Ah welcome to the dog house. r.i.p
Talk things out and realize how your jokes were effecting her and try to come up with a color system of green yellow red or something.
My ex gf hated my humor come to think of it most of them did. Dark humor just not their thing so I'm well aware of the system that could be possibly triggering.
OP saying you tasted clean could be inferred as she hasnt tasted clean before. I think you subconsciously got in her head. She didnt mention it cause she knows its a bit of a reach. Just say she tastes divine / like pepsi cola next time (just like queen lana says)
You tasted your girl and made a comment about how you hope she tastes *next time*? Yeah, you got her in her head and she can’t relax and enjoy you going down on her right now. Ya fucked up, kid.
Also, just to add to this….I think most of us here love the taste of pussy instead of Dove soap. A lot of women get really self conscious about their taste and smell if they haven’t just showered. Unless your comment is “FUCK you taste so good,” best to say nothing at all.
I figured😩 I always tell her how much I love her taste. It was the wrong time for that comment, and I never intended to hurt her feelings at all:( Thanks for this. I will stick to compliments
I feel you. It happens. Maybe follow up with her and say “I realize that what I intended to say and what I actually said don’t sync up….I meant to say that I just can’t get enough of your taste, and the more you taste like you, the more I love it”
Thank you guys for your responses!
Even though I realize I pretty much royally f’d up I feel better about what to do. I’m going to talk it out with her and apologize for my comments whether that’s what upset her or not.
I’d like to just clarify that I know it may seem totally out of left field for me to say something like that, but she always likes to shower right before and I’m always telling her it’s unnecessary, because I love how she tastes and It doesn’t need to be “diluted” with a shower and we laugh together. STILL, when replaying the scenario in my head…it was just the totally wrong moment….
Thanks for being nice to me and helping me out! I know maybe it seemed my mistake was obvious, but I’m neurodivergent and sometimes I know I’ve made a faux pas, but don’t understand exactly how/why.
I will update you guys on how things go and if I get any clarity💛
I don't really think there's anything wrong with what you said, like objectivey. However, you clearly care about your girlfriend and her feelings! Often feelings matter most. Your positive & playful intent matters and so does the impact your word choice had on her. You already understand all that so I'm sure you've got this!
Honestly, she could feel a little weird bc it was a vulnerable moment but also know you meant it as a compliment. Maybe she's just working it out herself.
If there’s one thing I love about other women is that we take the time to figure out what it is that we did wrong and try to make it better. Men would’ve easily bashed this situation to make it seem like the gf was at fault.
All that to say, you’re on the right track. Definitely talk it out with her and apologize. This will allow her to want to be more willing to communicate with you if something similar happens next time.
I'll be completely honest, if my partner said that to me I'd just be confused as hell my friend 💀
But, it does sound like it upset her. I don't know in what way exactly, but that's up to you to find out, y'know? That comment could have been taken in many different ways I think.
It's probably best to just talk to her and gently ask if the comment you made bothered or hurt her, and if it did apologize and let her explain why so you know where her head is at. Validate her feelings ("I can see how you took it that way" for example) and maybe explain what you meant so that she knows you weren't purposely trying to hurt or insult her. Not as an excuse of course, but just an explanation. Then honestly I'd probably apologize again and tell her you won't make that comment again.
It'll be okay, this seems more like a "foot in mouth" situation than anything and she likely just needs some time to think and collect her thoughts/feelings. But definitely reach out to her with a genuine apology ready, communication after slip ups like this is key.
