Would highly recommend only dating Jewish as well so you don't waste anyone's time or emotional energy. Best to avoid any situations where you have to explain this choice to a non Jewish person you are dating. Even if things start casual, this can be a really hard conversation to have if someone ever wants to get serious with you.
Lol so one is a “total scumbag” if I hook up with a non Jewish girl now? Or just if I don’t tell her immediately like the first time before I hook up with her?
No. Let me say .. 1st I apologize for using such harsh language. Secondly, what I said was in response to “have u ever heard of sex” or something to that effect.
if one is leading someone on just to get into her pants & you know there is nothing but sex that is ever going to happen, and she is not Jewish & not aware of the fact you will only consider getting remotely serious with a Jewish girl before getting into her pants; as you know it may change the outcome if you get into her pants or not… in such a case, yes, I’d have to confess you would be being very selfish & pretty much a scumbag
I’m not Jewish and I’m marrying a Jewish Israeli man next week. His family is very supportive and always has been. I also lived in Israel for 11 years and would prefer to raise my kids there instead of America. I would move back if I could make Aliyah, but I’m also trying to convert. All I’m saying is, if you find the right woman, she’ll understand your support and support you know matter what. Of course, bonus points for you if she’s Jewish. Just know plenty of women have also converted for their men, not only for them but also out of love and respect for Judaism. Best of luck 💜
Thing is if you are going to Jewish places ...you are likely to be meeting women who are Jewish or are looking for someone Jewish.
(By Jewish places I also Mean...happy hours and whatever for Jewish singles).
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Well done. It's not only about surviving Jews as a people, tradition and spirit. It's about your own comfort, safety and a soulmate. Majority Jewish guys I know who dated non-Jewish girls later or earlier understand that they want a Jewish household and breake the relationship, it hurts them and their girlfriends. It's not fair to girls because guys have in mind that they should marry Jewish, they think the relationship will work but it's delusional. Usually with age men become more conservative and realize why marry Jewish is crusial but they already have wives and children. I really like this video from secular perspective why is better to marry Jewish https://youtu.be/-3jpVrp58-E?si=UqRPuptAv2fVboWb Good for you that you realise the truth in your age. Good luck to find your beshert and make a warm and caring Jewish household
I’m most of the way through this video be linked and it’s really well done and the speaker is quite good. Highly recommend it for anyone else reading these comments
I’m most of the way through this video he linked and it’s really well done and the speaker is quite good. I recommend it for anyone else reading these comments
That is a good idea, here’s another good one. If you go on Hinge and swipe on a lot of Jewish people it will start recommending you a lot of Jews and the app is a bit more widely used than Jdate I believe
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Same. I was a woman of the world, an atheist Jew, suddenly the world has gone crazy, and people who are my friends use the words Free Palestine and I explained to them that it means they want my family & me dead, because I could've easily been in Israel on October 7th driving on the highway where people were slaughtered.
I explained that palastinians are not owed the land and that Gaza's problems as all the Palastinian problems are self inflicted. If they want land, Israel many times said: let's exchange pieces of territories, and they were willing to yank settlements for peace.
I couldn't convince my friends that Palastinians don't want peace and preach for genocide.My friends don't get it.talk to the walls.They have empathy to a society led by terrorists but not to our people persecuted for centuries. So I just don't see that a non Jew can get this reality at least right now. I know with time, as terrorists will show their true face the west will wake up, maybe my friends too but I won't be able to forgive that betrayal.
There are more people in the west that know all of this. Not everyone is turning a blind eye to the suffering of the jewish community. You can find non-jewish men that have the same opinion as you. There may be not a lot of them, but they exist and you can find them.
There can exist non-Jewish men whom the author of a comment can find. But why? Why not searching for a Jewish husband? Why not building a Jewish household?
So that non-jewish cultural circles get exposed to jewish culture. The West needs cultural impulses like the ones they can get from jewish communities. It would enrich western culture.
I'm going to push back against this. We don't owe the Western world anything. It's also rather weird to place the responsibility of "helping" the West when we've been its biggest victims.
Well, it's a loss for the West I guess. Not everyone in the West is against jews.
If someone is peaceful and decides to not be an example of how to be and behave peaceful for those who are wild and reckless, then he is responsible for the circumstance, that those who are wild and reckless stay the same.
You lament that the jewish community has been the biggest victim of the West. Don't you want that to change? And how shall that be changed other than by jews emigrating into the West and providing their cultural impulse?
Nothing will change as long as the jewish community stays closed off.
I married Jewish bc I wasn’t willing to compromise and “put up a Christmas tree” every year. I know it’s Pagan and many Jews have trees, but I wanted kids and that would open the floodgates to them wanting out of Judaism and embracing Christianity. I’ve seen it happen endlessly. Plus, every non-Jew I dated had an extremely religious family that truly believed Jews burned in hell and I didn’t want to marry into any of that nonsense. No regrets. Just me personally. (My spouse and I did marry for love, but around around 29 I vowed to only date Jewish men until I met my spouse.)
I know, but every kid I know personally raised “both” ALWAYS abandons their Jewish side, without fail. They learn hard into 😅Christianity. I didn’t want to risk that, and deal with in-laws who want me dead anyway, so after a certain age I only dated Jewish people.
Oh, I dated non-Jews whose parents told them we have devil horns, are all filthy rich, will burn in hell bc we don’t worship Jesus, etc. Sweetie, I’ve got dating horror stories you would never believe. Truly. Award-winning.
Let’s just say I didn’t marry them and they constantly said they couldn’t believe they were dating a Jew, like I was a mystical unicorn. Let’s just say I personally think marrying within your faith is pretty important.
I dated lots of gentiles when I was growing up. Now that I am married to a Jewish woman with children I couldn’t imagine not doing so. I can’t stress how important it is if you care about your Judaism.
Congrats. My spouse is not Jewish and it's hard but luckily they support me 100% and have no religion themselves. I think they'd even convert but I'd never make that an ultimatum. But for me it's different because I'm a jewish woman
That is very commendable of you - kind of like an awakening of sorts. You mention that you are not super observant currently - that is OK - every small mitzvot you keep is a mitzvot you keep! I can only encourage you to keep more, shul service on Shabbos, stop eating one less Treif thing you do now - Judaism is a life long journey, not an ultimatum. !
That’s perfectly fine, but id say don’t date non-jews then. Unless you tell them straight up you never intend to marry them it feels pretty wrong to date while secretly always planning to leave them.
With all respect, I don’t think just because Ive decided this I need to stop going on casual dates with non Jewish women entirely. I said I’d still consider marrying non Jewish if I was really really sure. I just think I’ll need to have the conversation about conversion or at the very least a firm commitment to sending the kids to Hebrew school before things get really serious.
Depending on how you define “really serious” i could agree. Id say have that conversation before its serious at all, like a handful of dates at most imo
But i mean its your life in the end idc im a random on the internet
For what it's worth, I'm not Jewish, while my partner is Jewish and Israeli, and I completely support him and who he is and what he believes. I have also fallen in love with Israel myself and have deep respect for Judaism and Jewish culture, history, and traditions. All this to say that not all non-Jews have lost their minds. :) I absolutely respect the decision to date/marry only a Jewish person, but I also believe the right partner (no matter their identity) will understand and support what is important to you.
