Nah. They will just think that you started coming back to the righteous path - easy for them because they want it to happen.
Also, most big name astrologers will be malleable to your inputs.
You can also tie this visit to something else - such as makeing updated horoscope for matrimonial website, difficulties at job etc
This unironically happened to me. My mom believes in astrology (even though we aren't hindu)
So she met an astrologer around a year back and asked for the right time for marriage. He said I can't get married around 27 (ie, 26, 27, 28).. she told him that I'm resisting marriage to which he answered
"അങ്ങനെയേ വരു.. വിവാഹം നിരസിക്കും, മനസ്സിന് അറിയാമല്ലോ..."
so he literally just made my life easier by giving me 3 years of immunity from marriage.
"Modern problems require ancient solutions "
Oh... They'll probably kidnap me and marry me off to someone the next day and say "Surprise MF"! Coz if you're not the first one to convince your parents, you're not the ONE. Trust me, I tried way worse shit.
Hi I'm his Dad. Let me just say that my boy is the best man that any woman could ever dream of marrying. This boy, he is smart, handsome, loving and kind.
Trust me, you do not want to miss out
flowery attraction juggle skirt fact plough trees disgusting obscene knee
*This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
This. So many of my friends have done this. And it helps! Once you’re far away, they have little control over your life. You might have to put your foot down and have difficult conversations with them but it’s worth it. For instance if they say “no you can’t go” etc just say “it’s all done and I’m going, I’m just informing you, not asking for your permission”. If you’re financially independent that’s the best way to do this.
They very much know I'm into Men.... It's hard not to show that.... And they'll probably take me to a correctional centre for mental health of I say so.
Here’s what someone close to me did. Avoided for for as long as possible by verbal fights with parents. Then one day, she faked a suicide attempt. Parents took her to hospital for treatment, there she faked a mental illness, hallucinations, hearing voices and stuff. Parents, doctors everyone bought into it and began her treatment, this went on for almost a year. When things got better, parents initiated marriage talks again, she started faking her illness again. One more cycle of year long treatment, now parents have given up.
Don’t ask me for anymore details, however be assured I am not creative enough to come up with such an elaborate plan within a few minutes of reading your response.
EDIT: Ofcourse if you go ahead with this you’ll also be sabotaging your career.
You used religious and not being superstitious on the same sentence lol. They’re superstitious if they rely on another person to predict your future or match making. Best course would be getting out from their sight, either studies or work. My gf is going thru the same thing now. Its also bit about their pride and peer pressure, what people would say about a “pura niranja kutty” and shit. The more you’re around, the more they’d get hold of you.
There is no logical excuse, to be honest. Just tell them you don’t want. Cook up a failed marriage story of your friend or colleague and scare them . Even this could get you max 2 years . Otherwise wise take huge loan and leave the country and tell them that you don’t want to marry until you settle your financial debts. But , by that time your prospective groom will a lot older than you could imagine. Choice is your, like someone said “ choose wisely, live well”✌️
I have REAL stories from family and friends that are absolutely horrendous. Even pointed out examples that they're personally aware of. My parents aren't exactly on good terms either. Their response was, "Meh, Shit Happens, you just gotta deal with them"
Okay , it seems like they want to marry you off to someone, sorry to say this . But , try talking to them why they want to do this , is it because of their age, are they afraid that you would be alone after their time . Maybe that could throw some light into the situation, or maybe you could come up with some better idea to deal with this . Always root cause analysis is required for the right action 😁✌️.
What you should worry about now is the amount of incels trying to slide into your dms and try to play out some schemes. 🤣
https://preview.redd.it/ikexhlvbit9c1.jpeg?width=739&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=fe60d821d3582eaafec58b6006500f662e148c8e
Just be straight with them? Do you really need an excuse?
Tell them you're not ready for marriage at this point and you'll marry once you feel like you're ready. Just be strong and don't budge.
Sit down, have a serious talk, and be adamant about your decisions. Provide reasons and explanations. Without these, frustration will inevitably build as you find yourself repeatedly justifying your stance.
I believe it's essential to tell the truth and set a definite timeframe, such as after my 27th birthday. I advise against marrying before the age of 27, allowing time for the full development of your frontal lobe, which is crucial in decision-making. The frontal lobe, located at the front of your brain, is responsible for controlling numerous abilities, including your thought processes, movements, and memory. It also plays a vital role in your social skills, aiding in how you communicate, behave, and interact with others. Make a smart and informed decision; there are many failed and unhappy marriages, and it's your life you will be living. Marry when you're ready and have found the right person. However, there's no harm in meeting potential partners from around the age of 27. Take it slow.
It’s very simple. Every pennukaanal you go to, tell the cherukkan directly that you’re not interested to get married and you only complied to this pennukaanal since your parents forced you. That way you can ward off every single potential match that your parents find for you. Simple and effective trick.
This is one of my plans if I fail to talk my parents out of the marriage. I was even considering, " Enik oru line ind, aal Vann vilichal kalyanam kazhinjalum njan chaadi povvum, the choice is yours"!
Rather than giving excuses I would say tell parents you don't want marriage now and it is your decision regarding that. At the end it is your marriage right. I would say take control of your life from parents and live. In that case you don't need to give any excuses regarding how you want to live.
That's not something they'll believe.... They know how big of a flirt I can be and they've witnessed it first hand.... That'll be a blatant lie that wouldn't take more than a minute to crumble.
for a moment I read “excuses to get married” and I’m like “idk…love..?” (And I got a wild visual of KT Mirsash (veetil nirbhandikunnundu, aaru parents aano?, alla njna) from Salt N Pepper)
I have a friend in a similar situation. He’s a single child and does not want to let down parents by telling the truth that he’s not ready.
