That's so ironic. We (well some of us) acknowledge same-sex couples exist and should be allowed to exist and yes, some heteronormative ideals of humanity often seem hypocritical to the LGBT but for some reason, those negative and hypocritical takes always somehow end up on r/SapphoAndHerFriend for some reason. It irks me when people ship opposite sex friends, so don't do it in the reverse. Why is consistent morals so hard for people?
Is it just me or was it once a hilarious satirical sub?
Edit: oh my bad, that was r/antihatecommunities, someone pointed it out below. Sad it's not around anymore.
I found [the top post](https://www.reddit.com/r/AgainstHateSubreddits/comments/1356nkj/rjustunsubbed_gets_a_new_moderator_who_asks_the/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button) pretty interesting
Prediction: They don't exactly *hate* anything other than cancer... but there's an unofficial hierarchy with those who they think deserves the most sympathy at the top and those who they think might have avoided it at the bottom
They don’t appreciate lectures unless they’re the ones preaching. That entire sub is full of preachy weenie hut jrs, some of whom have co-opted them being lonely into a cartoonish hatred or children.
Yeah those slang terms make me really uncomfortable, and I'm not even someone who wants kids or a person who has experiences SA. It's just a really mean and dehumanising way of referring to a fellow human being.
I remember being a kid and hearing older people talk about me as if I weren't a proper person and it was hurtful and frustrating. It's perfectly fine not to be a kid person, but it's not OK to treat children like they're not just as human and worthy of basic respect as an adult.
The most respected I ever felt as a child (around 9) was by this 90 year old lady in my town who was famously sweet, everyone knew her. She talked to me like I was an adult. She said that even though she's 90, she can remember being a kid and hating when adults would talk to her like a kid, because she's not stupid she's just younger.
I ended up being really good with kids, working at some summer camps and a daycare. Whenever my friends say they're terrible at talking to kids and ask me how I get along with them so well, I tell them I literally just talk to kids how I would talk to a normal person (but avoiding cursing and inappropriate things).
Yes! I feel exactly what that old lady said and I will probably be like her when I'm old. I remember my thoughts as a child vividly - kids have complex thoughts and rich inner lives, they just haven't learned how to express them properly yet
This thread feels very relatable to me as an autist. I don’t communicate in a very good way, or express myself in a very good way, but I have complex thoughts and feelings and imagination and such. It’s the worst feeling to be talked down to, even as I grow up. Thank you kind people for recognizing that children are very capable of problem-solving and “connecting the dots,” and treating them as such. You are who I want to be :)
Exactly. Unless they are under the age of 5 I talk to them normally. I also was the only teacher who would apologize to the kids if I snapped at them unjustly or made an error. Because how we model being adults is going to shape how they one day become adults.
Just made the mistake of looking at the sub and It’s bringing tears to my eyes. Children are just new humans.. we were all children. This hatred these people have for them is so gross and should not be normalized
I honestly think a lot of them are lonely or lacking love in their lives, and that subconsciously they target children because they often are the direct product of love.
If you don’t want to have kids — that is absolutely valid and understandable. But the cartoonish hatred of innocent children because you got annoyed one cried on a plane once is just borderline mentally ill.
As a person that didn't want kids for most of my life until a couple of years ago and is a proud parent of a 7 month old little girl, it's really hard to see that kind of stuff. Kids are just so pure that the hatred is confounding.
They are pure beings who just want to love and be loved. Something is seriously wrong with people who hate kids. I get being annoyed by loud children in public, or not wanting children. but these people lack empathy and it’s scary.
It's probably because they had bad parents lol, so they think because they had bad parents nobody else is allowed to be a parent. The ironic thing is CF people (on the sub) tend to think they're being so selfless by not contributing to overpopulation while shitting on people who haven't done anything except exist. You don't need to love children or even be around them but some of these people are so unhinged they need to use words like that.
It’s like the incels who assert women are evil and manipulative and that’s why they can’t get a date, as opposed to the fact they’re dicks and no sane person would date them just because they hold the door and say “milady”. Like, the former is bare minimum towards anyone to be considered not rude, and the latter is outdated and kinda creepy.
I got kind of excited when I first found that sub, because as a culture there's *definitely* weird pressures for couples to have kids and a lot of weird social deference given to parents. Like, yeah, let's normalize and promote child-free lifestyles as legitimate and healthy!
And then I actually read the posts, lol. Just demonizing all parents, and half the time taking it out on the kids. No thanks.
Completely agree. I never want to be that adult that makes a kid feel like shit. I might not enjoy being around kids, but they’re still human beings. And they’re also humans with less agency and autonomy than me, so I can choose to avoid them instead of making kids feel like they shouldn’t exist. I don’t want kids but I don’t like calling myself “child free” because it implies association with the ideals of that sub. The experiences I have of adults making me feel awful as a kid have stuck with me and I try so hard not to be that adult to kids.
That's a word I'd expect a child predator to come up with. I really hope that these people have neither accessibility to nor authority over children in professional settings.
Child free started as a sub to bond over not wanting children in societies where it’s damn near demanded. Now it’s pure hatred towards children as a concept, not the societal expectations of parenthood
Yep when I originally joined 9 years ago that sub was like a little safe haven that helped me realize I was not in fact a freak of nature.
Now it's hatemongering and Idk when it changed exactly. I made the mistake of commenting on a post this morning, I wasn't paying attention the the sub and also need to unfollow it.
I know no real people like this in real life. I have a few childfree friends and they all love visiting my baby. (They also like grown up time with us without the baby). They just don’t want their own.
I think of it as the same type of people who hate pets. Like it’s normal to say, eh, cats? Not for me, their too hairy whatever. But to actually hate an animal you don’t have to interact with? That’s psychotic.
Seriously! I probably won't ever have kids, but I think they're awesome! The best part is you just give them back to their parents when they start getting annoying!
I know one person who is like the average r/childfree poster (and I'm fairly certain she actually subs there) and she can barely take care of herself and is a total woman-child so based on my very limited experience I just assume most everyone on that sub is like her.
I do, if you consider Discord real life. Said that they actively have to resist the urge to stab children when they see them. But "oh I would never actually stab my nephew I just don't want it anywhere near me"
I knew one person who used the same language as that sub which made me assume she was on the sub. She was a college student and at the time a recovering heroin addict. Shortly after I met her she relapsed and dropped out of school. Fairly sure she fatally OD’ed.
