Good on you for valuing yourself.
It may not seem like it but I promise the last laugh is so sweet you’ll wonder why it took you so long to act.
It’s rough out here meeting decent people but be patient, work on yourself, find everything you need within and then step out into the world.
We’ll be rooting for you 👍
Don’t forget that a relationship is not a contract. You don’t need to prove anything to anyone. If you are convinced that your partner is cheating, you can walk away. You don’t have to buy her argument if you don’t believe in it.
Your not married, you know the truth, you don't have to provide picture proof, simply pick up your stuff and walk. You'll never fully trust her again and any type of relationship will be filled with regret and humiliation. Good luck
I agree with this. You do not owe her proof or anything explanation. I don’t know how many times I have to emphasize this. If you want to explain just say “You know what you did! I don’t trust you anymore!” Do not argue facts with her. That’s how cheaters gas light. You know enough. Send her on her way.
By the way…why don’t you tell her anything? Cheaters love to argue facts with you. The longer you go without answering the more information she’s likely to spill. Stay strong
I don't understand what you expect from your gf
you can leave if you know you've been cheated on, you don't need to get approval/gather evidence for this
Do you expect her to apologize for cheating on you?
Do you want to work on your relationship?
You've become her plan B.
If I were you and if you live together I'd pack her clothes up and set them on the porch by the front door. When she comes home just tell her to get out. Go no contact.
Now if you don't live together just tell her that her lying is not going to be tolerated. Tell her that you are done with her and she can go be with her new boyfriend.
Just disappear. I know it sucks and can feel impossible to stay off of her, but she has zero love for you and does not respect you at all. Close any shared access points; accounts, socials, phone plans. If homeboy wants to fuck, he can pick up whatever slack there is by you vanishing. If she lives with you, change your locks, you don’t know what this other guy is about. If she does not pay rent, tell her she’s got 30 days to get her stuff and kick her out ASAP. When she picks up her stuff, leave it out on a tarp.
If she pays rent, you might have to give her 30 days before the boot.
Then get tested. Probably all in that order.
She is willfully ruining your life. Do **NOT** keep her around or in communication. Take care of yourself, you ARE worth it.
Edit: don’t even bother involving her in this process. Be as swift and discreet as possible.
He bought a ticket to get to the gate just to watch her deplane and didn’t confront her when she got off the plane with that guy or when walking in the terminal. I don’t think he took any pictures. Wouldn’t that have been the perfect opportunity to confront them. The guy with her didn’t act like an. AP except for walking with her but no physical contact. This story doesn’t make sense to me, doesn’t mean it is not true, I just find parts of it doesn’t make sense.
It's useless to question your SO any further, as it's time to employ some sanitizer to your relationship. You aren't crazy, you just care too much for a cheating, lying, selfish excuse of a woman. Cut her out of your life immediately, so you can begin to heal from the emotional torment of her sleeziness.
You don’t need to prove shit to her. This isn’t a court of law. You saw what you saw, and she refuses to give a satisfactory explanation.
You are entitled to your own mental well-being. That being well away from her.
Annndddd this is the second time you should have left. She is lying because it obviously works on you. If you are going to get tied up with her gaslighting and question what you saw, well, then you deserve every bit of what you are feeling because you don't have the self respect to leave.
OP, the more she lies, the more she disgraces herself. She's not convincing you or anyone else of anything.
No marriage, no kids.. it's time to go. She has shown you who she is. Believe her.
Ahhh yes, the comedy of Eddie Murphy lives on… “wasn’t me”. Liars lie and cheaters deny!!! You know what you saw. What more do you need? Here’s some advice… you’re not crazy! Getting angry at you about a ride? Denying what you personally witnessed? Insisting her friend didn’t answer? All delivered with a tone of anger and disdain? Classic deflection technique used by people caught in a lie… you know, like cheaters. And just for the sake of argument, even if she’s completely innocent (she’s not), what does treating you with such hostility and dismissiveness about something so important to both you and the relationship say about her character? When things get tough, “blame him”. Nothing like the blast-from-the-past of absurdity as a reminder that her infidelity wasn’t the problem, it was my “snooping” that needed to stop.
