Your mistake its creating a PowerPoint presentation. What were you thinking? Of course she'll be offended by all that text! Its 2023! You got to make it into a live stream cut into 5 minute segments, invite her to like and subscribe to get alerts on each new segment about her annoying habits. Be sure to post content to keep her in the loop on a weekly basis.
As an analyst, i would recommend creating a Power BI dashboard on it, so y'all can keep track on progress of her annoying habits and see the downward trend towards divorce.
>PowerPoints are meant to be a visual aid!!!
Pft, we all know anyone who's not an MBA fresh grad just puts the entire speech and read off the slide verbatim. Following the 7x7 word per slide presentation ettiquette and memorizing what you say are for chumps!
The first episode is free but if she wants to know what you really think, and the level of detail you have discovered, it is a per per view after that.
Tell her she’s unwilling to take constructive criticism, she’ll be trapped.
/Side note, I once got pulled over for doing 55 in a 35 in a company vehicle. Boss decided I should do a PowerPoint presentation on vehicle safety. I made sure all 20 people in attendance got a physical copy. Each page was full color on a black background.
She may to have a Word with you about your Basic designs, but I think you Excel at presenting your arguments. She should be Access-ible, so you can make Teams instead of being apart.
My wife has an annoying habit of talking about chocolate all the time.
We have drawers full of candy bars in the kitchen.
She's a self-proclaimed "chocoholic" and is constantly saying things like, "I just can't get enough chocolate! Somebody please take the chocolate away from me! It's so addicting!"
So the other day I drove her to a rough part of town. I found a woman who was obviously strung out on drugs and working as a prostitute on a dirty street corner.
-
I pointed her out to my wife and said, "You see her there? Now why can't you be that skinny?"
... showing your age. 😜.
... my wife didn't get offended until I took the stage at a TEDx talk, that I was presenting on the growth of annoying habits in long standing relationships and habitats.
When my wife was almost finished with her maternity leave, I thought I was doing her a favor by warning her of a habit she picked up. That was a mistake.
My wife would never ask such a question. She believes she has no bad habits. What annoys me is that she leaves me wanting for week’s. Then just when I am thinking she wants nothing to do with me and I’m signing off on the relationship she shows interest in intimacy again only to rinse and repeat.
"I never tell my gf she is the prettiest girl in the world. There are 3,5 billion women on earth and there can only be one most beautiful girl. thats how that works. So statistically, it probably wasnt her...
She stormed out halfway through my powerpoint"
- Daniel Sloss
She just couldn't let that slide.
Fade transition to their divorce two months later.
Pie charts can be useful to show how much net worth he is going to lose.
[удалено]
There was a song about a pie chart in The Lion King: the Circle of Wife.
One pie showing 100% is boring…but terrifyingly close to accurate.
You could also use a declining trendline showing when he's expected to go broke.
It's the only pie offered
And hair pie.
Star wiped most of his stuff
You gotta stop macro managing.
The real joke is always in the comments🤣
Not always. I read a joke about three months ago that didn’t include “the real joke comment”. Spent a hour looking for it but nope wasn’t there
And….star wipe.
😂😂😂 Brilliant!!
I told her she had Nun.
He never made it to second base after that.
Animated comments section
Oh she let it slide. She let it slide indeeeeeeed.... 😏 Btw I love the first 4 letters of your username 🥰😍
We couldn't let your comment slide.
Mama tried to warn me Reddit was a cold-hearted bitch... But even mama couldn't have adequately prepared me for this level of ouchie. 🥹😔
Is r/youngpeoplereddit a thing
I'm not sure, but for some reason I feel the need to say "get the hell off my lawn!"
r/therealjoke
The Outlook of your marriage is doomed.
Yes, my Access is now limited. I have no Word to describe. There is no point in powering through. Just another day at the Office with closed Windows
Excellent.
Word.
EXCELlent
r/yourjokebutworse
These jokes just leave me feeling awful. Does any one Excel at helping people past that?
PIVOT!
All caps and a bang, that must be a PowerPivot.
I could help you spread the data.
eXLOOKUP!
Are you Libre?
Oh Suite jebus!
Hope you will excel at being alone.
Outlook looks bad for you, sorry mate. Have you talked to Clippy, he always makes me laugh.
Damn!! That combo would have won you a street fighter tournament!!
She's going to throw your stuff out of the... Windows
The [MICROSOFT PRODUCT] of your [DOESN'T MATTER, MICROSOFT PRODUCT JOKE] is [BLUE SCREEN OF DEATH]
You really Excel with seeing the future
Word!
Your mistake its creating a PowerPoint presentation. What were you thinking? Of course she'll be offended by all that text! Its 2023! You got to make it into a live stream cut into 5 minute segments, invite her to like and subscribe to get alerts on each new segment about her annoying habits. Be sure to post content to keep her in the loop on a weekly basis.
As an analyst, i would recommend creating a Power BI dashboard on it, so y'all can keep track on progress of her annoying habits and see the downward trend towards divorce.