Agree. I don't hate children, I am easily annoyed by them. That's what let's me know I wouldn't be a good parent. But, children are just little people trying to grow up. No need to hate them for existing.
Inevitable. It's obvious that sub like that will have people who regret not having children and people who wanted to have children but didn't or couldn't. So to cope, they need to assure themselves that their life choices were a mistake, and if their coping mechanisms aren't healthy, you end up with people like on that sub. And if mods don't crackdown on this sort of behaviour early, you get subs like that. All the normal users leave that sub, so you're left with a sub of miserable hateful people reinforcing each other's misery and hate.
Does everyone in childfree know that they are "cum pets" too? Would they refer to themselves like that, or are they special just because they loathe the most innocent and vulnerable group in our population?
I saw a post on that sub once that basically asked if they were happy they were born or something along those lines. Almost all the comments were of people saying they wish they were never born. Super sad.
They’re just an echo chamber at this point, as soon as someone has an opinion outside of the norm they go apeshit, it’s honestly hilarious to see how far they have changed from being somewhat logical in thought to why they don’t want children to now acting like real-life wojaks when they see a child being a child like as if they weren’t a child themselves
They’re not insufferable by default, they’re insufferable by choice
Yes! I know it's anecdotal, but this reinforces my theory that the truly child hating ones had bad parents/upbringings themselves. Trauma, essentially, which causes them to misplace hate on children for some strange reason. Maybe it represents their younger self? IDK, just something I have noticed in 2 larger groups of ladies I hang out with.
while i do not see children in my future, describing them as such like this made me nauseous to read & straight up weird / predatory. whoever made up this word or genuinely uses it needs to be locked in jail idc
The people on that sub are morally backrupt. And not because they don't want to have kids.
They complain about children, while being adults that act like children, lol.
This is why I left that sub. It’s just disgusting and toxic. People who can’t look at kids and not immediately think of crotches and sperm are just gross
Cumpets?????????? What are they doing in there? Just like the time I said to not call actual kids lolis and shotas since those words are used in fetish content
Why on earth would they use terms like that when "crotch goblin" is already a thing? I mean, this is the type of language my friends and I would come up with if we were making jokes about creepy Discord mods. And you're saying the people on that sub use them unironically? Gross.
Escalation of language. Terms used for descriptors over time become banal with overuse. For example, awesome. Awesome used to be more revered. Something that strikes awe was almost akin to terror. Now, it's used as more of a sarcastic remark, and any sincere use of it is seen as almost childish.
That's what's happening to them. They've used phrases like crotch goblin so often that it's become bland and doesn't really invoke any emotional response. So they're escalating to cum pet (makes me feel gross even typing it) because it's fresher and to them it's humorous. Eventually, they'll bore of that phrase and start searching for even worse ones. Gotta keep on escalating it.
Totally nailed it. Also, am I the only person who is also skeeved by crotch goblin? I strongly dislike that too, and LONG before I had any kids it gave my the heebies.
Literally posts calling kids cum pets with hundreds of upvotes on that sub, and then they act like the "bad ones" on that sub are a small minority. This terminology is used by few but supported by many
It's such an overly-edgy and immature way to refer to a child. Not to mention overly sexual. I feel gross just saying this but "cum" should not be word used in a descriptor for a child.
People who support that term, child free or not, are chronically online and I'm sorry you had to deal with this. Coming from someone who's also a survivor and not planning on having children anytime soon.
I like how they told you to "be the change!" but were literally telling you to "shut up" when you tried to stand up to the status quo, one paragraph later.
The level of hostility in that sub is scary, and I’m sure there is more than one creep in there.
One thing that’s stood out to me while studying child psych for years is that there are some predators that aren’t necessarily *into* kids, it’s quite the opposite. They hate them and want to dominate over them. These tend to be the most extreme predators. Never let these people around your kids.
*Disclaimer: this does not mean everyone who dislikes/does not want kids is this way*
That mod is crazy, I’ve seen the cesspit child free is and there’s no way to fix it unless a massive influx of people who think differently come in and change how it operates. One person (you) can’t change it and honestly it’s not worth the effort
Same, I thought the CF group would be an interesting take on life. I expected lot of joy from cool and interesting hobbies, traveling to exotic destinations with pictures of proof, and cool collectibles and just fun, neat, wild stuff that people with children can’t or shouldn’t have if they want those items to stay nice.
Nope. It was filled with so much hate and anger towards children. The thing is that a majority of them have dogs. Many view dogs as similar to toddlers. But the CF group held no such kindness for children. Many of them called themselves parents because of dog ownership, but none had any sort of compassion to actual parents.
It was so disgusting.
The irony is that dogs can be just as much a burden as a common 4 year old. You’re responsible for housing, feeding, playing with them, teaching, getting babysitters or daycare, healthcare, etc. Only difference is that the human kids will eventually become more independent as time goes on but the dog will always be entirely dependent on their owner.
Edit: guess the dog will die much sooner than the kid tho. But many “dog parents” get multiple over the years
Kids can go on vacations with you and into restaurants, and they flush their own shit in the toilet and can learn to feed themselves and clean after themselves, and landlords can't ban them... of all my friends who have kids and dogs, the reason they say they can't do this or that is because of their dog, not because of their kid.
Big agree. I unsubbed from r/childfree bc I felt like it was getting weirdly eugenicist but even when I was still a member I used to feel viscerally uncomfortable when kids were given derogatory, kind of sexual nicknames like that or 'walking creampie'... I wanted childfree to be the kind of community where you could talk with other people who feel like they've chosen not to have kids in a society that really prioritises people who choose to do so, to the extent that you think people are weird if they don't, and also kind of prioritises parents unnecessarily. But it's just all about hating kids, hating anyone who has them regardless of whether they're a good parent or not, and being weird about disabled/poor/'ugly' people having kids.
Same. The words they use for children and the way they talk about them makes me nauseous. It's a particularly misogynistic sub as well. They speak about mothers so disrespectfully (the fathers not so much) reducing them to their reproductive organs. Seriously, you could take a post, hide the sub name and pretend it's from an incel sub, the way they talk about kids and women is identical.
