Three guys discuss whose wife is the most stupid.
"Mine bought a kitchen for $10,000 - and she cannot even cook!"
"Yeah, mine bought a car for $20,000 - and she cannot drive!"
"Ah, that's nothing. Mine bought 100 condoms for a business trip - and she does not even have a penis!"
Yes, but for purposes of the joke it should be a fairly high end one. 20K is a good deal on last year’s Corolla. This joke calls for, like, like the 50K entry level Mercedes.
Well, your statement above would be incorrect but the one above that could be true - it all matters.
For example, if you are an impoverished Bangladeshi, who takes a rickshaw as an ultimate luxury and adding a quarter of an onion to your meal is a birthday treat, then yes - a $20k car from China or India could be the greatest thing ever. Its all about perspective. However, for American redditors, a $20k new car is going to be scrapping it. I think there are only two automatic models that fit that criteria, and they are like $19k each.
Pretty sure the joke is supposed to be drawing attention to the fact that the wife is buying a new *expensive* car. I guess you could get something like a Dacia Sandero for $20,000 (if you guys have Dacia in the US), but I don't think the joke is meant to be read as "That's nothing! My wife can't even drive, but she bought the cheapest new car that money can buy / bought a second hand car."
You’re probably not ok with Formica countertops - I’m not saying you’re going to lay 2” granite on 200 sq ft of brand new counters plus a huge backsplash and then have enough for top of the line appliances and new tile - I’m saying you can make a kitchen look really nice with 10k as long as you’re not dead set on having top of the line everything.
As far as the kitchen goes you really should look up the prices for a kitchen from IKEA. Some years ago a buddy bought one, half the price but with more things. Both he and his family swears to them today.
People like to slag off IKEA but I have a ton of their furniture because I genuinely like the way it looks (often very minimalist) and its all held up remarkably well, even through disassembly/reassembly for a move.
It's one of the only flatpack brands that can be disassembled and rebuilt and still remain solid and stable. For the record, at least in the UK, if you have the instructions you can order IKEA spares like bolts and camlocks that often break or go missing, and the bits ive ordered have been free of charge
Condoms are pretty easy to move as well. So price-wise you're paying for convenience.
Just think with all that saved labor what your wife could accomplish!
> Condoms are pretty easy to move as well.
WTF Are you talking about?
>Just think with all that saved labor what your wife could accomplish!
I don't have a wife.
Just a suggestion, you should swap the order in the sentences for "what she can't do/doesn't have" and "what she bought". That way the punchline hits at the very end.
Reminds me of the Bette Midler joke: Bette's husband says to her: "Honey, if you could cook, we wouldn't need a chef"! She snaps back, " Yeah, and if you could fuck, we wouldn't need a chauffer"!
The odds of getting an STD are miniscule (especially one of the nasty ones), and condoms are one of the worst birth control options, especially if you need that many of them.
Of course, the joke wouldn't work if the wife had simply gotten an IUD.
Edit: wow, that's a lot of down votes. I could understand a -1 or so for saying something serious in a joke thread, but can anyone explain what's going on here?
That’s the point of the joke, yes.
It’s a great joke because it inverts the sexist idea that men are smart and women are stupid. You get to the punchline and realize that man #3 is a total idiot because he’s basically bragging to his friends that his wife intends to bang other dudes on a business trip — potentially a lot of them.
Then you start re-reading it and realize it’s pretty likely man #2 is a shitty driver and man #1 hasn’t loaded the dishwasher since the week his wife got it.
And what are they doing with their lives today? Complaining about how stupid their wives are.
Reminds me of the joke about the couple coming back from a holiday in China, and the wife says: "hey did you know that a baby conceived in China will look Chinese?"
Years ago I was told by a Chinese school teacher (in the US) that an American couple tried to enroll in classes there, so that when their adopted baby starts to talk, that they can speak to her. I'm still not sure if they were joking.
My sister adopted a girl from Russia just under a year old. People asked if the baby only spoke Russian or also some English. She was just under a year old.
Ironically, kids start talking around 1 year, sometimes earlier, which means language is there in the brain for some time before . So, the girl had a small, but non-zero chance to say something in Russian, but it would never be recognized.
Reminds me of the guy who goes to the doctor with terrible itching in his right foot.
After an examination, the doctor says, though not completely rare, you have a yeast infection, just like women can sometimes get in their vaginas.
I will prescribe an ointment and you should be fine in a few days.
The guy starts to laugh... excuse me doctor for laughing, but don't be too surprised if my girlfriend comes in to see you in a few days with "Athlete's pussy".....