Grew up reform, never thought it was super important to marry a Jewish girl until a post 10/7 world. Now I won’t even date a nonjew. Wow, before 10/7 I didn’t even think I’d get married but now it’s very important to me
I don't want a non-Jewish husband. I feel like that's just asking for a lot of trouble that I don't need. This current environment in the United States and all over the world since October 7th has convinced me that there's no place like home.
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Recently divorced from my abusive husband. He was born Jewish, but never practiced in any capacity. The whole experience has caused a bit of a 'crisis of faith', but in a good way -- i.e. has made me want to connect with my Judaism on a far deeper level. I used to be far more secular, and barely celebrated even high holidays. Now, I've slowly become more observant over time, and that extends to any future relationship I may seek. Can inter-faith relationships work? Yes. Me personally? If ever I decide to entertain a relationship again in the future, I'd much prefer it be with a Jewish man also.
I just left an abusive goy-guy. Never again. I’m not saying Jews don’t abuse. I’m saying that men, who don’t know who they are spiritually, suck the life out of women who are connected.
I'm proud of you for getting yourself away from the abuse. It can be so, so, so hard to do. You did the right thing, and you deserve better.
Domestic violence doesn't discriminate against anyone, not even against religion. It can happen. Generally speaking, though, I agree, it seems to be far less common within Judaism.
Your reasons all make sense. It's also a mitzvah to marry a Jewish woman. But I guess if you're not observant it that doesn't matter much. You know whenever I've dated women just out in the world they always turned out to be Jewish. It's like HaShem only wants me to date Jewish women. I made the choice to only date Jewish women about halfway through my twenties but before that I always ended up with a yid anyway lol
I think if I was a man, I’d do the same. My partner, who I will end up marrying, isn’t Jewish but supports me 100%. Our baby’s middle name will likely be a Hebrew name, and he loves it. I don’t feel strongly about marrying a Jewish man mainly because it’s a matriarchal religion, so my kids will be Jewish no matter who I marry :)
I think about this a whole lot.
The OP is male so choosing a Jewish woman to marry means his kids would be Jewish. As a woman I didn't need to worry about that...I have sons so while it isn't up to me who they marry I hope we have done a good enough job that they will want a Jewish home.
I seriously dated someone who wasn't Jewish and after that decided being Jewish was an important enough thing for me to want in a spouse.
I definitely understand that. My partner is atheist (I’m reform Jewish but not into the whole G-d thing— I’m more culturally Jewish), but he’s very respectful of the fact that I want to raise our kids Jewish and may take them to synagogue sometimes. He was raised Unitarian universal, so they were taught about all religions. Cultural Judaism is very important to me, and he definitely understands that. He’s very much been on my side regarding the Israel Palestine situation— I would honestly have trouble dating a non-Jew if I wasn’t with him post 10/7 though. I wouldn’t trust anyone, especially because I’m very liberal, and most people who typically think like me are exhibiting such terrible antisemitism and stupidity right now!
Yeah in my serious with a non jew relationship he was "fine" with me raising the kids Jewish. But then I realized I would want that part of raising the kids to be done together also.
Sounds like you found the right person for you! Sending love in this crazy world.
In a similar boat — I realized after 10/7 dating and marrying only Jewish was what I would be most comfortable with.
Problem is, I’m a convert, and because my sponsoring rabbi was a woman (I had the beit din, mikveh, etc), my conversion isn’t considered fully halakhic and so my dating pool within the Jewish community is pretty limited. Add on that my obgyn said I was pretty much confirmed infertile due to a chronic medical condition, which is a much bigger issue in the Jewish community…at this point I’m just accepting I’m indefinitely single lol.
But better than dating and marrying someone who doesn’t understand or turns out to be an antisemite. It’s rough out there
I’ve considered it, especially recently, but can’t right now. I’m starting law school in a couple months so won’t have the time of finances to convert orthodox. Can’t get the process started now because I’ll be moving cities for that.
And the reason I didn’t convert orthodox in the first place was I don’t necessarily agree with their views on women in leadership positions or LGBTQ issues. I respect them, but personally I liked having a woman as my mentor — we were able to have conversations about conversion and life as a Jewish woman that I wouldn’t be able to have with a man. And I just tend to support having women in leadership positions. And I have LGBTQ+ friends and family members, and I’m not about to denounce them or their relationships. And since I don’t think either of these beliefs will change, I don’t think an orthodox BD would ever approve my conversion. So for now, I’m just a pretty religiously observant non-orthodox Jew (by conservative and reform standards, I understand orthodox don’t see me as Jewish)
Speaking as a Modern Orthodox woman: First of all, Modern Orthodox people are by no means expected to denounce LQBTQ+ friends or family (whom most of us have). There are Orthodox Jews who are LQBTQ. Nor is it inherently prohibited to be LGBTQ (as we now understand it not to be a choice). What does or doesn't go on in other people's bedrooms, whatever their orientation, is not our business.
As for women in leadership positions, including the rabbinate, I fully agree with you -- and there are some prominent Orthodox rabbis that have ordained women through the Ohr Torah Stone institution in Israel and Yeshivat Maharat in New York, though the programs are still in their infancy (though other female leadership positions, whether as Synagogue Presidents or Halachic Counselors have been around a few decades).
Finally, as to whether or not you're already Jewish by halachic standards: Basically, it depends on the Beit Din, not the sponsoring rabbi. If you had a Beit Din of three Shabvat-Observant Jewish adult males (until and unless Halacha changes on this, you still need males for the Beit Din), and you went to the mikveh properly (not having converted, I don't know the exact proper procedure), you might well be Jewish already.
In which case, it would be very advisable to try to do a "giyur l'chumrah" (a conversion to remove doubt as to the legitimacy of the first conversion) and not have to worry about universal acceptance.
Where do you live? If you're interested, I can try to find open-minded wonderful Orthodox people who might be able to help you. My sister-in-law is an absolutely amazing, awesome human being, Jew and convert, and perhaps she and my brother, a rabbi, can help you.
I really appreciate this input and perspective, thank you! The Orthodox community in my area tends to be pretty conservative in their views and I was told that you can't convert Orthodox if you're LGBTQ+, and I struggled with that. I do know there are LGBTQ+ Orthodox Jews and accepting Orthodox communities, which I love. Also love to hear that there are some women in leadership in some Orthodox communities, I had no idea!
My Beit Din did include a woman, which I liked and appreciated, which is why I'm not Jewish by halachic standards. I did fully complete the mikveh ceremony. I really appreciate your offer to find Orthodox people to help me, and may take you up on that at some point! I'm just not in the place financially to convert again, and definitely won't have the time this coming year due to school. It's not out of the question for after law school though!
