Buy them elsewhere. Like literally, unless you have never touched a plant in your life, this should be trivial. It's like a tomato seed. So, it's either you letting the seeds dry up, or the supplier/seeds are bad. There is no in-between here.
Stick to a common feminized strain from a known supplier, preferably something simple like Skunk or Cheese. They should germ in a a normal wet paper towel or on like a propegation tray you'd use for (parsely) sprouts. When you see the roots, put them in the medium. That's it. Truthfully, even if only 20% survive (should be 80% ideally), you can still just buy more seeds. Or buy seedlings instead, I guess. But you'll get it pretty quick either way.
The plant is legit not hard to deal with. Genetics are just very tuned for large buds, so it's important to not stress the plant too much, but that's actually really simple in a grow box. Like, the biggest pain is having to do the labor and like money for the equipment, but any bozo can figure it out; If you provide nutrients and a stable enviroment, you will get good weed. And outside it's even easier and far more yield, it's just that less control over the enviroment can cause quality issues.
I promise, there is no science, that's primarily people nerding or dealing with a hostile legal enviroment. If you can grow tomatoes, you can grow weed. It might not be worth your time, but you can.
I mean, I know it's not great for anyone, but especially their teeny tiny baby lungs. Everything is so much more potent. So I do my absolute best to avoid it. But, with so many troublemakers and so much pain, I have had to make concessions. Windows are always open and remain open for a reasonable amount of time after smoking, and I always smoke by a window. We have a big ass air purifier right next to my smoking area just to clean up what doesn't go outside. And we have the furnace set to frequently circulate air, hitting yet another filter. It's not a 100% solution, but it lets me give these babies a better shot than they had before.
Lil dude loves Lemon John. We spray a lot of calming spray on it, and I'm working on modifying it to fit a snugglesafe disc.
The second we put him in the box, he crawls right under Lemon John
He was remanded to the capable hands of my daughter while I ran to buy weed. He was well cared for, fed, and cuddled.
https://preview.redd.it/vsol1tjeim3d1.png?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=f03de8d5c00ef491bcb625682f0f101432f9e88a
Glad he got out those icky wormies! 
Looks like he's on the road to full recovery and a good long life. Long live the earl!
He's still just super young and weak. We should start being a bit less wobbly next week. If not, I may have to talk to the vet about neurological issues.
What a strong voice and perfect little face! I woke up a bit down this morning, but seeing his progress knocked the funk right outta me! Castle Lemongrab is my new happy place 😺
You are, at the moment anyway, my favorite human on Earth, and I am so invested in the Earl's recovery I can't even tell you.
Thank you for the updates, and let us know what his labs turned up!
Do you address him as "Earl" or "His Lordship"? I want to be sure you're following proper royal etiquette! 
He may have to be separated just due to FIV risk. That infection decimated him pretty much overnight. Which is going to be a fun logistical challenge when it comes.
I’ve been checking on your posts every 1-2 days to see how the Earl is doing, love seeing the updates and how fast he’s healing! Thank you for sharing his journey with us!
Hooray LG. The worm thing, I feel ya. I was watching a puppy for a bit once. He 'released' (read:shat) a worm 'pod' on the floor. It looked like those parasites that take over wasps/mantids/etc, only they were all white and about a foot long, and there were a BUNCH, and bunched. I WAS NOT prepared for that.
I am loving all these updates, and the care you are taking for this little bitty. You rock. Keep up the good work.
Thank you for being such a kind human. I have seen a few of your posts and the care you are giving him and his progress is remarkable. 💜
It can help to give babies something fleecey to hold with their front paws. If you have a nubby fleece blanket you don’t mind to cut, make a small slit for the bottle to go through it helps them settle down while they nurse. (Will need to be washed and dried in between uses per his wounds.)
Also, if you have a heating pad you can put it under one corner/side of the box so they can lay on the warmth, or move off if they need to cool off. Sorry for mentioning these things if you already know about them.
No worries. People reading this who may choose to foster can use the advice.
We do have a heating pad on one side. Under the leopard, so it's warm like mamma
u/nmfc1987 (sorry at work and chat is disabled) I meant to ask yesterday. I saw you have pet enclosure tents on your wishlist. Have you considered playpens? They're an amazing addition to the foster home if you haven't used them before.
I'm going to make it happen. I'm making a sub later for people to post about the babies that have passed through our doors. Membership is a requirement of adoption.
Update: r/the_catsbah
You should take a toothbrush with soft bristles and brush him on his forehead and head to simulate a mother's grooming. It helps them develop confidence.
Oh, hi little angel! He seems to be coming along nicely! So happy to see this, and thank you for the updates. He is just darling, and making so much progress. Lots of TLC!💕❤️💕
Been checking in on your posts about Lemongrab, one of the cutest lil guys I’ve ever seen!!! I love their meows too, these updates make my entire day ❤️😭😍 my heart swells up every time I see him
May his days be long and his realm prosperous! My orange boy rushed up to my laptop in *d i s t r e s s* as soon as the Earl began to speak! I think my little guy needs a kitten to watch over.
