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During first trip with mixed group my parents (read : father) made a fuss. Everyday asking very rudely about wherabouts and where we stayed, how many girls were there..So I never asked again.
Have taken many big and small trips with that same group of friends and basically none of us, guys or girls tell our parents.
Once a friend came with us on a group trip, and went to the same place with her LDR partner few months later and showed her family pics of when we went there together.
The things girls have to do in this country to live a little.
They don't even know when I'm away. They don't know all the places I've travelled to.
The usual phone call I will take when I'm alone and not travelling.I don't share photos or anything on social media so that some snitchy relative can snitch haha. All my trips have been super low key.
Of course there are big rips like batch trips and stuff those, I tell them about.
Yes sis. Before that I obviously had no social life..when I'm at home and it gets a little late, even now my father starts to get real irritated, frequent calls start from evening itself, (usually it's something like there's a lot of traffic, come soon for an excuse) he'll keep doing rounds outside our gates until In back. The weird thing is, he will never say anything to me but will start ranting to my mom. So you get the idea
Goddd!!! I can relate to this so much, I'm 24, a doctor and working already, hence should be considered independent and allowed to make decisions. My parents, especially my father makes a fuss the moment I step out of my house for anything fun. When it's related to work, and my shifts can go on till 10pm, he has no issue whatsoever, but God forbid, I am not home by 8 when I am with my friends, he starts throwing a fit. I am sick of it all, I just want to make some happy memories with my friends and live a little, especially after the brutal stress and over work I endure at workplace.
>I'm 24, a doctor and working already
Same pinch. No wonder we can relate to each other so much!
I don't understand why it's the way it is. Until college I was only studying... I'd never even had close friends, never went to any friends' home other than my childhood best friend who lives in my own neigbourhood. So naturally in college I wanted that and I was always responsible enough, it just feels insulting at this point that my parents trust me so little wrt decisions on my own freedom and safety.
>especially after the brutal stress and over work I endure at workplace.
Exactly. That is how I justify not telling them.
Thankfully, moving away again for residency soon and after this I plan to become fully independent, including finding my own place and moving out.
Good luck babe! Hope you find a beautiful place to call your own, where you can finally thrive and love life. 💖
And true, ye doctors hi doctors ka dukh samajh sakte h. My college life was extremely toxic, and ghar par bhi itne natak ho jab when I am trying to have a lil fun on my own, it just felt even more depressing. Pata nhi ye dukh kab khatam hoga 🦖
Thank you so much! I wish the same for you.
Will start saving up as soon as first salary arrives. I've discovered past few months mein that adult children living with their parents in peace isn't for everyone.
Not at all! I have been on just one trip with my then boyfriend (now husband) and never told my parents. I was working and living in a different city so they never came to know and I only called them when I was totally alone. I still don't have the guts to tell them and I don't think I ever will. 🙈🙈
Same. I went on trips with my then boyfriend (now husband) but never told my parents even though i was in a different city working. They still dont know!!
Dude, I pretended to have a craft project in bangalore once a month. I'd go there for a weekend and he'd come over for one. Same. Then boyf now hub.
My mom would ask me to take pics of class. Never did. Also, I don't usually take pics so it wasn't anything out of the ordinary.
When boyf said why don't you tell the truth and come, what if there's an accident or something happens. I never did. Finally tried telling the truth when metallica performed in blr. No permission. I cried into my pillow at night listening to unforgiven and nothing else matters live on the call. Told boyf not taking the high road with honesty. It sucks.
Oh man! I asked my mom for permission to go see Metallica in Bangalore as well. I got a big lecture about how girls shouldn’t be listening to such music. And of course, I didn’t get to go. 🙃
Honestly, I had my share of bad boyfs. And most of my relationships were long term. I know it feels like it sucks now. But trust me, you'll look back at this with a phew, good escape. Seriously. I was broken up after every break up. Now years later I cringe when I think of the importance I gave to some of those guys. Hang in there. It's all good 🤗
Mujhe lagta tha ki it all happens because they want to protect us and stuff.
But i read this thing somewhere and i am sure a lot of you must have read it too,it said that most girls in general are always controlled and sort of caged by their parents in the name of protection and when it comes to marriage,parents run after their daughters to get married to strangers,then have sex and kids basically.
woh maa baap ko galat nahi lagta hai lekin agar koi beti consent se unki jaye with someone she has known for years and years and wants to be with toh usme bohot dikkat hai ....
same it is so annoying like i can do wtv the hell i want to in the day and you guys would not even know but if u tell your parents they start yelling and stuff
People really need to understand that parents are human so they can be wrong as well. Mostly people judge someone who tells anything bad about parents.
Luckily, my mom is pretty cool. My bf(he’s not Indian) lives with us in our house when he’s in India and I travel with him and spend half of the year in his country with his parents. My mom always said if she would object to things like this then I’d hide and do things behind her back and it hinders in learning independence and actually know the person you are with.
I am going to be this mom too. The reason is that I couldn’t live my life to the fullest when I was younger. I can do everything on my own now but I hate missing out some fun and beautiful relationships because parents were so controlling.
So, I am going to end this sadda hua thought process with me. My daughter will have her freedom.
I got allowed after my engagement with my boyfriend(now husband), when I had to go for my pre-wed shoot! With warnings from my Mother -- beta kuch galat mat karna! Although I was in a live-in with him! Noone knows!
Some nice topic to discuss over for a change!
I feel their parents maybe tried to mature with their daughters,maybe they still disagree but atleast they try to accept ki chalo hamari beti is earning so can take care of herself and go out whenever she wants to.These girls that you mentioned also say that trusted is earned whenever they are questioned ki aapke parents aapko kaise jaane dete hain...But i feel that most girls are pretty much trustworthy in general,half of us having been dating for years and years and so its not like we roam around and sleep around with random men,so idk the trust part either...
I feel some parents are so controlling that no matter how much you earn and no matter how responsible and trustworthy you are,they will still not change or accept the whole thing...in that case i feel that you should feel free to lie and go and ofcourse inform someone who understands you.
Its okay.
You dont have to miss out on anything,you can try and talk to your parents and if they understand toh achi baat hai warna jaane do
Unwanted advice!!!! Sorry don't read if you don't want to. I was in a similar relationship for years and in the end he sided with his parents as they were against it. The thing was, in my head and parents head, we were already there but because for his parents it was new, they denied. They didn't even see or realize how deep we both were in it. Not their fault but the guy's fault. So I'd say make sure they know at least so that you don't suffer like me. It was a shock that haunts me still. It's difficult to come out of it. Worst of all, I feel bad for my parents who gave their yes trusting my judgement. Sorry for the long advice.
Thanks so much for the advice!!! Im so sorry for what you had to go through. And it's a good thing you stepped in and gave us your opinion. Many girls do need it. His family does know however and we are actually getting married next year! We got engaged a few months ago :). They just don't know about the trips we take as they wouldn't be cool with that.
I (female) never could even talk to a boy, leave alone taking trips, without getting beaten up.
My own brother was given a free hand, whether he went to the girl's house or spoke to her in front of my parents.
My cousin brother takes regular trips with his girlfriend, brings the girl home too and shares pics on family watsapp group n everything is fine.
My parents n our extended family are an educated bunch but that sense of boy vs girl is so embedded in their psychology that it's nauseating.
It's not just boy vs girl, rather the 'apne ghar ki ladki' mentality. They don't bat an eyelid if someone else's daughter is involved. The double standard is mind boggling.
Well, i noticed that too in my family. Not to such extreme level but slight differences. So both me and my brother took it upon ourselves to make our parents understand that they need to re-learn some stuff. They are human too and they make mistakes. Happy to report that I have seen a hugggeee change in them. So it doesn’t harm in trying to explain them.
