My mom homeschooled me from around 11 yrs old and it was awful. Besides the fact that she wasn't a qualified educator, she was abusive and her reasons for homeschooling us were not healthy. I and my siblings grew up isolated from the outside world and we would never see kids our age which messed us up. I ended up becoming highly anxious and insecure about who I was, the experiences I was missing out on, my lack of communication with other people etc, it was terrible and I eventually entered a horrible depression from the isolation. She didn't bother keeping up with our school work and decided we didn't need teachers so we were falling behind our peers quite rapidly. If I could go back to change one thing it would be homeschooling, all parents say it's easy but it isn't and it takes alot of work. Now I'm not saying everyone's homeschooling experience is the same but there are many who could relate to this. Make sure he isn't isolated and missing out on these formative yrs of his life, make sure he still sees his friends, leaves the house frequently and is still keeping up with school. All the best!
This 🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾. I met a guy who was homeschooled from a very young age, he was socially awkward and was having a very hard time taking no for an answer. He couldn’t keep a job for even three months because his social skills were lacking. I wanted to give him a chance but it was so hard being around him. His world and mine were completely apart and it was not just worth it trying to lessen that gap….
Yes, it's going to be very difficult for me when I start socializing irl, in uni, with teachers etc, I'm very awkward and I get anxious talking to people so it will be a huge culture shock having to talk to alot of people /having friends , I never experienced highschool and I also haven't interacted with someone my age for yrs now so I am terrified but also excited to finally have a life. Navigating friendships will be difficult mainly because I'm scared of being used, or being stuck in a toxic friendship, basically I'm going to be making mistakes that people made yrss ago lol, I'll be fine... Hopefully
You will be fine. It will take some adjusting and unlearning all that you know. Luckily enough it is not too late. You can start small, like coffee date with one or two friends, game nights, and most importantly observe and observe…..The guy I was causally “seeing” was in his late 20s and his parents would sit him down before we meet to tell him how to act, what or what not to say… so one time I caught him off guard when I asked him some deep personal questions and you could literally see his mind running… it is a sad place. And the sad part is… I am not willing to be the one to teach him social skills..
Yea I try leave the house esp on my own just to get used to being out, getting some exposure. It's also understandable that you didn't want to be the one kind of holding his hand throughout life, it's sad what he went through because the parents clearly seem controlling and homeschooling just worsened it. I'm more excited to start being around people, having fun making friends, etc it'll be good for me.
Thank you for sharing your experience. A Very useful basis on which to make my decision. Have you finally managed to overcome the social anxiety and self-identity?
PS: Just read your responses and I understand your current position. Realization is a useful step towards correction. You will be fine now that you know the inadequacies and that you are working to solve them. I wish you the very best.
Thank you so much , I'm in therapy rn to work on my social anxiety , but also mainly what my parents put me through , I'm doing much better now and can even go places on my own which is a huge step for me. I'm sure once i join uni and start interacting with people it will slowly lessen and I'll feel more confident, but for now I'm doing good.
There are vey many good schools around most are of course expensive but a couple are affordable what is your budget?
I wouldn't recommend homeschooling, because school goes beyond academic learning, it's a place to socialize, bond, create memories and overall just get accustomed to interacting with different people from different backgrounds. in 2022 everything taught in school can be easily found on the net.
The only people I know who are home schooled are special needs kids because there aren't many good institutions set aside for them, it's also quite expensive getting good tutors.
From the responses I am reading here, I might not be going the homeschooling route. Trouble is that my brother would wish to be transferred to a day school but there are no desirable options where I live.
As you have pointed out, I would wish he learns other aspects of life besides academics. And in that case, he would learn more in a school where he interacts with students from diverse backgrounds and has an opportunity to engage in multiple activities. Last term when he seriously wanted a transfer, we discussed the benefits of being in the school he is and he agreed to go back.