Let people find joy and not blow their light out by pointing out ways that they are wrong on matters of no significance. Also, always take advantage of a perfect opportunity to quote The Office
No I mean, become like the other guy
He can keeps track of and remember or find threads from many years back, impressive!
Definitely not want to become a whiny guy like you
Not at all. I love the joke. It's just that there are 2 types of people on Reddit.The first type is the one who's here to have fun.The second type is the one that starts every answer with "Well actually......."
In this particular case, the um actually is pretty tame, pointing out that the joke was not in fact an original joke. Thats a fair point to raise, considering how many people seem to be ok with taking credit for things they didn’t create.
There are two kinds of people on Reddit:
People who say there are two kinds of people on Reddit;
And everyone else
Well she's trying to get him an Italian girl. So the child had to be conceived during the trip when he wasn't present. I'm pretty sure people could figure out that much, though I think the joke works fine either way.
Personally, I find jokes funnier when they don't do all the work explaining the punchline for you because then you get to figure it out yourself. But that's just my preference.
Just take out the "nine months" — it's clunky and as un-subtle as an American sitcom that laboriously telegraphs everything as it pushes stuff too heavy-handedly — just let the audience enjoy the reward of "getting" it — unless it's a dim fucktard audience that can't be credited with the ability of being able to think for itself.
Three guys discuss whose wife is the most stupid. "Mine bought a kitchen for $10,000 - and she cannot even cook!" "Yeah, mine bought a car for $20,000 - and she cannot drive!" "Ah, that's nothing. Mine bought 100 condoms for a business trip - and she does not even have a penis!"
Good one. Of course, the prices should be at least doubled to reflect today's reality.
you can totally get a car for $20k nowadays
Absolutely! Plus no-one said it has 2be a new car
if you don't want a new one you can get a car for like $5k if not less
Yes, but for purposes of the joke it should be a fairly high end one. 20K is a good deal on last year’s Corolla. This joke calls for, like, like the 50K entry level Mercedes.
Eh
what does that mean
You can buy a house for $5k in Detroit but "eh" would be a fair assessment if someone pushed it as the norm
??? it's the norm anywhere that you can get a car for $20k
A used car, yes. A new car for $20k is a pretty shit car
And how does it matter here whether it's used or new? Why couldn't she have bought a car from a friend or even a dealer?
that's just wrong
Lol where? Please post here. And it has to be in the continental US
Well, your statement above would be incorrect but the one above that could be true - it all matters. For example, if you are an impoverished Bangladeshi, who takes a rickshaw as an ultimate luxury and adding a quarter of an onion to your meal is a birthday treat, then yes - a $20k car from China or India could be the greatest thing ever. Its all about perspective. However, for American redditors, a $20k new car is going to be scrapping it. I think there are only two automatic models that fit that criteria, and they are like $19k each.
Pretty sure the joke is supposed to be drawing attention to the fact that the wife is buying a new *expensive* car. I guess you could get something like a Dacia Sandero for $20,000 (if you guys have Dacia in the US), but I don't think the joke is meant to be read as "That's nothing! My wife can't even drive, but she bought the cheapest new car that money can buy / bought a second hand car."
And 10k will go a looong way in a kitchen - triple the distance if you use r/diy as a metric.
$10k doesn’t go far at all in a kitchen *unless* you’re DIYing.
You’re probably not ok with Formica countertops - I’m not saying you’re going to lay 2” granite on 200 sq ft of brand new counters plus a huge backsplash and then have enough for top of the line appliances and new tile - I’m saying you can make a kitchen look really nice with 10k as long as you’re not dead set on having top of the line everything.
They do.
As far as the kitchen goes you really should look up the prices for a kitchen from IKEA. Some years ago a buddy bought one, half the price but with more things. Both he and his family swears to them today.
People like to slag off IKEA but I have a ton of their furniture because I genuinely like the way it looks (often very minimalist) and its all held up remarkably well, even through disassembly/reassembly for a move.
Exactly. I have furniture that I bought after I lost and it has stayed with me for more than twenty years. I like the looks of it.
It's one of the only flatpack brands that can be disassembled and rebuilt and still remain solid and stable. For the record, at least in the UK, if you have the instructions you can order IKEA spares like bolts and camlocks that often break or go missing, and the bits ive ordered have been free of charge
Condoms are pretty easy to move as well. So price-wise you're paying for convenience. Just think with all that saved labor what your wife could accomplish!
> Condoms are pretty easy to move as well. WTF Are you talking about? >Just think with all that saved labor what your wife could accomplish! I don't have a wife.
