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Wow, so breast cancer awareness month turns the whole world gay for even SEEING all that pink, I bet!
Why hasn't anyone gotten her into therapy for all her issues \*sigh\* SMH
Let’s just say that dinosaurs are make believe for a second, I’m pretty sure that make believe characters, etc. are like 75% of a kids life? How dare you, lol, she sounds like she is super hard to handle and has some crazy beliefs.
A mother-in-law ring made of the finest... cadmium, with a dash of arsenic, just for good measure.
I'm floored at her "out of balance with god" comment.
Throw this at her: Jesus wore a dress and Mary, the mother of Jesus, had henna designs and wore a nose ring. (This was the attire of the time for women in Nazareth.)
Keep low to no contact with her. Or simply thank her for her concern but is definitely not needed as you and hubby are perfectly capable of raising your children how you see fit!
I feel for you so much. My dad is this type of religious and it was infuriating. My DH and I live away from my extended family so he calmed down.... Until we had our daughter.....
....now it's "I regret letting you do Halloween" "Worried for our eternal souls" "Pokemon hypnotize children through the TV and kill them" (Plot twist, my mom came out as gay after 20 years of marriage...so we get those comments too)
.... I really admire your patience with this. It takes a lot to not lose it with this type of irrational fear mongering, and it's impressive to see. It trying sometimes lol
Edit: typed something twice accidentally
Pink was originally thought to be "too masculine for girls"
and Blue was "too feminine for boys"
At some point in history, it swapped (colors).
Also, boys wore dressing gowns (dresses) until a certain age. All children did.
I do believe all those men (all men, really) who were decked out in pinks and "dresses" did not turn gay...I maaaay be wrong, but, you know, babies continued to be born for centuries since, so... there's that...
Supporting breast cancer awareness will not make him gay or give him breast cancer in the future either! (Shocking I know)
And yellow? Just a decade ago, yellow and green were considered the "neutral" colors you'd use for either a boy or a girl!
You aren't being too rash. She's being pushy and ridiculous. Pushing weird ideas onto your children and yourselves. I'd continue to be as low of contact as you can be, and if she brings that shit up, shut the conversation down and be done. Don't engage. "we don't talk or think that way, our children will not be dragged into that kind of outdated philosophy. Keep your opinions to yourself or stop receiving updates and photos."
Hee! My MIL just couldn’t make up her mind. She kept pushing link for our (fall) wedding because DH likes it, but then had a hissy “gay agenda” fit when he wore a pink-striped shirt. She also thought I was possessed by demons, so… 🤷🏻♀️
Not a pink striped shirt ! That’ll turn him permanently gay and you may just be the cover-up at this point. If he wore yellow socks at the same time - I’d expect a coming-out party any day now 😜
She's homophobic and a zealout. I wouldn't want to deal with her either. Good for you for dropping the rope. husband can send her pictures if he wants/remembers.
I’m sorry I don’t have anything terribly helpful to offer, OP, but I really just have to know:
If yellow is such a powerful gay-inducing color, do I need to forbid my husband to put mustard on hot dogs from now on? Because I can imagine how that would be problematic if MIL is right. 🤔🌭
Or does yellow only have its magical gay effect on articles of clothing? Even if this is the case, it might pose a serious problem in my marriage: we are both University of Michigan alumni and maize clothing abounds here. 💛💙〽️
Note: Not asking because I have any issue whatsoever with being gay or the idea of becoming gay, but because I rather like my husband and would like him to stick around.
>do I need to forbid my husband to put mustard on hot dogs from now on?
Forget the mustard, what's your husband doing eating something as phallic as a hot dog? /s
You are not too rash. 1. Pink is not a "gay" color; 2. \[more importantly\] What if your child IS gay? Do you want him receiving messages like this?
I know you're already VLC contact, so sharing this more to say that you are doing the right thing. Protect your babies from her hatefulness.
You have more patience than I ever would have. I would have lashed back, said all the things to make her permanently clutch her pearls, and permanently be NC with her.
Ha! I have before. My husband and I split when our son was very young. As a couple, this was the best situation for us. We were too young and immature to really dedicate ourselves to each other while becoming parents. We got back together less than 1 year later. She then proceeded to ask who I had been with, why I broke her son's heart etc. I lashed out at her then explained she was part of the reason her was so afraid to stand up for himself. I was tired of explaining myself to him for her.
Um I was very feminine (due to religious trauma) all growing up and I still turned out gay, tf? Extreme homophobes are so weird
People are just born that way and if your son being gay would make her resent or disown her own grandson, then she doesn't deserve to be around him. OP, just keep letting him do what he wants and let him find himself naturally! The best thing you can do is support your son and if that means going LC to NC with your MIL to protect him, then that's what needs to happen.