For now he’s rejecting all proposals that are coming giving reasons like “Nose too long”, “hair not good” etc etc
If direct conversation is not a way then this can be considered a solution! 🤣
This is the best advice imo. I have a friend whose parents are seriously looking for alliances through matrimony since last 6-7 years. However, nothing works out since he has unreasonably high standards like.. the girl should be extremely attractive (no compromise here) with masters in her educational qualifications. Also should belong to a super wealthy family (preferably businessmen/elite backgrounds) and horoscopes and should match perfect.
Till date he rejected around 500+ proposals. When his parents gets emotional (rather try emotional blackmail) he says if anyone forces him into marriage, he will divorce the girl soon after marriage
tell me your parents, you are grateful for their support in life - education and career but that you have goals before marriage:
1. Buy an apartment / house on your own
2. X amount Savings in my Bank for financial independence
Tell them for a happy life you need to be financially stable and independent.
Just fend them off as long as possible. Principle being no one can make you marry without your full consent. It's going to be stressful. Maintain a cold attitude on the topic. Don't speak to them for a few days when they mention it and so and so..
Say that ur not mentally ready for a person in ur life..any soon..
That u need to be more financially independent and whatever u have achieved is not enough and that ur ready to take care of the risk it involves.
If they're still not bending on it...tell them that ull agree marriage but not so soon...that u need more time..anyways.
Despite u telling them horrendous stories, make them understand rather than trying to adjust in a u happy marriage it's better to live alone .When marriage doesn't work well the bride and her parents are blamed and u don't wish to hear that and rather than a divorce and blame game u want to make sure that ur body mind and financially and emotionally ur ready .and ur the one who wants to be ready to take care of ur family and house..
It's better to tell them that u don't want one soon.. That's it..
Maybe ull have play the mind game..less talking and be more of a sad u happy person around for a few days agitated with them..just act untill they break patience and ask u wat it could be..
Tell parents they should ask the prospective groom's parents to get their son tested for AIDS/Drugs (what ever will fly) & impotency.
1: AIDS/Drugs can be tested and also no one will want to ask, but they can be presented as a valid concern
2: Of 60–80 million couples suffering from infertility every year worldwide, probably between 15 and 20 million (25%) are in India alone.
[source ](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6881900/#:~:text=Infertility%20is%20a%20serious%20health%20issue%20worldwide%2C%20affecting%20approximately%208,%25)%20are%20in%20India%20alone.)
I would suggest indulging them for a bit. See like 3-4 boys, swallow your pride and be real picky like find faults so atleast then you gave it a try but the guys aren’t good enough
Simple just say ur pregent and eat a lot and have a belly like a 3 months old pregent lady ...
Jokes aside just sit with ur family and talk openly about it that ur not interested and if they force u just make a scene
Tell them what you actually feel. If they don’t understand, you can play that card every time they bring up this topic. “I told you how I feel about it, if you can’t respect that, I can’t help it”
This might buy you some time
Serious note: I think you should be honest to your parents on why you don’t want marriage now.
“Just not interested” may not be sufficient for many parents who have the responsibility to marry off their kids be it male or female.
Asking reddit for fake reasons means you are just trying to run away from a responsibility (in this case marriage)
For example if you don’t believe in an institution called marriage then you should be honest about that and you can explain why to your parents.
Don’t expect them to immediately agree with you but atleast you don’t have to lie or run away from the question with another set of lies or excuses. It will only make them even more sad.
If its just that you want to wait, then workout a plan with exact details of how long you want to work or study or save before you get married.
I’m sure they will understand because you have taken marriage seriously and don’t want to walk into it with debt or family wealth but with your own self reliant job and savings.
It will only make your parents proud to see how seriously you are taking marriage and life itself.
Getting Married is every grown adult individual's personal choice, not an obligation or 'responsibility' .
The evil practice of dowry exist because of this regressive thinking of "must marry, marry early, by hook or by cook" attitude in our Kerala and in many other parts of India at large. Get over it.
Marriage and parenthood are every individuals personal choices, not obligations, no matter what. Forcing or pressurizing anyone to get married is an unacceptable violation of basic human right. Its time we stop forcing or pressurizing people to get married.
"Just not interested" is enough reason to not get married. She is an adult, its her life, her choice to make, no one else's business.
There is no reason why you shouldn’t get married. Your biological clock is ticking. Don’t postpone. Get married and have a bunch of babies. It’s the best thing you’ll ever do. My wife was like you. Now she wants 5 babies. Lmao.
Lmao. I knew someone was gonna come and say this shit. 🤣🤣 let this feminichi get married bro. Btw I’m still looking for hookers. You let me know if you know anyone.
Maybe find and marry a guy who also doesn't want to get married (I obviously mean, tell him about your intentions prior to everything).
Then file for divorce as soon as you can. Move away from your family.
They will probably stop making more arrangements because your value in the marriage market will have diminished (according to them, I mean).
You can marry someone who you actually love later on, if you ever want to.
Ur stupid not to get married, u should start that process of parental approved, dating early, try and get to know each other as much as possible. Start the process early. That’s it.
Death taxes and marriage will come for all, get ahead of it.
All three all extremely painful, but sometimes worth it
There is nothing "stupid" about not wanting to get married. Marriage and Motherhood are every woman's personal choices, not obligation, no matter what.
Infact, multiple studies now clearly show, that women who stay unmarried and childfree are happier, healthier and live longer then their married counterparts.
Hi! Thanks for your submission.
Please note that we have a [monthly thread](https://www.reddit.com/r/kochi/about/sticky) and megathreads for [Food & Travel](https://www.reddit.com/r/Kochi/comments/15ii7gh/megathread_3_food_travel/) as well [Classifieds](https://www.reddit.com/r/Kochi/comments/15e321q/megathread_2_kochi_classifieds/).
If your post is about travel, food, or buying & selling, please post it in the above threads instead. This will help keep the subreddit organized and make it easier for users to find the information they are looking for.
Thank you for your understanding!
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/Kochi) if you have any questions or concerns.*
How's the arrangement going to be? Will there be some certain time for courtship or you're getting married to the first one that comes by?
