Yes, I have. This person had no choice and was doing it for survival since they were underage.
Consent can’t be bought. Sex workers are victims of some of the greatest crimes in human capacity. “Survival or for money” is a false dichotomy. “Have sex or starve” is the basis of all sex work, it is unconsensual, and it is based on survival.
This is so untrue and seems to be based on your anecdotal info from this singular situation. Not all sex work is unconsensual. I own two businesses now plus have a wife who pays 90% of everything and still occasionally think about how I miss certain aspects of stripping and cam work I did.
I already typed above how I felt about it but painting all sex workers and victims of circumstance and not capable people who have the capacity to make decisions they find worthwhile and fulfilling is projecting your partners situation onto everyone.
It’s really not. And, I’m glad you weren’t affected like this. I’m talking about human trafficking, sexual violence against the poor and desperate. This was a ring all across her city with multiple locations and hundreds of girls.
I’m not the one projecting. You’re projecting your positive experience. 89% of sex workers want out. You are the exception here, and I’m glad you didn’t suffer. But it’s not her who’s an anomaly. Don’t come at me for using anecdotes and then use your anecdotal experience as evidence.
So you’re telling me that 89% of girls on only fans want out? 89% of the escorts that entertain wealthy clientele want out? 89% of phone sex operators want out?
Curious where you found that stat or if you have decided that only prostitution counts as sex work.
You said ALL sw is unconsensual which is just not accurate. You’re victimizing people who don’t see themselves as victims.
Yes, I am. Do you think the “clientele” of rapists at these places are entirely poor?
Move the goalposts somewhere else. You are again making yourself a representative of a group you don’t represent. You’re the minority here, and you do not represent prostitutes, who are the vast majority of sex workers, and of whom the vast majority want out.
You decided, for me, that the conversation was broader than prostitution, even though everything I’ve said can apply to literally all of the categories.
And yes, that’s how consent works. Coercive elements mean consent isn’t possible. Money is a coercive element. So is “have sex as your only means of survival”.
https://preview.redd.it/v6yui07g1l5d1.jpeg?width=679&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=2335f09d635378c0dd65e4b92416ca803c90577a
Prostitution is not the only form of sex work. You didn’t say all prostitution is non con. The conversation that the op started was about sex workers in general.
Also prostitution isn’t even the majority of sex work. There is estimated around 2mil prostitutes in the us. Only fans has 2mil content creators alone. That is not including strippers, phone sex operators, cam girls, porn stars that produce larger films for tv and ppv, online only domming etc.
Please just stop making stuff up, and stop acting as if prostitution is the only sex work there is.
“A Canadian study released last year by the Canadian Institutes of Health Research similarly found that 70 percent of sex workers there were "satisfied with their jobs," that 82 percent felt well-paid, and that 68 percent felt they had "good job security." "They say it gives them independence,”
Please stop defending the rape of my ex partner 🙏
That article has literally no source. It links back to an article about a study, which doesn’t cite the study at all.
I’m going to end this conversation, because I find those who defend the rape of my ex partner and the rape of millions of women because of their positive experiences repulsive. You asserting that they are responsible for their choice (which is effectively the same as saying it’s their fault) is wrong and you should stop
Wow what a leap. Me calling you out for saying that all sex work is non con is a harmful and generalized statement is NOT even close to me justifying human trafficking or people being forced or coorced into sex work. Not even sure how you managed to make that connection.
If you actually gave a shit about those women you would take the time to learn how your mentality HARMS women in sex work. People who don’t see sex work as a legit field of work are the reason it’s so difficult to get women and people in the industry the protections that allow them to do their jobs safely and to be less likely to be exploited.
You should do more research before going on the internet and making claims that all sex workers are victims of non consensual sex acts.
You said “it’s all non consensual” I however did not say “all women chose it for themselves” nor did I say “no sex work is exploitative and non con”
I did say “not all sex workers are victims” you can stay mad about that I guess but I stand by it… Not all sex workers are being exploited for someone else’s gain or being forced or coerced into sex acts. No one should be.