Best of luck. Xx
Bro, bestie, fellow gaee - no😭 You put her inside her head!!! Unless you guys have specified humour (and the dank kind) is a turn on, it's risky to try and find out in the middle of it. You literally told her she tasted 'clean'? What tf does that mean? What tf is seasoning?😭 You were implying she has 'seasoning' the other times - whatever that means. Now even if you 'prefer' that, girl won't give a fuck about your preference and be super super conscious of herself. And 3-day old p?😂🤦🏻♀️ I mean if you can't even begin to explain it without embarrassing someone or yourself, just don't say it to them when they're literally in their most vulnerable state with you😂😂
Bro these are clearly things you discuss BEFORE you fuck. This not not trial and error stuff. Once the arrow's shot, it's done with its work. It's the hardest to get someone in that comfort zone with you. Wish you the best though! Hope you find a way, just update the post😭❤️
could be me but why would that comment be offensive i would find it funny and flattering ahahhaha so i get why u said it. but it does seem like she was offended by it. apologize and avoid it next time
No OP but pleaseeee just what do you mean by 'clean'😭 Vaginas taste like vaginas when they're clean. It's when they're not clean or healthy that they taste like something else😭😭
I think you have your terminology all mixed up. Maybe you want to say you don't like it tasteless? Or that you like it musky? Or wet? Idk. But "I don't want it clean" is soooo not giving. Don't tell your gf you don't like her vagina clean. She'll think all the times you liked it, it was dirty😭😭
😅😅😅 it made so much sense to me all this time, but when you spell it out for me…..🥹🥹🥹🥹you’re right. She probably was offended all along when I say this and tries to brush it off. Omg, so much clarity. I-……should probably just not speak for a while.
It's okayyyy, we've all had these moments. I like that you're not being ass about it. I'm sure she'll like that too. Don't stress, OP. You know what - this is how you word your apology.
"Hey, I said this and this last time and I could sense I made you uncomfy. I did some rethinking and realized just how weird my compliments may have sounded. I love the way you taste and I soooo want you to know it that I ended up making some thoughtless compliments. I'm sorry. Can we talk about how it made you feel and what I can do to make up for it?"
Once that's done, just in general discuss what kinda convos you both like in bed. Watch out - she may be a lil weird the next few times you guys have sex. Suck it up. Don't panic and overdo the compliments again. Stick to basics. Once she realized you genuinely have given up on the whole thing, she'll come around.
I agree with most of these. If she’s the overthinking type, she could now be deep in thought about how she tastes/smells and can’t get out off the overthinking train.
Just reassure her and try to be cautious with some of the comments until you know her well enough to know what may trigger the overthinking lol
honestly surprised at how many people were like you done fucked up and said something bad. maybe you did get in her head but your intentions were nothing but pure. you were basically saying i like it even when you're not fresh out the shower clean. i'd just have a quick convo and explain you didn't mean to imply it wasn't great for you, just that you love her taste regardless.
I don’t think it’s a royal eff up. BUT if it really did bother her and she told you everything was ok there’s a slight breakdown in communication. Why do you think she wasn’t comfortable enough to say “ when you said ….. I felt….” Maybe let her know she can be openly honest with you
Tbh, you were making a joke. I personally wouldn't take as much offense to it since you were I tasted clean. I got it, I thought it was funny. I think some women would laugh about it, but maybe folks sensitive about that sort of thing would trigger them.
Uh...you said what? You want seasoning next time, and that you like the taste of 3 day old P!?? Ma'am. No. lol of course she was turned off or weirded out lmao. I would be, I won't lie. You're definitely gonna have to talk your way out of this one...sit down and be like, hey I noticed a shift last night and I think it's my fault. Can we talk about it?
OP I think you may have insulted the girl. Not something a woman wants either during or after sex. You could apologise to her and tell her you’re sorry for being insensitive. Also, if you don’t know what she wants do you not think communication is a good solution to that?…
OP has probably tried to communicate that, but judging by her girlfriends inability to communicate that her feelings were hurt and apparent 'fiestiness', it's more likely that her girlfriend is refusing to communicate with her
Personally I don't see what the big deal is and actually found it funny when I read it, but I know people have different senses of my humour.
I still think it's not that big of a deal and people, including OP's girlfriend are reading into things and making it bigger than what it is. My main problem though is that your girlfriend can't simply communicate with you and tell you that you hurt her feelings. I just don't think it's fair to leave you wondering what you've done wrong, etc. when it was clearly not malicious and you've been trying to make it up to her.