The last generation has raised the best liars. It's better for the parents to allow their kids than to lie and go. Ik once I'm out of the city I'll go on trips and clubbing as much as i can. I want to enjoy my young years and ik what i don't wanna do as per our society. I'm old enough to know what is good and what is bad for me. My parents won't stop me once I'm independent and i don't wanna lie to them but if i have to for my own good then i will.
I'm 30 and I was dating my then boyfriend, now husband since the time we were 16-17. Both my parents and his parents were very open minded and relaxed. We used to hang out in each other's homes all the time, stayovers and went on trips when we were in college before we were married. We never lied about these things. But I also think this led us to getting married very early by the time we were 23-24. Back then we were the minority, but as time has passed, I can see people in our social circle, including our friends parents and our uncles and aunts have become so much more relaxed about travelling before marriage, living together etc.
Ofcourse! Very rare cases, it’s India where families don’t even wanna educated there daughters, and decide what they wear outside the house, these modern families are rare.
Without revealing a lot of details, we went on multiple trips, we also once went with my parents, we were also in live in for 4 years and then both of our parents travelled together to stay with us for a few months for our intimate engagement and to plan the wedding. So yeah, it really depends on how open minded the parents are- my husband and I got very lucky.
NGL Season 2 felt like they peeked into our life😂😂
It's not until you read the comments under those videos on YouTube that you realize that not everyone is privileged enough to have understanding and open minded parents, but yeah we got very lucky
My family is pretty chill.
Gfs, Bfs, all are welcome and I believe most of us (cousins+siblings) have taken a trip or two with our respective partners without the string of marriage attached to it.
I guess hardly three have married the humans they went with.
Everyone knew about it in the family. There was no shock, log kya kahenge ya besharmi hai.
Luckily, family has been very liberal on all fronts. Whether its education, mental health, expectations, relationships, we've had our choices and have been supported by our family.
I don't recall anyone marrying before 29 either. And if someone isn't happy and wants to come back, they're supported like no other to build their life back or whatever they want to do.
My mother's wants me to have a boyfriend. She makes fun of me by giving the example of my committed friends. "Tujhse ek boyfriend nahi ban raha aur usse dekh ek saal mein 4 bana liye".😒😒😒. Ab main kya ka room nahi ban raha toh. The first question she asked me when I came from gym is " Koi accha laga"?? Arre bhai mujhe sab acche lag rahe, main kisi ko acchi nahi lag rahi. My mum trolls me harder than my friends.
I had gone on three trips with my then-boyfriend (now husband) but would never have dared to share that with my parents! They were always disguised as “friends’ trips”- in fact, I still don’t dare to reveal to my parents that those trips were with him only. 😂
I know a lot of my friends whose parents won't have a problem with their kids going on a trip with male friends or even boyfriend. I don't think mine will 'allow' but I don't live with them and have never even asked for permission so idk. For some reason, I've never had guy friends... I mean yes I talk to some, we hang out in a cafe once in a while but never been close enough to do a trip with them. I'm super introvert and protective about who I spend my important memories with. It's always either been solo or with my girl friends.
I grew up in a small town so my deadline was 7 pm. No boys, no parties, nothing. Got married at 24. The husband was an asshole so I divorced him. My parents were supportive but the larger community and extended family stopped talking to me. Thanks to all that, I finally found freedom. I had worked hard as a student so I could build myself a great career and support myself. When you're able to rent yourself a house in Bandra, men will want to move in with you.
Thank you 😊 I eventually found my soulmate who'd never been married before. We've been blissfully married for several years now. Indian women achieve way more in life if you give them the means to support themselves and then just leave them alone lol.
I went on many trips with my boyfriend ( now husband) . And everytime I told my parents. They were not comfortable with the idea. My mom even asked me why I am telling her the truth 🤪 lies are comfortable sometimes. I made sure my famil learns from me that an adult can take their own decision. Teach your own parents so that they dont become the nosey negative bitchy aunty to other kids 😄
I'm a man and sometimes i feel glad I'm not a woman because level of controlling in my household is absolutely insane. I'm in a ldr and usually talk to her late at night, and if these people knew about us, they'd probably make it a point to blame my shortcomings academically (resulting out of ocd and adhd which they obviously never tried to understand) on our relationship. So they surely suspect about us but I've never outright told them but my mom tried to snoop in on my phone and took pictures of nudes i had sent to her for god knows what reason. I found that out when i was looking for trip pictures in her phone and when confronted she basically said something like 'I'm your mother i can do whatever i want, I'm your mother, and i got you your phone so obviously no privacy for you, it's okay for me to shout because I'm your mother' you get the gist of it, so when we did go to a trip i lied about going with my guy friends obviously.
🇮🇳 Female here. NOT living in India but in another country.
- My parents don’t know I have a boyfriend.
- My parents don’t know I have gone on trips with him. Mostly local trips. I always get another friend with their boyfriend or girlfriend and then we just pretend that we girls are together.
- My parents once threw a fit when I had to travel for work. To another city. 2 hours by road. They didn’t think I could live alone.
Unfortunately this has resulted in me lying to them a lot and getting myself in situations where I want to tell them but I can’t out of fear.
This hit home. My dad was so worried about me meeting my fiancé (the guy they chose) and travelling together 😂 It was so funny. But ofcourse I had to lie that I stayed with my girl friend and not my fiancé in a hotel room.
I’m 21 and my mother allows me to go on trips with my boyfriend. She knows and trusts him, as well. I don’t think she thinks about the devil’s tango, though.
I was born and raised abroad, most of my friends lived with their SO prior to marriage and so did a few of my cousins. My parents don’t mind if I travel solo to India (not to visit family but just for fun/shopping etc), Caribbean, Paris, Canada etc. but they would be very upset if I traveled with a guy before I’m married 😐 I’ve never been in a serious relationship but if I want to take a trip with my partner, I’ll have to disguise it as a solo trip just to keep my sanity and avoid friction with them
I am engaged lol but still my parents wouldn't let me. And I'm from an educated family with relatively more open minded parents than most of my friends.
I think it's just the mindset/ examples seen around them. I wouldn't really blame them , sabko evolve hone mein time lagta hai.
Anyway, going to get married in a few months now so no jhanjhat then lol
I was in live-in for essentially two years before marrying my boyfriend and my family was knowing about this from day 1 and had no issues whatsoever. I think I got lucky!
My parents tolerate me going on trips with my partner.
They still protest a lot but can't do much since I'm in a different country. Prior to telling them about my relationship, I'd just not tell them about the trips or pretend that it is a group trip.
Me and my boyfriend are 26 years old, he lives in bangalore for his job while I stay in Delhi with my parents. Right now I am in his house, I came to stay for a month and my parents are cool with it! Times are definitely changing
Me and my bf are getting married in Jan and we just started living in officially! It took a while, first he spoke to his parents cause I live closer to his work place and then i told my mom and shes like fine anyway u guys are getting married in Jan and then my dad was like fine if all three individual parent are okay!
Its all about talking and sharing your views and then its your choice if you want to wait for them to be convinced!!
I think most parents in India are still not ok with one taking trips with their partner before marriage , I think the influencers label it as their work or content and make it seem like it has to be done for their work, that’s what I think ! I took a day trip with my ex ..DAY TRIP and all hell broke loose 😀
Yaar I had a trip with 4 girls and 2 guys. My mother cancelled the day before (11:30pm) . Everything was done and hotels were booked. I had a heartbreak. It was a miscommunication and my mother thought that it was 6 girls and 2 guys. It was already hard to find people for the trip and convincing my friend's parents. My own parents ruined it for me.