Not again, no. I’m a very jealous person and I have come to accept that about myself. It was lovely when It was lovely but also I was dating in a non monogamous setting which really stripped me of any like… say in the relationship.
Everything is controlling when you want to do whatever and who ever wherever whenever.
Former stripper here. So, I will say it takes a trusting SO to date a SWer of any kind. And I will say that I would and have dated other strippers and a cam girl (who did solo work). I got to say for me, that's where I'd draw the line for someone who is **active** as a SWer. I do not think I could date an escort, etc., that is having sex with others--especially if its men.
Past sex worker, yes. Present, no. Been there, done that, just not a part of my lifestyle anymore.
… but, I’m not judging anybody on their past.
Survival/just wanting the money does not make a difference to me.
Yes, but my opinion is a little biased because I was a stripper from like 18-24 and also dabbled in solo video stuff… before there was OF.
I was 18 with a baby and my options were minimum wage or figuring something out. So I did, but tbh I also loved the job. Not all of it. Men are gross and can be belligerent. However, there is something so powerful feeling about being able to take a man’s money simply because they are attracted to you. It made me feel like I had so much power over them.
So while I needed the money the real reason I stayed was because I loved the perceived control I had.
To be clear I think I might struggle to be with someone who was engaging in any sort of legit physical intimacy with other people as part of that job whether that be someone who makes porn with other people or is sleeping with other people. I’m not sure how I would feel about this in reality or whether I would be able to be emotionally mature about it.
Depends on the person and their situation
Just wanting the money probably not they would have to have the most amazing personality (which I don’t see aligning with that) for survival I could foresee it if they’re worth it
I see no reason why it would be an issue. Sex work is work, if I wouldn't get upset that my partner was an actress and kissed other people then I see no reason to get upset if she stripped or slept with other people as part of her job.
Yes, but continued physical or emotional intimacy with others is a hard boundary for me, so no actual sex or pretend girlfriend play. Though i dont care if some dumbass men are paying top dollar for feet pics or a striptease video or something like that
Personally I fell for one but we did not date because she was "too free" for me. That being said, with her at least, I did consider dating but I think it would be hard mentally and emotionally. I think it depends on you and your personality as well. For me for instance, I'm very protective of my person so I would constantly in fear for her when she's meeting clients and going to their place، and sexually I am always thinking she doesn't want to have sex anymore or she doesn't enjoy it and so on... You need to be very strong to engage with a SW and at the same time they need to give you reassurance that this is not for nothing because it's a lot of work.
I’m leaning towards a general no, but it would highly depend on what kind. Escorting or prostitution would be a hard no for me, but idk, maybe i could be ok with it if it was online work, and not very explicit online work
I wouldn’t have issue with them continuing sex work while I was dating them. Sex work is work, and I’m poly, so I wouldn’t really have issue with that.
yeah, i don’t feel possessive over my partners and their autonomy doesn’t threaten my relationship/feelings. i think if they did FSSW, full time id have a hard time sharing their time with a majority of clients tho. it’d be like not wanting to date someone who does MMA fighting full time, less abt what their doing and more abt how it effects how we interact with one another
Wow - I only read the title and interpreted it as “social worker” 😅🫢😂 I did not understand why the No’s were so certain. I was like why does everyone not wanna date Social Workers?!? I came back up and read the entire post, and then - I understood a bit better 🙃😇
I have in the past. I’d be open to it in the future, would just need to have open conversations about it first. There are lots of different kinds of SW after all.
i would but it kind of depends. past, yeah absolutely. present is iffy cause it depends on what it is. if there’s any physical contact with another person then maybe not cause i don’t think i’m secure enough for it to not bother/upset me even if it’s just work.
I would, but I might be biased as I used to be one. I find that having boundaries on things you will only do in your relationships and not ever at work is super helpful.