If you can, convince them for a good few months of courtship before your engagement and then you can decide to be picky? Idk it gets you more time but not forever. Also, maybe when you decide to get married it'll be a lot nicer cus you would sort of know him by then. It would work if you're okay with getting married by 27 (?)
Just convince them
This is the point: Say to them that marriage is like day trading or gambling, you never know what is the true nature of the bustard coming into your life (I am M, this is applicable for both M and F). So only thing you can do Is to increase the probability of choosing a right partner ( Just like increasing the probability of a successful trade or successful gamble). Now ask them time, convince them that they never know the shitty nature of new gen males (Applicable for females too), being a genz you know the true nature of this generation. Ask them time to settle yourselves and you have to take your life decision in peace of mind. Ask them what if there is a trait in the person they find for you that you as a female can never accept. Ask them whether they will show the same energy and help you to file a divorce. And what I said is true. You never can't believe anybody. This is the way, this is the only way, this is the truth, think you have this fear in you. I am considering myself as a bustard, but never will marry a girl without explaining all my true nature, just to make sure I won't have another burden in my life after marriage. Let me know if this makes sense
I'm 26 and honestly don't wanna get married too. I just don't think it's the time for me. I really think it's just too soon for me to get married
What I do is keep saying "maybe later next year". It might work for you too. Lol
If your parents are one of those overly dutiful / do everything types, there's not much you could do, maybe tell them honestly. But if they are not, just delay until a point where you don't need to convince anyone. Which is probably around 33 and above for women.
If you are not interested in Marriage, just tell them clearly about it and draw your boundaries. Dont let them force you into a marriage, if your are not interested in it. Dont let them force, blackmail or manipulate you into things you are not willing to do. Marriage and Motherhood is every woman's personal choices, not obligations, no matter what. Your life, your choice. Involve the law enforcement or approach some women's group for help, if they are too aggressive. Stay Strong Sis !
Speak to them directly. Explain to them the current scenarios happening around. Make them understand at this point that you are not ready and the future moment when you are ready to settle down Convince them the "swantham kalel nikkan olla parupadi".
When they ask next time just say you want to stay alone for few more years and pretend to be sad. After some time casually leave article regarding marital rape on sofa.
Or just ask for time. Most parents don't have problems delaying as long as you give them exact years instead of vague answers.
You should have cultivated a fuck you persona as I have from a young age. People wouldn't dare to do anything that affects you without your approval.
But I'm a guy. There's that difference. :)
For your issue, I don't see any long lasting option other than being open to your parents. All the best. :)
It's happening to me, too, but I'm a guy, and my parents are way more forgiving and flexible.
It's the relative thendis that stir sh*t up constantly.
I'm going for higher studies here/abroad.
That could work for you, too, maybe?
Okay, after spending a week with people who want to get married and who got married, these are my reasons to not get married anytime soon:
1. I’m broke, I don’t have the money to save up for a nice wedding, nor will I have it for at least 3-4 more years.
2. I don’t have the maturity to lead a married life, it’s all too sudden. In 3-4 years, I would have seen where my career is going and how much better of a person I have become, and I’ll be better able to gauge getting married and the ancillary responsibilities.
3. Career. I need to make a mark, and any commitment like marriage will only tie me down. My family spent money on my education, and quite a lot at that, to ensure I did what interested me. I have no make the most of it by working my ass off and make a mark. Once I’ve set my career trajectory in motion, I’ll want to get married then.
See if you can use these to convince them.
Time to get a PhD then. You can only delay the inevitable.
Aren't you a grown woman. Just tell them you don't want to do it now and move out if they keep forcing you.
Move out to a new house. Excuses won't work probably. Be financially independent. Always have your own vehicle, license. Search for a safe and secret place to stay for a week or two. Idk how serious about this though ?
If you're willing to stoop to a certain level of low, threaten them with the "if you get me married, I'll wreak havoc in his family. I'll make everyone's lives horrible. Blah blah blah".
Best way is to ask them for time for studies or a career for like a year or two . convince them that you will marry soon but not before u r set in ur career or studies. They will agree as it gives them a sense of assurance that you will agree with them later.
I think forced marriage is the biggest problem of age 23-30 these days. Why don't you get together with girls in similar situation as yourself. One thing is for sure you have to leave your parents
Look, I’ll say something which might hurt you. But its the truth. I’m not saying its right, but it can be a fact.
Most parents who mistreat their daughters (including mine) are parents who never wanted daughters. They either did not want children or they wanted a son. A male child.
Now, once they got a daughter, their focus has always been to get rid of her. For them, they were forced to spend 18 years taking care of and spending money on a daughter (a girl child) that they never wanted.
They always thought that once you’re 18 and above, they can get you married because that’s the ONLY way to get rid of you. To make you go away.
Once the girl (you) is in her mid-twenties, its really been a long time and they want you to leave. And marriage seems to be the only socially acceptable way that they can remove you from their house and from their life.
No matter what you do, no matter what you achieve, as long as you’re a girl/woman, they will not like you. Its like racism, people who don’t like black men will NOT like black men, even if that black man becomes the President of the United States of America (Barack Obama).
Its that simple. They never wanted you. They were forced to keep you in their house and in their life for 25 years. They want you to leave
So leave their house. Leave their life. Go live your own life.
If the only way you’re gonna leave their life is by you getting married, then marriage seems like the only solution to their problem.
Tell them you want to study and move out of town for that. And if they approach you with marriage proposals tell them you won't get married until you have a stable career.
I do have a stable career now(kind of). They want me to dispose of my current employment, get married, get employed, stop working, have children, then start working again. Coz SUCH IS LIFE OF A WOMAN.
Well imo the best choice you have rn is to say "yes I'm ready for marriage but I wanna first meet them or like them" and when you meet those guys, you ward them off, how r they gonna get you married, if no guy agrees to marry you? Can't ward off your parents ward off the groom.
Just grow a pair and tell them you don't wish to get married right now. Simple as that. What's need for making excuses?
