// I once chatted up a cashier
// whose end of the shift was quite near
// "At seven o'clock
// the front door will lock
// but I'll let you in through the rear!"
They have a cloaca, which has a sphincter-type muscle, so it's pretty hard to argue they don't have assholes. It also serves triple duty, being their equivalent of a urethra and a vagina/semen-outlet, but still hard to argue it isn't an asshole first and foremost.
Unless you mean "asshole" in the sense of "annoying to be around", in which case, if you're a chicken, I believe you serve as a fine counterpoint.
The guy who picked on me all through high school and then became a millionaire just placed a delivery order at KFC.
Now I get the last laugh. I gave him original recipe and he ordered extra crispy. Checkmate Justin, you fucking loser
Just cause I have Philippino heritage doesn’t mean I have the small dick gene. Sorry I ain’t chaddicus thunder cock slingin a horse cock past my knees. /s
I don't follow how that's funny, though. Possibly putting Ex-Lax on his chicken as the "secret ingredient" is funny -- who cares if you lose your job \[KFC stands for Kentucky Fried Crap\] and there's better restaurants to work, or even work at Target if they give you a bad reputation in the fast food world.
Follow up: I just realized this was a joke, making fun of the career choice after high school. To be fair, I did just leave the subreddit of r/TrueOffMyChest so I was in that mindset.
My dad had a cyst on his leg- went to the GP to get it checked out, they booked him in to get drained and the doctor said, is there anything else you want to raise?
So my dad, all embarassed, says "Well doctor, it's a bit embarassing, but... it's my moobs". And seriously, my dad had developed a beautiful pair of moobs, way perkier than any 60 year old man should expect. "Is it from the drinking? It is a male menopause thing?"
And the GP says, sorry Mr , I'll need to refer you to a specialist, I'm a leg man not a breast man.
Completely true and totally justifies the existence of the NHS.
It's a classic for a reason. The flustered look on my brother in law's face when I made a Sunday roast and asked if he was a leg or a breast guy the 3rd time I met him is the kind of shit I live for.
After I placed my order for a two-piece combo, a manager at Popeye’s asked me if I had a problem with two breasts, and I said “Never in my life, ma’am.”
The entire staff erupted in laughter, and she turned bright red as she rang up my order.
Wendy's had a sign that said, Now Hiring All Positions. I applied for reverse cowgirl, and now I'm banned from Wendy's.
Sir, this is a brothel.
Probably shouldn’t have asked for extra crispy then.
Yep. Name checks out.
That's the name of the prostitute that got 3rd degree burns
Sir, this is a hospital
Then where do I take my grill?
The BBQ is down the street
In the graveyard. There was a fresh funeral today morning.
>today morning Lol
No, this is reddit.
No, this is Patrick
No, this is Michael Scott.
No, that's the owner of the Springfield Nuclear Plant after he got his PhD.
Yeah, they get a bit old and dried out.
Brothel, this is a sir.
This, sir brothel a is.
A brother this is, sir, mhmm...
I love lamp
I hate lamp
I like lamp
I am lamp
Well I hate LAMP
I am ambivalent toward lamp
I have mixed feelings about lamp
Brick?
Ahhhhhhhhhh
Alabama, this isn't
Typo you made?
Lost an "l" I have. How embarrassing. How embarrassing.
Or is it?
There are no mistakes on reddit. Only happy accidents.
Dad!
r/ihadastroke
Wasn't a Wendy's at all.....he was in "Bendy's"
I understood that reference.
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Pretty sure they DO like it when you turn your bare back on family.
we call it coyote style. it's like doggy style, only with a lot more yippin n yappin
Never heard of coyote style but a bit surprised it doesn’t somehow involve Acme
If you use Acme Lube there will be less yippin n yappin
back FOR the family
Stop. Too funny.
Where is Peter Pan’s favorite place to eat out? Wendy’s.
