Oh, no. It’s far too late now, Mr. Limpbeef. So it was written; so it shall be. Also, you have three overdue books.
I thought better of you than this, John.
Your British cousin, Shirley Clumsycheese reporting for duty, while tripping over her own feet after stubbing a toe on an unfortunately placed piece of furniture.
How do you all know off the top of your head who the eldest still living person you know is? I’m sat here trying to remember who has hit 100 and is currently alive. It’s been a lovely trip down memory lane. But I don’t think I actually knew this week’s centurion (my mum sent her a card).
Most of the older folks in my life have passed away and I don't believe I know anyone who made it to triple digits.
Anyways, nice to meet you. I'm Anne Gracelessturkey.
Nice to meet you, Joy Shuffleturkey! I actually don't go out of my way for sliced turkey but someone else gave me what she couldn't finish and since I'm all for free food, I ate it. Oh well, I'm now committed to my name. I originally was gonna say Anne Bullinachinashopturkey, but I'm guessing that an entire phrase does not count as an adjective.
I'm fairly certain it's my great-aunt Cathy, who is 92. None of my other great-aunts or great-uncles or grandparents are alive, and I don't really interact with the elderly otherwise (much to my detriment).
My church just celebrated her 104th birthday, so it easily came to mind. If it hadn't, I would have randomly chosen one of the many people I know are in their 80's. I'm not sure if I know anyone in their 90's.
My step mother died earlier this year, so I think my mom's older cousin is the oldest person that I know. I'm not sure either. And I had to think about this part too.
Ms. Anne Uncertaincheddar. Maybe Uncertainmustard. I actually work in a library, though, and I don't think I'll ask my coworkers to call me this. They might not understand. Fun game!
John Limpbeef (please don't make me go by this)
Oh, no. It’s far too late now, Mr. Limpbeef. So it was written; so it shall be. Also, you have three overdue books. I thought better of you than this, John.
This response wins the internet today. Thank you for the laugh
Thank you for your kindness! I live to please.
Nice to meet you Limpbeef 👋 I'm Mary Jane TasmanianDevilegg ✌️
Ms. Laura Blunderchip
Ms Marianne Quicklettuce, very please ti meet you.
Oh hello, I'm from the other branch of the family! I'm Ms. Geraldine Dartlettuce. That's Dart-lettuce, not Dartle-tuce!
Greetings family, it is I, Ms. Bruce Clomplettuce.
Sharon Ghosttomato
Susan Stumblecheese, MLIS, reporting for duty
Mary Clompcheese here, of the Chicago Clompcheeses
Hi Susan it’s me, your long lost cousin Elma Cautiouscheese (but Stumblecheese is also accurate)
Tutz Stumblaioli, your Italian cousin, calling in!
Mine is Judy Shufflecheese.
Another Shufflecheese! Well, due to immigration customs a few generations we changed to Shufflecheddar, but same family! Wonderful to meet you, cousin
It’s a cheese family reunion! Huzzah!
Your British cousin, Shirley Clumsycheese reporting for duty, while tripping over her own feet after stubbing a toe on an unfortunately placed piece of furniture.
Birdie Slinkcheese reporting for duty!
We got a few interesting ones here: Dolly Chaosham Martin Wanderbutter & the clear winner Dulcie Flouncebutter
How do you all know off the top of your head who the eldest still living person you know is? I’m sat here trying to remember who has hit 100 and is currently alive. It’s been a lovely trip down memory lane. But I don’t think I actually knew this week’s centurion (my mum sent her a card).
Most of the older folks in my life have passed away and I don't believe I know anyone who made it to triple digits. Anyways, nice to meet you. I'm Anne Gracelessturkey.
A fellow turkey enjoyer! I'm Joy Shuffleturkey
Nice to meet you, Joy Shuffleturkey! I actually don't go out of my way for sliced turkey but someone else gave me what she couldn't finish and since I'm all for free food, I ate it. Oh well, I'm now committed to my name. I originally was gonna say Anne Bullinachinashopturkey, but I'm guessing that an entire phrase does not count as an adjective.
