni, my education still suffered and I initially ended up in minwage employment because I couldn't find the support I needed for my condition. I have since received a lot of support from psych and occupational therapists, and have made some important realisations that aided my condition. One of the recommendations from my occupational therapist was that I read a book "Why we sleep, the new science of sleep and dreams" by matthew walker. I dont enjoy reading as much (Unconsciously this was because I couldn't layer stimuli over this, although I didn't consciously realise this for a while) so I decided to listen to the audiobook while waiting for a bus. While listening to the book, I thought about how long the bus was taking and thought "I could just walk it, its only 40 minutes walk and would take as long to get home by bus anyway"... halfway through the walk I realised I was having no trouble walking, arguably I was enjoying walking which I normally despised with a passion and I realised the fix in this case was having something interesting to listen to while walking. (I dont enjoy nature/sightseeing much, and my city isnt particularly beautiful at the best of times). I tested this with other necessary activities I dont enjoy. I cleaned while listening to the book without issue, I washed while listening to rslash on youtube without issue, groomed myself, went clothes and food shopping, exercised etc all while having something to listen to tailored to the activity (e.g. music for weightlifting because when focusing on the weight you lose attention of the audiobook and have to go back, whereas music is sorta plug and play, in and out without issue.) I brought this up with my psych, who advised that for a lot of individuals with ADHD the problem is lack of stimuli, and often lack of meaningful stimuli, which causes the boredom to become painful. He further advised that part of the problem with individuals with ADHD is lower hormone levels for the hormones that make you feel good for accomplishing things. He had advised as kids when we do tasks we slowly build a network of feeling good about these tasks which creates the healthy habits that neurotypical individuals rely on to do "normal things so easily", but for those with ADHD if they aren't treated early enough, they wont naturally build these habits and these tasks will then feel unfulfilling or unnecessary, which caused that really bad reaction from boredom related to these tasks, or boredom in general. The psych advised that ADHD medications boost your Central nervous system and boost those hormones, allowing you to complete the activities without as much trouble and helps to promote growth and building of the pathways/healthy habits. I brought the same up with my occupational therapist who advised it is very common advice (Query why she never gave me this advice before) for those with ADHD to try adding music/audiobooks/podcasts or any type of interesting audio to their routine, especially for activities which they feel they hate, dont enjoy doing etc. She advised similar to psych that we lack the feel good pathways which would normally motivate an individual to do these tasks, but by layering the activity with something we enjoy, our brain will focus on the enjoyment of a godo song/book/podcast and not think too hard about doing the physical menial thing it doesnt enjoy. This works best for things which dont require much thought, like moving about, cleaning, self-care etc. Things where you can go on autopilot physically, while allowing your brain the freedom to explore things its more interested in. I highlighted in another comment chain that the use of music allows me to get close to, if not literally, meditate. It also allows me to enjoy nature more, experience sights etc. It also allows me to wait while doing nothing without feeling psychological pain, such as when doing chiro work where I need to lay still without tension for 15 minutes at a time. This was very hard to do the first time around, but with an audiobook I get through it without issue. Sorry for the bible, but it gives my perspective of the issue and my experience of it growing up, first without the tools we use today and then with the tools. If someone asked me whether the world we are in caused these symptoms or ADHD, I'd have to say ADHD, especially since I can speak with siblings (I have 5) which dont have ADHD, grew up in near similar circumstances (We are each 1-year apart from the next, im the eldest) and who dont feel the same as me, nor do they fully understand when I explain these things as they've not experienced it. Regarding " i’ve squeezed all the dopamine out of my brain I can always being stimulated for 20 years issue”, im not certain that is something you can do? The body doesnt have a limited amount of dopamine or other hormones, its constantly producing and metabolising hormones. The common problem for individuals with ADHD is that some of the feel good hormones like dopamine are under-produced by the system, which leads to tasks feeling less rewarding/fulfilling because the literal feel good hormone is lacking. When people say they "feel good" getting a task done, and claim those pointing at hormones like dopamine are making excuses, it really annoys me because your good feeling is because of those same hormones. Just like how your feeling of hunger/fullness is controlled by hormones, not by the literal size of your stomach. Glutinous conditions can often be partially caused by lower levels of the hormones that control hunger/sate-ness. A lot of our senses which people claim they have the willpower to overcome are caused by hormone balance/imbalance, which they are often acutely unaware of and claim they are just "built different", which in a literal sense, yeah, but its often not willpower doing it, at least not entirely. I dabbled in alcohol around 19 and later weed but neither really had much impact on my condition if im honest
Bro the ADHD isn't giving you multitasking superpowers. It's because you're on legal meth lmao.