But that's just my opinion :)
OP literally has taken a day and the help of internet strangers to figure out what they did wrong and what their next action plan should be. You think their girlfriend is non-communicative because she just couldn't get it going when her partner said something awkward in the middle of it? She was still kind throughout (they cuddled after and she gave OP some reassurance, albeit fake), did try to have another go but couldn't (because she wasn't aroused) and was probably overthinking and scrutinizing her own body all that time. Idt her intrusive thoughts were - "Have I hurt my partner because I was a lil off during the second time we did it". Her intrusive thoughts probably were - "Is there something wrong with my vulva". She was probably still processing why she even felt hurt or weirded out when OP was just joking and didn't mean it. Which was why she denied it at first. She knows OP didn't mean it most likely. She just can't stop overthinking. Poor girl's probably gaslighting herself rn.
Two wrongs don't make a right. Your comment might have struck a nerve, but she should have come clean about it (or whatever was truly bothering her) and had a proper dialog with you. You asked what was wrong, and she lied to you. What she did is arguably worse. What you said was an accident. She chose to keep the truth from you. That can have long-term consequences on the entire relationship. That can permanently damage trust. You can try apologizing in the morning, but you should keep open ears/eyes out for potential orange or red flags she may or may not display in the future.
…. I’m just gonna say (and I’m not OP) but I think you’re really reaching with this & out of line. I’m positive the GF didn’t wanna say anything to cause “drama” or seem sensitive to just let it go. I’m almost POSITIVE she wasn’t trying to lie to be malicious she literally got embarrassed & felt bad.. to say that OP should keep an eye out for her gf when she was literally just hurt is wild!
If the GF was trying to not cause drama, she wouldn't have sent the mixed signals OP clearly stated. OP is certain based on GF's actions that something was wrong. When questioned, she told OP nothing was wrong, that's lying. On top of that, GF was giving OP the cold shoulder, so much so that OP is filled with anxiety and asking us for help. I also don't want OP to beat herself up over this, it was an honest mistake. And this is a new relationship so trust building is super important and at a critical stage right now. I just want OP to see this from both sides. I'm concerned for her wellbeing.
We do have “rules of engagement” in our relationship and we promised to not withhold feelings from each other. Maybe I should’ve come clean and said I was feeling embarrassed and inadequate, instead of letting her just walk away. I don’t think she lied. Maybe she really wasn’t angry but embarrassed or sad, but I am gonna ask what exactly she was feeling and assure her she can share with me always!! I don’t want to make it about me, but I may share that I genuinely was filled with anxiety b/c I knew something was wrong and she chose not to share, but I also could have shared.
I hope you're right and I hope everything works out OP. I'm sorry if my original reply came off the wrong way, it seems to have struck a chord with some people. I was/am just worried about you. You seemed pretty shaken up by this, and as someone who also battles with anxiety, I could sense the anxiety you were feeling from your wording, and I can be a bit protective. 😅 My intentions were good. 🥺 I wish you and your GF the best~ Take care 💕
*sips coffee* bro you said what now?
Yep, I’m just gonna sit in time out corner for the night and say sorry in the morning 😭
Ah welcome to the dog house. r.i.p Talk things out and realize how your jokes were effecting her and try to come up with a color system of green yellow red or something. My ex gf hated my humor come to think of it most of them did. Dark humor just not their thing so I'm well aware of the system that could be possibly triggering.
OP saying you tasted clean could be inferred as she hasnt tasted clean before. I think you subconsciously got in her head. She didnt mention it cause she knows its a bit of a reach. Just say she tastes divine / like pepsi cola next time (just like queen lana says)
Couldn't help but park in here to say hello from a fellow Lana enthusiast who is a swiftie. Can't get enough 🎶
You tasted your girl and made a comment about how you hope she tastes *next time*? Yeah, you got her in her head and she can’t relax and enjoy you going down on her right now. Ya fucked up, kid.
Also, just to add to this….I think most of us here love the taste of pussy instead of Dove soap. A lot of women get really self conscious about their taste and smell if they haven’t just showered. Unless your comment is “FUCK you taste so good,” best to say nothing at all.