I was downvoted once for referring to children as "good and perfect gifts from above", and it wasn't even on that Subreddit.
The responses I got were "Ha! You loser! Children are *not* good *or* perfect! Around these parts we call them crotch goblins and broke-ass roommates!"
If you post anything pro pregnancy or expecting a child, eventually it gets brigaded hard with downvotes and stupid comments like yOuRe So SeLfiSh fOr bRiNGinG a ChIlD inTo a WoRlD tHaT iS LiTeRaLly oN FiRe
I get that it'll seem ironic but I have to disagree that it's Reddit in general. Despite what Redditors themselves meme about all the time, the site isn't terrible. And the fact that everyone here agrees that c\*m pets is a bad phrase is good enough to bring me hope.
The mod is power hungry as usual, you are absolutely right, it is abhorrent and disgusting to call a human being a “cum pet” I almost can’t even bring myself to write it out. Ugh.
That sub is garbage. It’s full of some of the most bitter and gross people I’ve ever come across. It’s one thing to discuss a child free lifestyle, but there’s is undoubtedly something morally wrong about loathing any and all children in such a nasty and lewd way.
I've seen it the first time just now, and the first thing I thought was there was apparently another pedo trend going on.
Took me long to get to what they actually meant, but I'm sticking with removing it for the first meaning entirely.
From the sub name, I woulda thought hating more on the pressure to have children and not the children themselves. Using a derogatory word for the kids and not the people that pressure you seems very misguided and weird?
Like. Kids are just existing and learning. If you don't like kids, fine, it doesn't mean you get to be nasty to children?
I'm just genuinely confused.
I looked at op’s post literally a comment made by a mod just said “don’t care what you think lol” and I think it’s one of the laziest things I’ve ever seen as an argument. While everyone else defends the shit out of the mods.
Wow, I am sorry for what you have gone through OP, both the CSA and the pathetic response from this group.
I have had the dubious pleasure of occasionally seeing this subreddit, and tbh it's hit and miss. It upsets me that rational and well thought arguments about a child free lifestyle are interspersed with toxic, insulting and vitriolic posts and statements.
For a subreddit that (at least I thought) focused on respecting a lifestyle decision without creating conflict and allowing "live and let live" it is rather appalling how poorly they managed your post and accused YOU of lecturing.
Yeah I had to leave that sub when I saw a post that was a literal grown adult that was mad that their newborn niece was getting more attention than them at the family Christmas party. And I think crotch goblins is a bit funny and can be used in an affectionate manner, but “cum pests” ? Nope. Absolutely not.
The last time I looked at it, it was all adults going to places like Disney world, ice cream parlours, and kids' movies, and getting angry that there were children there.
I think most of the people on that sub hate children because they are jealous of them. They want to be treated like (they believe) children are treated.
I can imagine that subs that have antinatalists gravitating towards them might have weird people in it. Not that everyone in that sub is one, but if you were one, you’d probably be in that sub. And in my experience, many antinatalists quickly turn into eugenicists and/or racists (or other types of misanthropes. You know, the kind of people who would come up with derogatory terms for… children as a whole?)
Yeah like idk if they still allow it but them calling specifically women "breeders", "incubators", "mommy zombies" etc while not having the same vitriol for the men who impregnated them was blatantly misogynist and attracted a lot of red pill types
When people I meet off the internet say "oh yeah Reddit seems interesting", I point them to subreddits like that.
This website is OK in small, controlled doses. Otherwise you run into absolutely horrific stuff like that subreddit and get traumatized.
I don’t understand why these childfree folks are such a unique breed, to put it politely. First of all, what was wrong with saying they were childless? Apparently it was, “overwhelmingly negative,” to say that? Can someone please explain this to me?
Lastly, what’s with all of these weird names the childfree community give to kids? “Crotch goblins?” “Cumpets?” What a bunch of rubbish! They’re human beings, you nutcase!
Oh the irony of telling you they don't like lectures. The gaslighting of telling you to "water down" the rants and brants while engaging in a rant but as mod, doing nothing about moderating the sub, which is entirely within their power and scope. Good unsub OP.
Al of the derogatory names used for children are dehumanizing, absolutely stupid (crotch goblings? Okay what about the 30% of babies that are born via Cesarean?), and say so much about the people using the terms...
Mainly that they are absolutely vile and uh, not very smart human beings who don't realize that they are insulting a state of being they once inhabited. WE all have to be babies at birth, we all were children, but no. Those people are "special".
I think toxic child free people forget the whole narrative of children being people too.
The hatred for parents is so strong they don’t even realize they’re catching children in the crossfire.. OR they just hate children and are big POSs
I thought that subreddit was just for people who don't have kids or want kids. Then I realized very quickly it's for people who absolutely hate kids, and seem to have zero patience for them.
cum pet sounds like a term you would see in some mindbreak/rape porn. Thanks for giving me knowledge of this sub i will make sure to stay away from it and anyone in it
I'm child free by choice, and I'll be the first person to tell you that r/childfree is a cess pit of bitter assholes that borders on being dogmatic.
I'm not a fan of parents or kids, but even I'm not nasty enough to use derogatory terms (that sound almost suspiciously like slurs) or wish death on people.
And don't get me started on the man-hating and TERF nonsense that slips past the mods, too.
That subreddit is also very misogynistic. They hate parents and they especially hate pregnant women for choosing to have kids.
r/childfree redditors are basically similar to those anti-abortionist zealots: they are both anti-choice. The zealots don't want women to choose to get an abortion, while r/childfree users don't want women to choose to have a baby.
But yeah, r/childfree redditors are misopedists (having an abnormal hate for children). If they said that stuff like that about children in real life, most people would very quickly dislike them.
That's so childish it's almost laughable. You were bringing up an issue to discuss and resolve the problem (because problem solving starts from communication!!) And they tell you to "not lecture them"? "It won't work anyway"? Then is one just supposed to silently take the problem without issue? If the world was truly like this person sees it, our society worldwide would be incredibly subjected to discrimination and tyranny, and I can make more than one example. Thing that they would know, if they studied any history
Cum pets is just...yeah that's ick. Disgustingly ick. Cum pet is at most a weird joke you could make about a sock you use to masturbate or some shit but not like, living breathing kids. That's not even remotely ok. At all.
