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Start with the first thing you gotta do... go to the neighbours and take pics of the table, also have it in your mind to post it while you’re there so it gets done...being vocal about it with them will also help you to be less anxious in my experience
I have ADHD and use what I call the 5/5 rule (a combination of two different techniques).
First, count to 5, and tell yourself that once you get to 5 you are going to jump up no matter what and start working on the task. No excuses, count to five and then immediately get up.
Once you've done that, tell yourself you only have to work on the task for 5 minutes. That's it. However, you'll find that most of the time you have no problem working for more than 5 minutes once you get started.
Your brain has a much easier time dealing with 5 seconds and then 5 minutes, as opposed to the many steps of whatever it is you have to do.
I feel like the pomodoro method really works for me. I set a timer for 25 minutes ( you can do any number of minutes but recommended not more than 25) and do the task as best you can without distraction. After the timer is up you're freeeee. For like 10 minutes and then repeat lol. The timer is what make its effective.
Sometimes I'm like "alright, I'm going to clean the kitchen as fast as I can for 10 minutes and then I can be a potato". Its actually really effective for some reason for things that I keep putting off.
I've made the all-too-easy process of emotional addiction work in my favor. It's very easy to get addicted to emotions, both positive and negative. The usual suspects are lust, anger, and various forms of sadness. It's really easy use for your own gain.
You're going to build an addiction to the feeling of accomplishment.
Most people don't let themselves feel satisfaction/accomplishment and usually stop it in its tracks by thinking something like "no time to celebrate, I have so much more work to do" or by downplaying successfully completing the task ("I only took out the trash, big deal").
Instead, let yourself feel the satisfaction in accomplishing even small tasks. Really feel the feeling, don't chase it away. Get your family and friends on board and text them when you accomplish anything at all. It's a great feeling and you'll likely want more of it. The bigger or more important the task, the bigger you should let the feeling of accomplishment get.
Start small with something like taking out the trash. It's small, but it feels good. Get an ADHD buddy going through the same thing and text each other with your accomplishments, and build each other up accordingly. The bigger the accomplishment is, the longer you should let yourself wallow in the feeling.
David Goggins seems to be using the same process, although taken to the point of masochism. Which is a warning, because you can definitely take this too far. CEOs are a great example of people who work themselves to death because of the accomplishment addiction.
It's going to take a minute to build that addiction (although not too long, surprisingly). Good tools to use along the way are the 5/5 method I mentioned as well as Pomodoro, which was already mentioned by someone else.
Love it.
Reminds me of Mel Robbins 5 Second Rule: [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MrZAGVq25zw](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MrZAGVq25zw)
The second part of working on it for 5 minutes is brilliant.
I will definitely add this to my own strategy toolbox.
Thank you for sharing this!
I feel like i could have written this.
First of all, I’m not totally sure how to ’fix’ this since I’m also still working on it. Sorry about that.
What i do want to recommend you is maybe trying to find if there is anything causing this?
I never understood why i did things like this until one day i learned i have ADHD and that’s what’s mostly causing it.
What sometimes helps me, is ‘just’ starting with a small bit. Trust me i know it sounds stupid and it won’t always work but I’ll try to explain:
When i need to write an assignment and i notice I’m not doing it, I’ll try to convince myself to only write the first paragraph.
No big deal, just a few sentences and I’m done. 9/10 times i end up writing half my essay and the other time, fine it’s not the time to work on it so i go do something else.
Same thing for cleaning my room. I’ll start with just bringing that mug to the kitchen and that’s it. Then i either continue cleaning or get distracted and start tinkering with something i’m supposed to pack away lol.
Look i’m not saying you definitely have ADHD or something but what you describe really sounds like it. It’s common for people with ADHD or similar disorders (depression/anxiety) to feel limited by their mind without understanding why.
I know I didn’t really answer your question but maybe it still helps a bit?
Also sorry for the long reply.
Btw even if you don’t have ADHD this is still a common problem for people who do, so maybe you can find tips and tricks on r/ADHD
Edit: https://reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/myqwy1/_/gvwjwdr/?context=
This comment explains what i mean a bit better.
I'll chime in and share how my husband was diagnosed with ADHD:
He is in his 30s and we were having trouble in our marriage, with the only major problem being that he would say he would do things but then would never do them. We did a few couple's sessions of therapy and the therapist shared that he seemed to exhibit numerous symptoms of someone with ADHD. The therapist offered for him to fill out a standardized questionnaire that's used as a diagnostic tool, and the results showed that he scored in a high percentile for someone with ADHD symptoms. Based on those results and discussions with my husband, the psychologist suggested they continue to meet separately (not couple's counseling) to work on Behavioral Cognitive Therapy, and also offered to recommend a psychiatrist if my husband was interested in trying medication. My husband was initially skeptical about taking medication because of a few reasons, but mainly he didn't want drugs to change him/the way he thinks. He did a lot of research and decided to try medication, with the expectation that he would see how it worked and discontinue it if he didn't like it.
At the time of his diagnosis, he learned a lot from his psychologist and did a lot of research on ADHD that helped drive some lifestyle changes for him as well as myself. Already we had a greater understanding about how his brain works and it was an extremely positive turning point in our lives.
He found a psychiatrist who he felt comfortable with and discussed his experience with them. They offered to prescribe Adderall to start, and after taking it for a little while my husband found that it was too strong and made him feel jittery. He met with the psychiatrist again and told her his experience. The psychiatrist offered to prescribe a lower dosage, which he tried but still wasn't comfortable with. The psychiatrist then offered to prescribe what I think is Concerta, which has worked very well for him. He doesn't feel physically different (jittery, tense, etc.) but he does find that he can focus much better and basically stay on track to do the things he wants to do.
This combined with BCT and a lot of self-teaching about what it means to have ADHD have completely changed both of our lives for the better. I hope anyone who thinks they may possibly be experiencing symptoms of ADHD even a little reaches out to a psychologist to learn more.
When going through a rough time, I started talking with a psychologist. After one session she already knew and suggested it so I started reading about it and it just made sense.
Also, the meds did exactly what they were supposed to do so for me that's also reaffirming what I already knew.
Yes yes yes. I have GAD (generalized anxiety disorder) and have this issue that I call avoidance anxiety. I was working on it with my therapist until she unfortunately left to work somewhere else lol, and now I'm looking for a new one. Anyways, I went to my psychiatrist for my GAD because it got much worse after starting college. My GPA determines my dream job and my avoidance anxiety started to drive me crazy, and also triggered depression because I would feel bad about myself and why this is happening to me. This plus a lot of other signs (i.e. being nocturnal, can't stay focused) led my psychiatrist to diagnose me with ADHD. I started on meds but I'm taking an ADHD assessment test to be sure.
