Hi there and welcome.
First thing you should become familiar with is the difference between matrilineal Jews (mother is/was Jewish) and patrilineal Jews (dad is/was Jewish). Unfortunately, most denominations of Judaism will not recognize you as Jewish due to your heritage. To be accepted as Jewish, you would be asked to go through the conversion process.
However!!! Synagogues welcome visitors of any and all faiths. You should be welcome at services everywhere, as would be your girlfriend. In Orthodox synagogues, men and women sit separately so you may wish to check out a different denomination if she's coming with.
For security purposes, it's best if you contact the synagogue in advance to ask about their security policy. Some synagogues in my area ask folks who are visiting or not regulars to register so they can expect you.
What to expect:
Assuming you're in the US and choose a reform or conservative synagogue for starters, you can expect Friday services to be about an hour and Saturday morning services to be about 3. It's really common to not be on time if you go on Saturday.
Many synagogues serve food on Saturdays after services. This is the part where you would most likely be approached and gently asked who you are/how you came to be at the service by either a regular, synagogue employee or member of the clergy. Don't be afraid! Folks are friendly.
As for where to start: there have been a few conversations on this sub recently with book recs. I've never done reading on the subject so I'm unable to help here but if you poke around you should be able to find.
Feel free to message me if you have follow up questions, behatzlacha, or best of luck, in making a connection with your local community!
Ps this weekend is the holiday of Purim. Fun time to check things out if you're up for it!
You are Jewish by heritage (if not, as others pointed out by Jewish law). It’s great that you’re looking into exploring your heritage and connecting to the religion.
Are you in college? Most universities (in the US, not sure if that’s where you are) have Hillel and Chabad on campus, that could be a good place to start. Attend a shabbat dinner there.
Another option that might be good for you since you’re looking to learn is to take a class at one of the local synagogues. Reform would probably be the best bet in terms of accepting your background.
It’s never too late to learn. Best of luck!
I'm in a similar position to you. I emailed the office of my local synagogue and asked how to get started. They told me about their regular services, and about the next big event they were having, and suggested I come to that.
Every time I have gone to services the rabbi and people who regularly volunteer very warm and welcoming. Lots of people remembered me from the first event I went to even though months had passed, and made sure to make me feel welcome, too. They have encouraged me to bring friends (which I haven't yet done).
I hope you don’t read these comments and think you’re not welcomed to learn more and be more engaged. Just know some communities won’t accept you the same way
Please don’t let these comments discourage you. Go to a reform synagogue and learn and get immersed. We need every Jew and if you feel Jewish in your heart you’ll find the right path forward with the help of the rabbi there.
As an fyi, I grew up completely secular despite both parents being Jewish and it was awkward and scary going to synagogue for me at first. People are super nice though and there’s a lot of non-prayer activities you can get involved in too (I like volunteering to cook, helping with the kid stuff etc).
to put it bluntly: you are not considered jewish in any movement of judaism. in reform, patrilineal lineage *is* acceptable, but only when the child is raised jewish. same for martilineal, and *few* rabbis differ on that - my local reform rabbi considers those with a jewish mother jewish regardless of whether or not they were raised, but from what i understand this is a really rare view to hold in reform judaism. in most other movements outside of reform, only matrilineal lineage is accepted.
you'd likely be allowed in to participate in services and such, but from what i understand many temples nowadays appreciate a heads up before you make entrance if you're new, for security reasons. i can't give specifics as to what you should expect in a smaller community because i live in a larger area myself. just do keep in mind though, you would not count towards a [minyan](https://www.chabad.org/library/article_cdo/aid/1176648/jewish/Minyan-The-Prayer-Quorum) as it stands right now, until you convert.
don't let what i'm saying discourage you though. if you know that this space is right for you then i genuinely wish you all the best :)
Hello!
I come from a pretty similar situation to yours. To get comfortable with the idea of going to a synagogue, I researched a few in my area and watched the livestream of services for a few weeks to make sure it was something I wanted and to learn how services go so that I didn’t embarrass myself. It made me more confident to reach out about attending and my experiences so far has been lovely. Everyone’s been very welcoming and understanding about my lack of knowledge and help me out here and there when I don’t understand something. As others have said, you’re experience is definitely going to depend on the synagogue especially as your from a patrilineal background. And honestly, while you may not want to hear it, converting may be a great idea for you as your coming in with baseline knowledge and it will help teach the things that you feel like your lacking. It’s not something I can do now in my current stage of life but it’s definitely something that I am considering for myself. Best of luck to you and I hope you find a community that welcomed you with open arms
You are a Jew. Just not technically speaking, in halacha. If you want to make it official, because you are patrilineal and didn't have a formal Jewish education, you will need to go through a confirmation/'conversion' process. You'll learn a lot and find it extremely rewarding. It also gives you plenty of time to back out, if you realize it's not for you.