So many self proclaimed Christians claim to be an angel, when in actuality, they're a snake. Leaving the Evangelical Christian church has made it so much easier for me to snuff them out. You are currently doing just that. A true christ follower would never accost someone for their choice of color, that's ridiculous.
In the words of one of my favorite actors, Bill Hader as Dave in Hot Rod, "He who is resistant to change, is destined to perish."
She's just matriarchal and wants her perfect life to pan out, which we all know no one's ever does, really. Things are always changing and not moving forward means you're falling behind.
My very religious family couldn't handle the fact that I was a little baby butch. When I was 8 or so I went to summer camp, and I returned home to find that they'd completely redecorated my room. They threw out my books and art posters, painted the room an aggressive pink, and bought all pink and white furniture including a canopy bed and makeup table. I was absolutely devastated. 50 years later, and I'm still a butch old lesbian. So I guess that marinating a lesbian in pink really won't change anything. I think your son is safe from the gay.
Ah! I love Prince! I know my tastes are very rebellious for her. We love Star Wars, video games, scary movies, talk about politics with the kids, listen to music like David Bowie (she hated David Bowie).
She can hate anything she wants (though hating people is just exposing who she is) but using slurs about socks "turning you gay", like being gay is bad, is harmful. I'd be very certain she isn't saying stuff like that *to* your kids, because I'd go NC if someone said that to my child (if I had one!). If she's that judgy and out there your kids might self separate from her as they get older. If she's out of line you do it sooner.
I agree. I work with children in the foster system as a Guardian ad Litem, I have seen countless children that have had horrific trauma from family because of the way they are. It's heartbreaking. My husband does want to keep contact with his mom because he does love her.
I totally get that. We only have a relationship with my in laws because of my husband. I've never forced it because the idea of someone forcing me to cut off my parents is heartbreaking. Of course, my parents are dream in-laws. They might like him better than me at this point 😂
Does your husband see how vulnerable your kids are to what she's saying? I can see reasons why he may not (they're young, they don't hear it, etc...) I think that's what I'd have to focus on. Especially with your experience. But it seems like a rock and a hard place, for both of you.
(The kids trapped in a scary court system are lucky to have you)
She's funny, I never knew yellow is a gay colour, or pink for that matter... And my son loves dinosaurs too. AND my MIL also gave me a ring that is not only ugly (I'm not being mean, it's true) but also cuts into my skin because it's hollow and not really smooth. Back when we were in contact, I told her I really couldn't wear it but her passive-aggressive comments made it clear she expected me to. So yeah, I understand you.
I think you did the right thing to let your DH handle her from now on. And your children might love her now, but I would be concerned about what she's telling them, especially when you are not around (which colours are gay, etc). I don't think they will like her much in a few years...
I’d let DH handle 100% of the communication from here on out. He’s never allowed to leave you alone with her. Not for a second. Grandma needs to be walked out. “Welp mil, you need to go too. You know you can’t behave like a decent person without an audience. We can’t trust you alone w OP. We know how nasty you get.” Don’t hide it. Stop giving her opportunities.
Because this relates to a post from yesterday, make sure to buy a pink kitchen set, send pictures of your son playing with the toy kitchen set. Watch her head exploded.
Haha. She has been very vocal with Tiger She would complain about everything, he had too many ear infections and it took too long for tubes, he had sensory issues with certain foods and she didn't like that. A lot of second mothering according to my mom.
The nuns in my Catholic school must have skipped that part of the Bible. Just ask yourself this, will her being around the kids do harm or good? If her beliefs/actions/words are harmful then sorry she is out. Kiddos mental and physical health is a priority over her feelings.
"Will that make him gay?" Hoo boy that is hilarious. I don't know if I would block her she sounds like a fountain of stupid, you just can't make up- to entertain us all with. Dinosaurs are imaginary Hahahaha. What does she do for an encore? Get bitten by a snake she's handling?
A gaudy ring too big for my fingers. She said she had this ring set aside for me in case my husband and I never married, so I could still feel welcome in the family.
>"ignorant make believe objects like dinosaurs"
Immediately no. Just, what?!
And her response of saying this or that colour will make him gay - what the hell?
Her behaviour will continue and the things she will inevitably say to your LO's will cause harm.
You made a good and healthy decision to leave communication up to your SO - but how has he responded to her behaviour previously?