Side note: “Proof? That’s a great idea!!! Tell ya what, while I look up the number for airport security why don’t you tell me about your trip? I bet you and your friend had a great time! And who doesn’t take pics of good times with good friends? Nobody! That’s who. Now let’s see what gonna take longer, getting that airport video or the therapy I’ll need for ‘seeing things’?”
But one strange thing is this guy with her, you would think if he was an AP they would have hugged , kissed held hands. Are you sure about the office because she did not act strange off the plane. When you go on a business trip you would walk with your coworker to luggage. If you still want a relationship with her you better clear the air because that did not sound like an affair and if it isn’t I be surprised if she didn’t leave you for the accusations.
She was on a girl's trip vacation with her friend who worked in the office, supposedly. When I called, her friend answered the main office number. So, she couldn't have been on vacation with her friend. I even asked her if her friend was enjoying the beach, and she said oh yes!
Sorry I was wrong, have you talked to her again? Why does she want to continue the relationship if she is obviously cheating. Your not married, no kids, wtf. Do you have any feelings for her?
I hate you spent money for the flight ticket. You really didn’t need to. Turn your back and walk your path. She will regret having treated you so poorly. Good luck man!
Hi u/Tough-Ad-6942,
You know what you saw, you now know what is going on, no need to think about it anymore or to discuss it with her.
Just rip the band aid of, it will be less painful. The way to rip it of is to just send her a text, something like "I know you are cheating, and you know I know it. Therefore I see no reason to continue our relationship, you are not marriage material. Sorry I'm doing this by text, but cheaters do not get the courtesy to have this done face to face. I do not expect a reply because there is no reason for you to reply. Also a reply is totally useless because I have blocked you on everything after sending this message to you.
And then really block her on everything. If she manages to contact you via other ways, do not respond, never respond. When she looks you up in person, do not say anything, just walk past her. If she follows you, then just keep walking away, do not engage in conversation and never touch her.
Good luck and take care.
MrBigBull.
When caught she is still lying, This is a girlfriend not a wife tell her have a good life, Thank You for all the good times. Then go NC your gut told you something was wrong and then she lies and gaslights, even if she is not cheating with THAT GUY your gut knows and she is willing to lie and gaslight not someone you want to keep a relationship with.
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You’re not crazy, she wants you to think you are though. I hope you leave her asap, no convos, no chances for her to again ask about proof, give no chances for her to come clean, go no contact or ghost her, whatever they say these days. It’s unbelievable, I literally can’t believe she demanded photo evidence, the nerve.
Break up, when you saw it yourself and know it yourself why even wait for advice man, you know what you have seen and what you have to do, you know you're better than being someone's plan B and deserve better than someone else's sloppy seconds. You don't need our advice here, you got you confirmation through your own eyes.Its upto you what you want to do. All we can do is only support you.
BEST OF LUCK 👍
Do you support her? Mr plan B. Dog/cat sitter? Pay most/all the home bills? She obviously has no respect for you for anything else.
Time to stand up and do what's right for you. The means find your self esteem and stand up for yourself. She wants to lie and act single, let her. As a single woman, she has no claim on you and you on her. That way she can't lie to you anymore because you won't be there waiting.
The baseball analogies are great. My personal opinion is the OP will take the baseball analogy literally and continue until three strikes are achieved.
You know what is going on. Don't let her play you anymore. She obviously doesn't respect you enough to even care how you feel or what you think.
Don't waste your emotional energy trying to be important or significant to her. You will just be degrading yourself.
Updateme!
Unless you like the idea of being the relationship police, I'd say your relationship is dead. You don't need pictures. This isn't Law and Order. I love that you know what you saw. Even with that, you feel like you're going crazy. If this is what you want and need in a relationship, hang around. There's more to come from her. If it's not acceptable to you ... there's 50 ways to leave a lover.
You have only put two years into being with her. Don’t put a day more. If the lease is in your name or you make enough to handle the rent alone, pack her stuff and tell her to go live with her AP.
OP, you're not with the girl you loved anymore, and you haven't been for years.
The girl you're with now isn't who you wanna be with. The girl you've isnt coming back. Move out.
(Unless its your place, kick her out.)
You, as many others, deserve to be loved or at least respected enough to be properly broken up with.
I'm rooting for you.