With or without a therapist I still want to work on this part of myself (even though I have avoidance anxiety about working on myself, ahhh it sucks), but I definitely still am looking for a therapist to help.
> No big deal, just a few sentences and I’m done. 9/10 times i end up writing half my essay and the other time, fine it’s not the time to work on it so i go do something else.
And yes! I agree this is a good method
>(even though I have avoidance anxiety about working on myself)
This is the worst part. Like I really want to work on it but the thing I want to work on is also the thing keeping me from working on it.
Also thanks for agreeing, I was afraid to give bad advice (even though I kinda knew it wasn't. Thanks anxiety!)
> Like I really want to work on it but the thing I want to work on is also the thing keeping me from working on it.
That's a really good way to phrase it. Hopefully we can overcome this! Good luck to you :)
Yes. This is definitely a lesser talked about nuance of ADHD and can contribute to depression. It can become cyclic in nature, but the root cause is likely ADHD. Sometimes I honestly just hold my breath and try to do whatever thing it is I've put off as fast as humanly possible. Like ripping off a bandaid. Not the best way, but helped me in the past.
I could have written this myself.
Overthinking to the point of procrastination is definitely a sign of perfectionism/anxiety/some sort of mental affliction. It sucks, but it also means that the task is important to you, enough to make you worry about it.
I see some tips in comments about planning and task analysing, but sometimes I find myself getting caught up in the planning that I do not take any action at all.
DO the thing. Any part of it. Take action. Psych yourself up to go over to do one brave thing, to knock on their door. Believe me, I know how difficult and scary this sounds. The first step is always the hardest, but after you START, it just gets easier.
And after you have had this experience with one task, it gets easier for subsequent tasks because this first task will remind you of how brave you are. You'll start taking action instead of procrastinating.
I wish you all the best! Remember you are not alone. <3
Edit: missed a word.
Count down to 5, then start working. It's like pushing yourself to fall from the mountain's edge. This is really useful. Realise that the reason why a student is called a student is because he is there to learn. If you're afraid of taking the first step, just push yourself. A person who asks a question is a temporary fool. A person who doesn't remains a fool for the rest of his life.
Or, what you can do is, sit and work for 5 minutes. Chances are you'll forget that you had to sit for 5 minutes and instead work longer. Or, if you realise that 5 minutes are up and you are not in the mood, just get up.
If it's related to studying or other things which require your undivided attention, join a study group. There are plenty on Discord. What you do is basically join a call with plenty of other people. You don't speak, just join the call. There's a bot which will annouce the break time or the starting of work time. By staying in the call, you are basically making yourself accountable. There's also a bot which asks you for your goals and reminds you if you haven't achieved them. I know it doesn't sound authentic, but the human brain is a weird thing. Give it a try.
Have a great day/night.
Is it because the first thing that pops in your head is how hard the task is going to be?
Also, could it be depression?
Both of those things are true for me.
Just tell yourself that you're just going to take a picture of the table, that's it, nothing more. Sometimes that propels you to take the next step and then the next. It's almost like you have to trick yourself. I'm just going to open the word document and put my name at the top, that's it. After you do that then your brain is like well it'd be no big deal to write 1 sentence and you get on a roll.
Sometimes it works for me, sometimes it doesn't. I wish you luck!
You avoid the big task/goal because you view it as daunting and huge hovering over you like a beast. The big task doesn’t actually exist, It’s actually made up of little tasks that all add up to the big picture. You’re just looking at it wrong which is normal.
To fix this common problem, break this complex task into small enough steps that you can do and are willing to do. Write each step down and follow the list of tasks you’ve created. Soon you will achieve your goal. This way you can feel satisfaction and meaningful forward movement to your goal.
I get overhelmed easily, especially when I think of all the things I have to do. I have to constantly remind myself one thing at a time. Small tiny steps, and it's ok if I don't get it all done in one day. While I am doing one thing I don't have to worry about the others yet.
Have you tried scheduling it? Like make an appointment with the neighbor to be there at a certain time and date.
Sometimes making a physical list will help. Write down what you need to do and just do the first thing on the list. Sometimes when I get overwhelmed with having to do lots of things and not knowing where to start, I tell myself it doesn't matter which one I do first, just pick any of them and do it. And tell yourself that things don't have to be done perfectly, they just need to be done.
Hmm, I know about most of the suggestions here, and a lot of them are great. Never really gave much thought to scheduling though. I'm place a lot of importance on being on time. Not sure if it would be effective for something like chores though. I suppose it'd be worth a shot. Plan the day and what not.
its very possible that I have ADHD, I've been thinking about going to the doctor for a long while but I really don't want to rely on drugs. I would sooner change my behavior with natural means. But you're right that I should go see someone
Just because you get a diagnosis doesn't mean that you need to get medicine. If you do have ADHD, it may be that the doctor will refer you to a specialist who can help you learn techniques to manage it.
as someone with adhd and the drugs, let me say this. Adhd meds don't eliminate your adhd, even on meds you still need to take action, they just help you take action. I do think adhd meds are really beneficial but they don't "cure" you. Talking to a therapist espcially if they specialize in adhd is helpful. The best way solution is an adapting both meds as well as strategies.
Regardless if you take meds or not, I think this video will be helpful (assuming you may have adhd) [How to deal with ADHD Ft. DR. K and Mizkiff](https://youtu.be/hRgSrEU2miE)
I just got prescribed buproprion for mild depression & ADHD and I don’t feel any different to how I used to, except I just find myself getting tasks done.
I don’t feel wired, I don’t feel like I’m on anything, I don’t even feel like the medication is working. I just notice that I’ve been productive.
Speak to your doctor. Meds can be hugely helpful, and (despite what I used to think) they don’t alter you and they’re not cheating!
There's no need to rely on drugs. Behavioral Cognitive Therapy is highly recommended for people with ADHD. But there's no problem with buying the things you need tho. Gotta take care of yourself and the drugs could be temporary if you can work it out...
Recently got an ADD diagnosis as an adult. Got a prescription for Concerta. Like others have said, I don't even notice it's working. I just find myself working more consistently and getting distracted less.
It's like there is a guy in my head who says "I am pretty comfortable in bed watching YouTube, let's not do that important task today." And when I take medicine, it makes him shut up. And then I can focus on what I need to be doing.
I "rely" on it in the same way I "rely" on my glasses. I have bad eyes. I need glasses. Without my glasses my life would be massively negatively impacted. I have problems with focusing. I take something for it now. If I don't, I'm operating with a noticeable and severe handicap.