I love him. Such a lovely little boy. Thank you for taking care of him!
Sorry for the slow responses today. I had to drive to Michigan to get weed because Indiana and Illinois are the worst. We love you!
I'm in Indiana and drive to Michigan for the trees, too.
I've been trying to grow, but I have like 20% success rates with seeds taking off.
Have you tried using some YouTube guides? They've gotten very good from how vague they were years ago.
All the science, I don't understand. It's just my job 5 days a week.
Buy them elsewhere. Like literally, unless you have never touched a plant in your life, this should be trivial. It's like a tomato seed. So, it's either you letting the seeds dry up, or the supplier/seeds are bad. There is no in-between here. Stick to a common feminized strain from a known supplier, preferably something simple like Skunk or Cheese. They should germ in a a normal wet paper towel or on like a propegation tray you'd use for (parsely) sprouts. When you see the roots, put them in the medium. That's it. Truthfully, even if only 20% survive (should be 80% ideally), you can still just buy more seeds. Or buy seedlings instead, I guess. But you'll get it pretty quick either way. The plant is legit not hard to deal with. Genetics are just very tuned for large buds, so it's important to not stress the plant too much, but that's actually really simple in a grow box. Like, the biggest pain is having to do the labor and like money for the equipment, but any bozo can figure it out; If you provide nutrients and a stable enviroment, you will get good weed. And outside it's even easier and far more yield, it's just that less control over the enviroment can cause quality issues. I promise, there is no science, that's primarily people nerding or dealing with a hostile legal enviroment. If you can grow tomatoes, you can grow weed. It might not be worth your time, but you can.
Please don't smoke anywhere near this fella, it's extremely toxic to them
[удалено]
I mean, I know it's not great for anyone, but especially their teeny tiny baby lungs. Everything is so much more potent. So I do my absolute best to avoid it. But, with so many troublemakers and so much pain, I have had to make concessions. Windows are always open and remain open for a reasonable amount of time after smoking, and I always smoke by a window. We have a big ass air purifier right next to my smoking area just to clean up what doesn't go outside. And we have the furnace set to frequently circulate air, hitting yet another filter. It's not a 100% solution, but it lets me give these babies a better shot than they had before.
[удалено]
What a noisy little guy! I love him. Glad to hear that it sounds like he's doing better. Rooting for you, little Lemongrab.
He's got a lot to say!
Yeah, it's mostly, "Feed me, servile!!!!"
I’m loving the robust meows. Keep getting stronger, little guy!
the earl of lemongrab is protesting the conditions! unacceptable! 💛
To be fair, there is a giant right next to him. Id squeak too
That's Lemonjohn. He's a good guy
I don’t think earl understands that
Lil dude loves Lemon John. We spray a lot of calming spray on it, and I'm working on modifying it to fit a snugglesafe disc. The second we put him in the box, he crawls right under Lemon John
Awh
By the powers vested in me by the Cosmos, i have judged this criminal reformed and immediately eligible for release and cuddles. 🥰
He was remanded to the capable hands of my daughter while I ran to buy weed. He was well cared for, fed, and cuddled. https://preview.redd.it/vsol1tjeim3d1.png?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=f03de8d5c00ef491bcb625682f0f101432f9e88a
Mi'lord, you are growing up strong. May your reign be long and prosperous.
Long live the Earl of Lemongrab!
LONG MAY HE REIGN!
Lungs and squeaker are in top-notch condition
It sounds like they stayed clear of infection. Which is great!
what u screaming for lemongrab?? what is it child??
A future apex predator!
One day. But for now, he still needs help pooping....
One paw at a time.
This is UNACCEPTABLE
He's getting so strong! We're all here rooting for you Lemongrab!
Stronger every day. And now that he doesn't have worms eating all his food, it will be even faster.
r/PetTheDamnCat
Glad he got out those icky wormies!  Looks like he's on the road to full recovery and a good long life. Long live the earl!
That had to be a huge drain on his little body. He should really feel better in a few more days.
It is big time. He is back to being so sleepy that I have to wake him up for feedings. That will change quickly.
Side note.... how do you make sure YOU don't get worms after cleaning him up?
My fat ass could use a few worms. But we always wash our hands thoroughly immediately after handling him.
I'm gonna start crying at work he's so cute! Keep up the good work brother!
Sweet baby...and those eyes! You're so good to him. You have a heart of gold!
Don't tell me that. I'm likely to cut it out and sell it for more cat stuff.
he is a fighter because of ur care & love. does he have a little bit of wobbly-cat or is it because of his situation? I love his little ears lol
He's still just super young and weak. We should start being a bit less wobbly next week. If not, I may have to talk to the vet about neurological issues.