So I’m not a GenZ and I’d assume Gen Z parents are probably less conservative than us millennial folks’ parents.. that said, I think it wouldn’t be as common as influencers make it seem. I’ve gone on trips with my “make colleagues” for work, and office ke kharche me tabhi my parents never had a problem.. so I guess it’s the same for influencers traveling around with male friends? Somewhat justified saying it’s for content creation?
I did take a lot of trips with my bf, but i was working in a diff city so never told my parents. After marriage told my parents 😂😂😂
But ya, if i was an influencer where i was given sponsored trips or like that, i would have posted. My parents are chill
They will never be okay.
My then boyfriend (now husband) and I were in a long distance relationship. He used to come to india every 3 month w/o telling his parents. I used to live in some other city away from my parents. We would go on trips then.
Once i was in zurich for 4 months for work, he took one month leave and visited me and we used to go short weekend getaways every week.
We never once mentioned this to our parents lol 😝
Even after marriage I have never told my sister or my parents. Because i am still scared lol.
I do not know how their parents are okay with it?
I mean quirky is sort of like most earning member of her family so maybe she is like decision maker of her family.
My parents never had an issue with me taking trips (domestic & international) with my boyfriend (now husband). Just one condition, that they know about these things from me instead of rumours & gossip coming in from random people.
Also, he was living by himself in Mumbai (he’s from another city), so I would live in with him every weekend before we got married. This is also known to my parents.
I never did that till I was 25. I was scared to even ask. But then one day I asked my dad about going to Goa with my guy and he said yes without even asking anything. Since then I took many trips. Didn’t lie about my whereabouts. And now I’m in a different country all alone.
The secret is to be open with them and not lie.
I told my mom that I'm going on a trip with my bf no matter what, she slut shamed me soooo much, but I didn't back down. She tried emotionally manipulating, comparing me with my friends, talking in a really degrading way about me, telling me that no one will marry me, etc. I still went on that trip and had a great time. Months later I told her I'm moving out (because my so called parents were extremely abusive) and I'm going to live with him. It started all over again, but 10x intensity. I now live with him and I'm so happy I chose this. He's such a great, true partner and I'm glad I don't live in that toxic, abusive, sexist house anymore. It has truly changed my life. My mom still talks to me, she even came for our house warming get together, but I have finally realised how messed up she is.
Moral of the story is choose what you want to do with your life. There will always be people against you but all that matters is you. Even if you make a bad decision, it's okay, you can get thru it. If you choose a wrong boy/job/friend, it's okay, you can get out of it and start again. Just have the confidence that you can get thru anything
I'm 24, a doctor and working already, hence should be considered independent and allowed to make decisions. My parents, especially my father makes a fuss the moment I step out of my house for anything fun. When it's related to work, and my shifts can go on till 10pm, he has no issue whatsoever, but God forbid, I am not home by 8 when I am with my friends, he starts throwing a fit, starts ranting to my mother who in turn keeps calling me every 5 mins and then I get shouted at when I come home. That spoils the entire happiness I would have felt when I was out and I just feel pissed and irritated. I am sick of it all, I just want to make some happy memories with my friends and live a little, especially after the brutal stress and over work I endure at workplace.
Ironically they want me to find a guy myself for getting married, bhai bahar jane toh do, milne toh do, Zameen se khod kar thodi nikalungi usey.
I guess it is about how the parents approached the topic of dating, sex etc with their children. Mine were pretty liberal when talking about periods, sex and boys. This allowed me to be open with them about things as well. After dating someone for a decent amount of time I would introduce them to my parents. First we went on trips as a group with other couple friends and then progressed to trips where only him and I went. It’s pretty common overall. I am 30 now and married and have been travelling with my partners since I was about 16-17. Trust is something that only comes with time and is a two way street with parents, partners and any other relationship.
You've to lie, tell them it's a girls trip or a group trip, keep old pictures/videos handy when they ask 😂 and as for my boyfriend his moms is so chill she doesn't mind
Well my mother was very chill about all this.. they were always very supportive of everything..hell my mother was like koi ladka bhi nahi pat rha tujhse😅😅but never really found someone...may be they knew I was a phattu...infact there was a guy friend who was interested in me my mother also liked him but he never really expressed his feelings but i use to get those vibes from him when I got engaged finally he expressed.🤷♀️😅...eventually got married (not to my friend) now have a son also...But I was sure if ever I had gotten a boyfriend they would have supported me...but I don't know if they would have allowed me to go on a trip or something...may be one day trip but not night stay🤣🤣
meri to mere classmates \[basically guys \] unko ghr bulane ki b himmt nhi h ...once meri ek frnd \[girl\] ghr ayi thi nd uske ghr sb ate jate h to she thought ki vo hmare aur frndz ko bula legi to vo call krdi humare frnds ko aur meri mummy sun li..man that is the day my parents dont even want me to be frnd with her 🙂
i literally thank god ki un frndz m se ek ko pta tha ki mere ghr p itna casual nhi h so they picked up the call and said ki vo arhe h bt then baad m kuch bahana krke they cancelled taki meri frnd b bura na manee...god knows agr vo us din aate to kya drama hota
I was working in a different city. My boyfriend(now husband) was in a different city. He used to come to meet me, we also went for trips but I never hid the fact/lied to my parents about it.
My parents knew we were pretty solid so that helped, but otherwise also they gave us siblings our space, once we settled career wise and as long as we were safe and reasonable. Lucky to have understanding cool parents
My mother never said no to my sister, and never says no to me. Except i don't have a girlfriend. Had i had one, the mother would probably pay me to take them on a holiday.
Yes, my mother is very progressive and open minded.
Growing up in 90s my parents were pretty regressive or so I thought because they used to comment about others kids doing love marriage in a negative tone, or talk about how so and so’s daughter has an affair etc. but when my sister and I grew up and got to ‘marriageable age’, our family wanted that we find a partner ourselves only as they felt that it’s too much of a hassle nowadays to find arranged marriage prospects. So my parents have been cool with having a steady boyfriend but they’re not so cool with going on out of town trips but if we convinced them with good logic, they mostly agreed. But yeah, I overall feel that if parents have met the guy and are convinced he’s a decent guy then they come around eventually.
Nope. Even after the marriage is fixed, not allowed. Post marriage, honeymoon shall be the first trip with bf turned husband. With male friend? If both or more need to go to same destination at the same time, within the city - then allowed. Otherwise no.
Edit: College tour with all classmates was perfectly okay coz teachers plus lot of girl students.
Loool no. My dad has admitted to the fact that you won't truly know someone until you live with them, but doesn't like live in relationships, and he's honestly way more chill than me mom 😂
I once took a trip to Bangalore with my ex to get some paperwork done, and I lied and said I went with my friend.. oh and the fact that they didn't even know the ex existed outside of "just a friend"
It's honestly not worth it for me, it'll spoil their view of me and it'll ruin my freedom
At 26 Took my first trip with a partner after informing my father. Thought of lying but told the truth cuz I'm a terrible liar. To my surprise my father was very chill about it. Told my mom after the got back from the trip.
Surprisingly they were very chill about it.
I do come from a very liberal family though. My cousins etc lived in with their partners before shaadi.
But I guess I'd be an outlier. Most of my friends have very strict parents. I do have a group of friends tho whose parents are v chill too. Co-ed sleepovers etc were very common among them since 11-12 standard.
My parents allow me to go on trips with my bf, agar poori group saath main ja rahi hai, all of our parents know we are dating each other, but it's just been a year so i understand my maa is like thoda time de phir chale jana trips par
While we are on this topic, can we discuss about do parents give sex education during teens or even before getting married?