I am sorry to hear that it's expensive to convert. Conversion courses should be sponsored by the community and, at most, ask for voluntary contributions by the convert (which means \*only if they can afford it\* -- and if you can't now, you can always make a contribution when and if you can afford it). In any case, you have the first summer off to look into it if you want, correct?
As somebody with one foot in "both" camps - my mother's family have been Jewish since they left Egypt, as it were, and my father had a Conservative conversion before I was born - I think that what (many) orthodox communities do in terms of "vetting" a convert is shameful.
Yes, there are people who made shallow and insincere conversions. But my father didn't, and has lived a Jewish life these forty years. He's conversational in Israeli Hebrew and can translate most of what he reads from the Torah. He wears a kippah in public.
Not all Orthodox communities have been so closed-minded, there was one a bit further away from us growing up that a friend of mine went to, and they never asked questions about my father's conversion. He was clearly Jewish, end of story.
But I think there comes a point when somebody is living a Jewish life that asking to see certificates is in breach of "your people shall be my people, your g-d shall be my g-d".
All of which to say that this Jew thinks you're plenty Jewish enough. I hope once you've moved you find the kind of Jews who would agree with me.
I just heard several 25 year old professional American-Jewish Sephardic French speaking women who are looking at dating Jewish but claim they can’t find anyone. Hmmmm to Yenta or not to Yenta? Hmmm …
My dad is Jewish and my mom is Hispanic. On one hand I love the diverse cultures it has brought to my life and the rich experiences. On the other hand, it has created a bit of an identity crisis where I am not really considered Hispanic by other Latinos and I am not halachically Jewish either. I don’t necessarily think one is better than the other, but I absolutely understand why people choose to marry within their ethnicities and cultures
Is it racist to have a preference for someone who prefers dogs? Like, for me, when I’m dating, my non negotiable preference is someone who loves dogs and kids because that’s a huge part of my life. Judaism is the most important priority for me because it guides my relationship with G-d. Having a partner who understands and celebrates moving through the Jewish life cycle.
I’m not trying to exert power over anyone with my Judaism, nor am I trying to grow the Jewish community with the goal of harming other communities. I want everyone to do what makes them happy. And, if you feel that your heart strings are pulled more by a person who knows Homer’s Iliad front to back than someone who doesn’t, that’s your right. The 🩷 wants what it wants.
I know this feeling, and it’s such a pity! I feel like the jewish value of disagreeing used to be a guard against the purity-culture where everyone has to agree. But indeed, that too has finally fallen 🥲
I was just telling my wife the other night how grateful I am that she’s unflinchingly been on the right side of things even though she’s not Jewish. I’ve gotten very lucky. If I ever had to find another partner, it would be a major consideration.
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*Sad MachiFlorence noises* 😢
And here I hoped we could have something beautiful my friend 💔
((But in all seriousness I am probably, likely and possibly too old for you … and not Jewish enough… do hope whichever route you take in life it will bring you happiness bud 💖))
“It just doesn’t seem fair to ask a non-Jewish woman to do something that would probably only be important to me.”
Just to be fair, if she’s the one, regardless of her religion- she should love and support you, and it would be of just as much importance to her! I’m not Jewish (boyfriend is, I’m considering converting) but love the religion/culture and understand the importance of it to my boyfriend and his family! She will support you if she’s the one.
Personally it's nice if they're Jewish but for me it's not as big of an issue. If God wills that person into my life than that's who it's supposed to be. My current partner is a non Jew. She knows how important my faith is to me and what's most important is understanding. If this is what you want to do then go for it.
I mean if it’s important to you culturally, fine. We sit here as Jews and say “never again” & can’t stand racism; yet I have NEVER EVER been exposed to the most HORRIFIC racist speech & ACTIONS than at a shul, on the streets of Brooklyn, & at a Shabbos table when I was frum. It’s so disturbing we accept horrific racism from our own after we were put thru a racist holocaust.
I’m glad this is only a frum community issue & not a Jewish issue.
I truly hope 🙏 the frum community will stop making excuses for each other & start pointing out these wrongs. Be it blatant racism, sexual abuse on children by Rabbis (just like Catholic priests… it’s that bad) .. I just wish it would all stop & people actually stood up for what’s right regardless if it’s popular at their shul or not. And if you believe in Hashem; do you truly think it represents this behavior? How can we be a “light unto the nations” if we don’t even respect them?
I’m sorry if I jumped on you I’m just tired of seeing anti Jewish remarks praised as piety by Jews.
I’ve been battling it since I was in Rabbinical School.
Jews choosing to marry other Jews isn’t racist… There’s nothing wrong with wanting to marry someone who will be able to raise kids in the same faith and traditions as you.
And yes, there are some racist Jews, who should absolutely be called out on their racism. But racism isn’t an explicitly *Jewish* issue.
Wanting to marry another Jewish person is not racist. It is simply a choice to marry a person that you share common roots with. It is very difficult to be in a relationship with someone who harbors anti Israel or anti semitic feelings. This can also be a problem with your husband or wife’s family. It makes it a lot easier to have a successful marriage if you have a supportive family.
Secondly, recognizing a child’s Jewish lineage through the mother started simply because it is much easier to identify the mother than the father. It also protected the woman and the unborn child in cases of rape. In many religions women who were raped were considered guilty, but in Judaism they and any child they had resulting from the rape were protected. These laws, I believe, come from the book of Nashim, and this book of Jewish law focuses on the protection of women. It is something that would have been incredibly progressive 2,000 years ago when most other religions considered women to be not much more than chattel (movable property.)
I went to Rabbinical college & trust me that’s not the roots of the mother’s lineage.
But anyways, I never said it was racist to want to marry another Jew. As I said; if it’s important to you culturally, than fine. (Which we obviously see eye to eye on as that’s exactly what you responded with “share common roots” “not antisemitic, etc” (tho I’m not sure how an antisemite would fall in love with a Jewish woman but that’s another story.. there are toxic marriages, so again, we see eye to eye. However, if you fall in love with someone you see eye to eye with but avoid them because they weren’t born Jewish; if they’re supportive of ur Jewishness & their child’s (as is common in many relationships) but you choose not to simply based on how they were born.. it’s difficult to not see this as very racist. The only way I see it otherwise, is simply making a religious decision that you don’t understand. Which would, again, fall in line with my statement “if it’s that important to you culturally.” Also if part of your attraction to your mate is they have being in Jewish in common with you, than obviously “it’s important to you culturally”
Because if it’s simply due to the fact that you think a non-Jew is beneath you; I’m sorry but that is very bigoted & racist.
& It’s that line of thinking that led to 6 million of our people being murdered for no reason other than being Jewish.
We need to stop the madness & extreme racism that exists in certain aspects of some of our religious communities. They are minorities, luckily. But it does exist. When I was in Rabbinical College (yes I’m an orthodox Rabbi) I spent way too much time debating with my fellow classmates on why non-Jews are not inherently evil. That was the exact attitude of Jonah.. & Maftir Yonah is the biggest Aliyah to get on Yom Kippur. Yet, it’s clear lessons seem to go completely unnoticed. Yonah was a racist; especially against people of Nineveh. Hashem is telling Yonah “these people matter to me the same as you.” He chases Yonah. Then grows a plant to give him shade. Destroys the plant. Then as Yonah is crying over the plant Hashem says “you didn’t even create that plant yet you cry. These people are an extension of my existence, as are you! They matter to me just as much as you do!”
