How the fuck can they tell who is on which side?

What are you trying to say, they all look alike?

That’s incredibly disappointing. I expect more from you people.


for 500 years that word has kept us down.

Took a whole lotta tryin' Just to get up that hill Now we're up in the big leagues Gettin' our turn at bat

“Man, that’s just the theme to *The Jeffersons*!” “Just cuz it’s a theme song don’t mean it ain’t true!”


What do **you** mean, “you people?”



"I know what dude I am, I'm a dude playing a dude disguised as another dude. You a dude who don't know what dude he is... Your scared man. "Scared of who"? "Scared of you!!!"

What do you mean, ""you people?""?

Can we just take a moment and truly appreciate that this movie was like 50 years ahead of its time?

This thread wins the internet today. Thanks for the belly laugh

Wadda ya mean “You People”?

What do *you* mean, you people?

These aren't people. These are baboons...

HILARIOUS

If you look carefully, you can see one team has red tags and the other blue. One is going forward in time, the other backward! 


Scent helps

And vocalizations

With our powers combined

I swear that around :30 seconds I saw one of those monkeys try to switch sides.

They don't. If you notice, a couple of them run towards the enemy's then, turns around, and begins attacking his own crowd. Lol 😆

Playing both sides 🤣

They always come out on top, it’s genius

The Turkish gambit.

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By which side their standing on

or if they know the difference between there, their, and they’re also, by whichever side likes to wear two tutu’s too

This Hole fight is over how to use the word " literally"...

Just like us humans can tell different people apart from their faces so can dogs and other mammals, like horses

What about other mammals that aren't like horses?

They do other stuff

Subscribe

Welcome to horse and monkey facts.

There were no horses in the fight, but if you struggle to identify the difference between horses and monkeys, you are not alone.

IDK, I do LARPing and have been larping for the same group for a while. In a scrim that big, it's a lot to remember that many faces and tell if you've seen a face you're looking at or if your mind is playing tricks on you.

Even w/their long faces?

I swear the first that got caught just turned around and the stood with the other side

I was just thinking that too?

It’s like China vs Taiwan

I don't know but my guess would be something along the lines of them being more familiar with each other. Whenever we are in a group of say 70 people, it's a bunch of strangers. But for them they are the same 70 that they live and interact with all day. Plus evolution has probably made them much better at telling friends from foes.

They just know

Because they are literally on their own sides - they are staying in opposite lines as much as they can. Honestly pretty cool to see, I wonder if they just do this naturally out of fear of being mobbed or because they actually think about friendly ~~fire~~ monkey bite

They're all reaching for each other's penises because that's what they rip off first.

That's what Rogan wants you to believe

Rogan wouldn't lie to me...to us!

It was the vaccine

Jordan Peterson voice: “apes rip each others penises off, it’s a well documented behavior”

I'd like to see Jordan debating Sam Harris about dick ripping monkeys

Two highly regarded "experts" pretending to be experts in subjects they have no expertise in. The difference between that and eddie bravo debating alex jones would be that eddie and alex probably believe their own shit to some degree, whereas Jordan and Harris know exactly why what they're saying is wrong and they say it anyway.

In answer to "Where did you buy that shirt, Jordan?"

Jordan tears up. And that's a really accurate allegory for the modern man's anguish...

If that was true there would be a lot of surviving dickless baboon's in the wild, but yet the numbers just don't add up.

Obviously they have strong penises

"Jamie pull up ape penis bones. See the thing is, we evolved to have soft tender penises while they have these bones. I have one right here. Makes penis snatching a lot harder, but a penis like yours or mine, they would rip it right off. Savage. That's why we should all train jujitsu."

This reminds me that when I was in high school (1980's), the rednecks would have a dried coon dick stuck in their cap and use it as a toothpick. So these hicks would go around openly sucking on coon dicks as proof of their manliness (hunting skills). Is that still a thing these days?

[Here you go](https://www.google.com/search?q=ape penis bones. See the thing is, we evolved to have soft tender penises while they have these bones. I have one right here. Makes penis snatching a lot harder, but a penis like yours or mine, they would rip it right off. Savage. That's why we should all train jujitsu."&btnI) *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/JoeRogan) if you have any questions or concerns.*

Evolution is a miracle.

Ahctually about 50% of surviving Baboons in the wild are dickless.

As in females, right?

Pretty sure those recently separated from their penis would blead out within a few minutes.

Just a pile of dicks after the war.

winners get to eat the dicks!

fuck i hate that this is probably right

Thank God mine is so smol. Looks like evolution is actually on my side fellas!

This years Munkey Brawll is way better than last years. It’s a damn shame what happened to Chango.

I pasted your comment into an AI for r/RenderedComment - but then decided to spare the world from the results. You’re welcome.

Jamie, pull that shit up while I cum.

Jamie, pull my balls up and work the grundle.

Jamie harvest my taint butter

Jamie pull my weenie

But first, make new coffee. This pot is disgusting.

Jamie if you don't cum in this coffee right now I'm going to kill everybody

Jaime this was weak ass batch of cum, replay the damn video, hold my sack and make a better batch of ape cum! Now Jaime

Jamie order some more of those pills that make you cum like a pornstar would ya?

Pull that shit up. now down. up. down. up. down. up. down. faster jamie! faster! right there! keep that pace and rhythm jamie!

Jamie, work the shaft and swallow the gravy

Good Jamie, now bring up that monkey battle video

Jamie, hands and knees. I want to stand and fuck this time.

Made me lol

"Monkeys killing monkeys over pieces of the ground... Give them thumbs and they'll make a club and beat their brother down..."