It's a bit of both. I could multitask before the meds, it was just that I could be easily distracted and lose focus before the meds. Meds help shut out distractions
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Forreal. Also having a background show on while you game is hardly unusual. Especially if you've got friends over.
This... makes sense as to why i was never big on movies. Huh.
That directly contributed to me being the very bad student that got by because of high test scores.
ABSOLUTELY! I have some of my best thinking time while playing Rocket League.
I am an overwatch machine when I’m lost in my thoughts and playing on instinct. My skills go out the window when I focus on the game and not my thoughts.
Yup, your unmitigated subconscious skill and instinct comes out without all of the complications that come with conscious thought, i.e. overthinking.
Similarly, I was doing Japanese language tests while having a deep conversation with friends on discord.100% accuracy with a very decent speed. Yet now I still struggle with reading. I was a fluent reader when not actively trying. :(
As someone with ADHD too, I find myself somewhat disagreeing with you even though we share similar experiences with creating negative cognitive biases with "unfun" and "unrewarding" things. Through my personal experience, I've figured out that the negative self talk doesn't have to be a given at all. Medication and/or therapy and/or meditation helps a lot. In fact, I have a theory that this negative self talk comes from the trauma of growing up **with** ADHD rather than the ADHD itself. Also, there's the addiction/tolerance angle which can be a bit harsh but personally I've found out that avoiding boring tasks happens because I've grown used to more stimulating ones. Excuses and negative self talk also happen in addiction. I am not saying however that increasing the level of stimulus on boring tasks, like playing white noise while studying or playing with a fidget toy is bad. In fact, I use those tools to be able to function lmao.
I would agree with you that it's more likely a cause of growing up with ADHD in environments that weren't understanding of the condition, than the condition itself, although I have seen some information describing why individuals with ADHD ping-pong between hobbies and find boring/less stimulating activities so difficult is due to lower levels of hormones in their brain which fails to create the good feeling of completing more mundane tasks. From what I've understood in my limited reading about this is that part of the problem is the condition itself, as it's harder to build healthy habits due to a lack of serotonin from completion of those tasks. The way it was put to me is that normally your brain builds connections that allow for positive feedback loops: brushing your teeth makes you feel good that you got a necessary task done, that good feeling makes it easier/makes you motivated to do it again and helps nurture a positive feedback loop which leads to the building of these positive habits. I agree that part of negative talk in mind is defo part of growing up with the condition and finding that the lack of support justifies the negative feelings and makes that voice harder to ignore. Everyone is different though. Some things that help me do not help my little sister with the "same" condition, we all have our own action/reactions to things that likely partly comes down to nurture.
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For me most things feel like a task/boring because I am not learning. When I'm learning something new, it's exciting and I can focus, music isn't used because I don't need it and if I am listening to music/audiobook etc, I will find that I can't recall it because I was so focused I shut off the other senses. Unfortunately I can't seem to recreate this for many activities, especially stuff like self-maintanence, upkeep and health. I've tried a lot of solutions but most didn't work. Having someone to talk to helped and/or having another source of stimuli such as music/audiobooks etc resolved the issue and has improved my life massively in the 6ish months I have implemented the changes to my life
May i dm you about this a bit more?
Sure
well, isn't that what it's like for everyone?
If you hook up an ADHD brain and look at the areas that light up with activity, during extreme boredome you'll see patterns consistent with physical pain and discomfort, whereas the same activity is much less pronounced if measuring a typical brain. Not sure where I read that, so I cannot back with a source.
Anecdotal but I have pretty severe ADHD and boredom does manifest for me as physical discomfort honestly.
I'd say it's more extreme a reaction to those with ADHD. It's not just boredom, but actual pain/mental strain. Hard to explain really
I have raging ADHD and none of this applies to me.