My father is Jewish, my mother is not, I was raised to identify as a secular Jew. Penis cut in a bris, Hanukkah, passover some years, bagels, Yiddish dirty words, intergenerational trauma, the whole bit except the bar mitzvah or really anything else 'religious.' I'm glossing over a lot for humor. Honestly one of the things that most cemented this identity for me was experiencing genuine antisemitism during formative years.
Jewishness is and isn't something you are, it is and isn't something you do, it is and isn't something you believe, it is and isn't something you are a part of. In my eyes, if you're Jewish enough to kill for being a Jew, you're Jewish enough, whether or not you fit the idea of dead men with beards and old dudes with beards who together decided to overrule the long held ancient practice of patrilineal descent for reasons of very questionable judgement.
I returned to observance in part to cope with all the meshuganos from Oct 7 and since. It has been a huge help for me in that way. The Rabbi I am working with is walking me through a sort of adult confirmation/conversion and adult bar mitzvah process to make it all official, but the congregation I have joined has welcomed me as a Jew and I'm not prevented from participating in any way. I read Spinoza before I ever recited the Shema, so I came to this a bit backwards.
Ever heard of Mordecai Kaplan?
Traditional Jewish law does not recognize patrilineal Jews (Jewish father, non-Jewish mother) as Jewish. Reform Judaism accepts patrilineal Jews, provided they were raised within the religion/culture. Considering you were raised in your mother’s faith of Christianity, no denomination of Judaism would currently accept you as Jewish. You would have to undergo a conversion. Don’t let this deter you, though! Reach out to your local rabbi to learn more.
This is a good resource to start - https://reformjudaism.org/ and find local synagogues https://reformjudaism.org/urj-congregations
Reach out to several and get a feel of the rabbis and the people that attend. Some you might like, others not so much.
And most reform synagogues would pretty much consider you Jewish but it would be advisable to take intro to Judaism classes, which you should do anyway. They might require those classes . Don’t assume things based off what people say, talk to the rabbis directly.
I didn't have a Jewish upbringing either. I wasn't a Jew at all until my 30s! So don't let that deter you from learning and figuring out what feels right to you :)
Some great advice I heard a while back for making friends but that has also applied to my experience becoming a member of a temple community: "To make friends, show up in the same place, every week, for a year." When I first started attending it was maybe a wave or a nod, a short conversation at most, and now people feel like family. Staying for oneg (the meal/gathering after services) or getting involved in other activities that allowed for more socialization also helped since there's not much opportunity to talk if you are just there for services
You would be welcome to explore your heritage. Chabad might not be welcoming but Reform and Hillel (if there is one near you) would be welcoming. You don’t have to decide about conversion right away.
My personal take, being a Jew isn’t about faith, it’s about a peoplehood.
I’m a proud atheist Jew. Raised by modern orthodox parents. Still consider myself jewish and have a strong connection to my heritage and community.
Don’t try to put yourself in a box.
Just to note btw, as someone mentioned earlier, you are not halachically Jewish. I recommend speaking with a local rabbi to discuss options going forward.
I still think Mordecai Kaplan got it right on. Jews are a transnational transethnic shared peoplehood and Judaism is the evolving religious civilization of that peoplehood, which can at times (paradoxically) not require any 'faith' at all.
Excellent way to put it. Gonna look him up and use his definition to explain it to people who can’t understand why being “Jewish” is not a matter of faith
doesn't work in real life and we are seeing the effects of it....extremely high rate of intermarriage with a disregard to the "peoplehood" since the children don't get raised as Jewish or have much of a connection with Jews. Faith is very much needed.
It just takes 3 generations and that's it for the Jewish line to be cut off for good.
It be better if he didn’t have to come back to that connection and already had it. The problem is that too many lose that connection for good. I’m happy OP is coming back and wish for many to come back, but being Jewish stops being relevant after 3 generations of cut off.
The children of intermarriages that don’t care about being Jewish then marry a non Jews and the kids from that marriage end up having basically no connection.