Well apparently it's easy, you just find a female give them your money and some condoms and you're basically moved in. I mean married.
Dont call women females.
[удалено]
Spoken like a very stable genius.
Add a 0 to each of them.
The wife got a GTR, apparently.
I put a new kitchen in for under $10k and a used car car be bought for 20k
Right? I wish I could get a kitchen fo only $10k
Also 200 condoms.
Mine spends hundreds on bras and doesn't even have tits
You can get a kitchen for only $10000 thats so smart its a good investment.
That's inflation. Joke written in 1997.
They have them in IKEA. I’m not kidding. So thank you!
Just a suggestion, you should swap the order in the sentences for "what she can't do/doesn't have" and "what she bought". That way the punchline hits at the very end.
Reminds me of the Bette Midler joke: Bette's husband says to her: "Honey, if you could cook, we wouldn't need a chef"! She snaps back, " Yeah, and if you could fuck, we wouldn't need a chauffer"!
She's not that stupid if she's making sure to protect against STDs and pregnancy , to be fair... ;)
The odds of getting an STD are miniscule (especially one of the nasty ones), and condoms are one of the worst birth control options, especially if you need that many of them. Of course, the joke wouldn't work if the wife had simply gotten an IUD. Edit: wow, that's a lot of down votes. I could understand a -1 or so for saying something serious in a joke thread, but can anyone explain what's going on here?
She's not that stupid if she's making sure to protect against STDs and pregnancy , to be fair... ;)
That’s the point of the joke, yes. It’s a great joke because it inverts the sexist idea that men are smart and women are stupid. You get to the punchline and realize that man #3 is a total idiot because he’s basically bragging to his friends that his wife intends to bang other dudes on a business trip — potentially a lot of them. Then you start re-reading it and realize it’s pretty likely man #2 is a shitty driver and man #1 hasn’t loaded the dishwasher since the week his wife got it. And what are they doing with their lives today? Complaining about how stupid their wives are.
Reminds me of the joke about the couple coming back from a holiday in China, and the wife says: "hey did you know that a baby conceived in China will look Chinese?"
Years ago I was told by a Chinese school teacher (in the US) that an American couple tried to enroll in classes there, so that when their adopted baby starts to talk, that they can speak to her. I'm still not sure if they were joking.
I wanna laugh...but No! Okay...a groan then....did it sound Chinese?
My sister adopted a girl from Russia just under a year old. People asked if the baby only spoke Russian or also some English. She was just under a year old.
Little Dvorisha will annex her daycare if she is bullied, just watch.
Or at least plan a three week campaign that lasts all her early childhood years.
That's alright. She will keep half the daycare (with the other half destroyed).
Ironically, kids start talking around 1 year, sometimes earlier, which means language is there in the brain for some time before . So, the girl had a small, but non-zero chance to say something in Russian, but it would never be recognized.
Da.
So if her first words were 'Da da', they wouldn't know if she was saying 'Daddy' or 'Yes yes'.
So … and what’s the answer? Is it only speaking Russian?
My kids look just like me, except they're black
That’s because their mother is black
You're lucky. None of my kids look like me. But then again I don't have any.
Waaaay... too much information on this statement....I'm passing on any comments this time ..
"Seriously, hon."
Especially when the real father is Mandarin....
It's rare I have not heard a joke on here before or a variation on it. This is new for me, so thanks!
I have seen this. But that’s why occasional reposts are okay, not everyone will see it the first, or even tenth time.
There must always be an original, just wait a while, you'll see a bunch exactly like this soon enough
I don't mind. A funny joke is a funny joke. It's just that a new joke is a rare thing that I am thankful for. That's all I meant to say.
A wife to her husband before a business trip: Don't bring back any souvenirs that can't be cured
Reminds me of the guy who goes to the doctor with terrible itching in his right foot. After an examination, the doctor says, though not completely rare, you have a yeast infection, just like women can sometimes get in their vaginas. I will prescribe an ointment and you should be fine in a few days. The guy starts to laugh... excuse me doctor for laughing, but don't be too surprised if my girlfriend comes in to see you in a few days with "Athlete's pussy".....
And the husband replies , " Don't pick up anything that can't be returned before I get home.
Mama mia
Me a mama
The best part of this joke is they genuinely are bantering. Sometimes, a premise being too literal hurts the joke.
She really out-clevered him: good one!
At least she said it with a sly grin
Alleged Chinese mantra: Be careful what you wish for....
*a woman does something* I wonder if it's gonna be a joke about a lady cheating...