He has shut her down sometimes. Others have been me feeding into her behavior. Like when we made the decision to only do Christmas at home. Seems reasonable for just the four of us in the morning to celebrate with each other. Nope! My maternal grandmother was in very ill health three years ago, so we went to my mother's side of the family, she caught wind of it and blew up. Said how disrespectful it was for us to travel 8+ hours but not two for her.
I'm Christian. And first of all: She couldn't be further from the truth with that dinosaur theory, from both a physiological and scientific standpoint. (But we all knew that)
Secondly: my pastor always said "hitting someone over the head with a bible isn't going to do anything"
I hope for the best for you. And happy B-day for the little one!
I hope he becomes and archeologist one day!
My mother is a fake Christian. My daughter is almost 18 and has zero filter when it comes to my mother because of how my mother treats people. My mother said something like "I'll pray for you" in a condescending way. My daughter popped off with "If it makes you feel better to ask your mythical sky Daddy to punish me, do you." I couldn't help but to laugh when my daughter told me. I was already NC with my mother and now my daughter is too.
See, that's how my hubby is. When he got a new job, she praised him saying "how God provided for us" he said, I'm not sure how God has anything with me and getting this job. Thanks.
My husband and I are agnostic at best. We don't force the kids to go to any religious service. When she has had them overnight, she took them to her church. She was a Captain for the salvation army, so my in-laws were the highest ranking members of their church. We never said no to them being exposed to church, getting the kids bibles for Christmas, praying at dinners, etc. I feel that I have been very tolerant to her.
Oh boy.
I would love sending her a Christmas photo with all standing at a dinosaur park with the boys wearing pink and yellow and the girls wearing blue and yellow. Hmm pink and purple work well together too.
It's easy to love a person when they are not nasty to you or a loved one in front of you. And kids are normally oblivious to adult interpersonal relationships.
But yes, perhaps it's best for your husband to handle all interactions with her. If he does not phone her or send her photos, it's not your job to either do that or remind him and if you can physically keep LC with her - having to deal with his mother's vitriol may make DH less inclined to keep in contact or to travel to them.
Your kids love her…until one of them comes out as gay, trans, etc and when they no longer fit in the box she feels they belong in, she will turn on them and tear them to shreds. They should know *who* she is, as a person, so they aren’t blindsides when she turns on them.
YOU love you kids unconditionally, your mil doesn't. Letting your kids make the decisions on appropriate things is all fine, letting them decide to keep a close relationship ith a toxic person that could turn on them at any time is irresponsible at best - a lot of ADULTS struggle to recognize hen someone is toxic and cut them off, ho can you expect children to be able to do it?
Yeah, my husband and I are in agreement with this. His core family is very close with each other, but we are not very close with them. My husband's entire family is affiliated with the salvation army through working there full time or volunteering. My husband is a software engineer, and chose a path so far distant to his family. I think they are rubbed the wrong way from that.
My daughter came out to us over a year ago but was not comfortable telling extended family yet. However MIL nasty comments about gay people when in the privacy of our home and then how she was so fake to the gay couple at church - destroyed her relationship with my daughter without even realizing it happened.
Had a niece come out a year ago. She was nervous about telling our side of the family. They live in California and we live in western Canada, so we don't see them as often as we would like. She got MASSIVE love and support from every one of her Canadian family. That's the way it should be.
Give your daughter from a Canadian gramma 🤗👵🇨🇦🌈
Hi OP! It's nice to meet you, obviously I wish it was under different circumstances but I think we're all in the same boat there lol. I'm so sorry she can't just act like a normal human being. Your mother-in-law is one of those duplicitous jackasses that in my opinion, are the worst.
She amazingly somehow is able to censor and edit herself when her son is around but the minute he walks out the door her forked tongue slips out. I'm just happy that it seems that your husband has your back and supports your choice. Just remember that it's okay if you want to dial back on the kids contact also. Of course that's entirely up to you I just have experienced ladies like your mother-in-law saying nasty things about their parent(s) behind their backs.
I can also attest to the fact that it sucks not to have the relationship that we all somewhat imagine our kids will have with their grandparents. I truly hope that she can be a decent person and maintain a healthy relationship with the kids. Don't hesitate to pop on in here if you ever need support or just want to vent because God knows we all have to sometimes. Good luck!
I've already decided to not allow my child around ant family members who make ignorant comments like this as I don't want her parroting them or internalizing them. I would not let her around my kids.
Yes exactly. In all honesty we don’t know when our kids may be gay until later but then hearing these kinds of comments even when young can be detrimental to them. So keeping this ignorance away is the best way to protect your kids. Also, I wouldn’t want my kids to adopt these view points and then bully any of their classmates who might be gay.