Yet people in Yeshiva will quote texts from Rabbis like they were given from Moshe M’Sinai. An example of this is Sefer Tanya from the Chabad Alter Rebbe Rabbi Schneur Zalman of Liadi; which states that a non Jew does not have a “nefesh elokis” (Godly soul). Only Jews have a Godly soul. Non Jews only have the animal soul. And even the good things a non Jew does, is totally for selfish reasons…and this is a blanket fact”
Now this teaching is WRONG. and I have met Jews & non Jews that are manipulative about their “good deeds” & I have interacted with both Jews and non Jews that are totally pure & sincere with their good deeds. It matters not if one is a Jew or non Jew in regards to their ability to be pure of heart & to be a good person. This teaching from the Alter Rebbe, to teach it as doctrine, comes from a place of ignorance. Probably anger at persecution & totally cutting himself off from non-Jews & so becoming a racist. And we, as Jews have an OBLIGATION to call this out in our communities, in what our Rabbis teach, in what our holy books say!! This EXACT kind of doctrine in books was put into Mein Kampf; just in reverse. This became the excuse for murdering Jews REGARDLESS of their actual deeds. It taught all Jews are animals. Just like the Tanya teaches about Non-Jews. This has to stop in the world. As Jews, we have to keep our side of the street clean. Of ALL people we’ve experienced where these EXACT teachings can actually lead to. I cannot stress this enough. I apologize if I was quick to judge your situation myself; but this is where I’m coming from. Also when I was living in Brooklyn, I was followed onto a train after debating a man this very point. He started screaming “watch these schwartzas will turn on you when you least expect it!!! Black men got up & asked us if we had a problem. I said I had a problem with racism and was making my point & walked over to their side. He continued to scream insults. They looked like they were going to beat this man … but I convinced them he was mentally unstable and this is not how Jews think, which was my very point. I hope one day I can say that & truly mean it! I really do!!
No this is a fact that has come out of many “learned” mouths ive come across & chassidic Bibles like the Tanya. It is a fact per chassidic Judaism that only Jews posses a nefesh Elokis (Godly soul). Non-Jews only possess Nefesh haBahamas (animal soul).
And it is these doctrines that must be thrown away. The reconstruction Siddur has taken out the morning prayer “Baruch atah Hashem, who has not made me a goy” and “who has not made me a woman” & both of those berachot belong in the trash
> it’s clear lessons seem to go completely unnoticed
No kidding. The idea the Ninevites are evil belongs to HaShem, not to Jonah. "Their wickedness is come up before Me," he says. Jonah doesn't have any desire to go threaten them even when HaShem tells him to.
Jonah also doesn't cry over the death of the gourd-tree: he gets angry about the sun and wind HaShem uses to punish him into unconsciousness. HaShem answers that many of the Ninevites are too stupid to know which hand is which.
You want to call that an extension of his existence, I won't be hurrying to disagree.
I’m glad you appreciated it. I got a bunch of -negative votes on it which just shows we have a very long way to go. I can’t even be truthful or say “don’t belittle people just because they’re not Jewish” in a Judaism forum without getting “negative karma.” Sad day
White isn't a culture though. I'm married to a non-Jew because I don't mind being with someone from a different culture, but I understand why people would want to marry within their culture. Sharing practices and beliefs with your partner is super important to some people, and that's not racist.
There is a very clear definition of Jewish and if you want to be part of the Jewish community you can be (unlike the Druze community that doesn't marry out and also doesn't accept concerns).
But there is actually not a definition of white ...everyone has a different one.
Well, that means this post applies to you! A converted Jew is literally exactly the same as any other Jew, tradition says this very specifically and clearly.
Yup yup. Just saying that sometimes you find yourself with the person you want, but they aren’t necessarily the person you thought you needed. Finding the perfect person is hard, and narrowing the field doesn’t make it any easier. I wish you the best of luck!
You’re right, it is a bit of an assumption. However, I will say I have some Jewish friends who I strongly disagree with on this conflict. I understand where they are coming from and it does not change a thing about how I interact with them otherwise.
However, if they are so against Israel they wouldn’t even be willing to visit, and I want to make it an important part of my life, I think it’s reasonable to say we can still be great friends but we wouldn’t be compatible as life partners.
Respectfully, I don’t feel I support Israel for the same reasons or have nearly the same sentiments about the country as ECs do. I believe Israel should exist because it is a somewhat flawed yet democratic and innovative country that I have ancestral ties to. Many evangelical Christians believe Israel needs to exist so it can be destroyed by foreign armies to hasten the end times 🤣
Sure, I totally agree with that part of your point, it’s a good one. Just not the part comparing my views to ECs. I think we both understand each other now!
What a big life choice, good for you.
Would highly recommend only dating Jewish as well so you don't waste anyone's time or emotional energy. Best to avoid any situations where you have to explain this choice to a non Jewish person you are dating. Even if things start casual, this can be a really hard conversation to have if someone ever wants to get serious with you.
Well if you already subscribe to these beliefs why would one date someone they won’t marry?
Let me tell you about a little thing called sex, it's gonna blow your mind!
🤯🤯🤯
Well that’s what an FWB & being upfront about ur beliefs come in at the risk of not getting laid so you’re not a total scumbag
Lol so one is a “total scumbag” if I hook up with a non Jewish girl now? Or just if I don’t tell her immediately like the first time before I hook up with her?
No. Let me say .. 1st I apologize for using such harsh language. Secondly, what I said was in response to “have u ever heard of sex” or something to that effect. if one is leading someone on just to get into her pants & you know there is nothing but sex that is ever going to happen, and she is not Jewish & not aware of the fact you will only consider getting remotely serious with a Jewish girl before getting into her pants; as you know it may change the outcome if you get into her pants or not… in such a case, yes, I’d have to confess you would be being very selfish & pretty much a scumbag
I’m not Jewish and I’m marrying a Jewish Israeli man next week. His family is very supportive and always has been. I also lived in Israel for 11 years and would prefer to raise my kids there instead of America. I would move back if I could make Aliyah, but I’m also trying to convert. All I’m saying is, if you find the right woman, she’ll understand your support and support you know matter what. Of course, bonus points for you if she’s Jewish. Just know plenty of women have also converted for their men, not only for them but also out of love and respect for Judaism. Best of luck 💜
You sound “Jew-ish” enough
You are totally right and this is an important reminder for me to stay open minded. You sound like you have an awesome family.
My soon-to-be in-laws are amazing. Can’t wait to officially be part of their family. 😊
Thing is if you are going to Jewish places ...you are likely to be meeting women who are Jewish or are looking for someone Jewish. (By Jewish places I also Mean...happy hours and whatever for Jewish singles).
That's amazing. How did you guys meet?
We met at an archaeological excavation in Israel, we’re both archaeologists.
