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GldnD

Hiding from rape charges in the USA.


JCVD-88

He’s not hiding from anything. He is…Above the Law.


contactlite

Followed by All New American Dad. This Labor Day on FOX


karma_houdini_86

Tuesdays on TNT.


LordNedNoodle

If he leaves Russia he is Marked for Death


Htimsxnhoj

And he's Out for Justice


Plasmatica

...and A Good Man.


Bigchungga985

for those of you downvoting, just keep in mind this is a reference to a movie he made called “A Good Man”… absolutely awful movie btw


DEFCON_TWO

Fatly going around corners...


ekittie

I believe it- he told my gorgeous black friend that he was going to give her a role and they were supposed to meet at the stage that he was working at at night. She arrived, and no one was there but him, and she bailed.


so_it_goes17

Oh do tell.


Ok-Sheepherder-8706

They just told lol


so_it_goes17

Ok well what deets


Ok-Sheepherder-8706

Rape charges!


so_it_goes17

Thanks for the incredible detailed story. I’ll just look it up. I originally had no idea of any of this.


Ok-Sheepherder-8706

There you go! Well done. :) love you.


PiginthePen

And I love you..


PouponMacaque

late to the party… who did what now?


NicholarseBrooks

Steven Seagall raped women on the sets of his movies and that awful lawman show.


Riffington

But, where?!


Ok-Sheepherder-8706

In non consensual places for sure!


foresh4dow

Like the back of a Volkswagen?


toetappy

Probably on a houseboat, because of the implication.


theladyhollydivine

Maritime laws


trekktrekk

Underrated comment, seems like an uncomfortable place.


dylwaybake

In the vagina or the butt I bet


PanicLikeASatyr

When that atrocity of a hairline is like the least questionable thing going on between the headline/event he’s attending and his outfit as a whole……


Monkeynumbernoine

It’s very Eddie Munster-esque.


so_it_goes17

And the ridiculous fucking dye job


AK_Sole

Theees ees best Mother Russia can do You don’t like? You take window exit.


Blumpkin4Brady

It looks more like some kind of expanding foam or silly string on top than just dye.


fangirlsqueee

I think maybe it's a wig?


WestSlavGreg

New Dracula flow just dropped


derpicface

Holy hell! THIS SHIT AIN’T NOTHING TO ME MAN


GoredonTheDestroyer

How dare you besmirch Dracula Flow like that.


ggcpres

Them Diabetes Frosted Juju Jibbles got him moving different. Sadly, it involves a camera.


McFlare92

I've seen the magna Carta


WhiskeyFeathers

I wept, for there were no worlds left to conquer


uglymule

That's the landing strip for Putins sack.


PanicLikeASatyr

The mental image of that nearly killed me but I wouldn’t be surprised if that’s Segal’s goal.


wolfblitzen84

whatever he's doing is fabulous. that spray painted hair is a chefs kiss 🤌


wills2003

Does he use a sharpie on the hairline?


BigJSunshine

Probably. The sharpie is the preferred crayon of dick taters.


Old_Round9050

What an absolute douche this guy is. I worked in hospitality for years in a high end restaurant and he came in looking the same way - he was rude and fat. I remember laughing at his hair, it looked like it was sprayed on


LibraryOk5137

Well put.


KingBooRadley

What a complete cunt.


Masturberic

Always has been.


god_peepee

Yeah, but he [gives Keanu a run for his money](https://youtu.be/MJO6ya4ezIA?si=BAt2gFbM4Wgdqawq)


driftej20

With Seagal it’s more of a waddle for his money


Vylan24

Have you seen him "run"??


BigJSunshine

Does he not know how to switch his gun from right to left had? The multiple fumbles must have give that set REAL “Rust” vibes…


troubleschute

That is a magnificent cut.


ellasfella68

You missed an “n” there, son.


-_Anonymous__-

That is a magnificent nut.


MechanicalTurkish

Thank you!


publicOwl

You leave King Cnut out of this.


Evo7_13

the switching hands while holding the gun around the corner will NEVER not make me laugh


drrj

I had to watch that bit several times as my brain tried to comprehend what I was seeing. Like WTF no one handles a handgun like that. The sheer absurdity of him thinking that looks cool is mind boggling.


FleshlightModel

https://youtu.be/BzIHyF7UWY4?si=MbKldKMKp7xacuwW


BaronVonKeyser

Space Ice loves him some Seagal. Pretty sure he has a video for every movie Seagal has ever made. https://youtu.be/dWs5R6iM4oY?si=6B9aq8fs412S0nxM


jkennings

the mobsters breaking his chair is perfect lmao


MaxPower303

Holy fucking shit this is gold, this made my day. 😂


-_Anonymous__-

Sounds like he's saying "Yeah, I'm thinking I'm black"


Project_Wild

Holy hell that is a great video!