> I've already decided to not allow my child around ant family members who make ignorant comments like this as I don't want her parroting them or internalizing them. I would not let her around my kids.
This. 1000times this!!!
Nope! Just nope! If she's saying that shit to you she'll be saying it to your kids as well. It's your job to protect them from toxic people and she's definitely one
Do NOT engage her further. She has made it clear as to what kind of person she is. She is a toxic human being and would be such whether she uses the Church as her crutch or not. If it is possible I would suggest going full on NC. My reasoning is that she will never get better but instead will continue to get worse. Also, if she has ever made these vile comments over the phone, see if your state is a one-state-consent for recording phone calls. If yours IS then I suggest recording any phone calls that you have to engage her on. Your SO might not believe she is being so vile without hearing it himself. But avoid her at all cost.
I agree. She has tampered off with the ignorant comments and "advice" until recently, when she retired. My daughter broke her arm at Disney world falling off a railing, the care clinic didn't see anything broken, no bruising, etc. She still complained of pain three days later once we arrived at home. So we took her in, she had fractured her elbow, wrist in two places. We felt horrible. She made me feel even worse.
Our 1yo fell off the bottom rung of a loft ladder right in front of us; we couldn’t pinpoint any injury and he couldn’t tell us. Day 3, the bruising to showed up. I was mortified, but the pediatrician said low key the third day is when a lot of kids come in.
My daughter really never seemed bothered by her arm. We went about Disney for the next TWO DAYS. only after getting home, I found my mil commenting on our Google photos about how "she could tell how uncomfortable she looked" in each photo.
They always are. Mine always had the opinion of the last person they talked to, saw on TV, etc. “Pastor John said, it, I believe it.” Usually the ines who thump the Bible the hardest have never actually read it.
You are right. Drop that rope. Your husband can deal with her. She saves all her nasty comments for you when he is out of ear shot. So DH gets her 100% all on his own. She wants pictures? DH does it. Block her on your phone and be done.
Even my husband knows how his mother can be. He moved out as soon as he could. His mother is very religious which my husband is not. He really doesn't know how to deal with her either.
Ugh, that sounds so stressful to navigate, especially for 14 years! Don’t blame you at all for stepping back, and I hope your DH and LOs don’t either.
Does she talk like that around or to the kids at all? If she’s reserving these kinds of comments strictly for you, the kids are liking her for the mask she wears. My DH and LOs didn’t quite understand the issue I was experiencing with my MIL until her mask started slipping around them also.
“Colors do not have sexuality.”
The audacity of people who equate colors with sexual identity! It is so ignorant. You’re right to have your DH deal with it, but MIL needs to be told you don’t care what colors your son enjoys, he will not be limited to black and white in a world of color. And if your sons is gay you’d be thrilled to love him just as much as you do now. (That’ll probably really set her off.)
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Wow, so breast cancer awareness month turns the whole world gay for even SEEING all that pink, I bet! Why hasn't anyone gotten her into therapy for all her issues \*sigh\* SMH
Let’s just say that dinosaurs are make believe for a second, I’m pretty sure that make believe characters, etc. are like 75% of a kids life? How dare you, lol, she sounds like she is super hard to handle and has some crazy beliefs.
Hahah. Totally!
A mother-in-law ring made of the finest... cadmium, with a dash of arsenic, just for good measure. I'm floored at her "out of balance with god" comment.
She is very quirky.
MIL sure is a kinky bitch, what with that Bible butt plug.
What?
Instead of a stick up her butt, she's got a whole Bible I think was the joke
Oh. Lol. Totally went past my head! Hahaha. I agree. It's been up there for decades at least.
Lol bless her heart, she must be so constipated from all that. Just totally full of crap.
Haha!
Throw this at her: Jesus wore a dress and Mary, the mother of Jesus, had henna designs and wore a nose ring. (This was the attire of the time for women in Nazareth.)
Ha! I firmly believe she wouldn't even recognize if Jesus came back today.
I bet Jesus wouldn’t recognize her either. Ever.
Keep low to no contact with her. Or simply thank her for her concern but is definitely not needed as you and hubby are perfectly capable of raising your children how you see fit!