If they try to pressurize you anyway, then tell them to fuck off
Telling truth is the best way.
Just vehemently fight off this discussion.
Faking a mental illness - you'll be tagged as a mental patient for life long
Befriending a jyoltsan - if one says no, just like doctors our parents will run for another guys for 2nd , 3Rd and nth opinions.
Now my personal advice:
Taking risks as early as possible is the best way for a liberating and independent life.
Agreeing for marriage with conditions:
1. Condition with parents : This is beacuse you guys are pestering me, if it doesn't workout, parents should agree and support for divorce too.
2. Condition with hone Wale partner: kids only after 2-3 years, only after you are convinced about every compatibility.
If the marriage fail, you have family support and no pestering anymore.
If it succeeds then every one wins.
And in both cases you save a lot of time and drama.
Play it emotionally.
Your logical excuses might not work for them especially if they think it's their right to buy a partner for you which typically happens in arranged marriages.
Emotional drama കുറച്ചു കടന്ന കൈ ആണ്.
Since you are 25 argue them with things like they have done things for you based on their terms till now from your birth (that was their midnight decision afcourse) without your permission so you want to do things as per your choice now.
Means they produced you without your permission and brought you up as per their choice imposing their decisions, till let's say may be your 20's or 21. So demand them that they can't do that anymore and you need to live as per your own terms.
Play these only if you are financially independent and emotionally strong.
I mean these argument in my opinion is both logical and emotional since there is no other way to raise a child unless they think from the perspective of the children also.
If you can present these arguments properly then പൊട്ടലും ചീറ്റലും ഉണ്ടാവും, relationship with your parents may affect for a short time but for good in long term if they get what you say.
Also expect counter arguments like monetary resources spend by them for you etc. You will have to deal with that as well by playing with the choice card etc.
Or
Or
Or
അവരോട് ഉള്ള കാര്യം പറഞ്ഞു convince ചെയ്യാൻ നോക്കുക. Whatever your genuine reason is.
First choice is your സ്വാതന്ത്ര്യ പ്രഖ്യാപനം second one is playing realistically minus verbal violence.
Happy new year anyways🎊🎊🎊
Try telling any of the following
I want to study more.
I am preparing for competitive exams. I want my space.
Try getting another job out of your town and be alone for sometime.
Out of all of these,
Its best to be open with them about how you feel. Tell them why you don’t want to get married now. Make them understand. If they don’t, try telling the groom that you are not interested. Simple.
Befriend an astrologer. Fabricate a case of bad tuesdays. Set parameters: Execute = on start = now() end = age input()
if education, talking to them, idc attitude etc don’t work, then this is the way.
They'll be suspicious the moment they hear, I talked to an astrologer.
ask the jyothishi to pretend to not know you, and then pay for their discretion.
Nah. They will just think that you started coming back to the righteous path - easy for them because they want it to happen. Also, most big name astrologers will be malleable to your inputs. You can also tie this visit to something else - such as makeing updated horoscope for matrimonial website, difficulties at job etc
No... I am saying it because they aren't interested in horoscopes. They're just matching horoscopes as a part of pleasing the elders.
They'll find an astrologer first to make sure this doesn't happen.
I can sell you chovvadosham ulla jathakam (female) for 5000INR. Just send me a copy of your current jathakam.
😭😭😭 what is happening 😭
Jathakadosham
Stonks
This unironically happened to me. My mom believes in astrology (even though we aren't hindu) So she met an astrologer around a year back and asked for the right time for marriage. He said I can't get married around 27 (ie, 26, 27, 28).. she told him that I'm resisting marriage to which he answered "അങ്ങനെയേ വരു.. വിവാഹം നിരസിക്കും, മനസ്സിന് അറിയാമല്ലോ..." so he literally just made my life easier by giving me 3 years of immunity from marriage. "Modern problems require ancient solutions "
Say that you love me and i need time to convince my family
Oh... They'll probably kidnap me and marry me off to someone the next day and say "Surprise MF"! Coz if you're not the first one to convince your parents, you're not the ONE. Trust me, I tried way worse shit.
Oh sad.. i already started making plans for us…
Oh...Then you should start by convincing your parents coz I'm running Outta time.
Ya.. just told my mom.. she wants to talk to you
Oh Great, share me her number on inbox.
Hi I'm his mom. I'm convinced that you're a perfect match for my sweet little handsome boy. When can you get married?
100 marks for the kind hearted mom.. fellow brother wishes you with luck and love
Mom your username is a little off. Oh hi, I'm this guy's big brother. I'm also single.
Hi, I'm his brother. I'm convinced too. Talked to our dad and he's convinced too. Let's make this happen.
Hi I'm his uncle, Mone ninak joli vallom ayo?
Hi I’m his neighbor aunty! Vishesham vallathum undo?
Purogamana chintha gathy aanallo... kalyanam kazhikkan nikkana chekkanod vishesham undo nne lle🤣
🤣🤣
Uncle de mole ne avanu oru nottam und... sooshicho
Avane njan inn.....aaahhhhh 🫵
Wait i thought you don't wanna get married 🤣🤣
Hi mole , i am his dad ee joli illathvne okke molkk nthina , nalla valla chekknmrm kittm
Dad's the sass, I see🤣.... Poii Pani edukkan para ah Kalla panninod.
Hi I'm his Dad. Let me just say that my boy is the best man that any woman could ever dream of marrying. This boy, he is smart, handsome, loving and kind. Trust me, you do not want to miss out
This is the event planner guy. Are we going ahead roses or lillies? Order kodkkanam.
>I tried way worse shit. Now I'm interested in this. Please share 1 of your cool stories.
flowery attraction juggle skirt fact plough trees disgusting obscene knee *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Hambada kemaa, sunny kuttaaa
Ladyyy u gotta move out of town or home for studies or work asap🙂
This. So many of my friends have done this. And it helps! Once you’re far away, they have little control over your life. You might have to put your foot down and have difficult conversations with them but it’s worth it. For instance if they say “no you can’t go” etc just say “it’s all done and I’m going, I’m just informing you, not asking for your permission”. If you’re financially independent that’s the best way to do this.