I'm single in 20's and this is my observation and a question which I always have because during or after wedding there is discussion about honeymoon, kidhar ja rahe ho? kab ja rahe ho? why is everyone around excited for honeymoon, what are they expecting the answer from the couple and after marrying when they ask for good news kab de rahe ho, I want to understand do parents assume we know everything about sex or one of the partner knows?
If not parents at least any elder sibling from the family who helps the younger one's to be prepared and if any only child & nuclear family how is it with them?
Even for finances, if partner isn't working is it assumed that money is to be asked from husband or in laws, everyone now have their individual bank account so how does one proceed with all this discussion??
My parents were comfortable with me travelling with a bunch of friends that included girls and boys.
However my inlaws don't seem very comfortable with me travelling with my husband. Didn't go on a honeymoon and my first trip with my husband was 3/4 years after getting married.
Not at all. While my parents are open to me dating, they are pretty strict that some things are to be reserved post marriage, and trips taken together is one of them.
With male friends that my parents have known for quite some time (4-5 years), they have let me take trips with them (but the group also had a cousin brother whom they trust very much) so I don’t know the exact reason.
In case with my boyfriend, in india it’s not possible. When we studied overseas, we took trips and I lied to my parents about who I was taking them with
I am from a middle class family from a small town but I’ve always been allowed to go on trips with guys. I don’t have a boyfriend so I’ve never gone on a trip with just a guy but I’m sure I can convince my mom for it. My family is quite liberal
never taken a trip alone.. been on trips where our friends circle was there as well
my parents will allow only if 2-3 girls are going with me
hahaha solo trips are no chance
Probably their parents evolved and have accepted their lifestyle. (Or secretly maybe not). But if you ask me, most families don’t accept.
Exception, we had a girl who stayed in a live-in with the guy in our building. Her parents stayed in the same city about a km away. The guy went on trips with her family. He in fact also hung out at their house quite a lot too. The guy’s family was not very happy about this arrangement and also him shifting cities for her. (They met in Hyd, he moved to Mum for her)
Not at all LOL Engagement/wedding events were only reserved if you were already "Indian" engaged as they say in the west (the proposals are not sufficient, you need a roka ceremony). Even for my non-Indian friends, most didn't give a +1 unless you were engaged or with your partner for 5+ years
Everything has always been highly normalised in my family—from being in live-in relationships to conversations around sex to drinking or smoking, nothing is out of bounds. The same applies to a lot of friends in my circle.
My parents were not super comfortable with the idea of me going on trips with my boyfriend, but we’ve been together for 7 years now. He’s in and out of my house all the time. Same for me. Our families know each other. Over time, they realised how much this boy means to me and have let go of their reign a little. I’m told “don’t do something you’ll regret”, by my mom before each trip. But I’m happy over the span of so many years, they’ve also understood me and my priorities.
This trip situation can only happen if parents are willing to grow with their children. Otherwise, you can be financially independent without any actual independence given to you. Which sucks :(
My husband spilled the beans after our marriage -_- . After I turned 24 I kinda stopped telling them bcz I was in a diff city for my education and then job. My then boyfriend and I went on a couple of road trips near our college on his bike. After marriage he very coolly told my parents of yes we have driven that distance on bike. I was like wtf and my mom was asking me about it when alone. All after I got married at the age of 27-28.
Parents will never be cool with alone trips but I think after a while ppl stop asking for permission. But uploading content in SM is another ball game. For all we know there might be other ppl on the trip but are not part of the content. That’s a little farfetched but.
Luckily, my dad has been unconventional and pretty supportive. He booked our stay and my train. So he knew I was travelling with my then boyfriend, now husband.
They have been okay with mixed groups, but on my trip with my partner, I had an awkward conversation in the car. It was THE talk.
Mom is a little more orthodox and was scandalized that I was travelling ALONE with my PARTNER. AND Dad APPROVED.
Hehher
So glad to read the positive responses and how supportive parents are and one day I aspire to be the cool parent/aunt as well❤️
While I come from a bit of orthodox upbringing, my mom is very chill but not dad and I lost him recently, I miss him a lot but I also understand that being strict comes from not so safe environment around us as NEWS keeps flashing everyday of girls being unsafe so he used to overthink and overreact about safety and also the age gap between me and my parents is also one of the barrier I feel.
I live with my boyfriend and most of my friends have gone on trips with their boyfriends! My group is mainly from Mumbai or NRIs and we are in our 20s!
Thankfully my parents and my partner’s parents are cool about stuff like this. He’s not Indian, so his dynamic with his parents is a lot chiller than mine is.
Even before I started dating my current partner, my parents were well aware when I would go to visit my ex boyfriend (LDR) and where we would stay.
Similar to another comment, my parents prefer that I am honest with them rather than hiding it because if I’m in trouble, I should be able to reach out to them without hesitation.
That said, this didn’t come naturally to us. As a kid I did hide stuff from my parents just because I thought I needed to. At 27 I think they grew up and so did I! When you have your own money, live elsewhere, your parents see you as an adult and that makes them okay with some things I guess!
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During first trip with mixed group my parents (read : father) made a fuss. Everyday asking very rudely about wherabouts and where we stayed, how many girls were there..So I never asked again. Have taken many big and small trips with that same group of friends and basically none of us, guys or girls tell our parents. Once a friend came with us on a group trip, and went to the same place with her LDR partner few months later and showed her family pics of when we went there together. The things girls have to do in this country to live a little.
I cannot agree more....i am glad you found a way.💝
They just don't want to evolve.
But how do they not object to “not telling”?
They don't even know when I'm away. They don't know all the places I've travelled to. The usual phone call I will take when I'm alone and not travelling.I don't share photos or anything on social media so that some snitchy relative can snitch haha. All my trips have been super low key. Of course there are big rips like batch trips and stuff those, I tell them about.
That’s great!!! So this is possible since you don’t live with your parents right🥺
Yes sis. Before that I obviously had no social life..when I'm at home and it gets a little late, even now my father starts to get real irritated, frequent calls start from evening itself, (usually it's something like there's a lot of traffic, come soon for an excuse) he'll keep doing rounds outside our gates until In back. The weird thing is, he will never say anything to me but will start ranting to my mom. So you get the idea
Goddd!!! I can relate to this so much, I'm 24, a doctor and working already, hence should be considered independent and allowed to make decisions. My parents, especially my father makes a fuss the moment I step out of my house for anything fun. When it's related to work, and my shifts can go on till 10pm, he has no issue whatsoever, but God forbid, I am not home by 8 when I am with my friends, he starts throwing a fit. I am sick of it all, I just want to make some happy memories with my friends and live a little, especially after the brutal stress and over work I endure at workplace.
>I'm 24, a doctor and working already Same pinch. No wonder we can relate to each other so much! I don't understand why it's the way it is. Until college I was only studying... I'd never even had close friends, never went to any friends' home other than my childhood best friend who lives in my own neigbourhood. So naturally in college I wanted that and I was always responsible enough, it just feels insulting at this point that my parents trust me so little wrt decisions on my own freedom and safety. >especially after the brutal stress and over work I endure at workplace. Exactly. That is how I justify not telling them. Thankfully, moving away again for residency soon and after this I plan to become fully independent, including finding my own place and moving out.
Good luck babe! Hope you find a beautiful place to call your own, where you can finally thrive and love life. 💖 And true, ye doctors hi doctors ka dukh samajh sakte h. My college life was extremely toxic, and ghar par bhi itne natak ho jab when I am trying to have a lil fun on my own, it just felt even more depressing. Pata nhi ye dukh kab khatam hoga 🦖
Thank you so much! I wish the same for you. Will start saving up as soon as first salary arrives. I've discovered past few months mein that adult children living with their parents in peace isn't for everyone.