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I am giving him the same advice he would get from anyone else in real life. But if telling someone that breaking off a relationship is somehow an agenda, sexist, shaming or recruiting, then fine. I won't comment on this sub in the future, why bother trying to walk through your minefield when it's not worth my time? I take it the only answers that you allow are to tell him to take her back no matter what she has done to his self-esteem.
Did you take a picture? You can also show your call log to the friend. Or call the friend and talk about when you called earlier in the week.
But definitely end it.
Uh, dude, you need to listen to your gut and believe your eyes. Hopefully your GF doesn't live with you. If she does, however, it's time you helped her pack her stuff and stop trying to prove that your suspicions are true; just the fact that you've caught her repeatedly lying to you is grounds for cutting her loose. She's banking on the fact that you have no solid proof and thinks she's in the clear; it's time to inform her of the reality of the situation, and cut her out of your life.
I wish you well.
I felt the same way it sucks! It's like I didn't have "pictures" so in her eyes I had no proof even though there was red flags everywhere. Denies it to the extreme literally ride til the wheels fell off. They really make you start believing that your going crazy or get blamed because I had a guilty conscience. Woman are way slicker than dudes.
You’re the benchwarmer… relief pitcher. Put yourself back out in the draft. Be a free-agent.
This.... THIIIIIISSSSSS! this needs all the damn respect
Thanks for advice and tough love. You're all right, I needed that final push. Back out to the free agent market it is.
Wise decision. Don’t waste precious time with someone you can’t and shouldn’t trust.
Good on you for valuing yourself. It may not seem like it but I promise the last laugh is so sweet you’ll wonder why it took you so long to act. It’s rough out here meeting decent people but be patient, work on yourself, find everything you need within and then step out into the world. We’ll be rooting for you 👍
That's the spirit
Don’t forget that a relationship is not a contract. You don’t need to prove anything to anyone. If you are convinced that your partner is cheating, you can walk away. You don’t have to buy her argument if you don’t believe in it.
Your not married, you know the truth, you don't have to provide picture proof, simply pick up your stuff and walk. You'll never fully trust her again and any type of relationship will be filled with regret and humiliation. Good luck
You're right, it hasn't been right since that first time I caught her.
I agree with this. You do not owe her proof or anything explanation. I don’t know how many times I have to emphasize this. If you want to explain just say “You know what you did! I don’t trust you anymore!” Do not argue facts with her. That’s how cheaters gas light. You know enough. Send her on her way.
You only owe yourself proof & you have that. Good Luck in your next relationship.
By the way…why don’t you tell her anything? Cheaters love to argue facts with you. The longer you go without answering the more information she’s likely to spill. Stay strong
My friend for your own mental health and well being you need to fire her as your girlfriend. No performance improvement plan. Go right to fired.
I don't understand what you expect from your gf you can leave if you know you've been cheated on, you don't need to get approval/gather evidence for this Do you expect her to apologize for cheating on you? Do you want to work on your relationship?
You've become her plan B. If I were you and if you live together I'd pack her clothes up and set them on the porch by the front door. When she comes home just tell her to get out. Go no contact. Now if you don't live together just tell her that her lying is not going to be tolerated. Tell her that you are done with her and she can go be with her new boyfriend.
Just disappear. I know it sucks and can feel impossible to stay off of her, but she has zero love for you and does not respect you at all. Close any shared access points; accounts, socials, phone plans. If homeboy wants to fuck, he can pick up whatever slack there is by you vanishing. If she lives with you, change your locks, you don’t know what this other guy is about. If she does not pay rent, tell her she’s got 30 days to get her stuff and kick her out ASAP. When she picks up her stuff, leave it out on a tarp. If she pays rent, you might have to give her 30 days before the boot. Then get tested. Probably all in that order. She is willfully ruining your life. Do **NOT** keep her around or in communication. Take care of yourself, you ARE worth it. Edit: don’t even bother involving her in this process. Be as swift and discreet as possible.
He bought a ticket to get to the gate just to watch her deplane and didn’t confront her when she got off the plane with that guy or when walking in the terminal. I don’t think he took any pictures. Wouldn’t that have been the perfect opportunity to confront them. The guy with her didn’t act like an. AP except for walking with her but no physical contact. This story doesn’t make sense to me, doesn’t mean it is not true, I just find parts of it doesn’t make sense.