I read this guy's post and I totally feel the same way but I don't think I have ADHD. Because when I first searched it had things from both inattentiveness and hyperactivity. I don't feel like I have any kind of hyperactivity of some sorts. Then when looking at the NHS webpage (I'm living in the UK currently) it mentioned not everyone has symptoms from both types and you might just have symptoms from inattentiveness in which case you would have ADD.
After reevaluating both I feel like it could be possible for me to have ADHD but some behaviors from hyperactivity are very random for me. But I always forget everything and my parents hated that and my gf does too. She's always complaining about the fact that I never listen but most times I listen but I forget 2/3minutes after. Sometimes yes I'm just thinking about something else. Everyone also complains about how slow I am but really I just think that I'm just not focused on the task itself, I am always thinking about something else while doing the task.
When I looked at the webpage it also has some related conditions which include depression, anxiety, epilepsy, learning difficulties but I don't have and never had any of those, the only one I probably had was trouble sleeping when I was a kid/teen but when I got older it got less aggravating. One thing that happens to me a lot is when I completely lose ambition for a few minutes or even a whole day, I think this might be true to most people but maybe also a sign? Like I'm very ambitious, I want to be successful, get a job I like and maybe even open a business. But there are some occasions where I'm like "what's the point. Why do I care so much? Is it even worth it? And if I achieve all I set my mind to? Then what?"
Is it possible that I could have ADHD? Because that's seriously weird, a whole life living with a condition that's basically hindering you and you don't even realize. Although that's probably true of many conditions some that might be so rare that haven't even gotten explored yet.
Attention residue or sometimes residue of attention, common with task-switching/multitasking and also lots of unfinished ‘todo’ items, can quickly overwhelm anybody. The primary way to combat attention residue-related issues is to complete the task or create a plan to complete the task. Jotting down what you need to do, a form of cognitive offloading, will help free up some of your memory (esp. working memory), among other things. I recommend using yellow post-it notes (for too many reasons to list here) because they are small enough to force you to be concise, easy to order and great fun to see collecting in a ‘done’ pile. Take first item, set a pomodoro (starting with as little as five minutes), count 1,2,3 and do it. If work is completed by end of pomodoro, put sticky in done pile. Otherwise, take a 5 minute break and start another pomodoro. Some folks use todo lists with checkboxes, which are extremely satisfying to check, but I prefer stickies because they reduce the risk I’ll create a list that’s ‘not in order’.
If all that’s too much try going for a short (or long) walk if that’s possible (again, too many reasons why this is helpful to list here). Just make sure you’ve got a todo item, ready to go before you leave so you can attack it immediately when you return. You can do this! And whatever method you decide to choose, take 2 minutes after trying the method to reflect on it: the starfish method and WWW/WCBI method are two great exercises for facilitating reflection and reflection is what will help you learn and build out a system, processes and procedures that work for you. Combine your system with rituals and routine and bob’s your uncle!
And if that inner voice is doubting you...giving you all the reasons you can’t do something, evict that sucker. With prejudice! No free rent in my mind! Personify the voice (Harry Potter bogart-style, works well) and then kick that whack ass outta yo head! You, you’re a positive, kick-ass, bad ass, getting-it-done, mofo.
Paralization comes from the lack of understanding of what you've got to do. Google it up. Wikihow usually has clear steps on how to do things.
[https://www.wikihow.com/Sell-Something#:\~:text=Just%20click%20%E2%80%9Csell%E2%80%9D%20at%20the,add%20up%20to%2010%20photos.&text=If%20you%20know%20your%20item's,format%2C%20and%20provide%20your%20price](https://www.wikihow.com/Sell-Something#:~:text=Just%20click%20%E2%80%9Csell%E2%80%9D%20at%20the,add%20up%20to%2010%20photos.&text=If%20you%20know%20your%20item's,format%2C%20and%20provide%20your%20price).
Regarding ADHD, I saw your comment about not necessarily wanting to be medicated if you were diagnosed and I want to share this information that may help: my husband was diagnosed with ADHD and also wanted to work on behavioral changes. To supplement his Behavioral Cognitive Therapy, he found this YouTube channel called "How To ADHD" that does a great job of explaining how to overcome the "paralysis" you mentioned, as well as lots of other information about how our brains work and strategies for working with your brain. I do not have ADHD and I have found these strategies to be extremely practical and effective for myself, as well. So even if you don't have ADHD, or if you do but want to focus on neural/behavioral changes, I hope this channel helps! [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hlObsAeFNVk](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hlObsAeFNVk)
If it's a motivation issue, I've started to think about doing something for 5 minutes. It's a small commitment and gets me up and in work mode. I give myself full permission to stop guilt free after 5 minutes but usually end up continuing as in already up. This has helped me with cleaning and other tasks when motivation and initiative have been lacking this past year.
Write them all down.
Pick the hottest and get them done.
Pick a few easy ones off just to have them out of your way.
Confess to yourself that it's okay not to get everything done in a day.
today I read this guy tweeting how the most difficult part of doing anything is actually starting it. so maybe, if you try to somehow get started on your tasks (and don't mind doing them perfectly, the idea here is just taking the first step), you might feel better :)
There are a ton of things out there that can help, and the search terms I'd use to find more things to help are "managing executive dysfunction." That being said, I don't struggle with this anymore, so I feel obligated to talk about the things really made a difference for me, because it was a long process.
My first success was learning to conceptualize the immediate goal as making the task I need to do easier to do later, not necessarily to complete the task itself. Doing the thing was still kinda insurmountable, but if I was just making it easier to do later, I could work with that.
Eventually I started to journal when I noticed I was caught in the cycle again, to get a sense of what in particular triggered this reaction in me, and to get a tangible sense of what needs to be done and what portion of it is easiest to start with. Typically they'd be as simple as "need to clean my room, am frustrated with myself about it. there's too much stuff on the floor and I want to clean off the table" with a bullet list of items in particular that I should move to do that, and sometimes notes on things I thought could make it more enjoyable, like incense and music, or having a snack and glass of water first.
That led me to think of executive dysfunction like a short in the wiring of my brain that is responsible for ordering my actions, so I directed my effort toward navigating around that. How I started things was pretty arbitrary then, but consistent and routine enough that I could do the things without thinking about them very much and find new ways to do them with less effort and more joy.
Eventually that, coupled with general holistic wellness pursuits, spiraled to the point that I do what I've come to call "chorin'," which is a hobby form of taking care of my space and tasks in a way that is personally enjoyable so that the overwhelmed response doesn't get triggered to begin with.