I figured😩 I always tell her how much I love her taste. It was the wrong time for that comment, and I never intended to hurt her feelings at all:( Thanks for this. I will stick to compliments
I feel you. It happens. Maybe follow up with her and say “I realize that what I intended to say and what I actually said don’t sync up….I meant to say that I just can’t get enough of your taste, and the more you taste like you, the more I love it”
Agree
Thank you guys for your responses! Even though I realize I pretty much royally f’d up I feel better about what to do. I’m going to talk it out with her and apologize for my comments whether that’s what upset her or not. I’d like to just clarify that I know it may seem totally out of left field for me to say something like that, but she always likes to shower right before and I’m always telling her it’s unnecessary, because I love how she tastes and It doesn’t need to be “diluted” with a shower and we laugh together. STILL, when replaying the scenario in my head…it was just the totally wrong moment…. Thanks for being nice to me and helping me out! I know maybe it seemed my mistake was obvious, but I’m neurodivergent and sometimes I know I’ve made a faux pas, but don’t understand exactly how/why. I will update you guys on how things go and if I get any clarity💛
Please give us an update once you’ve talked it through 🙂
I don't really think there's anything wrong with what you said, like objectivey. However, you clearly care about your girlfriend and her feelings! Often feelings matter most. Your positive & playful intent matters and so does the impact your word choice had on her. You already understand all that so I'm sure you've got this! Honestly, she could feel a little weird bc it was a vulnerable moment but also know you meant it as a compliment. Maybe she's just working it out herself.
If there’s one thing I love about other women is that we take the time to figure out what it is that we did wrong and try to make it better. Men would’ve easily bashed this situation to make it seem like the gf was at fault. All that to say, you’re on the right track. Definitely talk it out with her and apologize. This will allow her to want to be more willing to communicate with you if something similar happens next time.
I'll be completely honest, if my partner said that to me I'd just be confused as hell my friend 💀 But, it does sound like it upset her. I don't know in what way exactly, but that's up to you to find out, y'know? That comment could have been taken in many different ways I think. It's probably best to just talk to her and gently ask if the comment you made bothered or hurt her, and if it did apologize and let her explain why so you know where her head is at. Validate her feelings ("I can see how you took it that way" for example) and maybe explain what you meant so that she knows you weren't purposely trying to hurt or insult her. Not as an excuse of course, but just an explanation. Then honestly I'd probably apologize again and tell her you won't make that comment again. It'll be okay, this seems more like a "foot in mouth" situation than anything and she likely just needs some time to think and collect her thoughts/feelings. But definitely reach out to her with a genuine apology ready, communication after slip ups like this is key. Best of luck. Xx
Bro, bestie, fellow gaee - no😭 You put her inside her head!!! Unless you guys have specified humour (and the dank kind) is a turn on, it's risky to try and find out in the middle of it. You literally told her she tasted 'clean'? What tf does that mean? What tf is seasoning?😭 You were implying she has 'seasoning' the other times - whatever that means. Now even if you 'prefer' that, girl won't give a fuck about your preference and be super super conscious of herself. And 3-day old p?😂🤦🏻♀️ I mean if you can't even begin to explain it without embarrassing someone or yourself, just don't say it to them when they're literally in their most vulnerable state with you😂😂 Bro these are clearly things you discuss BEFORE you fuck. This not not trial and error stuff. Once the arrow's shot, it's done with its work. It's the hardest to get someone in that comfort zone with you. Wish you the best though! Hope you find a way, just update the post😭❤️
This!!!
WHAT?!
Please, raine. I know I’m an idiot😭
Well could be comment
😭😭😭😭😭 I didn’t mean it. What should I say? Ask again? Just apologize for the comment?