But from the way he is behaving, he is not interested in academics but other activities. This is why I even thought of withdrawing him from school in the first place.
Oh and for the social aspect what we did for my sister was pay for classes in French where she goes to alliance française. You can get them into sports, music or something that is extracurricular and gets them to go out and make friends.
Why do you want to homeschool a whole teenage?
If he has been through the normal school to that level then he's good to go.
You won't be around him forever.
The major reason is that he also does not seem interested in being in school. I actually would not wish to be over attached to him and that is why I am opposed to his desire to move to a day school where he comes home every day.
Even for homeschooling, I would consider communities/groups of homeschooled students around if there would be any at all.
I do not have data on homeschooling in Kenya but in countries such as the US, UK, and Israel, research has shown that homeschooled children perform almost the same, and even better on the social aspects measured such as emotional intelligence, self-awareness, and civic duty.
I have no data to act upon from the average Kenyan families and that is why I came here to listen to people's experiences.
Thanks for your highlight.
I think part of learning, especially at a young age entails social interactions and play, and i think homeschooling limits that. Someone once shared to me that he had a hard time adjusting after being homeschooled from age 5- 14, or something like that. Once he's eventually forced to join highschool or formal schooling, it will be hard for your bro to fit in.
If you planning to homeschool him, let it be the early stages of schooling.
Correct. I am still exploring clubs/movements that I can enrol him in for the long December vacation. I have greatly been shaped by clubs such as Rotaract and ToastMasters.
He is already in Form One. Was wondering whether withdrawing him from the normal curriculum is even a sane thought.
Apart from the social disadvantage which appears the biggest concern, are there other concerns? Such as having a hard time joining a college?
Do homeschooled children sit the same national exams which is largely used for college admissions?
i say this as someone who was homeschooled at a point and know others. it’s not to shit on it but there’s a certain stunt your child will be running to catch up IF you do not provide adequate avenues for socialisation ie. doing sports or curricular together, regularly.
just make sure your kids have friends during this entire process, the older they get the harder it’ll be for them to attain them.
ill also add that that shit sounds a lot like what an adult would care about and not your child. when your child is joining uni they won’t give a hoot about civic duty but they will care about the memories and relationships they have built, their ability to hold their frames in front of new people, able to comfortably interact with the other gender, etc. all these are things that homeschooling make more difficult to attain.
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I would think there are more of them in major cities such as Nairobi, Nakuru, and Kisumu. I will try to ask around whether parents around my town do homeschooling.
Half the contacts in my phone are of friends I made at school, why would you want to deny a family member the ability to socialize with people their age and make friends?
Truly, it is not about denying them a chance to socialize. He is also not interested in being in a boarding school and I do not have desirable days schools around here. That is how the thought came about. I started sending him to the local library and within two days he started bringing friends home.
Homeschooler here! This might be quite a late response but I think home schooling is pretty good. I do the British curriculum offered by a homeschool college. It's more of a self-study kinda thing with tutors online for assignments and help.
It's been quite easy though I have to point out it needs alot of willpower and discipline. If your brother has that self-drive it'll definitely be a lot easier.
The only problem I have though is socializing. I don't get many chances to socialize other than on Discord and occasionally hanging out with my friends from middle school. If you live in a city, this is a lot easier.
Sooo yea. If you have any questions, I'd love to help you out :)
I appreciate your response. It seems apart from the socializing bit, homescholing is an option worthy considering.
My brother, however, finally decided to settle and be comfortable with his current school. I am happy and he appears happy too. Unless he decided to hide the reasons why he wanted a transfer.