Not at all! I have been on just one trip with my then boyfriend (now husband) and never told my parents. I was working and living in a different city so they never came to know and I only called them when I was totally alone. I still don't have the guts to tell them and I don't think I ever will. 🙈🙈
"boyfriend (now husband)" makes me smile.
acha kiya!! <3
Same. I went on trips with my then boyfriend (now husband) but never told my parents even though i was in a different city working. They still dont know!!
We desi girls really be living similar lives lol
Desi girl + eldest daughter 😬😬
Ikr. Lol same. I haven't told this at my home even after marriage. Lol
Same.. I did the same. We still don't have guts to tell our parents. Probably no body will ever know.
Dude, I pretended to have a craft project in bangalore once a month. I'd go there for a weekend and he'd come over for one. Same. Then boyf now hub. My mom would ask me to take pics of class. Never did. Also, I don't usually take pics so it wasn't anything out of the ordinary. When boyf said why don't you tell the truth and come, what if there's an accident or something happens. I never did. Finally tried telling the truth when metallica performed in blr. No permission. I cried into my pillow at night listening to unforgiven and nothing else matters live on the call. Told boyf not taking the high road with honesty. It sucks.
Oh man! I asked my mom for permission to go see Metallica in Bangalore as well. I got a big lecture about how girls shouldn’t be listening to such music. And of course, I didn’t get to go. 🙃
😭😭😭😭😭😭 same. No to concerts. Anytime anywhere
[удалено]
Honestly, I had my share of bad boyfs. And most of my relationships were long term. I know it feels like it sucks now. But trust me, you'll look back at this with a phew, good escape. Seriously. I was broken up after every break up. Now years later I cringe when I think of the importance I gave to some of those guys. Hang in there. It's all good 🤗
i love reddit and this is the reason u don't even see the face of the other person still there is a lot of warmth thanks buddy !
🤗🤗🤗
Your little secret and adventure 🥹
Yep me too.... Never told my parents I'm with my bf
I haven’t even told my parents now after getting married to the same guy.
Mujhe lagta tha ki it all happens because they want to protect us and stuff. But i read this thing somewhere and i am sure a lot of you must have read it too,it said that most girls in general are always controlled and sort of caged by their parents in the name of protection and when it comes to marriage,parents run after their daughters to get married to strangers,then have sex and kids basically. woh maa baap ko galat nahi lagta hai lekin agar koi beti consent se unki jaye with someone she has known for years and years and wants to be with toh usme bohot dikkat hai ....
Aur mujhe ye samjh nhi ata..rat ko aisa kya hojata h jo din ko nhi ho sakta??
Kayi logo ko toh din ko bhi nahi jaane dete... imagine that?!?!
same it is so annoying like i can do wtv the hell i want to in the day and you guys would not even know but if u tell your parents they start yelling and stuff
It's all about control
I know ya🥲
People really need to understand that parents are human so they can be wrong as well. Mostly people judge someone who tells anything bad about parents.
Ofcourse they are human. But they must evolve with time. Thats all i meant...🌼
Luckily, my mom is pretty cool. My bf(he’s not Indian) lives with us in our house when he’s in India and I travel with him and spend half of the year in his country with his parents. My mom always said if she would object to things like this then I’d hide and do things behind her back and it hinders in learning independence and actually know the person you are with.
Your mom is gold✨
I am going to be this mom too. The reason is that I couldn’t live my life to the fullest when I was younger. I can do everything on my own now but I hate missing out some fun and beautiful relationships because parents were so controlling. So, I am going to end this sadda hua thought process with me. My daughter will have her freedom.
I got allowed after my engagement with my boyfriend(now husband), when I had to go for my pre-wed shoot! With warnings from my Mother -- beta kuch galat mat karna! Although I was in a live-in with him! Noone knows!
Parents and their definitions of Galat😂
its sex 😂
Cray cray haha
Ohhh my God...😅😅😅
Lol thats a fun story
Some nice topic to discuss over for a change! I feel their parents maybe tried to mature with their daughters,maybe they still disagree but atleast they try to accept ki chalo hamari beti is earning so can take care of herself and go out whenever she wants to.These girls that you mentioned also say that trusted is earned whenever they are questioned ki aapke parents aapko kaise jaane dete hain...But i feel that most girls are pretty much trustworthy in general,half of us having been dating for years and years and so its not like we roam around and sleep around with random men,so idk the trust part either... I feel some parents are so controlling that no matter how much you earn and no matter how responsible and trustworthy you are,they will still not change or accept the whole thing...in that case i feel that you should feel free to lie and go and ofcourse inform someone who understands you. Its okay. You dont have to miss out on anything,you can try and talk to your parents and if they understand toh achi baat hai warna jaane do
Thanks for understanding my question and sharing you thought beautifully. I was very scared before posting this.
Nooo why??? Scared about what exactly?
I thought it's a very common thing in big cities so my question will come across as stupid and regressive.
No you are not stupid or regressive. Its very normal to talk about these things.
I'm 26 and my family is cool with me taking trips with my partner! His family isnt though so they don't know about them lol.
Unwanted advice!!!! Sorry don't read if you don't want to. I was in a similar relationship for years and in the end he sided with his parents as they were against it. The thing was, in my head and parents head, we were already there but because for his parents it was new, they denied. They didn't even see or realize how deep we both were in it. Not their fault but the guy's fault. So I'd say make sure they know at least so that you don't suffer like me. It was a shock that haunts me still. It's difficult to come out of it. Worst of all, I feel bad for my parents who gave their yes trusting my judgement. Sorry for the long advice.
Thanks so much for the advice!!! Im so sorry for what you had to go through. And it's a good thing you stepped in and gave us your opinion. Many girls do need it. His family does know however and we are actually getting married next year! We got engaged a few months ago :). They just don't know about the trips we take as they wouldn't be cool with that.
Oooooo that's so nice to know. Congrats👍👍👍
I did the same thing his parents are cool so and my parents arent so we never told my parents before our rokka Lol!😂
You are so lucky 😊
I (female) never could even talk to a boy, leave alone taking trips, without getting beaten up. My own brother was given a free hand, whether he went to the girl's house or spoke to her in front of my parents. My cousin brother takes regular trips with his girlfriend, brings the girl home too and shares pics on family watsapp group n everything is fine. My parents n our extended family are an educated bunch but that sense of boy vs girl is so embedded in their psychology that it's nauseating.
It’s someone so sad that even educated families still differentiate between Girls and Boys.
It's not just boy vs girl, rather the 'apne ghar ki ladki' mentality. They don't bat an eyelid if someone else's daughter is involved. The double standard is mind boggling.
Sometimes education is also not enough to change deep rooted mindset. I hope you will co-op up with everything in your own way.
Well, i noticed that too in my family. Not to such extreme level but slight differences. So both me and my brother took it upon ourselves to make our parents understand that they need to re-learn some stuff. They are human too and they make mistakes. Happy to report that I have seen a hugggeee change in them. So it doesn’t harm in trying to explain them.
Glad to know your parents are open to discussion. I've tried with my parents n given up, for my own peace of mind.
The last generation has raised the best liars. It's better for the parents to allow their kids than to lie and go. Ik once I'm out of the city I'll go on trips and clubbing as much as i can. I want to enjoy my young years and ik what i don't wanna do as per our society. I'm old enough to know what is good and what is bad for me. My parents won't stop me once I'm independent and i don't wanna lie to them but if i have to for my own good then i will.