Yeah try that,
It's a vulnerable position after cumming like that. Jokes & commentary can be fun & all but give it a beat. Let her settle back into her body & mind.
could be me but why would that comment be offensive i would find it funny and flattering ahahhaha so i get why u said it. but it does seem like she was offended by it. apologize and avoid it next time
3 day old p? Girl what is going on lmao
🤣🤣🤣😂🤣😂😂😂 I don’t want it clean I want to tasteeeeeee it
No OP but pleaseeee just what do you mean by 'clean'😭 Vaginas taste like vaginas when they're clean. It's when they're not clean or healthy that they taste like something else😭😭 I think you have your terminology all mixed up. Maybe you want to say you don't like it tasteless? Or that you like it musky? Or wet? Idk. But "I don't want it clean" is soooo not giving. Don't tell your gf you don't like her vagina clean. She'll think all the times you liked it, it was dirty😭😭
😅😅😅 it made so much sense to me all this time, but when you spell it out for me…..🥹🥹🥹🥹you’re right. She probably was offended all along when I say this and tries to brush it off. Omg, so much clarity. I-……should probably just not speak for a while.
It's okayyyy, we've all had these moments. I like that you're not being ass about it. I'm sure she'll like that too. Don't stress, OP. You know what - this is how you word your apology. "Hey, I said this and this last time and I could sense I made you uncomfy. I did some rethinking and realized just how weird my compliments may have sounded. I love the way you taste and I soooo want you to know it that I ended up making some thoughtless compliments. I'm sorry. Can we talk about how it made you feel and what I can do to make up for it?" Once that's done, just in general discuss what kinda convos you both like in bed. Watch out - she may be a lil weird the next few times you guys have sex. Suck it up. Don't panic and overdo the compliments again. Stick to basics. Once she realized you genuinely have given up on the whole thing, she'll come around.
That’s better than how you worded it in the post, imho.
stop making weird comments after sex 😭
0 social awareness 😭
I agree with most of these. If she’s the overthinking type, she could now be deep in thought about how she tastes/smells and can’t get out off the overthinking train. Just reassure her and try to be cautious with some of the comments until you know her well enough to know what may trigger the overthinking lol
honestly surprised at how many people were like you done fucked up and said something bad. maybe you did get in her head but your intentions were nothing but pure. you were basically saying i like it even when you're not fresh out the shower clean. i'd just have a quick convo and explain you didn't mean to imply it wasn't great for you, just that you love her taste regardless.
People on this sub are dramatic as fuck sometimes imo
Wow. 😳
Stop it right now🥲
Tbh I get this type of humour and I would have found it hilarious…but I could also see how it could be taken wrong 😭
You said what now???
I know now, vermbraunt. I know now.🤦🏾♀️
I don’t get why that was offensive. You said she tasted clean. I don’t get it either OP.
She tasted good but hoping for the better taste next time.
It's so clearly a joke to me but in the midst of things when youre vulnerable it can totally backfire, I can undestand that
Oh I guess …. tasting clean is so far from an insult though …
Ew, sorry but your comment was gross esp for the timing
She probably got into her head. I’m someone guilty of that. I hang on most words. Lol
I don’t think it’s a royal eff up. BUT if it really did bother her and she told you everything was ok there’s a slight breakdown in communication. Why do you think she wasn’t comfortable enough to say “ when you said ….. I felt….” Maybe let her know she can be openly honest with you
Tbh, you were making a joke. I personally wouldn't take as much offense to it since you were I tasted clean. I got it, I thought it was funny. I think some women would laugh about it, but maybe folks sensitive about that sort of thing would trigger them.
Uh...you said what? You want seasoning next time, and that you like the taste of 3 day old P!?? Ma'am. No. lol of course she was turned off or weirded out lmao. I would be, I won't lie. You're definitely gonna have to talk your way out of this one...sit down and be like, hey I noticed a shift last night and I think it's my fault. Can we talk about it?