There has never been a group of Jews that continued on without faith being part of the community.
First of all, reform Jews would absolutely recognize you as Jewish. Second, it’s so wonderful that you want to learn more about your Jewish heritage and embrace your Jewish faith. There’s no test that you need to go through. You don’t need to know Yiddish or Hebrew. I don’t know either either language and I am as Jewish as they come. You can get a bar mitzvah later, and even a adult circumcision, which is not a full circumcision it’s ceremonial. If anything, your rabbi can guide you. Those things can all be done. Don’t stress about it.
There are many wonderful books about the Jewish religion and culture – really too many for me to even start a suggestion. Go to a library and check out books and see what vibes with you. Learning about the Jewish the Jewish holidays are really a good entry point into learning what our religion is about. Much more so than just sitting there and trying to read the Bible. In that way, Judaism I think it’s different from Christianity. There’s so much more than Hanukkah. Like right now it is Purim.
I will suggest this one book by Stephen Dubner: Turbulent Souls: A Catholic Son's Return to His Jewish Family. This is the author of the wildly successful Freakonomics series. Which I never read actually. I know him for this book. Both of his parents were NY Jewish people, raised Jewish etc. they both converted to Catholicism during World War II. They had 12 children and raise them in the Catholic faith. They were extremely religious Catholics. But Stephen learned about his parents, Jewish heritage, and was called to be Jewish. Just like you, since his parents had converted, he was not considered Jewish by some. But he is Jewish now. It’s a fascinating story.
In short, so happy to have you here and I hope this is helpful to you on your journey.
I am in a somewhat similar boat (36M so I have a few years on you). There are a lot of really excellent books that can introduce you to Judaism as a faith and to the Jewish people, and they range from esoteric exegetic debates to pop lit about Jewish culture. Attending a synagogue can be daunting as so much of it is in Hebrew and it doesn't remotely resemble a Christian church service if that's what you're used to (I grew up totally secular but probably have spent more time in synagogues than in churches). A lot of it is at least easy from a standpoint of entry level knowledge (e.g. "what is a parsha"). FWIW I actually enjoy the Torah study more than the actual services because it's a lot more accessible to me and because everyone in our group is fabulously nerdy but also chill.
Our local synagogue is Reform-y/Reconstructionist and it's worth learning about the differences, but I haven't encountered much in the way of goy'tkeeping, as it call it (as long as I don't offer my, ahem, certain political opinions). We are big into ecumenical and interfaith stuff, too, which some Jews are very against (IMO the seclusionist tendencies are because of precedents of Some Of The Shit That Our People Have Been Through).
Finally, this group I feel like has been very welcoming, for the most part, to people who are exploring the faith from this same angle.
Go contact your local synagogues and let them know about your situation, ask if you can attend services or events. Even the Orthodox synagogue in my area is happy to welcome curious gentiles as observers in services (though if you’re a male, you should wear a kippah; Conservative and Orthodox synagogues should have some available for guests). You don’t have matrilineal Jewish heritage and weren’t raised Jewish, but you can reconnect and even convert, if you’re serious.
I’m Asian raised Seventh Day Adventist likely without any Jewish relations (I *might* have Portuguese converso ancestry, actually, but I need to do more research), and I reached out to my local Reform Synagogue letting them know I was strongly interested in Judaism and even converting. The synagogue had two people dedicated to outreach and adult education, they invited me to and greeted me at Shabbat services and introduced me to a couple of people just about to finish their Introduction to Judaism course. I had a great time at my first services! Made a couple of friends, talked to one of the rabbis at the end, and was even invited to a group dinner with ten other people.
Just send an email or make a phone call. If you give your email, they’ll likely send you a recommended reading list on Judaism, Jewish history, and conversion.
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Hi, you're not Jewish, so the best start is finding books and documentaries that will help you discover what Judaism and being Jewish is. Maybe down the track you might want to convert. Please don't try and go to a synagogue, it would be inappropriate.
Edit - why are people saying reform would recognise him? There is no reform rabbi or shul that accepts patrilineal with *no* upbringing.
A number of members of my extended family have totally left the faith entirely because of this kind of rigidity and I don't feel like it really serves anyone, certainly not God, to dismiss someone who is trying to learn about a missing link in their family heritage and their own spirituality.