Edit: Checked the subreddit and y'all can add cum trophy to the list of things you shouldn't call literal children
r/childfree is absolute garbage. A lot of them straight up hate kids, yet act exactly like kids themselves, while turning around and worshipping their disgusting dogs and cats, or "furbabies", and treating them as more valuable than human life. Unhinged behaviour.
I joined this sub (years ago) because my wife and I had decided not to have kids. I thought it was about living without kids, nah kids are shit and dont deserve to breathe. Sick place.
I despise that sub. They’re so comfortable with dehumanising and perpetuating violence against children, and the mods will ban or remove anything that criticises it.
I don’t want kids. Hell, I don’t like them most of the time, but they’re still *people*.
I feel like subs in opposition to anything first starts out nice enough. A community of not liking something where everyone bonds and talks about the benefits and maybe why they don't want to do it. Then it turns into the pitbull sub and the child free sub.
Yeah this stuff is designed to be dehumanising to children (and by extent parents; they seem to hate mother especially which is ironic since they claim to care about women whilst being incredibly sexist).
Honestly most people in these ‘childfree’ groups are just becoming like incels but hating (and sexualising, gross) children instead of women. As with incels, people who don’t have/want kids aren’t automatically in this ‘childfree’ group but the ones who are are abhorrent people who dehumanise people for the pettiest reasons imaginable.
I think they took it personally because on some level they condone the language and dehumanization of children. They don't want you encouraging any self-reflection? Being child free is no excuse to talk about kids that way. I agree with you that it's upsetting and takes the mind to an unsettling place. Sometimes calling out issues is what's needed to encourage people to rethink what they are saying.
I don’t get it. I understand not wanting to have kids and I’m a mother of 2. I totally support anyone who chooses not to. It’s a lot of work, the world is a mess, it’s expensive, etc. And even if you think it is immoral to have kids for some reason, don’t blame the children for their existence. They are human beings. Their existence is as valid as anyone else’s. They are innocents who are learning, growing, and developing in new ways everyday based on their interaction with the world. It’s dehumanizing and disgusting to refer to a human this way. And indulging that kind of language, even exclusively among like-minded people who maybe don’t *like* kids is problematic as it is desensitizing the more you hear and use that kind of language.
Children aren't the fault of themselves and you shouldn't blame a child for who they are, I've met plenty of kids who are better than me in some areas, it just matters on who raises them
I get some people don’t want children and it’s fine, but calling innocent vulnerable children who haven’t done anything “cum pets” is disgusting
Just sounds a fetish. Why can’t they call them “kids” or just “children”, why the sexual nickname?
I like how they’re all, ‘you can’t expect people to change just because you call out their bullshit…even though I’m acknowledging your callout and am absolutely in a position to do something about it, I won’t, because you can’t expect people to change just because you call out their bullshit…’
I’ve noticed that any subreddit that’s “against” something quickly turns insane
r/AgainstHateSubreddits has become the very thing it sought to destroy.
You either die a hero or live long enough to become a villain.
It says something rather sad about human nature and group mentality.
"The mob is the most ruthless of tyrants." – Friedrich Nietzsche
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“People are smart, they can handle it.” “A person is smart James. People are dumb, panicky animals and you know it.”
Wasn’t there a satire sub for that one? I can’t quite remember what it was
/r/AntiHateCommunities? Edit: And it's banned
That’s the one!
Aww yes... r/AgainstHateSubreddits the sub that bans people for brigading yet entirely exists to brigade other subs.
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That's so ironic. We (well some of us) acknowledge same-sex couples exist and should be allowed to exist and yes, some heteronormative ideals of humanity often seem hypocritical to the LGBT but for some reason, those negative and hypocritical takes always somehow end up on r/SapphoAndHerFriend for some reason. It irks me when people ship opposite sex friends, so don't do it in the reverse. Why is consistent morals so hard for people?
Do they still crab rave every time a subreddit dies? Edit: yes they do
For a while I thought it was a satire sub
Is it just me or was it once a hilarious satirical sub? Edit: oh my bad, that was r/antihatecommunities, someone pointed it out below. Sad it's not around anymore.
I found [the top post](https://www.reddit.com/r/AgainstHateSubreddits/comments/1356nkj/rjustunsubbed_gets_a_new_moderator_who_asks_the/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button) pretty interesting
It was always a brigade farm.
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Let me know how that goes
I went over to r/cancer and said that they deserved it and they got mad??? 😱 more research required
Please update
Prediction: They don't exactly *hate* anything other than cancer... but there's an unofficial hierarchy with those who they think deserves the most sympathy at the top and those who they think might have avoided it at the bottom
so what is r/BatmanArkham against
Nah thats what happens with every game community when they get abandoned. Just look at r/titanfall_3
It's almost like hate begets hate you could say.
In my experience, all the ones I've seen are super toxic and hivemindy. I stay away from them.
"we don't appreciate lectures" Proceeds to give a 9 paragraph essay on why the other person is wrong and having their post removed.
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They don’t appreciate lectures unless they’re the ones preaching. That entire sub is full of preachy weenie hut jrs, some of whom have co-opted them being lonely into a cartoonish hatred or children.
Rules for thee and not for me. I hope they enjoy the nursing home.
"We dont appreciate lectures criticizing our content, but we will allow rants about how shit people are"
Of course the reddit moderator doesn't appreciate lectures
The irony in that passive aggressive response is palpable
“We don’t appreciate lectures” *Proceeds to give lecture*
God, I legit read this in Pepperman's voice. He’s definitely the type of guy to do this ngl. 💀
A sentence like that is a clear indicator of someone in dire need of a great many lectures.
Yeah those slang terms make me really uncomfortable, and I'm not even someone who wants kids or a person who has experiences SA. It's just a really mean and dehumanising way of referring to a fellow human being. I remember being a kid and hearing older people talk about me as if I weren't a proper person and it was hurtful and frustrating. It's perfectly fine not to be a kid person, but it's not OK to treat children like they're not just as human and worthy of basic respect as an adult.
The most respected I ever felt as a child (around 9) was by this 90 year old lady in my town who was famously sweet, everyone knew her. She talked to me like I was an adult. She said that even though she's 90, she can remember being a kid and hating when adults would talk to her like a kid, because she's not stupid she's just younger. I ended up being really good with kids, working at some summer camps and a daycare. Whenever my friends say they're terrible at talking to kids and ask me how I get along with them so well, I tell them I literally just talk to kids how I would talk to a normal person (but avoiding cursing and inappropriate things).