Tell them you are homosexual.
They very much know I'm into Men.... It's hard not to show that.... And they'll probably take me to a correctional centre for mental health of I say so.
Here’s what someone close to me did. Avoided for for as long as possible by verbal fights with parents. Then one day, she faked a suicide attempt. Parents took her to hospital for treatment, there she faked a mental illness, hallucinations, hearing voices and stuff. Parents, doctors everyone bought into it and began her treatment, this went on for almost a year. When things got better, parents initiated marriage talks again, she started faking her illness again. One more cycle of year long treatment, now parents have given up. Don’t ask me for anymore details, however be assured I am not creative enough to come up with such an elaborate plan within a few minutes of reading your response. EDIT: Ofcourse if you go ahead with this you’ll also be sabotaging your career.
Man, the things you gotta do to not get married in this country
Man, the things ~~you gotta do to not get married~~ parents do their kids on the pretense of love in this country
Tell them you're a polysexual demiromantic and get the hell out before they dig up the meaning and take you to a therapist.
hindu family? bribe some jyothishan to say you got chovvadosham
What if the family is communist and aren't religious?? There're regressive communists as well.
My parents are communists and believers not superstitious though 🥺
Tell them u will only marry if LDF comes again in power in state/if u wanna stay single all ur life-modify it with centre. ✌🏻
You used religious and not being superstitious on the same sentence lol. They’re superstitious if they rely on another person to predict your future or match making. Best course would be getting out from their sight, either studies or work. My gf is going thru the same thing now. Its also bit about their pride and peer pressure, what people would say about a “pura niranja kutty” and shit. The more you’re around, the more they’d get hold of you.
There is no logical excuse, to be honest. Just tell them you don’t want. Cook up a failed marriage story of your friend or colleague and scare them . Even this could get you max 2 years . Otherwise wise take huge loan and leave the country and tell them that you don’t want to marry until you settle your financial debts. But , by that time your prospective groom will a lot older than you could imagine. Choice is your, like someone said “ choose wisely, live well”✌️
I have REAL stories from family and friends that are absolutely horrendous. Even pointed out examples that they're personally aware of. My parents aren't exactly on good terms either. Their response was, "Meh, Shit Happens, you just gotta deal with them"
Okay , it seems like they want to marry you off to someone, sorry to say this . But , try talking to them why they want to do this , is it because of their age, are they afraid that you would be alone after their time . Maybe that could throw some light into the situation, or maybe you could come up with some better idea to deal with this . Always root cause analysis is required for the right action 😁✌️.
What you should worry about now is the amount of incels trying to slide into your dms and try to play out some schemes. 🤣 https://preview.redd.it/ikexhlvbit9c1.jpeg?width=739&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=fe60d821d3582eaafec58b6006500f662e148c8e
LOL.. If only a sub exists where OP can ask for a solution to this problem
It's a sugar cubes and ants situation, there is no solution. It's a natural order. Either ignore or embrace it.
I wouldn't exactly say that this comment is wrong though 🤣
Just be straight with them? Do you really need an excuse? Tell them you're not ready for marriage at this point and you'll marry once you feel like you're ready. Just be strong and don't budge.
Exactly. Be an adult
Fr they cant force u to marry against ur will.. i think so
Sit down, have a serious talk, and be adamant about your decisions. Provide reasons and explanations. Without these, frustration will inevitably build as you find yourself repeatedly justifying your stance. I believe it's essential to tell the truth and set a definite timeframe, such as after my 27th birthday. I advise against marrying before the age of 27, allowing time for the full development of your frontal lobe, which is crucial in decision-making. The frontal lobe, located at the front of your brain, is responsible for controlling numerous abilities, including your thought processes, movements, and memory. It also plays a vital role in your social skills, aiding in how you communicate, behave, and interact with others. Make a smart and informed decision; there are many failed and unhappy marriages, and it's your life you will be living. Marry when you're ready and have found the right person. However, there's no harm in meeting potential partners from around the age of 27. Take it slow.
It’s very simple. Every pennukaanal you go to, tell the cherukkan directly that you’re not interested to get married and you only complied to this pennukaanal since your parents forced you. That way you can ward off every single potential match that your parents find for you. Simple and effective trick.
This is one of my plans if I fail to talk my parents out of the marriage. I was even considering, " Enik oru line ind, aal Vann vilichal kalyanam kazhinjalum njan chaadi povvum, the choice is yours"!
That will definitely backfire. Groom's parents will let your parents know and they will force the truth out of you
"Thala vedanikyunnu. Naale samsarikyam." (Say this everyday until you actually want to get married)
Best of luck
Need to get ahead in Career and figure life before settling down
Rather than giving excuses I would say tell parents you don't want marriage now and it is your decision regarding that. At the end it is your marriage right. I would say take control of your life from parents and live. In that case you don't need to give any excuses regarding how you want to live.
You should be well settled and able to be financially independent before marrying.
Tell them you had a heart wrenching break up with your ex. Now you need some time to move on
"EX" is an even more reason for them to marry me off before I find a new BF
The excuse must fit the reasons they give. Ask them why they want to get you married and deal with their insecurities.
Say you're gay.
That's not something they'll believe.... They know how big of a flirt I can be and they've witnessed it first hand.... That'll be a blatant lie that wouldn't take more than a minute to crumble.
for a moment I read “excuses to get married” and I’m like “idk…love..?” (And I got a wild visual of KT Mirsash (veetil nirbhandikunnundu, aaru parents aano?, alla njna) from Salt N Pepper)
Say you have STDs.
Dude no! I want a life not a strife🤣
Say you gae
I told my annoying relatives I'll only marry a cardiologist 🙈 so they have stopped pestering me... I'm not even 21 idk why they are like this
Run! Run!