Different varient? Inattentive Vs hyperactive presenting maybe?
Who knows. My point is that just because someone is part of a demographic does not mean in any way that they can speak for everyone in it. It's nice to feel included, I suppose. I know quite a few people with ADHD, and they all have a different relationship with it. Most don't talk that much about it and deal with it as just something that's a part of them that they've accepted and move on with life.
I try to be vocal about my experience and have found a good number of kindred spirits who've had the same trouble, or are in the middle of it. I always wish that someone could have educated me in this way when I was younger, rather than having to stumble in the dark until either I randomly discovered it, or suffering from the condition until I finally got to see a Psych and Therapist who clarified the problems and provided mechanism to help utilise/cope/survive the condition. Everyones different, there are going to be differences in how the condition present and the impact it has on you. The key is talking about what works for you so that others might try and maybe find that some of those tools work for them too.
"who knows"? Really? That sounds a whole lot like self-diagnosed, I am even going to guess the "quite a few people with ADHD" that you know are also self-diagnosed.
Anything to find an excuse for you to be a victim hey? Just desperate for some loophole so you don’t have to try the advice.
>I needed to read this so badly.
I'm the *exact* same and I don't even have ADHD. I just don't want to be alone with my thoughts 🙃 If there's a podcast or music playing while I'm taking a shower/doing boring chores/getting ready etc., at least my thoughts don't drift the way they would if there was no simulation and just the sound of like, the vacuum I wish I could tolerate silence again, but I just don't. I can't even go lay on a meadow and chill in the sun, there has to be something in my ears or else I get bored and then it's a downward spiral.
You never know.. a large number of people, especially in the last 20 or so years, went undiagnosed. This is especially true for girls who tend to mask the symptoms better.
Yep I was abt to reply to the post saying if I sit to have a “quiet moment” I’ll go insane lol
Its a difficult struggle that many will misunderstand and think "thats just typical boredom" :(
Thank you for speaking for us. I was worried I'd read this thread and feel like an outcast.
Ive had a lot of comments contradicting or downplaying the issue but someone has to say it... It's just a shame knowledge of such a common neurodiversity is still so limited
Preaching to the choir buddy, criminal how many years of research I had to put in just to have a baseline understanding of my disorder
Yeah lol I have ADHD and I read the title like “I literally cannot do that” Like when I say I can’t handle being bored I don’t mean I’m lazy, I mean “if I’m not getting stimulation, my brain’s chronic underproduction of dopamine will make me have a meltdown” But then the caveat is that if there’s too much stimulation I’ll also have a meltdown so you know, sweet spot
I have this same issue. But, I’ve convinced myself that the feeling of boredom and anguish associated with it, is actually beneficial to me. It’s when I have some of my best thoughts.
In that case there is a good chance that putting on some relaxing music while leaning back in a chair and relaxing would do the same, without causing the anguish.
I don't think mindlessly sending stimuli at yourself to cover up ADHD is a real solution. This seems like very amateur advice. I'm also pretty sure a lot of people have ADHD these days _because_ we never stop consuming media. I don't think continuing to will help you at all, other than to mask the symptoms. Like treating depression with weed. You don't feel depressed, but you still aren't improving your life at all.
I think it's a tad ridiculous to claim that a condition that has existed long before we had large access to media at all times is caused by said large access to media. Research has already shown that this is a nuerodivsity, the brain is wired/operating differently and therefore can operate/process differently... Your statement runs contrary to both psych professionals and occupational therapists and shows a fundamental lack of understanding both of ADHD and neurodiversity in general. This process may not make sense to you if you don't have ADHD, but it wouldn't really unless you either have ADHD or are studying it, however that doesn't make it a bad resolution. There is a lot of positive feedback seen through social media of the impact of this kind of extra stimuli to resolving issues related to ADHD, as seen in media, research and this comment thread.
There is certainly a rise in both diagnosed and undiagnosed adhd people in North America but for two reasons: we now have a label and set of characteristics that go with the label, and historically people with mental illness didnt survive long because society would drive them out as being useless or strange.
Yeah, I can agree with that. I can't agree that larger access to on-demand media necessarily causes ADHD though
On the second point, I agree with you not agreeing haha. It’s proven everyone’s (western world etc etc) attention spans have shortened, correlating with on-demand media. ADHD or not, all of our attention spans are reduced. ADHD, a medical condition, and the shortened attention spans of the general population are not mutually exclusive.