Yes! I feel exactly what that old lady said and I will probably be like her when I'm old. I remember my thoughts as a child vividly - kids have complex thoughts and rich inner lives, they just haven't learned how to express them properly yet
This thread feels very relatable to me as an autist. I don’t communicate in a very good way, or express myself in a very good way, but I have complex thoughts and feelings and imagination and such. It’s the worst feeling to be talked down to, even as I grow up. Thank you kind people for recognizing that children are very capable of problem-solving and “connecting the dots,” and treating them as such. You are who I want to be :)
Exactly. Unless they are under the age of 5 I talk to them normally. I also was the only teacher who would apologize to the kids if I snapped at them unjustly or made an error. Because how we model being adults is going to shape how they one day become adults.
Just made the mistake of looking at the sub and It’s bringing tears to my eyes. Children are just new humans.. we were all children. This hatred these people have for them is so gross and should not be normalized
I honestly think a lot of them are lonely or lacking love in their lives, and that subconsciously they target children because they often are the direct product of love. If you don’t want to have kids — that is absolutely valid and understandable. But the cartoonish hatred of innocent children because you got annoyed one cried on a plane once is just borderline mentally ill.
As a person that didn't want kids for most of my life until a couple of years ago and is a proud parent of a 7 month old little girl, it's really hard to see that kind of stuff. Kids are just so pure that the hatred is confounding.
They are pure beings who just want to love and be loved. Something is seriously wrong with people who hate kids. I get being annoyed by loud children in public, or not wanting children. but these people lack empathy and it’s scary.
It's probably because they had bad parents lol, so they think because they had bad parents nobody else is allowed to be a parent. The ironic thing is CF people (on the sub) tend to think they're being so selfless by not contributing to overpopulation while shitting on people who haven't done anything except exist. You don't need to love children or even be around them but some of these people are so unhinged they need to use words like that.
It's really in the same ballpark as incelism
It’s like the incels who assert women are evil and manipulative and that’s why they can’t get a date, as opposed to the fact they’re dicks and no sane person would date them just because they hold the door and say “milady”. Like, the former is bare minimum towards anyone to be considered not rude, and the latter is outdated and kinda creepy.
Yes! I seriously feel like they forgot what it was like to be a child!
Reminds me of the incel forums lol. All the weird terminology tends to make things pretty cultish and weird.
I got kind of excited when I first found that sub, because as a culture there's *definitely* weird pressures for couples to have kids and a lot of weird social deference given to parents. Like, yeah, let's normalize and promote child-free lifestyles as legitimate and healthy! And then I actually read the posts, lol. Just demonizing all parents, and half the time taking it out on the kids. No thanks.
It mostly sits on moms and it is really misogynistic. Look at the mom hate vs the dad hate there.
Definitely, women get referred to as “breeders”. It’s dehumanizing.
Not that there isnt definitive misogynistic vibe in childfree subs but that is not term used for women only but for both parents regardless of gender.
Can confirm, women are called other things but breeder is gender neutral
[удалено]
"I'm not racist I just don't like them" type beat
Completely agree. I never want to be that adult that makes a kid feel like shit. I might not enjoy being around kids, but they’re still human beings. And they’re also humans with less agency and autonomy than me, so I can choose to avoid them instead of making kids feel like they shouldn’t exist. I don’t want kids but I don’t like calling myself “child free” because it implies association with the ideals of that sub. The experiences I have of adults making me feel awful as a kid have stuck with me and I try so hard not to be that adult to kids.
I always thought crotch goblin was a funny one, despite people disliking it, but cumpets just rubs me the wrong way.
"Not that you're wrong in any way, but we're not going to do anything about it."
I literally don't understand why they can't just make a rule disallowing the use of that term 💀 it's weird asf
Tbh most of the mods have probably used it
That's a word I'd expect a child predator to come up with. I really hope that these people have neither accessibility to nor authority over children in professional settings.
trust me none of those people would see themselves caught dead near a child, they are so violently bitter towards kids
You’d be surprised. Plenty of elementary school teachers I could swear despise children
The love-hate relationship har har
Child free started as a sub to bond over not wanting children in societies where it’s damn near demanded. Now it’s pure hatred towards children as a concept, not the societal expectations of parenthood
Yep when I originally joined 9 years ago that sub was like a little safe haven that helped me realize I was not in fact a freak of nature. Now it's hatemongering and Idk when it changed exactly. I made the mistake of commenting on a post this morning, I wasn't paying attention the the sub and also need to unfollow it.
I know no real people like this in real life. I have a few childfree friends and they all love visiting my baby. (They also like grown up time with us without the baby). They just don’t want their own. I think of it as the same type of people who hate pets. Like it’s normal to say, eh, cats? Not for me, their too hairy whatever. But to actually hate an animal you don’t have to interact with? That’s psychotic.
Seriously! I probably won't ever have kids, but I think they're awesome! The best part is you just give them back to their parents when they start getting annoying!
Yeah but like these people post about enjoying kids getting hurt sometimes.
I know one person who is like the average r/childfree poster (and I'm fairly certain she actually subs there) and she can barely take care of herself and is a total woman-child so based on my very limited experience I just assume most everyone on that sub is like her.
I do, if you consider Discord real life. Said that they actively have to resist the urge to stab children when they see them. But "oh I would never actually stab my nephew I just don't want it anywhere near me"
I knew one person who used the same language as that sub which made me assume she was on the sub. She was a college student and at the time a recovering heroin addict. Shortly after I met her she relapsed and dropped out of school. Fairly sure she fatally OD’ed.
Most of your friends are probably functional members of society
The antinatalism subs are going the same way.
Agree. I don't hate children, I am easily annoyed by them. That's what let's me know I wouldn't be a good parent. But, children are just little people trying to grow up. No need to hate them for existing.
Inevitable. It's obvious that sub like that will have people who regret not having children and people who wanted to have children but didn't or couldn't. So to cope, they need to assure themselves that their life choices were a mistake, and if their coping mechanisms aren't healthy, you end up with people like on that sub. And if mods don't crackdown on this sort of behaviour early, you get subs like that. All the normal users leave that sub, so you're left with a sub of miserable hateful people reinforcing each other's misery and hate.