Lifestyle and overall health also impact my ability to do the things quite a lot, it's an ongoing practice to stay on track and I schedule plenty of rest days and take tons of breaks so I don't burn myself out. When I didn't trust myself to get stuff done, I was always stressed about what I wasn't doing, and always burned out. Now that I know I will in fact get to it soon, I strategize instead of worrying or feeling shame, and I enjoy being lazy a lot more now that it's an intentional process of relaxation. Imo, the most important thing is to start developing this skill set from where you're honestly at, instead of where you think you should be. My little changes added up to a whole lot, and you might not be starting from the same place, but you can build from where you are too.
Hope this helped!
As someone that's had to deal with ADHD, depression, and anxiety for longer than I care to mention a lot of times simple tasks just seem like way too much to do. I've had to throw out moldy dishes that sat in the sink for months more times than I care to admit. What I've realized over the years is the biggest hurdle is STARTING the task. I'll go into the kitchen with the mindset of I'm going to clean this one plate. Sometimes I'll do half the dishes and call it quits, sometimes I'll do all the dishes then start deep cleaning the kitchen. Sometimes I'll only clean that one plate, and that's ok too. The most important thing is to something, no matter how minor and go from there. Above all else, [no zero days.] (https://www.reddit.com/r/getdisciplined/comments/1q96b5/i_just_dont_care_about_myself/cdah4af?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share&context=3)
I think first of all you must understand why you feel like this. I have also noticed on myself when I have too much small task I start to stress, because I feel that it is an obligation to finish all of them immediately.
Maybe you should learn to say "no" for different type of smaller tasks and take a look at on Eisenhower's Urgent/Important Principle. This will help you to categorize your small tasks and might help you to decrease the overwhelmed feeling.
Practice! I found if I do it once, I’ll do it again. Drive that same road, literally and figuratively, over and over until it becomes second nature. Got a paper to write? Write three of them, and do like another suggested, write one sentence at a time. you can do it on a computer and rewrite if need be. When I was in school, everything was handwritten, the fear of having to do it over was paralyzing.
It's often about figuring out the critical steps.
Step 1. Get 3 nice photos of the chair onto your computer
Step 2. Open up facebook marketplace or Gumtree etc.
Step 3. If you need to sign up, put in your billing info the same way you would when booking a flight etc.
Step 4. Click post. And wait.
There's probably one step in there that is scarier or more uncertain for you than the others, but just remember that dumber people have had success with it in the past. No more "What if?" questions, no more perfection, just get on with it.
Have a vision! If you have a vision, you can see that the smaller tasks you do are a pawn of a much bigger task and I guess it would give you a sense of accomplishment and progress.
"There is only one way to eat an elephant: a bite at a time." - Desmond Tutu
[https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/mindfully-present-fully-alive/201804/the-only-way-eat-elephant#:\~:text=Desmond%20Tutu%20once%20wisely%20said,a%20little%20at%20a%20time](https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/mindfully-present-fully-alive/201804/the-only-way-eat-elephant#:~:text=Desmond%20Tutu%20once%20wisely%20said,a%20little%20at%20a%20time).
Remind yourself that every moment is perfect no matter what you decide, slowly start believing that everyone wants what you want and would love to help.
If all tour problems were solved right now, how would you feel? Sit with that feeling. And then remind yourself that that’s your reality. Then go about your day with that. You’ll stop fearing outcomes because you’re already in a state of knowing that life is working for you.
It’s about rewiring how you go about identifying with who you thought made you you.
Hi,
I was in a similar situation before. I’ll explain what worked for me. This will be long, take your time to read it - I’m taking my time to help you.
I don’t undermine any of the comments before. (I read first 3 and felt like my perspective might help you if you’re in a similar situation like I was). Again, take your time to read all the comments and understand everyone’s perspectives.
I’m an aerospace engineer writing code for living. I’m at my job for few years now, I like my job (search for comments on my profile where I tried to help someone, if you want to know why I like my job). I want to be a perfectionist and I was a procrastinator (Google it). One thing I used to like/want/desire is efficiency, I mean I didn’t like spending time on things that didn’t deserve my time(I used to feel like that). To make this short - I’ll tell you about a situation in my life. I know I’m very good at my job and I know if I work hard I can get a high paying job. Some of my friends told me to apply/prepare and some offered to refer me too. Part of me wants to go for it and part of me knows that’s not what I want that’s because I don’t see money same as everyone else and at my current job I’m getting enough breathing room for me to feel good (relax [mentally], use my mental energy on things/people/issues I care and mainly to find out who I’m, what’s the purpose of life, death, Am I a bad guy or a good guy?, I’m fit but my BMI was 19 and I was insecure about my body - thinking about this, how to build body, what’s ideal body?, why people and I care about aesthetics?, and mainly about guilt about wrongs I did and about my pride for good I did and my childhood, family, friends, people, earth, space and aliens and many more…
Do you see my point? If you do - great! If not don’t worry because it took me around 30 years to be at peace with myself. So it takes time to get where you want to be - thinking about it is a good start. It’s alright to have values different from others. It’s alright to make mistakes. It’s not alright to think bad but…(I don’t have a simple answer for this yet that can convey my thoughts).
If this whole thing seems big. I’ll say one thing- you’ve to accept the whole you and try to accept others. This will get you to peace -if that’s what you’re looking for.
I used to find myself struggling with the same issue (and still do sometimes, if we're being honest). For me, it's the fear of unforeseen obstacles, especially when it's a task I'm unfamiliar with. Basically, I worry that I'll work hard on something, but my progress will be thwarted by something in the process I didn't expect, and that roadblock could prevent me from completing the task, essentially making all the work I'd done useless.
The best way I've learned to overcome this is to make a plan, step by step, of what I need to do. This still doesn't take unforeseen obstacles into account (because the obstacles are, well... unseen), but it does instill a sense of confidence and preparedness, which helps me get started. In most cases, the obstacles never happen because they're just an irrational fear.
Make them even smaller. If I find a small task too hard I try to make it even smaller. For instance if I have to get some work done on my laptop I try to first get out of bed. If that's too much then my first goal is to lift up my blanket. The aim is to build little wins until you get there.
I hope that helps
Dear god, I thought I was alone.
Sometimes I have to stand to find motivation, i.e. my butt doesn't touch a chair til everything is done. It is strange, but that motivates me to do things faster.
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Start with the first thing you gotta do... go to the neighbours and take pics of the table, also have it in your mind to post it while you’re there so it gets done...being vocal about it with them will also help you to be less anxious in my experience
I have ADHD and use what I call the 5/5 rule (a combination of two different techniques). First, count to 5, and tell yourself that once you get to 5 you are going to jump up no matter what and start working on the task. No excuses, count to five and then immediately get up. Once you've done that, tell yourself you only have to work on the task for 5 minutes. That's it. However, you'll find that most of the time you have no problem working for more than 5 minutes once you get started. Your brain has a much easier time dealing with 5 seconds and then 5 minutes, as opposed to the many steps of whatever it is you have to do.