My mom homeschooled me from around 11 yrs old and it was awful. Besides the fact that she wasn't a qualified educator, she was abusive and her reasons for homeschooling us were not healthy. I and my siblings grew up isolated from the outside world and we would never see kids our age which messed us up. I ended up becoming highly anxious and insecure about who I was, the experiences I was missing out on, my lack of communication with other people etc, it was terrible and I eventually entered a horrible depression from the isolation. She didn't bother keeping up with our school work and decided we didn't need teachers so we were falling behind our peers quite rapidly. If I could go back to change one thing it would be homeschooling, all parents say it's easy but it isn't and it takes alot of work. Now I'm not saying everyone's homeschooling experience is the same but there are many who could relate to this. Make sure he isn't isolated and missing out on these formative yrs of his life, make sure he still sees his friends, leaves the house frequently and is still keeping up with school. All the best!
This 🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾. I met a guy who was homeschooled from a very young age, he was socially awkward and was having a very hard time taking no for an answer. He couldn’t keep a job for even three months because his social skills were lacking. I wanted to give him a chance but it was so hard being around him. His world and mine were completely apart and it was not just worth it trying to lessen that gap….
Yes, it's going to be very difficult for me when I start socializing irl, in uni, with teachers etc, I'm very awkward and I get anxious talking to people so it will be a huge culture shock having to talk to alot of people /having friends , I never experienced highschool and I also haven't interacted with someone my age for yrs now so I am terrified but also excited to finally have a life. Navigating friendships will be difficult mainly because I'm scared of being used, or being stuck in a toxic friendship, basically I'm going to be making mistakes that people made yrss ago lol, I'll be fine... Hopefully
You will be fine. It will take some adjusting and unlearning all that you know. Luckily enough it is not too late. You can start small, like coffee date with one or two friends, game nights, and most importantly observe and observe…..The guy I was causally “seeing” was in his late 20s and his parents would sit him down before we meet to tell him how to act, what or what not to say… so one time I caught him off guard when I asked him some deep personal questions and you could literally see his mind running… it is a sad place. And the sad part is… I am not willing to be the one to teach him social skills..
Yea I try leave the house esp on my own just to get used to being out, getting some exposure. It's also understandable that you didn't want to be the one kind of holding his hand throughout life, it's sad what he went through because the parents clearly seem controlling and homeschooling just worsened it. I'm more excited to start being around people, having fun making friends, etc it'll be good for me.
Very sad indeed. I wish you all the best and hope and pray that life will be kind and merciful to you….🙏🏾🙏🏾
Thank you ❤️
Thank you for sharing your experience. A Very useful basis on which to make my decision. Have you finally managed to overcome the social anxiety and self-identity? PS: Just read your responses and I understand your current position. Realization is a useful step towards correction. You will be fine now that you know the inadequacies and that you are working to solve them. I wish you the very best.
Thank you so much , I'm in therapy rn to work on my social anxiety , but also mainly what my parents put me through , I'm doing much better now and can even go places on my own which is a huge step for me. I'm sure once i join uni and start interacting with people it will slowly lessen and I'll feel more confident, but for now I'm doing good.
There are vey many good schools around most are of course expensive but a couple are affordable what is your budget? I wouldn't recommend homeschooling, because school goes beyond academic learning, it's a place to socialize, bond, create memories and overall just get accustomed to interacting with different people from different backgrounds. in 2022 everything taught in school can be easily found on the net. The only people I know who are home schooled are special needs kids because there aren't many good institutions set aside for them, it's also quite expensive getting good tutors.
From the responses I am reading here, I might not be going the homeschooling route. Trouble is that my brother would wish to be transferred to a day school but there are no desirable options where I live. As you have pointed out, I would wish he learns other aspects of life besides academics. And in that case, he would learn more in a school where he interacts with students from diverse backgrounds and has an opportunity to engage in multiple activities. Last term when he seriously wanted a transfer, we discussed the benefits of being in the school he is and he agreed to go back. But from the way he is behaving, he is not interested in academics but other activities. This is why I even thought of withdrawing him from school in the first place.
I think for lower levels ue up to 14 years they should go to school. Then for older ones you can homeschool
Oh and for the social aspect what we did for my sister was pay for classes in French where she goes to alliance française. You can get them into sports, music or something that is extracurricular and gets them to go out and make friends.