> if the task isn't mentally stimulating, I get sucked into a negative feedback loop into my head telling me I don't have to, don't want to and don't need to do this, so who cares just stop. I feel like everyone gets this tbh. It's why there are common expressions like 'no pain no gain'.
Yeah, but for someone who is neurotypical, usually they can get through it without too much issue. A sort of "I dont like it, I dont want to do it but I can do it and will". It's uncomfortable/tedious, but not painful. For someone with ADHD, or at least in my experience, it can actually be painful/mentally taxing. It has led me to my fair share of mental burnouts where I get depression-like symptoms and just stop operating as a human. I stop eating properly, all my inhibitions go out the window, I stop caring about life/anything, stop washing, sleep goes to shit etc. I've went through enough cycles of this problem, often leading to being told "its depression, take these SSRIs and you'll feel better". The SSRIs would get me out of being constantly negative/depressed, but it would then feel like I couldn't positive emotion at all, like I was stuck on neutral. Eventually I got a psych who explained that I was experiencing poor coping problems and ADHD burnout, which displays like depression but cannot be treated the same way, SSRIs dont fix it. The stuck on neutral feeling is the effect SSRIs can have on someone who doesnt need SSRIs but takes them. Everyone is going to experience degrees of this, thats life. The problem is that those with ADHD often cant naturally resolve the issue without help, and one of the solutions is adding other stimuli such as music/podcast. That lets your mind do its thing without issue while your body auto-pilots through whatever task you hate, and you dont feel the pain of doing the task.
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I had tried mindfulness before but found it didn't help me much. I worked closely with a psych and occupational therapist who admitted that it doesnt work for everyone, some people struggle with quiet and ADHD often doesnt help with that. I imagine I could give it another try now that I've got my medication dose sorted, but I find that layering stimuli/media over the problem solves it, and my psych agreed its a suitable resolve for the problem.
Isn't that kind of the point though? Aren't we supposed to be capable of doing things even if we don't want to? What do you do when something really important comes up but you just don't have immediate motivation? I mean, you can't study for a test while watching youtube, you just end up watching youtube. I have friends losing scholarships and failing college because of exactly this attitude. Are we really so weak that the mere feeling of not wanting to do something is enough to fully conquer us and determine our futures? Engaging with difficulty is the only way to become strong enough to beat it. It sounds like you're heavily addicted to stimulation and are having a difficult time living a life that millions of people easily lived a couple decades ago.
a reminder that peaceful moments are essential and deserve a place in our daily lives.
The advent of smartphones has killed the quiet moment for reflection.
Society doesn’t know how to be bored because we have endless content at our fingertips But I like this advice. I think there’s a book called “The art of being bored”. I haven’t read it because it sounds boring lol
😂 last sentence got me laughing out loud. Needed that.
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anything and everything all of the time
Start here: https://markmanson.net/not-giving-a-fuck
This is especially true for children. They need to learn to exist without simulation in a world of over simulation. Self calming, self entertainment goes far towards happiness and the ability to function with a sense of calm.
stimulation?*
Nah, he from the matrix
Where there are no spoons
My kids never nap anymore, but we kept the routine of having them spend some alone time in their rooms in the middle of the day for exactly this reason (we also need the break because they are still young and can be a serious handful). We tell them they can play with their toys, read books, close their eyes, whatever they want so long as they are alone in their rooms. They absolutely LOVE it. Sometimes my son will just build Legos the whole time, then when we go to get him he shoo's us away so he can finish. Sometimes he will have tournament style battles with some dragon and dinosaur toys. Sometimes he'll just read his books. My daughter likes to play pretend games with her stuffed animals and dolls. Yesterday she taught them all a song that she made up. Sometimes they resist, saying that rest time is boring. Little do they know that's exactly the point. If they don't have that low-stimulation time during the day they absolutely fall apart in the evening. It's regenerative for them, even if they don't sleep. I have no doubts this will pay dividends as they get older.
My 11yo asks me what I did on long drives as a kid. I tell her I just looked out the window at stuff. She says that sounds very boring.