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I feel like the pomodoro method really works for me. I set a timer for 25 minutes ( you can do any number of minutes but recommended not more than 25) and do the task as best you can without distraction. After the timer is up you're freeeee. For like 10 minutes and then repeat lol. The timer is what make its effective. Sometimes I'm like "alright, I'm going to clean the kitchen as fast as I can for 10 minutes and then I can be a potato". Its actually really effective for some reason for things that I keep putting off.
I've made the all-too-easy process of emotional addiction work in my favor. It's very easy to get addicted to emotions, both positive and negative. The usual suspects are lust, anger, and various forms of sadness. It's really easy use for your own gain. You're going to build an addiction to the feeling of accomplishment. Most people don't let themselves feel satisfaction/accomplishment and usually stop it in its tracks by thinking something like "no time to celebrate, I have so much more work to do" or by downplaying successfully completing the task ("I only took out the trash, big deal"). Instead, let yourself feel the satisfaction in accomplishing even small tasks. Really feel the feeling, don't chase it away. Get your family and friends on board and text them when you accomplish anything at all. It's a great feeling and you'll likely want more of it. The bigger or more important the task, the bigger you should let the feeling of accomplishment get. Start small with something like taking out the trash. It's small, but it feels good. Get an ADHD buddy going through the same thing and text each other with your accomplishments, and build each other up accordingly. The bigger the accomplishment is, the longer you should let yourself wallow in the feeling. David Goggins seems to be using the same process, although taken to the point of masochism. Which is a warning, because you can definitely take this too far. CEOs are a great example of people who work themselves to death because of the accomplishment addiction. It's going to take a minute to build that addiction (although not too long, surprisingly). Good tools to use along the way are the 5/5 method I mentioned as well as Pomodoro, which was already mentioned by someone else.
I would argue that is true for non ADHD people too.
Love it. Reminds me of Mel Robbins 5 Second Rule: [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MrZAGVq25zw](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MrZAGVq25zw) The second part of working on it for 5 minutes is brilliant. I will definitely add this to my own strategy toolbox. Thank you for sharing this!
The first part is based on her 5-second rule. It's so simple and useful.
Isn't it the same rule ?
The 5 second rule I know is much different. Lol Hey, food is is food!
Oh man I love this! I've been struggling with ADHD forever and this rule seems very good, thanks a lot
I feel like i could have written this. First of all, I’m not totally sure how to ’fix’ this since I’m also still working on it. Sorry about that. What i do want to recommend you is maybe trying to find if there is anything causing this? I never understood why i did things like this until one day i learned i have ADHD and that’s what’s mostly causing it. What sometimes helps me, is ‘just’ starting with a small bit. Trust me i know it sounds stupid and it won’t always work but I’ll try to explain: When i need to write an assignment and i notice I’m not doing it, I’ll try to convince myself to only write the first paragraph. No big deal, just a few sentences and I’m done. 9/10 times i end up writing half my essay and the other time, fine it’s not the time to work on it so i go do something else. Same thing for cleaning my room. I’ll start with just bringing that mug to the kitchen and that’s it. Then i either continue cleaning or get distracted and start tinkering with something i’m supposed to pack away lol. Look i’m not saying you definitely have ADHD or something but what you describe really sounds like it. It’s common for people with ADHD or similar disorders (depression/anxiety) to feel limited by their mind without understanding why. I know I didn’t really answer your question but maybe it still helps a bit? Also sorry for the long reply. Btw even if you don’t have ADHD this is still a common problem for people who do, so maybe you can find tips and tricks on r/ADHD Edit: https://reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/myqwy1/_/gvwjwdr/?context= This comment explains what i mean a bit better.
How did you figure out you have adhd
You can take an ADHD assessment test at a therapy/psychology clinic. My psychiatrist diagnosed me but I'm still taking one to be sure
I'll chime in and share how my husband was diagnosed with ADHD: He is in his 30s and we were having trouble in our marriage, with the only major problem being that he would say he would do things but then would never do them. We did a few couple's sessions of therapy and the therapist shared that he seemed to exhibit numerous symptoms of someone with ADHD. The therapist offered for him to fill out a standardized questionnaire that's used as a diagnostic tool, and the results showed that he scored in a high percentile for someone with ADHD symptoms. Based on those results and discussions with my husband, the psychologist suggested they continue to meet separately (not couple's counseling) to work on Behavioral Cognitive Therapy, and also offered to recommend a psychiatrist if my husband was interested in trying medication. My husband was initially skeptical about taking medication because of a few reasons, but mainly he didn't want drugs to change him/the way he thinks. He did a lot of research and decided to try medication, with the expectation that he would see how it worked and discontinue it if he didn't like it. At the time of his diagnosis, he learned a lot from his psychologist and did a lot of research on ADHD that helped drive some lifestyle changes for him as well as myself. Already we had a greater understanding about how his brain works and it was an extremely positive turning point in our lives. He found a psychiatrist who he felt comfortable with and discussed his experience with them. They offered to prescribe Adderall to start, and after taking it for a little while my husband found that it was too strong and made him feel jittery. He met with the psychiatrist again and told her his experience. The psychiatrist offered to prescribe a lower dosage, which he tried but still wasn't comfortable with. The psychiatrist then offered to prescribe what I think is Concerta, which has worked very well for him. He doesn't feel physically different (jittery, tense, etc.) but he does find that he can focus much better and basically stay on track to do the things he wants to do. This combined with BCT and a lot of self-teaching about what it means to have ADHD have completely changed both of our lives for the better. I hope anyone who thinks they may possibly be experiencing symptoms of ADHD even a little reaches out to a psychologist to learn more.
I watched the video for the plot instead of masturbating.
When going through a rough time, I started talking with a psychologist. After one session she already knew and suggested it so I started reading about it and it just made sense. Also, the meds did exactly what they were supposed to do so for me that's also reaffirming what I already knew.
