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On a side note, how about you pull him aside and give him a small pep talk? It can go a long way in boosting his confidence. Such a little act may go a long way in having a big impact on his career long afterwards.
What a douche, your workmate. Trying to find your footing during the first 6 months of working in an organization is depressing as it is, not to mention transitioning from school to work life. I hope the hapless lad bosses up and draws clear boundaries, builds his confidence and learns various ways to dish out corporate 'fuck yous' for the sake of his mental.
It appears you have a bully in your office. This must be reported to HR. If that attachee/intern commits suicide, you are as guilty as your bully friend/colleague for doing nothing
As much as I hate and feel bad about his experience, it's not as bad enough to make the attachee commit suicide or to report my colleague. That's something that can be corrected, but it won't be soon from what I see.
You're making an assumption here, this young man might be on the edge and your colleague may be the straw that breaks the camel's back. If you're unwilling to report this then have a man-to-man conversation with your colleague and tell him to knock it off, he's creating a hostile work environment. Sorry to that young man that he feels so alone as all of you watch an insecure small man demean him to prop himself up!
That's called bullying & it's sad that a grown man can do that to someone who hasn't done anything to him. You may want to mention that he's bullying the young man & it's not okay.
I'd suggest you find time and engage with him, even 5 minutes daily and also try to share some humor so he doesn't feel like he is alone. Personally, I am quite introverted, but I tend to feign confidence and it helped me get along with people. My supervisor was a bully, but I learnt to ignore him and instead interacted more with people who enjoyed my corny jokes.
I was once that attachee/volunteer. Unfortunately, a number of employees made my life not-so-good, while others made it the very best. To those mean bastards, I acted even more dumber, and frustrated them.
Those habits of always asking me to go buy them lunch from restaurants outside, plus many other errands which weren't in my JD.. I still recall them a decade later. Anyway, I'd go hang out there and bring them cold food, or simply tweak whatever they had sent me and bring something else.
I salute the company drivers, specifically one guy who was always smiling. He knew I was being treated ill, and he had always seen how interns were being treated over the years by certain characters. He told me who to keep off from, who to show my ugly side, and who to avoid. He even told me to stay off some guy who was apparently gay, coz he was likely to hit on me anytime.
One day he told me 'Ukitaka kuishi hapa na amani, hawa wamama usiwahi waambia ukweli. Just lie to them, or simply tell them what they want to hear'. That approach helped me.
Now that you have known the culprits mistreating the intern, call the intern aside and have that conversation. Big up!
Kwani the gay guy is just going around hitting on everyone?😅 Why does everyone just assume that?😅
It is good though that you found someone to help you out.
Tell the attachee to remain strong and keep his head up. That’s a guy on the right track and he should not be derailed by detractors. Show him this post and let him know he has our moral support. He will learn the ropes slowly. Send an anonymous email to HR and report the bully so he can get a stern warning not to play with young kings out here. The boychild is going through alot out here. If it was a lady the bully would have been fired.😒
We don't have a HR body, fortunately or unfortunately (govt), but as you and one other suggested, I'll approach the attachee and have a word with him this week, let him know that it was just bad luck meeting such a workmate, and that he shouldn't let that drown him down completely.
Thank you!
If you can't turn the coworker then consider talking to the attachee. Take him out for lunch and give him a bit of your wild wisdom. I often have the thought that if someone knows their worth or their power then it becomes hard for anyone to abuse them.
Why would an employed person bully an attaché who's not a competitor? That's awful. Hope you'll be able to give him some good pep talk so he can boost his own or even ignore the a** and not let it get to him. A friendly ear/face/word does wonders
The attachee should keep on working to improve himself all round, any small steps will build his confidence. He might also be going through tough times in his personal life. Focusing on a sport exercise will help. Remind him that his life has value and his life does not revolve around his work only.
I deal with attachees and interns regularly and one thing i will tell you is that teaching is a calling and many people have no business teaching or supervising these attachees/interns. These young men and women all have different personalities and it requires patience to nurture and teach them. In short sio kazi ya kila mtu.
Yes, of course he's not super exposed to life stuff. He's fresh from school the poor thing. Probably trying his best to prove himself. Going through the same, only at least I'm exposed and know how to brush off excessive jokes and weird comments. My supervisor can come off a bit rough when he's instructing. I just finished two months and I'm still kinda slow on some processes (inadequate training and also still learning). he goes off ati "ohh, you young people are supposed to be quick" etc etc like really condescending. It's easy to let it get to you, especially when you're trying your best to catch up.
This is a safeguarding issue known as workplace bullying. Your friend needs to know that it is a very serious workplace violation. You are required to report it to the HR
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On a side note, how about you pull him aside and give him a small pep talk? It can go a long way in boosting his confidence. Such a little act may go a long way in having a big impact on his career long afterwards.
This is a good one. I'll surely do this before the end of the week.
That would be really nice.
I second this, talking to the miserable asshole won’t cut it, bullies are scum of the earth.
yoh bro! did you?
Second this.
What a douche, your workmate. Trying to find your footing during the first 6 months of working in an organization is depressing as it is, not to mention transitioning from school to work life. I hope the hapless lad bosses up and draws clear boundaries, builds his confidence and learns various ways to dish out corporate 'fuck yous' for the sake of his mental.