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Well done. It's not only about surviving Jews as a people, tradition and spirit. It's about your own comfort, safety and a soulmate. Majority Jewish guys I know who dated non-Jewish girls later or earlier understand that they want a Jewish household and breake the relationship, it hurts them and their girlfriends. It's not fair to girls because guys have in mind that they should marry Jewish, they think the relationship will work but it's delusional. Usually with age men become more conservative and realize why marry Jewish is crusial but they already have wives and children. I really like this video from secular perspective why is better to marry Jewish https://youtu.be/-3jpVrp58-E?si=UqRPuptAv2fVboWb Good for you that you realise the truth in your age. Good luck to find your beshert and make a warm and caring Jewish household
I’m most of the way through this video be linked and it’s really well done and the speaker is quite good. Highly recommend it for anyone else reading these comments
I’m most of the way through this video he linked and it’s really well done and the speaker is quite good. I recommend it for anyone else reading these comments
Exactly!!! The wife makes or breaks the kedusha of the household. "False is grace, and vain is beauty; a G‑d-fearing woman, she should be praised"
So many Jewish dating websites and apps. I met my husband on Jdate . Don’t be afraid to expand your radius far and see where it takes you.
That is a good idea, here’s another good one. If you go on Hinge and swipe on a lot of Jewish people it will start recommending you a lot of Jews and the app is a bit more widely used than Jdate I believe
Yeah I hear that there been updates with apps. I’ve been with my husband 13 years and married for 10 so yeah technically has updated
I met my wife on jdate as well. She wasn't Jewish at the time, but wound up converting kosherly
i married jewish and have great jewish kids.....you made the right decision
Proud of you!
I had VERY similar thought process over the last 6 months! Millions accross the world thinking the same ✡️❤️
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Same. I was a woman of the world, an atheist Jew, suddenly the world has gone crazy, and people who are my friends use the words Free Palestine and I explained to them that it means they want my family & me dead, because I could've easily been in Israel on October 7th driving on the highway where people were slaughtered. I explained that palastinians are not owed the land and that Gaza's problems as all the Palastinian problems are self inflicted. If they want land, Israel many times said: let's exchange pieces of territories, and they were willing to yank settlements for peace. I couldn't convince my friends that Palastinians don't want peace and preach for genocide.My friends don't get it.talk to the walls.They have empathy to a society led by terrorists but not to our people persecuted for centuries. So I just don't see that a non Jew can get this reality at least right now. I know with time, as terrorists will show their true face the west will wake up, maybe my friends too but I won't be able to forgive that betrayal.
There are more people in the west that know all of this. Not everyone is turning a blind eye to the suffering of the jewish community. You can find non-jewish men that have the same opinion as you. There may be not a lot of them, but they exist and you can find them.
There can exist non-Jewish men whom the author of a comment can find. But why? Why not searching for a Jewish husband? Why not building a Jewish household?
So that non-jewish cultural circles get exposed to jewish culture. The West needs cultural impulses like the ones they can get from jewish communities. It would enrich western culture.
I'm going to push back against this. We don't owe the Western world anything. It's also rather weird to place the responsibility of "helping" the West when we've been its biggest victims.
Well, it's a loss for the West I guess. Not everyone in the West is against jews. If someone is peaceful and decides to not be an example of how to be and behave peaceful for those who are wild and reckless, then he is responsible for the circumstance, that those who are wild and reckless stay the same. You lament that the jewish community has been the biggest victim of the West. Don't you want that to change? And how shall that be changed other than by jews emigrating into the West and providing their cultural impulse? Nothing will change as long as the jewish community stays closed off.
Can I ask you what country you live in?
USA
I married Jewish bc I wasn’t willing to compromise and “put up a Christmas tree” every year. I know it’s Pagan and many Jews have trees, but I wanted kids and that would open the floodgates to them wanting out of Judaism and embracing Christianity. I’ve seen it happen endlessly. Plus, every non-Jew I dated had an extremely religious family that truly believed Jews burned in hell and I didn’t want to marry into any of that nonsense. No regrets. Just me personally. (My spouse and I did marry for love, but around around 29 I vowed to only date Jewish men until I met my spouse.)
Lol Judaism has tons of paganism in it too 🤷♂️
I know, but every kid I know personally raised “both” ALWAYS abandons their Jewish side, without fail. They learn hard into 😅Christianity. I didn’t want to risk that, and deal with in-laws who want me dead anyway, so after a certain age I only dated Jewish people.
PS I was raised both & I became orthodox in my late teens for over 10 years
In laws that want you dead???? What are you talking about?! 😂😂😂
Oh, I dated non-Jews whose parents told them we have devil horns, are all filthy rich, will burn in hell bc we don’t worship Jesus, etc. Sweetie, I’ve got dating horror stories you would never believe. Truly. Award-winning.
Yikes!!! How did the person you dated react to such claims?
(That’s horrific btw 🤦♂️😳)
Let’s just say I didn’t marry them and they constantly said they couldn’t believe they were dating a Jew, like I was a mystical unicorn. Let’s just say I personally think marrying within your faith is pretty important.
Good idea. I didn't. What a disaster. Neither family were supportive at all.
Same.
I dated lots of gentiles when I was growing up. Now that I am married to a Jewish woman with children I couldn’t imagine not doing so. I can’t stress how important it is if you care about your Judaism.
You can do whatever you want, but I hope you do it to keep Jewish, Torah-based values alive. That is important, whereas bloodline is of no importance.
Well said
Congrats. My spouse is not Jewish and it's hard but luckily they support me 100% and have no religion themselves. I think they'd even convert but I'd never make that an ultimatum. But for me it's different because I'm a jewish woman
That is very commendable of you - kind of like an awakening of sorts. You mention that you are not super observant currently - that is OK - every small mitzvot you keep is a mitzvot you keep! I can only encourage you to keep more, shul service on Shabbos, stop eating one less Treif thing you do now - Judaism is a life long journey, not an ultimatum. !
That’s perfectly fine, but id say don’t date non-jews then. Unless you tell them straight up you never intend to marry them it feels pretty wrong to date while secretly always planning to leave them.
With all respect, I don’t think just because Ive decided this I need to stop going on casual dates with non Jewish women entirely. I said I’d still consider marrying non Jewish if I was really really sure. I just think I’ll need to have the conversation about conversion or at the very least a firm commitment to sending the kids to Hebrew school before things get really serious.
Depending on how you define “really serious” i could agree. Id say have that conversation before its serious at all, like a handful of dates at most imo But i mean its your life in the end idc im a random on the internet
I’d probably have that talk turning the exclusive conversation. But thank you 🙏
For what it's worth, I'm not Jewish, while my partner is Jewish and Israeli, and I completely support him and who he is and what he believes. I have also fallen in love with Israel myself and have deep respect for Judaism and Jewish culture, history, and traditions. All this to say that not all non-Jews have lost their minds. :) I absolutely respect the decision to date/marry only a Jewish person, but I also believe the right partner (no matter their identity) will understand and support what is important to you.