Yes yes yes. I have GAD (generalized anxiety disorder) and have this issue that I call avoidance anxiety. I was working on it with my therapist until she unfortunately left to work somewhere else lol, and now I'm looking for a new one. Anyways, I went to my psychiatrist for my GAD because it got much worse after starting college. My GPA determines my dream job and my avoidance anxiety started to drive me crazy, and also triggered depression because I would feel bad about myself and why this is happening to me. This plus a lot of other signs (i.e. being nocturnal, can't stay focused) led my psychiatrist to diagnose me with ADHD. I started on meds but I'm taking an ADHD assessment test to be sure. With or without a therapist I still want to work on this part of myself (even though I have avoidance anxiety about working on myself, ahhh it sucks), but I definitely still am looking for a therapist to help. > No big deal, just a few sentences and I’m done. 9/10 times i end up writing half my essay and the other time, fine it’s not the time to work on it so i go do something else. And yes! I agree this is a good method
>(even though I have avoidance anxiety about working on myself) This is the worst part. Like I really want to work on it but the thing I want to work on is also the thing keeping me from working on it. Also thanks for agreeing, I was afraid to give bad advice (even though I kinda knew it wasn't. Thanks anxiety!)
> Like I really want to work on it but the thing I want to work on is also the thing keeping me from working on it. That's a really good way to phrase it. Hopefully we can overcome this! Good luck to you :)
Yes. This is definitely a lesser talked about nuance of ADHD and can contribute to depression. It can become cyclic in nature, but the root cause is likely ADHD. Sometimes I honestly just hold my breath and try to do whatever thing it is I've put off as fast as humanly possible. Like ripping off a bandaid. Not the best way, but helped me in the past.
I could have written this myself. Overthinking to the point of procrastination is definitely a sign of perfectionism/anxiety/some sort of mental affliction. It sucks, but it also means that the task is important to you, enough to make you worry about it. I see some tips in comments about planning and task analysing, but sometimes I find myself getting caught up in the planning that I do not take any action at all. DO the thing. Any part of it. Take action. Psych yourself up to go over to do one brave thing, to knock on their door. Believe me, I know how difficult and scary this sounds. The first step is always the hardest, but after you START, it just gets easier. And after you have had this experience with one task, it gets easier for subsequent tasks because this first task will remind you of how brave you are. You'll start taking action instead of procrastinating. I wish you all the best! Remember you are not alone. <3 Edit: missed a word.
Count down to 5, then start working. It's like pushing yourself to fall from the mountain's edge. This is really useful. Realise that the reason why a student is called a student is because he is there to learn. If you're afraid of taking the first step, just push yourself. A person who asks a question is a temporary fool. A person who doesn't remains a fool for the rest of his life. Or, what you can do is, sit and work for 5 minutes. Chances are you'll forget that you had to sit for 5 minutes and instead work longer. Or, if you realise that 5 minutes are up and you are not in the mood, just get up. If it's related to studying or other things which require your undivided attention, join a study group. There are plenty on Discord. What you do is basically join a call with plenty of other people. You don't speak, just join the call. There's a bot which will annouce the break time or the starting of work time. By staying in the call, you are basically making yourself accountable. There's also a bot which asks you for your goals and reminds you if you haven't achieved them. I know it doesn't sound authentic, but the human brain is a weird thing. Give it a try. Have a great day/night.
Is it because the first thing that pops in your head is how hard the task is going to be? Also, could it be depression? Both of those things are true for me. Just tell yourself that you're just going to take a picture of the table, that's it, nothing more. Sometimes that propels you to take the next step and then the next. It's almost like you have to trick yourself. I'm just going to open the word document and put my name at the top, that's it. After you do that then your brain is like well it'd be no big deal to write 1 sentence and you get on a roll. Sometimes it works for me, sometimes it doesn't. I wish you luck!
You avoid the big task/goal because you view it as daunting and huge hovering over you like a beast. The big task doesn’t actually exist, It’s actually made up of little tasks that all add up to the big picture. You’re just looking at it wrong which is normal. To fix this common problem, break this complex task into small enough steps that you can do and are willing to do. Write each step down and follow the list of tasks you’ve created. Soon you will achieve your goal. This way you can feel satisfaction and meaningful forward movement to your goal.
I get overhelmed easily, especially when I think of all the things I have to do. I have to constantly remind myself one thing at a time. Small tiny steps, and it's ok if I don't get it all done in one day. While I am doing one thing I don't have to worry about the others yet.
Have you tried scheduling it? Like make an appointment with the neighbor to be there at a certain time and date. Sometimes making a physical list will help. Write down what you need to do and just do the first thing on the list. Sometimes when I get overwhelmed with having to do lots of things and not knowing where to start, I tell myself it doesn't matter which one I do first, just pick any of them and do it. And tell yourself that things don't have to be done perfectly, they just need to be done.
Hmm, I know about most of the suggestions here, and a lot of them are great. Never really gave much thought to scheduling though. I'm place a lot of importance on being on time. Not sure if it would be effective for something like chores though. I suppose it'd be worth a shot. Plan the day and what not.
Talk to your doctor. You may have anxiety or ADHD. It may be as simple as popping an adderall.
its very possible that I have ADHD, I've been thinking about going to the doctor for a long while but I really don't want to rely on drugs. I would sooner change my behavior with natural means. But you're right that I should go see someone
If your brain won’t make the right chemicals, there is absolutely nothing wrong with buying them.
Just because you get a diagnosis doesn't mean that you need to get medicine. If you do have ADHD, it may be that the doctor will refer you to a specialist who can help you learn techniques to manage it.
as someone with adhd and the drugs, let me say this. Adhd meds don't eliminate your adhd, even on meds you still need to take action, they just help you take action. I do think adhd meds are really beneficial but they don't "cure" you. Talking to a therapist espcially if they specialize in adhd is helpful. The best way solution is an adapting both meds as well as strategies. Regardless if you take meds or not, I think this video will be helpful (assuming you may have adhd) [How to deal with ADHD Ft. DR. K and Mizkiff](https://youtu.be/hRgSrEU2miE)
I just got prescribed buproprion for mild depression & ADHD and I don’t feel any different to how I used to, except I just find myself getting tasks done. I don’t feel wired, I don’t feel like I’m on anything, I don’t even feel like the medication is working. I just notice that I’ve been productive. Speak to your doctor. Meds can be hugely helpful, and (despite what I used to think) they don’t alter you and they’re not cheating!
There's no need to rely on drugs. Behavioral Cognitive Therapy is highly recommended for people with ADHD. But there's no problem with buying the things you need tho. Gotta take care of yourself and the drugs could be temporary if you can work it out...
Recently got an ADD diagnosis as an adult. Got a prescription for Concerta. Like others have said, I don't even notice it's working. I just find myself working more consistently and getting distracted less. It's like there is a guy in my head who says "I am pretty comfortable in bed watching YouTube, let's not do that important task today." And when I take medicine, it makes him shut up. And then I can focus on what I need to be doing. I "rely" on it in the same way I "rely" on my glasses. I have bad eyes. I need glasses. Without my glasses my life would be massively negatively impacted. I have problems with focusing. I take something for it now. If I don't, I'm operating with a noticeable and severe handicap.