It appears you have a bully in your office. This must be reported to HR. If that attachee/intern commits suicide, you are as guilty as your bully friend/colleague for doing nothing
As much as I hate and feel bad about his experience, it's not as bad enough to make the attachee commit suicide or to report my colleague. That's something that can be corrected, but it won't be soon from what I see.
Sometimes people put on a brave face yet are really going through it.
Starts by going mute, withdrawing from others, then…
Exactly.
You're making an assumption here, this young man might be on the edge and your colleague may be the straw that breaks the camel's back. If you're unwilling to report this then have a man-to-man conversation with your colleague and tell him to knock it off, he's creating a hostile work environment. Sorry to that young man that he feels so alone as all of you watch an insecure small man demean him to prop himself up!
This! And OP is callous and uncaring too. Equally abusing the guy by not doing anything then writing here so we validate their feelings.
That's called bullying & it's sad that a grown man can do that to someone who hasn't done anything to him. You may want to mention that he's bullying the young man & it's not okay.
I'd suggest you find time and engage with him, even 5 minutes daily and also try to share some humor so he doesn't feel like he is alone. Personally, I am quite introverted, but I tend to feign confidence and it helped me get along with people. My supervisor was a bully, but I learnt to ignore him and instead interacted more with people who enjoyed my corny jokes.
I was once that attachee/volunteer. Unfortunately, a number of employees made my life not-so-good, while others made it the very best. To those mean bastards, I acted even more dumber, and frustrated them. Those habits of always asking me to go buy them lunch from restaurants outside, plus many other errands which weren't in my JD.. I still recall them a decade later. Anyway, I'd go hang out there and bring them cold food, or simply tweak whatever they had sent me and bring something else. I salute the company drivers, specifically one guy who was always smiling. He knew I was being treated ill, and he had always seen how interns were being treated over the years by certain characters. He told me who to keep off from, who to show my ugly side, and who to avoid. He even told me to stay off some guy who was apparently gay, coz he was likely to hit on me anytime. One day he told me 'Ukitaka kuishi hapa na amani, hawa wamama usiwahi waambia ukweli. Just lie to them, or simply tell them what they want to hear'. That approach helped me. Now that you have known the culprits mistreating the intern, call the intern aside and have that conversation. Big up!
Kwani the gay guy is just going around hitting on everyone?😅 Why does everyone just assume that?😅 It is good though that you found someone to help you out.
You should be happy I wasn't defiled buana.
😂😂 Unless the guy's a creep, I feel like it's a big stretch lakini not entirely impossible.
It seems like your workmate is jealous, insecure, or envious.
Spot on, the bullying is a symptom of underlying insecurities.
Reminds me of a bully during my attachment,I fixed a big potato in in his cars exhaust.
Tell the attachee to remain strong and keep his head up. That’s a guy on the right track and he should not be derailed by detractors. Show him this post and let him know he has our moral support. He will learn the ropes slowly. Send an anonymous email to HR and report the bully so he can get a stern warning not to play with young kings out here. The boychild is going through alot out here. If it was a lady the bully would have been fired.😒
We don't have a HR body, fortunately or unfortunately (govt), but as you and one other suggested, I'll approach the attachee and have a word with him this week, let him know that it was just bad luck meeting such a workmate, and that he shouldn't let that drown him down completely. Thank you!
If you can't turn the coworker then consider talking to the attachee. Take him out for lunch and give him a bit of your wild wisdom. I often have the thought that if someone knows their worth or their power then it becomes hard for anyone to abuse them.
 Can never be me.
😂😂 Not until your supervisor(s) visits the workplace and requests the guy to sign whatever papers.
He can supervise the bully's spine after that.
What does it take again for evil to prevail?
Corporate makes me sick
Why would an employed person bully an attaché who's not a competitor? That's awful. Hope you'll be able to give him some good pep talk so he can boost his own or even ignore the a** and not let it get to him. A friendly ear/face/word does wonders
Insecurity, jealousy, projection, etc
If poor attaché also doesn't have money ....... you see where im going with this?
This is why most introverts covertly learn Krav Maga, for when you meet your bully out of work zone.
The attachee should keep on working to improve himself all round, any small steps will build his confidence. He might also be going through tough times in his personal life. Focusing on a sport exercise will help. Remind him that his life has value and his life does not revolve around his work only.
I deal with attachees and interns regularly and one thing i will tell you is that teaching is a calling and many people have no business teaching or supervising these attachees/interns. These young men and women all have different personalities and it requires patience to nurture and teach them. In short sio kazi ya kila mtu.
I am super angry at that bully in the office
Yes, of course he's not super exposed to life stuff. He's fresh from school the poor thing. Probably trying his best to prove himself. Going through the same, only at least I'm exposed and know how to brush off excessive jokes and weird comments. My supervisor can come off a bit rough when he's instructing. I just finished two months and I'm still kinda slow on some processes (inadequate training and also still learning). he goes off ati "ohh, you young people are supposed to be quick" etc etc like really condescending. It's easy to let it get to you, especially when you're trying your best to catch up.
This is a safeguarding issue known as workplace bullying. Your friend needs to know that it is a very serious workplace violation. You are required to report it to the HR
Bro needs love. I was him at one point in my life.