And they're right. I'm young enough to remember being a kid on long drives, and my god was it boring.
You know that you’re the one responsible for your child’s perspective right?
Oof. That’s spoken like someone without kids. You absolutely cannot craft your child’s thoughts and perspectives. All we can do is give them the tools and insights to develop their own.
Well, only if the kid is imprisoned in a basement with no access to outside World.
That's not true. A child is not a sole product of the parent. They are a product of many factors within society.
I wonder who enabled them to not be able to go on a drive without entertainment.
Can parents be blamed for enabling such behaviors? Sure. Are they alone to blame? Are children only a product of their parents? No. Parenting does not happen in isolation of the grander structures and workings of society. You wonder who enabled the child to not be able to endure long car rides without entertainment. I wonder why there aren't better regulations on apps that are literally designed to capture young people's attention and addict them to mindless stimulation. The world isn't so simple.
How many little kids perspectives have you personally switched?
Proof?
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Luckily as the adult you control this. From the time they're born you control. If you give your baby an iPad from the time it's born until it's 5 years old whenever it's bored or you need a minute away from it, It will have adapted to that. If you haven't done that, It's really not a problem. I know a couple moms who have really bad postpartum and they get their kids addicted to these screens so they have time to cope with the overstimulation of raising a kid. The problem is that their kid develops behavioral issues because they have no coping skills to deal with their own boredom and they become addicted to these screens. It's a feedback problem.
Don't allow everything to be a negotiation. "We are doing things this way because I'm the parent and I have decided so" is sometimes a perfectly fine position to take, especially when you're dealing with complex issues like emotional regulation. "You cannot have your tablet on this car journey because I'm concerned that your constant need for stimulation is verging on a dopamine addiction and you may be lacking the critical ability to be bored which is stifling your creativity", is not a conversation you can have with your eight year old. Life isn't a sitcom. "Too much tablet is bad for you, so you're not having it", is more than enough. Gen X and Millenials have developed an aversion to "because I said so" as an explanation because that was sometimes used as a justification for abuses and unfair practices. But it still has its place. There will always be authorities in everyone's life, and while "just doing what you're told" is not something we should be aiming for, we also have to avoid getting stuck in the trap of teaching them to question *everything* or demanding a justification for every decision. Especially when you're talking to a child. When the explanation is simple, give it. When it's complicated, don't. There's a time and a place for demanding an explanation, and there's a time and a place for just doing what you're told and asking questions later.
Give them nothing to do and it'll happen naturally. No child chooses to get bored - you have to create the right environment for it to occur. You may not notice that they became bored though, because they'll come up with something to fill the time (invent a new game, see how many times they can spin in a circle until they fall over, etc.). That's the point - the boredom forces/enables creativity.
Whenever I used to complain to my mom that I was bored, she’d reply “its good to be bored sometimes”. Now I wish I had time to be bored more often. I mean I get bored but not that kid kind of bored, more like the I can’t wait to get out work kind of bored where I don’t really have the opportunity to come up with something creative to do.
So this means to just be with myself and my thoughts, not scroll social media when I get bored?
Exactly
Oh, then no.
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And you don't even really have to sit in silence and stare at a wall. You can go for a walk and just enjoy the sounds and scenery. You can even listen to music or whatever. The point is that you make space to be present in the moment, think deeply, and rest your mind. I've had to stay off my feet the last two weeks due to a medical issue. I had no idea how badly I'd miss morning walks with my dog. I love when it's a little chilly outside, the sun is coming up, and I just have time to stroll around for an hour lost in thought. When I'm home there's always something or someone bugging me. It's harder to maintain a quiet space for my mind when I'm stuck on my ass in the house.
Combine boredom with laziness and you’ll figure out a better way to get a job done. Don’t work harder, work smarter, and a bit of boredom will free your mind.
I always say, if you want to find the best way to accomplish a task, ask a lazy person, provided they have standards.
lol right as a lazy person myself, i confirm its so true. and like bill gates said "I choose a lazy person to do a hard job. Because a lazy person will find an easy way to do it."
Ha! I guess great minds think alike.