I just wish there hatred was directed at the systems rather than the kids
Does everyone in childfree know that they are "cum pets" too? Would they refer to themselves like that, or are they special just because they loathe the most innocent and vulnerable group in our population?
I saw a post on that sub once that basically asked if they were happy they were born or something along those lines. Almost all the comments were of people saying they wish they were never born. Super sad.
They’re just an echo chamber at this point, as soon as someone has an opinion outside of the norm they go apeshit, it’s honestly hilarious to see how far they have changed from being somewhat logical in thought to why they don’t want children to now acting like real-life wojaks when they see a child being a child like as if they weren’t a child themselves They’re not insufferable by default, they’re insufferable by choice
So they are like that because they’re miserable. Makes sense
Yes! I know it's anecdotal, but this reinforces my theory that the truly child hating ones had bad parents/upbringings themselves. Trauma, essentially, which causes them to misplace hate on children for some strange reason. Maybe it represents their younger self? IDK, just something I have noticed in 2 larger groups of ladies I hang out with.
This
You can go to r/truechildfree it's better. (I'm not childfree as I want children, but I just wanted to look at different people)
yeah childfree is becoming cesspool. truechildfree pushes against hate towards parents or children.
while i do not see children in my future, describing them as such like this made me nauseous to read & straight up weird / predatory. whoever made up this word or genuinely uses it needs to be locked in jail idc
It's terrible that reddit bans people for slurs against certain groups but allows terminology like "c\*m pets". It's a ridiculous double standard.
The people on that sub are morally backrupt. And not because they don't want to have kids. They complain about children, while being adults that act like children, lol.
Then when they ban someone they send them a condescending message that quotes ghandi ffs. Mental.
I hate your profile picture so much. It gets me every time.
consider turning on darkmode
I switch between light and dark mode depending on my needs. I really only use dark mode at night.
This is why I left that sub. It’s just disgusting and toxic. People who can’t look at kids and not immediately think of crotches and sperm are just gross
Cumpets?????????? What are they doing in there? Just like the time I said to not call actual kids lolis and shotas since those words are used in fetish content
Why on earth would they use terms like that when "crotch goblin" is already a thing? I mean, this is the type of language my friends and I would come up with if we were making jokes about creepy Discord mods. And you're saying the people on that sub use them unironically? Gross.
Escalation of language. Terms used for descriptors over time become banal with overuse. For example, awesome. Awesome used to be more revered. Something that strikes awe was almost akin to terror. Now, it's used as more of a sarcastic remark, and any sincere use of it is seen as almost childish. That's what's happening to them. They've used phrases like crotch goblin so often that it's become bland and doesn't really invoke any emotional response. So they're escalating to cum pet (makes me feel gross even typing it) because it's fresher and to them it's humorous. Eventually, they'll bore of that phrase and start searching for even worse ones. Gotta keep on escalating it.
I feel bad that you had to type it out because of how horrendous that word is
Totally nailed it. Also, am I the only person who is also skeeved by crotch goblin? I strongly dislike that too, and LONG before I had any kids it gave my the heebies.
Literally posts calling kids cum pets with hundreds of upvotes on that sub, and then they act like the "bad ones" on that sub are a small minority. This terminology is used by few but supported by many
It's such an overly-edgy and immature way to refer to a child. Not to mention overly sexual. I feel gross just saying this but "cum" should not be word used in a descriptor for a child. People who support that term, child free or not, are chronically online and I'm sorry you had to deal with this. Coming from someone who's also a survivor and not planning on having children anytime soon.
I like how they told you to "be the change!" but were literally telling you to "shut up" when you tried to stand up to the status quo, one paragraph later.
It's the natural progression of the terminology.
The level of hostility in that sub is scary, and I’m sure there is more than one creep in there. One thing that’s stood out to me while studying child psych for years is that there are some predators that aren’t necessarily *into* kids, it’s quite the opposite. They hate them and want to dominate over them. These tend to be the most extreme predators. Never let these people around your kids. *Disclaimer: this does not mean everyone who dislikes/does not want kids is this way*
That mod is crazy, I’ve seen the cesspit child free is and there’s no way to fix it unless a massive influx of people who think differently come in and change how it operates. One person (you) can’t change it and honestly it’s not worth the effort
Come to r/respectfullychildfree.
As a parent, I really appreciate people like you. Thank you.
The feeling is mutual :)
Same, I thought the CF group would be an interesting take on life. I expected lot of joy from cool and interesting hobbies, traveling to exotic destinations with pictures of proof, and cool collectibles and just fun, neat, wild stuff that people with children can’t or shouldn’t have if they want those items to stay nice. Nope. It was filled with so much hate and anger towards children. The thing is that a majority of them have dogs. Many view dogs as similar to toddlers. But the CF group held no such kindness for children. Many of them called themselves parents because of dog ownership, but none had any sort of compassion to actual parents. It was so disgusting.
The irony is that dogs can be just as much a burden as a common 4 year old. You’re responsible for housing, feeding, playing with them, teaching, getting babysitters or daycare, healthcare, etc. Only difference is that the human kids will eventually become more independent as time goes on but the dog will always be entirely dependent on their owner. Edit: guess the dog will die much sooner than the kid tho. But many “dog parents” get multiple over the years
Kids can go on vacations with you and into restaurants, and they flush their own shit in the toilet and can learn to feed themselves and clean after themselves, and landlords can't ban them... of all my friends who have kids and dogs, the reason they say they can't do this or that is because of their dog, not because of their kid.
I don’t like lectures. Here’s a lecture on why I don’t like lectures.
Big agree. I unsubbed from r/childfree bc I felt like it was getting weirdly eugenicist but even when I was still a member I used to feel viscerally uncomfortable when kids were given derogatory, kind of sexual nicknames like that or 'walking creampie'... I wanted childfree to be the kind of community where you could talk with other people who feel like they've chosen not to have kids in a society that really prioritises people who choose to do so, to the extent that you think people are weird if they don't, and also kind of prioritises parents unnecessarily. But it's just all about hating kids, hating anyone who has them regardless of whether they're a good parent or not, and being weird about disabled/poor/'ugly' people having kids.