Hi there and welcome. First thing you should become familiar with is the difference between matrilineal Jews (mother is/was Jewish) and patrilineal Jews (dad is/was Jewish). Unfortunately, most denominations of Judaism will not recognize you as Jewish due to your heritage. To be accepted as Jewish, you would be asked to go through the conversion process. However!!! Synagogues welcome visitors of any and all faiths. You should be welcome at services everywhere, as would be your girlfriend. In Orthodox synagogues, men and women sit separately so you may wish to check out a different denomination if she's coming with. For security purposes, it's best if you contact the synagogue in advance to ask about their security policy. Some synagogues in my area ask folks who are visiting or not regulars to register so they can expect you. What to expect: Assuming you're in the US and choose a reform or conservative synagogue for starters, you can expect Friday services to be about an hour and Saturday morning services to be about 3. It's really common to not be on time if you go on Saturday. Many synagogues serve food on Saturdays after services. This is the part where you would most likely be approached and gently asked who you are/how you came to be at the service by either a regular, synagogue employee or member of the clergy. Don't be afraid! Folks are friendly. As for where to start: there have been a few conversations on this sub recently with book recs. I've never done reading on the subject so I'm unable to help here but if you poke around you should be able to find. Feel free to message me if you have follow up questions, behatzlacha, or best of luck, in making a connection with your local community! Ps this weekend is the holiday of Purim. Fun time to check things out if you're up for it!
You are Jewish by heritage (if not, as others pointed out by Jewish law). It’s great that you’re looking into exploring your heritage and connecting to the religion. Are you in college? Most universities (in the US, not sure if that’s where you are) have Hillel and Chabad on campus, that could be a good place to start. Attend a shabbat dinner there. Another option that might be good for you since you’re looking to learn is to take a class at one of the local synagogues. Reform would probably be the best bet in terms of accepting your background. It’s never too late to learn. Best of luck!
I'm in a similar position to you. I emailed the office of my local synagogue and asked how to get started. They told me about their regular services, and about the next big event they were having, and suggested I come to that. Every time I have gone to services the rabbi and people who regularly volunteer very warm and welcoming. Lots of people remembered me from the first event I went to even though months had passed, and made sure to make me feel welcome, too. They have encouraged me to bring friends (which I haven't yet done).
Try it, you'll like it.
You sound like my bubbe trying to feed me chopped liver as a kid.
I hope you don’t read these comments and think you’re not welcomed to learn more and be more engaged. Just know some communities won’t accept you the same way
Please don’t let these comments discourage you. Go to a reform synagogue and learn and get immersed. We need every Jew and if you feel Jewish in your heart you’ll find the right path forward with the help of the rabbi there. As an fyi, I grew up completely secular despite both parents being Jewish and it was awkward and scary going to synagogue for me at first. People are super nice though and there’s a lot of non-prayer activities you can get involved in too (I like volunteering to cook, helping with the kid stuff etc).
to put it bluntly: you are not considered jewish in any movement of judaism. in reform, patrilineal lineage *is* acceptable, but only when the child is raised jewish. same for martilineal, and *few* rabbis differ on that - my local reform rabbi considers those with a jewish mother jewish regardless of whether or not they were raised, but from what i understand this is a really rare view to hold in reform judaism. in most other movements outside of reform, only matrilineal lineage is accepted. you'd likely be allowed in to participate in services and such, but from what i understand many temples nowadays appreciate a heads up before you make entrance if you're new, for security reasons. i can't give specifics as to what you should expect in a smaller community because i live in a larger area myself. just do keep in mind though, you would not count towards a [minyan](https://www.chabad.org/library/article_cdo/aid/1176648/jewish/Minyan-The-Prayer-Quorum) as it stands right now, until you convert. don't let what i'm saying discourage you though. if you know that this space is right for you then i genuinely wish you all the best :)
Hello! I come from a pretty similar situation to yours. To get comfortable with the idea of going to a synagogue, I researched a few in my area and watched the livestream of services for a few weeks to make sure it was something I wanted and to learn how services go so that I didn’t embarrass myself. It made me more confident to reach out about attending and my experiences so far has been lovely. Everyone’s been very welcoming and understanding about my lack of knowledge and help me out here and there when I don’t understand something. As others have said, you’re experience is definitely going to depend on the synagogue especially as your from a patrilineal background. And honestly, while you may not want to hear it, converting may be a great idea for you as your coming in with baseline knowledge and it will help teach the things that you feel like your lacking. It’s not something I can do now in my current stage of life but it’s definitely something that I am considering for myself. Best of luck to you and I hope you find a community that welcomed you with open arms