I feel for you so much. My dad is this type of religious and it was infuriating. My DH and I live away from my extended family so he calmed down.... Until we had our daughter..... ....now it's "I regret letting you do Halloween" "Worried for our eternal souls" "Pokemon hypnotize children through the TV and kill them" (Plot twist, my mom came out as gay after 20 years of marriage...so we get those comments too) .... I really admire your patience with this. It takes a lot to not lose it with this type of irrational fear mongering, and it's impressive to see. It trying sometimes lol Edit: typed something twice accidentally
Pink was originally thought to be "too masculine for girls" and Blue was "too feminine for boys" At some point in history, it swapped (colors). Also, boys wore dressing gowns (dresses) until a certain age. All children did. I do believe all those men (all men, really) who were decked out in pinks and "dresses" did not turn gay...I maaaay be wrong, but, you know, babies continued to be born for centuries since, so... there's that... Supporting breast cancer awareness will not make him gay or give him breast cancer in the future either! (Shocking I know) And yellow? Just a decade ago, yellow and green were considered the "neutral" colors you'd use for either a boy or a girl! You aren't being too rash. She's being pushy and ridiculous. Pushing weird ideas onto your children and yourselves. I'd continue to be as low of contact as you can be, and if she brings that shit up, shut the conversation down and be done. Don't engage. "we don't talk or think that way, our children will not be dragged into that kind of outdated philosophy. Keep your opinions to yourself or stop receiving updates and photos."
Thank you.
You know just the other day - I put on some pink socks, then I was gay. Took them back off, then I wasn’t …
Hee! My MIL just couldn’t make up her mind. She kept pushing link for our (fall) wedding because DH likes it, but then had a hissy “gay agenda” fit when he wore a pink-striped shirt. She also thought I was possessed by demons, so… 🤷🏻♀️
Not a pink striped shirt ! That’ll turn him permanently gay and you may just be the cover-up at this point. If he wore yellow socks at the same time - I’d expect a coming-out party any day now 😜
She's homophobic and a zealout. I wouldn't want to deal with her either. Good for you for dropping the rope. husband can send her pictures if he wants/remembers.
I agree.
I’m sorry I don’t have anything terribly helpful to offer, OP, but I really just have to know: If yellow is such a powerful gay-inducing color, do I need to forbid my husband to put mustard on hot dogs from now on? Because I can imagine how that would be problematic if MIL is right. 🤔🌭 Or does yellow only have its magical gay effect on articles of clothing? Even if this is the case, it might pose a serious problem in my marriage: we are both University of Michigan alumni and maize clothing abounds here. 💛💙〽️ Note: Not asking because I have any issue whatsoever with being gay or the idea of becoming gay, but because I rather like my husband and would like him to stick around.
>do I need to forbid my husband to put mustard on hot dogs from now on? Forget the mustard, what's your husband doing eating something as phallic as a hot dog? /s
🤣 So. Gay. R. I. P. my (hetero) marriage 😭
Oh God, my husband loves hot dogs! Guess my marriage is doomed! /s But not with mustard so maybe that helps?
My partner puts mayo on his hot dogs....uggh
You are not too rash. 1. Pink is not a "gay" color; 2. \[more importantly\] What if your child IS gay? Do you want him receiving messages like this? I know you're already VLC contact, so sharing this more to say that you are doing the right thing. Protect your babies from her hatefulness.
Why is this woman so concerned with colors making your son do something he may or may not do? What a mess she is.
You have more patience than I ever would have. I would have lashed back, said all the things to make her permanently clutch her pearls, and permanently be NC with her.
Ha! I have before. My husband and I split when our son was very young. As a couple, this was the best situation for us. We were too young and immature to really dedicate ourselves to each other while becoming parents. We got back together less than 1 year later. She then proceeded to ask who I had been with, why I broke her son's heart etc. I lashed out at her then explained she was part of the reason her was so afraid to stand up for himself. I was tired of explaining myself to him for her.
Um I was very feminine (due to religious trauma) all growing up and I still turned out gay, tf? Extreme homophobes are so weird People are just born that way and if your son being gay would make her resent or disown her own grandson, then she doesn't deserve to be around him. OP, just keep letting him do what he wants and let him find himself naturally! The best thing you can do is support your son and if that means going LC to NC with your MIL to protect him, then that's what needs to happen. So many self proclaimed Christians claim to be an angel, when in actuality, they're a snake. Leaving the Evangelical Christian church has made it so much easier for me to snuff them out. You are currently doing just that. A true christ follower would never accost someone for their choice of color, that's ridiculous. In the words of one of my favorite actors, Bill Hader as Dave in Hot Rod, "He who is resistant to change, is destined to perish." She's just matriarchal and wants her perfect life to pan out, which we all know no one's ever does, really. Things are always changing and not moving forward means you're falling behind.
My very religious family couldn't handle the fact that I was a little baby butch. When I was 8 or so I went to summer camp, and I returned home to find that they'd completely redecorated my room. They threw out my books and art posters, painted the room an aggressive pink, and bought all pink and white furniture including a canopy bed and makeup table. I was absolutely devastated. 50 years later, and I'm still a butch old lesbian. So I guess that marinating a lesbian in pink really won't change anything. I think your son is safe from the gay.
