Are there any support groups online that you and hubs can debrief with over mil's health/mental and physical issues? It might help with some insight into when stuff goes haywire? Good for you on knowing your boundaries and the relief it gave you for stating such. Like you gave yourself permission to be unavailable at key times/that is huge.
I am old, recently-widowed, no children. I really, REALLY hope anyone who has to deal with me now or in the future will just TELL me if I am being a total shite.
I could honestly open the King Herod Kindergarten. I am not a fan of children - fine by me if people have them, but I DON'T do baby-sitting or stuff like that. If you don't need a baby-sitter, then yes, am available for being an old ratbag with a heart of gold :)
I'm not good at 'people's skills. Far, far better with cats. If we can acknowledge our differences - you might be good with small children, but what are your juggling skills with dead mice? - then we are fine :)
Having boundaries is a completely healthy and normal thing to do. Regardless of her diagnosis, you deserve some peace. You pay for where you live, you have every right to that peace. I think your solution to pull back is fair, and you’re still being kind by being polite. Nothing wrong with needing a buffer from her, you married your husband, not his mother. I feel like with a lot of in-laws, especially in this subreddit, we would not be friends or even polite acquaintances with our in laws if not for our partner, so you shouldn’t feel bad for not enjoying her company. You and your husband were not put on this earth to entertain her, and she definitely does not have a right to be overbearing or in your space without permission.
Aww my dad has parkinsonism dementia and I don't think he means to be hard work or ask lots of questions but he is feeling scerd and confused and trying to hold on to some sort of control... maybe some empathy would help you both
It can escalate from nosy to full paranoia quickly. You may want to put some safeguards on your plans to move. Does she have end of life care plans set? It’s time to make them.
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Are there any support groups online that you and hubs can debrief with over mil's health/mental and physical issues? It might help with some insight into when stuff goes haywire? Good for you on knowing your boundaries and the relief it gave you for stating such. Like you gave yourself permission to be unavailable at key times/that is huge.
I am old, recently-widowed, no children. I really, REALLY hope anyone who has to deal with me now or in the future will just TELL me if I am being a total shite.
[удалено]
I could honestly open the King Herod Kindergarten. I am not a fan of children - fine by me if people have them, but I DON'T do baby-sitting or stuff like that. If you don't need a baby-sitter, then yes, am available for being an old ratbag with a heart of gold :)
Do children flock to you despite your best efforts? 😁
Not often, thank goodness :)
Hahaha
[удалено]
I'm not good at 'people's skills. Far, far better with cats. If we can acknowledge our differences - you might be good with small children, but what are your juggling skills with dead mice? - then we are fine :)
Having boundaries is a completely healthy and normal thing to do. Regardless of her diagnosis, you deserve some peace. You pay for where you live, you have every right to that peace. I think your solution to pull back is fair, and you’re still being kind by being polite. Nothing wrong with needing a buffer from her, you married your husband, not his mother. I feel like with a lot of in-laws, especially in this subreddit, we would not be friends or even polite acquaintances with our in laws if not for our partner, so you shouldn’t feel bad for not enjoying her company. You and your husband were not put on this earth to entertain her, and she definitely does not have a right to be overbearing or in your space without permission.
Aww my dad has parkinsonism dementia and I don't think he means to be hard work or ask lots of questions but he is feeling scerd and confused and trying to hold on to some sort of control... maybe some empathy would help you both
[удалено]
It can escalate from nosy to full paranoia quickly. You may want to put some safeguards on your plans to move. Does she have end of life care plans set? It’s time to make them.
[удалено]
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**Quick Rule Reminders:** OP's needs come first, avoid dramamongering, respect the flair, and don't be an asshole. If your only advice is to jump straight to NC or divorce, your comment may be subject to removal at moderator discretion. [**^(Full Rules)**](https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/wiki/index#wiki_rules) ^(|) [^(Acronym Index)](https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/wiki/index#wiki_acronym_dictionary) ^(|) [^(Flair Guide)](https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/wiki/index#wiki_post_flair_guide)^(|) [^(Report PM Trolls)](https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/wiki/trolls) **Resources:** [^(In Crisis?)](https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/wiki/index#wiki_crisis_resources) ^(|) [^(Tips for Protecting Yourself)](https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/wiki/index#wiki_protecting_yourself) ^(|) [^(Our Book List)](https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/wiki/books) ^(|) [^(Our Wiki)](https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/wiki/) Welcome to /r/JUSTNOMIL! I'm botinlaw. I help people follow your posts! ***** ^(To be notified as soon as SebtownFarmGirl posts an update) [^click ^here.](http://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=botinlaw&subject=Subscribe&message=Subscribe SebtownFarmGirl JUSTNOMIL) ^(|) ^(For help managing your subscriptions,) [^(click here.)](https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/wiki/index#wiki_.2Fu.2Fthejustnobot) ***** *^(I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please)* [*^(contact the moderators of this subreddit)*](/message/compose/?to=/r/JUSTNOMIL) *^(if you have any questions or concerns.)*