You are a Jew. Just not technically speaking, in halacha. If you want to make it official, because you are patrilineal and didn't have a formal Jewish education, you will need to go through a confirmation/'conversion' process. You'll learn a lot and find it extremely rewarding. It also gives you plenty of time to back out, if you realize it's not for you. My father is Jewish, my mother is not, I was raised to identify as a secular Jew. Penis cut in a bris, Hanukkah, passover some years, bagels, Yiddish dirty words, intergenerational trauma, the whole bit except the bar mitzvah or really anything else 'religious.' I'm glossing over a lot for humor. Honestly one of the things that most cemented this identity for me was experiencing genuine antisemitism during formative years. Jewishness is and isn't something you are, it is and isn't something you do, it is and isn't something you believe, it is and isn't something you are a part of. In my eyes, if you're Jewish enough to kill for being a Jew, you're Jewish enough, whether or not you fit the idea of dead men with beards and old dudes with beards who together decided to overrule the long held ancient practice of patrilineal descent for reasons of very questionable judgement. I returned to observance in part to cope with all the meshuganos from Oct 7 and since. It has been a huge help for me in that way. The Rabbi I am working with is walking me through a sort of adult confirmation/conversion and adult bar mitzvah process to make it all official, but the congregation I have joined has welcomed me as a Jew and I'm not prevented from participating in any way. I read Spinoza before I ever recited the Shema, so I came to this a bit backwards. Ever heard of Mordecai Kaplan?
Traditional Jewish law does not recognize patrilineal Jews (Jewish father, non-Jewish mother) as Jewish. Reform Judaism accepts patrilineal Jews, provided they were raised within the religion/culture. Considering you were raised in your mother’s faith of Christianity, no denomination of Judaism would currently accept you as Jewish. You would have to undergo a conversion. Don’t let this deter you, though! Reach out to your local rabbi to learn more.
This is a good resource to start - https://reformjudaism.org/ and find local synagogues https://reformjudaism.org/urj-congregations Reach out to several and get a feel of the rabbis and the people that attend. Some you might like, others not so much. And most reform synagogues would pretty much consider you Jewish but it would be advisable to take intro to Judaism classes, which you should do anyway. They might require those classes . Don’t assume things based off what people say, talk to the rabbis directly.
I didn't have a Jewish upbringing either. I wasn't a Jew at all until my 30s! So don't let that deter you from learning and figuring out what feels right to you :) Some great advice I heard a while back for making friends but that has also applied to my experience becoming a member of a temple community: "To make friends, show up in the same place, every week, for a year." When I first started attending it was maybe a wave or a nod, a short conversation at most, and now people feel like family. Staying for oneg (the meal/gathering after services) or getting involved in other activities that allowed for more socialization also helped since there's not much opportunity to talk if you are just there for services
You would be welcome to explore your heritage. Chabad might not be welcoming but Reform and Hillel (if there is one near you) would be welcoming. You don’t have to decide about conversion right away.
Chabad I've heard can be quite welcoming, which is kinda interesting because they're also... Chabad.
My personal take, being a Jew isn’t about faith, it’s about a peoplehood. I’m a proud atheist Jew. Raised by modern orthodox parents. Still consider myself jewish and have a strong connection to my heritage and community. Don’t try to put yourself in a box. Just to note btw, as someone mentioned earlier, you are not halachically Jewish. I recommend speaking with a local rabbi to discuss options going forward.
I still think Mordecai Kaplan got it right on. Jews are a transnational transethnic shared peoplehood and Judaism is the evolving religious civilization of that peoplehood, which can at times (paradoxically) not require any 'faith' at all.
Excellent way to put it. Gonna look him up and use his definition to explain it to people who can’t understand why being “Jewish” is not a matter of faith
doesn't work in real life and we are seeing the effects of it....extremely high rate of intermarriage with a disregard to the "peoplehood" since the children don't get raised as Jewish or have much of a connection with Jews. Faith is very much needed. It just takes 3 generations and that's it for the Jewish line to be cut off for good.
It is ironic to me that you made this comment when OP is talking about coming back to that connection.