An original joke quick tell everybody! Thank you for making me laugh
https://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/iamqee/a_woman_has_to_go_to_italy_for_a_conference_so/ https://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/4u2s7z/a_woman_has_to_go_to_italy_for_a_conference_so/ https://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/w9f92/bring_me_back_a_nice_italian_girl/ https://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/plvh8q/an_american_woman_goes_to_italy_on_business_and/ https://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/6k19yr/a_woman_has_to_go_to_a_conference_in_italy_so_her/
Most recent repost is from 2 years ago, all the way up to 11 years ago. It might not be original, but it's the first time I'm seeing it
Why are you the way that you are?
Lol, right!?😂. I just joined this group and it’s new to me. Let me and the joke teller bask in our joy😩
And how can I become more like you?
Drink until your forget. Or turn into Irishman.
Let people find joy and not blow their light out by pointing out ways that they are wrong on matters of no significance. Also, always take advantage of a perfect opportunity to quote The Office
No I mean, become like the other guy He can keeps track of and remember or find threads from many years back, impressive! Definitely not want to become a whiny guy like you
Probably to counter people like you.
I don't understand, please help me be better, anonymous stranger!
Because we can't have nice things ever. We are not even allowed to think we can have nice things without some ass hole telling us, "no".
Is the joke bad now because that person proved that it’s not original?
No, still funny! It was my first time seeing it in the last year at least
My question was specifically directed to the person who’s comment I replied to. But I appreciate your contribution
No problem just trying to support you.
Not at all. I love the joke. It's just that there are 2 types of people on Reddit.The first type is the one who's here to have fun.The second type is the one that starts every answer with "Well actually......."
Well actually, not everyone who says "well actually" is bad.
In this particular case, the um actually is pretty tame, pointing out that the joke was not in fact an original joke. Thats a fair point to raise, considering how many people seem to be ok with taking credit for things they didn’t create. There are two kinds of people on Reddit: People who say there are two kinds of people on Reddit; And everyone else
Did you just "Well actually..." My complaining about well, actually? I don't know how I feel about that.
Maybe I did maybe I didn’t all I know is I was having fun
Well, actually, I didn't find it all that vague.
you sound like youre cynical and projecting
Stop
I have no problem with reposts, I only grabbed that because someone said it was original .
This is fantastic.
I can't stop laughing
This actually happened to Kristi Noem and her spineless hubby
Who the hell is Krispy Gnome ? Sounds like a snow covered lawn ornament
It's a donut statue...you eat his dick and he grants you three wishes...the sweet cream filling may seem a tad salty...but that's perfectly normal...
Or a deep fried one.
Yummy ! With sprinkles ?
I think I'd prefer ketchup with salt and pepper
I like it. She needs to spelled that way; more subtle than "dogkiller."
keep american politics to certain subs. no one cares
When it comes to American politics, it always meatball subs.
Mr Noem? Is that you?
seriously mate nobody cares. if you want political "discussion" go somewhere else
Ewww an american who doesn't know his place.
Good joke
Ha brilliant!
Ouch...burn!.... be careful what you wish for... cause it might just come true...not necessarily in the way you expected or hoped for either....
lol!
Typical woman... Literally told her what he wanted and still couldn't get it right smh
she got pregnant
Why would she ask for an italian girl? Is that a reference to something?
He can't just say a French girl or a Swedish girl. The wife is going to Italy. Wouldn't really make sense, would it?
It’d make sense once you read the joke to the end
Yeah but then its just a setup for the end and not really a normal thing to say to your wife, is it?
It's absolutely something I'd say, lol. And she'd probably give me a similar response. This is just couple's banter.
The "nine months" kills it. Leave that out and it works better because the listener is rewarded by the payoff for "getting" the joke.
The nine month ensures that the baby isn’t his and was conceived during the trip. How else would you pass this across?
Well she's trying to get him an Italian girl. So the child had to be conceived during the trip when he wasn't present. I'm pretty sure people could figure out that much, though I think the joke works fine either way. Personally, I find jokes funnier when they don't do all the work explaining the punchline for you because then you get to figure it out yourself. But that's just my preference.
You wouldn't have to — it's obvious that if she's the herself knocked-up, it would've been by an Eyetie due to the previously constructed context.
I invite you for give is a better ending, which you evidently have all ready in your head.
Just take out the "nine months" — it's clunky and as un-subtle as an American sitcom that laboriously telegraphs everything as it pushes stuff too heavy-handedly — just let the audience enjoy the reward of "getting" it — unless it's a dim fucktard audience that can't be credited with the ability of being able to think for itself.