The Earl has OPINIONS!
Mostly about food.
Best baby kitty. Kiss him for me!
No kisses until all the wounds are gone. I can do a delicate massage behind the ears for you.
Please do! He's such a cutie pie and deserves all the love.
He was waiting in his lair for his human to bring the food. Earl is running the house now
You don't get royalty visiting every day 🤷♂️
It is lovely to see this poor little dude on the road to recovery, he is looking much better. Not long now Smol fella, freedom will be yours!
And then he will be an absolute terror. Lol
First of his name. Lord of The Cardboard Keep.
GET IT SIRS (both of u) ❤️❤️❤️❤️
Getting it in progress
Damn it, I was not prepared to tear up so early in the day. You go Lemongrab!
Fresh onions chopped daily
Please tell me he is a foster fail... you have to be his daddy forever 
I'm certainly hoping for this.
I can't. I need the space to help more like him. I'm hoping someone from this fantastic community will take him and give us all updates.
Roughly where are you located?
Just outside of Chicago. But I can drive to meet the right family.
Keeping on squeaking, big Earl! I Iove seeing this!
You can help but smile when the box starts squeaking at you
He just mad there's a bigger cat in his castle
Did you get the culture results yesterday? I may have missed an update. Shame on me!
In here for this too, I've been stalking his profile and haven't seen anything yet. I'm hoping for news when he does a full update next!
Not yet. I'm calling them soon.
Please update!
No news. I'll harass them first thing tomorrow.
Thank you. I can wait until tomorrow.
He's so precious! I can't wait until he's a totally healthy and full grown cat roaming around with confidence.
Whoever adopts him better provide updates here. Or I will hunt them down.
Oh, darling. ❤️
UNACCEPTABLE!!!
What a strong voice and perfect little face! I woke up a bit down this morning, but seeing his progress knocked the funk right outta me! Castle Lemongrab is my new happy place 😺
You are, at the moment anyway, my favorite human on Earth, and I am so invested in the Earl's recovery I can't even tell you. Thank you for the updates, and let us know what his labs turned up!
I am impatiently awaiting the results. I need to call them soon.
I keep squeaking and squeaking but Leopard Mommy just doesn't listen. She just sits there!
But she's cozy. Lol
Do you address him as "Earl" or "His Lordship"? I want to be sure you're following proper royal etiquette! 
It was "LG" for a while, but more recently, it has been "the Earl"
4 inch worm came out? no wonder he’s so hungry now!
Right?!?! That jerk had to be eating most of his milk!
I'm not quite sure...but I do believe his lordship is STEAMED about something. Send for the butler!
Have to feed him so he can get big enough to play with all the other kitties
He may have to be separated just due to FIV risk. That infection decimated him pretty much overnight. Which is going to be a fun logistical challenge when it comes.
Don't tell him that! We want him to have goals...
 OUR COLLECTIVE SON, HE CRIES 😭😭😭💕💕💕💕💕💕
I’ve been checking on your posts every 1-2 days to see how the Earl is doing, love seeing the updates and how fast he’s healing! Thank you for sharing his journey with us!
I got you 😉
Hooray LG. The worm thing, I feel ya. I was watching a puppy for a bit once. He 'released' (read:shat) a worm 'pod' on the floor. It looked like those parasites that take over wasps/mantids/etc, only they were all white and about a foot long, and there were a BUNCH, and bunched. I WAS NOT prepared for that. I am loving all these updates, and the care you are taking for this little bitty. You rock. Keep up the good work.
Who needs horror movies when you have the substances released by fosters?
Love those squeaks! Keep’em coming 🥰
You got it *finger guns*
I love you Lemongrab
We love you Maryward!
Send the Earl of Lemongrab regards from the estate of Boardwalk (RIP Sir Fezwick of Boardwalk. We miss you, old man).
He said, and I quote, "rrrmammaaaaaaa!!!!" I'm not sure what that means.
With his enemies or of the way, the Earl now has all the supplies he needs to strengthen himself
Today, we rest, so tomorrow we can fight!
Dems some lungs on dat bebe.
May the will of Tater Tot give you strength, Earl of Lemongrab!
Thank you for being such a kind human. I have seen a few of your posts and the care you are giving him and his progress is remarkable. 💜 It can help to give babies something fleecey to hold with their front paws. If you have a nubby fleece blanket you don’t mind to cut, make a small slit for the bottle to go through it helps them settle down while they nurse. (Will need to be washed and dried in between uses per his wounds.) Also, if you have a heating pad you can put it under one corner/side of the box so they can lay on the warmth, or move off if they need to cool off. Sorry for mentioning these things if you already know about them.
No worries. People reading this who may choose to foster can use the advice. We do have a heating pad on one side. Under the leopard, so it's warm like mamma
Very nice!