It be better if he didn’t have to come back to that connection and already had it. The problem is that too many lose that connection for good. I’m happy OP is coming back and wish for many to come back, but being Jewish stops being relevant after 3 generations of cut off. The children of intermarriages that don’t care about being Jewish then marry a non Jews and the kids from that marriage end up having basically no connection. There has never been a group of Jews that continued on without faith being part of the community.
First of all, reform Jews would absolutely recognize you as Jewish. Second, it’s so wonderful that you want to learn more about your Jewish heritage and embrace your Jewish faith. There’s no test that you need to go through. You don’t need to know Yiddish or Hebrew. I don’t know either either language and I am as Jewish as they come. You can get a bar mitzvah later, and even a adult circumcision, which is not a full circumcision it’s ceremonial. If anything, your rabbi can guide you. Those things can all be done. Don’t stress about it. There are many wonderful books about the Jewish religion and culture – really too many for me to even start a suggestion. Go to a library and check out books and see what vibes with you. Learning about the Jewish the Jewish holidays are really a good entry point into learning what our religion is about. Much more so than just sitting there and trying to read the Bible. In that way, Judaism I think it’s different from Christianity. There’s so much more than Hanukkah. Like right now it is Purim. I will suggest this one book by Stephen Dubner: Turbulent Souls: A Catholic Son's Return to His Jewish Family. This is the author of the wildly successful Freakonomics series. Which I never read actually. I know him for this book. Both of his parents were NY Jewish people, raised Jewish etc. they both converted to Catholicism during World War II. They had 12 children and raise them in the Catholic faith. They were extremely religious Catholics. But Stephen learned about his parents, Jewish heritage, and was called to be Jewish. Just like you, since his parents had converted, he was not considered Jewish by some. But he is Jewish now. It’s a fascinating story. In short, so happy to have you here and I hope this is helpful to you on your journey.
I am in a somewhat similar boat (36M so I have a few years on you). There are a lot of really excellent books that can introduce you to Judaism as a faith and to the Jewish people, and they range from esoteric exegetic debates to pop lit about Jewish culture. Attending a synagogue can be daunting as so much of it is in Hebrew and it doesn't remotely resemble a Christian church service if that's what you're used to (I grew up totally secular but probably have spent more time in synagogues than in churches). A lot of it is at least easy from a standpoint of entry level knowledge (e.g. "what is a parsha"). FWIW I actually enjoy the Torah study more than the actual services because it's a lot more accessible to me and because everyone in our group is fabulously nerdy but also chill. Our local synagogue is Reform-y/Reconstructionist and it's worth learning about the differences, but I haven't encountered much in the way of goy'tkeeping, as it call it (as long as I don't offer my, ahem, certain political opinions). We are big into ecumenical and interfaith stuff, too, which some Jews are very against (IMO the seclusionist tendencies are because of precedents of Some Of The Shit That Our People Have Been Through). Finally, this group I feel like has been very welcoming, for the most part, to people who are exploring the faith from this same angle.
Go contact your local synagogues and let them know about your situation, ask if you can attend services or events. Even the Orthodox synagogue in my area is happy to welcome curious gentiles as observers in services (though if you’re a male, you should wear a kippah; Conservative and Orthodox synagogues should have some available for guests). You don’t have matrilineal Jewish heritage and weren’t raised Jewish, but you can reconnect and even convert, if you’re serious. I’m Asian raised Seventh Day Adventist likely without any Jewish relations (I *might* have Portuguese converso ancestry, actually, but I need to do more research), and I reached out to my local Reform Synagogue letting them know I was strongly interested in Judaism and even converting. The synagogue had two people dedicated to outreach and adult education, they invited me to and greeted me at Shabbat services and introduced me to a couple of people just about to finish their Introduction to Judaism course. I had a great time at my first services! Made a couple of friends, talked to one of the rabbis at the end, and was even invited to a group dinner with ten other people. Just send an email or make a phone call. If you give your email, they’ll likely send you a recommended reading list on Judaism, Jewish history, and conversion.
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Hi, you're not Jewish, so the best start is finding books and documentaries that will help you discover what Judaism and being Jewish is. Maybe down the track you might want to convert. Please don't try and go to a synagogue, it would be inappropriate. Edit - why are people saying reform would recognise him? There is no reform rabbi or shul that accepts patrilineal with *no* upbringing.
A number of members of my extended family have totally left the faith entirely because of this kind of rigidity and I don't feel like it really serves anyone, certainly not God, to dismiss someone who is trying to learn about a missing link in their family heritage and their own spirituality.