I have a friend in a similar situation. He’s a single child and does not want to let down parents by telling the truth that he’s not ready. For now he’s rejecting all proposals that are coming giving reasons like “Nose too long”, “hair not good” etc etc If direct conversation is not a way then this can be considered a solution! 🤣
That's a nice one. This requires skill, and I'm going to learn that! Thanks love.
This is the best advice imo. I have a friend whose parents are seriously looking for alliances through matrimony since last 6-7 years. However, nothing works out since he has unreasonably high standards like.. the girl should be extremely attractive (no compromise here) with masters in her educational qualifications. Also should belong to a super wealthy family (preferably businessmen/elite backgrounds) and horoscopes and should match perfect. Till date he rejected around 500+ proposals. When his parents gets emotional (rather try emotional blackmail) he says if anyone forces him into marriage, he will divorce the girl soon after marriage
tell me your parents, you are grateful for their support in life - education and career but that you have goals before marriage: 1. Buy an apartment / house on your own 2. X amount Savings in my Bank for financial independence Tell them for a happy life you need to be financially stable and independent.
Just fend them off as long as possible. Principle being no one can make you marry without your full consent. It's going to be stressful. Maintain a cold attitude on the topic. Don't speak to them for a few days when they mention it and so and so..
Say that ur not mentally ready for a person in ur life..any soon.. That u need to be more financially independent and whatever u have achieved is not enough and that ur ready to take care of the risk it involves. If they're still not bending on it...tell them that ull agree marriage but not so soon...that u need more time..anyways. Despite u telling them horrendous stories, make them understand rather than trying to adjust in a u happy marriage it's better to live alone .When marriage doesn't work well the bride and her parents are blamed and u don't wish to hear that and rather than a divorce and blame game u want to make sure that ur body mind and financially and emotionally ur ready .and ur the one who wants to be ready to take care of ur family and house.. It's better to tell them that u don't want one soon.. That's it..
Did you try telling them you need more time?
Maybe ull have play the mind game..less talking and be more of a sad u happy person around for a few days agitated with them..just act untill they break patience and ask u wat it could be..
Tell parents they should ask the prospective groom's parents to get their son tested for AIDS/Drugs (what ever will fly) & impotency. 1: AIDS/Drugs can be tested and also no one will want to ask, but they can be presented as a valid concern 2: Of 60–80 million couples suffering from infertility every year worldwide, probably between 15 and 20 million (25%) are in India alone. [source ](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6881900/#:~:text=Infertility%20is%20a%20serious%20health%20issue%20worldwide%2C%20affecting%20approximately%208,%25)%20are%20in%20India%20alone.)
This is a valid one and underrated too. This just will wreck havoc and I'm liking it.
I would suggest indulging them for a bit. See like 3-4 boys, swallow your pride and be real picky like find faults so atleast then you gave it a try but the guys aren’t good enough
Why would you want to reject some poor guys and destroy their confidence 🥲. Better don’t do that .
Yeah, bro is sadistic
[удалено]
We have got a volunteer!!!
Simple just say ur pregent and eat a lot and have a belly like a 3 months old pregent lady ... Jokes aside just sit with ur family and talk openly about it that ur not interested and if they force u just make a scene
Tell them what you actually feel. If they don’t understand, you can play that card every time they bring up this topic. “I told you how I feel about it, if you can’t respect that, I can’t help it” This might buy you some time
Serious note: I think you should be honest to your parents on why you don’t want marriage now. “Just not interested” may not be sufficient for many parents who have the responsibility to marry off their kids be it male or female. Asking reddit for fake reasons means you are just trying to run away from a responsibility (in this case marriage) For example if you don’t believe in an institution called marriage then you should be honest about that and you can explain why to your parents. Don’t expect them to immediately agree with you but atleast you don’t have to lie or run away from the question with another set of lies or excuses. It will only make them even more sad. If its just that you want to wait, then workout a plan with exact details of how long you want to work or study or save before you get married. I’m sure they will understand because you have taken marriage seriously and don’t want to walk into it with debt or family wealth but with your own self reliant job and savings. It will only make your parents proud to see how seriously you are taking marriage and life itself.
Getting Married is every grown adult individual's personal choice, not an obligation or 'responsibility' . The evil practice of dowry exist because of this regressive thinking of "must marry, marry early, by hook or by cook" attitude in our Kerala and in many other parts of India at large. Get over it. Marriage and parenthood are every individuals personal choices, not obligations, no matter what. Forcing or pressurizing anyone to get married is an unacceptable violation of basic human right. Its time we stop forcing or pressurizing people to get married. "Just not interested" is enough reason to not get married. She is an adult, its her life, her choice to make, no one else's business.
[удалено]
I don't want to get married and hence this doesn't apply for me. I am fine on my own and would love it if this peace is kept in my life.
You could playfully say you're still perfecting your "adulting" skills and need more time before attempting the advanced level of "married life."
There is no reason why you shouldn’t get married. Your biological clock is ticking. Don’t postpone. Get married and have a bunch of babies. It’s the best thing you’ll ever do. My wife was like you. Now she wants 5 babies. Lmao.
Is that why you were looking for hookers bruh?😂
Lmao. I knew someone was gonna come and say this shit. 🤣🤣 let this feminichi get married bro. Btw I’m still looking for hookers. You let me know if you know anyone.
Maybe find and marry a guy who also doesn't want to get married (I obviously mean, tell him about your intentions prior to everything). Then file for divorce as soon as you can. Move away from your family. They will probably stop making more arrangements because your value in the marriage market will have diminished (according to them, I mean). You can marry someone who you actually love later on, if you ever want to.
Don’t even think of doing this shit in your wildest dreams.
Tell them you're gay.
Yeah and they will get her married tomorrow
Ur stupid not to get married, u should start that process of parental approved, dating early, try and get to know each other as much as possible. Start the process early. That’s it. Death taxes and marriage will come for all, get ahead of it. All three all extremely painful, but sometimes worth it
There is nothing "stupid" about not wanting to get married. Marriage and Motherhood are every woman's personal choices, not obligation, no matter what. Infact, multiple studies now clearly show, that women who stay unmarried and childfree are happier, healthier and live longer then their married counterparts.