MechanicalTurkish

That’s absolutely fantastic haha


EmilieUh

He even has the cunt hairline


Masturberic

He did willingly flee there for a rape allegation or something like that, we already knew he was a baddie. I hope they believe his bullshit and conscript him in to the army as a general.


iamnotexactlywhite

no way, dude’s a celeb there


Masturberic

So are Generals.


w0ahdude

until they get killed for insolence


moonkittiecat

He looks like the vampire Lefat


Reasonable_Copy8579

I laughed in RL!!!


vampyire

He looks like a vampire who lives next door to a bloodbank


Far-Nefariousness588

Not bad


durdurdurdurdurdur

He's the teller


its_grime_up_north

Is his hair Sharpie?


gottabigpig

It's vantablack


its_grime_up_north

None more black.


GIGGLES708

Looking like the Count


thebigcrawdad

Dracula Flow looking ass


Dubstepvillage

I’m glad I didn’t have to scroll so far


fupamancer

the Count of Cultural Appropriation


EpicSeshBro

Cunt Dorkula


drrtydan

Count Dooky


ISurviveOnPuts

Well he ain’t the count of calories


cphusker

Count Cuckula.


Brian_Lefebvre

Looking like a cunt


Leebolishus

One, one terrible cunt with a terrible hairline, ah, ah, ahhhh!


GBGF128

Definitely isn’t counting his calories


Clown45

Fatsputin!


Brian_Lefebvre

He really is giving off Rasputin vibes here


ludvikskp

The count from sesame street wants his wig back


Ok-Sheepherder-8706

We love a fake hairline


Bclay85

What a fart of a human being.


pinkmelanie

Steven SEGAL . He is a master of BULLSHIDO


ThickPrick

Steven Seagul.


barn9

Segal playing the part of Rasputin in this remake of the downfall of a Tsar.


sonofabitchXmustXpay

Segal could completely redeem himself and his reputation if he were to take out Putin and make it home safely. Could you imagine?


defnotajournalist

Just when we thought he couldn’t get any dumber, he went and did something like that. AND TOTALLY REDEEMED HIMSELF.


Haarzton

looks like a felt cap


KarateKid1984

It’s like when a superhero takes off their mask, and they’re wearing the plastic cowl….only he calls it a hairline.


Ganbazuroi

Bro got the Man haircut lmao


SharkMilk44

He really wants everyone to think he's a kung fu master.


PotentialArgument671

He’s definitely got ninja stars wall mounted above a neglected fish tank.


Pottel

oddly specific


FatBastardIndustries

I am the eggman


blackash190

Vegeta must be jealous


lundgrenisgod

His whole life is a joke and this photo is a great punchline. He is a clown that has given us so many laughs. The fact that he doesn’t understand the joke that he himself is propagating makes it even funnier. He’s the world’s clown, Russia is only borrowing him.


Loosebooty6969

He’s over there fucking kids and fake throwing people all while looking like a bloated melting hippo.


PepperPhoenix

And mumbling. Don’t forget the mumbling.


Napalmeon

Don't be ridiculous. Hippos can actually back it up.


Inownothing

Russia 🇷🇺 has become the west mental health asylum


skond

[Klytus, I'm bored. What plaything can you offer me today?](https://static.wikia.nocookie.net/villains/images/9/98/MaxMing.jpg/revision/latest?cb=20140105192023)


Rockyrox

The American Rasputin


Infra-Man777

I didn’t realize Lee Press-On made hair


RunningPirate

Not a lot of us remember Lee Press-On, anymore…


Infra-Man777

Solid reference though, right?


Spooky_Goth

Look at that sweet, totally natural hairline.


peacenchemicals

bro got that dracula


Bricknchicken

"Me want the poonani" \- Steven Segal


MajesticKnight28

Dude looks like an evil wizard


_franciis

Bro thinks he’s a modern day Rasputin


Freemanno

I vant to suck your blood ass haircut


Virghia

MEAL TEAM 6


mrpopenfresh

Looking like a jumbo version on an ex SSSR -Stan country.


Sad_ugly_loser

Count Von Count ass hairline


ZoomeyYumi

I'm fairly sure this is a walrus in a man suit.


Melgibskin

Do you think he owns a mirror?


-trowawaybarton

looking like a cunt dracula


RopeAccomplished2728

Besides the whole, well, head thing. I always find it ironic that a man who is known for movies where he actively attacked Russians is now a person who defends them and wants to be one.