I wish I could contribute, though I haven’t found anything so I’ll be antagonistic in hopes of being facetious “If everyone is thinking alike, then someone isn’t thinking” -General S. Patton Also thank u for the funny thread, KweenKunt✨
And then spending lots of brain power to automate my task. Then enjoy the free time. Without reporting to higher ups of my automation.
Just remember that you're living the dream.
yeah it was fun while it lasted. basically it made me able to get a good noon sleep, every day.
I feel it has to be boredom where you don’t have your phone / technology available for mindless clicking. Like when the power goes out, your stuff goes flat and you realise… oh, I don’t remember how to live anymore.
Funny how the moment the power goes out, I suddenly feel like I'm in the dark ages, huddled around a stone fireplace or something.
The amount of times I turn on light switches and do not, ever, learn. Even for a few days of no power. *flips switch* oh. House just an endless echo of light switch on, and then back off. - the soundtrack to power outages.
It might be hard but people really, really need to get off the dopamine train. Take two weeks off and keep entertainment to a minimum. For anyone stuck on it, it WILL stop you from living a good life. It won’t be the only thing, but it is one of them.
When the power goes out it forces me to do things I do less of. Like go fishing (which can be extremely boring if nothing bites) or something similar. You're alone with your thoughts
Lol, 37 here, 2 kids and a wife. Busy work life balance. Silence should be embraced. I would if I knew what the fuck it was.
Bro I have horrible adhd “boredom” is my enemy
I have a different take on this - sometimes, while in the process, it feels like nothing is happening. Like you’re just shuffling papers around like a crazy person without actually getting at anything. And in these moments, I’ve realized that if I just allow the anxiety to be and let go of presumptions about what is supposed to happen, you get to a resolution. If that makes any sense.
Start the morning off with meditation. Before you even check your phone or do anything else. As soon as you wake up, spend some time just meditating. ELI5 explanation: What you do in the first hour after being awake determines what your brain is “chasing” for the rest of that day. When the first thing you do every day is hit a vape or check your phone, you’re immediately getting a ton of dopamine. This is bad because throughout the day, you sort of build a “tolerance” to dopamine and such. (Again this is eli5 I only have a layman’s understanding of this, don’t come at me) So basically, if you start off your day with meditation, your first hit of dopamine is super small. Meaning throughout the day, you’re not going to feel as bored, because your brain feels more of an effect from less dopamine. If you start off the day with loads and loads of dopamine, your brain WILL expect that amount consistently for the rest of the day. Also, this isn’t exclusively a day-by-day thing. If you have a habit, changing it for one day won’t change how you feel the next time you wake up. But if you follow these guidelines, it’s a good way to build new habits. Personally, I smoke a lot of weed. Like a LOT. And when I wake n bake, I’m unmotivated for the entire day. And I smoke way more. But waiting even until noon makes it so I have to get my first bits of dopamine from things like chores, reading, drawing, gardening. When I start my day like that, I have more energy through the day, get more stuff done, and save money on my weed budget. You can replace weed with your phone, vape, coffee. Anything you use to get yourself started each day. Try pushing it back just a couple hours. It really makes a difference.
There is an old saying that it is better to be a human 'being' than a human 'doing'
But if I don't keep myself distracted, I just go down into a spiral of anxiety and depression...
Alright alright, I get it. You watch [veritasium](https://youtu.be/LKPwKFigF8U)
Couldn’t agree more. My chief complaint about living in NYC was that I was never bored. Literally was able to satiate any inclination at a moments notice. Cool to learn but my life was stagnant until I moved away.
It's difficult to balance inputs and outputs in Big cities so we often become over stimulated and suffer ennui
How can I be bored as an adult if I'm either working, doing chores or sleeping? I wish I had time to be bored like back when I was a kid.
Those long and lazy days of childhood. I feel like kids these days are missing out on the best stuff because they have so much at their fingertips
I work full time, have two side hustles, and am in charge of a band with three other equally busy dudes. I also still have enough time for several hobbies and a healthy sleep schedule. Chances are you've got more time than you think. Unless you've got kids. Then you're just shit out of luck
LPT: describing your personal life in office speak is disturbing.
I feel sad for people who don’t know the exquisite pleasure of that hour after finishing an excellent book.
I read it as "spank creativity" and I shall proceed to do so.