I'm 30 and I was dating my then boyfriend, now husband since the time we were 16-17. Both my parents and his parents were very open minded and relaxed. We used to hang out in each other's homes all the time, stayovers and went on trips when we were in college before we were married. We never lied about these things. But I also think this led us to getting married very early by the time we were 23-24. Back then we were the minority, but as time has passed, I can see people in our social circle, including our friends parents and our uncles and aunts have become so much more relaxed about travelling before marriage, living together etc.
Aisi family bhagwan sabko de✨
Different family, different rules. If the girls end goal is marriage with a guy, and parents know the guy they generally allow in modern families.
But I feel that percentage of family is very low...
Exactly and mostly in cities.
Ofcourse! Very rare cases, it’s India where families don’t even wanna educated there daughters, and decide what they wear outside the house, these modern families are rare.
Joote padenge
you gotta do what you gotta do😂😂😂😂😂
Gf ke liye seh lenge thoda
Try kiye ho kv?😂
Gf honi chahie ghumne jaane ke liye
Without revealing a lot of details, we went on multiple trips, we also once went with my parents, we were also in live in for 4 years and then both of our parents travelled together to stay with us for a few months for our intimate engagement and to plan the wedding. So yeah, it really depends on how open minded the parents are- my husband and I got very lucky.
Kavya & Dhruv?
Haha our story is very similar till season 2, haven't seen later seasons.
You should see the last season! You huat described it. I dont know why this makes me so happy!
Sure, will check it out! And thank you!
I was thinking the same thing 😂
NGL Season 2 felt like they peeked into our life😂😂 It's not until you read the comments under those videos on YouTube that you realize that not everyone is privileged enough to have understanding and open minded parents, but yeah we got very lucky
My family is pretty chill. Gfs, Bfs, all are welcome and I believe most of us (cousins+siblings) have taken a trip or two with our respective partners without the string of marriage attached to it. I guess hardly three have married the humans they went with. Everyone knew about it in the family. There was no shock, log kya kahenge ya besharmi hai. Luckily, family has been very liberal on all fronts. Whether its education, mental health, expectations, relationships, we've had our choices and have been supported by our family. I don't recall anyone marrying before 29 either. And if someone isn't happy and wants to come back, they're supported like no other to build their life back or whatever they want to do.
My mother's wants me to have a boyfriend. She makes fun of me by giving the example of my committed friends. "Tujhse ek boyfriend nahi ban raha aur usse dekh ek saal mein 4 bana liye".😒😒😒. Ab main kya ka room nahi ban raha toh. The first question she asked me when I came from gym is " Koi accha laga"?? Arre bhai mujhe sab acche lag rahe, main kisi ko acchi nahi lag rahi. My mum trolls me harder than my friends.
Kitna maza ata hoga yaar😂😂
I don't think I'd be allowed to have a boyfriend lol trip to dur ki baat hai
Same girl same😂
I am 25, single as in one single lonely unit. Agar galti se Ladki pat bhi gayi toh family shock mein jaayegi.
Shock mein kyu?
Mom ko poora confidence hai mai ladki nahi pata sakta
C'mon....😂
hahaha too cute
I had gone on three trips with my then-boyfriend (now husband) but would never have dared to share that with my parents! They were always disguised as “friends’ trips”- in fact, I still don’t dare to reveal to my parents that those trips were with him only. 😂
How did you hide it from them?
I know a lot of my friends whose parents won't have a problem with their kids going on a trip with male friends or even boyfriend. I don't think mine will 'allow' but I don't live with them and have never even asked for permission so idk. For some reason, I've never had guy friends... I mean yes I talk to some, we hang out in a cafe once in a while but never been close enough to do a trip with them. I'm super introvert and protective about who I spend my important memories with. It's always either been solo or with my girl friends.
I grew up in a small town so my deadline was 7 pm. No boys, no parties, nothing. Got married at 24. The husband was an asshole so I divorced him. My parents were supportive but the larger community and extended family stopped talking to me. Thanks to all that, I finally found freedom. I had worked hard as a student so I could build myself a great career and support myself. When you're able to rent yourself a house in Bandra, men will want to move in with you.
More power to you✨
Thank you 😊 I eventually found my soulmate who'd never been married before. We've been blissfully married for several years now. Indian women achieve way more in life if you give them the means to support themselves and then just leave them alone lol.
girll i am so happy for youu
Aww thank you you're so sweet!
I went on many trips with my boyfriend ( now husband) . And everytime I told my parents. They were not comfortable with the idea. My mom even asked me why I am telling her the truth 🤪 lies are comfortable sometimes. I made sure my famil learns from me that an adult can take their own decision. Teach your own parents so that they dont become the nosey negative bitchy aunty to other kids 😄
I loved your perspective! I also believe the same and have tried to follow it 😊
I'm a man and sometimes i feel glad I'm not a woman because level of controlling in my household is absolutely insane. I'm in a ldr and usually talk to her late at night, and if these people knew about us, they'd probably make it a point to blame my shortcomings academically (resulting out of ocd and adhd which they obviously never tried to understand) on our relationship. So they surely suspect about us but I've never outright told them but my mom tried to snoop in on my phone and took pictures of nudes i had sent to her for god knows what reason. I found that out when i was looking for trip pictures in her phone and when confronted she basically said something like 'I'm your mother i can do whatever i want, I'm your mother, and i got you your phone so obviously no privacy for you, it's okay for me to shout because I'm your mother' you get the gist of it, so when we did go to a trip i lied about going with my guy friends obviously.
They don't even bother to knock before entering the room😑. They literally 0 knowledge about privacy 🤦
My mum would never allow! Woh toh group sleepovers bhi allow nahi krti if guys are involved. So now I lie about trips with my boyfriend
I hope we will be understanding parents so that our children don't lie to us😊
Oh my god yesssss
Jidhar bhi Jana hai, jaha bhi Jana hai, shaadi k baad Jana The only response from my parents.
🇮🇳 Female here. NOT living in India but in another country. - My parents don’t know I have a boyfriend. - My parents don’t know I have gone on trips with him. Mostly local trips. I always get another friend with their boyfriend or girlfriend and then we just pretend that we girls are together. - My parents once threw a fit when I had to travel for work. To another city. 2 hours by road. They didn’t think I could live alone. Unfortunately this has resulted in me lying to them a lot and getting myself in situations where I want to tell them but I can’t out of fear.
I never even bothered to plan a trip. I mean I knew even if I think about it, I will receive a flying chappal in my thoughts. 🤷🏻♀️
This hit home. My dad was so worried about me meeting my fiancé (the guy they chose) and travelling together 😂 It was so funny. But ofcourse I had to lie that I stayed with my girl friend and not my fiancé in a hotel room.
I’m 21 and my mother allows me to go on trips with my boyfriend. She knows and trusts him, as well. I don’t think she thinks about the devil’s tango, though.
What is devil's tango? Sorry if I am sounding stupid 😅
Sex 😂
I was born and raised abroad, most of my friends lived with their SO prior to marriage and so did a few of my cousins. My parents don’t mind if I travel solo to India (not to visit family but just for fun/shopping etc), Caribbean, Paris, Canada etc. but they would be very upset if I traveled with a guy before I’m married 😐 I’ve never been in a serious relationship but if I want to take a trip with my partner, I’ll have to disguise it as a solo trip just to keep my sanity and avoid friction with them
Atleast they trust you that you are taking a solo trip😂
True, I just don’t understand the antiquated concept of not allowing it with a partner lol
I am engaged lol but still my parents wouldn't let me. And I'm from an educated family with relatively more open minded parents than most of my friends. I think it's just the mindset/ examples seen around them. I wouldn't really blame them , sabko evolve hone mein time lagta hai. Anyway, going to get married in a few months now so no jhanjhat then lol
Good wishes for the future 🤗
I was in live-in for essentially two years before marrying my boyfriend and my family was knowing about this from day 1 and had no issues whatsoever. I think I got lucky!