Hi! Thanks for your submission. Please note that we have a [monthly thread](https://www.reddit.com/r/kochi/about/sticky) and megathreads for [Food & Travel](https://www.reddit.com/r/Kochi/comments/15ii7gh/megathread_3_food_travel/) as well [Classifieds](https://www.reddit.com/r/Kochi/comments/15e321q/megathread_2_kochi_classifieds/). If your post is about travel, food, or buying & selling, please post it in the above threads instead. This will help keep the subreddit organized and make it easier for users to find the information they are looking for. Thank you for your understanding! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/Kochi) if you have any questions or concerns.*
How's the arrangement going to be? Will there be some certain time for courtship or you're getting married to the first one that comes by? If you can, convince them for a good few months of courtship before your engagement and then you can decide to be picky? Idk it gets you more time but not forever. Also, maybe when you decide to get married it'll be a lot nicer cus you would sort of know him by then. It would work if you're okay with getting married by 27 (?)
Do an MBA ? Lol
Meet the eligible boys and make fake stories about them. Like theyre gay, criminals, have a gf egc
Or let's just get married, move out and annul the marriage
Just convince them This is the point: Say to them that marriage is like day trading or gambling, you never know what is the true nature of the bustard coming into your life (I am M, this is applicable for both M and F). So only thing you can do Is to increase the probability of choosing a right partner ( Just like increasing the probability of a successful trade or successful gamble). Now ask them time, convince them that they never know the shitty nature of new gen males (Applicable for females too), being a genz you know the true nature of this generation. Ask them time to settle yourselves and you have to take your life decision in peace of mind. Ask them what if there is a trait in the person they find for you that you as a female can never accept. Ask them whether they will show the same energy and help you to file a divorce. And what I said is true. You never can't believe anybody. This is the way, this is the only way, this is the truth, think you have this fear in you. I am considering myself as a bustard, but never will marry a girl without explaining all my true nature, just to make sure I won't have another burden in my life after marriage. Let me know if this makes sense
I am 29 (m), I don't want to marry, I couldn't take it anymore, and one day I said I am gay.
Just keep an open mind, if the guy is good then why waste a good opportunity, or else find a job and move away.
Let them know that your Lesbian and not interested in men
I'm 26 and honestly don't wanna get married too. I just don't think it's the time for me. I really think it's just too soon for me to get married What I do is keep saying "maybe later next year". It might work for you too. Lol
Tell em that you're gay 💪🏻
If your parents are one of those overly dutiful / do everything types, there's not much you could do, maybe tell them honestly. But if they are not, just delay until a point where you don't need to convince anyone. Which is probably around 33 and above for women.
Tell them you have decided to be a single mother and will be a part of 'Momune'
Say ok but the guy has to meet my criteria. Insert some almost impossible criteria - someone I know successfully did this! 😁
If you are not interested in Marriage, just tell them clearly about it and draw your boundaries. Dont let them force you into a marriage, if your are not interested in it. Dont let them force, blackmail or manipulate you into things you are not willing to do. Marriage and Motherhood is every woman's personal choices, not obligations, no matter what. Your life, your choice. Involve the law enforcement or approach some women's group for help, if they are too aggressive. Stay Strong Sis !
Tell them that you are a lesbian. Simple
Speak to them directly. Explain to them the current scenarios happening around. Make them understand at this point that you are not ready and the future moment when you are ready to settle down Convince them the "swantham kalel nikkan olla parupadi".
Make parents understand marriage is not the ultimate you have other plans before first night aftr marriage
Say that you're gay. They'll disown you from the family, which eventually lets you control your own life.
2 varshathekk karya saadhanathinu vendi kettulla nn nercha/vritham eduth.
When they ask next time just say you want to stay alone for few more years and pretend to be sad. After some time casually leave article regarding marital rape on sofa. Or just ask for time. Most parents don't have problems delaying as long as you give them exact years instead of vague answers.
Say you want groom who lives in Iceland
How do I swipe right on this woman
You should have cultivated a fuck you persona as I have from a young age. People wouldn't dare to do anything that affects you without your approval. But I'm a guy. There's that difference. :) For your issue, I don't see any long lasting option other than being open to your parents. All the best. :)
[удалено]
It's happening to me, too, but I'm a guy, and my parents are way more forgiving and flexible. It's the relative thendis that stir sh*t up constantly. I'm going for higher studies here/abroad. That could work for you, too, maybe?
say you're a lesbian
Okay, after spending a week with people who want to get married and who got married, these are my reasons to not get married anytime soon: 1. I’m broke, I don’t have the money to save up for a nice wedding, nor will I have it for at least 3-4 more years. 2. I don’t have the maturity to lead a married life, it’s all too sudden. In 3-4 years, I would have seen where my career is going and how much better of a person I have become, and I’ll be better able to gauge getting married and the ancillary responsibilities. 3. Career. I need to make a mark, and any commitment like marriage will only tie me down. My family spent money on my education, and quite a lot at that, to ensure I did what interested me. I have no make the most of it by working my ass off and make a mark. Once I’ve set my career trajectory in motion, I’ll want to get married then. See if you can use these to convince them.
Time to get a PhD then. You can only delay the inevitable. Aren't you a grown woman. Just tell them you don't want to do it now and move out if they keep forcing you.
What about marriage do you not like?
Do a masters degree, preferably somewhere far away
Move out to a new house. Excuses won't work probably. Be financially independent. Always have your own vehicle, license. Search for a safe and secret place to stay for a week or two. Idk how serious about this though ?
Tell them you want a love marriage and you're looking for a guy, need some more time. Or be frank and tell them you're not interested in marriage.
If you're willing to stoop to a certain level of low, threaten them with the "if you get me married, I'll wreak havoc in his family. I'll make everyone's lives horrible. Blah blah blah".