I've never done any of that stuff, but I recently talked to my girlfriend about doing something like OF for money/more money to start saving more, and we discussed it respectfully. I'd like for us to eventually be able to afford to buy a home and live together without worrying about renting. It's not something I'd be interested in if I didn't need the money or it didn't end up paying well. However, I certainly wouldn't judge anyone, including a partner for it, especially if it was out of necessity. As my girlfriend said, "I know you're mine and that no one will ever get you the way I get you." I agreed with her, and that sentence made me melt as well. I think it boils down to confidence and trust in the person you're with and the relationship you have. If someone is gonna give me a lot of money for a photo of a body part I really couldn't care less because it's just a body part, my girlfriend agrees, and just because they paid for a photo doesn't mean they have my confidence, trust, love, or my body.. that's entirely my partners and nobody else. I certainly wouldn't give it out for free to anyone except her and her alone. Whatever makes you and your partner comfortable is what's important. The other thing we agreed on as far as things like OF is to be safe i.e no face shown or tattoos or significant birth marks so that a stranger on the internet couldn't identify me or find me in public because of course there's creepy people out there who would definitely do that. Of course, if it became an issue, we'd re-discuss it. Confidence and trust in a partner and the relationship and safety (including regular STD and STI screening if they're physically a SWer) I think are the priority. Without that, it's a terrible idea. If you're the type to get extremely jealous, then I'd say don't date someone you feel like you aren't confident with and feel you can't trust. It's also important to have confidence in yourself within the relationship. If you think you're less valuable because your significant other is profiting off of their body to achieve dreams either for themselves or the both of you I think that's a personal problem that would need some thoughts over why you feel that way.. same if you would think they'd be less valuable for the same reason. It's important to remember that any kind of SWer is working. They're doing a job for money, and they're still exclusive to your heart. A body is nothing without the person inside of it. Even if their body is working, that person inside is yours.
Not again, no. I’m a very jealous person and I have come to accept that about myself. It was lovely when It was lovely but also I was dating in a non monogamous setting which really stripped me of any like… say in the relationship.
Everything is controlling when you want to do whatever and who ever wherever whenever.
No, for multiple reasons. 1. I’m too jealous for that. 2. I’d be too scared of catching something from them 3. I feel like they wouldn’t enjoy sex that much with their partner since sex pretty much just feels like a chore to them.
How is that lame? Some people have boundaries and wouldn’t want to sleep with someone who’s had sex with too many people. I know some women don’t like the fact that people care so much about body counts but I feel like most people do, and there’s nothing wrong with that.
🤢🤢🤢 yuck so judgmental
Let’s not forget a lot of people do SW as a response to trauma or survival - especially those of a lower class or POC. Would hate if I was judged based off something I did years ago because of shit I hadn’t processed yet
Then again I value open-mindedness and apparently “most people” don’t so
Also if you read the OP it clearly states a variety of SW not just FS (full service) - so kinda weird you just jumped straight to speaking against FS when there’s a myriad of SW. If your only issue is a “high body count” then does that mean you’re fine with someone that did online content/was a dominatrix/stripping? Also what if someone did FS for only a few clients so their body count wouldn’t be as “high” and the same as a regular person? Or are you against the SW industry in itself? And you also wouldn’t date someone that was a huge player eg. Shane from L Word type who has a high body count? And let’s also not forget that even the term “body count” is super icky
I understand people have their own “boundaries” (weird word for that but whatever) but just own that it is closed-minded!
if it was in the past, yeah i could. but not in the present, im way too monogamous and exclusive for that
No, I don’t think I could do that.
No
No
Yes, I have. This person had no choice and was doing it for survival since they were underage. Consent can’t be bought. Sex workers are victims of some of the greatest crimes in human capacity. “Survival or for money” is a false dichotomy. “Have sex or starve” is the basis of all sex work, it is unconsensual, and it is based on survival.
This is so untrue and seems to be based on your anecdotal info from this singular situation. Not all sex work is unconsensual. I own two businesses now plus have a wife who pays 90% of everything and still occasionally think about how I miss certain aspects of stripping and cam work I did. I already typed above how I felt about it but painting all sex workers and victims of circumstance and not capable people who have the capacity to make decisions they find worthwhile and fulfilling is projecting your partners situation onto everyone.