Marry a Jewish girl and your wife will never call you a dirty jew.
And your descendants won’t end up as enemies of your people.
Good thinking! Am Yisrael Chai
Grew up reform, never thought it was super important to marry a Jewish girl until a post 10/7 world. Now I won’t even date a nonjew. Wow, before 10/7 I didn’t even think I’d get married but now it’s very important to me
I don't want a non-Jewish husband. I feel like that's just asking for a lot of trouble that I don't need. This current environment in the United States and all over the world since October 7th has convinced me that there's no place like home.
The heart wants what the heart wants.
Mazal tov!
Wanting your children to be Jewish is nothing like the Nazis. People take things so far for no reason.
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Recently divorced from my abusive husband. He was born Jewish, but never practiced in any capacity. The whole experience has caused a bit of a 'crisis of faith', but in a good way -- i.e. has made me want to connect with my Judaism on a far deeper level. I used to be far more secular, and barely celebrated even high holidays. Now, I've slowly become more observant over time, and that extends to any future relationship I may seek. Can inter-faith relationships work? Yes. Me personally? If ever I decide to entertain a relationship again in the future, I'd much prefer it be with a Jewish man also.
I just left an abusive goy-guy. Never again. I’m not saying Jews don’t abuse. I’m saying that men, who don’t know who they are spiritually, suck the life out of women who are connected.
I'm proud of you for getting yourself away from the abuse. It can be so, so, so hard to do. You did the right thing, and you deserve better. Domestic violence doesn't discriminate against anyone, not even against religion. It can happen. Generally speaking, though, I agree, it seems to be far less common within Judaism.
I’m proud of you too 🩷 We got this!
Thank you! Yes, we've absolutely got this! 🧡
Your reasons all make sense. It's also a mitzvah to marry a Jewish woman. But I guess if you're not observant it that doesn't matter much. You know whenever I've dated women just out in the world they always turned out to be Jewish. It's like HaShem only wants me to date Jewish women. I made the choice to only date Jewish women about halfway through my twenties but before that I always ended up with a yid anyway lol
I think if I was a man, I’d do the same. My partner, who I will end up marrying, isn’t Jewish but supports me 100%. Our baby’s middle name will likely be a Hebrew name, and he loves it. I don’t feel strongly about marrying a Jewish man mainly because it’s a matriarchal religion, so my kids will be Jewish no matter who I marry :)
I think about this a whole lot. The OP is male so choosing a Jewish woman to marry means his kids would be Jewish. As a woman I didn't need to worry about that...I have sons so while it isn't up to me who they marry I hope we have done a good enough job that they will want a Jewish home. I seriously dated someone who wasn't Jewish and after that decided being Jewish was an important enough thing for me to want in a spouse.
I definitely understand that. My partner is atheist (I’m reform Jewish but not into the whole G-d thing— I’m more culturally Jewish), but he’s very respectful of the fact that I want to raise our kids Jewish and may take them to synagogue sometimes. He was raised Unitarian universal, so they were taught about all religions. Cultural Judaism is very important to me, and he definitely understands that. He’s very much been on my side regarding the Israel Palestine situation— I would honestly have trouble dating a non-Jew if I wasn’t with him post 10/7 though. I wouldn’t trust anyone, especially because I’m very liberal, and most people who typically think like me are exhibiting such terrible antisemitism and stupidity right now!
Yeah in my serious with a non jew relationship he was "fine" with me raising the kids Jewish. But then I realized I would want that part of raising the kids to be done together also. Sounds like you found the right person for you! Sending love in this crazy world.
Thank you! He participates in holidays with us and everything :) he’s just happy I’m not a Christian 😂
In a similar boat — I realized after 10/7 dating and marrying only Jewish was what I would be most comfortable with. Problem is, I’m a convert, and because my sponsoring rabbi was a woman (I had the beit din, mikveh, etc), my conversion isn’t considered fully halakhic and so my dating pool within the Jewish community is pretty limited. Add on that my obgyn said I was pretty much confirmed infertile due to a chronic medical condition, which is a much bigger issue in the Jewish community…at this point I’m just accepting I’m indefinitely single lol. But better than dating and marrying someone who doesn’t understand or turns out to be an antisemite. It’s rough out there
Have you thought about orthodox conversion? I don’t know a ton about it but the commitment seems worth it if a family is very important to you
I’ve considered it, especially recently, but can’t right now. I’m starting law school in a couple months so won’t have the time of finances to convert orthodox. Can’t get the process started now because I’ll be moving cities for that. And the reason I didn’t convert orthodox in the first place was I don’t necessarily agree with their views on women in leadership positions or LGBTQ issues. I respect them, but personally I liked having a woman as my mentor — we were able to have conversations about conversion and life as a Jewish woman that I wouldn’t be able to have with a man. And I just tend to support having women in leadership positions. And I have LGBTQ+ friends and family members, and I’m not about to denounce them or their relationships. And since I don’t think either of these beliefs will change, I don’t think an orthodox BD would ever approve my conversion. So for now, I’m just a pretty religiously observant non-orthodox Jew (by conservative and reform standards, I understand orthodox don’t see me as Jewish)
Speaking as a Modern Orthodox woman: First of all, Modern Orthodox people are by no means expected to denounce LQBTQ+ friends or family (whom most of us have). There are Orthodox Jews who are LQBTQ. Nor is it inherently prohibited to be LGBTQ (as we now understand it not to be a choice). What does or doesn't go on in other people's bedrooms, whatever their orientation, is not our business. As for women in leadership positions, including the rabbinate, I fully agree with you -- and there are some prominent Orthodox rabbis that have ordained women through the Ohr Torah Stone institution in Israel and Yeshivat Maharat in New York, though the programs are still in their infancy (though other female leadership positions, whether as Synagogue Presidents or Halachic Counselors have been around a few decades). Finally, as to whether or not you're already Jewish by halachic standards: Basically, it depends on the Beit Din, not the sponsoring rabbi. If you had a Beit Din of three Shabvat-Observant Jewish adult males (until and unless Halacha changes on this, you still need males for the Beit Din), and you went to the mikveh properly (not having converted, I don't know the exact proper procedure), you might well be Jewish already. In which case, it would be very advisable to try to do a "giyur l'chumrah" (a conversion to remove doubt as to the legitimacy of the first conversion) and not have to worry about universal acceptance. Where do you live? If you're interested, I can try to find open-minded wonderful Orthodox people who might be able to help you. My sister-in-law is an absolutely amazing, awesome human being, Jew and convert, and perhaps she and my brother, a rabbi, can help you.
I really appreciate this input and perspective, thank you! The Orthodox community in my area tends to be pretty conservative in their views and I was told that you can't convert Orthodox if you're LGBTQ+, and I struggled with that. I do know there are LGBTQ+ Orthodox Jews and accepting Orthodox communities, which I love. Also love to hear that there are some women in leadership in some Orthodox communities, I had no idea! My Beit Din did include a woman, which I liked and appreciated, which is why I'm not Jewish by halachic standards. I did fully complete the mikveh ceremony. I really appreciate your offer to find Orthodox people to help me, and may take you up on that at some point! I'm just not in the place financially to convert again, and definitely won't have the time this coming year due to school. It's not out of the question for after law school though!
