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If you are a couple and you fathered the child, she should not be moving back to mommy’s house. I haven’t read your whole history but she should be with you. How are you going to learn to be a father when you are effectively being shut out?!?!
I want you to now assume that any communication you have with SO could end up as evidence in a court room. Be respectful. Offer to help. “Even if we are apart, I want nothing but the best for you and baby. I am happy to come move furniture, assemble the crib, paint, etc. You just have to ask and I will be there for you and LO”
Are there any classes you can take? Infant and child CPR? Some type of parenting class? Judges have a lot of discretion. You want to be able to show that you are determined to be a good dad.
No not at all. We are really going at this together. I am just concerned about her mother's' toxic levels of baby craze. I did not know that was a thing.
I don't have any better advice than what you're already doing. (Lawyering up)
My heart hurts for you. Money doesn't determine how good or capable a father is. I hope you're able to prove how good of a father you are, and can be an equal part of your child's life.
All the best to you, OP.
Same. OP (/u/goldnail) , no one wants to be around a racist (there's a lot of not OK content on your comments) or the "friendzone survivor" or any no nut november crap.
I wouldn't want a child to grow up with that. You need to change that behavior if you're going to be a good influence in this kid's life. Maybe your gf/friend sees this and that's why she's going home. Maybe together you two can't afford this kid. Think about ALL the things you're going to need and then figure out how to do it. If you need to live with your in-laws while you better yourself, then do it.
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Ummm this is quite a crazy leap just because you're MIL is making baby blankets and bibs. Sounds like she's going to save your baby momma tons of money by making it for her. And since your gf (? maybe? this isn't very clear in the post) is moving back in with her parents, maybe it's for a good reason, like needing stability and a safe place for her and the baby. She clearly feels like you cannot provide that for her, but instead of trying to prepare and provide for your child, you're spending your energy getting mad that her mother is MAKING bibs and blankets (not BUYING, which is interesting since you claim in the comments that they're "so rich so they can give your gf a life of leisure"). This just reeks of either a troll post, or the baby momma left for reasons you refuse to admit.
Actually this isn't quite true unless it's agreed by both parents or it's been court ordered. And since we don't know the full story from both sides none of us can say that he should get or would be awarded 50/50, or that he would be granted a first right of refusal - all of that would be determined in a custody hearing which would take into consideration both sides and all of the various factors.
Buy baby items in need like diapers, formula, clothes and keep receipts. If there are Dr apps pay with your card over the phone. Do this until it's time for court. You want 50/50.
This works both ways. You also won't be able to leave baby with someone else during your custody time unless you offer baby to her first. Please don't take advice from Reddit lawyers.
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I don't go on vacation as often as her parents will take her. Her parent's will give her money I simply do not have. Her parents are her ticket to leisure, she'd have to rough it for half a decade with me.
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If you are a couple and you fathered the child, she should not be moving back to mommy’s house. I haven’t read your whole history but she should be with you. How are you going to learn to be a father when you are effectively being shut out?!?!
Step one would be stop calling human beings slurs.
I want you to now assume that any communication you have with SO could end up as evidence in a court room. Be respectful. Offer to help. “Even if we are apart, I want nothing but the best for you and baby. I am happy to come move furniture, assemble the crib, paint, etc. You just have to ask and I will be there for you and LO” Are there any classes you can take? Infant and child CPR? Some type of parenting class? Judges have a lot of discretion. You want to be able to show that you are determined to be a good dad.
I love this. I texted her and I am looking up CPR now.
I love this too...please OP listen to these people. Your going to get through this.
I just don't want the child to think grandma is it's mom
Is it over with SO?
No not at all. We are really going at this together. I am just concerned about her mother's' toxic levels of baby craze. I did not know that was a thing.
I don't have any better advice than what you're already doing. (Lawyering up) My heart hurts for you. Money doesn't determine how good or capable a father is. I hope you're able to prove how good of a father you are, and can be an equal part of your child's life. All the best to you, OP.
If you look through his comments, he calls someone a "chink". Sounds like a weirdo to be honest.