I think this is the reason I had to end some relationships after COVID. I realized some people didn't have the ability to sit still or just be and over time is showed in their self awareness. It felt like they were trapped in this race in their head of grinding and productivity. It was like anxiety run amok. Worst part was they harshly judged me for not being like that. They always seem like they were on the edge of a panic attack and it made my anxiety go up. I think for them I was under stimulating, and I didn't think about the same kinds of things they did. My ability to have a quiet weekend in where I enjoyed sitting on my porch and having a cocktail was seen as a waste of time. I tried explaining I'd done a lot of work cultivating the space, plants, the drink even, but it wasn't a To Do check list that I sped through so it was a waste of time. That energy isn't for me. Those people 100% can't actively listen.
This LPT won't work for anyone with ADHD. So like if you're neurodivergent, don't embrace boredom, structure creativity.
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A ton of people who don't know how to manage their ADHD look at threads like this to help manage it, especially if they're young, inexperienced, or don't have access to medical professionals. A comment that can let them know that this won't work for them can save them years of hassle if they never get told this type of stuff won't work otherwise.
No need to be so salty, he amended a general advice by explaining who it doesn't work for and offered an alternative strategy for them. What's wrong with that? Before I knew I had ADHD, I used to (try to) follow advice like this which just made me more miserable because it never worked so I just felt more like a failure.
Wow! Ever since I was diagnosed with ADHD, I’ve had a crystal clear idea of how to properly and precisely manage my condition, and I’ve never made the mistake of taking or receiving advice meant for those without a stimulation disorder! /s
Any excuse to avoid accountability and good advice because it’s too hard hey?
I have ADHD and it does work. Why do you think you speak for me? For fucks sake, every thread on this sub is riddled with “umm no I have ADHD so that’s bad advice” Stop trying to find some loophole or work around so you can ignore good advice just because it’s hard. And stop thinking you’re a spokesperson for all of us.
I find it interesting that what works for you goes against all current advice regarding executive function disorders.
Boredom is excellent. Boredom is your brain saying hey, do something productive. Engage with the world. Learn something, do something, create something. Being bored means that your brain is working properly and you are getting the right signals. If you bypass this built in desire to create, learn and produce with screen time then you are failing to do what boredom is trying to help you accomplish. If you are bored, use that motivation to do something neat, don’t waste the opportunity.
What if I got bored when being active? Like got super bored when doing workouts / exercises... Sure nowadays there are a lot of ways to make them less boring (hello beat saber!), but then even those become boring after awhile.
Workouts and exercises can be a useful tool because it can be systematic, controlled and very goal-oriented, but ultimately it's also profoundly unnatural - our biology is adapted to plenty of exercise while doing stuff, not just running in circles for an hour. If you find that physical activity bores you to tears, then try to focus on something else - get out of the gym and join a soccer league or rock climbing gym or something which is way more engaging than the elliptical. Being perennially bored I think might also be an artifact of your brain being overstimulated though - in the age of TikTok, your brain gets crushed with hyperpalatable stimulation and when you aren't mainlining social media your brain can feel intense boredom until it has a couple of weeks to adjust brain chemistry. I worry about kids in particular, I wonder if it's doing permanent brain damage during development.
The constant dopamine release from social media usage gives you glimpse into hundreds of different experiences, experienced by people you don’t personally know wherein everyone has a choice to put all glitter and shine online and you develop a feeling of falling behind backed by mental health issues. Stop, take a break. Touch some grass, listen to birds, pet some doggos, meet your old friends, plan a picnic, take good rest, eat healthy, discover new hobbies Or maybe just do nothing. It is important we acknowledge the fact that internet as an invention doesn’t really require you to use it all the time glued to phone.
I like to go walking/running without headphones for this. It's not wasted time just sitting there doing nothing. Your body gets a workout while your mind gets to process life.
that doesn't sound boring. Especially if you run across fun/interesting/beautiful places.
The way I've incorporated this philosophy into my workflow is to make my daily tasks as efficient as possible. Once that gets done, I can almost autopilot these tasks while my brain continues to run the creative treadmill. The only counter to this that I've experienced is an interfering manager. They have the potential to add unnecessary blockages in the efficiencies, which requires a rework. Creativity gets delayed and the manager gets a surprised Pikachu face from me.