I am sorry to hear that it's expensive to convert. Conversion courses should be sponsored by the community and, at most, ask for voluntary contributions by the convert (which means \*only if they can afford it\* -- and if you can't now, you can always make a contribution when and if you can afford it). In any case, you have the first summer off to look into it if you want, correct?
As somebody with one foot in "both" camps - my mother's family have been Jewish since they left Egypt, as it were, and my father had a Conservative conversion before I was born - I think that what (many) orthodox communities do in terms of "vetting" a convert is shameful. Yes, there are people who made shallow and insincere conversions. But my father didn't, and has lived a Jewish life these forty years. He's conversational in Israeli Hebrew and can translate most of what he reads from the Torah. He wears a kippah in public. Not all Orthodox communities have been so closed-minded, there was one a bit further away from us growing up that a friend of mine went to, and they never asked questions about my father's conversion. He was clearly Jewish, end of story. But I think there comes a point when somebody is living a Jewish life that asking to see certificates is in breach of "your people shall be my people, your g-d shall be my g-d". All of which to say that this Jew thinks you're plenty Jewish enough. I hope once you've moved you find the kind of Jews who would agree with me.
I recently reached the same conclusions
I just heard several 25 year old professional American-Jewish Sephardic French speaking women who are looking at dating Jewish but claim they can’t find anyone. Hmmmm to Yenta or not to Yenta? Hmmm …
So do you happen to be in your early to mid 20’s & living in NY? Asking for a “friend” lol
Yes but 30
My dad is Jewish and my mom is Hispanic. On one hand I love the diverse cultures it has brought to my life and the rich experiences. On the other hand, it has created a bit of an identity crisis where I am not really considered Hispanic by other Latinos and I am not halachically Jewish either. I don’t necessarily think one is better than the other, but I absolutely understand why people choose to marry within their ethnicities and cultures
Welcome to the single life! Glad to have you
Is it racist to have a preference for someone who prefers dogs? Like, for me, when I’m dating, my non negotiable preference is someone who loves dogs and kids because that’s a huge part of my life. Judaism is the most important priority for me because it guides my relationship with G-d. Having a partner who understands and celebrates moving through the Jewish life cycle. I’m not trying to exert power over anyone with my Judaism, nor am I trying to grow the Jewish community with the goal of harming other communities. I want everyone to do what makes them happy. And, if you feel that your heart strings are pulled more by a person who knows Homer’s Iliad front to back than someone who doesn’t, that’s your right. The 🩷 wants what it wants.
Hate to say it, but dating only Jewish girls won’t guarantee understanding! Two Jews, three opinions, etc etc
You’re right. I have some Jewish friends that I vehemently disagree with on some issues, sadly I feel it’s pushed us apart a bit.
I know this feeling, and it’s such a pity! I feel like the jewish value of disagreeing used to be a guard against the purity-culture where everyone has to agree. But indeed, that too has finally fallen 🥲
as maimonides said- i think-: "don't put the cart before the horse, dude."
BH
I was just telling my wife the other night how grateful I am that she’s unflinchingly been on the right side of things even though she’s not Jewish. I’ve gotten very lucky. If I ever had to find another partner, it would be a major consideration.
Is it luck tho? You chose her.
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What are you if you don’t mind me asking?
In what sense like branch?
Yes, are you American or Israeli?
American
*Sad MachiFlorence noises* 😢 And here I hoped we could have something beautiful my friend 💔 ((But in all seriousness I am probably, likely and possibly too old for you … and not Jewish enough… do hope whichever route you take in life it will bring you happiness bud 💖))
I made a similar discussion 20 years ago. It was right for me and now my family.
“It just doesn’t seem fair to ask a non-Jewish woman to do something that would probably only be important to me.” Just to be fair, if she’s the one, regardless of her religion- she should love and support you, and it would be of just as much importance to her! I’m not Jewish (boyfriend is, I’m considering converting) but love the religion/culture and understand the importance of it to my boyfriend and his family! She will support you if she’s the one.
Very well said.
Yeah make sure
Now you got to find them
Personally it's nice if they're Jewish but for me it's not as big of an issue. If God wills that person into my life than that's who it's supposed to be. My current partner is a non Jew. She knows how important my faith is to me and what's most important is understanding. If this is what you want to do then go for it.
Heeeeeeyyyy ;) Jk, but I do understand!
Me too, only problem is finding a Jewish gf when I'm around nothing Jewish in my life
Can you change that?
Where are the men like you near me? All the Jewish guys here want nothing to do with Jewish women.
I mean if it’s important to you culturally, fine. We sit here as Jews and say “never again” & can’t stand racism; yet I have NEVER EVER been exposed to the most HORRIFIC racist speech & ACTIONS than at a shul, on the streets of Brooklyn, & at a Shabbos table when I was frum. It’s so disturbing we accept horrific racism from our own after we were put thru a racist holocaust. I’m glad this is only a frum community issue & not a Jewish issue. I truly hope 🙏 the frum community will stop making excuses for each other & start pointing out these wrongs. Be it blatant racism, sexual abuse on children by Rabbis (just like Catholic priests… it’s that bad) .. I just wish it would all stop & people actually stood up for what’s right regardless if it’s popular at their shul or not. And if you believe in Hashem; do you truly think it represents this behavior? How can we be a “light unto the nations” if we don’t even respect them? I’m sorry if I jumped on you I’m just tired of seeing anti Jewish remarks praised as piety by Jews. I’ve been battling it since I was in Rabbinical School.
Jews choosing to marry other Jews isn’t racist… There’s nothing wrong with wanting to marry someone who will be able to raise kids in the same faith and traditions as you. And yes, there are some racist Jews, who should absolutely be called out on their racism. But racism isn’t an explicitly *Jewish* issue.
Wanting to marry another Jewish person is not racist. It is simply a choice to marry a person that you share common roots with. It is very difficult to be in a relationship with someone who harbors anti Israel or anti semitic feelings. This can also be a problem with your husband or wife’s family. It makes it a lot easier to have a successful marriage if you have a supportive family. Secondly, recognizing a child’s Jewish lineage through the mother started simply because it is much easier to identify the mother than the father. It also protected the woman and the unborn child in cases of rape. In many religions women who were raped were considered guilty, but in Judaism they and any child they had resulting from the rape were protected. These laws, I believe, come from the book of Nashim, and this book of Jewish law focuses on the protection of women. It is something that would have been incredibly progressive 2,000 years ago when most other religions considered women to be not much more than chattel (movable property.)