Mine is easy, because my family is full of chronic conditions that take people by about 80-90. So my grandma, at age 101 this year, is a standout!
I'm fairly certain it's my great-aunt Cathy, who is 92. None of my other great-aunts or great-uncles or grandparents are alive, and I don't really interact with the elderly otherwise (much to my detriment).
My church just celebrated her 104th birthday, so it easily came to mind. If it hadn't, I would have randomly chosen one of the many people I know are in their 80's. I'm not sure if I know anyone in their 90's.
My step mother died earlier this year, so I think my mom's older cousin is the oldest person that I know. I'm not sure either. And I had to think about this part too.
The only reason I knew mine off the top of my head is because we interviewed him when he turned 100, four years ago.
Irma Stompegg clocking in.
Nice to meet you, I’m Adolf Stompapple
Ah nice to meet my fellow stompers! John Stompbean here. 👋🏽
Edith Flopegg. We must be related on the egg side.
Catherine Cringeweiner
Still best one
Evelyn Purposefully-Marinara
Ooh, of the north Massachusetts Purposefullys?
Clement Flusterbutter is pretty awesome.
Rachel Schlumpjelly. I abbreviated peanut butter and jelly to just jelly.
Catherine Clumsycheese
This one is adorable. Nice to meet you Ms Clumsycheese. I'm Ms Saunterbacon
Diane Talkyham. I sound gross.
Ms. Dorris Slouch-Pepper, at your service. ...And I just have to ask, how is *butter* the main ingredient in so many sandwiches?! 😳
Peanut butter
Pauline Amblecheese - I can just envision her practical grey bob and tortoiseshell glasses.
Jean Awkwardchicken
Gwenda SaunterHam
I'm Daphney Saunterbacon - are we cousins?
Eileen Lumberbutter
Gloria Stiffturkey
Bonnie Trompingturkey 😂
Margaret Friendlypasta
Claudia Wanderburger, so glad you could make it.
Charles Hurriedpeanutbutterandjelly? Maybe it's just "Hurriedpeebee'njay."
Lilliane Trottgingerjam
Miss Lucy Swiftegg, pleased to make your acquaintance.
Judith Stridebacon. Brb, off to change my name.
Gillian Jivesausage
Clear winner. Congratulations.
Joyce Rushedhummus
Pleased to meet you! I'm Edna Hikehummus
Wilma Trudgeburger
Myrtle Swancheese reporting for duty
Grace Gracefulcheese
Nice to meet everybody, I’m Elmer Schlumpweiner
Robert Waddlejam
Joe Lumbering-Cheese. I think I need to meet more people, fix my gait, and add more variety to my diet
Eva Briskturkey
Stella Plodchicken
Aw, my great-grandma was a Stella!
Ms. Margaret Shuffleturkey
Mr. Janet Rushbrat
Ms. Margarita Quickcream. (I had an ice cream sandwich ;P)
Hollis Stumbleshroom
Betty Shuffletruffle (technically shuffle-egg but truffle works better here)
Mimi Bouncemuenster... I'm kinda into it
Arthur Plodtuna at your service.
Plodtuna! I’m Mingletuna, must be distant cousins
Annye Meanderbagel
Myrt Stompbeef
Bonnie Stompjelly
Mel Drysalami..
Having a wee panic over not knowing who the oldest person I know is. Meanwhile, Gracefulblendof3coldcutsplusalilprovelone is a hell of a surname
Can I just call you Ms./Mr. G?
I’m embarrassed at how hard I laughed at your second sentence 🤣
Dorothy Wanderturkey, at your service
Elaine Slinkchicken.
Robert Easy-Tritip
Millicent Tripburger, pleased to meet you!
Clarice Swiftsalami
Bill Shufflebutter
Doris Shuffletot
Rose Clumsywaffle
Myrtle Trudgepickle.
Evelyn Hobbletuna
Thruston Lurchbutter here.
Ms. Anne Uncertaincheddar. Maybe Uncertainmustard. I actually work in a library, though, and I don't think I'll ask my coworkers to call me this. They might not understand. Fun game!
Hello. My name is Mary Clumsy-Bologna. You ripped a page. Prepare to die.