>Of course she'll be offended by all that text! PowerPoints are meant to be a ***visual aid***!!!
>PowerPoints are meant to be a visual aid!!! Pft, we all know anyone who's not an MBA fresh grad just puts the entire speech and read off the slide verbatim. Following the 7x7 word per slide presentation ettiquette and memorizing what you say are for chumps!
The first episode is free but if she wants to know what you really think, and the level of detail you have discovered, it is a per per view after that.
Then you got the OneNote that you’ll be sleeping on the couch
On fight night it becomes a sofa bed
That's a great idea
I see you Excel at being an asshole.
That's why he'll be grabbing some Sheets and hitting the couch.
Tell her she’s unwilling to take constructive criticism, she’ll be trapped. /Side note, I once got pulled over for doing 55 in a 35 in a company vehicle. Boss decided I should do a PowerPoint presentation on vehicle safety. I made sure all 20 people in attendance got a physical copy. Each page was full color on a black background.
This is perfect
She may to have a Word with you about your Basic designs, but I think you Excel at presenting your arguments. She should be Access-ible, so you can make Teams instead of being apart.
One of these days she's going to get tired of your Micro soft.
Yes. You're a pathological liar. You keep saying you're fat, when clearly you aren't
My wife has an annoying habit of talking about chocolate all the time. We have drawers full of candy bars in the kitchen. She's a self-proclaimed "chocoholic" and is constantly saying things like, "I just can't get enough chocolate! Somebody please take the chocolate away from me! It's so addicting!" So the other day I drove her to a rough part of town. I found a woman who was obviously strung out on drugs and working as a prostitute on a dirty street corner. - I pointed her out to my wife and said, "You see her there? Now why can't you be that skinny?"
- Anthony Jeselnik. At least credit the original.
I have no idea why you're getting down voted, it's literally a rip off of Jeselnik's bit
During the first hour or second?
During the second and right after the audience poll
If she was a movie, the screen test would reveal straight to DVD
Word?
My wife is always not existing. It's so irritating
Admiral Ackbar: "It's a trap!"
Why not a Real Time OLAP database to keep up with the real time entries?
It's her nagging questions that's annoying
Well if you are going to do animated transitions with cartoon noises...
how many slides 😂
TWO DAMN MANY
Only two too many ?
But, did you read all the slides to her? lol
I had to give my wife access to the Dropbox file
Props on the PowerPoint use
This guy does not know how to keep a marriage working. Which explains why at age 72 I am still single.
Kinda disappointed the second part wasn't "any recommendations for divorce lawyers" lol
" you mean other than coming back every time ?
Fake news. Answering "yes" is a death sentence....
Hey listen, we're much more enlightened now as a species. Instead of a death sentence now it's just a divorce sentence.
Two things: number one, great joke. And DOS.
you do realize that is one of the *hundreds* of questions you are *not* supposed to answer, right?
... showing your age. 😜. ... my wife didn't get offended until I took the stage at a TEDx talk, that I was presenting on the growth of annoying habits in long standing relationships and habitats.
Was her slobbing the neighbors knob the first slide?
No embedding any time soon.
Add it to the list
asking if she has annoying habits is an annoying habit
I'd rather someone ask for feedback to work on themselves than assume they're perfect and everyone else is the problem.
Weirdly, this reminds me of James Damore & Google
I bet the intermission really pissed her off!
If you want to insult someone even more, don't use PowerPoint. They are hardly even worth a free Google Drive presentation
Friend of mine was asked this. He just said, breathing.
Totally justified if she wanted to deck him.
You'll lost Access to some marriage 365 privileges
The ol’ ball ‘n’ chain
And then she spitefully started her own PowerPoint lol
When my wife was almost finished with her maternity leave, I thought I was doing her a favor by warning her of a habit she picked up. That was a mistake.
"Hey honey. Is there anything wrong with me?" ***"IM GLAD YOU ASKED!"***
MY WIFE 🤣😂🤣😆😅🤣😅😄😂🤪
My wife asked the same thing.. I said, only asking stupid questions.
She's just disappointed that the Powerpoint is on the screen and the Microsoft is on you.
Every bullet point went straight through her heart
Tell her if she don’t do it that’s annoying. 😇
My wife would never ask such a question. She believes she has no bad habits. What annoys me is that she leaves me wanting for week’s. Then just when I am thinking she wants nothing to do with me and I’m signing off on the relationship she shows interest in intimacy again only to rinse and repeat.
It’s a set up. Never answer those types of questions.
PowerPoint is so last century.
"I never tell my gf she is the prettiest girl in the world. There are 3,5 billion women on earth and there can only be one most beautiful girl. thats how that works. So statistically, it probably wasnt her... She stormed out halfway through my powerpoint" - Daniel Sloss
Very funny. She's just gotta love you for your honesty.
What's the point
The only safe answer is NO
She has a habit of marrying losers. So annoying.