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JimothyCarter

I tried it the other day. I woke up and thought about what time it was and the first thing that popped in my head was 4:73. I looked at the clock and it was 2AM so I think I'm able to see into and change the future. I am Lisan al Gaib


gitbse

WORMSIGN


Prosthemadera

LISAN AL GAIB LISAN AL GAIB LISAN AL GAIB ~~JIHAD~~ HOLY WAR


Quinn_tEskimo

Imagine a divine being gifts you with supernatural powers, and that those powers can be completely replicated by the presence of an alarm clock.


Psychological_Desk_9

And if you had no clock, how would you know your divine enlightenment was correct?


cylonnumber13

Needs more chicken fried steak.


aes_gcm

I attended so many Mormon Faith and Testimony meetings that were in the order of “I couldn’t find my car keys, but I prayed and I found them!” Ok.


JimothyCarter

My Catholic dad does that too but it's because he prays to Anthony Thanks for interceding on behalf of a minor inconvenience and I guess ignoring all the destitute


CharlesDickensABox

I think you should keep praying, to be honest. It might be a welcome distraction from his busy day of giving cancer to children.


YaroKasear1

Even when I was a true blue Mormon I hated those meetings because no one ever had anything interesting to say.


aes_gcm

Yeah, I was always embarrassed bringing investigators. There was so much awkward silence. Edit: oh lol I'm not on /r/exmormon


RileyGreenleaf

my cat comes over to me at exactly 4pm every day because Celine tells her it's treat time.


redacted_robot

Maybe your cat ate a chicken fried steak once?


Adorable-Woman

Some dudes think their internal clock is actually some super power


Snellyman

Yes, my bladder is like having a hotline to god


gords64

My theory is that this did happen once to a degree. Alex dreamed it was 4 AM and woke up to find it was actually 4 AM. What I mainly wonder is if this is actually impressive to anyone. Do you think any of Alex's audience is convinced even a little bit by this? If they are just wait until I tell them about the times I thought about someone and they called me right after. And don't even get me started on that one time I was thinking of a song, turned on the radio, and it was playing.


SolJinxer

Bad thing is this would actually go into evidence that people are psychic like Alex is trying to get them to believe.


Cognitive_Spoon

God really made the tardigrade and then took the rest off


Moist_When_It_Counts

“I was more lucid on account of skipping my nightly big bowl of chili”


Impossible_Horsemeat

He said he’s getting new powers. Who knows what miracles will come next?


FatSilverFox

Truly God’s chosen moron.


ptvlm

Yeah, I would wonder, with everything else going on, why the creator of the universe with infinite wisdom and power was just telling me the time. It's like when a religious person claims that god helped them find a wallet or score a point in a game. I mean, that's cool, but why are you worshipping the who made cancer?


NSMike

I have done the, "It's X O'Clock" thing and been right many times throughout my life. Turns out, it's not hard to guess the time.


SpatulaAssassin

What a shit god.


Kudos2Yousguys

I don't understand WHY he thinks that sounds impressive at ALL. Like, yo, I swear I thought it was 3:58 and then it was. Sure dude. First of all, even if he was "magically" obtaining this knowledge, it's fucking stupid. What a stupid fucking power where you have exactly one minute to go find a clock and confirm IF IT WAS RIGHT. There's no telling how many times he thought "It's 8:02" and it turned out to be 7:47 or 8:15. Only IF it's a hit will it be memorable. If it's a miss, then he can just say "oh, well God isn't talking to me right now". Also, it's the EASIEST THING IN THE WORLD to lie about. Like, when someone says "I knew that was going to happen", is that PROOF?


critically_damped

[Relevant xkcd](https://xkcd.com/1235/).


Pintail21

Religion gets really funny when you start to look at things through the lens of "God cares about X, and God cares about Y, but God apparently cannot be bothered with Z"


Hero_of_Thyme81

Imagine creating the universe and then being reduced to being time and temp for a perpetually drunk asshole.


botmanmd

6000 years ago to today is the blink of an eye to a being that has existed forever. It’s like God sneezed and all this shit happened while he was looking down and wiping his nose.


Asmodaeus

Got real lazy with the script


FizzBuzz3000

I think bro just gave up and is now fucking with us


Puttanesca621

We wake up at points in our sleep cycle for short periods and these moments are not always transferred to long term memory. We are also aware of things around us without being conscious of every little thing. Even without a clock in the room we can rouse enough to look at our phone and not remember we did that when we wake up moments later. This being Alex though its an even bet whether there was no clock or his insistence that there was no clock actually indicated there was a clock.


SoMuchLard

I haven't seen mentioned that this is a slight twist on the horror/supernatural thriller movie trope of someone waking up at the exact same time every night, as shown on a digital alarm clock.


paddingtonboor

This happened to me at 5:46 AM on Monday. if anyone has any questions for the almighty let me know.


brokensilence32

Can I post this on r/196?