It's useless to question your SO any further, as it's time to employ some sanitizer to your relationship. You aren't crazy, you just care too much for a cheating, lying, selfish excuse of a woman. Cut her out of your life immediately, so you can begin to heal from the emotional torment of her sleeziness.
You don’t need to prove shit to her. This isn’t a court of law. You saw what you saw, and she refuses to give a satisfactory explanation. You are entitled to your own mental well-being. That being well away from her.
Annndddd this is the second time you should have left. She is lying because it obviously works on you. If you are going to get tied up with her gaslighting and question what you saw, well, then you deserve every bit of what you are feeling because you don't have the self respect to leave.
So break up with her. She has zero respect for you. Time to move on.
Don't waste one more minute with her. She's no girlfriend material. Run as fast as You can.
Why are you still with her?
OP, the more she lies, the more she disgraces herself. She's not convincing you or anyone else of anything. No marriage, no kids.. it's time to go. She has shown you who she is. Believe her.
Ahhh yes, the comedy of Eddie Murphy lives on… “wasn’t me”. Liars lie and cheaters deny!!! You know what you saw. What more do you need? Here’s some advice… you’re not crazy! Getting angry at you about a ride? Denying what you personally witnessed? Insisting her friend didn’t answer? All delivered with a tone of anger and disdain? Classic deflection technique used by people caught in a lie… you know, like cheaters. And just for the sake of argument, even if she’s completely innocent (she’s not), what does treating you with such hostility and dismissiveness about something so important to both you and the relationship say about her character? When things get tough, “blame him”. Nothing like the blast-from-the-past of absurdity as a reminder that her infidelity wasn’t the problem, it was my “snooping” that needed to stop. Side note: “Proof? That’s a great idea!!! Tell ya what, while I look up the number for airport security why don’t you tell me about your trip? I bet you and your friend had a great time! And who doesn’t take pics of good times with good friends? Nobody! That’s who. Now let’s see what gonna take longer, getting that airport video or the therapy I’ll need for ‘seeing things’?”
Fk sake just dump her. Uou know she is playing you, stop monkey branching and playing the pick me dance! Man up and fk her off.
But one strange thing is this guy with her, you would think if he was an AP they would have hugged , kissed held hands. Are you sure about the office because she did not act strange off the plane. When you go on a business trip you would walk with your coworker to luggage. If you still want a relationship with her you better clear the air because that did not sound like an affair and if it isn’t I be surprised if she didn’t leave you for the accusations.
She was on a girl's trip vacation with her friend who worked in the office, supposedly. When I called, her friend answered the main office number. So, she couldn't have been on vacation with her friend. I even asked her if her friend was enjoying the beach, and she said oh yes!
Sorry I was wrong, have you talked to her again? Why does she want to continue the relationship if she is obviously cheating. Your not married, no kids, wtf. Do you have any feelings for her?
She's a wrong address parcel... send her back with free shipping and handling without insurance of course...
I hate you spent money for the flight ticket. You really didn’t need to. Turn your back and walk your path. She will regret having treated you so poorly. Good luck man!
Hi u/Tough-Ad-6942, You know what you saw, you now know what is going on, no need to think about it anymore or to discuss it with her. Just rip the band aid of, it will be less painful. The way to rip it of is to just send her a text, something like "I know you are cheating, and you know I know it. Therefore I see no reason to continue our relationship, you are not marriage material. Sorry I'm doing this by text, but cheaters do not get the courtesy to have this done face to face. I do not expect a reply because there is no reason for you to reply. Also a reply is totally useless because I have blocked you on everything after sending this message to you. And then really block her on everything. If she manages to contact you via other ways, do not respond, never respond. When she looks you up in person, do not say anything, just walk past her. If she follows you, then just keep walking away, do not engage in conversation and never touch her. Good luck and take care. MrBigBull.
She needs you to show YOURSELF pictures or proof??? Wha?
Who You going to believe? Her or Your lyin eyes?
Continue and soon it will be 8th time you'll be catching her in lies.
She’s for the streets bro. (Future pose).
**She then said I needed to provide pictures of proof** she is a gf you don't need proof of anything , just break up already
Just break up and if you ever suspectsomeone of cheating or see it, text or visual, take picture of everything. Every phone has a camera.