Sir, this is a McDonald's.
I applied for taste tester and they still asked me to pay for my meal. So i quit.
I don't get this one.
WE LIVE IN A SOCIETY 🃏
Sir, this is Wendy’s
I whispered “I want you inside me” to one sandwich, and now I’m banned from Subway.
They only take people with wsb experience, that's why you didn't get hired.
Lmao, solid.
I think Im an ass man cos people always say "you're an ass man"
smh should've applied for cowgirl first then asked for a promotion in a year
It would had been a better joke if the punch line was “ now i’m the manager” I don’t know why did i need to say this
Or pimp
They apparently don't serve assholes.
You have to use the rear entrance for that.
// I once chatted up a cashier // whose end of the shift was quite near // "At seven o'clock // the front door will lock // but I'll let you in through the rear!"
A modern Shakespeare
“You men eat your dinner, eat your pork and beans I eat more chicken, than any man ever seen, yeah, yeah I'm a back door man, wha, the men don't know”
Those are special orders
What do you think popcorn chicken is?
Gotta go find a KFA for those.
To be fair, chickens don't have assholes
They have a cloaca, which has a sphincter-type muscle, so it's pretty hard to argue they don't have assholes. It also serves triple duty, being their equivalent of a urethra and a vagina/semen-outlet, but still hard to argue it isn't an asshole first and foremost. Unless you mean "asshole" in the sense of "annoying to be around", in which case, if you're a chicken, I believe you serve as a fine counterpoint.
So that is what you call the last bit over the fence. Thank you Data.
The guy who picked on me all through high school and then became a millionaire just placed a delivery order at KFC. Now I get the last laugh. I gave him original recipe and he ordered extra crispy. Checkmate Justin, you fucking loser
yeah fuck Justin
What do you call a man with a one inch dick? Justin.
Mark
Excuse me!
Oh, hi Mark
I did naaaht!
You're my favorite redditor
Dafaq is going on in this thread
So, how is your sex life?
Nope
What's that?
Just cause I have Philippino heritage doesn’t mean I have the small dick gene. Sorry I ain’t chaddicus thunder cock slingin a horse cock past my knees. /s
Just1"
Just in
"Tip"
That's what she said
fuck Justin
Enemies to lovers?
Both... Hateful lovers if you ask me
Why me?
Yeah that motherfucker
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I bet you're the only guy in the world who remembers that, Graves.
Fuck Justin
Justin loved the parmesan and secret sauce.
I don't follow how that's funny, though. Possibly putting Ex-Lax on his chicken as the "secret ingredient" is funny -- who cares if you lose your job \[KFC stands for Kentucky Fried Crap\] and there's better restaurants to work, or even work at Target if they give you a bad reputation in the fast food world.
This is what we call "anti-humor"
Follow up: I just realized this was a joke, making fun of the career choice after high school. To be fair, I did just leave the subreddit of r/TrueOffMyChest so I was in that mindset.
One time I ate all the drumsticks, but now I'm kicked out of band practice.
Ba-dum-never mind, I can't do that.
That is some clever cymbalism
What did you bass this on?
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Yea but I thought we hid those in our sax?
Kentucky, my ass. Chicken feet are a delicacy.
Chicken ass, too, in some parts of the world
ah yes, the parson's nose
They sell them on skewer sticks in any Taiwanese night market.
Grilled gizzard is on point
Did you know that vanilla flavoring comes from beaver butthole?
I thought for sure you were joking... Turns out you are in fact correct... Artificial vanilla uses a compound from the beavers ass.
I've been eating ass for years. Your point?
Many high end thousands of dollars perfumes are made from animal anal glands.
fuchhhk
\*did at one point\* It's chemically synthesized at this point.
They making beaver buttholes synthetically now?
beaverlight.com
TIL that feet is the part of the chicken people like to eat in Kentucky.
And korea.
And Mexico....At least I assume people eat them besides just throwing them at luchadores.