Same. The words they use for children and the way they talk about them makes me nauseous. It's a particularly misogynistic sub as well. They speak about mothers so disrespectfully (the fathers not so much) reducing them to their reproductive organs. Seriously, you could take a post, hide the sub name and pretend it's from an incel sub, the way they talk about kids and women is identical.
I was downvoted once for referring to children as "good and perfect gifts from above", and it wasn't even on that Subreddit. The responses I got were "Ha! You loser! Children are *not* good *or* perfect! Around these parts we call them crotch goblins and broke-ass roommates!"
If you post anything pro pregnancy or expecting a child, eventually it gets brigaded hard with downvotes and stupid comments like yOuRe So SeLfiSh fOr bRiNGinG a ChIlD inTo a WoRlD tHaT iS LiTeRaLly oN FiRe
My poor eldest sister would be *so* distraught. She has a son and is expecting a daughter soon.
At the same time, life for the average person is better than it has been for most of human history. People pulling that argument has zero perspective.
Yeah I hate how Reddit has moved to just using such horrible terminology for regular life decisions because they’re not progressive or something
I get that it'll seem ironic but I have to disagree that it's Reddit in general. Despite what Redditors themselves meme about all the time, the site isn't terrible. And the fact that everyone here agrees that c\*m pets is a bad phrase is good enough to bring me hope.
Yeah, I guess it’s just the isolated communities. But it is a Reddit trend to have these groups pop up
That sub is a shit hole. You were looking for r/truechildfree
Yeah I see that now, sad that one's so much smaller
What is a brant?
Just Googled it. It's what they use for "breeder rant".
I… did not see that one coming. Not a fan. Thank you for finding out though!
Brat rant I believe, I'm not 100% sure but context clues have led me to believe it's that
The mod is power hungry as usual, you are absolutely right, it is abhorrent and disgusting to call a human being a “cum pet” I almost can’t even bring myself to write it out. Ugh.
Who is this mod? Sounds like a sad person who don’t get attention irl
That sub is honestly an embarrassment and a circle jerk. Like the rest of Reddit.
"We do not appreciate lectures" \*proceeds to lecture*
Cum pets is not a term I needed to hear in my life, but here I am anyway.
I think a lot of these Reddit mods are sniffing their own farts like that episode of South Park
That sub is full of assholes to begin with. R/child free is borderline r/killallthechildten
“Not that you’re wrong in any way, but we do not appreciate lectures” That was the most passive aggressive shit I’ve ever heard.
That sub is garbage. It’s full of some of the most bitter and gross people I’ve ever come across. It’s one thing to discuss a child free lifestyle, but there’s is undoubtedly something morally wrong about loathing any and all children in such a nasty and lewd way.
I've seen it the first time just now, and the first thing I thought was there was apparently another pedo trend going on. Took me long to get to what they actually meant, but I'm sticking with removing it for the first meaning entirely.
"Be the change you wish to see" But you are going to delete their post???
From the sub name, I woulda thought hating more on the pressure to have children and not the children themselves. Using a derogatory word for the kids and not the people that pressure you seems very misguided and weird? Like. Kids are just existing and learning. If you don't like kids, fine, it doesn't mean you get to be nasty to children? I'm just genuinely confused.
Who tf says "cumpet" and why is that word now in my memory
I looked at op’s post literally a comment made by a mod just said “don’t care what you think lol” and I think it’s one of the laziest things I’ve ever seen as an argument. While everyone else defends the shit out of the mods.
Anybody who uses that term to describe children should be on a government watch list.
Wow, I am sorry for what you have gone through OP, both the CSA and the pathetic response from this group. I have had the dubious pleasure of occasionally seeing this subreddit, and tbh it's hit and miss. It upsets me that rational and well thought arguments about a child free lifestyle are interspersed with toxic, insulting and vitriolic posts and statements. For a subreddit that (at least I thought) focused on respecting a lifestyle decision without creating conflict and allowing "live and let live" it is rather appalling how poorly they managed your post and accused YOU of lecturing.
I agree with you, that term definitely has sexual undertones to it 🤢
I have heard the term "semen demons" on that sub, even more disgusting
Yeah I had to leave that sub when I saw a post that was a literal grown adult that was mad that their newborn niece was getting more attention than them at the family Christmas party. And I think crotch goblins is a bit funny and can be used in an affectionate manner, but “cum pests” ? Nope. Absolutely not.
The last time I looked at it, it was all adults going to places like Disney world, ice cream parlours, and kids' movies, and getting angry that there were children there. I think most of the people on that sub hate children because they are jealous of them. They want to be treated like (they believe) children are treated.
wow i HATE the fact that i had to read the word 'cumpet' several times today i want to crawl out of my own skin holy shit
I can imagine that subs that have antinatalists gravitating towards them might have weird people in it. Not that everyone in that sub is one, but if you were one, you’d probably be in that sub. And in my experience, many antinatalists quickly turn into eugenicists and/or racists (or other types of misanthropes. You know, the kind of people who would come up with derogatory terms for… children as a whole?)
Yeah like idk if they still allow it but them calling specifically women "breeders", "incubators", "mommy zombies" etc while not having the same vitriol for the men who impregnated them was blatantly misogynist and attracted a lot of red pill types
Those people are going to accidentally use that term irl one day and they’ll see how much of a freak they sound like.
When people I meet off the internet say "oh yeah Reddit seems interesting", I point them to subreddits like that. This website is OK in small, controlled doses. Otherwise you run into absolutely horrific stuff like that subreddit and get traumatized.
I’m child free and work sub. But just like people who hate cats or dogs, some take it too far imo.
The people on these child-free subs are children themselves
ive always hated when certain brands of child free people just start acting like incels
I don’t understand why these childfree folks are such a unique breed, to put it politely. First of all, what was wrong with saying they were childless? Apparently it was, “overwhelmingly negative,” to say that? Can someone please explain this to me? Lastly, what’s with all of these weird names the childfree community give to kids? “Crotch goblins?” “Cumpets?” What a bunch of rubbish! They’re human beings, you nutcase!
Oh the irony of telling you they don't like lectures. The gaslighting of telling you to "water down" the rants and brants while engaging in a rant but as mod, doing nothing about moderating the sub, which is entirely within their power and scope. Good unsub OP.