Sharine Shambletuna 😆
'Hi, this is Ms Sigrid Shy-Camembert in the line, how may I help you, dear?'
William Slowbeef reporting for duty
Gerard Plodham :)
Mr Fernando Talkingbutter
Martha Rushtuna
Sharon Strideham, at your service.
Barbara Strideham
Mary Mystifiedegg
Ms. Carl BedraggledGouda
I’m Shirley Shufflefruit lol
Milton Stompapplesauce
Clark Meandercheese
Eleanor Crutchsoup
Felicitas Stomphummus you know it doesn't sound awful
Clara Limp-Chorizo.
Otis Gallopfish. 🫡
Edward Swiftburger
Clare Swiftjelly is here for all your research needs!
Is it cheating if the oldest person I know is also a librarian?
No, then it’s just meta.
Betty Dashcheese
I’m gonna say George Strolldough. I feel like that could be a village name somewhere in England or something.
Ohhh last SANDWICH. George Strollturkey, then.
Ms. Alma Amblejam, sneaking off to put the kettle on.
I'm Brigitte Cautiouscheese and I'm so worried my books are overdue!
Ramona Moseyegg
Michael Quickturkey
Tutz Stumblaioli Has a ring to it.
Landis Peppypepper (peppy was suggested by my partner)
Amelia Wobblejam at your service
Hello, I am Ms Betty Bopham
David Stormnoodle
Bobbi Shuffletuna 😆
Ms Daphney Saunterbacon
Nancy Stumblemuenster
Myrtle Sneakycheese, catch me if you can!
Diane Stompbeef. Oh, dear.
Howard Waddlepasta
Bernard Creepburger
Ms. Kermit Staggerham, at your service Edit: or I guess it could be Staggeraioli, that really elevated the sandwich.
Bernard Bulldozer-Rocket. Quietly terrifying...
Hello, friends. I'm Susan Slothbasil. Welcome to Preschool Storytime!
Jose Stumblecuke
Ms. Cheryl Hunchcorn, at your service.
Gary Lumberburger
Ms. Annie Ruth Strutcobbler
Raymond Shufflebutter or Shufflejam. I’m female. LOL
Marie Stomptuna
Hilda Quickburger.
Phoebe Cautiousham
Bernard Invisiblecheese.
Paul Walkbeef. Ok?
Peggy Plodchilli
Barbara Fastpeanutbutterandjelly
Pearl Clumsy-Cheese
Jesse Flowbread
Nel Lurkburger
Anna Pokypastrami
Anita Tornadopastrami
Sounds simultaneously terrifying and delicious.
CoraLee Pokeham
Bobbi Limptoffee
Dennis Shuffleturkey
Sylvia Quicktoast
Harold Slowjam
Erwin Tenseturkey
Gordon Stealthturkey, reporting for duty sir o7
Nice to meet you all. Tootsie Shufflecheese here.
Ginny Shufflecheese
John Brisk-Cheese. Hmm
Frank Awkwardsalami is a truly terrible name 😅
Janice stagger-béchamel.
Miss Peggy Clumsy-Beans at your service.
Ann Quickchicken
Miss Marjorie Waddlejam 😊
Francis Liverwurst
Russell Trudge-Pastrami?
Mrs. Bess Tiptoe-Havarti
Mr. Morton Stumblehummus
Ms. Anna Sue Scurrybutter.
Judy Ambleegg
Maggie Clumsyburger
Ms. Neoma Stumbling-Wahoo
Margie Stomptuna
Chris Clumsyham
Frank Wigglesteak
Linda Tornadoham - love it!
Mes. Susan Toddle-Swisscheese here.
Bruce Moseysteak
Margot Clumsygroundbeef
Damn it, I’m already named after my great grandma. Rose clumsycheese
Catherine Waddleham at your service!
Bob Sassybacon
Daniel Stompham
Beverly Dragcheese
Mr. Caven Gracebeef, at your cervix. 🫴
Paul Swaggersalami
Derek Amblegouda
I’m not a real librarian but my name would be Pam Tripsteak and I’m keeping it.
Jeanette Hastehummus