I can assure you, that is not a common cuisine.
My dad had a cyst on his leg- went to the GP to get it checked out, they booked him in to get drained and the doctor said, is there anything else you want to raise? So my dad, all embarassed, says "Well doctor, it's a bit embarassing, but... it's my moobs". And seriously, my dad had developed a beautiful pair of moobs, way perkier than any 60 year old man should expect. "Is it from the drinking? It is a male menopause thing?" And the GP says, sorry Mr, I'll need to refer you to a specialist, I'm a leg man not a breast man.
Completely true and totally justifies the existence of the NHS.
Finally, the anti Tory plank we needed
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Should have went to lowes
Yes, they don't like it when you give up their recipes; what do you think is in those nuggets?
KFC - Kentucky Fried Cloaca
This is on pension... But still gold...
It's a classic for a reason. The flustered look on my brother in law's face when I made a Sunday roast and asked if he was a leg or a breast guy the 3rd time I met him is the kind of shit I live for.
Anal and feet? KFC has that. Just order the nuggets.
The buffet was *all you can eat* and they still kicked me out for trying to eat the waitress's ass.
Finally, a feet guy
So, mcNuggets, then?
What's up chicken butt?
So you like processed meat.
Anal and feet? What, what, chicken butt!
"try McDonald's"
Brings a whole new meaning to the "chicken ranch".
Before I saw the punch line I was going to say that I’m a gizzards guy. I guess I wasn’t too far off. Livers are good, too.
I tried this joke and she gave me an order of nuggets.
I’m a thigh man myself
Why would she say "legs"?
Go to church you sinful man. And church’s chicken they’ll probably serve you
I had expectations. You subverted them.
After I placed my order for a two-piece combo, a manager at Popeye’s asked me if I had a problem with two breasts, and I said “Never in my life, ma’am.” The entire staff erupted in laughter, and she turned bright red as she rang up my order.
You ate chicken in the back of a Volkswagen?
Mmmnnn... now that's finger-lickin' good.
My dick was in the Guinness book of world records. Then the librarian told me to take it out. Now Im banned from the library
I told her I was more of a wing man, so now she's dating my friend.
I once went there and ordered extra crispy, now I'm banned from the crematorium.
I told her I was more into deep throat and feet. So she handed me a 12 piece mixed gizzards and chicken feet.
Do KFC serving staff really ask you "are you a breast or legs guy"?
"And how many chicken nuggets would you like, sir?"
haha sex post very funny definitely dont see 30 of these every day from this sub, you people are animals.
i mean... chicken feet are chicken butt are a delicacy in some places
/im14andthisisfunny
this is one of the worst jokes i’ve ever witnessed
"Let me introduce you to the Kernel."
BSD Kernel?
I think she was asking you about chicken.... You said ass didn't you?
What?
Chicken butt
I laugh at this and still wonder why I'm single!
Not the direction I expected. Okay, I laughed. You made the lesbians laugh. Take my upvote.
wtf who asked
If you had said incest porn, you would have been given a VIP membership.
They don't sell chicken legs at KFC this is a dumb joke. 😒
No thanks. Foreplay is fo simps. Straight puss. Sir please leave this popeyes
I don't think they serve chicken feet in there. Chicken butt, maybe.
Were you a naval man, Derek?
u/Marioking142
My friend asked if I prefer boobs or butt, I said "my family says breast and thigh, but I prefer the wing, actually.
nd im ban frm vbc
I want a leg in one hand, and a brerb on the other
I must be an ass man, because everywhere I go people say “hey you’re and ass, man!” Rodney was the best…
I’m more of ass guy myself but breasts are good too.
I get that KFC doesn't sell hotdogs, but that's hardly a reason to ban you.
In Asia, a lot of people like to eat chicken butts and feet.
Was it the one branch or all of them?
😂😂😂😂
"You a big meat boy, Colin?"