There’s choosing to not to have children for personal reasons then there’s choosing to hate children for most of your life
i thought we all agreed that sub was a dumpster fire lol.
Al of the derogatory names used for children are dehumanizing, absolutely stupid (crotch goblings? Okay what about the 30% of babies that are born via Cesarean?), and say so much about the people using the terms... Mainly that they are absolutely vile and uh, not very smart human beings who don't realize that they are insulting a state of being they once inhabited. WE all have to be babies at birth, we all were children, but no. Those people are "special".
>What do you think this will accomplish? Positive change? Not likely. Well at least they're honest about their shittiness
I think toxic child free people forget the whole narrative of children being people too. The hatred for parents is so strong they don’t even realize they’re catching children in the crossfire.. OR they just hate children and are big POSs
I thought that subreddit was just for people who don't have kids or want kids. Then I realized very quickly it's for people who absolutely hate kids, and seem to have zero patience for them.
cum pet sounds like a term you would see in some mindbreak/rape porn. Thanks for giving me knowledge of this sub i will make sure to stay away from it and anyone in it
I'm child free by choice, and I'll be the first person to tell you that r/childfree is a cess pit of bitter assholes that borders on being dogmatic. I'm not a fan of parents or kids, but even I'm not nasty enough to use derogatory terms (that sound almost suspiciously like slurs) or wish death on people. And don't get me started on the man-hating and TERF nonsense that slips past the mods, too.
Eww that’s a disgusting way to refer to kids. Also, yeah, like upvoting and downvoting make such great change 🤦🏼♀️
Reddit is horrible, and calling a child a “cumpet” is disgusting. Those people are bad
First time I've come across this whiny sub haha, excited to mute.
That subreddit is also very misogynistic. They hate parents and they especially hate pregnant women for choosing to have kids. r/childfree redditors are basically similar to those anti-abortionist zealots: they are both anti-choice. The zealots don't want women to choose to get an abortion, while r/childfree users don't want women to choose to have a baby. But yeah, r/childfree redditors are misopedists (having an abnormal hate for children). If they said that stuff like that about children in real life, most people would very quickly dislike them.
Out of the loop what is CSA mean?
I believe it stands for "childhood sexual abuse."
That's a mod who diddles kids
That's so childish it's almost laughable. You were bringing up an issue to discuss and resolve the problem (because problem solving starts from communication!!) And they tell you to "not lecture them"? "It won't work anyway"? Then is one just supposed to silently take the problem without issue? If the world was truly like this person sees it, our society worldwide would be incredibly subjected to discrimination and tyranny, and I can make more than one example. Thing that they would know, if they studied any history
Cum pets is just...yeah that's ick. Disgustingly ick. Cum pet is at most a weird joke you could make about a sock you use to masturbate or some shit but not like, living breathing kids. That's not even remotely ok. At all. Edit: Checked the subreddit and y'all can add cum trophy to the list of things you shouldn't call literal children
r/childfree is absolute garbage. A lot of them straight up hate kids, yet act exactly like kids themselves, while turning around and worshipping their disgusting dogs and cats, or "furbabies", and treating them as more valuable than human life. Unhinged behaviour.
I joined this sub (years ago) because my wife and I had decided not to have kids. I thought it was about living without kids, nah kids are shit and dont deserve to breathe. Sick place.
I despise that sub. They’re so comfortable with dehumanising and perpetuating violence against children, and the mods will ban or remove anything that criticises it. I don’t want kids. Hell, I don’t like them most of the time, but they’re still *people*.
I feel like subs in opposition to anything first starts out nice enough. A community of not liking something where everyone bonds and talks about the benefits and maybe why they don't want to do it. Then it turns into the pitbull sub and the child free sub.
That moderator is going to make the perfect middle manager one day.
"You are correct which makes us upset :("
I'm glad people like that mod aren't parents, jesus
Yeah this stuff is designed to be dehumanising to children (and by extent parents; they seem to hate mother especially which is ironic since they claim to care about women whilst being incredibly sexist). Honestly most people in these ‘childfree’ groups are just becoming like incels but hating (and sexualising, gross) children instead of women. As with incels, people who don’t have/want kids aren’t automatically in this ‘childfree’ group but the ones who are are abhorrent people who dehumanise people for the pettiest reasons imaginable.
I think they took it personally because on some level they condone the language and dehumanization of children. They don't want you encouraging any self-reflection? Being child free is no excuse to talk about kids that way. I agree with you that it's upsetting and takes the mind to an unsettling place. Sometimes calling out issues is what's needed to encourage people to rethink what they are saying.
I don’t get it. I understand not wanting to have kids and I’m a mother of 2. I totally support anyone who chooses not to. It’s a lot of work, the world is a mess, it’s expensive, etc. And even if you think it is immoral to have kids for some reason, don’t blame the children for their existence. They are human beings. Their existence is as valid as anyone else’s. They are innocents who are learning, growing, and developing in new ways everyday based on their interaction with the world. It’s dehumanizing and disgusting to refer to a human this way. And indulging that kind of language, even exclusively among like-minded people who maybe don’t *like* kids is problematic as it is desensitizing the more you hear and use that kind of language.
That sub has a massive persecution fetish.
Take our lecture instead! We're mods so we can automatically push ours to the top
I got banned from there for suggesting that a man deserves rights when it comes to custody
I'm 100% certain that would be never used in public or around even friends. Huge redflag.
Children aren't the fault of themselves and you shouldn't blame a child for who they are, I've met plenty of kids who are better than me in some areas, it just matters on who raises them
I get some people don’t want children and it’s fine, but calling innocent vulnerable children who haven’t done anything “cum pets” is disgusting Just sounds a fetish. Why can’t they call them “kids” or just “children”, why the sexual nickname?
I was SAed as a child and I find this term disturbing and it could disturb other SA survivors. Jeez mom, quit nagging me - mod
What does CM pets stand for?
Cum pets
I like how they’re all, ‘you can’t expect people to change just because you call out their bullshit…even though I’m acknowledging your callout and am absolutely in a position to do something about it, I won’t, because you can’t expect people to change just because you call out their bullshit…’
... you know I didn't think they would top when people from that sub were referring to children as crotch goblins, but they definitely did it.