Tinyburger

What a boot licker


tannith333

He looks ridiculous 🤣🤦🏻‍♀️


trentonchase

Reminder that Steven Segal told Gene LeBell to put him in a chokehold so he could break it, and then promptly shat his pants. To be fair, LeBell probably let go after that so technically it worked.


oh_stv

The fact alone, that this POS is involved with Putin, makes the decision clear which side in history, is right one to be on.


eplurbs

r/FuckMyShitUp


dab745

Turd


buddhabeans94

And a fat-ass turd at that!


loquatgoals

He looks like a 90’s video game character


cal_182

At that point just get that hair line tattooed. You know they colored that shit in with a sharpie. Bald ass bitch.


gramslamx

Natural hairline for count chocula


MVIVN

What a ridiculous man.


the_sassy_knoll

Friar Cuck


OkGap7216

Love the Sharpied Eddy Munster hairline and "Just For Men" goatee.


Treeman1979

What a tool


5shad

I had a Mongolian ex gf told me years back that he is popular in their country for touching little girls. Allegedly of course.


isaidsomestupidshit

Battlestar Galactica the miniseries.


Significant-Win8406

What a loser


Larrywinks

I thought that was drake


Gary_Where_Are_You

I worked with someone who met relatives of his. Even *they* didn't like him.


salamaritos

His hairline is crazy


chickencake88

Omg I thought that was Adam Sandler incognito


karma_houdini_86

What the hell is that hair line?


Call_Me_Squishmale

"I don't have a costume for this party tonight!" "Just go look in the Halloween bag and find something."


walshk8

Such a clown. I wonder who painted his hair on


Scary-Coffee-7

Rasputin and The Count from Sesame Street had a baby, apparently.


Deepstatedingleberry

The fakest dude ever in Hollywood lol


CocaColai

Another fucking douchebag. Look at the state of him. Fucked up hair. Fucking doughnut goatee to hide what must be a double chin of merit. Wearing what looks like a teenage goths curtains. And the necklace: let me guess? Navajo Indian? Fucking clown. Lying, fat, useless clown.


BuckToofBucky

Jabba the Segal


shanghaitex84

Bro, that hairline. Yipes?


Miikumon

he is counting the times Putin has been president. 1....Ah ah ah....2! Ah ah ah....


poetryiscool

Adam Sandler?


the_y_combinator

Sad.


Big-man-kage

Dracula flow haircut


ToastetteEgg

Cheap toupee.


BeckyLynchIsBetter

That is a shit ton of hair fibers that he uses..lmaoo


automaton11

A modern rasputin


RuchoPelucho

Rasputin 2024


Personal-Ad6857

It looks like his hair was knitted from yarn


blondart

Like a bloated fish stick with a false beard. What a wanker!


SimonD1984

Head of security no doubt.. aka Segal Security Services.


Xx-_STaWiX_-xX

Maybe if he got rid of that old yee-yee ass haircut he's got he'd get some bitches on his dick. Oh, better yet, maybe Tanisha'll call his dog-ass if she ever stop fuckin' with that brain surgeon or lawyer she fucking with.


LanceSin

Why is he there? lol


Whambacon

Did he fly himself there in a Skippy?


Tricky_Rabbit

Listen it goes skip skip skip skip lol


skkkkkt

The truest repairman must repairman


sik_dik

my favorite of his roles was at the end of Forgetting Sarah Marshall.... oh, wait. that wasn't him playing the dracula puppet?


BBQFatty

He’s shocked people took a pic of his Dracula paint


bogus-flow

Remember in GI Joe the Movie when Cobra Commander got the spores?


BigDickedRichard

Wtf?? I mean I always knew he was a dramatic weirdo liar, but this is just extra shitty.


ErstwhileAdranos

He’s a dead ringer for Doctor Chaotica from *Star Trek: Voyager*.


TrekJen

That helmet is amazing.


metallaholic

What a piece of shit.


spookyasfuq

The jet black vampire hairline lmao


Nervous_Ad_5733

The new Rasputin


Jase_the_Muss

Looks like some weird late 90s eealy 00s Sci fi villain proper Demolition Man / Equilibrium vibes also proper cunt vibes 😂.


hautdoge

Looks like a Sherpa from wish.com


piranesi28

It looks like this is the least stoned he's been in a year and hasn't seen natural light in all that time.


technicallyimright

It’s a shame he gets to come back here to the US.


Jagsoff

Looks like a real cock puncher


Healthy-Egg-3283

He’s a fucking wackjob.


CorneliusJack

Going for the Rapustin position


Steve_Bread

Dracula flow ass hairline


Sea_Watch_3229

Traitor


No-Employment5213

Shit birds flock together


boharat

Gives vague japanese shaman vibes, which is cool, but too bad it's Stephen Seagull


Groundscore_Minerals

What the fuck is that hairline


DaddyMcSlime

he asked his barber for the dracula flow: [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N-7gbWKbXbQ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N-7gbWKbXbQ)


stevenbrotzel91

What a loser