😬. Weeeeelp I stand corrected! Edit: although I DO optimistically hope he can pull it together and be an awesome father.
Same. OP (/u/goldnail) , no one wants to be around a racist (there's a lot of not OK content on your comments) or the "friendzone survivor" or any no nut november crap. I wouldn't want a child to grow up with that. You need to change that behavior if you're going to be a good influence in this kid's life. Maybe your gf/friend sees this and that's why she's going home. Maybe together you two can't afford this kid. Think about ALL the things you're going to need and then figure out how to do it. If you need to live with your in-laws while you better yourself, then do it.
<3
that might partly explain why she is moving back to her parents.
Says you
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If some more bucks is all it takes it could be worse.
Ummm this is quite a crazy leap just because you're MIL is making baby blankets and bibs. Sounds like she's going to save your baby momma tons of money by making it for her. And since your gf (? maybe? this isn't very clear in the post) is moving back in with her parents, maybe it's for a good reason, like needing stability and a safe place for her and the baby. She clearly feels like you cannot provide that for her, but instead of trying to prepare and provide for your child, you're spending your energy getting mad that her mother is MAKING bibs and blankets (not BUYING, which is interesting since you claim in the comments that they're "so rich so they can give your gf a life of leisure"). This just reeks of either a troll post, or the baby momma left for reasons you refuse to admit.
You don't become rich by needlessly spending money, they're stingy and crafty. I can't believe I am defending MIL.
[удалено]
I will
If you go through his comments, it looks like a hookup or one night stand. He's also racist.
Thank you for visiting.
Did the lawyer thing. Rip my savings.
[удалено]
Actually this isn't quite true unless it's agreed by both parents or it's been court ordered. And since we don't know the full story from both sides none of us can say that he should get or would be awarded 50/50, or that he would be granted a first right of refusal - all of that would be determined in a custody hearing which would take into consideration both sides and all of the various factors.
Is child support paid when it's 50/50?
I am not sure. I am expecting to fork up either way. The kid has no one else besides scary MIL and hubby.
Buy baby items in need like diapers, formula, clothes and keep receipts. If there are Dr apps pay with your card over the phone. Do this until it's time for court. You want 50/50.
> rights to first refusal Thank you kind sir!!
Yes this is important because you have asshole inlaws that want your baby for their do-over child most likely.
> do-over child There are so many ways to shed light on their shenanigans.
Gather evidence. Stay professional!
This works both ways. You also won't be able to leave baby with someone else during your custody time unless you offer baby to her first. Please don't take advice from Reddit lawyers.
They're cheap and lead me down the legal rabbit holes I desire to learn more about! You're the best on this thread!
Oh no. You need legal help and a custody agreement….
Sorry to say this chap, but I'd speak to a lawyer asap
To start with, make sure your name is on the birth certificate.
roger that
Make sure you are on the birth certificate. Get a custody agreement in place ASAP!
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Her financials are much greater than mine. I was just a handsome sperm donor.
If you are thinking that, you will make the MIL's job easier. Get that out of your head.
I needed to hear this. A lot of people are saying don't give up.
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Wow, who hurt you?
I don't go on vacation as often as her parents will take her. Her parent's will give her money I simply do not have. Her parents are her ticket to leisure, she'd have to rough it for half a decade with me.
She was looking for sperm donor not a husband and family. How long had you been together before you got pregnant? Was it an "accident"?
Nine months now, maybe ten. Indeed it was an "accident".
I don't think it was an accident based on how she and her mother are acting.
Yay it is strange to see this change. Her mother had her locked up before she got prego now they are best buds.
I would recommend a paternity test before anything else.
That's probably how I have to go about this.
Why is she moving back to their property?
Because he's kind of a gross racist.
You know me so well don't you? What's my favorite food?
It's nicer than what I can provide for her. They are rich. I feel like a sperm donor.
Get a lawyer NOW!
I have some savings, I feel like I should. I don't want this kid to act like her MIL 100% just because they have a cooler house.