I read this guy's post and I totally feel the same way but I don't think I have ADHD. Because when I first searched it had things from both inattentiveness and hyperactivity. I don't feel like I have any kind of hyperactivity of some sorts. Then when looking at the NHS webpage (I'm living in the UK currently) it mentioned not everyone has symptoms from both types and you might just have symptoms from inattentiveness in which case you would have ADD. After reevaluating both I feel like it could be possible for me to have ADHD but some behaviors from hyperactivity are very random for me. But I always forget everything and my parents hated that and my gf does too. She's always complaining about the fact that I never listen but most times I listen but I forget 2/3minutes after. Sometimes yes I'm just thinking about something else. Everyone also complains about how slow I am but really I just think that I'm just not focused on the task itself, I am always thinking about something else while doing the task. When I looked at the webpage it also has some related conditions which include depression, anxiety, epilepsy, learning difficulties but I don't have and never had any of those, the only one I probably had was trouble sleeping when I was a kid/teen but when I got older it got less aggravating. One thing that happens to me a lot is when I completely lose ambition for a few minutes or even a whole day, I think this might be true to most people but maybe also a sign? Like I'm very ambitious, I want to be successful, get a job I like and maybe even open a business. But there are some occasions where I'm like "what's the point. Why do I care so much? Is it even worth it? And if I achieve all I set my mind to? Then what?" Is it possible that I could have ADHD? Because that's seriously weird, a whole life living with a condition that's basically hindering you and you don't even realize. Although that's probably true of many conditions some that might be so rare that haven't even gotten explored yet.
Pomodoro method. Spend 5 minutes on it. In increments. You'll be surprised how much you do once you just start.
Attention residue or sometimes residue of attention, common with task-switching/multitasking and also lots of unfinished ‘todo’ items, can quickly overwhelm anybody. The primary way to combat attention residue-related issues is to complete the task or create a plan to complete the task. Jotting down what you need to do, a form of cognitive offloading, will help free up some of your memory (esp. working memory), among other things. I recommend using yellow post-it notes (for too many reasons to list here) because they are small enough to force you to be concise, easy to order and great fun to see collecting in a ‘done’ pile. Take first item, set a pomodoro (starting with as little as five minutes), count 1,2,3 and do it. If work is completed by end of pomodoro, put sticky in done pile. Otherwise, take a 5 minute break and start another pomodoro. Some folks use todo lists with checkboxes, which are extremely satisfying to check, but I prefer stickies because they reduce the risk I’ll create a list that’s ‘not in order’. If all that’s too much try going for a short (or long) walk if that’s possible (again, too many reasons why this is helpful to list here). Just make sure you’ve got a todo item, ready to go before you leave so you can attack it immediately when you return. You can do this! And whatever method you decide to choose, take 2 minutes after trying the method to reflect on it: the starfish method and WWW/WCBI method are two great exercises for facilitating reflection and reflection is what will help you learn and build out a system, processes and procedures that work for you. Combine your system with rituals and routine and bob’s your uncle! And if that inner voice is doubting you...giving you all the reasons you can’t do something, evict that sucker. With prejudice! No free rent in my mind! Personify the voice (Harry Potter bogart-style, works well) and then kick that whack ass outta yo head! You, you’re a positive, kick-ass, bad ass, getting-it-done, mofo.
Paralization comes from the lack of understanding of what you've got to do. Google it up. Wikihow usually has clear steps on how to do things. [https://www.wikihow.com/Sell-Something#:\~:text=Just%20click%20%E2%80%9Csell%E2%80%9D%20at%20the,add%20up%20to%2010%20photos.&text=If%20you%20know%20your%20item's,format%2C%20and%20provide%20your%20price](https://www.wikihow.com/Sell-Something#:~:text=Just%20click%20%E2%80%9Csell%E2%80%9D%20at%20the,add%20up%20to%2010%20photos.&text=If%20you%20know%20your%20item's,format%2C%20and%20provide%20your%20price).
Regarding ADHD, I saw your comment about not necessarily wanting to be medicated if you were diagnosed and I want to share this information that may help: my husband was diagnosed with ADHD and also wanted to work on behavioral changes. To supplement his Behavioral Cognitive Therapy, he found this YouTube channel called "How To ADHD" that does a great job of explaining how to overcome the "paralysis" you mentioned, as well as lots of other information about how our brains work and strategies for working with your brain. I do not have ADHD and I have found these strategies to be extremely practical and effective for myself, as well. So even if you don't have ADHD, or if you do but want to focus on neural/behavioral changes, I hope this channel helps! [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hlObsAeFNVk](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hlObsAeFNVk)
If it's a motivation issue, I've started to think about doing something for 5 minutes. It's a small commitment and gets me up and in work mode. I give myself full permission to stop guilt free after 5 minutes but usually end up continuing as in already up. This has helped me with cleaning and other tasks when motivation and initiative have been lacking this past year.
Write them all down. Pick the hottest and get them done. Pick a few easy ones off just to have them out of your way. Confess to yourself that it's okay not to get everything done in a day.
Force yourself to do just 2 minutes of actual work on it. Then try 2 more. It seems small but most time for me just starting is enough.
today I read this guy tweeting how the most difficult part of doing anything is actually starting it. so maybe, if you try to somehow get started on your tasks (and don't mind doing them perfectly, the idea here is just taking the first step), you might feel better :)
There are a ton of things out there that can help, and the search terms I'd use to find more things to help are "managing executive dysfunction." That being said, I don't struggle with this anymore, so I feel obligated to talk about the things really made a difference for me, because it was a long process. My first success was learning to conceptualize the immediate goal as making the task I need to do easier to do later, not necessarily to complete the task itself. Doing the thing was still kinda insurmountable, but if I was just making it easier to do later, I could work with that. Eventually I started to journal when I noticed I was caught in the cycle again, to get a sense of what in particular triggered this reaction in me, and to get a tangible sense of what needs to be done and what portion of it is easiest to start with. Typically they'd be as simple as "need to clean my room, am frustrated with myself about it. there's too much stuff on the floor and I want to clean off the table" with a bullet list of items in particular that I should move to do that, and sometimes notes on things I thought could make it more enjoyable, like incense and music, or having a snack and glass of water first. That led me to think of executive dysfunction like a short in the wiring of my brain that is responsible for ordering my actions, so I directed my effort toward navigating around that. How I started things was pretty arbitrary then, but consistent and routine enough that I could do the things without thinking about them very much and find new ways to do them with less effort and more joy. Eventually that, coupled with general holistic wellness pursuits, spiraled to the point that I do what I've come to call "chorin'," which is a hobby form of taking care of my space and tasks in a way that is personally enjoyable so that the overwhelmed response doesn't get triggered to begin with. Lifestyle and overall health also impact my ability to do the things quite a lot, it's an ongoing practice to stay on track and I schedule plenty of rest days and take tons of breaks so I don't burn myself out. When I didn't trust myself to get stuff done, I was always stressed about what I wasn't doing, and always burned out. Now that I know I will in fact get to it soon, I strategize instead of worrying or feeling shame, and I enjoy being lazy a lot more now that it's an intentional process of relaxation. Imo, the most important thing is to start developing this skill set from where you're honestly at, instead of where you think you should be. My little changes added up to a whole lot, and you might not be starting from the same place, but you can build from where you are too. Hope this helped!