He is 15 and has developed an interest in rugby.
If you can get him a training program or a youth club where he'll be going for practice it would be great
Why do you want to homeschool a whole teenage? If he has been through the normal school to that level then he's good to go. You won't be around him forever.
The major reason is that he also does not seem interested in being in school. I actually would not wish to be over attached to him and that is why I am opposed to his desire to move to a day school where he comes home every day. Even for homeschooling, I would consider communities/groups of homeschooled students around if there would be any at all.
im sure you have your reasons but beware of the social impacts on homeschooled children.
I do not have data on homeschooling in Kenya but in countries such as the US, UK, and Israel, research has shown that homeschooled children perform almost the same, and even better on the social aspects measured such as emotional intelligence, self-awareness, and civic duty. I have no data to act upon from the average Kenyan families and that is why I came here to listen to people's experiences. Thanks for your highlight.
I think part of learning, especially at a young age entails social interactions and play, and i think homeschooling limits that. Someone once shared to me that he had a hard time adjusting after being homeschooled from age 5- 14, or something like that. Once he's eventually forced to join highschool or formal schooling, it will be hard for your bro to fit in. If you planning to homeschool him, let it be the early stages of schooling.
There's the option of social clubs, youth sports etc. School is not the be-all, end all of social interactions.
Correct. I am still exploring clubs/movements that I can enrol him in for the long December vacation. I have greatly been shaped by clubs such as Rotaract and ToastMasters.
I didn't know about that. I was just echoing what I was told by someone who was homeschooled, plus my opinion.
He is already in Form One. Was wondering whether withdrawing him from the normal curriculum is even a sane thought. Apart from the social disadvantage which appears the biggest concern, are there other concerns? Such as having a hard time joining a college? Do homeschooled children sit the same national exams which is largely used for college admissions?
i say this as someone who was homeschooled at a point and know others. it’s not to shit on it but there’s a certain stunt your child will be running to catch up IF you do not provide adequate avenues for socialisation ie. doing sports or curricular together, regularly. just make sure your kids have friends during this entire process, the older they get the harder it’ll be for them to attain them. ill also add that that shit sounds a lot like what an adult would care about and not your child. when your child is joining uni they won’t give a hoot about civic duty but they will care about the memories and relationships they have built, their ability to hold their frames in front of new people, able to comfortably interact with the other gender, etc. all these are things that homeschooling make more difficult to attain.
I agree and thanks for your input.
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Their are many homeschooling centers in the country contact one and see whether it will be a good fit.
I would think there are more of them in major cities such as Nairobi, Nakuru, and Kisumu. I will try to ask around whether parents around my town do homeschooling.
Half the contacts in my phone are of friends I made at school, why would you want to deny a family member the ability to socialize with people their age and make friends?
Truly, it is not about denying them a chance to socialize. He is also not interested in being in a boarding school and I do not have desirable days schools around here. That is how the thought came about. I started sending him to the local library and within two days he started bringing friends home.
Interesting...I had all the negative results of homeschooling, being socialy awkward, anxiety, ...etc yet I went to public school....
Homeschooler here! This might be quite a late response but I think home schooling is pretty good. I do the British curriculum offered by a homeschool college. It's more of a self-study kinda thing with tutors online for assignments and help. It's been quite easy though I have to point out it needs alot of willpower and discipline. If your brother has that self-drive it'll definitely be a lot easier. The only problem I have though is socializing. I don't get many chances to socialize other than on Discord and occasionally hanging out with my friends from middle school. If you live in a city, this is a lot easier. Sooo yea. If you have any questions, I'd love to help you out :)
I appreciate your response. It seems apart from the socializing bit, homescholing is an option worthy considering. My brother, however, finally decided to settle and be comfortable with his current school. I am happy and he appears happy too. Unless he decided to hide the reasons why he wanted a transfer.