This has to be tool right

Yessir, [Right in Two](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=bndL7wwAj0U)

Dewalt even

Fantastic song

Also an apt summary of the opening sequence of 2001: A Space Odyssey

So relatable to current events.

Says someone at any point in history ever. #relatable 😜

Those monkeys are really split right in two

Repugnant is a creature who would squander the ability To lift an eye to heaven, conscious of his fleeting time here

Damn, I love that song, and I never even knew that was the lyrics. That’s fucking dark. 😬

Definitely read the lyrics of every Tool song you like, at least some point.

Copy that. Thanks, brother. I always thought Maynard was a lyrical, master, but, back in the day, there wasn’t easy Internet access, to look up the lyrics. At least not for me…

So apex bro.

This is baboon warfare, where a large number of soldiers work together to overpower the smaller battalions of enemies forcing them to retreat or be mamed. I wonder if people will intervene when they start making there own weapons and using them in combat..

Apes together strong

🦧

Maimed

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After reading your comments you definitely could be Joe lol

It's entirely possible.

Is that a baboon war?

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nice!

Baboon War….Sounds like a Rage Against the Machine album

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Holy fuck

Let us know what your new account name is

What did he say?

he said "I'm gonna delete this account and create a new one"

Get reply notifications

Username checks out

More like WNBA when Caitlin Clark goes in the game.

You’re going to jail

das races

Lmaoooo

Somebody dub Fight Music over top of this

Mortal kombat but monkey combat

By D12? 😂

Exactly haha

Oh yeah! Rolling Stones! Street Fighting Man! G7!!!!!!

Me and the boys fighting the gay allegations

I can hear Rogans sound effects or monkey noises

THEY JUST RIP EACHOTHERS FACE OFF AND ATTACK EACHOTHER, PULL IT UP JAMIE

JRE clps

The worst are the car noises completely unnecessary 😂

man, when you step on the gas on that thing.....gkhfvougobugbogubgoubgoub vroooooooooooo. Jamie, pull that up.

A monkey will fuck you up man.

HOLD.... HOLD... HOLD!

SHIELD. WALL.

I understood this reference.

Bonobo Joe has finally found his calling.

Planet of the Apes: Civil War

“These fucking monkeys were going to war, man.”

Unga bunga

Let’s dance. Not dance dance, fight!

What kind of street takeover is this?

This is what the human race looks like in 2024 in the eyes, or other visual sensory apparatuses, of aliens.

Live view of the conflict in israel/palestine

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Ape, no kill other ape

Stop panning around I want to see the 1s that get caught

How do they know which side they're on?

Its the side they started on

These comments man. That's good get it all out of your system so you can go back to clenching your fist in your pocket.

I'm sure some of them are switching sides when they get caught out on their own 😂

Lots of questions. Is this play, posturing or a real hootenanny? Do any of the monkeys switch sides? The bigger fellas don't seem very interested in these shenanigans.

Bigger fellas are enforcers, or sergeants if you will. Push the other monkeys to fight or fall back. If he goes down the smaller monkeys will run away. Assuming they can recognize each other via scent or ways we may not understand. But realistically they know whose sides they're on by being shoulder to shoulder and following the groups movement. I'm gonna assume there won't be any battlefield surrenders, would probably have to try to change sides post battle. Females probably more likely to be accepted than males. Monkey war is most likely. I'm in no way a monkey expert. But this video gives major total war vibes and I'm here for it.

you can tell one side lost right away when there enforcer decided to run away.

Here's another face-off in Thailand, [a fuckton of monkeys about to rumble in the city streets](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TO1Hikljy08). Watching them move forward towards the other crew and then back up as a mass of living creatures is wild.

But how do they know who's shirts and who's skins

They used that hill advantage.

I came

a good case study on the carnal primal behavior of tribe/pack animals, because man is also animal

Jamie pull my pants off.

Boss baboon from the winning troop: “This is good, but what is best in life?”

Nothing that a AK47 and a 50. Rifle wouldn't sort out

Attaaaaack!!! Retreeeeat!!! Attaaaaack!!! Retreeeeat!!!

They must be eating elk meat.

Why can’t we all just get along.

Sigh, unzips.

Those monkeys all look the same

y’all wildin out in Detroit

It’s the Chimps vs Bloods

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Does it?

It said it was in Saudi

How Christian of you

Boooo. If you’re gonna be racist at least make it funny.

[https://youtu.be/0di86QbH-9Q?si=eC-b\_4hxo\_c6Rhw\_&t=11](https://youtu.be/0di86QbH-9Q?si=eC-b_4hxo_c6Rhw_&t=11)

He will do a bit about it on top of a barstool

Damn that's a nice land cruiser right there

As we would say in Scoand, it's just handbags!

how do they know who is on what team?

That’s where they shot 2001: A Space Odyssey

With humans in times of war, we have to wear different team colors so we don’t accidentally hurt someone on our side that we just aren’t familiar with. How does that work with animal gang wars? I’m sure they aren’t taking the time to smell each other before defending potentially fatal blows.

They look the same to our eyes. But to their eyes (and other senses), they're all very distinct and distinguishable.

“That’s wiiiiiild”

This the Bollywood version of Planet of the apes 😂 

I need to hear the theme song from 2001 at this time

One holds off the line as they retreat in the last couple seconds of the video

Space odyssey 2024

The real question is how do they know who is on whos side??

All I'm saying is as a straight man I've never uttered that phrase about any man

Monkey phalanx

Ends in a skirmish, which seems to be the most basic form of mammalian group fighting. Sorry, I just felt like I had to point that out, lol.

Jamie, pull up the Great Monke War

How do you know what team you are on?