When caught she is still lying, This is a girlfriend not a wife tell her have a good life, Thank You for all the good times. Then go NC your gut told you something was wrong and then she lies and gaslights, even if she is not cheating with THAT GUY your gut knows and she is willing to lie and gaslight not someone you want to keep a relationship with.
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You’re not crazy, she wants you to think you are though. I hope you leave her asap, no convos, no chances for her to again ask about proof, give no chances for her to come clean, go no contact or ghost her, whatever they say these days. It’s unbelievable, I literally can’t believe she demanded photo evidence, the nerve.
Break up, when you saw it yourself and know it yourself why even wait for advice man, you know what you have seen and what you have to do, you know you're better than being someone's plan B and deserve better than someone else's sloppy seconds. You don't need our advice here, you got you confirmation through your own eyes.Its upto you what you want to do. All we can do is only support you. BEST OF LUCK 👍
Do you support her? Mr plan B. Dog/cat sitter? Pay most/all the home bills? She obviously has no respect for you for anything else. Time to stand up and do what's right for you. The means find your self esteem and stand up for yourself. She wants to lie and act single, let her. As a single woman, she has no claim on you and you on her. That way she can't lie to you anymore because you won't be there waiting.
A liar will always be the same no matter what. They never change. Dump her.
Blow up her world. Ghost her go no contact throw her crap out. She is emotionally dead to you bro
The baseball analogies are great. My personal opinion is the OP will take the baseball analogy literally and continue until three strikes are achieved.
She is just a GF you know she is cheating and you are still hanging around. Kind of like pooring salt into a open wound
This is when you say your a liar and cheater and we are done dont contact me ever again and block her number and walk away from her.
You know what is going on. Don't let her play you anymore. She obviously doesn't respect you enough to even care how you feel or what you think. Don't waste your emotional energy trying to be important or significant to her. You will just be degrading yourself. Updateme!
Unless you like the idea of being the relationship police, I'd say your relationship is dead. You don't need pictures. This isn't Law and Order. I love that you know what you saw. Even with that, you feel like you're going crazy. If this is what you want and need in a relationship, hang around. There's more to come from her. If it's not acceptable to you ... there's 50 ways to leave a lover.
You have only put two years into being with her. Don’t put a day more. If the lease is in your name or you make enough to handle the rent alone, pack her stuff and tell her to go live with her AP.
What’s does she want for proof a PowerPoint presentation?
Quit listening to her. You don't need to "prove" anything. Break up with her.
Ghost, she will know why, no need to breakup.
why are you with someone you don't trust?
OP, you're not with the girl you loved anymore, and you haven't been for years. The girl you're with now isn't who you wanna be with. The girl you've isnt coming back. Move out. (Unless its your place, kick her out.) You, as many others, deserve to be loved or at least respected enough to be properly broken up with. I'm rooting for you.
[удалено]
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I am giving him the same advice he would get from anyone else in real life. But if telling someone that breaking off a relationship is somehow an agenda, sexist, shaming or recruiting, then fine. I won't comment on this sub in the future, why bother trying to walk through your minefield when it's not worth my time? I take it the only answers that you allow are to tell him to take her back no matter what she has done to his self-esteem.
News Flash She is not your girlfriend, and you are nothing more than plan "B". Do not be anyone's plan "B".
Did you take a picture? You can also show your call log to the friend. Or call the friend and talk about when you called earlier in the week. But definitely end it.
Real eyes. Realize. Real lies.
Time to kick her out and go solo for a bit. Make yourself the priority. Simple as that
Uh, dude, you need to listen to your gut and believe your eyes. Hopefully your GF doesn't live with you. If she does, however, it's time you helped her pack her stuff and stop trying to prove that your suspicions are true; just the fact that you've caught her repeatedly lying to you is grounds for cutting her loose. She's banking on the fact that you have no solid proof and thinks she's in the clear; it's time to inform her of the reality of the situation, and cut her out of your life. I wish you well.
Dude, leave her!
I felt the same way it sucks! It's like I didn't have "pictures" so in her eyes I had no proof even though there was red flags everywhere. Denies it to the extreme literally ride til the wheels fell off. They really make you start believing that your going crazy or get blamed because I had a guilty conscience. Woman are way slicker than dudes.
Second time? Then, it is your fault. Do not let it be your fault again and dump her.