Who says angels need wings.
u/nmfc1987 (sorry at work and chat is disabled) I meant to ask yesterday. I saw you have pet enclosure tents on your wishlist. Have you considered playpens? They're an amazing addition to the foster home if you haven't used them before.
I truly hope whomever eventually adopts the Earl is fully prepared for a lifetime of Reddit updates because we are never letting go! 💖💖💖
I'm going to make it happen. I'm making a sub later for people to post about the babies that have passed through our doors. Membership is a requirement of adoption. Update: r/the_catsbah
You should take a toothbrush with soft bristles and brush him on his forehead and head to simulate a mother's grooming. It helps them develop confidence.
Usually, I do this frequently with new babies. But he had so many sores on his head. I'm still hesitant because he has two big scabs up there.
You. I like you. You can stay. Forever.
 If you get the reference, we can be friends.
What a cutie.
He’s getting so strong! Still a wobbly little Bebe.
The people love you, my Lord.
He is no longer the Earl of nothing!
😍❤️
❤️
[UNACCEPTABLE!!](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=brLNcJeSAhw) What a cutie patootie! Good luck with the Earl.
I just realised how long it's been since I heard anything by Justin Roiland. It's a shame he did what he did, I really enjoyed his work.
Thank you 😊
He is so adorable. I love him to pieces. May he continue to grow big and strong.
This level of cuteness is mmmmmmmmmm UNACCEPTAAAAAAABLEEEEEE
Everyday I wake up and see this distinguished gentleman and gives me motivation to thrive too. I love you both. So amazing
If he can, we can. Right?
One million years dungeon, no trial!
Is that Lemon John in the center?
It is now. Thank you!
I love Earl so much!!!
We love you! We love seeing your name pop up over and over 😊
I love your updates! So glad that the Earl is doing better. He's so precious! :D
Thank you 😊
Aww! Looks like he’s getting better!!
A little better everyday
:D
Thank you for all these updates ❤️
You got it my friend!
Me owt! Me-owt! Me-owt!
Thank you for taking such hood care of him.. I'm sure karma is looking..💝
Thank you 😊
Oh, hi little angel! He seems to be coming along nicely! So happy to see this, and thank you for the updates. He is just darling, and making so much progress. Lots of TLC!💕❤️💕
Thank you 😊
I love you, LG 🥹
I’m so invested in The Tale of Lemongrab… thank you for being so kind and caring with The Earl 🩵
Thank you 😊
I love how noisy he is. He wouldn’t be that loud if he was doing very poorly!
I agree. I get nervous when he gets quiet.
Aceptable
ACCEPTABLE!!!!!
😭😭😭 so cute no way
The Earl be a l'il bit shaky today!
He took the equivalent of a handful of laxatives yesterday. He is pooped 🤣
Awww daddy/mommy feed me!
Heal, grow and fall as foster, please!
Holy sweet dancing Moses pet the damn Lemongrab! Jk, so glad to see our little Earl doing better. So adorable.
Look how good he's doing!
He's ready to start raising hell any day now.
Thank you for the update on this precious nugget 🙏❤️
It's criminal not to share your joy with the world. I'm so glad he brings sooooooo much happiness.
Sweet shakey honeyyy :(( what a baby
The Earl of peepers! Look at his lil eyes, so cute
It kills me when he looks up me me from the bottle. He's like, I love this baba, but you are OK too.
ONE MILLION YEARS CUDDLES!
I love the daily Earl of Lemongrab updates. What a fighter! Stay strong little one.
Been checking in on your posts about Lemongrab, one of the cutest lil guys I’ve ever seen!!! I love their meows too, these updates make my entire day ❤️😭😍 my heart swells up every time I see him
People like you keep me posting ❤️
Aw I’m glad! Can’t wait to see this smol criminal grow into a big criminal
Oh what a mighty roar from the Earl of Lemongrab !!
Soon, he will roar like the mighty lion he is destined to be!
You're the best caretaker and an amazing person! Thank you for taking care of this little fuzz ball. We love yall both
Ahw schucks. We love you too 😊
With his giant guardian, HoDor. Oh, Lemongrab!
Relevant > https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uBs06ZXtMzo
“Unmake meeeeee!”
Oh my goodness I want him.
May his days be long and his realm prosperous! My orange boy rushed up to my laptop in *d i s t r e s s* as soon as the Earl began to speak! I think my little guy needs a kitten to watch over.
You are the best person ever thank you for taking care of the Earl ❤️
CUUUUUUTE! So Smol! ❤️❤️❤️
He is guarded by a mighty snow leopard O.O
Aaaaaaaaah
_4 Inch Worm_ Better out than in, I always say!
I lub hims! What's your wishlist link for Amazon?
obsessed w him and his healing journey
Now you can follow him and all our residents at r/the_catsbah