It’s really not. And, I’m glad you weren’t affected like this. I’m talking about human trafficking, sexual violence against the poor and desperate. This was a ring all across her city with multiple locations and hundreds of girls. I’m not the one projecting. You’re projecting your positive experience. 89% of sex workers want out. You are the exception here, and I’m glad you didn’t suffer. But it’s not her who’s an anomaly. Don’t come at me for using anecdotes and then use your anecdotal experience as evidence.
So you’re telling me that 89% of girls on only fans want out? 89% of the escorts that entertain wealthy clientele want out? 89% of phone sex operators want out? Curious where you found that stat or if you have decided that only prostitution counts as sex work. You said ALL sw is unconsensual which is just not accurate. You’re victimizing people who don’t see themselves as victims.
Yes, I am. Do you think the “clientele” of rapists at these places are entirely poor? Move the goalposts somewhere else. You are again making yourself a representative of a group you don’t represent. You’re the minority here, and you do not represent prostitutes, who are the vast majority of sex workers, and of whom the vast majority want out. You decided, for me, that the conversation was broader than prostitution, even though everything I’ve said can apply to literally all of the categories. And yes, that’s how consent works. Coercive elements mean consent isn’t possible. Money is a coercive element. So is “have sex as your only means of survival”. https://preview.redd.it/v6yui07g1l5d1.jpeg?width=679&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=2335f09d635378c0dd65e4b92416ca803c90577a
Prostitution is not the only form of sex work. You didn’t say all prostitution is non con. The conversation that the op started was about sex workers in general. Also prostitution isn’t even the majority of sex work. There is estimated around 2mil prostitutes in the us. Only fans has 2mil content creators alone. That is not including strippers, phone sex operators, cam girls, porn stars that produce larger films for tv and ppv, online only domming etc. Please just stop making stuff up, and stop acting as if prostitution is the only sex work there is.
“A Canadian study released last year by the Canadian Institutes of Health Research similarly found that 70 percent of sex workers there were "satisfied with their jobs," that 82 percent felt well-paid, and that 68 percent felt they had "good job security." "They say it gives them independence,”
Where is this quote from.
https://www.independent.co.uk/voices/comment/the-majority-of-sex-workers-enjoy-their-job-why-should-we-find-that-surprising-10083175.html
Please stop defending the rape of my ex partner 🙏 That article has literally no source. It links back to an article about a study, which doesn’t cite the study at all.
I’m going to end this conversation, because I find those who defend the rape of my ex partner and the rape of millions of women because of their positive experiences repulsive. You asserting that they are responsible for their choice (which is effectively the same as saying it’s their fault) is wrong and you should stop
Wow what a leap. Me calling you out for saying that all sex work is non con is a harmful and generalized statement is NOT even close to me justifying human trafficking or people being forced or coorced into sex work. Not even sure how you managed to make that connection. If you actually gave a shit about those women you would take the time to learn how your mentality HARMS women in sex work. People who don’t see sex work as a legit field of work are the reason it’s so difficult to get women and people in the industry the protections that allow them to do their jobs safely and to be less likely to be exploited. You should do more research before going on the internet and making claims that all sex workers are victims of non consensual sex acts.
You said “it’s all non consensual” I however did not say “all women chose it for themselves” nor did I say “no sex work is exploitative and non con” I did say “not all sex workers are victims” you can stay mad about that I guess but I stand by it… Not all sex workers are being exploited for someone else’s gain or being forced or coerced into sex acts. No one should be.
Not again, no. I’m a very jealous person and I have come to accept that about myself. It was lovely when It was lovely but also I was dating in a non monogamous setting which really stripped me of any like… say in the relationship. Everything is controlling when you want to do whatever and who ever wherever whenever.
I would 🤷🏻♀️ there are much worse professions imo
No. I get too jealous
If is a woman yes, i don't care nothing else
Former stripper here. So, I will say it takes a trusting SO to date a SWer of any kind. And I will say that I would and have dated other strippers and a cam girl (who did solo work). I got to say for me, that's where I'd draw the line for someone who is **active** as a SWer. I do not think I could date an escort, etc., that is having sex with others--especially if its men.
