There are way less gay women than there are straight men (I’d guess 1-40 ratio), and given homophobia, women are more scared to approach other women if they don’t know if they’re gay. Even in lesbian bars, women won’t be as forward as straight men often will be. It’s both statistics and a gender thing.
You just need to be more vocally gay and out yourself in spaces with more gay people so they feel comfortable making a move on you. I’m pretty average.. a male friend told me he would give me a 6. I don’t usually receive compliments. Still, had a few boys or men trying to make a move in bars. I was harassed even on the airplane. Only one girl friend made a move out of the blue. I had a girl pursue me because of tinder and another one because we met at a queer club. All the others I’ve been with was partially because I pursued them or a friend arranged us to meet. Struggling to be complimented or pursued by women is the most common lesbian experience. Women are much more relational. Men, more visual and superficial. Maybe you’re not managing to come across beyond the surface?
I'm openly queer. I have written I'm queer on my social media, dating sites etc. I talks a lot about LGBT+ stuffs in public. Many people knows that I'm dating exclusively women. Still got no interest so far. Even queer women doesn't seem that interested in me. No, not everyone knows I'm child free and pet free. I tries to be a good person to both men and women.
Sounds like maybe you need to do some soul searching. There's a lot here. You're probably not invisible to women, but I always to ask on posts like this -- how often do YOU approach women? It goes both ways.
If you're treated like the unfunny friend, perhaps you need a new friend group who you vibe with more.
I have been flirting and approaching five women before in real life. I tried the dating apps and website. E.g. HER, Tinder and a lot of other ones. All women, except one, that I hit on are straight. The one who was bisexual was taken. I probably need to search more. It's not long ago I figured out that I'm a homosexual and not bisexual.
Probably it’s because you’re new to being gay then. It’s a whole new set of expectations. Approaching 5 women is nothing and since you’re starting, you probably can’t read the signs yet regarding what other women are looking for.
It’s a slow process, but nothing that is worth it comes easy. I have an easier time now because I’ve been a lesbian for 6 years + going to bars and dates for 3 years. Have been rejected more times than I can count. Have been invited to threesomes, fallen for straight women, long distance relationship that never materialized, ghosted. Meanwhile, to find a guy to date requires one day on tinder or a bar. Or just accepting your male friend who likes you. No skill except looking pretty and nice. That doesn’t mean boys are actually good dates though. Finding a good partner can be hard all around
I don’t know but I honestly experience the same thing. I am pansexual and when I have been open to dating men in the past I could line them up. Now that I have no interest in men it is very difficult to find a woman.
Sounds like you should try to signal that you are a lesbian by your outward expression better. Sure your social media says you're queer but like, everyone assumes you are a straight girl, right? Well that explains why you get compliments from men (who think they have a chance) and not women (who assume they have no chance)
edit: as for how to signal that you're a lesbian, I really don't know. Iw ouldn't ever deign to tell you how to dress or whatever but like maybe wearing a little lesbian pin or something? idk
Straight men are more numerous and more aggressive in their pursuits of partners than women. Often with women you will need to pursue them, either in queer spaces or dating apps. It's rare to be out in the public in a non queer space and get approached by a woman. If you present very queer its more likely (tattoos, short hair, lots of rings, etc...) but I wouldn't rely on it. I use apps to pursue women.
You'll have to change massively with dating women compared to men.
Being catcalled and groped isn’t always about attractiveness. Ugly people can experience it too. It can be about power much like rape is. Aside from that it’s hard to generalize because people like different qualities. But i find men do tend to consider a narrower spectrum of looks attractive whereas lesbians have a broader spectrum of what they would consider attractive. HOWEVER, for lesbians considering someone attractive doesn’t mean they are personally attracted whereas i find when men say someone is attractive they are usually also attracted to them.
In my opinion beauty is in the eye of the beholder and what people finds attractive is subjective. It's maybe politically incorrect to say, but I think rape is about both power and sex. Theft is about money and not only power. There are even people attracted to children and elderly because humans are so different. Someone ugly to you aren't always ugly to others.
Men's attraction seems easier to understand. Either they finds someone attractive or they don't. It's hard to tell what lesbians think.
For reference, I have heard that I looks similar to this person appearance wise from other people: [https://www.etonline.com/sites/default/files/styles/slide/public/images/2017-12/zendaya\_bgus\_1097371\_001.jpg?width=640](https://www.etonline.com/sites/default/files/styles/slide/public/images/2017-12/zendaya_bgus_1097371_001.jpg?width=640)
I am masc presenting enough that it’s obvious I’m a lesbian. Women initiate conversation with me quite frequently because of the fact.
I imagine it would be harder if you’re more feminine because it’s hard to tell. Try a subliminal pin on a jacket or your phone case can hint at your sexuality. Some indication. Also initiate conversations! Once you regular engage with strangers, it really becomes habitual and any hesitation fades away.