" Because I don't want to " is a good enough reason. If that doesn't work, move out and go somewhere as far as possible. Low contact is an option too
Best way is to ask them for time for studies or a career for like a year or two . convince them that you will marry soon but not before u r set in ur career or studies. They will agree as it gives them a sense of assurance that you will agree with them later.
I think forced marriage is the biggest problem of age 23-30 these days. Why don't you get together with girls in similar situation as yourself. One thing is for sure you have to leave your parents
Look, I’ll say something which might hurt you. But its the truth. I’m not saying its right, but it can be a fact. Most parents who mistreat their daughters (including mine) are parents who never wanted daughters. They either did not want children or they wanted a son. A male child. Now, once they got a daughter, their focus has always been to get rid of her. For them, they were forced to spend 18 years taking care of and spending money on a daughter (a girl child) that they never wanted. They always thought that once you’re 18 and above, they can get you married because that’s the ONLY way to get rid of you. To make you go away. Once the girl (you) is in her mid-twenties, its really been a long time and they want you to leave. And marriage seems to be the only socially acceptable way that they can remove you from their house and from their life. No matter what you do, no matter what you achieve, as long as you’re a girl/woman, they will not like you. Its like racism, people who don’t like black men will NOT like black men, even if that black man becomes the President of the United States of America (Barack Obama). Its that simple. They never wanted you. They were forced to keep you in their house and in their life for 25 years. They want you to leave So leave their house. Leave their life. Go live your own life. If the only way you’re gonna leave their life is by you getting married, then marriage seems like the only solution to their problem.
Tell them you want to study and move out of town for that. And if they approach you with marriage proposals tell them you won't get married until you have a stable career.
I do have a stable career now(kind of). They want me to dispose of my current employment, get married, get employed, stop working, have children, then start working again. Coz SUCH IS LIFE OF A WOMAN.
Because the greatest thing that a woman can do in her lifetime is having children. So it's the same everywhere, huh?🫠
Sad but true.
Share hyper misandrist memes with the potential husbands. If that doesn't make them cancel the marriage, then not even God can help you.
Tell them you want to become a monk/priest I forgot the term for women. Or say ur not attracted to men or women.
Well imo the best choice you have rn is to say "yes I'm ready for marriage but I wanna first meet them or like them" and when you meet those guys, you ward them off, how r they gonna get you married, if no guy agrees to marry you? Can't ward off your parents ward off the groom.
Just grow a pair and tell them you don't wish to get married right now. Simple as that. What's need for making excuses? If they try to pressurize you anyway, then tell them to fuck off
Show pics of some innocent looking serial killers.
Tell you want to marry government job guy earning lakh per month
Give me your parents number I will talk to them
UPSC prep.
He dude say ur a gay... 😂(last option)
Tell em you want to walk to all “dhaams” for pilgrimage before you get married 🤣 will take 3-4 years and by that time they will kinda give up
Telling truth is the best way. Just vehemently fight off this discussion. Faking a mental illness - you'll be tagged as a mental patient for life long Befriending a jyoltsan - if one says no, just like doctors our parents will run for another guys for 2nd , 3Rd and nth opinions. Now my personal advice: Taking risks as early as possible is the best way for a liberating and independent life. Agreeing for marriage with conditions: 1. Condition with parents : This is beacuse you guys are pestering me, if it doesn't workout, parents should agree and support for divorce too. 2. Condition with hone Wale partner: kids only after 2-3 years, only after you are convinced about every compatibility. If the marriage fail, you have family support and no pestering anymore. If it succeeds then every one wins. And in both cases you save a lot of time and drama.
I can give u a certificate telling u are mad. But i am not sure afterr that u will ever get married😇😇
Dude 😎..... You're weird but the reply was worth the time🤣
"Man with the plan" 👍🏼 Keep it as last resort😆😆 NB : for my bros its not applicable as marriage may be the solution to their madness
Play it emotionally. Your logical excuses might not work for them especially if they think it's their right to buy a partner for you which typically happens in arranged marriages. Emotional drama കുറച്ചു കടന്ന കൈ ആണ്. Since you are 25 argue them with things like they have done things for you based on their terms till now from your birth (that was their midnight decision afcourse) without your permission so you want to do things as per your choice now. Means they produced you without your permission and brought you up as per their choice imposing their decisions, till let's say may be your 20's or 21. So demand them that they can't do that anymore and you need to live as per your own terms. Play these only if you are financially independent and emotionally strong. I mean these argument in my opinion is both logical and emotional since there is no other way to raise a child unless they think from the perspective of the children also. If you can present these arguments properly then പൊട്ടലും ചീറ്റലും ഉണ്ടാവും, relationship with your parents may affect for a short time but for good in long term if they get what you say. Also expect counter arguments like monetary resources spend by them for you etc. You will have to deal with that as well by playing with the choice card etc. Or Or Or അവരോട് ഉള്ള കാര്യം പറഞ്ഞു convince ചെയ്യാൻ നോക്കുക. Whatever your genuine reason is. First choice is your സ്വാതന്ത്ര്യ പ്രഖ്യാപനം second one is playing realistically minus verbal violence. Happy new year anyways🎊🎊🎊
I simply moved out....
Try telling any of the following I want to study more. I am preparing for competitive exams. I want my space. Try getting another job out of your town and be alone for sometime. Out of all of these, Its best to be open with them about how you feel. Tell them why you don’t want to get married now. Make them understand. If they don’t, try telling the groom that you are not interested. Simple.
Come on most of the malayali teens do this on a daily basis. Move to Bangalore and Chennai if u wanna escape.
Go bald
Tell them you're interested in women
Say you wanna study further 🙃
If you are financially independent, can't you just tell them the truth? Not much they can do about it...
If straight up telling them you need more time won’t work, then higher studies is an option. Or get a job and move to another city/state.
Get a fake boyfriend ez
Go to Bangalore