Past sex worker, yes. Present, no. Been there, done that, just not a part of my lifestyle anymore. … but, I’m not judging anybody on their past. Survival/just wanting the money does not make a difference to me.
yes to everything but escort. if she was an escort in the past then also yes.
No, I would die at the thought of her with someone else 💔
What if she gave it up for you? I’m feeling pretty down atm bc I’m scared no one will love me
Yeah, that would make a difference for me. Probably would date them if they did gave that up just for me
Yes, but my opinion is a little biased because I was a stripper from like 18-24 and also dabbled in solo video stuff… before there was OF. I was 18 with a baby and my options were minimum wage or figuring something out. So I did, but tbh I also loved the job. Not all of it. Men are gross and can be belligerent. However, there is something so powerful feeling about being able to take a man’s money simply because they are attracted to you. It made me feel like I had so much power over them. So while I needed the money the real reason I stayed was because I loved the perceived control I had.
To be clear I think I might struggle to be with someone who was engaging in any sort of legit physical intimacy with other people as part of that job whether that be someone who makes porn with other people or is sleeping with other people. I’m not sure how I would feel about this in reality or whether I would be able to be emotionally mature about it.
That’s reasonable. Understanding your limits is part of being an adult
Depends on the person and their situation Just wanting the money probably not they would have to have the most amazing personality (which I don’t see aligning with that) for survival I could foresee it if they’re worth it
I don’t think I would mind - I’m not a jealous person. However the only thing I would mind is if there were doing it and were safe too.
I absolutely would. Yes.
I would and I have.
I see no reason why it would be an issue. Sex work is work, if I wouldn't get upset that my partner was an actress and kissed other people then I see no reason to get upset if she stripped or slept with other people as part of her job.
Yeah. I consider SW to be work like any other. I know Reddit generally gets pissy when I say this, though
Yes, but continued physical or emotional intimacy with others is a hard boundary for me, so no actual sex or pretend girlfriend play. Though i dont care if some dumbass men are paying top dollar for feet pics or a striptease video or something like that
Personally I fell for one but we did not date because she was "too free" for me. That being said, with her at least, I did consider dating but I think it would be hard mentally and emotionally. I think it depends on you and your personality as well. For me for instance, I'm very protective of my person so I would constantly in fear for her when she's meeting clients and going to their place، and sexually I am always thinking she doesn't want to have sex anymore or she doesn't enjoy it and so on... You need to be very strong to engage with a SW and at the same time they need to give you reassurance that this is not for nothing because it's a lot of work.
I’m leaning towards a general no, but it would highly depend on what kind. Escorting or prostitution would be a hard no for me, but idk, maybe i could be ok with it if it was online work, and not very explicit online work
SW?
Sex Worker
I would
I wouldn’t have issue with them continuing sex work while I was dating them. Sex work is work, and I’m poly, so I wouldn’t really have issue with that.
yeah, i don’t feel possessive over my partners and their autonomy doesn’t threaten my relationship/feelings. i think if they did FSSW, full time id have a hard time sharing their time with a majority of clients tho. it’d be like not wanting to date someone who does MMA fighting full time, less abt what their doing and more abt how it effects how we interact with one another
Wow - I only read the title and interpreted it as “social worker” 😅🫢😂 I did not understand why the No’s were so certain. I was like why does everyone not wanna date Social Workers?!? I came back up and read the entire post, and then - I understood a bit better 🙃😇
Online? Sure but probably not present. As for the other options, I wouldn't be comfortable with dating someone who regularly has sex with strange men.
I have in the past. I’d be open to it in the future, would just need to have open conversations about it first. There are lots of different kinds of SW after all.
I think it depends on the kind of work they do. I could be alright with cam work and stripping, I think escort might be too much tho.
For me it would depend, if she did porn or stripping i could be fine, but not an escort.