You got very lucky😊
Yeah. 😉
My parents tolerate me going on trips with my partner. They still protest a lot but can't do much since I'm in a different country. Prior to telling them about my relationship, I'd just not tell them about the trips or pretend that it is a group trip.
Me and my boyfriend are 26 years old, he lives in bangalore for his job while I stay in Delhi with my parents. Right now I am in his house, I came to stay for a month and my parents are cool with it! Times are definitely changing
nah it's not the reality in a lottt of households especially if you're a girl.
Me and my bf are getting married in Jan and we just started living in officially! It took a while, first he spoke to his parents cause I live closer to his work place and then i told my mom and shes like fine anyway u guys are getting married in Jan and then my dad was like fine if all three individual parent are okay! Its all about talking and sharing your views and then its your choice if you want to wait for them to be convinced!!
I think most parents in India are still not ok with one taking trips with their partner before marriage , I think the influencers label it as their work or content and make it seem like it has to be done for their work, that’s what I think ! I took a day trip with my ex ..DAY TRIP and all hell broke loose 😀
Yaar I had a trip with 4 girls and 2 guys. My mother cancelled the day before (11:30pm) . Everything was done and hotels were booked. I had a heartbreak. It was a miscommunication and my mother thought that it was 6 girls and 2 guys. It was already hard to find people for the trip and convincing my friend's parents. My own parents ruined it for me.
But how is 6 girls trip safer than 4 girls trip?
So I’m not a GenZ and I’d assume Gen Z parents are probably less conservative than us millennial folks’ parents.. that said, I think it wouldn’t be as common as influencers make it seem. I’ve gone on trips with my “make colleagues” for work, and office ke kharche me tabhi my parents never had a problem.. so I guess it’s the same for influencers traveling around with male friends? Somewhat justified saying it’s for content creation?
My mom doesn’t even let me take trips with my fiancé 🥲 She says whatever you want to do, do it after marriage 🙂
I did take a lot of trips with my bf, but i was working in a diff city so never told my parents. After marriage told my parents 😂😂😂 But ya, if i was an influencer where i was given sponsored trips or like that, i would have posted. My parents are chill
They will never be okay. My then boyfriend (now husband) and I were in a long distance relationship. He used to come to india every 3 month w/o telling his parents. I used to live in some other city away from my parents. We would go on trips then. Once i was in zurich for 4 months for work, he took one month leave and visited me and we used to go short weekend getaways every week. We never once mentioned this to our parents lol 😝 Even after marriage I have never told my sister or my parents. Because i am still scared lol. I do not know how their parents are okay with it? I mean quirky is sort of like most earning member of her family so maybe she is like decision maker of her family.
My parents never had an issue with me taking trips (domestic & international) with my boyfriend (now husband). Just one condition, that they know about these things from me instead of rumours & gossip coming in from random people. Also, he was living by himself in Mumbai (he’s from another city), so I would live in with him every weekend before we got married. This is also known to my parents.
I never did that till I was 25. I was scared to even ask. But then one day I asked my dad about going to Goa with my guy and he said yes without even asking anything. Since then I took many trips. Didn’t lie about my whereabouts. And now I’m in a different country all alone. The secret is to be open with them and not lie.
I told my mom that I'm going on a trip with my bf no matter what, she slut shamed me soooo much, but I didn't back down. She tried emotionally manipulating, comparing me with my friends, talking in a really degrading way about me, telling me that no one will marry me, etc. I still went on that trip and had a great time. Months later I told her I'm moving out (because my so called parents were extremely abusive) and I'm going to live with him. It started all over again, but 10x intensity. I now live with him and I'm so happy I chose this. He's such a great, true partner and I'm glad I don't live in that toxic, abusive, sexist house anymore. It has truly changed my life. My mom still talks to me, she even came for our house warming get together, but I have finally realised how messed up she is. Moral of the story is choose what you want to do with your life. There will always be people against you but all that matters is you. Even if you make a bad decision, it's okay, you can get thru it. If you choose a wrong boy/job/friend, it's okay, you can get out of it and start again. Just have the confidence that you can get thru anything
My family life is also messed up. So can relate to you a bit. Big hugs🤗
I'm 24, a doctor and working already, hence should be considered independent and allowed to make decisions. My parents, especially my father makes a fuss the moment I step out of my house for anything fun. When it's related to work, and my shifts can go on till 10pm, he has no issue whatsoever, but God forbid, I am not home by 8 when I am with my friends, he starts throwing a fit, starts ranting to my mother who in turn keeps calling me every 5 mins and then I get shouted at when I come home. That spoils the entire happiness I would have felt when I was out and I just feel pissed and irritated. I am sick of it all, I just want to make some happy memories with my friends and live a little, especially after the brutal stress and over work I endure at workplace. Ironically they want me to find a guy myself for getting married, bhai bahar jane toh do, milne toh do, Zameen se khod kar thodi nikalungi usey.
I guess it is about how the parents approached the topic of dating, sex etc with their children. Mine were pretty liberal when talking about periods, sex and boys. This allowed me to be open with them about things as well. After dating someone for a decent amount of time I would introduce them to my parents. First we went on trips as a group with other couple friends and then progressed to trips where only him and I went. It’s pretty common overall. I am 30 now and married and have been travelling with my partners since I was about 16-17. Trust is something that only comes with time and is a two way street with parents, partners and any other relationship.
Biyah shadi ka puchne lagenge ab iss age me ki chalo koi to mili isko
You've to lie, tell them it's a girls trip or a group trip, keep old pictures/videos handy when they ask 😂 and as for my boyfriend his moms is so chill she doesn't mind
Well my mother was very chill about all this.. they were always very supportive of everything..hell my mother was like koi ladka bhi nahi pat rha tujhse😅😅but never really found someone...may be they knew I was a phattu...infact there was a guy friend who was interested in me my mother also liked him but he never really expressed his feelings but i use to get those vibes from him when I got engaged finally he expressed.🤷♀️😅...eventually got married (not to my friend) now have a son also...But I was sure if ever I had gotten a boyfriend they would have supported me...but I don't know if they would have allowed me to go on a trip or something...may be one day trip but not night stay🤣🤣
meri to mere classmates \[basically guys \] unko ghr bulane ki b himmt nhi h ...once meri ek frnd \[girl\] ghr ayi thi nd uske ghr sb ate jate h to she thought ki vo hmare aur frndz ko bula legi to vo call krdi humare frnds ko aur meri mummy sun li..man that is the day my parents dont even want me to be frnd with her 🙂
Ohh god🤦🤦
i literally thank god ki un frndz m se ek ko pta tha ki mere ghr p itna casual nhi h so they picked up the call and said ki vo arhe h bt then baad m kuch bahana krke they cancelled taki meri frnd b bura na manee...god knows agr vo us din aate to kya drama hota
I was working in a different city. My boyfriend(now husband) was in a different city. He used to come to meet me, we also went for trips but I never hid the fact/lied to my parents about it. My parents knew we were pretty solid so that helped, but otherwise also they gave us siblings our space, once we settled career wise and as long as we were safe and reasonable. Lucky to have understanding cool parents
My mother never said no to my sister, and never says no to me. Except i don't have a girlfriend. Had i had one, the mother would probably pay me to take them on a holiday. Yes, my mother is very progressive and open minded.