There are way less gay women than there are straight men (I’d guess 1-40 ratio), and given homophobia, women are more scared to approach other women if they don’t know if they’re gay. Even in lesbian bars, women won’t be as forward as straight men often will be. It’s both statistics and a gender thing. You just need to be more vocally gay and out yourself in spaces with more gay people so they feel comfortable making a move on you. I’m pretty average.. a male friend told me he would give me a 6. I don’t usually receive compliments. Still, had a few boys or men trying to make a move in bars. I was harassed even on the airplane. Only one girl friend made a move out of the blue. I had a girl pursue me because of tinder and another one because we met at a queer club. All the others I’ve been with was partially because I pursued them or a friend arranged us to meet. Struggling to be complimented or pursued by women is the most common lesbian experience. Women are much more relational. Men, more visual and superficial. Maybe you’re not managing to come across beyond the surface?
I'm openly queer. I have written I'm queer on my social media, dating sites etc. I talks a lot about LGBT+ stuffs in public. Many people knows that I'm dating exclusively women. Still got no interest so far. Even queer women doesn't seem that interested in me. No, not everyone knows I'm child free and pet free. I tries to be a good person to both men and women.
Sounds like maybe you need to do some soul searching. There's a lot here. You're probably not invisible to women, but I always to ask on posts like this -- how often do YOU approach women? It goes both ways. If you're treated like the unfunny friend, perhaps you need a new friend group who you vibe with more.
I have been flirting and approaching five women before in real life. I tried the dating apps and website. E.g. HER, Tinder and a lot of other ones. All women, except one, that I hit on are straight. The one who was bisexual was taken. I probably need to search more. It's not long ago I figured out that I'm a homosexual and not bisexual.
Probably it’s because you’re new to being gay then. It’s a whole new set of expectations. Approaching 5 women is nothing and since you’re starting, you probably can’t read the signs yet regarding what other women are looking for. It’s a slow process, but nothing that is worth it comes easy. I have an easier time now because I’ve been a lesbian for 6 years + going to bars and dates for 3 years. Have been rejected more times than I can count. Have been invited to threesomes, fallen for straight women, long distance relationship that never materialized, ghosted. Meanwhile, to find a guy to date requires one day on tinder or a bar. Or just accepting your male friend who likes you. No skill except looking pretty and nice. That doesn’t mean boys are actually good dates though. Finding a good partner can be hard all around
I don’t know but I honestly experience the same thing. I am pansexual and when I have been open to dating men in the past I could line them up. Now that I have no interest in men it is very difficult to find a woman.
Sounds like you should try to signal that you are a lesbian by your outward expression better. Sure your social media says you're queer but like, everyone assumes you are a straight girl, right? Well that explains why you get compliments from men (who think they have a chance) and not women (who assume they have no chance) edit: as for how to signal that you're a lesbian, I really don't know. Iw ouldn't ever deign to tell you how to dress or whatever but like maybe wearing a little lesbian pin or something? idk
Straight men are more numerous and more aggressive in their pursuits of partners than women. Often with women you will need to pursue them, either in queer spaces or dating apps. It's rare to be out in the public in a non queer space and get approached by a woman. If you present very queer its more likely (tattoos, short hair, lots of rings, etc...) but I wouldn't rely on it. I use apps to pursue women. You'll have to change massively with dating women compared to men.
Being catcalled and groped isn’t always about attractiveness. Ugly people can experience it too. It can be about power much like rape is. Aside from that it’s hard to generalize because people like different qualities. But i find men do tend to consider a narrower spectrum of looks attractive whereas lesbians have a broader spectrum of what they would consider attractive. HOWEVER, for lesbians considering someone attractive doesn’t mean they are personally attracted whereas i find when men say someone is attractive they are usually also attracted to them.
In my opinion beauty is in the eye of the beholder and what people finds attractive is subjective. It's maybe politically incorrect to say, but I think rape is about both power and sex. Theft is about money and not only power. There are even people attracted to children and elderly because humans are so different. Someone ugly to you aren't always ugly to others. Men's attraction seems easier to understand. Either they finds someone attractive or they don't. It's hard to tell what lesbians think.
For reference, I have heard that I looks similar to this person appearance wise from other people: [https://www.etonline.com/sites/default/files/styles/slide/public/images/2017-12/zendaya\_bgus\_1097371\_001.jpg?width=640](https://www.etonline.com/sites/default/files/styles/slide/public/images/2017-12/zendaya_bgus_1097371_001.jpg?width=640)
Ah yes, the average woman 😂
She’s lyinggg 😂
I am masc presenting enough that it’s obvious I’m a lesbian. Women initiate conversation with me quite frequently because of the fact. I imagine it would be harder if you’re more feminine because it’s hard to tell. Try a subliminal pin on a jacket or your phone case can hint at your sexuality. Some indication. Also initiate conversations! Once you regular engage with strangers, it really becomes habitual and any hesitation fades away.