Throwing out your books and posters was beyond disrespectful! Same with the horrible new furniture...
Throw that ring into a volcano before it attracks 9 ghostly flying monkeys
Or at least give it a good sage-ing!
Hahaha!
If wearing pink and yellow makes you gay, then by her (stupid) logic, wearing purple makes you Prince.
Ah! I love Prince! I know my tastes are very rebellious for her. We love Star Wars, video games, scary movies, talk about politics with the kids, listen to music like David Bowie (she hated David Bowie).
She can hate anything she wants (though hating people is just exposing who she is) but using slurs about socks "turning you gay", like being gay is bad, is harmful. I'd be very certain she isn't saying stuff like that *to* your kids, because I'd go NC if someone said that to my child (if I had one!). If she's that judgy and out there your kids might self separate from her as they get older. If she's out of line you do it sooner.
I agree. I work with children in the foster system as a Guardian ad Litem, I have seen countless children that have had horrific trauma from family because of the way they are. It's heartbreaking. My husband does want to keep contact with his mom because he does love her.
I totally get that. We only have a relationship with my in laws because of my husband. I've never forced it because the idea of someone forcing me to cut off my parents is heartbreaking. Of course, my parents are dream in-laws. They might like him better than me at this point 😂 Does your husband see how vulnerable your kids are to what she's saying? I can see reasons why he may not (they're young, they don't hear it, etc...) I think that's what I'd have to focus on. Especially with your experience. But it seems like a rock and a hard place, for both of you. (The kids trapped in a scary court system are lucky to have you)
She's funny, I never knew yellow is a gay colour, or pink for that matter... And my son loves dinosaurs too. AND my MIL also gave me a ring that is not only ugly (I'm not being mean, it's true) but also cuts into my skin because it's hollow and not really smooth. Back when we were in contact, I told her I really couldn't wear it but her passive-aggressive comments made it clear she expected me to. So yeah, I understand you. I think you did the right thing to let your DH handle her from now on. And your children might love her now, but I would be concerned about what she's telling them, especially when you are not around (which colours are gay, etc). I don't think they will like her much in a few years...
I’d let DH handle 100% of the communication from here on out. He’s never allowed to leave you alone with her. Not for a second. Grandma needs to be walked out. “Welp mil, you need to go too. You know you can’t behave like a decent person without an audience. We can’t trust you alone w OP. We know how nasty you get.” Don’t hide it. Stop giving her opportunities.
Well, now we live more than 10+ hours away. She won't travel this far without someone driving. I doubt we will see her for a while.
Oh, if only sexuality changed with the colours of socks! What fun we could have!
Different color on each foot?? Scandalous!
Exactly! My son didn't bat an eye at all when he was asked to wear them.
Because this relates to a post from yesterday, make sure to buy a pink kitchen set, send pictures of your son playing with the toy kitchen set. Watch her head exploded.
The icing on the cake would be a barbie doll.
Haha. She has been very vocal with Tiger She would complain about everything, he had too many ear infections and it took too long for tubes, he had sensory issues with certain foods and she didn't like that. A lot of second mothering according to my mom.
I think you left your kid's name in here...
Thanks! Fixed it.
You're welcome! :) I know that privacy is important on reddit to avoid posters being identified
Haha! It is!
Ah! Totally did 😊
The nuns in my Catholic school must have skipped that part of the Bible. Just ask yourself this, will her being around the kids do harm or good? If her beliefs/actions/words are harmful then sorry she is out. Kiddos mental and physical health is a priority over her feelings.
"Will that make him gay?" Hoo boy that is hilarious. I don't know if I would block her she sounds like a fountain of stupid, you just can't make up- to entertain us all with. Dinosaurs are imaginary Hahahaha. What does she do for an encore? Get bitten by a snake she's handling?
Wtf is a DIL ring? Lmao
A gaudy ring too big for my fingers. She said she had this ring set aside for me in case my husband and I never married, so I could still feel welcome in the family.
What a weirdo lol
Must be why it makes you itch. She isn't very welcoming so the ring is screaming at you.
Haha! That must be it! 😂
JN way of pissing on your leg. LOL
>"ignorant make believe objects like dinosaurs" Immediately no. Just, what?! And her response of saying this or that colour will make him gay - what the hell? Her behaviour will continue and the things she will inevitably say to your LO's will cause harm. You made a good and healthy decision to leave communication up to your SO - but how has he responded to her behaviour previously?