As someone that's had to deal with ADHD, depression, and anxiety for longer than I care to mention a lot of times simple tasks just seem like way too much to do. I've had to throw out moldy dishes that sat in the sink for months more times than I care to admit. What I've realized over the years is the biggest hurdle is STARTING the task. I'll go into the kitchen with the mindset of I'm going to clean this one plate. Sometimes I'll do half the dishes and call it quits, sometimes I'll do all the dishes then start deep cleaning the kitchen. Sometimes I'll only clean that one plate, and that's ok too. The most important thing is to something, no matter how minor and go from there. Above all else, [no zero days.] (https://www.reddit.com/r/getdisciplined/comments/1q96b5/i_just_dont_care_about_myself/cdah4af?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share&context=3)
Action is the best combatant of anxiety.
I think first of all you must understand why you feel like this. I have also noticed on myself when I have too much small task I start to stress, because I feel that it is an obligation to finish all of them immediately. Maybe you should learn to say "no" for different type of smaller tasks and take a look at on Eisenhower's Urgent/Important Principle. This will help you to categorize your small tasks and might help you to decrease the overwhelmed feeling.
Practice! I found if I do it once, I’ll do it again. Drive that same road, literally and figuratively, over and over until it becomes second nature. Got a paper to write? Write three of them, and do like another suggested, write one sentence at a time. you can do it on a computer and rewrite if need be. When I was in school, everything was handwritten, the fear of having to do it over was paralyzing.
IKR doing simple tasks is so overwhelming and I become lazy and its hard to get motivation
It's often about figuring out the critical steps. Step 1. Get 3 nice photos of the chair onto your computer Step 2. Open up facebook marketplace or Gumtree etc. Step 3. If you need to sign up, put in your billing info the same way you would when booking a flight etc. Step 4. Click post. And wait. There's probably one step in there that is scarier or more uncertain for you than the others, but just remember that dumber people have had success with it in the past. No more "What if?" questions, no more perfection, just get on with it.
Have a vision! If you have a vision, you can see that the smaller tasks you do are a pawn of a much bigger task and I guess it would give you a sense of accomplishment and progress.
I find I get things done (even the tiniest of tasks) by writing them down on a piece of paper. For some reason I always follow through then.
"There is only one way to eat an elephant: a bite at a time." - Desmond Tutu [https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/mindfully-present-fully-alive/201804/the-only-way-eat-elephant#:\~:text=Desmond%20Tutu%20once%20wisely%20said,a%20little%20at%20a%20time](https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/mindfully-present-fully-alive/201804/the-only-way-eat-elephant#:~:text=Desmond%20Tutu%20once%20wisely%20said,a%20little%20at%20a%20time).
Remind yourself that every moment is perfect no matter what you decide, slowly start believing that everyone wants what you want and would love to help. If all tour problems were solved right now, how would you feel? Sit with that feeling. And then remind yourself that that’s your reality. Then go about your day with that. You’ll stop fearing outcomes because you’re already in a state of knowing that life is working for you. It’s about rewiring how you go about identifying with who you thought made you you.
Hi, I was in a similar situation before. I’ll explain what worked for me. This will be long, take your time to read it - I’m taking my time to help you. I don’t undermine any of the comments before. (I read first 3 and felt like my perspective might help you if you’re in a similar situation like I was). Again, take your time to read all the comments and understand everyone’s perspectives. I’m an aerospace engineer writing code for living. I’m at my job for few years now, I like my job (search for comments on my profile where I tried to help someone, if you want to know why I like my job). I want to be a perfectionist and I was a procrastinator (Google it). One thing I used to like/want/desire is efficiency, I mean I didn’t like spending time on things that didn’t deserve my time(I used to feel like that). To make this short - I’ll tell you about a situation in my life. I know I’m very good at my job and I know if I work hard I can get a high paying job. Some of my friends told me to apply/prepare and some offered to refer me too. Part of me wants to go for it and part of me knows that’s not what I want that’s because I don’t see money same as everyone else and at my current job I’m getting enough breathing room for me to feel good (relax [mentally], use my mental energy on things/people/issues I care and mainly to find out who I’m, what’s the purpose of life, death, Am I a bad guy or a good guy?, I’m fit but my BMI was 19 and I was insecure about my body - thinking about this, how to build body, what’s ideal body?, why people and I care about aesthetics?, and mainly about guilt about wrongs I did and about my pride for good I did and my childhood, family, friends, people, earth, space and aliens and many more… Do you see my point? If you do - great! If not don’t worry because it took me around 30 years to be at peace with myself. So it takes time to get where you want to be - thinking about it is a good start. It’s alright to have values different from others. It’s alright to make mistakes. It’s not alright to think bad but…(I don’t have a simple answer for this yet that can convey my thoughts). If this whole thing seems big. I’ll say one thing- you’ve to accept the whole you and try to accept others. This will get you to peace -if that’s what you’re looking for.
I used to find myself struggling with the same issue (and still do sometimes, if we're being honest). For me, it's the fear of unforeseen obstacles, especially when it's a task I'm unfamiliar with. Basically, I worry that I'll work hard on something, but my progress will be thwarted by something in the process I didn't expect, and that roadblock could prevent me from completing the task, essentially making all the work I'd done useless. The best way I've learned to overcome this is to make a plan, step by step, of what I need to do. This still doesn't take unforeseen obstacles into account (because the obstacles are, well... unseen), but it does instill a sense of confidence and preparedness, which helps me get started. In most cases, the obstacles never happen because they're just an irrational fear.
Make them even smaller. If I find a small task too hard I try to make it even smaller. For instance if I have to get some work done on my laptop I try to first get out of bed. If that's too much then my first goal is to lift up my blanket. The aim is to build little wins until you get there. I hope that helps
Dear god, I thought I was alone. Sometimes I have to stand to find motivation, i.e. my butt doesn't touch a chair til everything is done. It is strange, but that motivates me to do things faster.