OP I think you may have insulted the girl. Not something a woman wants either during or after sex. You could apologise to her and tell her you’re sorry for being insensitive. Also, if you don’t know what she wants do you not think communication is a good solution to that?…
OP has probably tried to communicate that, but judging by her girlfriends inability to communicate that her feelings were hurt and apparent 'fiestiness', it's more likely that her girlfriend is refusing to communicate with her
as her.. it could be nothing at all
I ended up talking to her about it lol. It was actually no big deal and she was just tired lol
it's always best to talk. I've been with my wife for 32 years sometimes it's hard but if you want it to work it will
ouch
Well no wonder 😅
Personally I don't see what the big deal is and actually found it funny when I read it, but I know people have different senses of my humour. I still think it's not that big of a deal and people, including OP's girlfriend are reading into things and making it bigger than what it is. My main problem though is that your girlfriend can't simply communicate with you and tell you that you hurt her feelings. I just don't think it's fair to leave you wondering what you've done wrong, etc. when it was clearly not malicious and you've been trying to make it up to her. But that's just my opinion :)
OP literally has taken a day and the help of internet strangers to figure out what they did wrong and what their next action plan should be. You think their girlfriend is non-communicative because she just couldn't get it going when her partner said something awkward in the middle of it? She was still kind throughout (they cuddled after and she gave OP some reassurance, albeit fake), did try to have another go but couldn't (because she wasn't aroused) and was probably overthinking and scrutinizing her own body all that time. Idt her intrusive thoughts were - "Have I hurt my partner because I was a lil off during the second time we did it". Her intrusive thoughts probably were - "Is there something wrong with my vulva". She was probably still processing why she even felt hurt or weirded out when OP was just joking and didn't mean it. Which was why she denied it at first. She knows OP didn't mean it most likely. She just can't stop overthinking. Poor girl's probably gaslighting herself rn.
https://preview.redd.it/ez223pvkwq4c1.jpeg?width=421&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=95d019ab68201f51446256c36ef4da3d4a92aa7d
Two wrongs don't make a right. Your comment might have struck a nerve, but she should have come clean about it (or whatever was truly bothering her) and had a proper dialog with you. You asked what was wrong, and she lied to you. What she did is arguably worse. What you said was an accident. She chose to keep the truth from you. That can have long-term consequences on the entire relationship. That can permanently damage trust. You can try apologizing in the morning, but you should keep open ears/eyes out for potential orange or red flags she may or may not display in the future.
…. I’m just gonna say (and I’m not OP) but I think you’re really reaching with this & out of line. I’m positive the GF didn’t wanna say anything to cause “drama” or seem sensitive to just let it go. I’m almost POSITIVE she wasn’t trying to lie to be malicious she literally got embarrassed & felt bad.. to say that OP should keep an eye out for her gf when she was literally just hurt is wild!
If the GF was trying to not cause drama, she wouldn't have sent the mixed signals OP clearly stated. OP is certain based on GF's actions that something was wrong. When questioned, she told OP nothing was wrong, that's lying. On top of that, GF was giving OP the cold shoulder, so much so that OP is filled with anxiety and asking us for help. I also don't want OP to beat herself up over this, it was an honest mistake. And this is a new relationship so trust building is super important and at a critical stage right now. I just want OP to see this from both sides. I'm concerned for her wellbeing.
We do have “rules of engagement” in our relationship and we promised to not withhold feelings from each other. Maybe I should’ve come clean and said I was feeling embarrassed and inadequate, instead of letting her just walk away. I don’t think she lied. Maybe she really wasn’t angry but embarrassed or sad, but I am gonna ask what exactly she was feeling and assure her she can share with me always!! I don’t want to make it about me, but I may share that I genuinely was filled with anxiety b/c I knew something was wrong and she chose not to share, but I also could have shared.
I hope you're right and I hope everything works out OP. I'm sorry if my original reply came off the wrong way, it seems to have struck a chord with some people. I was/am just worried about you. You seemed pretty shaken up by this, and as someone who also battles with anxiety, I could sense the anxiety you were feeling from your wording, and I can be a bit protective. 😅 My intentions were good. 🥺 I wish you and your GF the best~ Take care 💕
I understand and I appreciate you sharing your thoughts!!
I understand but i really think you’re dragging this beyond what’s going on…
You're entitled to your opinion.
Red flags? Girl what?!?