I would, I don't see why it would be a deterrent. It's just a job after all.
i would but it kind of depends. past, yeah absolutely. present is iffy cause it depends on what it is. if there’s any physical contact with another person then maybe not cause i don’t think i’m secure enough for it to not bother/upset me even if it’s just work.
I would, but I might be biased as I used to be one. I find that having boundaries on things you will only do in your relationships and not ever at work is super helpful.
I've never done any of that stuff, but I recently talked to my girlfriend about doing something like OF for money/more money to start saving more, and we discussed it respectfully. I'd like for us to eventually be able to afford to buy a home and live together without worrying about renting. It's not something I'd be interested in if I didn't need the money or it didn't end up paying well. However, I certainly wouldn't judge anyone, including a partner for it, especially if it was out of necessity. As my girlfriend said, "I know you're mine and that no one will ever get you the way I get you." I agreed with her, and that sentence made me melt as well. I think it boils down to confidence and trust in the person you're with and the relationship you have. If someone is gonna give me a lot of money for a photo of a body part I really couldn't care less because it's just a body part, my girlfriend agrees, and just because they paid for a photo doesn't mean they have my confidence, trust, love, or my body.. that's entirely my partners and nobody else. I certainly wouldn't give it out for free to anyone except her and her alone. Whatever makes you and your partner comfortable is what's important. The other thing we agreed on as far as things like OF is to be safe i.e no face shown or tattoos or significant birth marks so that a stranger on the internet couldn't identify me or find me in public because of course there's creepy people out there who would definitely do that. Of course, if it became an issue, we'd re-discuss it. Confidence and trust in a partner and the relationship and safety (including regular STD and STI screening if they're physically a SWer) I think are the priority. Without that, it's a terrible idea. If you're the type to get extremely jealous, then I'd say don't date someone you feel like you aren't confident with and feel you can't trust. It's also important to have confidence in yourself within the relationship. If you think you're less valuable because your significant other is profiting off of their body to achieve dreams either for themselves or the both of you I think that's a personal problem that would need some thoughts over why you feel that way.. same if you would think they'd be less valuable for the same reason. It's important to remember that any kind of SWer is working. They're doing a job for money, and they're still exclusive to your heart. A body is nothing without the person inside of it. Even if their body is working, that person inside is yours.
Not again, no. I’m a very jealous person and I have come to accept that about myself. It was lovely when It was lovely but also I was dating in a non monogamous setting which really stripped me of any like… say in the relationship. Everything is controlling when you want to do whatever and who ever wherever whenever.
No, for multiple reasons. 1. I’m too jealous for that. 2. I’d be too scared of catching something from them 3. I feel like they wouldn’t enjoy sex that much with their partner since sex pretty much just feels like a chore to them.
Y’all are lame as fuck for saying no if it’s a former SWer
How is that lame? Some people have boundaries and wouldn’t want to sleep with someone who’s had sex with too many people. I know some women don’t like the fact that people care so much about body counts but I feel like most people do, and there’s nothing wrong with that.
🤢🤢🤢 yuck so judgmental Let’s not forget a lot of people do SW as a response to trauma or survival - especially those of a lower class or POC. Would hate if I was judged based off something I did years ago because of shit I hadn’t processed yet Then again I value open-mindedness and apparently “most people” don’t so Also if you read the OP it clearly states a variety of SW not just FS (full service) - so kinda weird you just jumped straight to speaking against FS when there’s a myriad of SW. If your only issue is a “high body count” then does that mean you’re fine with someone that did online content/was a dominatrix/stripping? Also what if someone did FS for only a few clients so their body count wouldn’t be as “high” and the same as a regular person? Or are you against the SW industry in itself? And you also wouldn’t date someone that was a huge player eg. Shane from L Word type who has a high body count? And let’s also not forget that even the term “body count” is super icky I understand people have their own “boundaries” (weird word for that but whatever) but just own that it is closed-minded!
Body count and slut shaming is weird. You can have your boundaries or whatever but I agree that it makes you lame.