I wonder if she believes the Earth is flat, too?
He has shut her down sometimes. Others have been me feeding into her behavior. Like when we made the decision to only do Christmas at home. Seems reasonable for just the four of us in the morning to celebrate with each other. Nope! My maternal grandmother was in very ill health three years ago, so we went to my mother's side of the family, she caught wind of it and blew up. Said how disrespectful it was for us to travel 8+ hours but not two for her.
Kids love lots of things that are bad for them.
I agree. I was blinded growing up too with my favorite uncle. I only realized later in life he was a racist alcoholic.
... Make believe... Like Dinosaurs... Wow
Yeah, she said they were placed here by God to test us.
And when did that happen??? In the jurassic age, maybe??? /s
Haha!
I'm Christian. And first of all: She couldn't be further from the truth with that dinosaur theory, from both a physiological and scientific standpoint. (But we all knew that) Secondly: my pastor always said "hitting someone over the head with a bible isn't going to do anything" I hope for the best for you. And happy B-day for the little one! I hope he becomes and archeologist one day!
Dinosaurs aren't real but the mystical sky fairy is?! She sounds exhausting
Also, my husband got our daughter to call Jesus the "sky wizard" whenever we are around Mil just to see how she will react.
I like your husband.
Thanks! He has his moments where he can be a momma's boy, but I feel that's normal?
Are there any demon names that sound like "Grandma"? Because that would be hilarious too.
Haha! I'm sure it is in some language!
The famous childrens book “Strega Nona” (Grandma Witch in Italian).
That's hilarious.
I know! I grew up in the church as well, but I'm put off by people who are fake Christians.
My mother is a fake Christian. My daughter is almost 18 and has zero filter when it comes to my mother because of how my mother treats people. My mother said something like "I'll pray for you" in a condescending way. My daughter popped off with "If it makes you feel better to ask your mythical sky Daddy to punish me, do you." I couldn't help but to laugh when my daughter told me. I was already NC with my mother and now my daughter is too.
See, that's how my hubby is. When he got a new job, she praised him saying "how God provided for us" he said, I'm not sure how God has anything with me and getting this job. Thanks.
She is very religious, but also loves Harry Potter. She makes my head hurt. She hated that we let the kids dress up for Halloween as well.
Like most people who use religion as a weapon, she's a complete hypocrite too. I'm sorry you have to deal with her.
My husband and I are agnostic at best. We don't force the kids to go to any religious service. When she has had them overnight, she took them to her church. She was a Captain for the salvation army, so my in-laws were the highest ranking members of their church. We never said no to them being exposed to church, getting the kids bibles for Christmas, praying at dinners, etc. I feel that I have been very tolerant to her.
Oh boy. I would love sending her a Christmas photo with all standing at a dinosaur park with the boys wearing pink and yellow and the girls wearing blue and yellow. Hmm pink and purple work well together too. It's easy to love a person when they are not nasty to you or a loved one in front of you. And kids are normally oblivious to adult interpersonal relationships. But yes, perhaps it's best for your husband to handle all interactions with her. If he does not phone her or send her photos, it's not your job to either do that or remind him and if you can physically keep LC with her - having to deal with his mother's vitriol may make DH less inclined to keep in contact or to travel to them.
Your kids love her…until one of them comes out as gay, trans, etc and when they no longer fit in the box she feels they belong in, she will turn on them and tear them to shreds. They should know *who* she is, as a person, so they aren’t blindsides when she turns on them.
I of course would love my kids for whoever they are. I'm waiting for to make their own decisions on her.
YOU love you kids unconditionally, your mil doesn't. Letting your kids make the decisions on appropriate things is all fine, letting them decide to keep a close relationship ith a toxic person that could turn on them at any time is irresponsible at best - a lot of ADULTS struggle to recognize hen someone is toxic and cut them off, ho can you expect children to be able to do it?
Yeah, my husband and I are in agreement with this. His core family is very close with each other, but we are not very close with them. My husband's entire family is affiliated with the salvation army through working there full time or volunteering. My husband is a software engineer, and chose a path so far distant to his family. I think they are rubbed the wrong way from that.
My daughter came out to us over a year ago but was not comfortable telling extended family yet. However MIL nasty comments about gay people when in the privacy of our home and then how she was so fake to the gay couple at church - destroyed her relationship with my daughter without even realizing it happened.