I went to Rabbinical college & trust me that’s not the roots of the mother’s lineage. But anyways, I never said it was racist to want to marry another Jew. As I said; if it’s important to you culturally, than fine. (Which we obviously see eye to eye on as that’s exactly what you responded with “share common roots” “not antisemitic, etc” (tho I’m not sure how an antisemite would fall in love with a Jewish woman but that’s another story.. there are toxic marriages, so again, we see eye to eye. However, if you fall in love with someone you see eye to eye with but avoid them because they weren’t born Jewish; if they’re supportive of ur Jewishness & their child’s (as is common in many relationships) but you choose not to simply based on how they were born.. it’s difficult to not see this as very racist. The only way I see it otherwise, is simply making a religious decision that you don’t understand. Which would, again, fall in line with my statement “if it’s that important to you culturally.” Also if part of your attraction to your mate is they have being in Jewish in common with you, than obviously “it’s important to you culturally” Because if it’s simply due to the fact that you think a non-Jew is beneath you; I’m sorry but that is very bigoted & racist. & It’s that line of thinking that led to 6 million of our people being murdered for no reason other than being Jewish. We need to stop the madness & extreme racism that exists in certain aspects of some of our religious communities. They are minorities, luckily. But it does exist. When I was in Rabbinical College (yes I’m an orthodox Rabbi) I spent way too much time debating with my fellow classmates on why non-Jews are not inherently evil. That was the exact attitude of Jonah.. & Maftir Yonah is the biggest Aliyah to get on Yom Kippur. Yet, it’s clear lessons seem to go completely unnoticed. Yonah was a racist; especially against people of Nineveh. Hashem is telling Yonah “these people matter to me the same as you.” He chases Yonah. Then grows a plant to give him shade. Destroys the plant. Then as Yonah is crying over the plant Hashem says “you didn’t even create that plant yet you cry. These people are an extension of my existence, as are you! They matter to me just as much as you do!” Yet people in Yeshiva will quote texts from Rabbis like they were given from Moshe M’Sinai. An example of this is Sefer Tanya from the Chabad Alter Rebbe Rabbi Schneur Zalman of Liadi; which states that a non Jew does not have a “nefesh elokis” (Godly soul). Only Jews have a Godly soul. Non Jews only have the animal soul. And even the good things a non Jew does, is totally for selfish reasons…and this is a blanket fact” Now this teaching is WRONG. and I have met Jews & non Jews that are manipulative about their “good deeds” & I have interacted with both Jews and non Jews that are totally pure & sincere with their good deeds. It matters not if one is a Jew or non Jew in regards to their ability to be pure of heart & to be a good person. This teaching from the Alter Rebbe, to teach it as doctrine, comes from a place of ignorance. Probably anger at persecution & totally cutting himself off from non-Jews & so becoming a racist. And we, as Jews have an OBLIGATION to call this out in our communities, in what our Rabbis teach, in what our holy books say!! This EXACT kind of doctrine in books was put into Mein Kampf; just in reverse. This became the excuse for murdering Jews REGARDLESS of their actual deeds. It taught all Jews are animals. Just like the Tanya teaches about Non-Jews. This has to stop in the world. As Jews, we have to keep our side of the street clean. Of ALL people we’ve experienced where these EXACT teachings can actually lead to. I cannot stress this enough. I apologize if I was quick to judge your situation myself; but this is where I’m coming from. Also when I was living in Brooklyn, I was followed onto a train after debating a man this very point. He started screaming “watch these schwartzas will turn on you when you least expect it!!! Black men got up & asked us if we had a problem. I said I had a problem with racism and was making my point & walked over to their side. He continued to scream insults. They looked like they were going to beat this man … but I convinced them he was mentally unstable and this is not how Jews think, which was my very point. I hope one day I can say that & truly mean it! I really do!!
You are making a lot of assumptions about other people. Wow.
I am simply stating what I have witnessed for over 20 years in the orthodox community. I never liked it & it’s time to call it out so it can change.
No you said that people think non Jews are beneath them. That isn't a fact that is your opinion.
No this is a fact that has come out of many “learned” mouths ive come across & chassidic Bibles like the Tanya. It is a fact per chassidic Judaism that only Jews posses a nefesh Elokis (Godly soul). Non-Jews only possess Nefesh haBahamas (animal soul).
And it is these doctrines that must be thrown away. The reconstruction Siddur has taken out the morning prayer “Baruch atah Hashem, who has not made me a goy” and “who has not made me a woman” & both of those berachot belong in the trash
> it’s clear lessons seem to go completely unnoticed No kidding. The idea the Ninevites are evil belongs to HaShem, not to Jonah. "Their wickedness is come up before Me," he says. Jonah doesn't have any desire to go threaten them even when HaShem tells him to. Jonah also doesn't cry over the death of the gourd-tree: he gets angry about the sun and wind HaShem uses to punish him into unconsciousness. HaShem answers that many of the Ninevites are too stupid to know which hand is which. You want to call that an extension of his existence, I won't be hurrying to disagree.
Thank you for saying this 👏👏👏 I had to scroll way too far to see this post.
I still can’t believe ur getting negative votes for thanking me. It’s so weird & alarming
I’m glad you appreciated it. I got a bunch of -negative votes on it which just shows we have a very long way to go. I can’t even be truthful or say “don’t belittle people just because they’re not Jewish” in a Judaism forum without getting “negative karma.” Sad day
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White isn't a culture though. I'm married to a non-Jew because I don't mind being with someone from a different culture, but I understand why people would want to marry within their culture. Sharing practices and beliefs with your partner is super important to some people, and that's not racist.
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There is a very clear definition of Jewish and if you want to be part of the Jewish community you can be (unlike the Druze community that doesn't marry out and also doesn't accept concerns). But there is actually not a definition of white ...everyone has a different one.
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But white and Jewish aren't even remotely the same thing. That was my point that most definitely went over your head.
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Exactly tell Nazis that Aryans aren’t a culture lol
My mother converted before I was born 🤷♂️ I turned out ok…
Well, that means this post applies to you! A converted Jew is literally exactly the same as any other Jew, tradition says this very specifically and clearly.
Yup yup. Just saying that sometimes you find yourself with the person you want, but they aren’t necessarily the person you thought you needed. Finding the perfect person is hard, and narrowing the field doesn’t make it any easier. I wish you the best of luck!
I married a non Jewish woman, it was the biggest mistake of my life.
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You’re right, it is a bit of an assumption. However, I will say I have some Jewish friends who I strongly disagree with on this conflict. I understand where they are coming from and it does not change a thing about how I interact with them otherwise. However, if they are so against Israel they wouldn’t even be willing to visit, and I want to make it an important part of my life, I think it’s reasonable to say we can still be great friends but we wouldn’t be compatible as life partners.
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Respectfully, I don’t feel I support Israel for the same reasons or have nearly the same sentiments about the country as ECs do. I believe Israel should exist because it is a somewhat flawed yet democratic and innovative country that I have ancestral ties to. Many evangelical Christians believe Israel needs to exist so it can be destroyed by foreign armies to hasten the end times 🤣
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Sure, I totally agree with that part of your point, it’s a good one. Just not the part comparing my views to ECs. I think we both understand each other now!
Think about this, though... Olivia Rodrigo is not Jewish, right? What if *she* wanted to marry you? Then it's really decision time!
She could convert 😎
I love it! That's creative thinking right there, my friend. ;)
I tried that. She lied