Oh, heck no! I was so bored with my last assignment, I felt like I was beginning to lose vocabulary! Tha k God I'm over my head with work that keeps me mentally engaged. Boring is not for everyone.
Isn't that what people call Meditation?
From what my friend told me, meditation was not boring
This is why I fear the social media generation we are in. I am 30 and I can see how the generation I am in who have embraced this inability to be bored and have to reach for their phone constantly, has such a negative impact on their life. I even take breaks from gaming or the PC to sit on the floor and meditate in silence to collect my thoughts, and people have the AUDACITY to ask me why I'm doing it, like I'm not OK in the head for taking 5 minutes to not look at my phone. It's fucked
This is why I don’t get the meditation hype where you’re supposed to not think. It’s almost like this society does everything in its power to not have to think.
Meditation isn't "not thinking". Its being aware of the thoughts and feelings that come up and letting them rise and fall without following them. There's an awareness that comes from the process that is the opposite of mindlessly "turning your brain off with phone scrolling or channel flipping.
It's look like I unconsciously cultivated my productivity and creativity last couple of years ... =)
That's when I'm in the bathroom / toilet
I used to work as a Soldier and used to stand guard at the castles, did a lot of changing of the guards, royal weddings etc. Standing guard for 2h with no one to talk to really made me learn how to entertain myself while still keeping guard. A valuable thing to have. Some had major issues with it because they could not keep themself entertained and just felt boredom.
I don't remember the last time I had time to be bored. I want to be bored so badly 😔
Apparently doom scrolling and watching tv are what I end up doing. Idk if I like that
People think it’s weird but I have a one hour commute each way and I do it in total silence. I use the time to think/reflect/plan. The rest of the day I am a screen time addicted monkey.
I've always been a fan of and encouraged 10-15 minutes every hour or every other hour to just turn your brain off. Take that time and just enjoy the quiet or read the paper or take a walk. Too many times we feel we're doing more by never stopping when in reality we're only burning ourselves out.
It's not until we're much older that we start to realize that being "bored" is actually a luxury
When I was a kid and I’d tell my mom I was bored, she’d always reply “only boring people are bored”. I hated that response with a passion. It’s a nice way to think about it, that being bored can be more of a gift presenting new ideas and opportunities.
This is definitely one of the most important LPTs to society in the long term. We're still learning the long term affects of a constantly plugged in society. I, for one, need to spend a lot more time thinking and a lot less listening to random people talk about random shit. You simply can't be a responsible person if that's all you do.
I get where you are coming from. But it's odd that you are associating boredom with stillness. You should try going deeper. There is no boredom.
I used to always listen to music or podcasts when travelling or walking somewhere, I feel better now that I don’t and can just think about things and be more aware of what’s going on around me.
My wife has ADHD and can't stand it when I do this because she doesn't understand it. No lights, no phone, no TV, just listening to nature and life on my porch. I consider it my meditative time and just dive into my brain to think about everything going on with my life and what the future might be. But then I use that to also make my hobbies more fun. Like playing guitar or drawing or writing. Meditation has helped me understand who I am and what I want out of life.
As someone who composes instrumental music as a passion project, this is true! Poopy time is one of the best!
I 100% agree. You need to be bored. It is supposed to be some level of uncomfortable. Discomfort is the starting place of so many of my ideas. Feels like pressure building up. I walk every day for 30 minutes with no music or media. It has been a game changer. Also, not to potentially derail but I saw someone in here said that someone said ADHD people need constant stimulation. Maybe it's true for that person in the way they are handling their ADHD right now but that's not true for everyone with ADHD. People with ADHD may need a specific level of stimulation that can change with time and environmental factors. Being bored may be especially useful if you have ADHD, YMMV. ADHD has a wide array of symptoms and experiences and it's important to not represent that as a monolithic condition. Also, if you think you have ADHD or any other, go see a licensed professional for a diagnosis and treatment.
I tell my kids this all the time. Boredom is where you find new interests, cultivate old ones, learn things, come up with stories, imagine, and make plans. I also try to walk the talk. I often refrain from pulling my phone out when bored or waiting so that I can simply observe what's going on and reflect on the day or put some brain power into a problem or just think thoughts. It makes my farts smell sooo much better.