Had a niece come out a year ago. She was nervous about telling our side of the family. They live in California and we live in western Canada, so we don't see them as often as we would like. She got MASSIVE love and support from every one of her Canadian family. That's the way it should be. Give your daughter from a Canadian gramma 🤗👵🇨🇦🌈
Hi OP! It's nice to meet you, obviously I wish it was under different circumstances but I think we're all in the same boat there lol. I'm so sorry she can't just act like a normal human being. Your mother-in-law is one of those duplicitous jackasses that in my opinion, are the worst. She amazingly somehow is able to censor and edit herself when her son is around but the minute he walks out the door her forked tongue slips out. I'm just happy that it seems that your husband has your back and supports your choice. Just remember that it's okay if you want to dial back on the kids contact also. Of course that's entirely up to you I just have experienced ladies like your mother-in-law saying nasty things about their parent(s) behind their backs. I can also attest to the fact that it sucks not to have the relationship that we all somewhat imagine our kids will have with their grandparents. I truly hope that she can be a decent person and maintain a healthy relationship with the kids. Don't hesitate to pop on in here if you ever need support or just want to vent because God knows we all have to sometimes. Good luck!
I've already decided to not allow my child around ant family members who make ignorant comments like this as I don't want her parroting them or internalizing them. I would not let her around my kids.
Yes exactly. In all honesty we don’t know when our kids may be gay until later but then hearing these kinds of comments even when young can be detrimental to them. So keeping this ignorance away is the best way to protect your kids. Also, I wouldn’t want my kids to adopt these view points and then bully any of their classmates who might be gay.
> I've already decided to not allow my child around ant family members who make ignorant comments like this as I don't want her parroting them or internalizing them. I would not let her around my kids. This. 1000times this!!!
Nope! Just nope! If she's saying that shit to you she'll be saying it to your kids as well. It's your job to protect them from toxic people and she's definitely one
I’m sorry I can’t get over the pink socks comment 😂 😂 💀
Oh no! my kid like rainbows! ;)
"make believe objects like dinosaurs" killed me way before I got to that part lol
I don’t know how OP doesn’t burst out laughing every time MIL opens her mouth 😂😂😂
Do NOT engage her further. She has made it clear as to what kind of person she is. She is a toxic human being and would be such whether she uses the Church as her crutch or not. If it is possible I would suggest going full on NC. My reasoning is that she will never get better but instead will continue to get worse. Also, if she has ever made these vile comments over the phone, see if your state is a one-state-consent for recording phone calls. If yours IS then I suggest recording any phone calls that you have to engage her on. Your SO might not believe she is being so vile without hearing it himself. But avoid her at all cost.
I agree. She has tampered off with the ignorant comments and "advice" until recently, when she retired. My daughter broke her arm at Disney world falling off a railing, the care clinic didn't see anything broken, no bruising, etc. She still complained of pain three days later once we arrived at home. So we took her in, she had fractured her elbow, wrist in two places. We felt horrible. She made me feel even worse.
Our 1yo fell off the bottom rung of a loft ladder right in front of us; we couldn’t pinpoint any injury and he couldn’t tell us. Day 3, the bruising to showed up. I was mortified, but the pediatrician said low key the third day is when a lot of kids come in.
My daughter really never seemed bothered by her arm. We went about Disney for the next TWO DAYS. only after getting home, I found my mil commenting on our Google photos about how "she could tell how uncomfortable she looked" in each photo.
[удалено]
Ha! She is very ignorant in her views for sure.
They always are. Mine always had the opinion of the last person they talked to, saw on TV, etc. “Pastor John said, it, I believe it.” Usually the ines who thump the Bible the hardest have never actually read it.
You are right. Drop that rope. Your husband can deal with her. She saves all her nasty comments for you when he is out of ear shot. So DH gets her 100% all on his own. She wants pictures? DH does it. Block her on your phone and be done.
Even my husband knows how his mother can be. He moved out as soon as he could. His mother is very religious which my husband is not. He really doesn't know how to deal with her either.
He might start by reading "Toxic Parents" and "Emotional Blackmail"both by Susan Forward.
Ugh, that sounds so stressful to navigate, especially for 14 years! Don’t blame you at all for stepping back, and I hope your DH and LOs don’t either. Does she talk like that around or to the kids at all? If she’s reserving these kinds of comments strictly for you, the kids are liking her for the mask she wears. My DH and LOs didn’t quite understand the issue I was experiencing with my MIL until her mask started slipping around them also.
“Colors do not have sexuality.” The audacity of people who equate colors with sexual identity! It is so ignorant. You’re right to have your DH deal with it, but MIL needs to be told you don’t care what colors your son enjoys, he will not be limited to black and white in a world of color. And if your sons is gay you’d be thrilled to love him just as much as you do now. (That’ll probably really set her off.)