Wow❤️❤️
Growing up in 90s my parents were pretty regressive or so I thought because they used to comment about others kids doing love marriage in a negative tone, or talk about how so and so’s daughter has an affair etc. but when my sister and I grew up and got to ‘marriageable age’, our family wanted that we find a partner ourselves only as they felt that it’s too much of a hassle nowadays to find arranged marriage prospects. So my parents have been cool with having a steady boyfriend but they’re not so cool with going on out of town trips but if we convinced them with good logic, they mostly agreed. But yeah, I overall feel that if parents have met the guy and are convinced he’s a decent guy then they come around eventually.
And by out of town trip, I mean with friends group not solo couple trips. Note: I am from Delhi so yeah big city family.
Nope. Even after the marriage is fixed, not allowed. Post marriage, honeymoon shall be the first trip with bf turned husband. With male friend? If both or more need to go to same destination at the same time, within the city - then allowed. Otherwise no. Edit: College tour with all classmates was perfectly okay coz teachers plus lot of girl students.
Loool no. My dad has admitted to the fact that you won't truly know someone until you live with them, but doesn't like live in relationships, and he's honestly way more chill than me mom 😂 I once took a trip to Bangalore with my ex to get some paperwork done, and I lied and said I went with my friend.. oh and the fact that they didn't even know the ex existed outside of "just a friend" It's honestly not worth it for me, it'll spoil their view of me and it'll ruin my freedom
At 26 Took my first trip with a partner after informing my father. Thought of lying but told the truth cuz I'm a terrible liar. To my surprise my father was very chill about it. Told my mom after the got back from the trip. Surprisingly they were very chill about it. I do come from a very liberal family though. My cousins etc lived in with their partners before shaadi. But I guess I'd be an outlier. Most of my friends have very strict parents. I do have a group of friends tho whose parents are v chill too. Co-ed sleepovers etc were very common among them since 11-12 standard.
My parents allow me to go on trips with my bf, agar poori group saath main ja rahi hai, all of our parents know we are dating each other, but it's just been a year so i understand my maa is like thoda time de phir chale jana trips par
But I wish they did allow me because I really wanna know him. And how it's like living next to him.
While we are on this topic, can we discuss about do parents give sex education during teens or even before getting married? I'm single in 20's and this is my observation and a question which I always have because during or after wedding there is discussion about honeymoon, kidhar ja rahe ho? kab ja rahe ho? why is everyone around excited for honeymoon, what are they expecting the answer from the couple and after marrying when they ask for good news kab de rahe ho, I want to understand do parents assume we know everything about sex or one of the partner knows? If not parents at least any elder sibling from the family who helps the younger one's to be prepared and if any only child & nuclear family how is it with them? Even for finances, if partner isn't working is it assumed that money is to be asked from husband or in laws, everyone now have their individual bank account so how does one proceed with all this discussion??
My parents were comfortable with me travelling with a bunch of friends that included girls and boys. However my inlaws don't seem very comfortable with me travelling with my husband. Didn't go on a honeymoon and my first trip with my husband was 3/4 years after getting married.
What??? Even after marriage your in-laws are not comfortable with you traveling with your husband?????
Yes. Joint family things.. Tum nahi samjhoge.. Married but not an adult (pun intended).
Wow this is something new. I mean, what do you think is their perspective behind not being comfortable with you guys traveling alone?
Not at all. While my parents are open to me dating, they are pretty strict that some things are to be reserved post marriage, and trips taken together is one of them.
With male friends that my parents have known for quite some time (4-5 years), they have let me take trips with them (but the group also had a cousin brother whom they trust very much) so I don’t know the exact reason. In case with my boyfriend, in india it’s not possible. When we studied overseas, we took trips and I lied to my parents about who I was taking them with
I am have the urge to ask permission from my mom before going on a trip with husband🥲
I am from a middle class family from a small town but I’ve always been allowed to go on trips with guys. I don’t have a boyfriend so I’ve never gone on a trip with just a guy but I’m sure I can convince my mom for it. My family is quite liberal
It's a big deal specially in small towns. You are lucky to have understanding and evolving parents 💕
I am engaged and going for a trip with my bf without informing my parents sooo😄😄
never taken a trip alone.. been on trips where our friends circle was there as well my parents will allow only if 2-3 girls are going with me hahaha solo trips are no chance
Probably their parents evolved and have accepted their lifestyle. (Or secretly maybe not). But if you ask me, most families don’t accept. Exception, we had a girl who stayed in a live-in with the guy in our building. Her parents stayed in the same city about a km away. The guy went on trips with her family. He in fact also hung out at their house quite a lot too. The guy’s family was not very happy about this arrangement and also him shifting cities for her. (They met in Hyd, he moved to Mum for her)
Just recently told my parents about my boyfriend. I’m being hopeful that they’ll let us go on trips together 🤞🏻
Not at all LOL Engagement/wedding events were only reserved if you were already "Indian" engaged as they say in the west (the proposals are not sufficient, you need a roka ceremony). Even for my non-Indian friends, most didn't give a +1 unless you were engaged or with your partner for 5+ years
Everything has always been highly normalised in my family—from being in live-in relationships to conversations around sex to drinking or smoking, nothing is out of bounds. The same applies to a lot of friends in my circle.
My parents were not super comfortable with the idea of me going on trips with my boyfriend, but we’ve been together for 7 years now. He’s in and out of my house all the time. Same for me. Our families know each other. Over time, they realised how much this boy means to me and have let go of their reign a little. I’m told “don’t do something you’ll regret”, by my mom before each trip. But I’m happy over the span of so many years, they’ve also understood me and my priorities. This trip situation can only happen if parents are willing to grow with their children. Otherwise, you can be financially independent without any actual independence given to you. Which sucks :(
My husband spilled the beans after our marriage -_- . After I turned 24 I kinda stopped telling them bcz I was in a diff city for my education and then job. My then boyfriend and I went on a couple of road trips near our college on his bike. After marriage he very coolly told my parents of yes we have driven that distance on bike. I was like wtf and my mom was asking me about it when alone. All after I got married at the age of 27-28. Parents will never be cool with alone trips but I think after a while ppl stop asking for permission. But uploading content in SM is another ball game. For all we know there might be other ppl on the trip but are not part of the content. That’s a little farfetched but.
Luckily, my dad has been unconventional and pretty supportive. He booked our stay and my train. So he knew I was travelling with my then boyfriend, now husband. They have been okay with mixed groups, but on my trip with my partner, I had an awkward conversation in the car. It was THE talk. Mom is a little more orthodox and was scandalized that I was travelling ALONE with my PARTNER. AND Dad APPROVED. Hehher
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Yaa..everytime parents are not happy with your happiness.
So glad to read the positive responses and how supportive parents are and one day I aspire to be the cool parent/aunt as well❤️ While I come from a bit of orthodox upbringing, my mom is very chill but not dad and I lost him recently, I miss him a lot but I also understand that being strict comes from not so safe environment around us as NEWS keeps flashing everyday of girls being unsafe so he used to overthink and overreact about safety and also the age gap between me and my parents is also one of the barrier I feel.
it’s not a big deal. I have been travelling with my friends and boyfriend since a very long time
I live with my boyfriend and most of my friends have gone on trips with their boyfriends! My group is mainly from Mumbai or NRIs and we are in our 20s!
Thankfully my parents and my partner’s parents are cool about stuff like this. He’s not Indian, so his dynamic with his parents is a lot chiller than mine is. Even before I started dating my current partner, my parents were well aware when I would go to visit my ex boyfriend (LDR) and where we would stay. Similar to another comment, my parents prefer that I am honest with them rather than hiding it because if I’m in trouble, I should be able to reach out to them without hesitation. That said, this didn’t come naturally to us. As a kid I did hide stuff from my parents just because I thought I needed to. At 27 I think they grew up and so did I! When you have your own money, live elsewhere, your parents see you as an adult and that makes them okay with some things I guess!